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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature MADRID, Spain – A new exhibition of remains recovered from the ancient city of Pompeii have led academics to question what happened to cause such a decline in the size and shape of Italian cocks. Sculptures on display show the locals boasted penises of considerable note, around 12 inches in length, and with a helmet so pointy that experts are suggesting that they may have been used for hunting or fishing. Such towering shafts are a world away from the cazzo of Michelangelo's David, sculpted 1500 years later in the same country. Measuring 1.2 inches, it has bemused art historians for centuries. Some explained its size away as a symptom of Michelangelo's sexual preferences. Famously, Brian Sewell wrote, "Any phallus, no matter how minuscule, can be a pleasant stimulant to the anus." Others claimed that it was due to the 17th century having a different aesthetic of the ideal man, or because of religious modesty. (Full news...) Recently featured: Vladimir Nabokov Roger Ebert Humphrey Bogart Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day 1017 BC - Plato invents a wicked new toy, but squirrels it away for centuries. Not until the New King James translation of his world famous book The Republic is it rediscovered. Nought-686 AD - Conan of Cimmeria becomes Pope, is contracted to star in Conan the Destroyer. 1020 - Some German honkies were enjoyinng a very nice section of the Black Forest until some Romans come sack their village. Today is the day they payed those Degos back with interest. 16-nought-Nine AD - Ninja Turtle Raphael starts beautifying some buildings in Rome. He will one day paint the perfect pizza. 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms. 18-nought-Five AD - Battle of Trafalgar. French/Spanish/Dutch PWND by Nelson. 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered. 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time 1998 - The $5 bill was invented 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again. 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States. 2009 - You read this. 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985. 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas. 1986 - KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day NOW YOU FUCKED UP! edit News "I liked Winter Soldier." Comcast moves TCM to sports package Mick Mulvaney admits quid pro quo Stanley Kubrick resurrected, asked his opinion on Marvel movies (Pictured) Joe Biden's plan for black people Sam Smith's family thank fans UnNews remembers Lord Zedd New Apple Watch to tell the time Boxcar Bertha to be Scorsese's shortest movie ever Forest animals seen singing, dancing after death of David Koch Illegal aliens to be deported back to Andromeda galaxy Coyote $21,000 in debt Florida man turns Spider-Man into John Carpenter's They Live Where will Muse be in fifteen years? Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that this is why we can't have nice things? Do you worry... ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass? Read Many
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