Severe acute respiratory syndrome
“Never dwell where there's a musty smell”
“Why worry about SARS! Swine flu is going to kill us ALL!”
Sudden acute rock sensation (SARS, pron.: /ˈsɑrz/ SARZ) is a viral pop-music infection which spread across the world and killed millions in 2003. The most likely way to get SARS is to come into contact with your television set. Even mild exposure to SARs has been known to initiate Asiananation.
Background[edit | edit source]
The name S.A.R.S stands for “Sudden and Acute Rock Sensation,” the phrase was first coined by frontman Kid A from Radiohead who provided vocals as well as really mediocre guitar tracks. The founding keyboardist/pianist was Osmosis Jones however he soon parted ways with the band after a falling out with Kid A over Drugs and Buttsecks. After their first CD, (The Hippy, Hippy Coughs) Osmosis Jones was replaced with Ray Charles who helped write the band’s hit single “Baby, I Can’t See a Fucking Thing.” Bass was provided via a Texas Instruments Speak & Spell, which was played by Gary Busey, who operated the device using his own “Texas Instrument.” Drummage was preformed by Captain Jack Sparrow, who was later replaced by Captain Morgan, on Kid A’s assertion that “Johnny Depp is a fucking fag.” Borat was also in association with the sars program
"Hit Em With A Little Ghetto Gospel"[edit | edit source]
The sound of SARS has been decided as “an interesting and unique full body dry heave but with more annoying vocals” by some. Other people say that their sound was neither interesting or unique as they sounded “exactly like Eminem, just a little less faggy.”
Kid A’s claims the influence for the bands lyrics was inspired by, Edgar Allen Poe's “The Masquerade of Red Death,” the movie “Philadelphia,” as well as Barney the Purple Dinosaur. On the subject of musical influence Kid A is quoted as “What do you mean musical influence? We’re a pop band! We don’t write our own shit! We just lip sync it dumbass.” To which then Keyboardist/Pianist Ray Charles added “True that, double true, I can’t see shit!”
Timeline[edit | edit source]
- November 1997: The mighty Loc-Nar descended from the heavens above, signaling the end times.
- December 1997: Later that year, the first case/gig of Sudden and Acute Rock Sensation was reported in a small village in the Congo Jungle.
- July 1998: SARS got picked up by a talent scout of the viral marketing agency CDC and moved to the badlands of Japan.
- February 1999: SARS’ upcoming hit single “You cough up blood then you die” was leaked onto the Napster online music pirate to pirate file sharing community.
- April 1999: The Man shut down Napster but it was too late, as all human life had been devastated by the SARS viral marketing campaign.
- June 1999: Taarna flew in riding a pterodactyl-like creature and kicked the Loc-Nar’s ass using a new antibiotic called Peniscillin. SARS soon became unpopular and broke up.
- March 2000: The ghost of Charles Darwin took several monkeys and evolved them into humans, then had sex with them, and repopulated the earth, he said it was the most fun he’s ever had.
- July 2002: Several of the remaining members of SARS (now zombies) formed a new group called Bird Flu which are currently working there way to the top of the charts.
- April 2009: A new group of the SARS called Swine Flu and are currently emerging.
- December 2020: Someone in Wuhan China ate an expired bat and went on to cause a new breed of SARS... Better known as. Coronavirus disease 2019.