User:Joe9320/People's Republic of Australia

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Àodàlìyà Rénmín Gònghéguó
People's Republic of Australia
Red Australia.png Emu.png
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Forward, Australia!
Anthem: Advance Australia Fair (March of the Australians)
Australia-New Zealand.JPG
Largest cityShangdini
Official language(s)Chinese (Mandarin), English
GovernmentCommunist state, People's Republic
PremierJulia Gillard
‑ PresidentWayne Swan
‑ Australian Labor Party Political Conference ChairmanKevin Rudd
National Hero(es)Kevin Rudd, Paul Keating, Captain Cook, Steve Irwin, Julia Gilard
 of Independence
2007 (established and replaced the Commonwealth of Australia)
CurrencyAustralian Yuan (Renminbi) (AUY)(¥)
Population1,351,840,238 (recent estimate, figures include 85% of refugees)
Area7,617,930 square km
Ethnic groupsWhite, Chinese, Aboriginal, Refugee
Drives onRight (except the New Zealand Special Adminstrative Region, which drives on the left)

“Gillard for Glory! Rudd is a dud!”

~ ALP on Comrade Gillard

“In Soviet Australia, Rudd overthrows YOU!”

~ Russian reversal on Gillard's rule

In an alternate universe.....

The People's Republic of Australia (PRA), also known as Red Australia or Communist Australia is a country located in a continent south of Indonesia. It is the GLOURIOUS PLACE in the world. Like China, it is the birthplace of everything, including the rotary clothes line, the feature film, the clapper, the black box flight recorder, the boomerang, the Coolgardie safe, the notepad, the surf ski, the tank, the pick up truck (in which they call a "ute"), the bionic ear, the winged keel, the frozen embryo baby, the orbital engine and more. Infact, they invented EVERYTHING. The PRA expanded in 1997 after the British handover of New Zealand to Australia.

History[edit | edit source]

PRA, the housing and minor economic engine of the world, second only to China, is the home of Chuck E. Cheese's favourite cheese house: King Island. PRA is known for having spectacular deserts and beaches, a booming population growth due to the high amount of refugees arriving at PRA's borders and a rapidly increasing birth rate. This statistics show how Australians, including Kevin Rudd (who has a small penis by the way) and a soft border protection policy can be responsible for such a large population, including bigots. Due to half of the PRA's population having small penises, Australian sheilas can talk on the phone while having intercourse, without getting a hint to the caller that she is getting rooted.

The People's Republic of Australia has seen a recent rise in the numnber of refugees and corruption due to Kevin Rudd's Economic Stimulus and his many failed Three-Year Plans which saw numerous deaths by insulation, the construction of the Great Firewall Reef of Australia in a scale similar to the Great Firewall of China in which they will block pr0n, hentai, euthanasia and Uncyclopedia, and the court battle against Japan on whaling and the sale of whale penis burgers and whalebone corsets worn by Japanese cosplayers. The recent Ute-gate scandal is the result of such corruptions in communist Australia, despite being commited by Godwin Grech, a Party Comrade. Of course, Red Australia has been tarred under the banner of Communism (fucking commie cunts). Red Australia has been communist since 2007 when Kevin Rudd establish relations with China.

British Invasion and Federation[edit | edit source]

In 1788, the British Army invaded the already established Australia that is run by Aboriginal people. The Aborignal peoples were displaced and the British farmed, whipped prisoners and build roads and houses. Australia was back then established as the world's largest prison, so the British sent settlers around Australia to build new towns. In 1835, John Batman established a colony near Port Philip Bay and made the treaty with Aboriginals. However, the treaty is invalid and shit, until 160 years later, when it is declared as valid. A gold rush started during the 1830's in New South Wales and Australia became from a prison into a free country. Then thousands of Chinese arrived and the white people became annoyed because they are simply different to them, those racist pricks. Many Chinese were driven away by racist whites, and meanwhile, Aboriginal children were stolen starting from the 1860s when "protection boards" were created, which saw a massive increase of Aboriginals forced into reserves. From the 1890's, it's only when Whitey Stole My Kids, also known as the Stolen Generation started.

In the 1890's, the Australian Labor Party (now the Australian Communist Party) is founded by mighty trade unions who wanted change and defeat the evil employers. Australia has plans to become one, with many governors of colonies meeting up with each other to make a united country, and in 1901, the Glorious Commonwealth of Australia was founded[1]. During the First World War the brave soldiers, known as the ANZACs, fought against the Turks. Australia was again involved in World War II fighting against the Japanese who have imprisoned Dunlop, the hero of Australia (along with several thousand soldiers), and the Nazis. But in the 1950s, the Liberal Party of Australia, the evil party, accused innocent Communist Party and ALP of being a communist, those right-wing pigs. They forced thousands of innocent young men into Vietnam, and by 1972, they were pulled out thanks to Gough Whitlam, who ended the White Australia Policy implemented by right-wing Nazis in the 1900's. By 1975 he is kicked out and replaced with Malcolm Fraser, the different of the Liberal bunch and continued what Gough Whitlam left off until 1983, when ALP wins again. Later in 1996, John Howard won the election and became dictator of Australia in 2004 and crushed all opposition to the Liberals[2]. He was overthrown in 2007 by Kevin Rudd, who then proclaimed as Chairman of the ALP.

Creation of the PRA[edit | edit source]

The poster of Kevin Rudd. Julia Gillard's face is now plastered over.

With Dear Leader[3] in power, he decided to go on a spending spree to make Australia glorious. When the Depression a.k.a. Global Financial Crisis happened in 2008, Dear Leader Kevin Rudd lead the way by getting everyone to spend to prevent Australia from falling into recession. Kevin Rudd is so successful in saving Australia that he is congratulated by the Americans. At the same time, Australia implemented a filter that will be online by 2011. It will feed children lies and crush all freedom of speech protect children. In 2009, the Education Revolution was implemented as part of Dear Leader's First Three-Year Plan under his 1+1=3 slogan. The Education Revolution saw a massive increase in building schools and getting every child to school. School textbooks are published to show Kevin Rudd's great achievements and not the lies spread by the Australian Greens that say that the ALP is a dictatorship.

No money has been wasted and no one is killed in the revolution. In 2010, after several controversies and a racist act on calling Chinese as "rat-fuckers", Julia Gillard was chosen to become premier to replace Kevin Rudd and sworn in as the first female Premier of the People's Republic of Australia. Rudd was later purged by Gillard[4]. To reduce the rapidly increasing population rate, Julia Gillard enacted the Sustainable Population Policy, which reduces the number of applicants to become Australian citizens to just two a month, following China's One Child Policy rule. This angered rebel leader Tony Abbott by labelling her as "barren by choice" and wants families to have only a few kids. Feminists and Gillard herself denounced Abbott's remarks as "anti-woman" and "does not belong to the 21st Century".[5] Today, the PRA is an emerging superpower, with a large labour force and a large capital force. By 2050, Gillard's projections shows that Australia will have 35 million under Gillard.

Military[edit | edit source]

The Australians have the world's second biggest force with 2,000,000 members: The Australian People's Liberation Army (APLA), which is divided into the APLA Ground Force, APLA Navy and APLA Air Force. They have a long history of fighting wars, from the Boer War in 1899 to the recent Iraq War and the war in Afghanistan. The military plan can range from hilarious to outright insane at times. The current weapons spending for Australia is the 14th largest in the world, with more than half of it going to artilleries.

During the First World War, the Australians were sent to Gallipoli to defeat the Ottoman Empire and raid their stocks of ottomans and control the business. However, the mission failed, so they were sent to fight against the Germans in the Somme, which is a cold, dark place. In Winter 1916, most of the Anzacs have their legs, hands, fingers and even noses frozen and frostbitten. The Anzacs were remembered for their bravery and courage. When the Anzacs- most of them dead- returned to Australia at the end, they were treated as heroes and were celebrated as such. The dead ones are buried with honour in the location of a battle, in most cases being in France.[6] But the Second World War came and Australia faced a new enemy- the Japanese, with their Hello Kitty battleships and planes bombarding Darwin and taking many Australians as prisoners of war.[7] Again, the Aussies showed courage.

The APLA People's Armed Police is the branch of the APLA that replaced the Australian Federal Police. The APLA People's Armed Police, or APLAPAP as it is known, is responsible for maintaining law and order, spying on the internet, inspecting containers for drugs and national defense.

The weapons used in the APLA include:

  • Emos
  • Chinese-made assault rifles
  • Norinco Type 56 (AK47 wannabe)
  • SA80 L86

Economy[edit | edit source]

Glorious Leader Julia leading the Western Bulldogs in the AFL.

The economy of the PRA mostly revolves on mining and agriculture, with tourism and manufacturing being placed second priority. The PRA's economy is strictly controlled and operated by the state. In 2008, Kevin Rudd announced the Fair Work economic reforms[8] passed the Fair Work Act to allow the government to control and manage the PRA's economy. At the same time, heavy taxes are put in place in order to waste on junkets and shit programs that bound to failplace rapid growth of Australia's economy. Julia Gillard discontinued all of Kevin Rudd's reforms and initiated the Second Three-Year Plan, which involves rapid growth of the economy and better co-operation between unions and businesses.

After the economic disaster of the Education Revolution, the PRA began to embrace capitalism. Reformist Julia Gillard misquoted as saying "I don't support a big Australia" when she actually meant "Don't you stuff it up Rudd! I put you up as a Foreign Affairs minister to prevent any further stuff-ups. And as for you Mr Burke, you are now in charge of sustainable population of Australia".[9] Gillard's advice worked, Kevin Rudd was purged, Gillard was able to make a deal with miners and made a pledge to implement a two-child policy. She also promised a democratic election on August 2010 to compete agains Tony Abbott, leader of the Liberal Democratic Party, a party that was banned in 2007 after Rudd took over as prime minister.

Contrary to popular belief, Holden cars are not made in Australia. The only things proven to be made in Australia include steel, toys, clothes and American flags. Common manufactured goods include poisoned chocolate sourced from China and asylum seekers.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. Actually, federated
  2. He tried to take away our freedom of having a job!
  3. Kevin Rudd, not Kim Jong-Ill
  4. Rudd never existed. -Julia Gillard, committed Marxist
  5. Critics of Gillard denounced her remarks as hypocritical as Abbott has three daughters.
  6. It also explains why many French could rememeber Australia, but not Poland.
  7. You should know most of this by now
  8. See Perestroika
  9. That was actually true, but it is funny anyway.

See Also[edit | edit source]