User talk:THEDUDEMAN/archive2

Please review Vice President

I have rewritten Vice President - could you review it and if it has been improved, rethink your VFD vote? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:38, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

I'm a noob!

Could you adopt me and show me the Way of the Grue or whatever? You get to act like the old dude in every Kung Fu movie ever!

--User:¶ 18:23, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Sure. I'll adopt you. But first thing that I'm going to suggest is to change your sig. Squiggle already claimed the funny S type thing. It would be better and create less confusion if you made yours the funny backwards P type thing.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 20:36, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Awesome. Said changes have been made. Where do I start? --User:¶

I guess just write something funny in a parody-ish way. For some help with that, read HTBFANJS which will explain what NOT to do.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 02:43, 7 January 2008 (UTC)

Nice Catch

On the Health Service article, but as you've no doubt discovered its her article in the first place. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Kinda missed that one at first. The fact that it was in the image format her way helped, as I dont see many of those too often--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 01:41, 9 January

2008 (UTC)

Help to make it funnier?

Hi, I sent this to several friends who thought it was hilarious, except for one very religious person who was offended. So advice, please? We thought it was satirical. What can we improve? BlondeWarriorPrincess 21:35, 10 January 2008 (UTC) Thanks BlondeWarriorPrincess 21:35, 10 January 2008 (UTC)

Sorry I'm late

Enjoy your late thankin'.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:22, Jan 14

Cookie

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

For warning me off of 2girls1cup. If I didn't already know what a minefield it was, you'd have saved me from certain doom.--<<>> 02:56, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Yay! Cookie! :)--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 02:58, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Will you please

Please, please fix your sig? One of the random sig options is breaking the forums. I'd fix it myself, but I'm too lazy. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:03 Jan 19, 2008

Your sig's still fucking up margins, although it's stopped generating boxes. I hope you don't mind if I redirect it for now, because it's seriously getting on my nerves. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:15 Jan 19, 2008

For the moment i'm fine with it. But once i figure out teh problemz i'm restoring it.--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 20:24, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

Big anti-vandalism guy, eh?

Would you be willing to donate your user name and a link to your user page to a fictional revert war over a Marty Friedman article? All of the roles except "Admin who locks the article" are still open, and you are well qualified for all of them, so you have your choice of "Guy who writes the original article", "guy who reverts some poorly made but well-intentioned edits", "guy who reverts some blatant vandalism"  ^[1], or "guy who reverts the entire article being replaced by a Japanese smilie".

You in?

--monika 19:52, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

1. ^ No one makes fun of David Ellefson on Uncyclopedia ^[2] and gets away with it...
2. ^ ::shifty eyes::

Fuck yea I'm in. Put me down as the guy who reverts the blatant vandalism. List me as TheDudeMan though, all caps might look sorta funny.--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 20:07, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

Awesome, thanks. --monika 20:08, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

No problem dude.

SURPRISE

PENISMAN SURPRISES U! - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 04:42, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

I wake up...

...AND YOU'RE STILL WORKING ON PENIS MAN?! - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 15:42, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Yes ma'am I am.--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 15:46, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Ah, so close!

Your decruft of Template:Pope was a total of 667 removed bytes. -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 16:13, Jan. 21, 2008

THINKER Loves You

DUDE! MAN! You are the man, I know it to be so. The dude is another story, as that title is bestowed to a man greater than most, but hell, you walk in his path, so I'll let it ride, as long as you continue to entertain me in IRC and laugh at my stupid jokes.

Anyway, thank you for your support in the Writer of the Year competition. I'm taking this opportunity to thank you just because I can. So from the bottom of my corrogated, faultily-wired heart, I give thanks. --THINKER 18:08, 2 February 2008 (UTC)

EPIC FAIL!

	All Praise and Glory Be Yours!
	You have been emphatically thanked for voting for EPIC FAIL! on VFH.
	Due to the nature of the article, your thanks
	template has been stolen from the template
	that tells people a user has been infinibanned.
	EPIC FAIL!

_^(sir)Fag!chat|pee|fail|vote!

Thanks

Hey, thanks for welcoming me. I already read some of those pages you sent me, but I'll be sure to read the rest. Thanks once again. --Grandcamplander 01:07, 15 February 2008 (UTC)

Poopsmiths lounge

Thanks for you additions there. Some of those really are bad, I'm not sure all of them are defiantly VFD material, but I will work through them over time... It looks like you are getting the hang of finding the really bad stuff... Perhaps you could consider making your own list in your userspace, from which you can put your nominations onto VFD yourself as and when a space becomes available? Really the poopsmiths lounge is for 'new' VFD users, and I'm not sure that applies to you as I believe that you have done quite a lot of voting on VFD in the past. If you just wanted to add one or two articles to the Poopsmiths lounge from time to time, that would be OK, but generally we try to discourage people from dumping large lists in there... Thanks. MrN 01:51, Feb 18

Ahh!

Congratulations Dude (CUN). Welcome to the order. :) MrN 21:35, Feb 18

Thanks be to you!

Thankings from Led Thanks muchly for the vote for me on VFS. Now to abuse my powers... 03:38, 1 March 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎(Muahahahaha!))

Thanks again for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:55, Mar 1

Welome

Thanks for the welcome! :-D GringoInChile 20:45, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

Thong'd!

Olipro presents you with this Brutal-looking manthong (which he is no longer wearing) Thanks for voting for UnNews:Olipro is wearing a thong, offers $10,000 to anyone who can guess what color it is over at that crazy VFH thing.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 03:38 Mar 2

Cheers

For your latest batch of nominations over at VFD. I was starting to think I was the only one posting today! Oh, I could not help noticing that you had not added the VFD tag to the pages you nominated. Would ya be a dude and make sure that ya do in the future? I think the admins can refuse to delete if that happens, even if everyone votes Delete so it is kinda important. Thanks. MrN 02:09, Mar 7

Meh. I probably would have, but i had to turn off the computer in a hurry. I will next time though.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 02:15, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Belated Thanks!

After months of poop handling and getting a wee bit tired Your UotM vote acted as Red Bull. Nasty, bad smelling and revitalizing. I now regained the strength to handle some more poop. Thank you! No, seriously, thank you

Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S

omg like thanks for the welcome

But seeing as I have been a member here longer than you, I should be welcoming you.

Hello, THEDUDEMAN, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  --Snafu 02:34, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Hah. My bad. Shit happens I guess. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 02:38, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Marijuana

I was resigned to accept your February 19 reversion of my changes to Marijuana, but it has been not sitting right with me. Other than the link to Reefer Madness in the external links, I think everything I did was in keeping with the spirit of the article and added some humor (or at least irony) to an otherwise dry section. If you think I'm wrong, maybe we should consult Kalir who is basically the "owner of this article. --Naughtius Maximus F@H Woof! MeowMUN 23:16, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Hello.

Uh, Hi. Thank you for the welcome. Cool. I just learned how to leave a message without messing with the whole page and adding a section that way. Thank you. First thing I learned. So what is the.... Nvr mind.--CherryBlossom93 23:16, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Any reason

You were banned on IRC by vampiregirl? ~ 14:33, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

By request at 2 AM. I needed the sleep.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 17:25, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Ah, OK. I was getting worried. :) ~ 22:44, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

AWB

Did you discuss that with anyone prior to activating it? ~ 22:11, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

I probably should have shouldnt I have. If you want I could probably find the revert button. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 22:13, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

It looks like a handy took, but still, I don't like running automatic tools before the more script oriented people take a look at it. Could you run it by Spang? Or maybe sannse can OK it since it's running on wikipedia? Thanks. ~ 22:16, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Sure thing, but its not a script. Its a program that runs off the computer. I'd give you the link to check it out, but i cant find it.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 22:26, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Congratulations!

And a special thank you for the nomination itself. I do believe this is the fourth attempt and so far the first to draw no "against" votes and the first to have a serious chance of succeeding. Rock on, bro. --» His Majesty King George VI (the boxes) 11:15, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

We did it! Duuude... thanks for nomming my article, man! --» His Majesty King George VI (the boxes) 04:39, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

On your knees, then

It's time to give AND receive.

And not the way you think. Give thanks for receiving this:

*ahem* For superlative performance in all site-related tasks, including spontaneous article cleanup, I hereby present you with

Lieutenant

Wear your badge with pride, dignity, and flamboyant signs that proclaim your utter supremacy. Congratulations!~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 02:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

For the welcome. Username! 01:27, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

No Problem.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 01:28, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

In defense of the intentional {{teh}} template

This template might seem stupid at first, however, it will prevent most of Fnoodle's correction of intentionally misspelled words, and allows for him to continue to correct the accidental "{{{1}}}". It seems like the easiest way around the problem of using an auto-corrector. (Theoretically, someone could design a no-auto correct template, but that would take a lot of work and time). Granted you would need a template for every common intentionally misspelled word that could result from a typo rather than intentional misspelling, but there are actually relatively few words like that. Most intentional misspellings, like ur or haxor do not occur as typos, and most typos are not common intentional spelling errors.--Mnbvcxz 04:42, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Okay

Now that you've managed to completely fuck up my bot's run, care to tell me WHICH templates you DIDN'T subst? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:54 May 04, 2008

Aaand... if you're going to be running a bot, please don't make it do things that another bot is already doing, it might seem helpful but is more likely to mess up the other bot. Especially if you don't let anyone know that it's going to be doing it. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 00:47, 05 May 2008

Also, your bot's so fat that it has to dismantle itself just to walk out the garage door! Ohhhhh! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:49 May 05, 2008

My bot only substed {{copyvio}} and {{No rights reserved}}. I thought that you had it running that after ever temploate has been completly subst'ed, itd be restarted, apparently not.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 00:54, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I took a shortcut that ended up biting me in the ass. I think I cleaned up the mess, though. Fnoodle's very neat about that. I'll get him back to work tomorrow; for now, I need sleep. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:56 May 05, 2008

HALP!

Doctor Miles Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Skullthumper has awarded you a cat brain for being part of the largest HALP! chain on IRC, ever

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:32 May 06, 2008

UnSignpost: May 8th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

May 8th, 2008 • Issue 1 • Yankees: 5

UnSignpost Unleashed on UnCommunity Unless you were blinded or high during the time you read this newspaper's title, you know that Uncyclopedia finally has UnSignpost! For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million. Skullthumper and Cajek spent 15 hours working on the first edition, not including writing time. Said Skull, who was trying to sleep until we interviewed him, "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." News has reached us that friendships were strained during the production of the first issue. Skullthumper, whose hospital room we broke into, said "F**king Cajek. I will NEVER forgive him for what he did to me! Oh, see you guys in the office Monday." The Uncyclopedia Signpost has a world-wide circulation of more than 3, with plans for further issues. Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed Uncyclopedia, a humor wiki that you're on right now, has thrown itself into a state of chaos and is on the verge of collapse. Unless someone either writes more or writes less, the wiki that we have come to know and love (like that retarded cousin that comes over during Christmastime) will vanish. Unless it doesn't, in which case someone's going to be very disappointed. Codeine, Save the Mooses, and a bunch of other people we've never heard of give the site 6 days to "clean up its god damned act." Because the site is doomed, the local WikiNewspaper, UnSignpost, will soon print its last issue. Cajek, one of the editors, said of the event, "No we're not closing down you bunch a 'tards! You're the worst reporters I've ever seen! DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT IN THE FIRST ISSUE!" Local psychics have set Uncyclopedia's Doomsday for next Monday, around teatime. Upgrade On Wednesday, Wikia upgraded to MediaWiki version 1.12. While these reporters don't have any idea what that means, new features seem to include: Broken <choose> tags! That's right, even more signature-breaking action! Russian Roulette usergroups! So you thought you had rollback rights, huh? Whoops! Not anymore! Wikia is reportedly looking into making new features such as accidentally dumping the database for Shits and Giggles™. These reporters would like to thank Wikia for working so hard to keep our beloved wiki running, and would also like to say "FU WIKIA", preferably in caps. Pee Review Does Goodly UN:PR is nearly empty due to many diligent reviewers who have little else to do, and don't know how to write articles themselves. Uh, unless they're reading this right now, in which case they rock! YesTimeToEdit starts a cult One of the newer cults, YesTimeToEdit's Cow Moo Cult is our... CULT OF THE WEEK! With a base located in the jungles of Nebraska, YTTE's cult makes all the fun things you want, like polygamy, sodomy, and, in YTTE'S case, polysodomy, legal. Sadly, unlike more Eastern-y cults, it does not practice Kung Fu. But you can bet that if it did, it wouldn't just use it for defense. ...Damn namby-pamby bastard Easterny cults. YesTimeToEdit's eternal nemesis, NoTimeToRevert, has not announced plans to start a cult, but probably has one in secret just to be a dick. That guy is such a dick. Rcmurphy nominated for Noob of the Month again Thekillerfroggy is sucked into the black vortex of tradition as he takes another whack at a dead horse and nominates long-time noob Rcmurphy for the honor of Noob of the Month. Mr. Froggy had this to say to "reporters": "I figured that, since RCMurphy, one of the oldest members of the site, was in fact NOT a noob, that this little gesture would give the community a giggle. You see? Because he, like, isn't a noob."

Check out these pages! What you probably missed on IRC (and were happy you did) Help Fnoodle link up Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia At-A-Glance Kalir's Epic Story Irony in the forums From our logs: Codeine huffed "Man With no Name" (You don't need to create redirects for every case permutation of your title) Codeine huffed "Man with no Name" (in fact, it's quite irritating) Codeine huffed "Man with no name" (and, frankly) Codeine huffed "The Man with No Name" (a complete bloody waste of your time and mine) Codeine huffed "Man with No Name" (but hey, welcome to Uncyc anyway) Codeine huffed "The Man With No Name" (now read BGBU) 07:16, May 6, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 29 minutes ‎ (Admins are immune to autoblock, duh. And if autoblock tried that shit on a janitor, why, we'd just superblock his ass.) 14:47, May 5, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.108.96.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Jonas Brothers, eh? Sounds like some kind of shitty boy band. One week to go out and buy a Led Zeppelin album. Oh, and stop blanking.) Biopic of the Week Dr. Skullthumper ~ With a degree in HTML and Wikiology, Dr. Wolfgang Amadeus Milhouse Mozart Jonathan Willy Wizbang Skullthumper, along with Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, is full of all sorts of techie knowledge for the wandering newb. He enjoys walks on the beach, holding hands, and heroin. Lots and lots of heroin. ...Except replace "heroin" with "rubber duckies". Hey, we just wanted a bad-boy reputation! ...Obviously we failed. Quote of the Week: " very very hilariously strong against" - Everyone on Everything. Spacefiller of the week: Did you know that Grand Theft Auto has had more than 700 different spinoffs, including Grand Theft Auto:Antarctica Oscar Wilde LOLOLOLLL and Grant Theft Auto:Crime Scene Investigation:The ReReckoning:Time of Darkness? No, you didn't. Dumbass. Disclaimer of the week: UnSignpost is not responsible for any lost property while reading. Any lost property found while reading UnSignpost is property of Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek, irrespectively. Any lost property lost while reading UnSignpost is your own damn problem. Week Box of the week: Definitely the Grand Theft Auto one. I peed my pants. Seriously. Somebody should give these guys an award. I was all screamin' n' shit, "Oh yes, YES Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek! Slather me in your humor juice!" The other people in the library, and my psychiatrist, said I was weird, but it was totally worth it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:19, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sunday Edition: May 11th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

May 11th, 2008 • Issue 2 • Scene XII

Wikia staff finally locates blockage in the Internet tubes: Spang's talkpage After endless days of searching itself, Wikia has discovered the source of all its problems. "It's not DPL," Wikia's local sexy janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. "It's not those damn ParserFunctions either, or forums, or even Chuck Norris." When asked what the real cause of Wikia's distresses were, our source remained tight-lipped by stapling his mouth shut. Which was probably a bad idea, considering he ended up writhing in pain on the floor, bleeding all over the nice Wikia rugs. Thankfully, the UnSignpost has a trained doctor on its staff, who was sensible enough to call for medical help. After the sexy janitor was revived, he said "rar." When further questioned about the source of all Wikia's woes, he finally admitted it was Spang's talkpage. "Uncyclopedia user "Spang"'s refusal to archive his talkpage is slowly clogging up the arteries of the Internet," says a technical forum at Wikia. "The talkpage in question has already managed to crash all three of the computers in Australia." Upon being asked to archive his talkpage, Spang reportedly said, "No." When Uncyclopedia was asked to comment, the site had this to say: "FU SPANG". UnSignpost Releases First Issue May 8th, 2008: Uncyclopedia develops a new fungus... a newspapery one. "Through all the shockporn and Oscar Wilde references, we made it!" Founder Dr. Skullthumper said at a recent press conference. At the conference in Skullthumper's backyard, editor-in-chief Cajek, wearing a traditional light blue Mongolian Toga and screaming at birds, had more to add. "I would like to thank all the writers involved. Thank you, you gods of men. You captains of the human experience." Police are investigating the use of strong hallucinogenic drugs during the making of the first issue. So far, the investigation has reached the top of the Unsignpost empire, when detectives found Dr. Skullthumper forcing his staff to squirt automotive door-lock de-icer up their noses to "enhance the creative joo-joo." Local police then ordered the paper to rescind two award-winning articles from its May 8th release. Two of the most hardened criminals on the UnSignpost staff, Meatbone and Spider, are currently planning revenge. When asked if UnSignpost was, like the Daily Show, the Onion, or Uncyclopedia, popular enough to parody itself, Cajek said "No. Obviously not. We can't say we suck yet, or else people would be like 'yeah, they do suck!' We have to wait until people like us. Then, when they read us making fun of ourselves they'll be all like 'this paper ROX!'" In the meantime, the paper promises to not make fun of itself, and will stick to meta-parodying instead until "someone important says it's okay." Heavy metal music found to be beneficial when reverting vandals Ever find yourself stuck awake at three in the morning (EST), fighting a few vandals with no admins around? Studies show that your choice of music might influence how you revert. In a study involving Squiggle, RAHB, Cajek, Fnoodle, Dr. Skullthumper, and Starnestommy, in which they fought diligently for Uncyclopedia through the night, heavy metal music was found to be the best for the purpose of "ass-kicking". After sprinkling some magic over the statistics, they automatically became true. Cajek's Corner By Dr. Skullthumper Today, we're going to make a standard Uncyclopedia article, Cajek-style. You will need: Annoying text. Preferably some blinky things and <big> tags. A sense of humor. Something to complain about for a page or so. Now, we'll combine the elements together into something that might be called an "article". In reality, all you have to do is whine for a good few pages of text, then sprinkle the annoying elements - sparingly. Add headlines and split up paragraphs to disguise your rant as a well-formatted article, and you're done! Next week: Whoring your article Skull's Skullery By Cajek Hi kids! Today, we're going to travel with me, Dr. Skullthumper, through a normal day at Uncyc! 9:00am: Complain about Wikia. Post new topic in Village Dump about Wikia. Troll Special:Recentchanges. 10:42am: Troll talk pages. Post new topic in Village Dump about some random techie shit. Bother some guy. Revert some guy's edits. Get some guy banned. 10:44am: spend thirty minutes on IRC talking to an admin saying how that guy was my best friend, and I never meant to hurt him. 12:10pm: Vandalize some guy's userpage over and over again. 4:92pm: Forget what I was doing. Start over. 5:19pm: Enact wild scheme to make Uncyclopedia that much weirder. End day.

Check out these pages! Self-reference jokes alive and well! Get your Starnestommy sig space while supplies last halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp Game portal Kip the Dip unbanned From our logs: 02:49, May 7, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 213.233.101.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Fun fact #12341: Cyberbullies have a miniature penis) 11:03, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wigger" ‎ (You people make me hate my life.) 11:04, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Lee Jorde" ‎ (I mean, seriously. I have better things I could be doing than wading through cruft. But I do it anyway.) 11:06, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Handcuffs" ‎ (Book 'im Danno!) Biopic of the Week Drama ~ Considered the most controversial user on Uncyclopedia evah, Klaus Drama is going strong, getting on average 50 people banned per week. Having studied acting for 40 years and written his own Dadaist version of Hamlet (entitled "idiotic antibody"), Klaus has much experience making people nervous and uncomfortable. With his life-long boyfriend Jizz Rick (who demanded to be in the second issue of UnSignpost) Drama is conquering Uncyc one shouting match at a time. Reason to Leave Uncyc of the Week #53 Too many users leaving. Horoscope of the Week Scorpio ~ Expect gains and/or losses in business affairs this week. Oh, and tell that f**cker John that UnSignpost's registered horoscopologists told you he's the one stealing food from the employee fridge, and that if he doesn't stop, the writers of this horoscope will come to his house on Brickwood Lane and trash the damn place. Reason to Leave Alternate Universe Uncyc of the Week #97 Although the alien admins were nice at first, they're starting to lay eggs in our more important organs and eating our more favorite children. Sympathy Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ An American user born in mumble mumble, Optimuschris, author of HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days, is an up-and-coming young Uncyc user, according to, like, lots of people. Whereas he was really friendly before, now, because he appeared in the UnSignpost, "OptyC" has gotten a huge ego, and refuses to "hang" with you. Feeding Trolls of the Week: "I actually made an account just to point out that you accuse ED for being "1000% Unfunny" for having a page for Chuck Norris when you have a link to your very own Chuck Norris page in the article. If you go through UC and just read a random article you probably aren't going to laugh no matter how hard the author tried (and failed, lulz). Encyclopedia Dramatica just wants to fill this goatse-challenging gap that you created with things that are actually funny, liek mudkipz. Plox 2 b nt hating us 4 bein funny kthxbai." - Uncyclopedia on its rival. Quote of the Week: "I feel like throwing myself into the goatse challenging gap we created. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" - Mordillo on the recent Goatse gap crisis

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 04:36, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

Long-delayed thankings

	Err... Hey, sorry I'm, uhh, a little bit late on the thanks for this thing... I've been really, really, busy. Anyways, thanks for voting, and, with any luck, those delusional fools will let me out of this hell-hole soon.
	I'm going to burn you all!

Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, amirite? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:54, May 12

UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3

The Bible Finally Catches a Break For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice. HTBFANJS Most Linked Article How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment The editors of the UnSignpost strongly encourage the community to sign up for Uncyclopedia's Folding@Home team. Started in 2005 by rcmurphy, Codeine, Flammable, Paulgb, gwax, Mhaille, Carlb, Naughtyned, DrakeGTA, and RadicalX, the signup page has since gathered more cobwebs than new users. By joining F@H, you will get a free program that uses any extra unused CPU power to perform complicated calculations in the background. "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world!

Check out these pages! MrN makes it Over 9000 René Descartes "That's disgusting! Where can I get a copy?" Spang tries to break Wikia again; fails, settles for MediaWiki instead Jar of dirt, possession thereof That Gray Thing on the Back of Your Screen The first ever WikiBand! From our logs: 22:23, May 9, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.71.223.144 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't add crap to pages(take that as literally as you want to, btw).) 07:26, May 11, 2008 One-eyed Jack (Talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "Image:PASex.jpg" ‎ (Pineapple-shaped sexual aid. Stoled off the Internets for higher purposes. The end justifies the means, as Stalin said.)) (Huff log); 11:39 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (hacked up "Blood": 102 revisions restored) Biopic of the Week Under user ~ By the great Lord Harry, pippings all! Numpty numpty numpty, loo fag wut? Tea time, London, England, Britain! Aluminium, football, dustbins up the dual carriageway, chaps with bad teeth, wot wot? I write long things wit' humoUr! In short, my good numpties: Don't f**k with England. ...even though I'm actually from Idaho. Crossword of the Week Across 5. Uncyclopedia is facing a _ _ _ _ _ _ challenging gap. 12. What happens if you mess with Unsignpost's writers. 14. Uncyclopedia is _ _ _ _ ing DOOMED. 19. Dr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the one with the lame techie articles. That other guy is pretty cool, though. Well, the crossword thinks he's cool, anyway. Answers next week! ...maybe. Shape of the Week Octangle ~ After thousands of years of being the forgotten cousin of the triangle, and the bastard child of the rectangle and octagon, the Octangle has made a re-emergence. Appearing 20 (secret) times on the $100 bill, the Octangle is our... shape of the week! Doomsday of the Week Monday, around tea time: Uncyclopedia will suddenly shut down due to too many unfunny articles. Users will shake their heads in disgust, pity, anger, sadness, anger, defeat, pity and anger. The last article written will be Grand Theft Auto:Siberia Chuck Norris LOLLLOLOLOLLOO by User:SqueezeMeGently, and the last article featured will be Rough Gay Wolf Sex by User:TheAntiUncyc. User of the Week, not to be confused with Biopic of the Week: FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS ~ Although blocked infinitely, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS was a boon to the community. We at User of the Week don't see any actual contributions from FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS because they were blocked infinitely, just in and/or before their prime. Which begs the question: Who is the real monster here? Certainly not FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS. ...Go quietly into the night, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, for we shall never forget ye. HanSolo's Weapon of the Week: ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed. (not recommended for use on admins -ed) This Week In Uncyc, 1957 Week of May 15th, 1957: Recreated as a warning system for nuclear attacks, the megacomputer Uncyclopedia kept the Ruskies at bay. With its 5 megabyte database and kung fu grip, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with. This Week In Uncyc, 1765 Week of May 15th, 1765: The proud warship H.M.S. Uncyclopedia, christened earlier that week, began patrolling the Atlantic for Napolean's fleet. With a crew of 90, a Surface-to-Air missile battery on deck, and the world's first Lolcat, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:06, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Typo!

Hey there THEDUDEMAN, I was over at Crazedmonk's userpage giving him/her/it/n00b a stern warning about his crap review, and I happened to notice your limited time offer has a typo in it. "Than Join The Uncyclopedia UnSignPost , The Newspaper" "Than" indicates passage of time, "Then" indicates sequence, which I think should be used in this instance. Just want to save you the embarresment of ridicule from a n00b. Warm Regards, Javascap

Thanks for the heads up, but that welcome message is jsut a subst of {{Welcome}}. I'll see what I can do, but since its a protected page last time i checkes, It might take some time to change. --Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 12:23, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Mick Hucknall vanity?

You do know simply red don't you? I once spend seven hours driving in New Zealand listening to Mick Hucknall over and over again. Simply because I had nothing else available. I never recuperated. ~ 07:41, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Hmm... I guess its good that I've never been to new zealand. or not. But either way, I've never heard of him, but I'm sorry for the error. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 12:09, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

I was just surprised is all, they were pretty big at the time. ~ 12:11, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery. Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages! Spang is Gay! The Monkey Spankers Complete Collection In Another Wiki, Far Far Away From our logs: 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! ) 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag) 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban) Biopic of the Week Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?! Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week: "HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???" Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week: 8. Not enough users leaving. Horrifying Disease of the Week: The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much. Retraction of the Week: We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!! Letter of the Week: This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate". Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week: 73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:18, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

HALP!! (no relation to the IRC phenomenon)

Dudeman, I left a message at your bot's house. I need it to deliver this week's unsignpost: It's almost ready.   Le Cejak • <0:53, 29 May 2008>

Will do. I may take some time to figure out how the good Doctor managed to do it, but it shouldn't take too long.--Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 01:38, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

You rock, man. Message (and a massage for later) at your bot's place!   Le Cejak • <1:47, 29 May 2008>

Issue #6 is ready to ship out, buddy. Thanks! Is there anything I have to do first?   Le Cejak • <4:10, 05 Jun 2008>

All i need is the location of the paper, and i can have it delivered within minutes. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 05:03, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Also, next time, use the plus button to add stuff. While practicality is using the same header, its easier to just check the bottom. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 05:22, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press. Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek Letters to the Editor I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us. I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages! A Horrible Vision of the Future A Horrible Vision of a Puppet-Based Future Chinese Oscar Wilde and the Crappy Translation Somewhat Controversial Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia From our logs: 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!) 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA) 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F) Biopic of the Week <insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}! UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!) Unsignpost Founder of the Week: ...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you. Animal of the Week: Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways. Template of the Week: The bad lyric generator ~ She whispers "If you wanna taste my love why don't you swallow this" - Poison Last Minute Box of the Week: First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking: Pole Dancer of the Week: Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:01, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Greeting From a new user

• Hi im crossfire! Nice to meet u. Do u love my 1st page or what :)Crossfirexiv 20:49, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:20, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

VFS wishlist

You and MrN9000 would be nice.   Le Cejak • <3:34, 09 Jun 2008>

If you're asking me if i would like to be on VFS, go for it. If you're asking me to op myself and MrN, I got nothing. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:40, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-43-08

let's do this, dood   Le Cejak • <16:44, 12 Jun 2008>

Sure thing. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 16:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content I WILL KILL YOU! Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:55, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Temp for ya!

This user account facilitates a user operated by a bot (Thedudebot).

It is probably has ten or more operators, but hopefully is a human who makes repetitive fixes that would be extremely tedious for the bot to do (or so we'd like you to think).

Administrators: if this asshole is being a dumbass or causing harm, tough fucking shit.

---

Syntax: {{botowner}} -----TheDragonMan2.0 ^{Chase the Dragon!} 14:48, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/6-19-08

Woot! It's finally ready for delivery, Dudeman!   Le Cejak • <14:03, 20 Jun 2008>

As soon as i get home. In about 2 hours, unless my mom actually decides to get off her ass and take me there. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 18:59, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Whenever you can is fine, Dudicus! (Sorry you're not VFS nommed! Next time, I will support you more intensely) Keep it up!   Le Cejak • <19:02, 20 Jun 2008>

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:00, 21 June 2008 (UTC)