Gangsterphrenia

“Don't be dissin cause I can freestyle better than you snowflake! My shit iz off da hook!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Gangsterphrenia

Gangsterphrenia is a mental disorder that spreads through either bad up-bringing or through lack of education or plain tardness. It affects mostly the white-coloured people belonging Canada, United States and all of Europe races and of increasing incidence whites. Whilst originating in New Zealand, they have the unstoppable urge to act "Gangsta", a side-effect of the disorder. Other countries where this disorder is a common problem are:

• England

• Australia

• Various Asian countries, like Hong Kong and Japan.

This in turn leads to overly Gangsta behaviour which makes them look rather stupid and commit petty crimes, spend excessive amounts of money on their cars and buying drinks to impress girls at nightclubs.

The Affected People

“I ain't no pozer homey.”

~ George Bush on Gansterphrenia

Most affected are either the Polynesian population in Auckland, New Zealand or whites (and most recently, Asians). They desire the need to buy endless amounts of jewelry, fake spinners on vans (or 1982 Corrolla DX's), bandanas, sweaters with the writing "Ghetto" or their gang that they are supposedly affiliated with.

A typical sufferer of the disorder.

Other things the disorder causes people to do is to show their underwear while still wearing shorts/trousers/etc (the term for this is "Lowriding"), wear their caps sideways and walk in a weird half penguin, half dolphin walk. They also take part in Rap Battles and Illegal Street Racing with their Pimped out rides.

Related Disorders

Most people suffering Gangsterphrenia are most likely related to Ricers. But that is yet, another story. A quick example on how they are closely related:

• They buy useless clutter for their cars.

• Examples are:

• Wings on a front-wheel drive car(Honda Civics).

• Ride height adjusted by cutting the springs.

• Hood scoops on rear/mid mounted engines.

• Enough chrome to blind the blind.

• Other examples are:

• Televisions on the rear window.

• Televisions inside the boot.

• Televisions on the steering wheel.

• Windows tinted so dark that you can't see through them.

• Sound systems that have faulty wiring.

• Liscence plates that read nonexistant words or phrases, such as "D-Shizzle" or "Blck-Pwr"

The Extent of the Disease

“Your son has 9 out of 10 signs of being a Gangsterphreniac.”

~ Dr. Phil on Gangsterphrenia

Although originating in small countries such as New Zealand, Gangsterphrenia has reached even as far as England where they are known as 'Chavs'. The disease is not as predominant in the USA where they weed out the sufferers from real gangsters by poping caps in their whiteboy asses.

They Don't Suffer Alone

This is a much rarer subject of a sufferer. His parents suffered miserably during his ordeal.

“I ain't got gangsterphrenia! I'm just straight gangsta and you don't accept that homey.”

~ Dick Cheney on Dr. Phil's comment

They don't suffer alone because their families suffer too. They suffer from mild embarrassment to extreme embarrassment and that moment where they reach that state, they either get the disorder or commit suicide.

Although there is the other option for family and friends and that is... to combat the disorder and hopefully turn the effected person away and turn them back to normality.

Effects Of The Disorder

“Bradley is my slave name!”

~ B-rad G on Gangsterphrenia

There are many different effects of the disorder here is a list of few:

• Extreme Ricer disorder

• Talking to elderly and people at high places with the use of the words: homey, G, gangsta, etc

• Will "Pop A Cap In Yo Ass Biatch"

• Can freestyle like nobody.

• They never nark on nobody.

Ways To Combat The Disorder

“Them poserz just neva learn....”

~ Don Brash on Gangsterphreniacs

Ways to do so is either imprisonment, talking and hobbies. Or there is the more drastic options of either sending them to the real ghetto or fighting embarrassment with embarrassment.

• The ghetto idea failed miserably. It was tested in the accurate documentary named Malibu's Most Wanted.

• The other option seems to be the best, but it is yet to be tested.

“Don't hate tha playa. Hate the game.”

~ Charlie Brown on Gangsterphrenia

So What Did We Learn From This?

Advertisements showing the seriousness of the disorder.

We learned that we should try and treat sufferers with more respect and kindness because its a SICKNESS, NOT A CRIME.

“That sorry as sucka got played! Hiz shit ain't no good in our hood.”

~ Nathan Bedford Forrest on P-Diddy