Stoner High School/School songs
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School Songs
"Corruption"
Also known as "the song that started it all," this song was written by the Axis of Weasels and brought about the crackdown that sparked the overthrow of Dumhaas. It is sung to the tune of "Tradition" from "Fiddler on the Roof."
Verse One
Corruption, corruption! corruption!
Corruption, corruption! corruption!
Who, day and night, must scramble for excuses,
Speak a lot of bullshit, write up stupid rules?
And who has the right, as master of the school,
To have the final word in class?
The Principal, the Principal! Corruption!
The Principal, the Principal! Corruption!
Verse Two
Who must know the way to run a crazy class,
A noisy class, a madhouse class?
Who must grade the quizzes and run the school,
So Principal's free to go get Starbucks?
The Teachers, the Teachers! Corruption!
The Teachers, the Teachers! Corruption!
Verse Three
At nine, I opened English class. At ten, I broke my whip.
I hear they've blamed the students though. I hope it's true.
The sub, the sub! corruption!
The sub, the sub! corruption!
Verse Four
And who does Teacher teach to beat around the bush,
Preparing me to apply wherever Mama picks?
The student, the student! corruption!
The student, the student! corruption!
"Dudes of Stoner"
The official song of Stoner High School is "Dudes of Stoner," written by Confederation of Concerned Students Vice President and then-sophomore Kate Schpade (later to become second Queen of SHS). It is sung to the tune of "Men of Harlech."
The song is sung very slightly differently by men and women in the first verse.
Verse One
Dudes of Stoner stop your slaving
Can’t you see your freedoms fading
See that crazy Dumhaas screaming
At this pretty (handsome) girl (guy)
Verse Two
From the hills rebounding
Let this war cry sounding
Summon all at Tiffany's call
The mighty force surrounding
Verse Three
Dudes of Stoner stand ye steady
It cannot be ever said ye
For the battle were not ready
Stand and never yield
Verse Four
Dudes of Stoner onto glory
This shall ever be your story
Keep these duct tape rolls beside ye
Students will not yield
"We're Not Gonna Take It"
An Axis of Weasels cover of the Twisted Sister song We're Not Gonna Take It is the Blue Coalition Party Anthem.
"Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall"
The Brown Keg party, after intense inebriated deliberation, settled on "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as the party anthem since they were already singing it at all the parties anyway.
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