Ingerland
 | This article may be Overly British |
“ING-GER-LAND, ING-GER-LAND, ING-GER-LAAAND….ING-GER-LAND, ING-GER-LAND, ING-GER-LAAAA-AAAND”
“Cym on thaen, Ic will taceth thou ealle on, thee weancre! Anglaland! Angleland!”
Ing-ger-land![edit | edit source]
Ingerland, sometimes written as ING-GER-LAND for emphasis, is an ancient and noble way of life created by Germanic tribesmen upon their application for a work visa in Britain. They never left.
History[edit | edit source]
Ingerland is the ancient war cry/martial art of the English. Much has changed about English culture, language and religion since they were first invited to the British Isles by those lovely Welsh chappies after 400AD. However, certain things have remained consistent throughout the ages, such as hatred of the French (although this seems to be mirrored by all nations and people who have so much as heard of them), love of Tikka Masala (since 623AD), excessive drinking leading to excessive violence, and the most treasured cultural possession of all...INGERLAND! Women are not allowed to say Ingerland, as it is believed it makes them infertile. The Guardians of the ancient Ingerland are now called hooligans. They have been cherishing this holy word for generations, acting as a cultural vanguard that will never allow this part of our past to be forgotten.
Science?[edit | edit source]
Scientists believe that the slurred talentless yelling coupled with the extra syllable (ER) between the ING and the LAND adds more power to those who invoke it's name. The only way scientists can even think about explaining it to thickos reading a wiki article is that for an Anglo Saxon male to sing ING-GER-LAND with no rhythm, with arms pointed upwards, whilst drunk and bordering aggressive/sexually predative, is much like Popeye eating spinach. Renewed strength and vigour seem to wash over all those who call out this ancient and far maligned incantation, with many attributing previous English and British victories to the power of the war cry/martial art.
Martial Art??[edit | edit source]
“Those who live by the Ingerland, die by the Ingerland”
Ingerland is also referred to as a martial art. This is because it's not just an incantation that awakens the old Gods of England and fills their Anglo Saxon children with near superhuman strength...it is a way of life. Controlled experiments and studies have shown that and Englander will fight in a completely different style to what he would when he has combined alcohol abuse with "Ingerland", which they are unable to replicate when sober. Technically, some would argue that this is not a martial art as they are handed down from generation to generation through formal teaching methods. All that is required to perform the rite of Ingerland is Anglo Saxon blood and the will to cause harm.
Olympic Aspirations???[edit | edit source]
In 2004 the Olympic Committee accepted Ingerland as an Olympic sport, and also believe this is the only time England may have invented a sport that they can play without being beaten by the Southern Hemisphere types.
Other incantations to be said in conjunction with the Ingerland[edit | edit source]
- "I'm England 'til I die! England 'til I die": a moving and sentimental chant.
- "Come on 'en you cunt, I'll bite your fucking face off": increases strength.
- "Keep St George in my heart keep me English, keep St George in my heart I say, Keep St George in my heart keep me English, keep me English til my dying day": again, another incantation exploring the depths of nationhood. However, the English are masters of irony (unbeknown to them) as St George never so much as set foot in England.
- "No surrender, no surrender, no surrender to the IRA": a chant used to give cause offence to Fenian bastards.
- "If it wasn't for the English you'd be krauts...If it wasn't for the English you'd be krauts…": a ballad of almost bardic proportions, carefully detailing the role the Englishman and Ingerland had in previous |European territorial disputes.
