User:Arthur/FARTERPAGE

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Why hello Officer. It is always a pleasure to meet a high ranking official from the Federation.

Are you Elim Garak?

At your service. I was very curious why it is I have been asked to meet you. But let us first enjoy pleasantries. Do not let my sly grin and murderous stare alarm you – I am not a threat.

Inspector McGinley – Federation Chief Investigator. I'm here to ask you a few questions.

Oh it is a shame we must skip the polite greetings. Well Chief Federation Investigator, ask away, I have nothing to hide. I am merely plain, simple Garak, at your service.

In light of several crates of evidence, the Federation has the authority to question you. Regardless of how it may seem, all my questions are relevant to the case. First, what is your current profession?

I'm glad you asked. I am ... a tailor. (Full article...)

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In the news

Never Say Never Going Back

Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA (Pictured)
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- Just give the Chiefs the 3-peat already, it's inevitable..
Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires
NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break
The Ohio State wins skibidi championship rizz (Pictured)
- In an alternate universe, Notre Dame wins and saves us all from this monstrosity
Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to.. y'know
Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop
TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours.
Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025)
David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate
Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game; backups tush-pushed out of playoffs
Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes
Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card
California's real estate market is on fire... literally.
- And in shambles.
- Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects
South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game
Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice
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Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100
Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump
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Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants • The Grammys • Saturn Awards

Recent deaths: Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • Marianne Faithfull

Upcoming deaths: TikTok, for real this time • The Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl win hopes • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

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On this day in history

February 5: Peyton Manning Does Everything Day

1066 - Peyton Manning, king of Normandy, conquers England.
1152 - Peyton Manning almost makes it to Super Bowl -DCCCXV, but he loses the AFC Championship after getting sacked five times by the Frankfurt Galaxy's linebacker Frederick Barbarossa.
1215 - Peyton Manning thinks up the concept for the Magna Carta.
1492 - Peyton Manning sails the ocean blue.
1776 - Peyton Manning leads the Continental Army across the Delaware River in an assault on Trenton, New Jersey.
1813 - Peyton Manning is exiled to Elba.
1860 - Peyton Manning signs the Emancipation Proclamation before Abraham Lincoln could.
2014 - Peyton Manning finally retrieves wild snap he missed on first play of Super Bowl.

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Did you know?

... that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? (Pictured)

... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?

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Today's featured lists

Featured today a long time ago[edit | edit source]

Passive–aggressive behavior, featured on 5 February 2019: Featured version
Papyrus, featured on 5 February 2018: Featured version
UnBooks:The Brothers Karamazov, featured on 5 February 2013: Featured version
George W. Bush, featured on 5 February 2007: Featured version
VCR Manual, featured on 5 February 2006: Featured version

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Today's featured picture

Bad Puns are still cheesy, even in French...

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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