NPR

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Not to be confused with National Pubic Radio, a nudist radio station.

NPR, ineptly named New Pimp Reichstag, is a national public radio network. The name comes from the NPR’s early history. The name was chosen by the network’s founder, White Chocolate—perhaps the most famous Nazi pimp in history, preferring it to "National Pubic Radio". The network was originally established in 1941 to convince the United States to surrender. The networks mission statement is “To make the U.S. recognize the righteous glory of the New Reich and join hands with her Nazi brothers in humiliating surrender before we are all destroyed by the machinations of destiny.” The network’s nonstop Nazi propaganda permeated the mind of America, and many tuned in because it was at least less racist and pro Nazi than Benny Hill, a popular radio show of the time. White Chocolate was dismayed when the U.S. did not promptly surrender when Japanese battleships entered Pearl Harbor.

On December 7, 1941 White Chocolate said good bye to his prostitutes. The next day his body was discovered impaled on top the Washington Monument, a smile on his lips, a Post It note stuck to his jacket. It read “You will all die soon! The Fuhrer will have no mercy. Idiocy is your sickness; slow torture will be your cure. Your bodies will stack high on war pyres. I will be remembered as the lucky one.” His widowed prostitutes petitioned the President with their breasts. They said “Let his body rot up there. Don’t let that asshole have a funeral.” Franklin Roosevelt agreed, and White Chocolate’s body remains on top of the Washington Monument. Hilariously the United States defeated Germany three years later. Whoops.

NPR’s Continued Mission[edit | edit source]

The New Pimp Reichstag continues to bring you quality Nazi propaganda, poetry, folk music, folk music news and the news, with a decidedly humanistic slant. Further, NPR is looking forward to the "End Days," brought about by American incompetence, with informative reports relating to the return of the one true savior...Hitler. Through these darks times, NPR prides itself in staying true to one of its founding values, "NPR, we force [on] you [what] to think...at gunpoint...in bed".

NPR is the only media circuit not owned by the Vermin that populates corporate radio, television, newspapers and the internet. Unencyclopedia is NOT and I repeat NOT a Pro-Semitic source, however the edits are made by a...JEW.

Shows[edit | edit source]

  • Morning Wood
  • Pledge Drive
  • Click and Clack Rock Cars
  • Pledge Drive
  • Wait wait...Oh, God, Don't Stop! Don't Stop!
  • A Prarie Whore Companion
  • Free NPR tote bag with your pledge of 125 dollars
  • Monster Truck Monster Devestation Traffic News
  • Folk Music at 10:00
  • Folk Music At 11:00
  • Nazi Weather Forecast
  • Pledge Drive
  • Ikea Commercial Power Hour
  • Drinking with Tony Danza
  • Folk Music!
  • All Things Bongsidered
  • Eastern European Folk Music
  • Its Still Not Too Late: Bow Down Before Your Nazi Overlords
  • The Fetish Connoisseur
  • Pledge Drive
  • The Diane Reims Impending Death Show
  • This Anti-American Life
  • Selected Shorts: A Celebration of the Short Pants
  • Yummy Yams! Cuisine from Around the World
n p r NPRNational Public RadioThe Writer's AlmanacGarrison KeillorA Prairie Home CompanionCar TalkURSA