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Today's featured article

Are you the kind of person who is interested in telling other people what to do? Easily swayed by religious texts? Have an itchy trigger finger and a fondness for big red buttons? Do you have a pulse? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you might be the kind of person who'd enjoy being President of the United States! It's true, just about anybody can be President. The guy pictured on the right is no more qualified than your milkman or some random guy on the street, yet he made it to President and is having the time of his life. That could be you! Becoming President will not be easy though, so this handy guide is here to help you every step of the way. (Full article...)

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In the news

Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son

Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured)
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church
Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans
New Easter Bunny is a fascist

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom

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On this day in history

May 6: No Pants Day

1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Renaissance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke.
1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranates makes the first use of pie charts in known literature.
1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill.
1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also pass the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot.
2001 - During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to run naked inside a mosque.
2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby.

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Did you know?

... that Richard Nixon really just wanted a Magnavox Odyssey?

... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
...that your fly is unzipped?
... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that torture is better to give than to receive?
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?

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Today's featured lists

Featured today a long time ago[edit | edit source]

UnNews:Our Great Leader Kim Jong-un brings even more prosperity to us glorious North Koreans, featured on 6 May 2012: Featured version
HowTo:Frighten small children, featured on 6 May 2011: Featured version
UnNews:Things that have been done to Christians but would never be done to Muslims show sharp year on year increase, featured on 6 May 2010: Featured version
History of Google, featured on 6 May 2009: Featured version
UnLegends:The Land Where The Sun Shines Not, featured on 6 May 2008: Featured version

Recent articles[edit | edit source]

Today's featured picture

The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.

Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
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