User talk:The Thinker

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DO NOT WHORE ON MY TALK PAGE.
I'm a very regular user. If I want to vote for your article, trust me, I'll find it.
Also, please do not add Thank You templates to this page. You're welcome. I have to work in the morning.

New on Bottom, Por Favor

Worship may resume? WORSHIP?

I don't worship ANYONE except God, Mickey Mouse and the feet of my favorite prostitute! --THE 23:20, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Same goes for me, except with Zappa, Freakazoid and the feet of my favorite kinky pornos. -RAHB 23:22, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, Jim Henson, MST3K and the ass of women who sleep with me by choice are my lords and saviors, but hey man, THINKERism is being put on the Florida state religious roster for 2012. My followers may worship freely! --THINKER 23:24, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

THEism is revolutionising the state of Maine as well. All of Maine's literate residents adore me. --THE 23:25, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

There are already too many religions in California. I don't even bother. -RAHB 23:27, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Hey guys

THINKER's back. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:29, May 29

Oh shit, really? Oh yeah, HI THINKER! -RAHB 04:49, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

And now ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tom Jones!

--THINKER 04:55, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Question Mark?

What's that question mark there for? Is there anything I can do to the article to remove said mark? I'm not actually trying to change your vote here, or whore in any way, just to get the feedback of someone whose opinion I value. Don't just leave me with an enigmatic vote comment here man! ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 08:45, May 29

Its just kinda Sarah Plain and Tall man. It doesn't compel me, and I didn't get all the many laughs out of it. Thus, a question mark. Sorry my friend. --THINKER 13:37, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I was kinda wondering if you had any suggestions to make it less plain, but never mind. You've joined an exclusive club good sir, you are only my second ever against vote thus far. I was expecting far more, given some of the articles I've put out! Still, your honesty is always appreciated, and it's good to see you about the place. Hang on, didn't I say that in a previous post on this page? Am I starting to repeat myself already? Heck... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:50, May 29

I feel kinda responsible for this... well I felt it was ready :/ --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:54, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Woah, slow down there DJ - it's got a few votes, and I'm not complaining about Thinker's vote or your nom or anything. I was just asking his opinion on how he would have improved it - if you can't get advice from the WotY, who can you get advice from? If it's a quasi, it's a quasi, and so be it, I'm happy with that. I refuse to whore it about or get miffed that it didn't hit everyone's funny button. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:02, May 29

Look man, I'm admittedly tough on VFH noms. If there aren't going to be quality reforms elsewhere on the site, I like to express tough love on what makes the front page.

That said, I have never been a huge fan of dispensing comedic/prose advice in a few sentences, and I especially don't like to do it after the article is already completed. Even pieces that I think have huge potential (ie. pieces I end up THINKERing) I don't mess with until it's stood on it's own merit. If the rest of the gang thinks its ready for FA (which it very well might be -- different strokes, etc) then don't worry about it. If it fails and you'd like to get in-depth with it, we'll talk at length. Don't be offended though man; it's just a nom, and doesn't mean I don't like your writing. --THINKER 14:23, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

I wasn't complaining about the vote in the slightest! As I said, thanks for your honesty (I am repeating myself - am I going prematurely senile?) The day I get that bothered about a vote or a feature is the day I stop editing Uncyc. Correspondence on this topic closed - see you around! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:32, May 29

Right. All I'm saying is that if you want the advice from me, it should be before the article starts and isn't gunna be in 3 words. Laterz --THINKER 16:07, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Sorry to but in chaps! I happened to be wandering past and wondered if perhaps I might pick some brains so to speak. I have been toying with the idea of voting against on VFH a bit more than I do myself recently. I think far too many people just read and vote for if it's even vaguely good. If they hate it, they don't vote. Practical upshot is that we have to rely on time stripping out a non popular nom, and a lot of people's reading time goes for nothing when it could be helping make VFH better. Is that your thinking Thinker? Also, are you saying that you don't think VFH is a place to improve articles? Maybe I read you wrong. As I said, sorry to but in, this may be my first appearance on this page, but I'm thinking of changing how I vote to a more Thinker like style and wondered what your thoughts were. Cheers. Sorry about all the poopy puns, I'm in a punny stupid mood. MrN 00:49, Jun 2

To clarify... I guess I'm asking... "Do you think the silent abstain is a bad thing"? MrN 01:03, Jun 2

It depends, if it is something that took little to no effort and is just crap then fine but sometimes you may not get it and others will and find it hilarious. If it is well written I vote For even if I don't fully understand it as a recognition of their effort. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 01:07, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Why vote based on what you think might be the opinion of others? If you don't get it surely you should vote against? If everyone did that would VFH not work better? MrN 01:24, Jun 2

mmm but if the person put in a lot of effort it is hardly fair to go FAIL I dUn git it?... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 01:27, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Actually, I think VFH would work better if everyone did. Thanks for your comments DJ, I guess we should leave poor thinkers talk page alone now until such time as he decides to comment. Cheers. MrN 01:35, Jun 2

I think VFH would work better if the featured article every day cycled between things I have written. Think about it. -RAHB 02:38, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

I have no opinion about the voting habits of others, or want to be made as someone who is trying to "set an example" for other users when it comes to voting (that would be pie making; there I may be exalted on high). People are free to vote however they choose, and I respect that concept. However, I am a strongly opinionated person when it comes to comedy (see my archives with me and the moose fellow debating), and I'm honest about it.

I do take a little more stock in the quality of features than others. As egotistical as this may sound, I like to surround my work with other pieces of outstanding writing and humor. And as the mainpage is the first thing a person sees when first coming to Uncyc, I think they should be greeted with something funny that represents the best the site has to offer. I think the site is too polite with criticism: keep in mind my votes are never aimed at any of the writers personally. My personality clashes with certain users but I still view their work for the work itself. That Thursday Ape person told me to fuck off and I still vote for his funny ones. I'm just being honest for the benefit of the writers; I'm not consciously lying to them, or withholding a vote until their run whithers away. VFH: you ask our opinions, and you will get mine from me.

As for my feeling about improving articles mid-VFH, that too is just my personal feeling. I don't like to work on articles mid-run because personally I don't like that situation as a working condition. Just me; if you can make an article better, improve it all the live-long day.

In short: It's yo thang, do whatcha wanna do. I'ma do me. Other song lyric that means vote however makes you happy on VFH. --THINKER 05:04, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments. MrN 16:59, Jun 2

Any time. We do have fun here on THINKER's Corner, don't we folks? --THINKER 17:49, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

And now, this:

*pop* Yeah, er, thanks for *pop* your vote for *pop* that... oh lord, her whole dress is made of... *popop* *pop*

OK, it wasn't a for vote, but I thank everyone who's taken time to read and article and give an opinion in the form of a vote. And as I believe I said earlier, your honesty is always welcome! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:24, Jun 4

Any time man. Can't wait for the next one. --THINKER 04:25, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Is...

...this you? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:12, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

And while we're at it...is this? --THE 00:10, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Naw. Thinker is this. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:17, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Silly people. this is Thinkerer. -RAHB 01:01, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

1. No.
2. Yes (in 1987; we had the best camera on the block back then)
3. Yes (you caught me in one of my "black and pissy" moods)
4. WTF? Not cool.
--THINKER 05:10, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah-ha! So you aren't Thinkerer! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:36, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

lol --THINKER 05:39, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Lol, indeed. Serendipity as well. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:59, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

RAAAWR

RAAAAWR!! GRAAH! Gavin thanks you for voting to publish his memoirs. Just don't let any trannies read it. Thanks for voting.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:52 Jun 5

Pic?

About this. So yeah, I've got RAHB, how about the mighty THINKER? Or will the software not adequately capture your likeness? ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:23, Jun 9

I made one last night, I'll add it this evening. --THINKER 16:45, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

My gallery has been THINKER'd. Cool! Nice hat. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:46, Jun 12

Just a quick note

Hi, I just saw your against vote-thats cool. However I would be grateful if you did not "Overhall" my article-The humour is intentionaly a lot more subtle than any of my prevous efforts, and I think this has worked well, plus there aren't any more areas of his career I see that would be worth my while to Parody-the key areas of his career are in the bag there.Thanks--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:51, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Absolutely. --THINKER 16:22, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:Irish voters got it all wrong

Hiho, thanks for t(h)inkering around with the UnNews article, but I have one question: you do know that our beloved chancelorette Angela Merkel is a woman, don't you? So I presume the use of his (in "his last audience with George W. Bush") is intended for satirical purposes. Or not? Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 13:37, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Ah, I must've thought I was talking about Sarkozy in that instance, good catch. I hope everything in the update is to your liking. --THINKER 04:48, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Very much so, never fear. I always try to maintain a high standard in my articles' language, but as a non-native speaker I might miss the best way to express things just by so much. And of course there are many funny aspects I'd never could begin to think of from my German point of view. - The special funny thing in your "his"/"her" edit, on the other hand, is that Angela Merkel in German Uncyclopedia and other satires is often referred to as "it" (in German "Das Merkel", which cannot be translated since you have no different gender pronouns :), but I think this sort of joke would be rather lost in the English language. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 08:41, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Hah, yeah I get ya. You've got a great command of English for a non-native speaker though man, don't belittle your abilities. I'm sure like you said about the "her/him" vs. "it" thing; comedy doesn't always translate well from one language to another (Spanish especially; I've noticed this many a late night watching Univision). If you're this good with satire in English, your German work must be quite hysterical. --THINKER 08:50, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

I hope so :) Thanks. Cannot say much about Spanish, though - my Spanish is barely sufficient to buy a cup of coffee. Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 14:04, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Hey, the article made it! Thanks for the nomination! NaturalBornKieler (talk) 12:04, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

For your vote in favour of today's FA, please allow me to serve you a modest Irish breakfast:

Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 21:39, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Adoption For n00bs

TheGreatLiquidFox He seeks your great adopting powers. Target missles at Mayo, they must die! --TheGreatLiquidFox

Okay, lesson 1: we talk on talk pages. I'll respond on your talk. --THINKER 00:19, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, The Thinker!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, The Thinker, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE

...by the way, that's an invitation, not a whore. -

Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[21:50 29 June]

I don't join these kinds of things, sorry. --THINKER 22:47, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for Voting!

HEY, GUESS WHAT?! YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A BURNING KNUCKLE OF THANKS!

...for voting on HowTo:Get Around In A Fighting Tournament.

Victoly for you!! - User:Hanyouman

---

-- Hanyouman 15:18, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Collab

So, hey, I'd like to write another UnTune. Er, do you have any ideas? Or lyrics? --Hyperbole 17:44, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

YES! Yes I do have lyrics. Can you play funk guitar riffs? --THINKER 06:19, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Oh. Wow. Um... maybe. It's amazing the things I can do that I can't do, given technology and enough takes :) --Hyperbole 17:30, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Hah, hey man as long as it sounds good in the end I don't care how you make it happen. Gimmie a little bit of time (I'm working a bit more the next 2 weeks so I'm gunna just write it there). We'll figure out how the music will go once the I get the lyrics down and get a basic framework with my little '96 pimpin' casio keyboard (really just core melodic concepts; I'll leave most of the musical end to you). Which reminds me, what kind of programs and equipment are you working with? I'm an audio engineer, so I could probably secure some studio time for Pro Tools editing depending how well the rough draft comes out. Also if I can't, RAHB has some decent software, so I can work with him to perfect it. I'll keep ya posted, 'cause the song idea I'm thinking of going with is pretty funny. --THINKER 22:29, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Hey It's Me Again

Yeah, me. I wrote something. I actually like this something. I would be enthralled if you read it. I enjoy simple sentences. https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/UnNews:4th_of_July_celebrates_birth_of_Chris_Hansen --SirIsaac 00:43, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

As I sit here and watch the Twilight Zone marathon quite merrily I say that I very much like it! The pic could be a bit better but the caption makes up for that I think. Yeah man, add it to Template:RecentUnNews. I wish you'd write more Mr. Isaac; as my first adoptee turned FA'd writer, I have a special place in my gin-soaked, near-black heart. --THINKER 06:19, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Okay, sir, you've convinced me.

This is Dr. Skullthumper. He is sorry. And a bit bloody. Mental note to actually put the cat out before operating on it next time.

It's July again and I realize the Uncyclopedia I joined last year is not the Uncyclopedia I'm on today. And do you know why? It's about quality. You're absolutely right.

But you know why I'm seeing quality go down the drain? It's because there's no one to impress anymore. I'm not sure if this is the same for everyone, but... Last year, when I was a noob, I was like, "daymn, this site is good, I'd better write some good shit if I want to live." And I did, the first article I wrote was a feature. You are right, it's the standards that pushed me.

I look around today and there's no one to impress. The features feel formulaic. I don't write here for fun because there's no one to write for. Last year, there was you, Ljlego, Thekillerfroggy, RAHB, and the like, and many other great users. Now, they've stopped (or at least very much slowed down) writing, and so have I. Why? Because I know if I really set my mind to it I could probably have a "feature" written by tomorrow.

Last year, it wasn't about the features. Last year, I got real live feedback from other users, like the ones I listed. Last year, it was about having fun, because I felt like I always had to do better. The site felt more alive. Now, it feels like a machine.

That's what I want to avoid, and that's why I'm usually so much against Quality Control, is the machinelike feel. But I think the lack of challenge is what's caused it to be machinelike. I think that in all this, we've lost our "natural" Quality Control - our desire to impress other users as good as or better than ourselves. Where are the regulars, man? I'd be back in a second if all of them were back and writing as much as before. How I do miss last year. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:14 Jul 05, 2008

Dr. Skullthumper needs to get laid... You are complaining because you have become a better writer? Oh, hi Thinker. MrN 21:26, Jul 5

I keep forgetting there's no such thing as a personal note on a wiki. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:28 Jul 05, 2008

Maybe you should write a bog instead? OK, I'm off this page. Promise. MrN 21:31, Jul 5

TL;DR!!!   Le Cejak • <21:43, 05 Jul 2008>

What do you mean we've become formulaic? I resemble that accusation. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I don't actually have any input for this discussion. I just wanna see how many people can comment in one section of Thinker's talk page before he gets to it. -RAHB 21:56, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

I blame Cajek. Ban his ass! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:58 Jul 05, 2008

It's always Cajek that adds the irrelevant messages to serious discussions. FU Cajek! For fucking up this discussion! Whatever it was about. -RAHB 22:01, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

I believe it had to do with certain people not writing like they used to. Go write something, damn it! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:02 Jul 05, 2008

Read it and weep. Actually, you might really weep. I'm not sure if it's funny, I'm still waiting for the reviews to flood in. TKF! WHERE ARE YOU! GET OVER HERE AND WRITE SOMETHING! -RAHB 22:05, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

This is a bump. I'm seriously very curious now to see if we can get like a record number of people to edit a talk page before the owner actually gets to it. -RAHB 22:37, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Somebody owns this place? Looks vacant to me.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

(diff) (hist) . .  User talk:The Thinker‎; 22:37 . . (+201) . . RAHB (Talk | contribs) 
(→Okay, sir, you've convinced me.:  EVERYBODY EDIT THINKER'S TALKPAGE)

I can't I said I would not. MrN 22:45, Jul 5

Doesn't seem to be working as well as I'd hoped. -RAHB 22:52, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

TL;DR!!!!!!!!   Le Cejak • <23:54, 05 Jul 2008>

Shut your fek up Cajek. There he goes again. Just trolling around teh site starting trouble wherever he wanders... MrN 00:00, Jul 6

Dude, balls. That is all. --Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 01:20, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Subtopic

Sign here if you think Thinker's sig is ugly. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:41 Jul 06, 2008

• EW GRAY. Who the fuck uses gray in their sigs? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:41 Jul 06, 2008
• What he said. Zombieninja 00:58, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
• Something -RAHB 05:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Hello! My Name is THINKER...

and this is why we can't have nice things. It's not even like I left for any prolonged period of time; I go to work, and return to this. Thanks for the fair warning RAHB. Now I'm going to try to untangle this web of shit. I'm drunk and have to be up in 4 hours, so conditions are perfect.

1. Dr. Skullthumper - I'm glad that you're finally interpreting my statements as they've been intended. But when you're talking about entertaining others man, I think you need to turn it inward. Write to entertain yourself dude. I can't speak for anyone but THINKER, but when I write, the entire process can be summed up in 1 sentence: I find a concept that I think is funny, then use it to make myself laugh. If you write things that entertain you then the goal is already accomplished dude: readership is an awesome, amazing side effect. You're one of the lucky people alive in our failure of a generation that writes well enough to make others laugh. THINKER is telling you this; it's fact. So, first write to entertain yourself my friend. Thereafter, whatever shall be shall be.

In fact if anything, your point about not having the great regs around to appreciate new articles only bolsters the idea of upping the bar around here: if the mainpage is filled with subpar, rubbish articles, what incentive is there for the next Cajek or the next DJ Irreverent to stick around and grace us with their unique brands of humor? Uncyc is one of hundreds of user-generated comedy websites. What makes us so special? Our good writers. Which is why the greats should be on the front page, all our other quality debates, etc. You are one of them man; let's strengthen our good company.

As for the regs not being around, this may be so, and its unfortunate when people trail off. But there is still a pretty active reg readership I think, or at least newer users becoming regs so to speak. I try to read as many new articles as possible, of course most especially VFH articles. And you wanna know what? Let the whole site trail off into oblivion: the writers who properly use Uncyc as a creative outlet shall continue on. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.

2. My sig is probably the most heterosexual on this site, so stuff it.

Hm.. that about covers it. I'm going to continue drinking now, thank you. --THINKER 06:49, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

"Heterosexual" and yet the words "New on Bottom, Por Favor" appear at the top of your talk page. Questions, questions, question... MrN 22:34, Jul 6

I do write to entertain myself... just not here. It's an internal conflict more than anything else, do I write long stories or try to force myself to write for a site that feels like I'm writing into a black hole? Article writing is not my natural habitat.

Also I find it largely ironic that we're trying to accomplish the same end but think the opposite means will work (more users, better writing, shiz like this). Oh, my aching head. Also, you think this talk page raping was bad? Dude, did you even see my userpage when I left for Lent? Hehe, people r teh funnies.

To clarify, my biggest fear about quality control is locking out the noobs. And yet, quality control seems to encourage the noobs at the same time. Damn it, this is hard. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:58 Jul 07, 2008

Well the site being a blackhole I can't help on. If thats the way you feel about it, I'd actually advise you not to access it in favor of seriously honing in on the non-site stuff you do. As an ambitious person in the field, writing your long stories and not being so concerned with the site may be better for you. I am a resilient fucker and do both, but that isn't for everyone most assuredly. If you don't think the site is bettering you in any way then its probably having the opposite affect. That of course isn't to say I'm encouraging to leave -- because I like your work and do look forward to new pieces -- but if you're feeling like Uncyc is a dead end for you, it might be a self-fulfilling prophecy situation.

And locking out n00bs with standards would be if they were ironclad, set-in-stone rules. Front page quality is not that: it is (or should be) merely saying "hey there n00b, you're not ready for the spotlight just yet -- lets get you working towards becoming that level." We have our share of dicks on the site, but staving off n00bs is not a practice of even those folk. --THINKER 02:11, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Woaaaah, far out!

This is a haiku Thanking you for voting For On this article

-RAHB 23:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Hmm...

I suppose we should finish the project. It's been what...two years? :-D --THE 16:31, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

Dude, I want to. I really want to. But right now, I'm just in a million places, working on actual work and other such ridiculous nonsense. If you want to go ahead and finish the edits, the DVD menu page and all the other stuff we planned, I promise you I will come through and do a THINKERing (much like how we ended up finishing the commentary page). I will also promise to do the UnNews article when the DVD is completely ready to be posted. If you don't want to I completely understand, but you see my contribs man; getting old and wanting more is taking a definite toll on me. I don't like it, but I can't help it at the moment. Hopefully one day in the future I'll be working in the capacity of my dreams and able to be making money and be on Uncyc at the same time. --THINKER 04:19, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I've not had much time to edit uncyc lately either...I might take you up on the offer for me to finish it then you to THINKER it after. I'll keep you posted! --THE 10:27, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

TheGreatLiquidFox: A Mid-page Declaration

Hmm, I've now made an UnNews Article, I think I'll go for the Foolitzer Prize when I have atleast five healthy ones. --TheGreatLiquidFox 19:48, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

Hah, good on ya mate. I haven't been around to fairly cast a vote, but if I get some time in the coming week I'll look over your progress. --THINKER 04:14, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Remember me?

I'm sorry I seemed to abandon Uncyclopedia, but school got in the way, along with getting banned from the computer for most of the summer. So, um, I'm back! --Anakin 21:44, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

Hello my young apprentice! I too have been slacking on my Uncyclopedia utilization as of late (though I did put up one article recently). Good to see you're back in the swing of things though; let me know when you post a new article! --THINKER 18:40, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

While I was out...

Uncyclopedia appears to have died and/or turned to shit. I must politely query what the fuck happened, but that is not why I am writing this. Before I realized what happened, I wrote this: UnNews:Medvedev discovered to have strings coming from arms, legs Cheers, mate, assuming you ever read this. --SirIsaac 17:19, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

The direction of the site is somewhat unfortunate, but there is only so much petitioning one can do for quality control measures. I got tired of fighting that fight. But I am very glad to see you continuing to write; I recently read Employee Manual again, and it brought back some very fond memories. This latest piece is yet again another fine example of your talents and strengths -- great stuff dude. --THINKER 04:15, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

The thinker!!!

Hey! I'm kind of not having time to bump around uncyclopedia at the moment. I'm still interested in finishing Sex Seafood though, at some point in the future. "In the future" meaning "at some point before I die." sorry for the pitiful lack of progress on the behind the scenes page. How've you been? --THE 23:34, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Heh, its all good dude, I'm much the same right now. I really would like to see Sex Seafood completed as well, but fear not; the idea is there, and as it is something that I've always thought had insanely grand potential, I might end up rewriting the script and using it for my portfolio (sharing all credit, of course). I think that the actual "film" itself kind of outshines the Bog/UQG story arc, which is what compels me to take it further. But by all means dude, get it to the point that we've always wanted it in whatever time is needed. Uncyc is (hopefully) not going anywhere, except for it's own domain and hosting. ;) --THINKER 04:22, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I agree that the script itself is actually much more compelling than the UQG and Bog article. The article is amusing but kind of nonsensical, whereas the script is actually a pretty epic satire. Also, I totally missed all of the drama about the domain name. --THE 12:21, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Judgery

Well, the Ball begins this Thursday, and writing will be halted on December 11th. And then the judging begins. I currently have you slated for judging the Aristocrats section of the competition, so here's the notice for that (along with likely another notice the week the judging will begin). Let me know if anything comes up so I can fill the spot. Cheers. (though I know we'll be talking plenty between now and then anyways) -RAHB 08:51, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Generic TDB Message

This is a generic message, being sent out to you, because you are one of the judges that is to judge in this year's Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball judging. The instructions for judging, and the judging results posting, are to be found at this page. Your judging is to take place between the judging days of December 11th and December 21st, and to be posted to the judging page by the end of the judging span. If you are unable to judge the judging, please let me know on my talk page, in which case I will make my judgment of which user is the best prospective judge to judge. Have a good day, and happy judging! -RAHB 01:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)

Another generic TDB message

Just one (approximately) day left until the judging deadline, and you are one of three judges to have not yet turned in their final judgeries. This is just a reminder message that the deadline is coming up, and that we'd like to have winners announced and rewarded before the 22nd. The judgery page can be found here, so just go ahead and post up your results when you're finished with them. Cheers and happy judging. -RAHB 23:07, 20 December 2008 (UTC)

What yall that you wasn't gon see me?! I'm the Osiris of this shit! --THINKER 02:03, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

...yeah... -RAHB 02:24, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21

I thank thee...

...for thy vote on The Aristocats Christmas Time Special. Sir, if thy were wearing a tri-corner hat, I would take it off to thou. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

Tis' The Season

PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

---

During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes also, coooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:46, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

----Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 08:12, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Hi there Great One

We're doing PLS in March. I'm not wearing any panties.--Sycamore (Talk) 14:07, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

Splendid on all fronts! Though I am still wondering what the hell happened with the Wikia talks, and why our URL is still the same uncool shit I was hoping would be gone by the time I returned... Looks like I'm gunna have to strap on my gasoline boots yet again. Le sigh --THINKER 00:33, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I too am pissed about the current situation regarding that. Maybe we should permanently provide a link on the front page to a "Wikia sucks" article.--<<>> 00:41, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Well what the hell happened man? Did no one ever initiate the talks to make the move towards independence?? In this economy, Wikia would probably love to shed the weight of our hosting: we need to make this happen in a real way, Brad. If you're in IRC I'm gunna get on so we can discuss this a little bit. --THINKER 00:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

PLS judging

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, if these rules are not cognisant within you, or of you don't know what the word "cognisant" means.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! –—Hv (talk) 24/03 20:24

On it. Thanks! --THINKER 20:49, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote

I think Plink has taken the Best Article PLS, and it's partly thanks to your support.

I'll send out the proper thanks templates once it's officially confirmed, but one thing I wanted to respond to regarding your review - there is a possibly-too-subtle significance to the fact the the plinks don't occur every fifteen times. This character ("you") is reeling with the consequences of his own overconfident self-styled "masculinity" which is really causing him to lose eveything that matters. The fact that he "has confirmed" that it's every fifteenth drip, but in fact it is not, is intended to paint this picture. I'm a sucker for literary subtlety, but perhaps this feature is too subtle here.

Anyway, thank for your support. --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 17:59, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

I see what you're saying. Personally I believe the application wasn't the best choice in this instance, but that's just my opinion, which is what I assume they were looking for when I was asked to judge. Either way good article. --THINKER 23:29, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

YOU ARE THE THINKERER

How are you doing, you old ego maniac you? ~ 15:48, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

HA, alive and still somewhat functional, amazingly enough. Putting the finishing touches on a new article that I'll be launching today, in conjunction with the promotion of the Facebook group that a couple of the guys started (which I highly recommend you join, as you have now been invited to do so). As pissed as the URL situation makes me, I can't stay away from this damn place for too long. Are you still hoofin' about in Amsterdam?! Why am I not there too!?!? --THINKER 15:58, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildy

---

Christ, 1 AM for these damn things... --THINKER 05:09, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

It took me maybe a year and a half on Uncyclopedia to realize that "thank you" templates are probably the worst thing ever. Guildy will come around soon enough. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:27, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

No, its my fault for having an email notification sent every time this talk page is altered. And they serve a perfectly acceptable function in the community, especially amongst newer users. I'll change my settings tomorrow, after the shift that I should already be sleeping for. --THINKER 05:35, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

'Lo Thinker

I'm pretty much done with the Kosher Nostra article. Got any ideas you can add to it or improvement suggestions? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:18, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Ah, sorry I'm so late on this. GREAT piece! Completely deserved FA, as it was awarded. All is well in the town of Glasgow. --THINKER 15:44, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Aimee Mann

Hey, just had to say loved it. Good work. Pup t 21:53, 30/08/2009

Thanks. I suggest noming it for feature and/or Suggest my next topic of parody. Cheers! --THINKER 04:20, 31 August 2009 (UTC)

Dungeons & Dragons and Dead Links Oh My!

On your user pages User:The Thinker/PLS09 you link to User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Character Races. You might want to know this article is now found at Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition. Thank you for listening. (And no I had nothing to do with the article and don't even play D & D. Just thought you'd want to know!) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:41, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

I think I voted for this on VFH? I don't remember.. Anyway yeah I saw, thank you sir or madam. --THINKER 06:55, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

Think Thank for Brooke Shields

Thank you for voting for Brooke Shields! It's featured Sept. 4, 2009! And see I didn't put my fancy user box here because you asked people not to. :) If you want to put it here it's at User:Miley Spears/Vote Brooke Shields DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Ha, clever clever.. Nice article. I enjoyed the fact that I enjoyed it. Keep writing. --THINKER 03:51, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my soon-to-be featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:37, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

---

Christ, the balls on this guy... --THINKER 22:30, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

It's almost time, you sexy judge you

Poo Lit ends on the 18st. After that, from 19-25rd, you have to judge (leave your choices here by the start of the 26st). Before that, keep an eye on your category. I'm not saying all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. What I'm saying is all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:14, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Apparently I'm a Salty Lass

I think the article that's chilling on my user page is ready to go. I'm not sure I can stand up to your scrutiny, but go for it if you want. --Puffskein 02:22, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Edited, and now its in the front page template. Excellent work. --THINKER 07:31, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. Love the changes. You are way funnier than me. --Puffskein 13:14, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

The article was a good article of it's own accord before Thinker got his hands on it. I'm very impressed that you've come up with such quality on your first attempt. Stand up and be proud. BTW, Thinker, will you be nomming Puffy for NotM? You two seem to have a rapport built prior to this, so I'm happy for you to Nom and I'll simply vote. Pup t 06:29, 24/10/2009

Thanks PuppyOnTheRadio. I wouldn't have even thought to join Uncyclopedia if not for Thinker convincing me. I would have continued to keep my snark in my head like all the other crazy people. It's good to have an outlet for the voices. --Puffskein 02:55, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

You have a snark in your head? I'd get that looked at if I were you... -RAHB 05:35, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Hah, why not? October 1st, I've got a ringer. And RAHB, she's kind of magical. I wouldn't fix what isn't broken when it comes to the snark.. --THINKER 07:06, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Who said anything about fixing it? All I said is that I wanted to look at her snark. It would be beyond my gentlemanly bounds to go any further than that without buying some flowers first. -RAHB 08:12, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

--PS - Don't fret Puffy: I'm funnier than everybody. ;) --THINKER 07:08, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

I wasn't going to fret: You can be funny, and I'll continue to be smarter than 99.99% of the population. --Puffskein 16:17, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

I heard a really scary statistic the other day. Did you know that 50% of the population are below the median average? Pup 03:30, 26/10/2009

There is no response to that stats joke that does not make me look like a huge dork. --Puffskein 18:23, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Adopt a salty lass of a noob

I know the list says you don't want to adopt anyone - but I promise to be low maintenance, and mostly funny. Don't make me an orphan. --Puffskein 16:43, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

With only a penny and bowl of rice a day this child can clean your floors, do your laundry, and other favors.

God, another incestuous relationship waiting to happen.. Let's do it! And also, I'll adopt you! ;) --THINKER 21:55, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

And not just because I have boobs, right? --Puffskein 16:28, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Dear Sir The Thinker:

With all due respect, it hath come to mine attention that thou hast said most publicly that thou art adopting no noob, the current adoption of thine intention being zero in number, meaning none. And yet it seems that a certain lass by the fair nom de plume of Puffskein be seeking to be adopted by one found suitable as an adoptive parent. I did, in good sooth, address such an issue on the young lass' talk page, and I, in fact, have said most publicly that I be willing to adopt a suitable candidate, upon a worthy audition, and, in sooth, the lass Puffskein has duly shown herself a fine auditioner, and thus worthy of my parentage. And now thou hast the affrontery to, in frank and utter violation of all that thou hast sworn in a forum most public, to deign to break thy word and to say thou shalt adopt such a lass? For shame, sir, for shame!

Therefore, I do in all good conscience and full of righteousness challenge thee to be the rightful adopter of said lass Puffstein, and furthermore do I heap upon thee great insults in demonstration of wit and suitability and to show thy wit as most lacking. Therefore I do here and now and in this forum most public name thee a breaker of word, a frivilous changer of mind, a most foul, most odious and most putrid son and heir of a mongrel bitch! Take that, good sir, and cower in thine corner as befits such a downtrodden sot such as yourself may be. Of if thou find thineself worthy of my challenge, then do take it. As honour dictates, I do leave it unto thee to choose the weapons wherewith we may resolve our dispute by a suitable duel.

Yours sincerely,

Commander of the Order of Uncyclopedia and Upholder of the Realm User:Why do I need to provide this? 04:32, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Pup

Well first of all, I don't know where I said I wasn't adopting. I figured someone just changed the page due to my sporadic contributions. Secondly, Puffskein does not need to be adopted by either of us, or anyone for that matter: she's a fine writer, versed in wiki formatting and usage, and has a good sense of humor (essentially all the elements an adoption-needing n00b lacks). So, whatever she wants is fine by me. Not like she can't come to me for help if needed regardless. But I will say this: the fact that she's a female has nothing to do with my interactions with her on this website. Think about how it affects your actions, young sir. And though I'm not certain, I will also say with a sizable degree of confidence that no matter how much you pal around with her, there is very little chance you'll be seeing her tits. That said, everybody polka! --THINKER 06:21, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Why aren't ppl fighting over me anymore? I still have boobies! lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:01, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

HA, I'm not fighting anyone. If I wanted to fight over Puffskein, I should have done it in 2002. This does not, however, mean that I'm not interested in seeing your tits. So, (as long as you are of legal age to do so), show them too me immediately. --THINKER 07:05, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Where I live you can show your tits at any age. Look, I'm exposing them right now! ( . )( . ) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:08, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I don't have to fight over you, Miley. You're my adopted Mommy. Also you're making me thirsty. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  15:21, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Also both those pics are great! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:05, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Gadzools milady. Dost thou not know that I hast a horn with thour name on! Pup

Yes I knew. ;) lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:14, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Puffskein really should let both Thinker and Whyner adopt her cuz that would be funny. Then she could use Puppy's pic! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:20, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I just thought about how long ago 2002 was - damn I'm old. I feel like I'm in Pride and Prejudice but without the Zombies. I should let Whyner adopt me, since Thinker knows I'll bug him no matter what, nothing he can do to stop that. Muwhahah. I promise I'm super low maintenance - I don't need to be fed, or walked, or anything. --Puffskein 14:25, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

I hope I didn't cause some kind of a problem with my tongue-in-cheek challenge. I'll answer people's questions and comments here.

First, yes I would love to adopt Puffskein; that would be great. I would also be perfectly happy to share the adoption with The Thinker, or would be fine with The Thinker doing the adoption. Apparently The Thinker got you, Puffskein, here and you've known each other a long time, and I don't want to interfere with that.

Second, I agree with The Thinker that Puffskein doesn't seem to need the degree of help most noobs need but, frankly, neither did I. I was helped a great deal in the beginning by my "Mommy" Miley, Syndrome, Puppy and others, and there's still a whole lot I have to learn. But I've been editing wikis for 10 years, so I wasn't exactly a true noob.

Third, I want to promote adopt-a-noob because maybe (hope) those who can really use help will utilize it.

Fourth, yes I know Miley (girl) adopted me and now I'm "fighting" to adopt Puffskein (girl). But that's not a boob issue. Miley welcomed me here and was helpful from the very start so I asked her to adopt me, and Puffstein said she didn't want people fighting over her and I noticed The Thinker's entry on Adopt-a-Noob said he wasn't adopting (although he's since explained that wasn't his decision) so naturally that inspired me to "fight." If you'll check my posts, you'll notice the person I've been flirting with here the most is a guy, just because I'm having fun with it.

Fifth, in conclusion I'll go along with whatever Puffskein wants. Let me know, good lass! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  15:18, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, let's revisit this, can we?

Well, I feel strange because I feel a sort of blind-siding here from you. In both cases that you have complained about, I never meant or felt any disrespect or lack of ability to receive criticism. Regarding Plink (I had to go back through your talk page to even know what you were referring to), it appears your issue is with the "every fifteenth drip" thing. In my post to you, I was honestly describing what I was trying to do, and I very explicitly allowed (and I continue to allow) for the possibility that it doesn't work, as you said. In no case is there any half-assed justification for something, just an honest observation. As for Charlie Kaufman, I honestly feel like the Tip template is the best thing to use here, and all I thought I was doing in my response was continuing an intelligent dialog about it. I was shocked to read your angry comment - it's shocking to me that you have carried a disgruntlement over the "fifteenth drip" thing all this time. There is no bullshit here to detect. I'm just trying to do my little part to make this little comedy wiki have the best articles it can. I hope you can revisit your reaction and maybe make the more even-handed assessment that I think my language deserves. And if not, if the fault is in my manner of speaking, then I am absolutely willing to adjust my language toward a better understanding. Thanks. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 06:41, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, after review I did realize that I may have came off a bit harsh, so I do apologize for that. And I just have a good memory when it comes to this place for some reason; I wasn't harboring resentment over Plink. But when I read the comment on Kaufman, it reminded me of the Plink comment -- at the time I didn't even realize it was the same author. When I found out that it was, that's where the Monday-morning quarterbacking assessment came in. And though I may not have said it so elegantly, the core of my charge still does kind of stand: you write an article, it is whatever you want it to be. You make the choices in prose, style, humor, everything. Then, when people (or perhaps just me, I don't know) have something to say about a decision in the piece, the way you spoke in both instances, you were essentially saying "I did it that way for a reason; you're obviously not getting what I'm trying to do." And that very well may be, though I highly doubt it (being THINKER and all). Regardless of that though, clinging to these elements and claiming them as intentional by design, thusly rejecting criticisms altogether on these grounds, comes off as sort of douchey. And in that, it's not you or your critic that loses; the loser becomes the quality of your article, now with possible unrealized potential. So in short, just don't negate the opinions of others so automatically, and just be honest about your reasoning. If you just flat out like the way something is in a piece, you don't have to play the "you don't get it" card; just say "fuck you, I like it the way it is." In fact, I think that's #6 on THINKER's Top 10 Phrases Most Commonly Used While Working with Others. Cheers. --THINKER 22:16, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

God THINKER, why are you such an asshole a beautiful ray of sunshine in this dark, gloomy world we call Uncyclopedia! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:20, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, maybe it's partly my language that's too thin. My intent is to extend the dialog about the issue, not play the "you don't get it" card. But I still fail to see the "you don't get it" message in my Tip template defense - I stated that it may be a matter of taste. Regarding the Plink issue, I think I agreed with you that what I was trying to do didn't work very well. I am not unwilling to take criticism. In the future, I hope you don't take anything else I defend as "you don't get it". I don't do that (unless it's obvious, as when an unreliable narrator is misconstrued, which is easy to pick out, and has never been the issue with your feedback). -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 23:10, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

 There is a featured article beyond all featured articles known to man...  

At the sign-post up ahead... You have just crossed over into... the Thank You Zone. The Global Tourniquet says "Thanks for voting for my featured article"

The Aristocrates

Talk to Guildy, he'll step down for you. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 15:09, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

The Aristocrates

Talk to Guildy, he'll step down for you. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 15:09, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

Right. Well then. -- Also, penis. 18:33, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

M00sha: In STEREO! --THINKER 23:44, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Steppin' on Down

Go on, take your rightful place judging that contest, and whatnot. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:59, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Attention Judgeries!

All turkies are now in the oven. You now have seven days to comply with your judgery duties. Please place all scoring here. If you can't judge for any reason, please let me know on my talk page. Now go and judge, you're wasting valuable time. ~ 18:33, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the Judgery

Thanks for drudgering judging my article; sorry you had to wade through read it. The constructive criticism was good. A special thanks for saying I could be "leagues funnier." Next contest I'll try to be moar clever than just changing the joke from "Aristocrats" to "AristoCatz" to take advantage of a lame internet meme as the central theme of my humor.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  09:57, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

Any time. Glad you took the criticism as it was intended; such an interpretation certainly lends itself to my assertion. Let me know if anything of yours is on Pee Review or VFH, I'll gladly judge it anew. --THINKER 00:06, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

I appreciate that! I'm actually more of an editor than a writer, but that's mostly because (for me) it takes loads more time to start from scratch than to fix an already established piece of work. Having said that though I will certainly let you know if I ever put my work up for review or get nominated for something. Thanks!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  10:42, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Well, I haven't seen you in a while...

But I still think about The Thinker quite a bit.

Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games. Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, ~ Zana Dark

Merry X-mas! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:33, 26 December 2009

Thank you!!

{{User:Hyperbole/thanks}} Thanks for popping your head in to vote for me - that was awesome of you. Hope you come and write some more: I'm a big fan of your work. pillow talk 19:47, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I just realized you didn't want any thank-you templates on this page. Okay, I'll <nowiki> it for you. pillow talk 19:49, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

You deserved it. I meant what I said in the comment. Congratulations on being on a higher plane of funny. And if you use the towels, at least tell the cleaning lady so that she can replenish them! Jesus.. --THINKER 22:02, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

I'M NOT DEAD YET!

BLARGH! I've been swamped by school so badly that I haven't been able to do anything in the way of humor/humour writing (I have TWO term papers due on the same day. THE SAME @#$%ING DAY!!!!). But FEAR NOT! This overwhelmed quasi-noob (been here a while but haven't done much) shall not surrender to the forces of darkness and/or writer's block! --Anakin 19:53, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Dude, RAHB and I are so knee deep in hookers and detergent huffing that for a few weeks, I'd forgotten that I even exist. But its good to know that I do, and that you do as well. Keep me informed about future progress! I'll continue this, stuff... --THINKER 22:04, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

No best article for you?

You removed your name? Why? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 15:31, Apr 24 2010

I think I pissed him off on account of thinking he knows I love him like the gay brother I never had. Thinkerer, will a night with my sister settle the score? ~ 23:46, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Well, today's featured "article" is an example of one reason, and the other is that for the last 2 PLS competitions, I've gone through some bullshit regarding me being head judge. It should be an honorary position by now and pairing that with the site going from maddening to infuriating quality-wise, I rip out my hair and say: what the fuck is the point anymore? You know, I never set out to be someone who followed the evolution of a WOTY that wins and leaves. And had anyone backed the simplest changes in standards implementation, there would've been a need for PLS donations. We'd also probably be on our own domain and have the god damn URL back by now. So I scaled back my involvement to pursue more legitimate endeavors. You'd think that the one time I come around to do the one thing left within my power to impart a bit of comedic quality to the site (besides writing articles that the new generation of users appreciates like they do geometry lectures), and I have to get fucked with. Judge 1. THINKER. Is that so hard? --THINKER 21:33, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

I'll start by saying that I'm as happy as you with today's feature. I'll continue by saying that as much as you are a great writer and won WOTY by all rights, that doesn't earn you the right of being a primadona. Head judge? Honorary position? Come on. You know what? I can argue the opposite and say you know, after 4 years of editing, writing, recording, fixing, banning, deleting and dealing with scores of stupid fucks (and by all means, I don't mean you) and having a measly 15 features, I've earned the right of not being tossed aside by someone else, as good as writer as he may be, as though I was a used rag. As you obviously not following the site very closely let me drop a few names for your convenience. Hyperbole. Puppy on the Radio. DrStrange. Alister in Chains. MacMania. All great writers, all producing top notch material. So let's stop with the generalizing. Bottom line - you earned your place rightfully in the pantheon of Uncyclopedia. Your presence is greatly missed. But you didn't earn the right to come every half a year and demand (non existent) honors and riches under the assumption that you're saving us from total oblivion.

Final point, if I'd known that you'd take it that hard I would have left the bloody nomination as is, it was meant as a jab rather than a whole dramathon. Feel free to put your name on number one with the largest font possible. I won't touch it again. ~ 22:01, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

PLS Judging

I'm sending you this because you signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go then here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles and look at all of the images submitted. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). You, as the judges, have the sole authority to pick losers, winners, and disqualify entries, so please read the PLS rules carefully before judging.

Post your top 5 entries here for all categories except the Best T-shirt Design. For the Best T-shirt Design category just say which ones should be t-shirts and which ones should not be t-shirts.

Hit me up on my talk page if you have any questions and thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! --EMC ^[TALK] 12:54 May 24 2010

High Five right back at you

Thanks for the much more positive than I was expecting review, its my first article so I was expecting to get slammed. Could you suggest anything I could do to improve it after PLS is over? --DougalJabber at me. 14:13, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations on having your first article pass the THINKER gauntlet with relatively few flesh wounds. Glad to see new writers with some talent in them around here.

As for improvements, if you'll refer to my review, I think the most telling portion is the Humor score's comment. You've got a lot of solid wording in there, and it's obvious that you did your homework on the subject at hand. That said, you just need to tweak and distort some of these more fact-heavy passages. Inject a bit more humorous contrast in there. Actually, a good article for you to reference in this case would be my first-choice article for this PLS, salamander. It's got an obviously dry and direct delivery of blatantly ridiculous information. Being that much of your presented information is steeply rooted in fact, you have very fertile ground to plant the seeds of hilario. Besides that, just continuing your efforts to utilize wiki-formatting will help greatly as well (maybe aim a little higher with your image selections, more link-humor, etc). I see great potential in your writing abilities; stick around and I'm sure you'll make your mark. --THINKER 17:43, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Think

Im a quail--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 16:08, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

I am the buffalo. --THINKER 18:11, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hello. I require your aid.

I'm sure you don't remember me. But I expect you remember THE and Leoispotter, two close friends of mine. I am trying to start a movement, and I understand you are not very active, but I need to get the article Unrelated Quote Guy back to life over on Illogicopedia.org. Uncyclopedia's slightly retarded cousin. They deleted poor UQG. And his legend must live on elsewhere, unfortunately, the administration won't let him be moved to a user space. HELP MEEE--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 01:56, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

Not sure there's anything that can be done... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

We are here, the time is now....

You asked to be informed here. I'm going to be sorting the judges out, so if you wish to take part, could you add yourself on the forum - I'll add you to the judges and sort that out. Hope to hear back from you soon baby:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:38, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Roger roger. --THINKER 03:59, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Oh great one...

Just disturbing your great egoistic thoughts to let you know that it's your time to shine as the articles are all locked up and ready for judging. You are best article category and your put your results here (just like before). Good luck:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:56, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

On it --THINKER 12:16, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

If you know what I mean... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Wake up...

It's time to judge the PLS:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:11, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, not really a good look having the judging coincide with the super bowl. I'll have it done by tomorrow. --THINKER 18:12, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, and yeah looking now I've been slack, but I've been working a lot. And again, will be done by tomorrow. --THINKER 18:12, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

What's a Super Bowl - is it like some kind of American obesity sized bowl of Coco Pops?--Sycamore (Talk) 18:17, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

No, it's a "Rugby is exactly the same with better rules and no protective pads" kinda thing. Wankers.. --THINKER 08:48, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hello from la Désencyclopédie.

Hi, people in France are stalking Uncyclopedia, and i've read UnNews:Stuffy intellectuals discover internet memes. Then I stole it. If you want to have a look on it, it's here fr:Désinformation:L'intelligentsia française découvre les memes internet. Kraal - rendez-vous 20:15, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

Greetings. Thank you for taking enough interest in my article to appropriate it for the great country of France. Is it possible to get a "written by THINKER" credit in the source section? I'd much appreciate it, and it'd give me an excuse to link the article on the facebook fanpage. Thank you. --THINKER 04:06, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Done. Kraal - rendez-vous 18:56, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

And done --THINKER 01:14, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

ozone

(slight copy and paste of other thankyou to skinfan) Thanks a lot for the really good review. It was tough but GOOD criticism, I love seeing that. I have to say, the two of you who picked me said two totally contradictory things. You say its super well written but just not funny. Yes, should have a few gut crushing jokes and yes its a little highbrow. It made my academic friends laugh out loud. Though, as for science, I actually know nothing about it. So, I will do my best to dumb it down a bit and add some good punchlines. Its funny cause skinfan says its actually funny but that it really needs copy editing!?!? You two say totally opposite things. But in a really great critical kind of way. So I am left to guess that I should ask someone to copy edit it and I should add a few more punch lines and meditate on it. The variety of opinion! Thanks again for the really nice review! --Shabidoo 22:01, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Greetings, and yes congratulations on your fine entry. Now as you can see from the review, the emphasis on the writing quality is in reference to the intelligence of the writing. However, the density of the thing is where the weightiness lies. I do agree with skinfan; there should be a fair amount of copy editing. That being said, I don't really think there is any need to "dumb it down" in order to achieve your goal. It's about the distribution of comedy within an intelligent framework. Pack in the jokes, copy editing done. And as always, when there is a difference in opinion between myself and someone else, remember that I am THINKER, and THINKER always wins. You're welcome for the review, keep up the fine contributions. --THINKER 04:04, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

You can submit your UnNews to the Pee Buddy Contest!

But you have until midnight UTC time, act fast! The Pee Buddy contest link is on the site header. Mattsnow 05:52, April 30, 2012 (UTC)