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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature A student loan is, ostensibly, a financial device utilized to enable aspiring professionals to attend institutions of higher education, even when they lack the funds necessary to pay for their tuition and fees. In reality, student loans are a mechanism for modern day indentured servitude, as thousands of indebted students graduate into a marketplace that is either unable to employ them, or is only able to under-employ them. The end result is that students are becoming slaves to debt that they cannot discharge in bankruptcy and that will cripple them until the day they die. They will spend their days toiling in coffee shops for minimum wage while going home every day to sleep in their parents' basement, living off of cheap fast food and driving used Honda Civics with hundreds of thousands of miles on the odometer. (Full article...) Recently featured: Principality of Sealand UnDebate:Should women rap? UnDebate:What does the fox say? UnDebate:The UnPresidential Debate Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) no bloody A, B, C, or D! September 16: Talk Like Scotty From Star Trek Day 1903 - While investigating the breakdown of a prototype airplane engine, Orville Wright exclaims "Mah bairns! Mah poor bairns..." 1912 - When urged by Captain Edward Smith to increase engine power to aviod an iceberg, the head engineer of the RMS Titanic replies, "I've giv'n her all she's got captain, an' I cannah give her no more." 1962 - After John F. Kennedy says "I am a doughnut" in German instead of "I am a Berliner", the mayor of West Berlin whispers to him, "Laddy, don't you think you should be rephrasing that?" 1970 - While preparing for reentry after their journey back to Earth, Astronaut Jack Swigert informs mission pilot Jim Lovell "The energizer's bypassed like a Christmas tree, so don't give me too many bumps." 1972 - After hilltopping and getting into general mayhem in Hazzard county with the General Lee, Uncle Jesse warns the Puke boys that "She won't take much more of this." 1988 - Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev defeats President Ronald Reagan in a game of Pac-Man. Tension brews between the two nations as a result. 1993 - During the O. J. Simpson trial, Judge Ito declares, "This jury-rigging won't last for long, Captain." 2000 - Osama bin Laden tells Saddam Hussein about his plan to hijack planes, to which Hussein responds, "Are ye daft lad?!" 2005 - When asked by the United States to return its diplomats to the Six Nation Talks, North Korea's Kim Jong-Il replies, "Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank." 1993 - Nick Jonas, the bane of teenage existence, is born. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day NOW YOU FUCKED UP! edit News A*Teens reunite 40 years later UnNews' exclusive interview with God (Pictured) R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal Patrick eats SpongeBob O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting Citizen Kane sucks John Kerry comes out as a horse Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to" Mike Pence turns into a pickle It is all happening Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed Grodin Museum reopens to public Old movies are suddenly offensive Northeast getting another blizzard Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? Do you worry... ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? Read Many
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