The Second Canadian-American War
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“Every sixty seconds, an American is killed by a Canadian Terminator in Winnipeg...”
“If it seems too good to be true, then it's probably from America.”
| The Second Canadian-American War (or, the War of 1812 2) | |||||||||
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| Part of Trump's wild ride | |||||||||
 It's like 'nam, without the trees. |
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| Belligerents | |||||||||
 Canada
|  The United States of America
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| Commanders and leaders | |||||||||
| Bae Trudeau
| The Big Bad Thump
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| Strength | |||||||||
| ~3 million in total
Canada
(Most Canadians who were enlisted were heavily obese beavers.)
| United States
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The Second Canadian-American War, also known as the Second War of 1812, Oh God Trump's At It Again!, Teh Cannuck War, The Tariff War, and Trimmy's Water Gun Fight was the invasion of the Confederation of Cannuckia by the United States of America beginning on February 4th, 2025, during Trump's wild conquest of the world. Approximately three million soldiers was enlisted in total to fight in the war, with many American soldiers wearing MAGA hats, and many Canadian soldiers wearing beaver pelts. The Second Canadian-American War was a major escalation in American foreign policy, bringing several new countries to join on the Canadian side, mainly Mexico, mostly because they also got hit with tariffs.
Background[edit | edit source]
Ever since Trump had gained the role of president for the second time in human history, the future of the United States was destined: To annex its neighbours under the idea of "liberty", "equality", and Burger King.[1] Trump's rapid smoking (which may have been influenced by Elon) at the White House not only cause the entire cabinet to die (which also benefited Trump... unless he died himself, in which he would be replaced by Kamala Harris), but also caused wild forest fires throughout Montreal, New Brunswick, and Scotland 2. The hosers at our homeland didn't care, as this shit has happened on every single day of the week.
Unfortunately for Canada, Trump's smoking addictions had gotten to the point in which he couldn't figure out if Canada was Canadian, or the largest state of 'Murica. Fortunately for Canada, Trump's ideas for what to do with Canada were bat fuck insane, like putting a Trump hotel in the middle of nowhere.
Eventually, a less smokin' Trump stated that he'd put tariffs on Canada and Mexico. But, Trump being Trump, he'd actually decide to invade Canada. And so it begins...
Buildup[edit | edit source]
...
First phase - Invasion into Canada[edit | edit source]
The invasion began at the morning of the fourth of February, 2025, after Elon Musk told Trump that the invasion was the only way to silence those silly astronomers the fuck up after they kept complaining about Starlink, alongside the other reasons already specified. Elon Musk, surprisingly, was sent to be executed, after Trump though that Elon was trying to put a Neuralink brainchip inside of his head.
The invasion of Canada would be the largest invasion of a country in North America so far, with approximately one million four hundred troops on the Canadian border, before eventually being beaten by the War for Hoth in Alaska.
Immediately after the war was declared, the Niagara Falls (cannuck city) fell to forces in Niagara Falls (fat city), causing the Niagara Falls (national park) to have its water to explode. This caused severe tragedies, mostly for brainless American tourists, because now their choices of where to go "around the world" had just been made smaller.
Several divisions were meant to take Edmundston, however, due to confusion with Edmonton, this plan was postponed until the battle of Edmonton. Many other towns in New Brunswick, including Grand Falls and Woodstock had fallen.
Abbotsford, a city near Vancouver, was in the crossfire between Canadian and western American forces. The Abbotsfordians[2] proudfully shit themselves inside of the city.
Battle of the Drug Addicts in Vancouver That Wanted To Make A Very Long Name[edit | edit source]
Second phase - Mexican intervention[edit | edit source]
Third phase - Climax[edit | edit source]
Fourth phase - American Stalemate[edit | edit source]
Final phase - Invasion into America[edit | edit source]
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
Notes[edit | edit source]
See also[edit | edit source]
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