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Communist Literature Let's get one thing straight, my dear Wats-onium. (Puffs cigar). When you're talking magnetism, you're talking about me. I've got the highest magnetic moment of ANY naturally occurring element. You could call it a magnetic personality. I pull the facts right out of the air. Things are just drawn to me. Like you, and don't deny it. It's a gift, from me to you. (Gestures to empty seat in front of desk) In my pure, elemental form, I'm a bright, silvery character. Soft enough to be cut with a knife, IF you can get close enough. But I don't stay pristine for long. (Coughs). The streets of this world, this city, the damp air, they tarnish me, give me a yellowish oxide coat. (Coughs again). It adds character, and everyone loves character. (Throws down cigar and picks up pipe). (Full article...) Recently featured: HowTo:Commit Tax Fraud by Giving Away Your Chocolate Factory Antipasta The Finals Fuck Around and Find Out Archive · Vote for featured articles · All You Need To Know Is... *... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!	The People's Controlled Media Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas. Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured) Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025 • Stranger Things On This Day... December 31: Fuck, What Did I Do This Whole Fucking Year? Day 2000 BC - The Ancient Sumerians are the first to observe the New Year as a way to celebrate their slowly impending deaths. 1788 - The Scottish convince the world they need to sing at New Year's Eve at midnight, write a song whose lyrics are completely unpronounceable. 1900 - The first glowing ball thing that drop when the year ends is invented, initially as a terrorist plot by Irish extremists. 2010 - Manufacturers of those novelty glasses shaped like the number of the year start to worry. 2017 - Novelty glasses makers give up and just make normal glasses with the years put on top like a bunch of fucking cowards. 2025 - You think to yourself: next year's gonna be the year I get my shit together, I'm gonna lose 10 pounds, quit drinking, start opening up to people... 2026 - It's a year later, and yet another year has come and gone with nothing to show for it. Maybe next year...
Featured picture E.T., Spielberg's classic Science Fiction film, joins the ranks of movies not needing sequels to get a sequel. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month Writer Here NooB Here Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

CommUnNews The news source on crack

CommUncyclopedia The capitalist-free encyclopedia

CommUndictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid

CommUnTunes Music to piss off the savage beast

Communist Women Go Wilde Project Communpedia's founder tells all

CommUnMeta How Communpedia doesn't work

CommUnBooks Capitalist-free books

CommUnquotable Useless misquotes galore

CommUncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it

Communpedia languages

Communpedia English		Inciclopedia Español	Désencyclopédie Français		Nonsensopedia Polski
Ikkepedia Norsk		Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά	Nonciclopedia Italiano		伪基百科 简化字
Desciclopédia Português		Eincyclopedia עברית	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk		アンサイク ロペディア 日本語
Psyklopedin Svenska		Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch	Hikipedia Suomi		Unciklopédia Magyar
Абсурдопедия Русский		Keinziklopedie יידיש	Valenciclopèdia Valencian		偽基百科 正體中文
اونسایکلوپدیا فارسی (Persian·Farsi)	Onziclopedie Nederlands	لاويكيبيديا العربية	Necyclopædia Latina	Necyklopedie A CzechBook	Neciklopedija Српски
언사이클로피디어 한국어	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy	Absurdipēdijā Latviešu	Nunyepedia Asturianu	Butalopedija Slovenščina
	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,140 articles. Uncyclopedias are also being written in many other languages:

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