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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
41,161 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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January 11: Alexander Hamilton Day
- 1569 - English merchants propose a national game by which the poorest of society freely and willingly give their money to the rich with no hope of a reward; they call it a lottery.
- 1755 - Alexander Hamilton (Pictured), financial elitist, slave owner, serial adulterer and father of Wall Street, is born to a whore and a Scotsman; inspires overpriced musical for bougie liberals.
- 1879 - The Zulus defeat one British Redcoat unit with eleven Impi spearmen, British cry "no fair!" and reload save.
- 1922 - The first patented Diabetes treatment, a pair of rusty pliers used to excise the parts of the tongue that taste sweetness, is introduced to the general public.
- 1946 - Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha builds 750,000 bunkers not to keep Capitalist invaders away, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
- 2015 - Lin-Manuel Miranda is sentenced to hell for making a black guy dress up as Thomas Jefferson, which is like, three layers of wrong.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,161 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em!:
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