User talk:Funnybony/archive6

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All information less important than above goes below[edit]

  1. Archive 1
  2. Archive 2
  3. Archive 3
  4. Archive 4
  5. Archive 5

Correct script format[edit]

Here are “industry standard” Script formatting instructions from Hollywood. THIS is the correct way, the science, how to write a professional script. This is a short script about script formatting by the Industry for the Industry:


Dead Dicks[edit]

Hellollloollloo. Thanks for agreeing to change the name of your page, I'm happy you weren't married to it (till N.Y. Mets do we part). It's both an easier name to go down and alludes to Dick Nixon as a possessive.

Another thing. Check out Alex Jones' vid on my user page, he went into the DMT elves yesterday, it didn't sound like he wanted to at first but did it. And his "people" were right there with all the news headlines and things, they probably loved that he was going bottom-line on the public. Pretty cool semi-rant. Al 18:40 15-6-'11

p.s. ah, your talk page is ultra-long. Some browsers may not be able to handle it, man, they just can't handle the mute.
Damn and clams, I don't know why your page isn't picking up votes by the gallon. It is such a good idea, a metaphor for war and the foolishness of war, that it should be a one-day wonder imnho. Grrrrrrrrr uncy. Al 1:02 17-6-'11
I've come back to your giant talk page to say I've done some tweaking and editing on Dead Dicks (even while holding my own dead dick collection in my hands, I've got one I dug up from the American Civil War). I hope you like/enjoy/tolerate the edits. Remember the good old days of "Tantra"? All's war that ends war. Aleister 2:50 17-6-'11
Yeah, maybe it's, like, too gross. Go figure!? Anyway, good additions. It is a definite Collab now. BTW: Don't stop...Y/bro!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:33, Jun 17
Thanks, and I'll do some more later today (must offline soon). Weird it's going unvoted. And look at your new talk page pic, WOW! Beautiful!!! Al 12:03 17-6-'11


Congrats on your new feature. You are getting so many features that you will have to buy a wheelbarrell to carry those templates around in. I see your intaking Soma. Ummmmmm, soma. And I will get back to Dead Dicks. Probably an expansion on the collection idea, tying in war trophies with "mans inhumanity to man". And women too, but no dicks to harvest there, except when Westmoreland is the hunter. Congrats again! And it is your 20th, a rare platueu. Al 18:52 17-6-'11

I mentioned Soma to Sog, and you too please help to make it work in its new, positive direction. It could be featured in the new 'possible' mode. Thanks for the contrats, I owe a huge amount to you and a great deal to MrN in any successes here in the nut house.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:05, Jun 17

UnSignpost Activate![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

I couldn't find a title for this paragraph.[edit]

But I could find a nice template to thank you.

You might not get in Heaven like I said but you will have some virtual tits and beer as a reward for voting for my article. Enjoy. --Mimo&maxus 09:35, June 19, 2011 (UTC)


I may be around a bit more over the next couple weeks. Unfortunately, I don't even know what soma means. At least I don't have to moderate any more essays though - the highlight was "In conclusion, after carefully considering my reasearch on social neceassity and increasing biological incapabilty, I believe that old people should not be allowed to drive because they're all cunts." --Sog1970 20:30, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Well, those cunts could do with some bloody Soma. I rewrote the entire thing as a Tim Leary Dear Diary rant where he reveals the formula. It's totally different approach, and may be good already. Please take a look...then you will know all there is not to know about Soma. If you can make it better please jump in. If not, and you like it, then how about a VFH nom. That aside, I also believe that old people should not be allowed to drive because they're all cunts. Dude!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:05, Jun 20


Hey Bony, want to help with this rewrite we're working on? Whether it's adding new jokes or fixing up the existing ones, we could do with some extra help. --Black Flamingo 23:23, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Yo bro! I think it's really good now. It's not an article with a start and conclusion. It's just a slice of an inbox list. So it's complete as is. All that can be done more is to extend it longer...but then it's too long, perhaps. Should I Nom it for VFH? I'd be glad to... Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:11, Jun 20
Ooo not yet, but thanks. It sort of needs to be long because I'm probably going to cut loads out. Nice additions from yourself, by the way. --Black Flamingo 19:16, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Timothy Leary's dead?[edit]

No no no no no no, he's outside....looking in. I have to read the UnNews yet. Did you want to join me in writing Corpsearian? I dunno anyone else who could make it as funny and bony as you. It's got a long way to go, and could be a very good page if done right. Whatcha think? Huh, huh, huh? Whatcha think? Come and play if you feel in the mood. (do you know anyone else on the site who's a vegan/vegi or close? I've always disliked those terms, which is why the term Corpsearian came to mind years ago. The Padme thing, I dunno. Is Padme a well-used name or is Natalie Portman's character the only famous Padme? And that Inbox thing, Black Flamingo is going to edit it once it gets top-heavy with bad entries, and only keep the cream of the crops. Now, off to read Leary UnNews! Al 11:29 20-6-'11

Ah, the article. Pretty good, and that's a great opening pic. I didn't know some American pharma mafia company tried to steal the name "Soma"!!! They stop at nothing to disgrace themselves in the eyes of the UnStupid. The page has a great description of a Soma trip, please expand that. The breathing thing made me lolllllolol(ipop), and it could go on and on. More more, maestro. Al 11:46 20-6

Other recent news[edit]

I was looking at the wikipedia main page and noticed their "in the news" page had blurbs. So I added blurbs. Your italicizing was a good edit. I was talking with thehumbucker last night and learned he sees the template as sort of a feature because it is on the front page. But from my perspective, it is little more than a self edited recent articles list found on many of the sub-portals. As the person that does most of the formatting of unnews, he was not always happy with random editors randomly deciding what to put on the front page of the wiki. So. I thought, if it looked more edited (ie with blurbs) people would possibly less apt to go in and whore their or their friend's stories on the front page. I am watching to see what happens. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:29, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Kev! Sure, do it like Wikipedia. Who controls their recent news list on the homepage? Although I'm a long time Wikipedia editor with many articles, still, I never, ever did a single news article. Do you know how they work it?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 06:46, Jun 21
Me too, and I don't know. I imagine it is a lot like we do at UnNews -but with more plagiarism --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:17, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

Pee Review[edit]

Urinating fountain.jpg

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that.

I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

I think it could just use a bit of a clean up. Otherwise good. Jackofspades.png (talk) 00:22, 25 June 2011

Way, to go. I'm already working on it. Thanks for that...--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:33, Jun 25

King Solomon’s Mine[edit]

Whether you believe that King Solomon is a made up character from some whacked-out scripture, or you conclude that he’s a real, historical person who is filthy rich with a bunch of gems and stuff - neither of these issues concern the essence of this article. The essence to which I allude concerns ownership. And King Solomon was, is, and always will be mine. That’s right, King Solomon’s mine.

I don’t mean to imply that he is unable to be yours also, because that is quite possible. But the most important factor in your seeking to make King Solomon your possession too, is seeking my permission. With my permission he could become your possession as well. That’s because I’m not a selfish dick who is unwilling to share my possessions.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:33, Jun 25


Hi, I don't know your Uncy habits at all so I don't know if you follow the replies on your messages, so here's a copy pasta of what I answered to you on my TP. Rockefeller will crumble!

My life's goal has been fulfilled! LOL, I didn't even know this existed (the Hall of Shame). I read some of your articles and they are bood Funnybony, but I had to vote against the UnNews on VFH right how, it was juuuuusssst short. I should have abstained maybe. Anyway, looking forward to read your stuff! We should write some New World Order related articles. (I won't do like I did on the Bohemian Grove article, I actually like Alex Jones) Cheers! Talk Mattsnow 19:06, June 26, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:ICC:Gaddafi could face jaywalking citation[edit]

I added a few quotation marks where it looked as if they were missing. Naturally, when I add them on Uncyc., they go in as dumb quote marks, so I then had to change all of the smart ones to dumb ones for consistency. If you feel I made a mistake with the additions, please revert me.

Also, I added a category. If you scroll down on the Front Page, you'll see Lyrithya and I made an addition that makes it look like WikiNews a bit more. Still working on the details with the location bar, but we're trying to make sure that continent categories go on stories so they get picked up by the DPL and appear in the lists when clicked on. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 14:32, 29 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, dude! It all looks good. Way to go!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:59, Jun 29

The Un-Sigh-npost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

Doomy doomy doomy[edit]

Zim thanks you filthy Earth smellies.
For furthering the destruction free taco day
of Earth! Tacos for all!

Thanks! Jackofspades.png (talk) 06:41, 30 June 2011

Pantsless Thanks[edit]

I've never said hi[edit]

Been here nearly a year, and i've never dropped in here. Uhm...hi. I'm Lollipop. *exchanges smelly, greasy hand* Shake? --Canada, eh? >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 01:40, 1 July 2011

Hey Lolli! Thanks for the greeting. It's people like you who make this a nice place to waste away. Please let me know if you need a collaborator or any help. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:45, Jul 1
I'm currently working on this right now, so we can collab on it. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 07:16, 2 July 2011


Sun8.jpg ...for helping me get my first article featured !!! :) --ShabiDOO 14:25, July 1, 2011 (UTC)

Bohemian Grove[edit]

A 47 stories building crumbles for the hell of it, out of shyness, never to be heard from again.

I don't think you'll like it, since I tried to be Anti NWO at first, but then realized how difficult it would be to be funny while being in line with the conspiracy (which I truly believe, by the way, and I like Alex Jones) so I took the easier way by discrediting Jones... I wasn't too proud of myself for that, it almost got featured, I remember you voted against! I think you'll like better UnNews:Obama: We're not responsible for drones with US Army emblem's actions. I plan in the long run to totally rewrite Bohemian Grove so it is against the NWO while being funny. I am working on one on Rand Paul that bashes the NWO: User:Mattsnow/Rand Paul. Feel free to add ideas to it, it's coming along good. I've read the Amero article, great stuff! I'll read the rest of your conspiracy articles, it would be great if we could find a common subject and work on it as a collab, say: 9/11 Truth That would make a great one, so much stuff to laugh about in the "official version". (I was a part of the 911 truth movement where I live) Talk Mattsnow 00:17, July 2, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Matt, how about these option edit ideas - anything useful?[edit]

The "Creme of Care" erotic ritual at the Bohemian Grove in front of the New World Order's big bird, Moloch.

The Bohemian Grove is a secret closet-gay snob’s resort that means a lot of things to a very few people. For some envious wanna-be aficionados, such as reality theorist, Alex Jones, it is the "Wise Old Owl’s Club,” but for the very, very few insiders it is an upscale gentlemen witch’s den situated in the steamy jungles of Northern California. The Bohemian Grove club house, which is almost invisible, surrounded as it is by glowing neon “Beware of the Owl” signs and heavily armed FEMA guards, is only visited by elitist world leaders, counterfeiters, peeping toms, and soggy-biscuit loving demon worshipers, who all congregate there to plan our future and generally engage in occult rituals such as dressing like hobbits and burning human effigies.

With secretive members who rank highest in the world's food chain, the Bohemian Grove has become a subject intentionally encouraging numerous speculations and stealth trespassing by the less intelligent commoners of the human race. For extreme reality theorists, especially those who suffer from acute inferiority complexes, such as Alex Jones, the Grove is the roof, nay, the temple spire, of all evil and madness that is barfing upon humanity. It is the very Portal to an Over world which is inhabited by owlish forces hell-bent on establishing a New World Order.

Bohemian Grove members only exist to help Moloch control unwanted population growth and establish a fascist autotrophia in which 99% of unlucky mankind (the vast minority) will be financially enslaved by the other 1% of lucky mankind (the tiny majority) through a globalist led “One World Government.” The "Grove" clearly represents the simple fact that 1% of the human race is much smarter than the remaining 99%. In this regard neither Uncyclopedia nor envious reality theorist, Alex Jones, are trying to insinuate anything, but, heads up! It's coming. Very soon.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:54, Jul 2

Hey, mon...[edit]

You know, you make me feel right special something. Thank you. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 08:49, 2 July 2011

Well, Lyrithya, you R special!!!

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:17, Jul 2

UnNews:Porn and kids:How young is too young?[edit]

A fairly well written piece, but it takes a long time to get off the ground. The funny turn in the story doesn't seem to come until just after the line "teaching babies how to breast feed," when you make it evident that you're not worried with them watching porn; you're more concerned with them never being, shall we say, creative with normal childhood objects. I think that, if you cut out some of the foreplay of the story, this could be a great article because as it is, I found it difficult getting to the joke and not losing interest. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:08, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Hummy! I looked again and the intro is subtle, but absurd because of what is being said and discussed in the context of the scene, or somethin' But, dude, if you ever feel like editing any of my articles to improve them please do so and we'll call that a collab between us. I did like that with the previous editors. And we had some collabs to show for it. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything that couldn't, somehow, be improved. You're the right honorable editor, and I'd be proud to have any collab with you... regardless if you change a little or a lot. Be my GUEST editor, bro!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:07, Jul 2
I definitely see what you're doing in the piece, I just felt that it didn't start happening until after that crucial part where the reader asks "Why am I reading this?" As for me editing for this kind of larger-scale stuff, i.e. more than grammar, typos, punctuation, spelling or edits of less than 5 words, I tend to play more hands off and let the author fix things up after I point them out. But if you'd rather I just jump right in, I can do that, too. What we may want to do, then, is userspace this one and fix it up over the next couple of days so it comes back out on top of the news list; it doesn't seem too topical for that to hinder it at all. Your call, though. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 19:57, 2 July 2011 (UTC)
Hummy, by all means. Please play around and make it the best you can. Then put it out there as a collab. It's not topical at all, really, and could be any time. Go for it, dude!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:02, Jul 2


...the new Qadaffi piece.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Sir Mhaille, coming from you that means a lot! Much thanks. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:50, Jul 3

UnNews:Qaddafi Arrest Warrant:African Union tells ICC to ‘bugger off!’[edit]

Yes, I'm back. I replaced your source for this news story with the Original plaque because the link you had took me to the Strauss Kahn source and I couldn't quickly find anything like a source for this AU vs. ICC story. Is this what you wanted? ~ Humbuck.png Talk 17:46, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

Opps! Sorry about that. I put the correct source link now. It's real news, toooooo...--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:59, Jul 3
Most awesome. Also, something that I just thought of... Maybe you could tie your new UnNews story into your one from a couple of days ago. I think there might be gold if you kept this jaywalking thing going, because I don't think Qaddafi is going to be out of the news for awhile. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 18:02, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

The Big Crunch[edit]

I would suggest FB you move the world in a nutcracker image as the lead pic on that page. It will grab a reader's attention quicker in my view. Also the article seems to lack a 'middle' in my view, that's why I can't vote in favour for the moment. Hope all else is well! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:42, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

!HFV no etov ruoy rof sknahT[edit]

.segassem nataS wollof lanimilbus yna dragersid esaelP !sdrawkcab ti daer uoy ,yeH !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD !sdrawkcab egassem siht daer ton oD


Slithy Tove 00:51, July 9, 2011 (UTC)

40th Thanks[edit]

UnNews dates[edit]

Unless there's a good reason to change the dates on an UnNews story, I'll generally leave it untouched (unless someone's obviously trying to keep their piece in the recent news list), particularly in this case; having it listed as the 9th instead of the 10th makes UnNews look more on top of things that we actually are.

Also, I hope that was the first message you left for me in the edit summary - I rarely look at the article's history because not knowing who wrote the piece eliminates that little bit of bias. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 02:56, 10 July 2011 (UTC)

Dead Dicks[edit]

Dead dicks didn't make it! I haven't read your edits yet, but will edit it when I get a long stretch on a computer too, and we can try again. I really love the concept. Still without an everyday computer. Call me sometime when you get a chance and feel like catching up on uncy and other things. I'm in limbo with no access to other limbo's. Aleister 16:17 12-7-'11

The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, July 14, 2011 (UTC)


Hey bro, do you plan on taking part in this tournament? If you want, me you and Oliphaunte could be a great team! Let me know. Here is the message I got:


...this is the greatest opportunity of your life. Summer extravaganza tournament. Teams of 2 or 3 users. Lasts month of August. Tournament wont be the same without you. Don't be an outcaste. CHECK IT OUT. Talk Mattsnow 17:23, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

Nah! But thanks for the invite. Although I do look forward to more collabs with you. Specially Amero (which concerns the North American Union), which could effect Canada, too. I already laid a groundwork on that if you want to add the Canadian view (looking down). I live in Thailand. But the NWO reaches here as well, it seems. Check THIS link for latest BS in the Endless Summer Land.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:41, Jul 14
Here, it is more subtle, the people are sleeping. There are no needs for coups: all political party are the same on important stuff (the war and military spending) It seems a little rougher in Thailand... Do you go on IRC sometimes? What's your name there? And I'll check out the Amero article for sure. Talk Mattsnow 18:23, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

House Neopowell Salutes You[edit]

Since you voted for Game Of Thrones and got it put into the feature queue, you are officially awesome. Thanks very much. Holy Shit It's Neonazi powell 09:38, July 20, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

You just wrote an UnNews![edit]

Now go vote. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 15:25, 27 July 2011 (UTC)

More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

==User:Mattsnow/The 9/11 Commission Report

Well, I won't be able to for a week, since we have that competition going! Let's see afterwards bro, I am positive we'll collab on some NWO topic soon, as BOhemian Grove was so fun to work on! :) But if you could come up with small advices and ideas on the aforementionned article (it's almost finished, and quite lulzy already in my view, it would be sooo appreciated. Just small pointers and ideas for inspiration, if you can! and what do you think of it so far, in a nutshell? Peace and ttyl! Talk Mattsnow 19:53, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 11, 2011 (UTC)


For the feature! I knew this would work, even though it took some time! About the 9/11 article, please don't write anything on it, I was just looking for a quick suggestion! Paece! Talk Mattsnow 15:20, August 11, 2011 (UTC)


Hi Funnybony. I checked and saw you were blocked for spamming Zombiebaron's talk page when he requested no more thank you notes. Talked to ZB on IRC. I trust you do return but will understand if you want a break. I can also be reached at my hotmail account too as you know. Best! --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:03, August 14, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Romy, thanks for the note. Oh, did Zombie request something? I really had no idea. I usually thank people for voting on my articles and I never saw any request from him. If I usually thank people it would not be nice to stop now. Most of our old friends are gone - driven away by the petty drama-queens. As much as anyone here I consider Zombie to be a friend, and his actions to be a joke - after all. Why should anyone take offense? It doesn't equal anything. But thanks for the concern. I hope you like John Belushi - you are one of the people here who understands my type of humour. Best wishes, Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:45, Aug 15
NO, NO, people are doing it all wrong. Here I've put together a proper guide for dealing with issues on the website. Won't you people ever learn? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I like to flounce at least once a year. Haven't had time to add your new story to the UnNews templates yet. Will do if noone else does this evening. --mAttlobster. (hello) 14:16, August 15, 2011 (UTC)
Cheers, Matt!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:35, Aug 15


Rocka rocka rocka. We gotta feautre. You were also lucky enough to get a little ban for 6 as puppy said "normal people stuff". Viva las cosas de gente normal!!!!!!!!! Why don't you come up with a new idea for a colab? --ShabiDOO 22:29, August 14, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Shabi. Writing here IS "normal people stuff". Do you think that writers here are special, notable people? Don't kid yourself. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:50, Aug 15 normal people stuff, I think puppy (and me as well) mean, non-weird geeky freaky internet stuff that you wouldnt tell just anyone that you do (especially not on a first date). --ShabiDOO 19:14, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
Hi ShabiDoo, Sure, collab, but please take a look at all my article list on my user page and note the ones that have not been marked as FA. I have at least 30 articles, which you can work on and can be featured. Out of a total of 430+ articles and news at least 10% are feature worthy. So I still have a lot that can be perfected. Not the least of them is this huge guide of some 18 pages called HTBAFANJACF That is near feature worthy, but has not been featured. If you want to make it ready for VFH that would be a good and educational venture. And a collab. Please take a look. I haven't voted much lately because the articles coming up in the last couple weeks have been mostly embarrassingly childish. And if you say the wrong thing here then people will vote against regardless how good - it's a form of punishment. Where have all the good writers like Sog gone? Tut tut!!. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:04, Aug 16
At least I'm not dead ... yet.--Sog1970 19:41, August 17, 2011 (UTC)


I see from the random chatter of magpies that you have 430 articles. Your uncy contributions could be studied in a college class (and should be, actually). Are 500 articles possible? Does God have a tail? The last time anyone here had 430 articles all by themselves was that guy named IP, who kept writing about his sexy neighbor or his latest erection. Subjects you have covered much better. Congrats on this extraordinary thing you have done. Kites to you. Al 18:01 16-8-'11

AWESOME!!! BRO, DON'T LEAVE, PLEEEEESE!!! HERE IS INVASION OF THE BABY SNATCHERS...SOG, AL, ALL GONE!!! YAAAAA!!! - How's your computer working? Great to hear from you. My FAV.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:04, Aug 16

Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 18, 2011 (UTC)



You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of August 2011. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

How you don't have twice the number of featured articles under your belt is beyond me, but that is probably in no small part to the amount of featured articles that you have been party to in collaboration with others. That to me reflects the true nature of what this website is all about. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Really, that is much appreciated. I'm going to put on the TOP of my user page. Again, thank you.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:18, Aug 18
hurah hurah hurah ROCK AND ROLL FUNNYBONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 15:41, August 18, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks, Shabi! Hey, I have a LOT of good articles you could round up and finish. It beats starting from scratch when I have 30 almost ready. Please take a look at the list on my Userpage and see if anything strikes your fancy. Let me know. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:21, Aug 18

Your Assad page, a Puddle of shit[edit]

Hello! Loved your Assad page. I've done some editing on my Puddle of shit, which is on VFH and needs your vote like Mike Tyson needs a donut (he's actually skinny now, and a vegan!!!). Please see the addition near the bottom "And then there's this..." which kind of gives a kick in the pants to some kickable history. Vote now and beat the crowd! Give me a phone call this weekend if you have time, afternoon or late morning my time, it would be good to catch up to you. The TSA is sticking things in my pants, I must sign off. Al 18:40 19-8-'11

Al, bro! Honestly I hate that shit page. I'm ashamed of Uncyclopedia for even considering such a horrible article. I don't think you wrote that. It already has enough votes... so I won't vote against. IT'll be featured and I'll be hiding my face in shame. Okay, I'll try to call. I've also been having PC problems since Thursday and am only partially back up. How about you? BTW: Did you see the award I got from Mhaille? I would gladly trade it for his FOR vote on any of my articles. Are you back on track with you PC now? I still have no Photoshop and some other problems to get fixed. More soon. Cheers bro!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:54, Aug 19
Ah, Puddle of Shit is a wonderful page, full of detail and loving prose in honor of one of the purest things on earth. Naw, it was a VFD save, and then I kept improving it. The section near the bottom, "And then there's this..." is now the "punch line" of the whole page. Read that and be amazed! Still PC problems. Mhaille's award is one of the best on the site, it's an honor to receive it! I'm going to work on that thing we spoke of a year ago, wikipedia releated. And I'll look at the VFH's to see if you have a new one. But there is nothing on VFH (or VFD either) that can compare to a puddle of shit, for sure! Al 15:13 20something-8-'11

A little thing[edit]

I just nommed Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Alien denies Al Gore threat they plan to enforce carbon tax INCREDIBLE!!! Talk Mattsnow 22:47, August 20, 2011 (UTC)

And a bonus video for your great writing!
Critical thinking at its finest.

Talk Mattsnow 22:56, August 20, 2011 (UTC)

Wonko tiddlybum-post[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:08, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

Olympian Thanks[edit]


Tried your email a few weeks back. Did it arrive? Still can't rouse myself to start writing articles again for some reason --Sog1970 20:44, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Sog, yeah. Honestly it has progressively gotten worse and worse where I can hardly even relate to the incredible amount of childish time wasting and lame-subject articles - along with an abundance of kids who think shit jokes are funny - it's gotten overrun with children - a kids Wikipedia. I have lots of good articles and occasionally write a meaningful news. Otherwise I'm back to Wikipedia SS well as numerous other websites I have and groups etc. Loads of other stuff. Here all our old friends have faded away, and after 450 articles I paid my dues. No I didn't get any email. Write me at and I'll send you more info... Wasss up?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:31, Sep 8
I have tried again, let's see if the email gets there this time. Otherwsie, try Actually, I'm not sure why I can't be bothered to write aything (tired of recycling the same 5 ideas endlessly, perhaps). It's abit more disturbing that I can scarcely raise the enthusiasm to read articles on VHF though. --Sog1970 19:40, September 11, 2011 (UTC)


Foo, the silly poop is ruining it for all of us, innit? I've considered both of you to be some of the best writers, not because of how much you do, but how good it tends to be. Losing that is a real shame, but then again, folks trying to amuse only themselves tends to do that, drive off others. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 21:42, 8 September 2011

Hi Lyrithya. Perhaps the age limit here should be raised all the way to 7. This place is becoming so lame. And UnNews is becoming a fucked-up play-pen for tots. Too bad the ass holes drove away Spike - he was a real quality-control editor. The Spike era was a zenith - now its worse than Tripoli, without water or power and crawling with terrorists. Children and terrorists simply MUST be supervised. Now any jerk who wants to write some dumb retort on my talk page can prove my point--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:14, Sep 9
Man, Spike was amazing... without him around, not only does the crap stay in the content space, but the overall quality just goes down without his little touches... right bloody shame. And meantime people won't even let me ban users for being dicks anymore even when one of the rules still clearly states it ain't acceptable... *grumps* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 14:01, 9 September 2011
Yes, dear! You are also amazing. A few amazing people here. But before, the admins were way too tight, now they are way too loose. And as a result of immaturity and heavy handedness UnNews is a ship with a broken rudder, a captain-less ship, that NO high-quality person is willing to edit because the admins are too tough AND too loose, and, in some cases, just emotional retards. Now Wikipedia is getting their shit together again because of losing many good writers, also because of bad politics. In fact many Wikipedia editors are dickheads who fancy them selves to be the ego-busters-from-hell. If they can't be in Wikipedia, than neither can anyone else, and because of these types of ass holes a lot of people - including me - stopped writing for Wikipedia. But they lost a LOT of good people... so now they are becoming more user-friendly. Uncyclopedia is the toy Wikipedia, so I suggest we continue to mimic our source by adopting more quality control with a velvet glove. That is preferable to now, with an iron glove and no quality control. Otherwise it just becomes a dump for morons and will become worthless, like Myspace. As an admin you could talk to the others. Any admins who are emotional retards should resign (like those who drove away Zim and Spike), and the good (even-tempered) admins need to get their butts in gear. That's my advice. Stay well!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:44, Sep 10
Some are too tight, some are too loose... overall fluctuates by who is more active, I guess, and I would still stand by that there is very little accountability for anyone, which is not a good thing. Standards, having actual standards would help, but does anyone listen to me? Apparently not. Whenever anyone does try something it's just like, OH NO! DRAMA! Nevermind the admins, though... we don't need them. We really don't. Seriously, if we just handle things ourselves, actually handle them, that might show folks. Might. Worth a try? Maybe? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 15:41, 10 September 2011

Unsolicited message from beyond the grave[edit]

I’m not sure how to start this so I’ll blabber on in multiple directions with the aim of leaving you mystified and disinterested before you finish reading this textual garbage that confronts you. Anyways, my bothersome rant is about the UnNews which you may have already given up, on but I’ll rant in the onwards direction regardless. Oh, where are my manners, I’m Haunted Undies, let’s embrace hands in a non-sexual manner to initiate greetings.

Disclaimer time - OK, I’m happy to admit I’m new here and am relatively oblivious to the golden SPIKE era you speak of but I thought things were relatively well done under the evil reign of the Humbucker. However, since his bitter departure, I lost interest in doing the UnNews (not that I was any good at it), mainly due to the foul smell that lingered in the air from all the freedom fighters and their new found rights to roam around the site devoid of journalistic responsibility and pants. At first, I found it hilarious to sit back and watch the sinking ship that was the UnNews, (in particular, the template), content in the fact that I was no longer going to play a part in its descent. However, as time rolls on I’m beginning to realize the childishness of this attitude and have come to the point where I believe something needs to be done. I’m also aware that my writing efforts have been rather garbage-esque and full of racism and toilet jokes which you hate, yet I felt that writing alongside veterans such as yourself and others was a great learning experience and only serves improve less quality jerks like myself as I learnt a great deal from copying your jokes…errr. I mean…writing style.

So ahh yeah, the reason for the aforementioned ranticulation is to pose the question “Whacha gonna do with a drunken sailor?” And by that I mean, the UnNews. I get the impression you’re about to abandon ship and given recent occurrences I’d say “fair enough”. However, this does little to benefit anyone for two reasons. One; UnNews remains infected. Two; you’ll regret all the wasted hours you spent writing with nothing to show for it except memories of a dead website which you used to love.

Bored yet? I certainly am. To prevent further ranting, I’ll get to my point. I’d like to know your thoughts on how to better the situation, given you have seen how it’s done the right way and the wrong way. My personal opinion is we need to create some sort of unofficial posse/crew/gang or super happy friends club to not so much ‘lord over’ the UnNews, but to keep it updated and well guided (to some set of simple journalistic and formatting guidelines we can agree on), a type of peer pressure of quality set up type thingamajig. I envision this would involve having a more prominent and active Newsroom in which to discuss bitch fights and deal with article whoring (a philosophical problem in my opinion). Whether this comes in some sort of user affiliation group where members have to abide by certain guidelines or in a more official role remains the object of discussion. I also like to think certain members of said posse could have different roles (but not limited to) like proof readers, template and main page updating or loudmouth editor with moustache and coffee stained teeth and canary yellow shirt who yells at everybody. I for one would like to be mild mannered reporter Klark Cent and you can be my crack whore partner Enal Siol, mild mannered reporter who can’t spell her own name.

Anyways, I’d like to hear your thoughts as this would greatly encourage me to write some more UnNews again, which I loved doing. A sense of direction may also help you regain enthusiasm instead of en-quit-iasim. So err. Whadayathink? I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 14:32, September 10, 2011 (UTC)

Mattsnow has agreed to help checking the new UnNews for more obvious crap - while it's not much and he tends to go really easy on everything, it's a small step in the right direction, and with both of your helps, perhaps you could indeed set up something more official-like, but even with just doing more in general, maybe there really is hope. Anyway, you may want to try coordinating with him. The more folks interested in actual quality control (as opposed to ego-blowing), the better, right? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 15:20, 10 September 2011
SOLUTION: UnNews needs ONE REAL EDITOR, with full authority to delete any damn thing he/she wants. Like with Zim, and then Spike, and then Humbucker. But their rightful authority was undermined by a few envious jerks and/or emotional midgets. Those people who drove away Zim, and then Spike, and then Humbucker, can kindly hand-over REAL authority to a qualified and willing EDITOR, and then get a grip on their childish emotions and get the fuck out of the way. It's that simple. No half-way editor. A full-on EDITOR will full and independent authority. There can not be two editors. No way. If Matt wants the job then give him full authority. I won't work with 'two' half-ass editors at once, and I won't contribute in the same place as totally inane-immature-childish crap. So get an editor and give him real authority. I'm not going to hang around anarchy. Let me know.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:25, Sep 10
Mattsnow's not really an editor, so we'd still need on of those anyway. What about you, how would you like the job? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 21:15, 10 September 2011
I agree with you about the benefits of one main editor for the purpose of consistency and control. However, perhaps what drove off the previous editors was the sense of pressure, isolation and feelings of having the whole wiki against them, even though it was just a few self centred jerks. Maybe it requires a main editor with the backing of a goon squad of regulars to back him/her up when the ego’s roll into town. This goon squad could also be responsible for helping n00bs or infrequent contributors with their articles; as opposed to ignoring them and hoping they go away. With Mattsnow, he’s a great guy and writer, but he’s way too nice to be in total control. Who then? It seems like all the good writers are packing their bags and leaving for bigger and better things and I’m afraid if we start a forum to find someone all the shit kickers will come out of the closet again. Hmm. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 22:52, September 10, 2011 (UTC)
Hi Lyrithya and HU, I have more full-time employees working than Uncyclopedia has writers, so I would look pretty damn stupid taking on a job. Over at HowTo: RabbiTechno was the editor, and he featured stuff, deleted staff, and was the editor. That is what is needed for UnNews. So until you get a permanent editor with full authority for now one of the admins needs to lord it over. A lot of shit by beginners and other kooks should never even get published (should be deleted immediately). And there should be strict control over recent news content on the homepage. Which means everyone - including prima donnas - should be hands off the recent news except one person - an admin - until you can find an editor to give full control. Every publishing deal on earth has an editor in control. So please have an admin take temporary control and create an inviting standard to attract a qualified free-labour editor. Otherwise its a goddamn embarrassing madhouse. As far as I'm concerned I was perfectly happy with ZIM. He should never have been shit on; same for Spike and Hummy - they were shat upon. So who is doing all this shitting? Must be shitty people! A rule in business is when you find an able and willing laborer, don't shit on them. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:29, Sep 11


Well, you can't blame a girl for trying. So... yes. Someone in charge, and folks backing up... to the point where that someone can go off who knows where without having to worry about it, for the back-upers will take care of things, yes? Am I being overoptimistic? I mean, who in tarnation would do that? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 00:12, 12 September 2011
An admin, like Rabbi was IC of HowTo:, like ZIM was IC of UnNews. Maybe beg Zim to take the job again? - you can't blame a girl for trying. The unfortunate part of the job is having to read all the submissions, many of which are painfully immature and inane and I hate reading them. But it has to be an Admin, because it's an admins' job to do it. Only an admin would hold any authority. PLEASE BEG ZIM, he's worth begging for, he was good. Lyrithya, you're a lovely person, really. Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:31, Sep 12