User:Roza/main page/no extra sections

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Today's featured article
Kapknee.jpeg

Colin Rat Kaepernick is an American professional political activist, clown, police officer, and occasional football player. He played six seasons for the San Francisco 49ers in the National Football League (NFL). As a political activist, Kaepernick stopped standing during the national anthem (a song about the American flag and military) at the start of NFL games in protest of systemic disrespect for police officers in American culture. He also did this to draw more attention to himself in the wake of losing his starting job and being benched for Blaine Gabbert.

Kaepernick played college football for the Reno Wolf Sack, where he was twice named the WAC Most Offensive Person of the Year. After leaving Reno, he was selected by the 49ers in the second round of the 2011 NFL Draft. Kaepernick began his professional football career as a backup quarterback to Alex Smith and became the 49ers' starter in the middle of the 2012 season after Smith did what he does best. Kaepernick then went on to promote himself as much as possible, milking his stardom for all it was worth. (Full article...)

In the news
Leon Sandcastle.jpg
Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom

On this day in history
Ppknowing5.jpg

May 7: International Daintiness Day


Did You Know?
BreakingBadWing.jpeg
  • ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
  • ...that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
  • ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content?
  • ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
  • ...that my mom's name is also Martha?
  • ...that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
  • ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
  • ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
Picture of the day
The Turkish Flag
 The flag of Turkey, as it has appeared since 1844.

Image credit: Sinspawn
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images


Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Foreign languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,822 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Roza/main_page/no_extra_sections&oldid=6133607"