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The People's Republic of China is a pivotal support mechanism for the retail industry worldwide, although some believe they may have their own agenda.
China is populated by perhaps the most resourceful hardworking people on Earth, yet despite some of the strictest social engineering known to man, the Chinese still hog all the best quality crab legs in the buffet rather than waiting in an orderly line. Chinese moms force their babies to play violin until their fingers bleed; the dumb ones learn viola instead. Also, they put a fuck-ton of MSG in their food, which is actually pretty tasty.
Everything was invented in China, including gunpowder, paper, the compass, opium, pandas, panda-huffing devices, avian flu, SARS, bat recipes, COVID-19, USA's debt, Amazon Prime and CCTV; you name it, they invented it before anyone else. They also invented rhino horn aphrodisiac powder, Confucianism (a severely autistic, highly regimented version of Filial Piety), kidney harvesting and the Wu Tang Clan. While they didn't invent babies, they do mass produce them deep inside the VaChina. Bada bing! The male babies are then sent to work producing industrial glycine, and the female ones are sent to the streaming mines to post pirated clips of TV shows, except the captions are wrong and the video gets horizontally flipped every 2.7 seconds. (Full article...)
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| *... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
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November 19: Buy the Turkey Stuffing Day
- 2500 BC - Pharaoh Whahuti invents the phrase 'thank you' and requests the phrase to be planted on every garbage can.
- 461 - St. Hilarius becomes Pope. Ironically, his pontificate turns out to be only mildly amusing.
- 1605 - Puritans get food from Native Americans, then drive them away and take their land in traditional American fashion.
- 1716 - Sir Isaac Newton coins the phrase 'Thanks a lot!'. Unfortunately, it gets no recognition among trash men. Seconds later, he coins the phrase 'What a prick."
- 1942 - Stalingrad: Soviet Union forces under General Zhukov launch the Operation Uranus counterattacks, turning the tide of the battle in the USSR's favor. Stalin radios for information and asks him, "How's Uranus doing?"
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When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.
Image credit: Sunsneezer
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