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41,053 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...

Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?

Archive – Suggest new entries

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"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!" Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths*: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy* (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
Today sucks because...
February 22: International Day of Spam 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha. 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists. 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you. 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks. 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals. 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's featured artistry

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.

Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,053 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Farts!:

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Babel:Em

Welcome to Emopedia,

Today's Message of pain

Did you care...

Recent deaths

Today sucks because...

Today's featured artistry

edit
Newest MySpace friends

Poets of the Month

Navigation menu

Babel:Em

Welcome to Emopedia,

Today's Message of pain

Did you care...

Recent deaths

Today sucks because...

Today's featured artistry

edit Newest MySpace friends

Poets of the Month

Navigation menu

Search

edit
Newest MySpace friends