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Today's featured article Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s. Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change. Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...) Recently featured: Bill Clinton Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die? ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf? ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost? ... no, you didn't! Stop lying! ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured) ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that I think you know what's happening today? ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die? ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf? ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost? ... no, you didn't! Stop lying! ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured) ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that I think you know what's happening today? ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem! ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die? ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf? ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost? ... no, you didn't! Stop lying! ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?	In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP On this day... April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 3141 BC - The world's first great pi was baked. It took $\pi$ years to eat. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1503 - Disneyland Central America opens in the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell I can't remember. (Pictured) 2001 - The butterfly effect is proved in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition.
Today's featured husky NOBODY EXPECTS THE BLOODY CANADIANS! Edit Igloo Image Credit: Zombiebaron Chives - Liberal Party
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