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Freedom is an abstract concept invented by American politicians who needed a word that could convince people to let them do whatever they wanted and still get reelected. In its most basic form, freedom means everything people in America love, and everything people outside of America – especially terrorists, communists, and the French – hate. Let's say, for example, that I approach Martha Barlow, an American housewife with two children, as she pulls a warm apple pie out of her oven and ask her what she thinks of freedom. She'd probably say it's pretty darn great! In the next room her husband Joe, tired after a long but rewarding day at the office, is watching a baseball game and eating a TV dinner. Asked how he felt about freedom, he'd probably also say it's pretty darn great! Now, let's go next door to their neighbor's house, where the Gilberts, two French Muslim lesbians, live. Ask them about freedom, and what would they say? "Why, being French, Muslim, gay, and also socialist, which the sexy, sexy narrator previously failed to mention, I hold in my heart an unrelenting disdain for freedom, and I hope, but not pray because I'm also an atheist, for the day in which all the world is ruled by a single, oppressive communist regime. Now, if you'll excuse me, my partner and I need to go dress up in our maid outfits so we can engage in hot, godless, kinky lesbian sex." Mmmm, yeah. (Full article...)
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