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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.

As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)

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... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
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... that Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is the the real Man of Steel?

... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
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... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?

... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)

... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?

... that Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is the the real Man of Steel?

... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?

... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)

... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?

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Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia) • Avicii (according to Wikipedia) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends CommUnNews – Radio Free Vodka**
On This Day...
March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day 1797 - The Bank of England issues the country's first currency to feature a smug, grinning monarch. 1867 - First Reconstruction laws: replaces slavery with "technically-not-slavery", which is not slavery. Technically. 1917 - The people of Puerto Rico are granted U.S. citizenship, to make the colonial exploitation that much more painful. 1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook. 1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad. 1995 - Yahoo! is created, Nintendo immediately sues the site for stealing Mario's orgasm sound. 2017 - Scientists discover a side-effect of watching Guy Fieri (Pictured) marathons on the Food Network: severe internal bleeding. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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