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Morbius is a 2022 science-fiction antihero-based film based on an obscure manga, filmed in an underground cesspit, produced by Columbia Pictures "in association" with Marvel and distributed by Sony. Morbius stars everybody's favorite celebrity, alleged pedo, and clown (no, really) Jared Leto – acknowledged for acting in comparable pieces of film, such as 2016's Suicide Squad – as the eponymous Dr. Michael Morbius Morbin', a personality noteworthy for engaging in esoteric acts of manslaughter, in other words, morbing – a term that has since become to define thriving accomplishment, in honor of the film's performance and what Morbius does in Morbius. Alongside Leto, stars Matt Smith, who plays our main antagonist, and amongst others, John Doe, Man and other above-the-line pseudonymous individuals from Leto's alleged "cult".

Morbius came into fruition in 2019 following the success of Sony's Venom, the first film in a separate "universe" of films of their own constructed to further convolute that of Marvel's, almost as if the two franchises were divorced parents. This is overt given that Morbius has been claimed by Sony to be adjacent to another film thence. Furthermore, despite Sony's affirmation of this trilogy merely consisting of films regarding your perhaps-not-friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, Morbius lacks any clear interrelation thereof aside from in the marketing, but this was all just done to get the fans and commentators in on the unsuspected fever. Morbius, during production, was postponed some innumerable (read: six) times due to the spontaneous intercourse with a bat a pseudonymous actor on set engaged in during filming, hence the expanse of the COVID epidemic.

Upon release, Morbius has been largely alluded to by critics as "one of the films of all time", with many commending the film towards the facts that the writers wrote, the editors edited, the actors acted, the distributors distributed, the Morbiī morbed and the Milo had sex, and pooped his pants, his pants. The film grossed $163.9 million worldwide, which corresponds to roughly Ⓜ352,922,847,246,203 in Morbucks (a single Morbuck is worth $70,011,937, judging by what the big-shot mathemagicians presume). (Full article...)

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  • 3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "There is no dog!"
  • 1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
  • 1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
  • 1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
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