Ecstasy (E)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from ☺)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Typical ecstasy users can be identified by their discernible absentmindedness, over-the-top flashy clothing choices and their willingness to sleep with the unattractive.

“I highly recommend it.”

“I also highly recommend it. OMG your hair is so soft, bro! We should totally hang out a lot more! I love you man!”

3,4-Mentallydioxinmentalamphetamine (MDMA),[note 1] commonly known as ecstasy (E), is a smiley chemical substance found in students, hippies, and people who just want to dance around like idiots. Desired effects of MDMA include increased empathy, euphoria, and making trance music seem way less shittier. When taken by mouth, effects begin after 30–45 minutes and last 3–6 hours. It is also sometimes snorted or taken as a suppository. As of 2016, MDMA has no accepted medical uses.

Although it is not as good as Soma, Ecstasy continues to be more popular as it is a whole lot better than weed for dancing, and smoking crack has actually been proven to be bad for your health.

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ecstasy.

Dangers[edit | edit source]

MDMA use, particularly at all-night parties can cause death and sore cheeks, death, loss of hetrosexuality or worse unless the user consumes sufficient quantities of store bought vodka.

Other dangers include waking up naked in a church, rekindling relationships with people you don't really care about, confessing your undying love for someone you just met, stumbling upon the meaning of life and then forgetting it, and coming down like a bag of fat bricks.

You will dance like an idiot. If you normally dance like an idiot you will dance like an idiot on Ecstasy. Which mostly why people like it so much.

Eventually, constant use of Ecstacy in conjunction with MariJUHunannah, may cause random acts of insanity and dimb-whittedness. However, the use of marijuana paired with ecstasy can lead to a greater sense of worthiness and knowledge, studies say.

It may lead you to: Expect TOO MUCH for free:

"When's the food and drugs coming?" - McShifty.

Think too highly of yourself:

"How about we have an arm wrestle?" - Roberto William Rogers.

Go completely insane:

"FUCK I need more pills. ME NEED PILL!" - Arsenic_X, McShifty and Roberto William Rogers have both said the same thing on more than 1 occasion.

But the dangers go far beyond McShifty and Roberto pulling those crazy antics. One such danger is extreme forgetfulness such as forgetting to not walk off the roof of a building thinking you can fly. OK, that's bullshit, it does not really make you think you can fly, they just told you that to get you to take it. Noob.

Fun Facts[edit | edit source]

Ecstasy featured excessively in Ebeneezer Goode
  • Ecstasy can kill. (if you are a complete idiot)
  • Ecstasy used in conjunction with a USB to Brain cable allows free access to The Matrix, until level 35 at which point you will incur a monthly fee.

MDMA can also cause you to desire sex with animals, lamp posts, mailboxes, and nerds as it inhibits your ability identify and reject ugly/unorthodox potential sexual partners.

  • People on E often make connections with pictures of a snakes heads, pyramids, and animals.
  • Ecstasy, when taken in combination with asparagus, tastes plain awful.
  • Seriously though, you can have sex for hours if you take it.
  • The Shamen wrote a whole song about ecstasy, called Ebeneezer Goode. It got to number one in 1992.
  • Roughly 20% of the Ecstasy in circulation is either fake or will make you violently sick.
  • It can be easy to get ripped off when buying ecstasy. Methods of being ripped off include: being sold headache medicine, or Meth bombs, tabs so speedy you feel like your tweaking. It can be a good idea to get a pill test or check for a pill report online. Or just lick the damn thing and see if it tastes like your anus.

Regional Facts[edit | edit source]

  • Germany- 64% of public voted for legalization, but the Prime minister over ruled the vote, because in the weekend leading up to the Vote, she was sold a pure Caffeine pill.
  • Uganda- 100% of shamans voted ecstasy real dope!
  • Sweden- The government allows police officers to handout ecstasy to all violent drunk people.
  • United Kingdom- The government Reclassified ecstasy as compulsory for all politicians.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ The term MDMA is a contraction of 3,4-mentallydioxy-mentalamphetamine; it is also known by its addicts as ecstasy (shortened to "E", "X", or "XTC"), badgers, blue-pill / red-pill, the chemical, chuflas, damsel in distress, discs, disko biskits, electric mambonator, e-pill, feel goods, flippers, googs, happiness, juker, Jill's pill, ken, ketzal, madman, nurofen, pangs, pastis, pinger, scooby snacks, skittles, smarties, sprees, sweeties, triangles, Wally's squills, wingers, yolks, and zoomers.

See also[edit | edit source]

Mommy's medicine cabinet.jpg
Mommy's Medicine Cabinet

Aspirin • Caffeine • Chantix • Cheerios • Cocaine • Codeine • Coffee • Crack • Crack Corn • Corn syrup • Ecstasy • Dexedrine • Gluten • Haoma • HeadOn • Heroin • Jesus Juice • Kittens • Laudium • LSD • Magic mushrooms • Marijuana • MDMA • Medicine • Meth • Opium • Prozac • Ritalin • Side effects • Soma • Tylenol • Walgreens • Xanax • Viagra • The World's Most Powerful Drug

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Ecstasy&oldid=6248383"