Protected page

Stoner High School

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Free Imperial Republic of Stoner High School
Shscoat.PNG
SHSchool coat of arms (post-revolutionary)
Anthem: "Dudes of Stoner"
CapitalStudent Union Building (SUB)
Official language(s)English
Government 
‑ Head of State/GovernmentHer Majesty Queen Tiffany IV, Class of 2011
Declaration
 of Independence		October 5th, 1980
CurrencyExtra Credit Point (EC#)
ReligionGeorgianism and Alcoholism
Official substanceKittens
GDP per capita14.3 million extra credit points ($1,986,111 USD)
Average GPA4.0
Average BAC0.09 [1]
Average SAT2320 (new), 1337 (old)
Official animalPalestinian Rat
Official vegetableCabbage
Official mineralPetroleum
Official number420

“By far, de greatest schule in this great Schtate of Kuhllifornia.”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on Stoner High School

“At Stoner High School, students expel YOU!”

~ Russian reversal on Stoner High School

“DUDE! The drum solo from "In the Air Tonight" is FUCKING EPIC!”

~ Random student at Stoner High School on God knows what[2]
No Wikipedia.png
Those so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia doesn't have an article about Stoner High School. We apologize for their blatant oversight.

Stoner High School (also known as "SHS", "Stoner High", "The ProcrastiNation", "The Stoner Imperium", or simply "Stoner") is an independent wholly student-pwned and operated high school in Fockersville, California. From a dark, tortured past, Stoner High School has emerged to become a shining beacon of hope, justice, and unrivaled fun for oppressed students worldwide. As feared by the educational bureaucracy as it is loved by that bureaucracy's victims, the school epitomizes the absolute perfection of the secondary school system in pretty much every way.[3] It is one of the largest and most successful high schools in the nation, thanks to its unique form of governance, libertarian economic and social policies, fearsome military and damn good beer. SHS's astoundingly high endowments of human and natural capital have also allowed it to project global military, economic and political power at a level befitting its de facto status as a modern industrial nation-state.[4] Further information is available via the links below.



Shscoat.PNG

1. Home
2. History
3. Stoner Today
4. Controversies
5. Economy
6. Government & Politics
7. Military

8. Geography
9. School songs
10. Famous speeches
11. Election history
12. Calendar of Events
13. Queens and Kings
14. Photo Album

References

  1. ↑ Though it appears low, this average reflects the BAC of all students at all times. Since it is an unfortunate reality that nearly all students are sober for at least several hours a day (particularly while unable to consume more alcohol as a result of being asleep), it must be considered that average BAC among awake students is higher than this figure, and BAC among students not in class is still higher. The distribution is decidedly skewed to the extreme ends of the spectrum, with the standard deviation of the BAC being approximately 0.69.
  2. ↑ For more quotes, please visit the quotes section.
  3. ↑ Focker, et al. (2006) A History of Stoner High School.
  4. ↑ CIA World Factbook, 2008 (classified edition).
Potatohead aqua.png
Featured Article (read another featured article)
Featured version: 2 April 2008
This article has been featured on the front page. You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.Template:FA/02 April 2008Template:FA/2008Template:FQ/02 April 2008Template:FQ/2008
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Stoner_High_School&oldid=6278583"