User talk:Under user/Archive 22

I'm not here

I'll leave it to someone else to spoil your nice talkpage. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:44, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Blap

/me shakes myself off and zips up/ So teh econemy eh? bit of a pisser?    Orian57    Talk   09:54 4 August 2009

My turn now!

<small>penis</small> Pup t 10:52, 4/08/2009

Moar UnBooks

Groovy feature, I'll have to write another UnBook soon... also congrats on the sprog:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:30, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

So, um, PEEING?

Where do I sign up? On the Fresh Stains or the Membership Requests? And, also, I read your archive details. And I think "whatever-no one reads these anyway", should be changed to "whatever-Nameable reads these anyway". Nameable • mumble? 15:53, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

PS. Oh, so it's some code thing that changes the colours! Ingenious. I just thought you were really indecisive. Nameable • mumble? 15:53, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Personally I look forward to them. Just to see if you mention me.    Orian57    Talk   15:59 6 August 2009

Yes, you better mention me going mad on your next archive info thing, Orian. Have decided just to put my name under Membership Requests. Nameable • mumble? 18:40, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh no, if you're in, as UU said. you're a fresh stain just sing on the line and we'll be around in three weeks to collect our first payment.    Orian57    Talk   18:45 6 August 2009

And I mean sing, don't just hum.    Orian57    Talk   18:46 6 August 2009

Oh, when you wrote sing, I assumed you misspelt sign, but now I know. Do people mind if I sing "All Things Bright And Beautiful?" Or is that not, you know, stainy enough? Nameable • mumble? 18:54, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Too saintly. "Through the Fire and the Flames" will do nicely.    Orian57    Talk   19:46 6 August 2009

And, would you like an ear for your first payment, or a kidney? Nameable • mumble? 18:55, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Kindney. Can grow ears now.    Orian57    Talk   19:46 6 August 2009

Kindney: antonym of "angry knee" Pup t 21:09, 16/08/2009

I'm fairly disappointed

That you didn't fix my grammar on the front page blurbs or applauded me for the "Prisoner" reference. Shame on you. ~ 08:12, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I has beened busy and ill. Again. Hardly been on this month so far. I shall, however, duly hang my head in shame. --UU - natter 08:21, Aug 7

Swine flu? ~ 08:38, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Given that I can haul myself from my bed and mooch around the house: no. I know people who have had it, and if you have it, you really know about it. I have a temperature, and feel like my brain is swelling but my skull is contracting, which is about the best description I can give of it. I am, however, fairly sure you can't catch it over the interwebs though. --UU - natter 08:42, Aug 7

Get well soon, UU. The missus and I had a similar 'flu a couple of months back - she went to the doctor (I didn't, being a bloke) who told her it might be swine 'flu but it's hard to tell in the case of young, healthy people. It lasted for about two and a half weeks but when it did get better it did so very quickly: I went to bed feeling awful, woke up the next day absolutely fine. So keep your spirits up, and get some chicken soup in you if you can (it really does work). Ginger's good too - nag a relative to go out and get you some ginger tea. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:07, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Most certainly chickensoup. Get well soon! ~ 09:08, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

People often say, "Acupuncture may not be scientifically proven, but people have been using it for 4000 years so there's got to be something in it." Chicken soup (preferably with lokshen noodles) is much the same - plus my grandmother swore by it, and you'd have to be insane to argue with a mentalist like her. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:27, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I haven't been that bad folks, no sweats, aching bones, sneezes and the like, just a serious lack of energy. Don't think it was a 'flu, just a virus. But everyone ill these days has to have swine flu, if you listen to our office manager - I think they were disinfecting my phone and laptop keypad after I called in sick, which probably tells you all you need to know about my office. Still, thanks for the sentiments - but I really don't like chicken soup. I've been on the Heinz Tomato. With bread and marmite to dip in - now that'll do you good! --UU - natter 19:35, Aug 8

OG Percival

Have a look at the picture man should be pretty obvious who OG Percival is but he's called OG Percival in this article rather then his real name because it's an old joke about him growing up in an upper-middle class environment and then rapping, claiming to be from a brooklyn ghetto. --– Preceding unsigned comment added by Dr Greenthumb (talk • contribs)

And yet, somehow, it wasn't obvious to me or the other user who brought it to my attention. Maybe the people who've heard that old joke might get it, but most people wouldn't, at a guess. We see a hell of a lot of articles on here that are written by people about their friends. You wouldn't believe how often we see that kind of thing. If the name rings no bells with us, or with Google, and isn't really obvious what it's about, it gets deleted on principle. This looked like it could have been written about a kid you know - and the pics don't make it obvious - someone on here recently used a load of pictures of The Big Show in an article about a girl he knew. You could easily be saying your friend is a Vanilla Ice wannabe, do you follow me?

Now, I'll go take another look at it (I can do that) and if it looks like you're telling the truth, I'll restore it to your userspace, and the first thing you can do with it there is figure out how to stop people like me getting the wrong end of the stick. Oh, and use the 4 tildes to sign talk page messages please, like this: ~~~~. --UU - natter 18:22, Aug 10

Nope, I've looked - to me, it looks like you have a beef with some Wikipedia admin or other. That's how it reads to me. Again: convince me otherwise. --UU - natter 18:23, Aug 10

Lets Have a Conversation About How You're Old and I've Still got Most of My Youth to Waste

I feel it may be productive. You know learn from your elders 'n shit.    Orian57    Talk   18:13 10 August 2009

Hey Orian, do you want to go jump some hurdles and maybe smoke some weed afterwards? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:14, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Yea-- No. Actually. I don't do excersise or drugs.    Orian57    Talk   18:15 10 August 2009

And you call yourself youth. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 18:19, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, at least I wasted my youth properly, by getting wasted and stuff. By the way, TKF, try taking a large lungful of "medicinal" herbs, holding it in, then jumping those hurdles, and then exhaling. That makes it more interesting... --UU - natter 18:26, Aug 10

Oh that's it. Laugh it up. I don't want to be the bad boy anyway. I want to be the innocent virgin dressed all in white who the bad boy takes advantage of. Also is Jumping hurdles a euphemism? Because I honestly thought TKF meant hurdles. And if it is a euphemism am I allowed to reconsider?    Orian57    Talk   18:41 10 August 2009

Can you be old and still be a bad boy? Pup t 09:09, 11/08/2009

It's no euphemism I've ever heard of, although it probably is one somewhere in the world. I just mean if you take a really big toke on a joint then do something particularly strenuous while holding the smoke in your lungs, it gets you incredibly caned very quickly, and can also make you throw up and feel quite ill. I ascertained this after careful, scientific experiment. --UU - natter 11:25, Aug 11

Cool. Just to de rail the conversation, I like shit like this:

   Orian57    Talk   15:45 11 August 2009

That's 3 minutes of my life that I will never get back, thanks Orian. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:02, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

But it's three minutes that you can't spend sinning so you should thank me.    Orian57    Talk   20:10 11 August 2009

That was the most glorious 3 minutes of the my life, thanks Orian. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Did neither of you watch the last four seconds. They're teh best.    Orian57    Talk   20:24 11 August 2009

Really? I thought the end was a huge letdown. I mean, that whole "Hey, baby, you can sail my ship" line went nowhere. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:30, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah but shut up anyway because I was only saying.    Orian57    Talk   20:31 11 August 2009

This is a knife! --ChiefjusticeDS 20:57, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

I can see why you like it - they can't spell either ("apealing"? That's appalling...) Beyond that, I can't see why you like it. --UU - natter 10:15, Aug 13

YOU DAMN KIDS LEAVE UNDER USER ALONE! Kids today, eh UU? Maybe if they had grown up rewinding cassettes so they could hear their favorite song instead of just hitting the back button on their ipods, they might have an attention span. Then maybe they'd be able to make proper talkpage jokes instead if these "witty" "one-liners" they seem to be so "fond" of these "days". Anyways, don't forget the Bridge game is on Thursday this week because Ernest's got to have his bowels flushed on Friday. -Fellow Old Coot

Hey! Grandad, can I borrow some money?    Orian57    Talk   21:32 11 August 2009

Never mind that, Opty. If they had to "play" their "computer" "games" by loading them from a "tape", complete with noisy sounds as the "computer" "decrunches" and "compiles" the code, and three out of any given five times the screen "freezes" and you have to "re-load" the whole damn thing again - all just to play something as sophisticated as "Chuckie Egg". Now that teaches patience. As to you, young Orian - you can borrow a farthing from my collection of pre-decimalisation currency. Don't spend it all at once, now! --UU - natter 10:15, Aug 13

I thought you owned a 360? they're slow noisy heaps of tech. Noisy esspecially, can hear mine running from downstairs. Anywhoo, ta for the vote on top of the month and the farthing. I'll treasure them forever.    Orian57    Talk   11:39 13 August 2009

Having owned a Sinclair ZX Spectrum 48k, a BBC Model B Micro, a Commodore C64 and a Commodore Amiga, I will never, ever complain about a console game taking too long to load. You really, really don't know how easy you have it, young 'un. --UU - natter 12:01, Aug 13

You ever heard the weird al song "when I was your age?"    Orian57    Talk   12:03 13 August 2009

You ever hear the Buzzcocks song "I Don't Mind"? --UU - natter 12:26, Aug 13

no. And answering a question with a question is considered rude in some cultures. Irritating in others.    Orian57    Talk   12:28 13 August 2009

Persistently forcing me to correct your spelling is considered very irritating by me. So what's your point? *sigh* - Yes I have heard that song. I thought it was one of his weaker ones, and obviously heavily "inspired" by this:

--UU - natter 12:34, Aug 13

Oh yeah... But regardless, there's very few Weird Al's that I don't like. He's probably over all one of my humour influences. And the spelling thing. If you corrected my mistakes in a different colour I might notice and learn. As is I just don't notice. And now for something completley different:

It's stupid but also sort of brilliant. Plus there's a really good line in there.    Orian57    Talk   12:52 13 August 2009

*Cough* Completely.. Nameable • mumble? 09:47, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

YEAH FUCK YOU!!!    Orian57    Talk   15:36 14 August 2009

Weird Al is a legend, that I can't deny. Also, I chuckled at that vid more than I'd care to admit - I think you may be finding my level (that or it's friday afternoon and my standards are low). Now, I request your opinion, young Orian, on this. Boomer's reviewed it, I'm just after an opinion, same as you so often are from me. It's not your kind of thing at all, so your opinion is just what I'm after! Thoughts? --UU - natter 14:58, Aug 14

Marvaloius darliing    Orian57    Talk   15:36 14 August 2009

Oh bloody hell - I wasn't expecting that - I honestly don't think it will do well on there at all (watch the "too English" votes roll in). But thanks, glad you like it. --UU - natter 15:40, Aug 14

I thought it was really good though. Made me giggle lots. And while we're exchanging opinions I need some drive to finish this zombie related article that is on no way similar to that other one I wrote. And yes the introduction is awful.    Orian57    Talk   15:45 14 August 2009

Drive eh? How about "finish it or I'll ban you?" Actually, I am the last one in my office now, and it's a friday, so I am off home. I will take a look when I get time, promise. But for now, tatty byes! --UU - natter 16:16, Aug 14

Okies. Have a fun night/weekend.    Orian57    Talk   16:19 14 August 2009

And I'm just dropping by to say, "Toy-Box rocks!" MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:21, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Don't they just? I mean this is the only song of tehirs I've listend to but it's pretty amazing.    Orian57    Talk   20:20 14 August 2009

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!

Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump By Bad Shroom Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on Public Access Channel 2!

Check out these pages! The 18th Quadrennial Slut List Obama Tosses the Patriot Act at Uncyclopedia STFU, N00B!! From our logs: 08:49, 31 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a flat cap and a whippet ‎(tha's callin' us lazy, lad? sithee 'ere, I were down t'pit 36 hours a day for tuppence when tha were nobbut a lad!) 02:40, 1 August 2009 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Nah, it wasn't so bad. Your nakedness totally made up for it.) 02:01, 5 August 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.14.52.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, you tell that "Jacob" what you really think about him! Now that you've told him off on a random website online you'll be the coolest one of your friends. You are such a badass.) Biopic of the Week Like most of the dozens of Uncyclopedians that hail from Norwell, Massachusetts, The UnIdiot is awesome. Perhaps most well known for his high quality journalism, he has also branched out into public service announcements and novelized fiction. We don't know what the deal with Norwell is; probably something to do with the water. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Water powered bus is the most prominent mode of public transportation in rainy cities such as Seattle and London, and also underwater cities like Atlantis and New Orleans. Invented in 1954 by Sir Henry Bus, the water powered bus is capable of maintaining speeds between 'brisk gentlemanly walk' and 'brisk gentlemanly trot' for up to ten minutes. Cajek Update of the Fortnight Noted funnyman Cajek was recently spotted announcing his presence and simultaneously his lack of activity. However, he was also sighted vandalizing signatures and driving in a reckless manner, with a crumpet in his hand and a groundhog on his lap, respectively.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:21, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for helping make Six Hats a feature...

...and this is where I'm supposed to have made a really exciting template, but it's easier for me to just write this once and then cut and paste it a bunch of times. Pup t 09:31, 11/08/2009 It's good to know that someone else appreciates my British sense of humour!

Thanks

Our appreciation is not easily earned.

But you have achieved what few others ever manage:
The respect of the
Kosher Nostra.
You can rest assured that you henceforth enjoy our protection,
our support and a bed free of beheaded bagel crumbs.
La Kosher Nostra.

---

Thanks!

The doctor will see you now Oh, by the way, before we begin today's session, I'd like to thank you for supporting my recent featured article. Now, tell me about your childhood.--You know what the music means... Our time is up.

What a nice chap!

Morning. :) MrN 09:34, Aug 12

You do seem to get more of those hate edits than me - despite my best snarky ban comments. Is it my winning smile? --UU - natter 09:38, Aug 12

One day I hope to get as many as Codeine... :-) MrN 09:40, Aug 12

Also...

# (diff) (hist) . . m Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Don Martin‎; 09:41 . . (+9,209) 
. . PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk | contribs | block)

Now I remember a while back what Pee Review was like... MrN 09:43, Aug 12

Meanwhile, I personally haven't done a review in over a month for the first time since 2007. I hang my head in shame. Glad there's a few active reviewers sharing the load a little at the moment, it is very nice to see. --UU - natter 09:47, Aug 12

Size isn't important... oh hang on a second, yes it is </smugness> Pup t 10:00, 12/08/2009

More Undead Thanksplate!

Doug would like to thank you! Again! For Helping him and little Emily get through the inconvenient zombie apocalypse! And be the best article of July 09!

Well not more, but you know. Thanks none the less. And you were so wrong about TMS. It's got 14 fors and no againsts.    Orian57    Talk   18:32 15 August 2009

Fifteen.    Orian57    Talk   18:34 15 August 2009

I saw an against... Pup t 00:09, 16/08/2009

But then it went away, so it doesn't count. Also it got a 16th vote and was then featured. I love proving people wrong.    Orian57    Talk   00:16 16 August 2009

Oh, it's good to see that you enjoy proving people wrong. But I think that the person who cast that changing vote might be a little upset to know that you feel that their opinion didn't count.

And given the page I'm on. "Do you know what there doing? Their looking for they're clothes over their. Their never going to find it they're. Wear do you think that their going to find something to we're. Where going to the clothes shop their." Pup t 00:33, 16/08/2009

Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng. --UU - natter 08:22, Aug 16

Orian: just goes to show what I know, huh? Just occasionally, I am pleased to be wrong. --UU - natter 08:22, Aug 16

Bet you're not. Bet your seething. Angry that you never even got a chance to even create sockpuppets to vote against and keep the article out of the limelight. I mean I hope you are, I didn't nom it cos I liked it. ;) Also no rush on the opinion front, I've already decided I need to re-write Stereotype Because it's a big giant shit heap of truth. So you're opinion on that would be good. Not to mention the other two aren't working out very well in my head.    Orian57    Talk   19:01 16 August 2009

Hey Orian, this picking on UU thing IS fun, you were right after all! Pup t 21:07, 16/08/2009

Oh yeah, You shouldn't have doubted me you tiny little new zealander with hairy feet.    Orian57    Talk   21:10 16 August 2009

Thanks—the remake

You hear that, Mr Anderson? That is the sound of inevitable Matrix references. It is the sound of a quote from an irrelevant film, but you quoted it first.

Thank you for supporting! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:17 16 Aug 2009]

I think the Matrix remake in 2018 with Zak Efron will be even lamer, but even more inevitable. --UU - natter 12:32, Aug 17

So yeah

I came out of the weekend with only one clear conclusion. "Public Enemies"? Don't Just don't. Wasted 140 minutes of my life. ~ 08:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Really? I kinda liked it, in a "too much style, not enough substance, no really well defined characters, but still has a really good shootout in the woods" kinda way. --UU - natter 08:46, Aug 17

Oh, the styling and the shooting was very good. But the story? Where is the story? ~ 09:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh I agree with you there - that's the "not enough substance" bit. It was like a very frothy cream bun - light, and kind of enjoyable, but nowhere near enough to keep you satisfied for any length of time. --UU - natter 09:43, Aug 17

I no can has blocks?

Or opinions? Although I can understand if you can't keep up with what I want opinions on. You're getting old after all and pregnancy can really run you through, from what I hear.    Orian57    Talk   09:03 17 August 2009

I has work. I have just been in a meeting for a while. I'm also trying to sell my house, and have to leave work early today, so have to cram my work into a shorter time. Looks like I'm skipping lunch again. Plus there's loads of pees left to check, etc etc... I promised I'd have a look, and I will. When I can. I look forward to when you have a job, and you start, slowly, to understand... --UU - natter 09:36, Aug 17

Oh geeze, that sounds horribly stressful. No rush then. I'll probably have changed my mind by next week anyway.    Orian57    Talk   09:49 17 August 2009

Yeah - they say two of the most stressful things you can do are to have a child and to move house. So let's do 'em at the same time! Yay! Also, I looked at your stereotyping thing, and spotted your problem straight away: you don't have enough content. My suggestion, therefore, is to add more content. Am I good to you or what? --UU - natter 12:27, Aug 17

I will leave you all my money and worldly possessions in my will

You are awesome in every conceivable fashion and I kowtow to your superior intellect. Pup t 11:56, 17/08/2009

I fixed your spelling. I wasn't entirely sure of some of the words, but I hope that conveys the spirit of what you meant to say. --UU - natter 12:30, Aug 17

I would never use a word like kowtow - don't know what it means Pup t 17:03, 17/08/2009

yeah I wondereredid about that one too.    Orian57    Talk   17:07 17 August 2009

Dicking around on your talk page because I'm bored.

Hey, UU! How is pregnancy treating Mrs. User? In a related note, do you enjoy Heartburn? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:30, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Afternoon Woody. Mrs UU is doing OK, but running out of clothes that fit her. In a related note, if I see Mnbvcxz on this page, I may kill him to be on the safe side. Also, heartburn? Er, I don't normally get it because I eat my food sensibly instead of wolfing it down. Does that help? --UU - natter 14:35, Aug 17

The boredom? Only if I can get you to keep talking.

Well, how many months is she? I would think that the cloths stop fitting fairly early on, what with the swelling. And the bloating. Oh, and the massive, massive weight gain. On a related note, a cheer for being men! Hip Hip! And if that preggo man does come-a-knocking, I think a swift kick in the groin might do the trick. Murder is only a second option, we must adhere to this rule. Also, I don't get heartburn myself, but I can promise you there is nothing sensible about how I eat food. (whatever I mean by that, even I don't know.) Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:54, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

How many months? C'mon, you're the one who raised the cheer for being men. About three-ish, probably? And when you become an admin, they change the rulebook. They lock you in the back of the Mordillomobile, blindfold you, and take you on a secret journey to the non-existent cabal headquarters, where they burn the new rules into your brain. Then they pay for your taxi home. Because of that, you're right, murder is not an option - it's called "permanent removal". --UU - natter 15:04, Aug 17

Ah yes. I had forgotten about the permanent removal strategy....or had I? I've got what's left of my good eye on you, UU. Best to look out. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:23, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

I feel very sorry for whatever's left of that eye, myself. --UU - natter 15:31, Aug 17

In an unrelated note, I'm doing the USP for last week since Gerry is gone. Did he ask me? Not so much. But I've just got that amazing go-gettum attitude that you admins want from us apparently, so I'm putting it together. Could I perhaps get a quote from you on the obvious drop in quality that is sure to follow in my footsteps? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a "revolting" door. Oh yeah - I went there.

Also, if you need a hand with anything, give me a shout. --UU - natter 15:31, Aug 17

Thank you

--Killer 3.14 11:26, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

mmmm... cheesecake

So you got yourself in a battle, eh, grandad? You know it's not the civil war anymore, you can't just go around battling people. Also on a completely serious note, Mr Killer 3.14, do you have any idea how annoying it was to close all those small tags?    Orian57    Talk   11:57 18 August 2009

Especially when more than 2 of them is pointless anyway... And now, Mr Orian, have you followed my very helpful advice up there yet? --UU - natter 12:08, Aug 18

I will when I'm writing it again. And, the battle? What's it about? Did you initiate it with a white glove?    Orian57    Talk   12:43 18 August 2009

Oh, you know, with my +137 sword of adminly smitingness I did verily sort some shit out. Or something like that. --UU - natter 13:00, Aug 18

Aw. I just had visions of you - or my image of you, hacking up some cuban drug lord in a bond style battle scene beofre the guns come out.    Orian57    Talk   13:02 18 August 2009

NO U!    Orian57    Talk   13:15 18 August 2009

-Who?--Killer 3.14 15:21, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

HEY! Blame Led. It was his fault.

Did I screw up? Sure, but only AFTER trying to fix Led's mistakes. So, by banning me, you are telling me that fixing mistakes, and site maintenance is a bad thing (also, probably spelling in that sentence.). I, personally, expected more from you, Mr. Greater-Than-Thou admin. Plus blaming Led for everything is totally in now. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:31, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

No, I'm blaming you for edit conflicting me when I was going to fix it properly first time through. Also, I'm not greater-than-thou in the wide sense of everybody, I'm just greater-than-thou in the specific sense of you, The Woodburninator. And as such, I rarely give you what you expect. --UU - natter 15:36, Aug 18

Good ole' edit conflicting with a side of failure. Perhaps it is I who is keeping you on edge by always doing the unexpected....namely, failure. You would think that one day I might actually figure all of this coding stuff out, but nae. Always with the failure. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:42, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that just got hijacked by Woody and Ape. Mwhahahaha!

Date August 13th, 2009 • Issue 60 • Taking the News, Making it Better

UnSignpost Editor Disappears; UnSignpost Suffers Mysterious Drop in Quality By The Woodburninator August 10, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy. Gerrycheevers, the UnSignpost's handsome, talented, and, often times, only editor announced his leave of absence in order to head west, and make a name for himself. In an UnSignpost Exclusive, Gerry talked at length about his final destination and the exciting journey he expects. "[I'll be heading to] north dakota. [I reckon I'll take the famous Oregon Trail, driving a horse and buggy, herding cattle, planting seeds of injustice wherever I may.]" How long this move out west will take is unknown by all but our best psychics, and since Gerry has them trained to bite anyone who come near, we'll go with Gerry's approximate date of August 21. If all of our readers miss Gerry (and we have a feeling that, one paragraph in, you already do), please drop him a line. Tell him how much he is missed. Tell him that if he ever leaves again, we won't be so forgiving. Just tell him something. We don't want to have to do this without him again. In an unrelated note, the UnSignpost - usually a shining example of grammatical correctness, good spelling, and hilarity - seems to have hit a drop in quality for this week's issue. The reasons for these changes seem to be a mystery to everyone. As far as we can tell, the problems that have arisen are completely arbitrary. The reasons for this change in quality have been the talk of the community this week. Some have suggested the recent meteor shower has caused an influx of gamma radiation into our atmosphere, creating a negative energy all over the Earth, and thus causing our writing abilities to falter. Under User stupidly blamed all of this on the change in editors, saying "Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a 'revolting' door." Bastard. Uncyclopedian creates Trivia Bot, ruins everything By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Popular Uncyclopedian Electric mocha something-or-other, also known as EMC, this week unveiled his latest creation: a trivia bot for the Uncyclopedia IRC Channel. The bot, named "UncycTrivia", stands at over seven feet tall and is made exclusively from red crayons. Seemingly, its only function is to spout random nonsense under the guise of trivia questions and then demand answers, awarding points to whoever manages to guess the random word or phrase it considers the answer. EMC let loose his bot on the nerds, perverts and middle-aged alcoholics of #uncyclopedia, leading to even less constructive conversation then usual. Instead, the channel is mostly filled with dozens of people shouting random words in the hopes of being awarded meaningless points. Some, however, have pointed out that the only real difference between this and the way things were before is the awarding of points. Not content with destroying one channel, however, EMC subsequently decided to bring his bot to ##turtle,the exciting new channel with the dubious honour of being "the BHOP of IRC" (but with less Bad Shroom), which also served as a staging post for a recent troll invasion of Yahoo! Answers. EMC was unavailable for comment when I was throwing this piece together in five minutes. He is presumed to be sitting in a cave somewhere stroking his large red crayon and laughing dementedly. New Editors Have Trouble Matching up Left and Right Sides By The Woodburninator In a startling development, the newest editors of the UnSignpost are proving to be quite inept at lining up the left and right sides of Post's template. It seems that our penchant for placing more and more boxes on the right side of the page has defeated the natural aesthetic of the Post's two-even-sides strategy. While this is a problem, it does seem to be fixable. Namely, by adding this headline and story. Is this just an obvious cry for help, that we are unable to do this without Gerry? Probably. But since our hostile takeover has proven quite successful unstoppable so far, we would disagree.

Check out these pages! International fucking of sorts Wikipedia gets uglier! Racist apes demand equal pay From our logs: 14:17, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.165.47.133 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Who is Ed and why should is he better than me?) 14:18, 10 August 2009 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fuck you, me, stop proving that guy's point with your horrible horrible ban reasons) 15:30, 8 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (beating me to a ban, and using a boring ban reason when you got there. honestly, I spend seconds on a ban reason, only to find it's wasted. gnurph!) Biopic of the Week Perhaps the finest research analyst from Boston that Uncyclopedia has ever seen, Gerrycheevers is among one of the most awarded users on the site. He has performed the rare feat of capturing Every single major monthly Award this site has to offer, plus NotM too. Add that to his 21.5 features, the class and dignity with which he has won them all, and his constant efforts as the main editor of the UnSignpost, it would seem that the reign of Cheevers is just begining. That is if he ever gets back here. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Little boy who lives down the street is a child who lives down the street that no other children have ever seen. (And no-one knows his name either...) This is because the child has died, in several fashions, over and over again, the subject of which is constantly being brought up by your Mother and/or Grandmother when they’re explaining why you cannot do something that you really want to do. VFD vote of the week "With the exception of Bruce Lee, these people are the least funniest people who have ever lived. Why people continue to cream their jeans over them for their supposed god-like abilities, I can't figure that out. Delete. Delete. Delete. Sakujo. Delete this massive faggotry. These people ain't bad THEY AIN'T NOTHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Roman Dog Bird 04:27, 13 August 2009 (UTC) Sannse Trivia (from UncycTrivia) Q: Sannse moved to San Francisco because she is a ______ (hint: it starts with an "L") A: Liberal Actually, now we need another box. Woody, you fucking idiot.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  21:34, Aug 18

You are imperfect!

Tihs nullifries you'r're write to complanw! aboooooooooot my spallung!    Orian57    Talk   06:33 20 August 2009

Not really - I've never really bought into the convention about capitalising days - and it's certainly nowhere near the likes of using "too" in place of "to", or selecting the wrong there/their/they're or whatever. Enjoy your vicarious victory-by-proxy if you think it will afford you any crumb of comfort, but don't for one minute think I'm bovvered... --UU - natter 08:19, Aug 20

But-- That isn't fair! You're a meanie! Or Meany. Whichever!    Orian57    Talk   08:23 20 August 2009

Got you by the bollocks now ya spelling Nazi!

I must congratulate you they're lager!    Orian57    Talk   11:42 20 August 2009

Took you a while - Cajek had that picture of a toad on my userpage within a couple of hours - you're here bringing it up how many months later? You really are struggling to find evidence of my fallibility. It's almost touching. The point, my young pup, is that the occasional typo occurs - to err is human, particularly before bedtime - but dropping several spelling clangers per post gets a tad wearisome. Savvy? --UU - natter 13:18, Aug 20

Hey, Orian.... ORIAN!!! pssssst

Top Block. *whistles, walks away* Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:16, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

I think the one from May 13 is quite interesting too. --UU - natter 14:21, Aug 20

Yeah... what was my fault? I can't remember. I hope it was something good. Also your may 13th ban made me giggle. You're all just part of the Facist Hetrosexul Orthadoxy. (Mispelling intentional. It's a joke you'll only understand if you've watched Queer as Folk really closely, or listened to the commentery.)    Orian57    Talk   08:11 25 August 2009

Rumour has it...

...that while I was away, you managed to get pregnant! -- Little Pink Sock 08:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

He's just trying to prove your guide wrong.    Orian57    Talk   08:31 20 August 2009

I think I should just sigh, breathe deep, close my eyes and count to ten before I go check what's making the thing in the crib cry... Again. -- Little Pink Sock 08:37, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Probably just the cat. At least it isn't hungry anymore.    Orian57    Talk   08:42 20 August 2009

CAT? -- Little Pink Sock 08:48, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Or dog.    Orian57    Talk   08:52 20 August 2009

Well, someone in my regular immediate vicinity, at least. Yup, Mrs UU will be unleashing a mini-admin some time in feb, if all goes well. After your sparkling advert, how could I resist? ;-) --UU - natter 09:06, Aug 20

Wait, what? S/He's gonna be born with admin powers! That is not fair, s/he should have to be elected like every other admin! I mean it.    Orian57    Talk   09:10 20 August 2009

*goes misty eyed* Can't wait to see his/her first ban...

• 03:35, 20 August 2010 JUUnior (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(ga ga ban lol)

*sigh* --UU - natter 09:22, Aug 20

So s/he's starting when s/he's six months two weeks and three days old? That's eerily precise.    Orian57    Talk   09:25 20 August 2009

“ It shall be a She, and her nickname shall be Howler from Hell. ”

Or something like that. I never claimed to have any precognitive abilities... You can have mine for practice purposes. Please, take it! I haven't slept much all week. It's a really cute bundle with some good attempts in breaking eardrums on her sleeve. I wonder if we were all this bad when teething. -- Little Pink Sock  21:09, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Trying to recall last time that a piece of bone pushed it's way through a cluster of nerves for myself... Having a little difficulty, but I'm sure I cried. In a manly way of course. Pup t 22:08, 23/08/2009

Can't you just...

...remove the two articles InMooseWeTrust nominated for VFD from the queue, as it's clear he hasn't a clue what he's doing and has overstepped his bounds several times already? Also, his Pee reviews are the epitome of bad and unhelpful. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:21, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

What's the rush? They'll get kept by the vote unless the world has truly gone mad. then it's all nice and democratic, and he can't get huffy about it and accuse me of abusing adminly powers, which I suspect these taking-it-too-seriously WP types would do. As to the reviews, I'll get to those in due course - I have a metric fuckton of work to do right now, and was only popping in to do a little tidying while something compiled - wasn't planning on getting involved in anything! --UU - natter 14:26, Aug 20

Well, the thing is they by no stretch of the imagination belong on VFD to begin with. Articles that don't belong on VFH are typically dealt with quickly, so yeah. However, I sympathize with your metric fuckton of work to do, so I won't ask you to do anything drastic or anything. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:35, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Hello gentleman... I did done something that I probably wasn't supposed to, but I felt there was a wrong that had to be righted. Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unfomercials:Progressive Insurance - Bike insurance (2nd review) has been changed, and I've deleted the controversial old one. Given that the first was well below PEE standard, and there is precedent, I've acted within the spirit of PEE, but not within letter of the ruling. I apologise for stepping out of line, and what you choose to do from here is completely up to you. Pup t 12:09, 21/08/2009

A blast of wind is heard, as the good spaceship Serenity approaches your userpage ...

Yes! Thank you for supporting the Firefly article! <sarcasm style="obvious">Although, if I may, as the Browncoat who rewrote this article, my plan was really to have it fail VFH after 11 days, have it quasi-featured, start a "Feature Firefly" campaign, and eventually rewrite and have featured the article on Serenity (which is kind of in a mess at the moment).</sarcasm> But thanks anyway! Sir MacMania GUN—[03:06 23 Aug 2009]

The Misunderstood

Hey, Dude! Thanks for taking the time to carefully explain what needs to be done. I'll surely make all the changes you suggested. How can I go wrong? After it's updated I ask your opinion again. A lot of the humor was insider band-fan humor who have read the book, "Like, Misunderstood" on amazon.com. I was the singer who got drafted, and I became a fugitive in India for 12 years (that's the bridge, cause I was so sick of the (amazing) true story after a book and a script). The band didn't fail in music... we got simply FUCKED UP by Karma. Lucky we could record first, otherwise who would ever believe. Thanks again.--Funnybony 20:52, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

UN:VAIN? Pup t 20:59, 23/08/2009

UN:VAIN.    Orian57    Talk   21:47 23 August 2009

I dunno folks, they're notable enough to have their own Wikipedia page for starters, and I'm pretty sure I remember John Peel going on about them. And the page doesn't exactly read like vanity - we'll see how it pans out. --UU - natter 08:19, Aug 24

WHATEVER! It's just the bit at the top sounded like vanity. For what it's worth your last bit sounded like vanity. In fact this whole page looks like a series of vanity from vain people looking for your vain attention!    Orian57    Talk   08:46 24 August 2009

Agreed, although not a vehement agree. It might fit within the rules of vanity, but it is an article about self, for the aggrandisement of self, with the humour coming in well down the track. I'm not going to harp on about it - you're admin, you choose - but the idea of being able to write an article on my band, as long as I first write a wikipedia article on it, and tell you and a few other admins about it, and make sure that I spam a whole bundle of sites with it, just seems to be a teeny bit outside of the spirit. Pup t 10:09, 24/08/2009

Spam a whole bundle of sites? Man, they must have been working hard to backdate all those entries and the like - have a Google, this is a band form the Sixties... They're notable enough. I personally am more inclined to doubt that Funnybony was a member of the band, although given that at least one member seems to be active on WP, I guess anything's possible. If it's about a notable group, and it's not obvious self-aggrandisement, I think we let it stay - we'll see what happens after he takes the advice of the review. --UU - natter 10:30, Aug 24

Couldn't be buggered googling, and as I said I'm not going to harp on about it. As long as it ends up going through the funny test, then all is good. I guess my main thing is as long as we don't encourage vanity as a side effect, couldn't give a damn. As to Funnybony being in the band... given a few other things he's said, and the way he writes, either he's a compulsive liar, or he's had a really interesting life - jury's still out on that one. (No offence meant, Funnybony. I used to work in banking, I trust nobody!) Pup t 11:29, 24/08/2009

---As to cynical bank employees, I'll mention that I have not set foot in a bank in over 20 years. You know why? - Because I'm too rich and famous in Bangkok, and the President of the Biggest bank in Thailand is my business partner, plus with 30+ employees I have free time to write useless bull shit on this stupid site populated by small time bank employees, who, because of being small-time nobodies, cynically think the same of everyone else, and doubt exceptional people. Tut tut!--Funnybony 14:08, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

You don't exactly do yourself any favours with comments like that - we have fairly decent reason for doubting - it's easy to claim you are someone on the interwebs, harder to prove it. I myself am the lead guitarist from the Tygers of Pan Tang - go prove me wrong. And we get a lot of idiots on this site writing rubbish about themselves and their poxy band that hasn't even played the local pub yet - "Platinum Awesome Metal Gods are Toby and Mike who are 15 and from London and they will have teh biggest selling album in teh world next year and get loads and loads of groupies and secks" - that kind of thing. You see so many pages like that, you start getting suspicious, you dig? --UU - natter 15:23, Aug 25

---Hey, Dude, cool band name! - I have NO reason to doubt you at all. Do you have a MySpace Band page where I can hear you play? Wow!!! Lead guitar! My old friend Jeff Beck just got inducted into the Hall of Fame (for the 2nd time) this year. If you read books on Jeff's life you will surely find mention of Rick Brown (me) because we shared a flat and partied a lot in 1967.

Listen, there is counterfeit money out there, but that doesn't make me suspicious of all money. People are innocent until proved guilty. The reason you have bull-shit bands spamming you is because, unlike Wikipedia, you don't require 3rd party published quotes to verify with references. But I have given some real verifiable quotes in the article (just in case).

Writing these 20 articles I hoped I was helping Uncyclopedia. I don't like being viewed as a cheat or impostor. As you told that jerk, you heard it from John Peel himself (who was my dear friend and even roommate at one point). I'm not making a personal page here and I hope nobody does so. I'm just getting shit for helping Uncyclopedia.

And as to the reality of me, you can read the 566 page novel on amazon.com, or wait a couple years for the movie. Remember when we tease the Chinaman, unknown to us he might have a black belt in Gung Fu. You guys get bull-shit on your site, but don't blame me. Visit my user page and see how many articles I've written for FREE. Lighten up. You guys aren't Wikipedia. You're a "joke", remember?--Funnybony 16:11, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

You worked in a bank!? Australia has Money!? (THIS WAS A JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING (THE ECONOMY) OF WHICH I KNOW NOTHING, PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU ENJOYED THIS JOKE)    Orian57    Talk   08:05 25 August 2009

I don't know how they entrusted me with that much money either. There is an Unscript about working in a bank in amongst all my articles which is a work in progress (Good enough to publish, but waiting for another inspirational flash to really spruce it up.) Hehehe, Australian economy. Pup t 09:15, 25/08/2009

Yeah your countries wealth comes from looting the corpses.    Orian57    Talk   13:41 25 August 2009

--->The_Misunderstood Hi guys, here's an edited version after reading the Pee review. BTW: Wikipedia based it's original Music Section on the Book, "All Music Guide" and as The Misunderstood have a chapter, so Wikipedia had The Misunderstood page before I ever even heard of Wikipedia. They made the page. As for me, I was the very disappointed singer of the band because we didn't fail musically, we were screwed by the Vietnam War Draft. As to me, you can get the verifiable facts on Wikipedia if you look up "Richard Shaw Brown". I don't really appeal to envious cynics. But I really don't need more vanity. I have earned my dues. And I've written about 15 articles on Uncyclopedia besides about my old band. So listen to John Peel and DIG the Misunderstood. Thanks guys.--Funnybony 13:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

Watch your formatting there. New subheaders go under all of the last bit of conversation. Also sorry for the, er, misunderstanding.    Orian57    Talk   13:38 25 August 2009

Does that mean I have to apologise too? To be honest funnybony, I hate banks much more than you ever could - I'm not a fan of the American military, for example, but you have a much more personal reason to hate them. But think of it as a form of flattery - I'm trying to protect the reputation of the real you from being tarnished by some delusional fan-boy - it wouldn't be the first time. So I have difficulty apologizing for doing what I could to protect your reputation, but I am sorry if you took offence at what I said when trying to do that. Pup t 20:01, 25/08/2009

As an afterthought, are you writing your autobiography? Pup t 20:01, 25/08/2009

No worries, Mate! I've been writing articles for Uncyclopedia for 2 years, over 20 good articles, and only one is about my old group. But it seems all I ever get is shit as a reward. I had a book published in 1995, "Ancient Astrological Gemstones & Talismans" that received the PMA's "1996 Benjamin Franklin Award", but on Uncyclopedia I'm a moron, because I can't figure out if you guys are HTBFANJS or HTBSANJF. But, then again, a critics job is to be a critic. I have been keeping my cool, but the stuff you wrote was so far OFF the mark, as to be absurd.

Two books have been published about my band and the period from 1966-1979 during which I was a hunted fugitive for refusing to collect Dead Dick's in Vietnam. If they would have called a democratic vote in Nam, Uncle Ho would have won by a land-slide. End of story. So what was that goddamn war all about? Any way, we were an exceptional band and that makes it even worse. Check our classics on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/themisunderstood1966

The 1988 on the Misunderstood book is out of print, but the new book, based on the script, was published in the USA in 2007. It's called, "Like, Misunderstood" - available on amazon.com - OR, if you give me an email address, I can send you the identical eBook version as a 3MB pdf, for free. My pleasure. It's a hell of a ride.

The new book started as a script, but at 560 pages had to be converted into a novel. That has been reduced to a 110 page script which is complete and being edited in USA right now. There are a few "cats" interested in the motion picture, both in USA and in Thailand, and distribution is the key. But it's an amazing story. here's what Bruce Duff wrote, “The saga of the Misunderstood is one of the most unbelievable, heartbreaking, and unlikely stories in the entire history of rock.” ~ Creem Magazine, September 2004.

In any case the band was so bloody good and we came so far, all the way to London (from USA), and had serious major record deal, that my getting drafted was such a heart breaker, it's hard to even describe. But my 12 years on the run left me little time to feel sorry for myself. Now all the critics are raving about our 1966 records, and even last April, Mojo Magazine listed us for "M" in it's A-Z Top Bands list. Record Collector's book, "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records" lists The Misunderstood at #6, ahead of Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and most of the others. THAT IS HEAVY! So there is some satisfaction in all the honors coming our way these last 20 years, but nothing on Earth could ever make up for the loss of that band.

So I decided to make a joke about it, rather than be a bummer, and wrote The Misunderstood page here. Now I got good advice from UU so I have edited the lists and made the story more to real. I would appreciate any of you gods taking a look at the new version, and give me further guidance. And no need to apologize. I lost MY cool, and THAT is uncool. Thanks in advance--Funnybony 20:51, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

I've had a quick read through and it's looking much tighter. I'd be tempted to drop out some of the accolades, because that doesn't really add the funny. I'd also try and keep in mind that satire is, predominantly, parody for the purpose of instigating change - you have a unique view and as a result a unique opp--Funnybony 15:11, 26 August 2009 (UTC)ortunity to point out the stupidity in the Western worlds constant march to war, as long as it can be done in a humorous vein. Dead Dick is on it's way to doing that well, and the break up of Misunderstood for some fairly significant reasons could be used the same way. (And the poetic side of me is loving the irony of your band name and subsequent career.) Pup t 21:19, 25/08/2009

Thanks for the good advice. I have a good sense of humor, but not much experience as a satire writer, so it can only get better. I've been adopted my MrN so you know I have a good guide. Hey, bro! I already sent you the pdf novel. I hope you enjoy the wild ride, it just gets worse and worse (or better and better). Amazing to live through, actually.--Funnybony 00:08, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Mad props! I'm reading and re-reading your article. That usually means that I'm cooking something in my subconcious, so hopefully I'll have a bit more detailed feedback to be able to throw your way. Haven't had a chance to check out the pdf yet though. Pup t 00:52, 26/08/2009

Great! Now that you know the tragedy of the Misunderstood because of the Vietnam War (never mind that 2 million people were blown away too) so you're welcome and encouraged to go to town and edit as you like. I'm not attached to the way it reads as long as I know its getting better, and more absurd, because a bummer CAN be funny, otherwise, its a bummer, right?. So I'm really happy that you're getting into it. Because the ultimate theme is anti-war. Same with Dead Dick and My Lie and William Westmoreland. I never did anything great in life without partners. Everything I've even done was with help of others. Opps! I better "log in" to sign this, otherwise it'll look like this: 125.24.106.83 14:55, 26 August 2009 (UTC). The best way to make a bummer funny, is to call it a "bummer!"--Funnybony 15:11, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Here's an example of making a bummer funny. This is for all those poor suckers who got drafted in the name of freedom, just to satisfy the anti-teen bloodlust of SOB William Westmoreland, and who didn't have the guts to Just Say "Not". Not only NO, but HELL NO was my stance. After all, the Vietnamese were not attacking America or trying to make others into "Vietnamese" - they just wanted their bloody country back from cock-sucking France!!! - The VNamese were NOT "trying to rape my mother" or take over the USA. If someone attacks the USA then I'll come home even now, at age 62, just to help mothafuckin' Jack Bauer and Pee Wee Herman fight them off.--Funnybony 15:39, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

“You men from Bravo Company have extinguished yourselves in battle”

~ Gen. William Westmoreland addressing the two lone survivors of Hamburger Hill

• Anyone interested to see me on Thai TV? Click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiuu6pSLi5w

It's far from the first time. Not too bad.--Funnybony 19:05, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

You've shown up a few times on Youtube from Thai TV. Not that I'm stalking or anything, but I have to say that I love the way that you've decorated your front bathroom. One thing I just wanted to respond to was Now that you know the tragedy of the Misunderstood because of the Vietnam War... I'm well and truly Gen X, and a lot of the people reading this site are Gen Y. My generation tried to ignore everything the Baby Boomers did because... well, because it was the Baby Boomers that did them, and Gen Y try to ignore everything that anyone does that's not themself... or Paris Hilton for some strange reason. You tell most of these readers of the atrocities of war, and they'll say "Yeah, so what" unless they can put a face to them. This is not an atrocity, but it is a face to a tragedy, and hopefully a door into further understanding of the times. Whatever can potentially stop another Vietnam - or Iraq or Afghanistan war - no matter how purile, is worth persuing. Pup t 22:03, 26/08/2009

The Baby Boomers brought you the WWW, personal computer, Apple computer, wireless phones that are mini computers, fabulous Sat TVs, Star Wars, Godfather, man, the list goes on longer than the great wall of China - achievements of baby boomers, such as Muhammad Ali, U2, and Steve Jobs/Bill Gates. As well as GREAT MUSIC, impossible to reproduce, not to mention who stood up against a wrong war and government corruption. Open-heart surgery, as well as numerous genius medical advancements, space technology, unmanned drone warfare, and NOT the atomic bomb. The babyboomers are the best at everything, and went through the worst. If the Reds order me to war, or the USA orders me to war, what's the fucking difference? Don't tell me about FREEDOM? If I had freedom then I say, Piss-off with your idiotic Dead Dick game. I had no goddamn freedom other than go to hell against a non-aggressor country OR become a fugitive, for god only knows how long it would have been before I'd be free again. Always afraid of getting caught. All the music that came after Baby Boomers was never as good, and is all copies of BB music. The BB invented Wikipedia and Google, and all computer and photoshop technology...try to be as good as the BB, you'll never be better!--Funnybony 01:05, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Gen X brought you.... ummm... Adam and the Ants? Sex and the City? ... I see your point and I concede! Pup t 03:36, 27/08/2009

/me looks at the above. Hang on, isn't this my talk page? Instead of catching up on this, can I have the tl;dr version please? Just one thing though: if you're gonna say there's been no great music since the Baby Boomers, then I congratulate you on the most complete tunnel vision I've ever seen. Every generation has produced some worthwhile music, and every generation produced some duds. It's just that with saturation marketing and risk aversion these days, the duds are always in your face while anything actually innovative or worthwhile is a lot harder to find. And the Boomers copied their music from ideas that came before them - all music carries elements of what's gone before. Doesn't make it worthless. --UU - natter 11:28, Aug 27

What about the WWII generation? Man, talk about guts! Remember, if you're FREE to read this then you can thank a WWII vet; if you are ABLE to read this then you can thank a teacher; if you're ALIVE to read this then you can thank Jack Bauer.--Funnybony 12:12, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

And if you can't be bothered to read it, thank MTV. --UU - natter 13:58, Aug 27

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.

Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news

Fantasy Football Draft Finished By Guildensternenstein After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void By The Woodburninator In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.	Check out these pages! Merging with Wikipedia? Certainly not! YOU ARE NOT THINKERER! The sausage fest just got more sausagey. From our logs: 12:30, 16 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.133.6.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking pages makes baby jesus cry. it also gets your ass banned. maybe one or the other of those things will convince you not to do it again) 10:55, 18 August 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 18 days ‎ (so you let me look like an ignorant baffoon for 18 days? What kind of SLA is that?) 11:02, 18 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 hours ‎ (it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. America happily let George Bush look like an ignorant buffoon for 2 terms of office, for example...) Biopic of the Week The man from straight out of Kiel, Germany, NaturalBornKieler has been a tremendous addition to Uncyclopedia since joining in June, 2007. While he has had no issues splitting his time between both Uncyclopedia, and the German Uncyclopedia, he has, for some reason, written 10 more features, and some 100 more articles for the German Uncyclopedia than for our beautiful English side. Still, it seems he has found his calling now, working in the big bureaucracy of the Foreign Office. NBK was unable to be reached for comment, as he was unable to get the proper approval from his superiors to be interviewed by a newspaper. Ahhhh. Bureaucracy at work. Old School Featured Article of the Week The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost. Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew. Old School Old School Box of the Week Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: Sure I'd leave you for a girl with bigger boobs. What do you think I am, gay?
Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Modusoperandi is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now!
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9001(bot)  11:31, Aug 24

PQ

Hey boss... the PEE queue is getting a tad out of control with CheifJusticeDS off for reasons of his own, and nobody has picked up the slack. I've tried grabbing as much as I can, but I'm also working full time and have difficulty having as much access as I used to. What can we do to pick this up? Pup t 05:27, 27/08/2009

Honestly? Don't worry too much - the queue has rarely been as in control as it was for the last couple of months. It's been wayyyyy longer before, so I'm not too worried about it. If it really bothers you, try asking a few of the active SKs and Stains to pick up a review or two each, that might do it. I'd grab a couple myself, but work just got insane again. Speaking of which - gotta dash! --UU - natter 08:04, Aug 27

I'm now into 47 hours of playing Oblivion

I think I might die of brain hemorrhaging. ~ 08:52, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I was thinking about getting hold of a copy of that - does it come recommended then? --UU - natter 11:37, Aug 27

Did you play fallout 3? The approach is quite similar, although this one is a bit older (so graphic is not as good). It is a huge game however, with so many side quests you don't need to handle the main one that much. And although it's starting a bit slow, it's improving. The only really annoying thing is that you have about 5-6 voice actors that dub dozens of characters, so sometimes you have two characters conversing in the same voice. Freaky. ~ 11:45, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Graphics? I am a veteran of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 48k, the BBC Model B Micro and the Commodore C64 sir - I care not for decent graphics! As long as the game is large and engrossing, that's all I'm bothered about. Plus - the older it is, the better the chances of finding a copy I can actually afford now I have an anklebiter to save up for! --UU - natter 11:50, Aug 27

Well, I got mine for 10 Euros, I assume you can get it even for less. I don't think I even did 47 hours on Mass Effect. ~ 11:54, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh I did - I'm about to face down Saren for the final time on the hardest difficulty setting. Bastard's going down. This time, I think I may let the council live - plenty of permutations to take to the sequel... Did you play the DLC Bringing Down The Sky mission? A bit of variety compared to the rest of the uncharted worlds. I'm sure I'll find Oblivion for next to nothing, it's just having the time to go looking for it that's the trick! --UU - natter 12:05, Aug 27

Oblivion on amazon. Bit more expensive than ten euro, but it's there. I might look into this game actually a friend told me about it too. And Mass Effect I still can't get into. I've tried. It's just not fun. Also anyone played Bioshock? It's awsome.    Orian57    Talk   13:55 27 August 2009

I thought it would be worthwhile to butt in here and say I don't play video games, and rather I go stare at sticks in the back yard. Either that or I stand. That's the way I have to live. Staircase CUN^t 14:21, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

holy goats - i've just gotten into oblivion after 2+ years of trying to wrangle a working copy of it, and it's the only thing ripping me away from this website at the moment...SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 07:06, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Australia lost the Ashes. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, UU, you win. Just don't hurt our feelings; we have been hurt enough about you English winning the Ashes. I'm sorry that we lost the Ashes. Can you forgive me please? I'm sorry. We burning your cricket ball and have its ashes sent to you. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill | 07:26, 29 August 2009 (UTC)