UnNews:Man goes to zoo, delivers speech about elephants
Thursday, April 24, 2025
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San Diego Zoo, CALIFORNIA -- American software engineer and entrepreneur of the Internets Jawed ("Jared" with a speech impediment) Karim began delivering a speech about elephants this fine afternoon on a visit to the San Diego Zoo. The speech, directed towards nobody in particular except a handheld Nikon camera, was described by bystanders as "mildly informative".
"Now what's interesting about these guys", Karim began, gesturing vaguely at a small gathering of elephants, "is that they have really, really, really long trunks". This statement, while factually correct, sparked a moment of deep contemplation among nearby tourists. One anonymous tourist promptly asked Karim, "how long is too long?" after a brief period of consideration. Karim reportedly started into the middle distance for several seconds before responding with, "That's what she said".
According to eyewitnesses, Karim concluded his remarks by shrugging and saying, "That's pretty much all there is to say", before returning the camera to its original position and offering it a brief, knowing glance. Our UnNews correspondent claims to have witnessed the camera nodding back. Several children in the vicinity began imitating elephants after Karim's speech came to a close. "I, too, am interesting!" one child proclaimed.
The elephants, meanwhile, remained oblivious to their growing philosophical relevance. All except for one, possibly Larry, who flared his ears and shat decisively. "Don't mind our Larry", said the nearest zookeeper, cautiously trying to emerge from the rambunctious crowd. "He's just in a more excited mood than usual. Happens all the time whenever some bugger mentions trunks too many times in a row".
Sources[edit | edit source]
- David Lee "‘Me at the zoo': 18-second video filmed at San Diego Zoo launched YouTube 20 years ago today" NBC4 Washington, April 24, 2025