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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature HOLLYWOOD -- People Magazine has revealed the Sexiest Man Dead for 2019... Hollywood icon James Dean. Born February 8, 1931, in Marion Indiana, James Byron Dean became a teen rebel in two Hollywood classics -- East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause -- before dying in a car crash September 30, 1955, at the age of 24. He released one last movie, the posthumous Giant. Now, nearly 65 years later, Dean is ready for his comeback. He has been announced to star in a 2020 movie about the Vietnam War. "Back in my day, it was impossible for a dead guy to get any work," Dean says. "Now with the futuristic computer whosits and whatsits and gizmos, I can play my old, unzombied self for all eternity. On the flip side, I can forgo computers and do horror movies. I'm talking with Greg Nicotero about guest starring on The Walking Dead." (Full news...) Recently featured: UnNews:James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead Climate change UnBooks:Letters from the end Eritrea Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day January 17: Kick Pigeons in the Face Day 395 - The Eastern Roman Empire and the Western Roman Empire split after "insurmountable creative differences." 1918 - The Finnish Civil War begins after the Finns decide that they might as well get their Civil War done right away. 1945 - The Soviets liberate Warsaw from Nazi Germany, decide to adopt Poland as their own. Aww. 1946 - The UN Security Council wonders what the UK is doing there. It's just an island. 1961 - Dwight D. Eisenhower makes final speech warning America about the monster that lives in your closet. 1987 - The New York City Transit Authority sponsors a pigeon kicking holiday (Pictured) in response to the bird poop derailing all their trains. 2004 - The Doomsday Clock is set four minutes to midnight after scientists realize the time on their microwave is two minutes off. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day NOW YOU FUCKED UP! edit News Hannity to Maddow: Nope, not listening. La la la la la. Hannity scrambles to intervew Levi Parnas (Pictured) Pansexual announces she is Liberal Democrat Black Panther director on Gilliam's Brazil: "WTF?!" Trump tweets: "impeach the pres" Trump impeached, Christmas cancelled Epstein didn't kill himself, says Kotter Democrats blame 50m for voting wrong way in 2016 Eddie Van Halen: Who's Billie Eilish? Dragnet reboot, Black Friday, debuts Friday James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead UnNews will now only write about sports Comcast moves TCM to sports package Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? Do you worry... ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money? Read Many
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