Babel:W2
March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.)
- 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend.
- 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War.
- 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss.
- 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows.
- 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries.
- 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags.
- 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone.
- 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy.
- Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence (Pictured)
- Kardashian and Ye do washed up things
- We have road copters
- Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area
- UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg
- Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening
- UnSports update for February!
- USA and Canada take their trade war to the ice hockey rink. Literally.
- Philadelphia Eagles ruin Super Bowl "3-peat" dreams for Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift
- And more!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • Release of all the JFK and Epstein Files, purportedly • March Madness • Tornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors
Recent deaths: Michelle Trachtenberg • Gene Hackman, wife and dog, too • Skype • Kingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensions • Space Ghost • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers • Meghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe
Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • "Snow Woke and the Seven Pronouns" • Your March Madness bracket and bank account • Tornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie
- Why is book?
- Halloween Ends
- Stranger Things (rw)
- G.I. Jane
- G.I. Jane 2
- UnTunes:Santa Baby
- This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
- Fairytale
- UnTunes:Shoes
- Uncyclopedia:Business (rw)
- Halloween Kills
- UnTunes:Perry the Platypus
- Elon's Musk
- UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw)
- UnTunes:Rio
- Herodotus (rw)
- Brawny
- Lawnmower-Humvee (rw)
- Steve Wozniak (rw)
- Narrative (rw)
- Bryan Adams High School
- Alex Trebek
- Lincoln Logs
- Brexit
- Where Is Everybody?
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals)
- Avi Toledano
- Eli Roth
- Film (remake)
- African American
- Worst 100 Reflections on 2018
- Ray Charles
- Bernardo Butterlucci
- Urban Dictionary
March 26, 2025
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Dr. Kyle Charles Finnegan (born November 24th, 1942), better known as One Out of Ten Doctors, is a famed medical doctor and the tenth and final member of the elite Council Of Expert Doctors (or C.O.E.D.), an association noted for their advisory regarding taking certain medication. Dr. Finnegan is somewhat the outsider in C.O.E.D, and is the only member who always opposes every conventional medicine, while the other nine out of ten typically approve every single medicine.
Dr. Finnegan also works part-time as a dentist, and within this field he is best known for being the one out of five dentists in opposition to Trident gum. Dr. Finnegan's recent activities include campaigning for the legalization of medicinal marijuana, fighting medical malpractice, and trying to prove to an ignorant world that Dr. Phil is not a real doctor. (Full article...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
March 26, 2025
- ...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
And some others, in case you missed them...
March 26, 2025
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
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A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred." Image credit: Zombiebaron |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
March 26, 2025
Congratulations for March's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
 Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! | ||
 Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. | ||
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You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!