User talk:Cajek/Archive29

RAPE!

RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE Love, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:36, Jul 19

Jesus shitballs   Le Cejak • <22:39, 19 Jul 2008>

You rang sir? MrN 22:52, Jul 19

My talk page didn't even last the night without two rapists paying it a visit   Le Cejak • <22:53, 19 Jul 2008>

Reverted edit(s) of Cajek (talk) to last version by THEDUDEMAN

Should I really be reverting you, or are you just really really bored. Also, nice opening message. Good thing neither me nor TDB can read. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 15:02, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

I TOLD you, it was Dr. Skullthumper!!!!   Le Cejak • <15:04, 20 Jul 2008>

Damn that Skullthumper!! /me shakes fist angrily. ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [20/07 15:10]

You can't blame Skullthumper. He was raised by, uh, mosquitos. Sad story, man. Sad.   Le Cejak • <15:14, 20 Jul 2008>

How are you letting this happen?

Jesus Christ, Chewbacca. That is one craptastic article, and for some reason, I seem to think that you are a Star Wars fan. I'm not saying you should rewrite it. I am saying that you should verbally berate everyone involved with that article. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 19:50, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

Not a star wars fan, but thanks for linking a crappy article to my talk page. Yeah. THANKS. Uh, er, anyways, I don't berate chowderhead. What are you retarded? Anyway, I saw what you did with UN:REQ. Good job there, and kudos on the feature.   Le Cejak • <20:28, 21 Jul 2008>

heh good times --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 09:54, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Well, I just use Rule of thumb when linking to people's talk pages. I figure if that isn't working, Guns versus butter model usually works. If you go to K-Mart in The South you can figure this stuff out. But I'm out. If you need me, I'll be watching Escape from New York with Matt Damon and John Gotti. (Man there is some garbage on the UN:REQ page. It's a virtual treasure chest of crap articles. I love it. I can link up some more if you want. The Flash. See? There you go.) The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 20:38, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

Alright Penis merchant...

Lets write an article. What's the title? You choose. Create it in your userspace, and off we go. I got a few hours. Let's finish it tonight. Hopefully before ZB bans you. MrN 19:36, Jul 24

Ooh, whoops, I have to leave for training right now (yes, I need to be able to battle at any time). Also, don't we have 19 collabs together?? Jesus. Be back in a little bit, and I will start that article. Serious.   Le Cejak • <19:38, 24 Jul 2008> (Enjoy your talk page)

Wait, my obsessive RC-watching brain is confused... wasn't there a conversation between you two on MrN's talk page about 30 seconds ago? *sunburn* OW! ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [24/07 19:40]

Cool Cajek / HV... It's 20:47 here. As you know I go to bed during the week at... Oh... 4am? Maybe I should get some more sleep. YOU think of the title while you are away, and we will try and crack a great article out in quick time. MrN 19:45, Jul 24

I can't wait to get up tomorrow and read this... ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [24/07 19:55]

Oh you poor thing. I'll get the ointment. *fusses in a nondescript fashion* I told you to put the sun cream on but, no young man. You know best. well I hope this teaches you a lesson. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:00 24 July 2008

First of all, I feel popular. AND WELL LIKED!

Second of all of all, what kind of article would you like, Mr N? Gross-out? Weird? Both?   Le Cejak • <21:03, 24 Jul 2008>

First of all, are you as delusional as Willy Loman?

Secondly that part of the conversation doesn't apply to me right now. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:12 24 July 2008

First of all, Orian get outta here!

Second of all MrN, do you see anything in User:Cajek/ideas that looks good?

  Le Cejak • <21:27, 24 Jul 2008>

Hmm... I think Cajek should choose... I have to go get some food, but I'm all yours in about 30 mins... ;-) NOT Orian's. I'm not having sex with him. MrN 21:32, Jul 24

USP

Yeah, it's fun at the moment. I do wonder how quickly you'd have burned out if you'd have gone to twice a week as you suggested in one of your sugar-fuelled hyperactive periods... and the "don't feed the Cajek" thing is why your talk page also gets one star. The lone star talk page. Kinda like Texas, but with slightly more intelligent conversation. (That ought to take care of that "feeling well liked" rubbish). --"Stunt Editor" UU - natter 09:33, Jul 25

I'm glad you like writing it! It is really fun: Gets the juices flowing for articles, too. I'll get my energy back as soon as school starts. That's how it works: I get more features the more busy I am in real life. Damn you, Uncyclopedia!   Le Cejak • <14:09, 25 Jul 2008>

I want you to pee on me

You can chose do to it either in the nude or wearing a gimp mask. ^*

^*But only if you're not too busy. ~ 15:33, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

sigh It just showed me that I need to get my writing act together. My muse has been silent for wayyy too long now. Thanks! ~ 12:36, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

That picture

Actually gave me a fright! Seriously! I saved my edit, expecting to see a nice picture of some lambs in a field, and ... AAAA!!! What the hell! Then... I thought... CAJEK!!! Maybe you can see where I'm going with this... Two different styles of writing spilt up kinda like the two sides of Hannibal. Half of it will use really subtle reference to stuff, whereas the other is kinda a bit more in your face... I want it to have an undertone of Hopkins biography too. And Aardvarks perhaps. Na, sheep... Seriously though! That did actually give me a fright! Oh, I pulled out of the PLS to... User:MrN9000/The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia was going to be my article. It needs more work though still, but I guess I can finish it later. MrN 04:13, Jul 27

Welcome!

Welcome to UNAP, Cajek!

Your welcome, Evil Pi, founder of UNAP

Tony and Ludo thank you!

Splendid, what! UU would like to express his gratitude for you vote on UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies. Therefore, please accept a free gift of Sir John Obvious-Suspect's latest innovation - Sudoku toilet paper, for those mornings when you know you're gonna be in there ages!

I honestly thought that any of my own stuff I loved that much would never make it, so thanks for proving something-or-other to me. --UU - natter 08:34, Jul 28

And now, something different, but I didn't think it deserved its own header. There are times when I think that if I ever were to meet you, I'd buy you a large version of whatever drink is your tipple of choice, and give you a gentlemanly hug. These times pass, but I thought it worth mentioning they exist. --UU - natter 14:35, Jul 28

If you're trying to make me feel special it's worrrkiiinnggg!   Le Cejak • <14:43, 28 Jul 2008>

Did Ya

Take a look at Led's rewrite?. Also, you should probably read through the whole of that forum if you have not already. Also. pants obviously. MrN 14:49, Jul 28

I DID read all of that forum, actually. My name was mentioned quite a bit! What do you think of Led's rewrite?   Le Cejak • <14:50, 28 Jul 2008>

RC stalker ahoy! Like I said, I basically was going for "EXTREME shortening," though I also tried to make it sound a bit less concrete--more guideline-y and flexible--in a few places. Just add back anything I took out that I shouldn't have, or revert me if it's no good. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:06, Jul 28

I thought it was fine. I have wanted to do something similar myself, but hit extreme apathy whenever I thought I might try. --UU - natter 15:10, Jul 28

I was waiting for you to comment Cajek! I'm too scared of Led... :-) I'm not sure about it right now actually. Need to think it over I guess. I think if we bring this quick reviews thing in, then it will need adjusting to take account of that anyway. Led has done well with the re-write, but like I said, I need to think about it more. Maybe we should just let UU decide... MrN 15:12, Jul 28

My god you want quick reviews! Uh anyway, yeah it IS really short... AND he got rid of the picture of me whoring my beautiful articles! I'll take a look at it someday soon, Led. Thanks for doing stuff with it, anyway!   Le Cejak • <15:14, 28 Jul 2008>

"My god you want quick reviews!" - Cajek... I want them to be an option for the person who submits the review. Not an option for the person doing the review. MrN 15:42, Jul 28

Ahem...

You bastard. - [22:47 29 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You whore.   Le Cejak • <1:56, 31 Jul 2008>

You scum. - [08:08 31 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You bottomfeeding shitfish.   Le Cejak • <13:41, 31 Jul 2008>

You cake-like fucking rabbit. - [13:43 31 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

You big fat penis metaphor.   Le Cejak • <13:47, 31 Jul 2008>

You oversized excrement and ice simile. - [13:59 31 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Check Out

The Vandalism! Will these IP vandals stop at nothing? Is there nothing sacred to these people? MrN 22:49, Jul 30

More for that matter, is that vandalism? There is some sinister plot afoot I tell you... MrN 23:01, Jul 30

I think that every time you say "pants" an angel loses its wings   Le Cejak • <1:56, 31 Jul 2008>

Actually, every time he says "pants" an angel loses its virginity. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:07, Jul 31

Hmmm...So that explains where mine went... The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 03:28, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Any chance...

You could pop into IRC? MrN 13:57, Jul 31

So you were the reason Cajek joined! You bastard! - [14:36 31 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

If you were interested...

I made a NFP template for images if you want to do that too. I'll work on the other ones you suggested. ~ Mgr.ReadMeSoon!? 23:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

My Old Neighborhood

PLS is in judging stage. Ready whenever you are. -RAHB 15:44, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

I hope you realize the psychological stress I'm going through

Must... not... click...

Do you even realize how tempting it is to press that magical button every time I see you in Recent Changes? Look how it's nice and blue, while the other ones are purple. That's a link's way of saying to me... "click me... you know you want to... I'll give you pie". It's horrible, Cajek. Horrible. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:53 Aug 02, 2008

oh dude, so if I clog up recent changes my chances of bannage will increase? ...hmmm...   Le Cejak • <20:09, 02 Aug 2008>

Just so you know..

I nominated that one featured article of yours for deletion. Just that one, though. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:55, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Please Review My Article

Hello, i've been trying for a while to get someone to review my article, but seem to be having bad luck. If you could review it, THANK YOU, if not please tell me you can't instead of saying you'll get around to it. This is my first article and i really want to know whether or not it is good enough.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 22:49, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, i thought it would end up like that. Mostly i wrote it just so there would be article out there by me. But i'll try harder this time, realizing that it doesn't matter how long it takes. Thanks for the advice, and no, you weren't being mean, unlike those people who were way too soft on me apparently, because i did get a few good reaction to the article. But they did point out some of the same things you did.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 19:00, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Sure, yeah, the length doesn't matter. In fact, it should be the length of a short wikipedia article, maybe. This article I wrote is probably the perfect length for any generic article. Yours was maybe a little too long for me, I guess? Hard to say. Glad you liked the review, Altair!   Le Cejak • <20:00, 08 Aug 2008>

That's sugarcane; that tasted good; that's cinnamon; that's Hollywood; come on, come on, no one can see you try...

Hey Cajek! Thanks for your pee on that article of mine. It was quite helpful. I have made a few changes and I wondered if you could take another look. Not a formal review just a comment on the talk page saying: "This is a big improvement" or "No, I'm sorry, you made it shit" or "Why did you post REM lyrics on my talk page?" Those are the three options, do not say anything else (or I will execute a hostage.) -- despicable Ape (spit) (Riot Porn) 20:40, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

I'd like to needlessly interrupt this discussion by saying "hey! those are REM lyrics!" --THE 11:34, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

"hey! that's the THE Emergency Broadcast System! I haven't seen that since March!"   Le Cejak • <15:17, 12 Aug 2008>

Yeah, I'm still around. I've just been kwite busy...I'll be doing a new unnews when I get the chance. Which might be next July. --THE 10:33, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

I miss you, THE! We gots to do one of our contests again some time!   Le Cejak • <18:12, 19 Aug 2008>

Hello

I guess if you want to call me simsi that's okay since I don't feel like disclosing my real name here lest someone write an article about me. Humor does not come easily to me, so contributions to articles I have worked on are welcome as long as it doesn't get too crude (unless of course, the subject matter is crude), also I like run-on sentences. Thanks for visiting my talk page. Simsilikesims 02:00, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Qweschin

Hey, Cajek, it's realy been a while. I just came off of the block list, and fixed up a bad virus problem. Now, then, where the hell do you live? ~ Mgr.ReadMeSoon!? 23:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

signpost

ah, excellent point about delivering the actual paper instead of a copy on my userpage. you see, i was just copying the edits of the bots in hopes of becoming mechanically efficient, and the first few signposts were located in fnoodle's userspace. i thought that was the standard, yet i was mistaken. fear not! tomorrow's issue will be delivered, in original form, come rain, sleet, driving wind, or some sort of malicious robot-eating cabbage attack! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:07, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

I wish I could contribute to it, but I'm focusing on writing straight-up articles while I have some free time! Although, when school starts I tend to ignore homework in favor of writing crazy shit.   Le Cejak • <22:11, 13 Aug 2008>

god, i wish i had homework to avoid. i graduated college, now i'm a real person, in the real world, wasting my real supervisor's real time when i go on uncyclopedia. *sigh*. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:22, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

I can't find where you put that

The list of the active admins. I can't seem to find it. I'm guessing you could tell me where it is. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 17:22, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

here - You saw nothing...— Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:25, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Gah! Capitals. Thanks Syc. You the man. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 17:30, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

gah! prpr nglsh! You philistine! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:42 14 August 2008

u British! Tis ok too yuse prooper Inglish if I ment to do it own Purpus. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 17:46, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Agh! S-sir, would you kindly take a step back, you're frightening me. Kindly articulate what you desire to convey and I shall help you to the best of my ability, however if you continue to proceede in this manner of non-sensical jibberish and sexually suggestive behaviour I'm afriad I shall have to telephone the police service. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:51 14 August 2008

Thier wuz nuthing secksual abowt wut I sayd. Com Oun OrienS7!!! Teh Wodbrunintur 18:53, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

I will not do that to your lady parts! What kind of man do you think I am? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:55 14 August 2008

eYe Doo Nut hav "Laydie Ports". AllthUw, mabye I sHUd, jost 2 ceep yew a WAY! They WouldBernInATour 18:59, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Eww, tranny! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:01 14 August 2008

Ih hop Mistre Kayjerk dos note kare taht uus is deestoryng he's tlak payge. Thi WobrounieyGator 19:05, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

I hope he does, then he may deleate this mess! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:09 14 August 2008

Oar Myaeb hei whill DereTe yew're Fase!!1! Dee WhoobdOArnininininintoraTe 19:28, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

...*puts away chocolate ice cream* *throws up* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:31 14 August 2008

Yeas! eyE Arr Hte Winnar! Yoo Ar Fewls for tyring too sotp may!111!! Zet Pernwoodlynnnbater 19:36, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Wut iz deez? MayB eye delut deez mez! Mistre KayJERK 20:51, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Haha you've got "JERK" in your name. comic gold. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:31 14 August 2008

Ets stil note bad ass pyure comady lik yawer phace. hahu, lal.!,<{)*7! Del Wudebarnalataurosinatare 05:41, 15 August 2008 (UTC)

Join the UnOrder Today!

~ Readmesoon

I've written a poem about you. You might Be Gay, Cajek.--[talk] 06:33, 19 August 2008 (UTC) --TheGreatLiquidFox 06:44, 19 August 2008 (UTC) SO READ OR DIE CAJEK! And your gayness will not be exposed if you do.

Looking for a collaborator

Would you be interested in contributing to my article, HowTo:Boil an egg? The idea is that celebrity chefs all share their own methods, in their own unique styles. The problem is that my article is very British. Even more so than normal. Would you be able to add one or two entries from some American cooks, like Martha Stewart? -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  11:30, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

I could throw in an Australian one if you like. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:10, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Don't forget to include this guy! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:11, Aug 20

I'll see what I can do, Mickey. Thanks for thinking of me! Also, NO LINKING TO ALICE COOPER!!!!   Le Cejak • <19:50, 20 Aug 2008>

Woah, wha...? That was supposed to be this... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:58, Aug 20

DJ, if you want to add an Aussie, that's fine with me. Thanks for taking an interest everyone. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  21:23, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

I haven't been on this talk page for a while

So I thought I'd drop by. Ummm...<awkward>...realises he has nothing to say...here's some M&M's. Peanut ones, that I don't like, so am foisting on you...runs. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 20/08 23:25

Heerenveen! Since when are YOU still lurking around this dump? /me takes M&M's and hides, waiting for response   Le Cejak • <1:17, 21 Aug 2008>

Since I got back to sunny old (ha!) England, I think. And it's not all a dump! Only about 19/20ths of it... ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 21/08 21:12

My latest harebrained idea

Is right here. I took about forty of your quotes (that's not even a third of them, dear god) and queued one to post every day at midnight EST.

I think it's kind of a cool idea, dunno what I'm trying to do with it. Whore it to people so we can get more RSS subscribers, though. I'd really like to see that little number in the left column go up. A lot. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:12 Aug 21, 2008

Looking for an idea?

I found this during my Uncyclopedia:Ideas quest. Thought you might fancy working on this... MrN 13:16, Aug 25

Or Original sin maybe? :) MrN 14:08, Aug 25

HowTo:Win an Argument

Hi Cajek - what think you of this article now? I went right ahead and make some changes, and then left it to gather wikidust for a month or two without looking at it again. Is there anything else which needs a bit of improving? --Knucmo2 22:46, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Wurst. Ultimatum. Ever

Guh, I knew I shouldn't make stupid promises like that, which Spang could make me break and then own me with :/ --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:26, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Wikia

Hello, I am working in Wikia on page www.kingarthur.wikia.com Poosso put content from Wikipedia in English without quoting? 189.59.142.69 17:25, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

I is sorry. My not understanding?   Le Cejak • <17:25, 01 Sep 2008>

So

We're at the point where you're checking UU's reviews again? I knew it was bad, but not that bad! –—Hv (talk) 3/09 15:04

Will it get to the stage when you're reviewing again though, Hv? That's the real question here! --UU - natter 15:08, Sep 3

Soon, soon. I want to get another article done, as I've been massively slacking in that department, but soon, dammit. –—Hv (talk) 3/09 15:19

Oh noes! Now I'll have to do something to keep second place. I hate you. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:15 3 September 2008

Ya Garbage!

If you're around at all (which I doubt), and you still want to collab on Ya Ain't Nuthin! I may actually have some time to work on it this weekend. If thou art busy though, I'll perhaps try and put it together myself. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 08:09, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

Wood, hey! You should probably put it together yourself first, and I'll try and work on it a little later. You're right, I am kinda busy, but I'll maybe try and add something later. Thanks for coming to me to talk about it, Wood!   Le Cejak • <14:36, 04 Sep 2008>

Kick Ass!

Well, I have done Race, Sexuality, Gay, business stuff, Existence, Paedophiles, God, Immigration, some Films and even covered the more important issue of Toilets... I'm working on this with some unknown user at the moment, but what's next I ask you Mr Cajek??? I plan to work on User:MrN9000/Pantaloonery when the ban runs out, but am currently unable to edit that... Do I need to work on my whoring skills more? Do you know of a place where a guy can get his trouser related fix? Do you think I should make a post in the dump about Uncyclopedia:Ideas and User:MrN9000/Collaboration? Do you know where I left my car keys? I'm sure I put them down next to the radiator, and the bastards are just not there now. What are the answers Mr Cajek? What are the answers??? MrN 19:42, Sep 4

The age of MrN's horde of features has begun, and I am but a witness. ...that sounded pretty sexy! Yeah, anyway, I haven't written anything funny since March, my friend. I'm thinking of writing a Cthulhu-themed article Necronomicorp, because I'm on a Lovecraft binge right now (you must read Call of Whatsisface). Other than that, I have no idea what to do. I'm trying to focus on school but, believe it or not, I'm just hanging around uncyc reading stuff. I don't know what pants you pants should pants do with your time right now.   Le Cejak • <19:57, 04 Sep 2008>

Guess who's back?

Hiiii :P —talk

HIIIIEEEEE!!! Welcome back, Fagatron!   Le Cejak • <14:21, 11 Sep 2008>

Guess who realized they've wasted ages on this site and has kind of stopped caring about everything happening on here because they've realized there are better things to do with their time?

*deep breathes* Maggghhhh *deep breathes* H-him... o-over th-there! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:07, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

What's wrong with your breathing, Dj? Scared? Or exited? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:10 11 September 2008

YOU CAN'T LEAVE, DJ! you haven't put in your time yet. As for me, I feel like I've wasted ages on this site and have better things to do... but I'm going to keep coming back here anyway. I can't quit you, Uncyc!   Le Cejak • <14:15, 11 Sep 2008>

Now I'm confused. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:16 11 September 2008

What Cajek said, you can't leave DJ! Do what I did and stay for the community :p —talk 16:40, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

I second that notion! /goes back to sleep SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:42 11 September 2008

Thanks so much!

Blue Power Ranger thanks you for voting! So you liked my tale of displeasure, huh? That's nice. Hey, maybe I could write a book about it! Before long I'll be outselling Pelzer!

Yeah wow, thanks! I'm really impressed that you liked it, you know cos your so great and everything. What was it that you liked so much? I'm asking everyone, cos I wanna know if I can replicate the effect. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:00 13 September 2008

CONGRATULATION YOU HAVE BOLD LINK

YOU BOLD LINK

THEREFORE YOU GET CONGRATULATION!

CONGRATULATION ON BOLD LINK

SINCERE:
THE CONGRATULATION COMMITTEE

What's with all the bans?

Is this some kind of joke? More importantly, is it funny? And what's with this talkpage thing? It looks crazy, having a "general" talkpage below a "specialized" talkpage (and one that, it should be mentioned, has no talk). Is it crazy? Are you crazy? Do you need a ban for this "crazy" rumour about you being crazy that I'm spreading around because you're crazy? Am I justified in spreading this rumour? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:45, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

I keep telling everyone, you're looking for the OTHER Cajek: the one that's cool and a badboy and who continually writes below-par articles! Are you a new user here, or something? Why haven't you banned me yet?!   Le Cejak • <15:49, 20 Sep 2008>

First of all, there is no "cool" Cajek. If you're gonna make shit up, at least try to make it sound plausible. Second, I don't ban people for being you. That would be silly. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:17, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

hiya!

I'm the reincarnated form of Splendiferous, and adoptee you adopted back in summer.

I am now stronger, faster, more informed, with a titanium alloy exoskeleton, and a thick british accent I know how to make bloody maries and I CAN SENSE YOU FEAR!

I AM HINDSIGHTMAN!!!!

... so how are things? --Hindsightman 04:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey HSM, things are fine! I'm not on the site as much as I want to be, but maybe that's a good thing cuz I don't have any good article ideas right now... Anyway, get to writing stuff! If you need me, go to User:Talk:Cajek/adopt or whatever it is: I'll respond in a day or so after posting. Have fun!   Le Cejak • <12:40, 24 Sep 2008>

Hiya!

I'm a passing Admin, Bureaucrat and multidimensional semi-divine being. I thought I'd pop by and tell you how great I really am. Thanks! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

This... this is ridiculous. Is this where my tax dollars are being spent? Is this? Who- who does this "Mhaille" think he is? Martha? Martha? Git ma inquiry-writin' pen out!   Le Cejak • <14:34, 26 Sep 2008>

Hiya!

Three in a row! Woo!!! -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

But on another note, it's been far too long since you and I had a disturbing talk page conversation about something equally hilarious and unfit for the consumption of children. And I aims to change that. I does. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

On a more serious, but still hilarious note, with different hilarious parts than the previous hilarious note, I believe there are an assload of things I've committed to doing for and/or with you on Uncyclopedia that I'm almost just about ready to do, and I want to check up on. These include co-writing My Old Neighborhood, as well as audioing your Riddle and Polar Express stuff, as well as redoing the Serious audio that I was displeased with. I'm really looking forward to getting these things all worked on next month. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

He's lying. RAHB is a lazy sack of shit. He hasn't written since July, he left for a month unannounced, and he couldn't be bothered to do your audio right the first time. He's an asshole, and you shouldn't take anything he says seriously. At all. EVER. -BHAR 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

No! Don't listen to him! I really love doing Uncyc stuff! I left for a month because I didn't have internet! So, like, I didn't actually leave, I just sat here and waited to make contact again. Seriously, I sat here the whole damn time, waiting. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I betcha did, fatass. --BHAR 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh you're really one to fucking talk, aren't you? Yeah. That's what I fucking thought. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey man, fuck you. That hurts my feelings and shit man. Fuck....I'm through playing with you guys, you're mean. -BHAR 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Good. Go. We didn't fucking need you anyways. Anyways Cajek, next Friday I'm moving into my gorgeous new apartment in LA, and getting ready for my fabulous new school schedule at my heavenly school I'm going to, and preparing for life to be absolutely perfect. I'll have my own awesome place and school only two days a week. And I'll be working my ass off on all sorts of stuff, including Uncyc. And I plan to do some of that stuff I said I would do. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Provided of course, that I learn to control my schizophrenia. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

So how are you? -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

What's been up? -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Haven't seen you around much lately. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Even though I did notice you wrote a new article today, while I was browsing the new articles list. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

About killer bees or some such I believe. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Fascinating creatures. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

No they're not. -BHAR 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

You be quiet. I was talking to Cajek. -RAHB 11:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

I'm a passing Admin, Bureaucrat and multidimensional semi-divine being. I thought I'd pop by and tell you how great I really am. Thanks! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Some of that is half truths and lies, I mean the credentials for "Multidimentional" came from your sales pitch for those tinfoil hats you tried to flog on the internet... — Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Jesus fucking christ! ...It's RAHB! Yes, keep me updated on all your doings! Which audio you wanna do first? Which article you wanna start on? I've been okay, writing shitty articles in places and some such: I hope you're doing good, too! Mhaille suxxorz: he thinks he's all big n' stuff! Anyway, glad you're back, RAHB, it's been too long! I'll think of something funny to say later on! Tell me of your uncyc plans!!!!!! FEATURE THIS TALK PAGE RANT BY RAHB!!   Le Cejak • <12:45, 28 Sep 2008>

My plans are to use my powers to work myself up overtime to a passing Admin, Bureaucrat and multidimensional semi-divine being, so that I can wreak havoc on the world. Did I tell you about my school yet? Oh yeah, I totally did. That shit is fucking awesome. I can't even describe how many factors contribute greatly to the awesomeness of the next three years of my life. But enough about that. As far as uncyc goes, I don't want to start any new audio until I'm up and going in my next apartment, which I'm moving into next Friday, and will probably be fully operating in by Monday. As far as writing, whatever you're ready for, I'm ready for. Obviously we've got the Neighborhood idea, or if you've got any other crazy ideas, any of those are good too. -RAHB 21:21, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Wow! Your high school sounds......................................great!!!!!! I don't know which article I'll do or what's going on in Uncyc, but I do know that LOTS of IPs are coming by and contributing for some reason while you were gone. Anyway, have fun at your gangbanging slum high school! YAY, GO COUGARS/PANTHERS/LIONS/BOBCATS!!!!   Le Cejak • <22:31, 28 Sep 2008>

And if you start Our Neighborhood or anything, keep me posted. AND keep me posted on how you're doing in the real world, too ol' buddy ol' pal   Le Cejak • <22:37, 28 Sep 2008>

Oh, no dude. I graduated high school. I'm going to college. Art college! Except my art degree is in a useful field. Audio! Who would have guessed?! And even better, we don't have a school mascot! Because we don't have sports/school pride/any of that shit! IT'S SO AWESOME! -RAHB 07:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Hello!

I don't get the connection between DJ Irrev and PieSoup's cat... um... that's it.... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:21, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

DJ did get a new kitteh! I know the image was uploaded by PieSoup, but that's not the point. Thanks for helping out anyways, RT   Le Cejak • <23:24, 02 Oct 2008>

Oh! Ok... well, good for him... BLARG! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:48, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Ahem

Dear Master Cajek,

I would like to inform you that I am in fact the 1th person Chuck Norris kicked into the sun and if you do not cease and desist this instant I will be forced to launch a class action against you. I suffered many years of pain and rehabilitation yet received no compensation for the aforementioned incident. The court ruled Mr. Norris acted in self-defense and that I should stop handing handing out class actions like candy as class actions like icecream are better anyway. I have also taken class actions out against your (or what appears to be your) dog, collection of tropical fish, rarely used pants, your Kyrgyzstani bride and pending class action. To avoid this, all you have to do is possibly change the entry in your resume to 2th person Chuck Norris kicked into the sun or even 3th. So please, consider those more prone to being kicked into the sun.

Sincerely, The rightful 1th person Chuck Norris kicked into the sun.

Anyway, it's nice to see my adopter shouting at me to finish something... I had an idea at school once on how to finish the decline section but forgot it :/ and I'm probably never going to be happy unless I figure out how to end it just as well. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:25, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Dashed impertinence

So let me get this straight - you create a page, and you expect to be able to edit it when you like, or something? Pah! By the great Lord Harry's electric ear-hair trimmer, I shall teach you some manners, you young upstart! I challengeth thee to a duel with slightly damp chopsticks at 3.24 paces. The venue will be decided when I decide it. The time shall be dawn. Forsooth and forever, I have spake! --UU - natter 12:35, Oct 7

Good ol' UU: always starting fights and getting banned, hee hee. YES, I CHALLENGE YOU! I SHALL DEFEND TO THE DEATH THE RIGHT OF THAT BRITISH USER WHO WRITES THE TENNIS ARTICLES ALL THE DAMN TIME TO BE CONSIDERED A REGULAR PEE REVIEWER ON A LIST VERY FEW PEOPLE CARE ABOUT!!!!! YAR! (It's been a long time, buddy, since we've had a good ol' flamewar: welcome back!)   Le Cejak • <12:38 Oct 07, 2008>

A flamewar, is that what the lower-class youth of today are calling it? Why, in my day, it was called a full and frank exchange of views, ideologies, embarrassing personal illnesses and details of one's tailor. They were followed by one's manservant taking on the other chap's manservant in a fearful Ker-Plunk duel. Naked. To the death. You can't tell me that these new-fangled ways are any better. (Nice to be here - it's been too long since I peeked out from under my cover on this page). --UU - natter 12:46, Oct 7

Those are the old ways! Because Uncyclopedia is on the internet now, we have to make our flamewars slightly less distasteful sort of! They can only end when either someone is banned or revealed to be a sockpuppet of the other user! BEGIN!   Le Cejak • <12:51 Oct 07, 2008>

You mean one has to get one's own hands dirty in this day and age? Sounds positively unhygenic. Still, when it comes to the crunch, a UU is never found wanting. Let it begin: you smell a little. Hah! Recover from that, if you can! --UU - natter 12:56, Oct 7

Why are you called CAKE J now? It's got waay too many syllables! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:40 7 October 2008

As opposed to the previous two to the now increased "two" amount? — Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:42, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Well at least Cajek could be said fast enough so it sounded like one. this is two whole words! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:44 7 October 2008

EEEDDITT CONFLICT!!!! Listen, guys: your MOM. That's right: your mom. Yeah, and my name is still the same length! Learn to count, you jackinapes!   Le Cejak • <12:45 Oct 07, 2008>

[EC]No, I have a mum, or mother. And I can count, your name is now a whole charater longer! =P SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:47 7 October 2008

Also, I shall have to deal with these dratted edit conflictors as well. Fetch me my medium-strength fightin' tea... --UU - natter 12:46, Oct 7

Please don't tell me you're drinking tea now like a fucking English lady in a poofy dress! And knickers! What happened to the UU who drank motor oil?   Le Cejak • <12:51 Oct 07, 2008>

Now that is a gross stereotype! I am offended! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:52 7 October 2008

Oh, I'm sorry... YOUR MAAAAJESTY! Would you like some homosexuality with your tea??!?!?   Le Cejak • <12:53 Oct 07, 2008>

Yes please... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:57 7 October 2008

How much?

How much does it cost to buy a Cajek? ~ NEZLR 15:11, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

4 Euros, $5,000, or just two blowjobs! You got a coupon?   Le Cejak • <20:25 Oct 10, 2008>

Oh I have four euros! Gimmie a Cajek! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:04 10 October 2008

It's in the mail, buddy! Just as soon as you send the four Euros, of course. And the blowjob.   Le Cejak • <23:54 Oct 10, 2008>

Oh! Well um, wouldn't you rather do that over the internet, we could start now... /kneels down mouth open unnecessarily wide SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:55 10 October 2008

An i-blow job?! Those are all the rage in Elboniastan! But I don't think the CD tray will be big enough for my "hairy jiggly johnson"   Le Cejak • <0:02 Oct 11, 2008>

Oh hairy? Yeah would mind shaving? It's just I've been coughing up hairballs for the past week and it's not fun. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:04 11 October 2008

Oh MY!   Le Cejak • <0:23 Oct 11, 2008>

SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:25 11 October 2008

What are you trying to say? That you want me in your room? What shall commence after the room-Cajek interaction?   Le Cejak • <0:30 Oct 11, 2008>

Well first we'll have to shave mini-chewbacca and then after that anything could happen! but lets face it we'll probably end up playing Halo. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:33 11 October 2008

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?   Le Cejak • <0:49 Oct 11, 2008>

XD Cajek I think I love you, funniest thing I've heard in ages! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:54 11 October 2008

Yay! Vandalised by Cajek I feel so dirty. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 01:13 11 October 2008

Honey, you not da first *lights cigar* please don't tell my mum D: --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:45, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Awards and blocks

Well, young Cajerk Cajek you get awards about half as often as you get blocked but your userpage is good. Proxima Centauri 15:19, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Well thank you, Proxima Cuntari Proxima Centauri! Your userpage has many, many boxes and such, and I appreciate reading each and every one of them.   Le Cejak • <20:28 Oct 10, 2008>

Is this heading a typo? Or how all those trendy kids say "bollocks" on the street now? You young whippersnappers you! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Can you help?

As I'm going to revamp the article, please can you remove it from vfh as I don't know if I'm allowed to do such a thing myself. Many thanks. Geoff Prickett  (Speech) 18:30, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Why did you delete your article? Please undo that.   Le Cejak • <18:37 Oct 11, 2008>

Improving it hopefully. Geoff Prickett  (Speech) 20:23, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Artickle whut i dun

Hey Cajek! You said you liked the Moose article? Well it's almost done, just waiting for pictures, do you still like it? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:15 12 October 2008

This page still messes up my sig

Why isn't this fixed? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 04:10, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

FU BOOMER!!! ...what page are you talking about?   Le Cejak • <8:07 Oct 15, 2008>

What's a "Boomer"? --UU - natter 12:58, Oct 15

Award thing

Diamond Dumper

Excellent! Your commitment to PEEING is nearly boundless, going beyond 75 in-depth pee reviews. You provide such vast quantities of piss that you need something special to contain it. So we gladly provide you with this beautiful bathroom bling - keep pissing!

---

Because I can, because you've probably done as many reviews as I have, and because I saw a man in lime green trousers this morning. --UU - natter 12:58, Oct 15

OH EM GEE! IT'S UU! Man, it's been a while since we talked! Well, see you later: I have some homework to do. Also, I don't think I've done as many reviews as YOU have, my friend. Maybe we should start reviewing again? UN:PR looks backlogged.   Le Cejak • <13:03 Oct 15, 2008>

I never stopped reviewing, I merely slowed down due to the wedding. They take far more time than you expect. I'm slowly getting back up to speed. In fact, I plan to review something tonight, while watching England struggle against whoever we're playing at Footer/Soccball/whatever you call it. My evening schedule is packed. Have fun with this "homework" of which you speak. --UU - natter 13:06, Oct 15

oh my! Well, anyway, have fun with your balls. Uh, I mean your testicles. I'm going to be around Uncyc forever and ever, checking my watchlist every five minutes but not writing anything unless I get a bolt of inspiration. So, if you want to talk UU, just wait around: I'll be here.   Le Cejak • <13:10 Oct 15, 2008>

Cajek!

Uuugh, sorry about not being able to do the contest sooner. The laptop I used most of the time for interweb access asploded. That, on top of my senior shit, means it might be a while before a contest could happen. But I could do a collab instead, it would mean being more flexible time-wise. Whaddya think? --THE 18:38, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, I've got lots of stuff going on too. If you have an idea for a collab, run it by me or look at my idea list maybe! Good to talk to you again, man.   Le Cejak • <21:17 Oct 19, 2008>

We can do somethin' from the idea list, I reckon. Are there any you're particularly keen on doing from there? I rather like the potential of The Fox and the Hound and the Yog-Sothoth, although HowTo:Choose which of your children you like more and Bloated Corpse Wearhouse sound fairly awesome as well. Whatever you want to do is fine with me (as long as it doesn't involve removing our clothes). --THE 00:15, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Proxima Centauri and the aliens of Porrila

You reviewed Proxima Centauri and the aliens of Porrila in the summer. I'm working on it. What do think now? Proxima Centauri 19:12, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Action required

For the glory of her majesty is this week's Colonization. Your Uncyclopedia needs you!! You asked for it and now For the glory of her majesty is to be transformed by our band of rewriting brothers. It is your duty as an Uncyclopedian to join the invading army, go forth and spread the funny word. Good luck, my friend.

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  11:17, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

I love you.

I do. sirsysrq @ 14:45 Nov 5

You love me heterosexually, right? (also, where you been???)   Le Cejak • <3:05 Nov 06, 2008>

No. And when, Sissy, am I getting one of these messages? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:07 6 November 2008

No, I'm totally homo for you. And I've been here, not here. But now I'm here. sirsysrq @ 14:19 Nov 6

YOU LIAR! YOU WERE DOING THE SOY! WEREN'T YOU!? WEREN'T YOU!? Why can't kids these days stick to regular drugs like cocaine and Mark Foley D: ? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:51, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

I can't remember a time that I wasn't gay...or not drinking soy milk while watching Hannity and Colmes. sirsysrq @ 15:18 Nov 7

???

! - The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 02:19, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Hey Sweetie Cake

Wannacheck out that moose article again? You said you might vote and it's up for VFH soooo... Yeah. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:12 13 November 2008

Come back...

I love you....more than Sys does.... -RAHB 05:54, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

He's totally just saying that so you'll sleep with him. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:12, Nov 15

Bullshit, Led! That is utter bullshit! Bullshit! Bull, fucking, shit! How could you lie so shittily...with bull! Like how you lie! Shit! Now give this White Russian that totally doesn't have extra liquor in it, to Cajek, so I can fuck him- I MEAN SO HE CAN SLEEP COMFORTABLY TONIGHT! -RAHB 06:19, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

...with my penis... -RAHB 06:20, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Wait...

...have you left? God dammit! I'd so reprimand you for leaving if you were actually here!! --THE 23:36, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Quote

"Rest assured: Uncyc is a firefox tab that's always open, no matter where else on the web I go." Cajek on being around someplace. I'm gonna hold you to that dude. Have fun with the more serious stuff, but make sure you do come back some time or other. Or I'll come to America, track you down, sit outside your apartment and sing "numpty", to the tune of the Macarena, just on the edge of hearing and slightly off-key. For a long time. Don't say you weren't warned.

Or, to put it another way: do what you gotta, but see you around some day, OK? --UU - natter 22:26, Nov 27

Did you read his bloggy thing? Cajek is becoming Serious. This is serious. I suggest we call an ambulance just to be on the safe side. I suspect we might need it. In the meanwhile, we may as well talk about him in his absence... MrN 23:17, Nov 27

Oh, did ya see this thing Sys did? MrN 23:18, Nov 27

MerryChristmas!

	Merry Christmas, dudes!
	Santa "Metallica" Claus and Necropaxx want to wish you a very merry Christmas, and to always rock around the Christmas tree.
	Don't forget the egg nog!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:46, Dec 24

Hey!

You there! Don't think I didn't see you edit just then, Mister! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 18:01, Dec 30

Cajek? Madness. You must be mistaken, Mr Admin type. He's off swanning about with his fancy new serious writing. Like humour isn't serious business or anything. He wouldn't edit here, or vote on articles or anything. And he wouldn't have a Happy New Year if I wished him one. --UU - natter 18:19, Dec 30

bugler

i noticed that bugler was kicked off of conservapedia for being a parodist. was it, in fact, cajek in disguise? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:42, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

Thankies

Yeah, mostly people thank other people when they win. But I'm British - we thank people all the time. And I'm thanking you for your vote on UotY, because finishing as runner-up to the Mordillo-machine actually means something (although that may just be an indicator of how sad my life is). Now, just one more thing - you ever coming back? --UU - natter 17:20, Feb 1

Hey, we're still doing this.

Just so you know, I haven't forgotten about this. Let's turn this mother out. Add stuff to the outline and then let's get to the article itself. I'm suddenly very excited about it. Oh, here are my pills. Okay, now I'm not as excited, but I still think this could be a good idea. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:52, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Cajek for sysop when he gets to 100 bans!

• Amen. MrN 03:02, Feb 10
• Making this a petition. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 03:13, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
• I declare my approval for this message. - [16:56 10 February 2009] YYettie
• Penis. —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:34, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
  • I second this message, brought to you by Coca-Cola. Mmm! There's nothing like a refreshing Coke! - [21:57 10 February 2009] YYettie
• Obviously. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:13, Feb 10
• Yes! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:46, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

signpost

o hai. com bak an make funneh for signpost plz. kthxbai. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:50, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Antimatter pickup truck

This one hit me in the eye like a megavolt dildo. If you want us to collaboratorate on that one, I can:

• contribute nonsensical text
• make 3D-images of the vehicle
• create cool logos in milliseconds
• annoy you with my own ideas
• suck generally

...so if these are the qualities you want in a collaborator, leave 100 bucks on my talk page. -- Style  Guide 13:41, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Not sure you know this yet, but Cajek has been missing in action for quite some time now. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:47, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

What's a "Cajek"? --UU - natter 13:49, Apr 17

A typical "Cajek"

Maybe this will clear things up. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:49, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Nope, still not following you. Is it some kind of food? I'm hungry. --UU - natter 14:59, Apr 17

How about this one? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:07, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

--UU - natter 15:11, Apr 17

The biopic in this UnSignpost? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:15, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

What's a Signpost? --UU - natter 15:18, Apr 17

UnPoetia:Cajek Might Be Gay sounds interesting. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:27, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

You mean less to me than the dog turd I just scraped off my shoe

Who do you think you are, not coming to this site? Who. Do. You. Think. You. Are?

Do you think we care? Do you think people miss you? We don't miss you - no-one misses you. We keep banning you in the hope that you will continue to stay away. You think you were funny? You were never funny. None of your articles ever made me laugh. That thing about red lights? That Star Wars Japanese thing? Complete drivel, every single character of every single line. We still feature your stuff because we want to keep people away! You think you made a difference with your templates and your helpful pee reviews and your enthusiasm? Fuck no. No-one even noticed you when you were here. I didn't notice you. Who were you? Why am I here? What am I saying all of this for? Where's my teddy? Why am I using so many italics?

I miss... My teddy.

Fuck that shut. Shit. My mind is clare. Cleer. Claar? Clear. This place is better without you, whoever you were. Better, do you hear me? BETTER! No-one misses you. I certainly don't miss you. Every day you stay away from this site fills me with an indescribable joy, and even makes me a little horny. I keep your photo on my mantelpiece so I know who to shoot if I ever see you in the street, and not for any weird reasons. THIS WIKI IS AWESOME WHILE YOU ARE GONE!

I don't believe in Cajeks anyway. I believe in Santa's own personal tooth fairy more than I believe in you. You never really existed. You're just a practical joke by those wacky humourists at Conservapedia, trying to parody our own parodic nature by creating a mythical user who was such a parody of a parodist they couldn't actually be real. It may have fooled the others, but not me. Yeah, I'm on to you, so-called-Cajek - or should I say JesusWorshippinGunLover51? Why would anyone fall for such an obvious elaborate prank, let alone miss it? I don't miss you - no-one misses you!

Spending all this time telling someone you don't care about that you don't care about them isn't contradictory either - I don't care if you don't read this. Don't give even the slightest fuck. Not even one tiny iota. You suck, and I don't need to tell you that, you already know it. Yeah. In fact, it's because I know that you won't read this that it isn't contradictory. If I thought you were going to read this, I wouldn't have written it, because I wouldn't want to waste any effort on something you might actually read. But you won't read this, because you don't exist, and because you left us after you realised you only made this place suck. So I'm writing it for you not to read, which is why it all makes sense and I'm right and you're wrong. Would be wrong. If you existed. God it's scary how much sense this makes!

I'm going to go and vandalise your userpage now, because I know you used to like that, and so doing something you like when you're not here and never existed in the first place is, like, ironic and cool and funny and clever and stuff, and because you'll never notice it and you would have liked it if you had noticed it it shows you don't exist and never did exist. You can't argue with any of this. If you were real you'd know I'm right. But you don't exist, and never did, so you won't even read this signature. Hah. --UU - natter 15:46, Apr 22

Category:Wandering rants on user talkpages written in the style of the user whose talkpage it is SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:02, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

And Now, an actual, serious question

Dude, if you do actually do check on this ever, I'd appreciate a response to this. The UnSignpost - remember that? It's a year old next week. I wanted to do a little article to mark this momentous occasion featuring comments from the key contributors to the 'Post, and you are one of said individuals. I therefore request a comment, observation, pithy remark or indeed anything from you on the subject of the USP's first birthday. You have over a week's notice here, I'd esteem it a favour if you replied! Hope things are well and so forth. Oh, and who are you again? --UU - natter 08:14, Apr 28

i don't care if you haven't made an edit since january. i don't care if you are blocked for one hundred years. i don't even care if you're being devoured by giant space carrots or some other hilariously absurdist nonsense. we need a cajek showing for this issue. also - please do not see your shadow, as two more weeks of winter will likely damage the uncyclopedia humor crop. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:10, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

That was you!

Good to know you're still on the interwebs somewhere at least! Hope you get less busy enough for a proper visit some time. --UU - natter 14:23, May 13

I see awl

--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:24, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

IC WUT U DID THER. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:40, 13 May

CAJEK! ~ 14:44, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

CAJEK CAJEK CAJEK —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:45, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Here: I'll dance for you.

Hey Penis

You may not remember me, but I think you should MAKE time for Uncyclopedia. What, you have a booming career, maybe a banging hot girlfriend, or too busy with school? So what? Share the lovin, man. You need to spread that beautiful magic of yours around all over the place. Seriously! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 15:33, 13 May 2009

PENISPENISPENIS!!!!!

Mr. Jek! You've returned to reclaim your title as greatest of the Uncyclopedia writers! Huzzah! I'm going to ban you for seven weeks in celebration! -RAHB 04:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

• sigh* Nice to see you Rahb :) Man... I just wrote about whatever I saw first, which happened to be a list of phobias. I hope it's okay. Is there still pee review? How've you been doing? What's going on? Is this some kind of parody site?   Le Cejak • <5:13 May 15, 2009>

I still don't believe in you, this is just a fig tree of my imagination. --UU - natter 08:13, May 15

All fig trees aside, your article is fantastic, pee review still exists, and I've been an administrator for nine months and a member for over two years, and still have no idea what this site is all about. The Unsignpost hit its one year anniversary, I'm still getting a bachelor's degree in Audio Production, and as I type this, my drunken roommate who I thought was sleeping just got out of bed in merely his briefs to go to the restroom, I assume to vomit, though I can't be sure as I'm listening to black metal with headphones on right now. How are you doing? -RAHB 08:56, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, you also reached your 100th ban, fittingly executed by Dr. Skullthumper. Since then, Skull has declared war against logical reasoning and left the internet in a fiery blaze. We expect his imminent return within the month. -RAHB 09:00, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

I missed you guys so much... That doesn't mean I'll be sticking around very long, but Uncyclopedia makes me feel good. I'm sorry, I'm tired... Unsignpost, UU, Led Balloon, 100 bans, audio management. I'm watching an ad for "a major in Golf Management at blahblah University"   Le Cejak • <10:16 May 15, 2009>

On a slightly more serious note, I needed a bit of cheering up today, and just seeing you around, however briefly, has pretty much done that. Good t' see you. Now, get some sleep! ;-) --UU - natter 10:32, May 15

Yay! Thanks UU. Okay, I'm going to bed... Maybe I'll be around for the next few days, depending on how much work I want to do. God it's good seeing everyone again. Alright, enough of this lovefest!   Le Cejak • <11:10 May 15, 2009>

G'night. --UU - natter 11:14, May 15