User talk:Geoffprickett

Welcome!

Hello, Geoffprickett, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump Forum, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Jolly decent of you. Geoffprickett 18:55, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey!

Hi, Mister Geoffprickett! I'm Yettie and I'm just dropping into say hi! Can I help you with anything on Uncyc? Oh and psssstt!! If you want....

You get to er...do mafia stuff. And you get to wear a hat! - [09:37 21 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Okay. So long as it's not a Miss Marple-type granny hat. I've got a wardrobe full of 'em. Geoffprickett 10:56, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Sure, you'll get a manly mafioso hat, like kindly modelled here by myself. - [15:36 22 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Oh and by the way, you've signed up to the CMC, not the Mafia. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but of course it's your choice. - [15:37 22 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Oh bugger. I never know what I'm signing up for. Please feel free to move me to where you think I should've gone. I'll sign anything - it's my major failing. Well, that, and the animal husbandry. Geoffprickett 16:30, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

That's the spirit! Sign anything that gets put in front of you! I'll let you sign up here, cause you have to choose either the Russian or Italian Mafia branch. Have funoso! When you get welcomed a nice little Mafioso should drop around to give you some friendly instructions, if you don't get them then press this panic button and scream as loud as you can. - [19:35 22 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Guess what! You've been accepted into the mafia! Just a tip, most of the guys (and girl) hang out here, and stay up-to-date on mafia business here. Our Capo Bastone Delegato should help you set up an account at our bank, and you might wanna stop bye to make a donation here every once in a while. Need help? Take it up to our help dept. and they'll solve your problems in no time. Business aside, have fun! -- C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum 22:36, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

UN:AAN

Hea! I noticed that you appear to have passed the sticking around Uncyc test! Now you are hooked! We have you in our powers... OK, maybe not... Anyway, if you are looking for adoption, I would be happy to oblige. Basically it does not really mean much, but it does mean that you get to bug me mercilessly if you have any questions about Uncyc, or want help with anything... MrN 21:18, Sep 26

Well, I dunno. Do you get commission or something for doing it? We could go halves on it. Geoffprickett 21:26, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh and thanks once again for the vote of confidence with the N00b thingy. No other bugger voted for me, though. Geoffprickett 21:26, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh, quit you whinging and stick this on your user page...

See, now it's official. You are tainted by me, and as such are doomed to mediocrity... MrN 21:36, Sep 26

Not that I'm whinging again, but it's a bit of a liberty that I should have to put it on my user page. I am adopted, after all.Geoffprickett 21:41, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Have you seen my Minge?

Love your new article....nice work! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Geoff, welcome to the delicate and skilful art of what we (even the few of us who pretend to be straight) call "whoring" as demonstrated by Mhaille (the finest whore this side of the Mersey). Getting noticed is tricky. The really tricky thing is to learn how to whore your articles in a way which does not piss people off... Have you added some good links to your articles into some other articles on Uncyc? Remember the first rule of whoring... BE FUNNY. Do that, and you can get away with murder. Mhaille did. Actually, he just got away with murder, but that's another story... MrN 21:51, Sep 26

I fully understand. I first dipped my toe in (oo-er) last year when I wrote (as OliverKnight) the hugely hilarious Do They Know It's Christmas? (1983 Version) and Carry On Film which I had worked my little socks off on and had a big old hissy fit when they weren't vfh'd. Some beastly people hated them/couldn't understand them and were jolly mean about the whole thing. Does that count?

Geoffprickett 22:04, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Ah, so you are OliverKnight reincarnated!?! Well it's great that you are back. :-) I guess I should do something with your NOTM nom, as I guess it's invalid now... I understand why you might want to create a new account, and that's totally fine. So long as you don't use your old login any more I'm sure it will be no problem. Yea... That VFH thing can be VERY harsh (as you know). I remember what happened, and I remember you leaving. It's best to not take it too seriously really. Sometimes people just don't get the humour and you are not the first person to get kicked in the balls by it. I know that's easy to say and less easy to do... I hope you have a better time on Uncyc this time around. MrN 22:11, Sep 26

Geoffprickett is my married name. Geoffprickett 22:13, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

What was your maiden name? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

OliverKnight Geoffprickett 22:24, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

A doublebarrel name.....you must be one of those classy English types! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Tinkered a little more with your minge. You should visit us in Uncyclopedia:Chat. Its full of English people. Like M&S. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Yes I read that and thanks, because your mention of Geri Halliwell inspired me to give the minges their Spice Girl-type nicknames. Although I'm worried that we might be over-egging the Gary Glitter pudding with two mentions of him? Geoffprickett 18:21, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

I was trying to reference that disturbing 80s show with all the 9 year old girls in makeup and stockings that some TV exec thought was a good idea. Didn't it last something like six episodes before someone started to think it through? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks for the pee...

I more or less agree, only:

• Blank hole (appears later) is already riding on the Megaloscope. The invention is real, cannot help it. Also I must argue that since we're already in a framework where nutty stuff is a given, it would be redundant to put it inside of another frame. Whether this character is funny, or believable enough, is a different story.
• Prose thingy probably correct, it's been ages (days I mean) since I last had a look at this one. Will rewrite.
• Nothing doing with specialist humour - I'm not one so I'm assuming an audience of more or less my own level. The jokes just suck otherwise, probably.

I think I'll just make the Doff thumb smaller. Probably could lighten the workshop pics a bit but I like the drama of the strong contrast, and believe it's a matter of taste. Also there' a practical reason: dark pictures take far less time to build in the 3D software - need less detail. -- Style  Guide 14:51, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Your thanks is welcome. Good luck with the rewrites. Geoffprickett 15:09, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

By the way - check out the Doff pic. I fooled around with the Photoshop filters - he's straight from Hell now! The nonchalant caption makes it a joke all by itself. Maybe I should make it a bit more nonchalant though - probably will. -- Style  Guide 15:27, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Any ideas - the atom idea is a fairly good one - but can you come up with something that makes you laugh if you expect to see an atom? I have the means to produce a variety of stuff, only need an angle to start looking. -- Style  Guide 15:58, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Pee review

Thanks for having a look at my France article. I'm glad you like it, it was not bad for first review, and its well worth keeping going owht them:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:02, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

How about you?

I left the note on Mhaille's page about cooperation, more or less randomly, and he seems to have stuff to do right now. We two seem to write different stuff - would you like to co-write some shit? I have a couple of ideas that would certainly make better pieces if we play some IRC tennis with them. -- Style  Guide 07:50, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Okay. Lead on, sir. Geoffprickett 08:31, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Forgot to watch this page - are you still in? -- Style  Guide 08:51, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Yes no problem. What kind of article did you have in mind? Geoffprickett 16:37, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

let's go to IRC chat if you're in now? quicker, instant feedback -- Style  Guide 16:38, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Minge

Occurred to me you could just hint at the nature of the audition process, and link it to something lewd. -- Style  Guide 09:02, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Pee Reviews

Hea there good sir. I noticed that you have been doing a few good deeds over at UN:PEE... I wondered if you might think about making a page to keep track of the reviews which you have done. I do here... I find it handy sometimes to keep track of what I have done. Also, it's useful should you every get involved in something or other... Sycamore will probably be impossible to beat this month, but next month is a different story... MrN 02:30, Oct 7

Ooh crikey, I'm not worried about any of that.... Most of the reviews I gave probably didn't endear me to anyone, anyway. Geoffprickett 11:23, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote

Thanks for the vote on France Now let's go strike again!

— Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:46, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

You are most truly welcome, sir. Funny article. Geoff Prickett  (Speech) 21:05, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Chill!

How do Geoff, now you may not know me, as I've been away for most of the last month, but I hate to see promising users clear out, so I thought I'd say something. Don't leave because of an against vote - even one like that Skull gave you. Thing is, everyone gets against votes, and it can sometimes take a little while to get the feeling for what works on here and what doesn't. Keep writing, you get better at it, and the features start to come. Some of our best authors have had more than one article voted down and failed at VFH, and they just come back with something better. Syc, for example - I've voted against more than one of his articles (and it's not the humour/humor thing either, we're both from the same side of the pond), but there's nothing personal in it, and I'm very glad when he produces something like France that I can vote for happily.

Another tip is to take any pee review with one line per box from a user with a handful of edits with a large pinch of salt. Finally, instead of leaving, why not try writing another article, one so good that Skull will fall over himself to vote for? He has been known to vote for UK-centric articles before, I promise! Anyway, I'll sign off here, but hope to see you around! --UU - natter 08:13, Oct 9

(This is why I'm against against votes on VFH, guys. What good does it do us? We may lose a good new contributor!)   Le Cejak • <13:01 Oct 09, 2008>

Against people being against against votes on VFH, but we've had this discussion before. Then you cut off my hand and told me you were my father. No... No! That's not true! That's impossible! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:25, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Don't be a diva

As per the above bit, this is overreacting. Hence, I put in this bit, which was underreacting, just to balance it out. Now it's just reacting. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:45, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Modus and UU speak the true voice of the force, VFH is not a thing to aim for in writing articles - I hope you reconsider. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:52, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Funnily enough, Geoff, the very first page I ever nominated to be featured of mine was my article on Playstation 4, which got shot down in flames. I changed not much more than the first paragraph, and it then passed with flying colors. The moral of the story? Take the against votes, use the helpful bits, and fix, fix, fix. And even so, the real joy of being here: at least for me: is just writing. I write a lot of stuff geared to never be featured just because I have fun doing it. Stick around, man, you're helpful and I was looking forward to having a new enthusiastic user about. --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 21:26, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

OK...

Enough of all this bollocks. Here's the short and curries of it... You are a very talented writer. That's why I put a bit of effort into working with ya when you first popped in with (The Farmer's Wife's Got A Four Inch Crack In Her, But She Ain't) Broken. I noticed there that you had "that spark"... The thing is, in most of your writing since your return to Uncyc you have been playing the sexual humour card a little bit too hard. Not everyone likes it rammed down their throat you know. Yes, that was sexual... The problem you have hit has been that all the sexy stuff has gone and obscured the fact that your articles are actually very good. People don't see the good stuff if there is something which they dislike more. I think you need to do four things...

1. Be a bit more subtle with the sexual innuendo. Everyone likes to be discreet right?
2. Send me some more cash in the post. Your last payment bounced, and with the credit crunch and all, someone is going to get hit with some skulduggery or something.
3. Fuck VFH. Don't self nominate on it. Others will do that if it's appropriate.
4. Really Fuck VFH. Like I said on my talk page. Write for yourself, not VFH. You should write for your own amusement firstly, and just because the current user base of Uncyc might not appreciate what you have written does not mean that countless other will take the same view.
5. Teach me how to count correctly.

MrN 22:22, Oct 10

I agree, I am totally against the repeated use of sexual innuendo for cheap laughs, used repeatedly, over and over again, repeatedly. On another note, could you have a look at this for me? Thanks. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Very subtle. ;) MrN 22:34, Oct 10

I always like to squeeze a little bit more in. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

It's a fine erection... MrN 00:10, Oct 11

Here's the deal - And to be serious for a minute. This is all down to frustration on my part born out of years of unsuccessful attempts at a writing career. We're talking rejection city (although probably no more than other people have experienced) For some reason (don't ask me why) I have always viewed VFH as the ultimate acceptance on Uncycl. All my attempts to feature have failed, leaving me mystified as to how to get on there! My original thinking is possibly throw enough articles and some will stick and I know now it's silly. I agree that I am trying too hard and accept that I am taking the whole VFH thing far too seriously. I will promise to ease up on the desperation to be as liked as Sally Field was at the Oscars. Thank you for all the advice, it will be well-heeded. Geoff Prickett  (Speech) 17:54, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

You know what you should do? Keep aspiring for VFH, cuz it's a good feeling to get a feature, but wait until someone else nominates your article. People who nom on VFH check special:recentchanges, and they know their funny. If, after a week, your article doesn't get any attention move on to a new one. It's easy, really. Some articles "work" and some "don't". I had to learn that the hard way, my friend.   Le Cejak • <17:58 Oct 11, 2008>

Thanks for the vote

Also get your ass back here and write stuff!--Sycamore (Talk) 17:28, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Dear Valued Mafia Member,

Dear Valued Mafioso,

I am very sorry to be encroaching on your talkpage. Please feel free to move this message without incurring the wrath of the mob. You are, whether you remember or not, a member of the Uncyclopedia Mafia. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Family has been inactive recently. However, members of the Family believe that now is the time for our little business to burst back into the spotlight.

Mafia 2.0 promises:

• MORE violence
• MORE whores
• MORE gambling
• MORE guns
• MORE pointless awards
• MORE positions to be filled
• MORE of an actual purpose

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community.

As a current member we are proposing that you should help the Family, once more, by becoming an active member. We humbly present you with the following options:

1. Simply reply here, saying you are willing to continue being a member of the Mafia.
2. Sign the code {{u|<insert name here>}} here to opt out of the Mafia.
3. If you do not reply within ten (10) days you will deemed inactive and stripped of your current full Mafia membership.
4. Reply here saying you are willing to continue as part of the Mafia and then request one of the several senior roles within the Mafia that need filling at my office.

As of 21:39 7 August 2010 the following roles within the Mafia require filling. If you would like one of the positions please request it at the above mentioned office.

• Personal Secretary to the Don (with special privileges)
• Capo Bastone (deputy to the Don)
• Chariman of the Italian branch of the family
• Capo Bastone Delegato (deputy to the Capo Bastone)

Yours Sincerely,
Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
[18:29 7 August 2010]