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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature McDonald's is a chain of restaurants that serves "fusty food". Their menu includes hamburgers, french fries (Put mayo on mine, please!), chicken, milkshakes, and other marvelous synthetic products of dubious ingredients. Recently, after protests by flat-earthers, McDonald's has added "healthy food" such as salads and fruits. Extensive testing and reformulation successfully made them as greasy and bad for the body as the rest of the menu. McDonald's has locations all over the world, and is coming soon to the rest of the universe. There is no place without a McDonald's there, or at least nearby; they have become as common as air pollution and the girl next door. The chain's strategy is to achieve a single monopoly where people have no choice but to eat every meal there. Corporate training consists of re-running the movie WALL-E. (Full article...) Recently featured: McDonald's Jeffrey Epstein UnNews:James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead Climate change Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day March 27: Typhoid Mary Day 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls. 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people. 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured) 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad." 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare. 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day NOW YOU FUCKED UP! edit News Britney Spears is a Red. Hannity column: Britney Spears is a fucking commie (Pictured) U.S. to foreign actor Gerard Depardieu: "Stay out of our elections" Avoid the coronavirus: tips for readers K-pop supports BTS XFL to launch franchises in pissed off markets The Who plan to lower insulin prices Yang a "coronavirus carrier," says Trump Trump butchers Franz Ferdinand hit Internet troll scores major win with stunning display of statesmanship Hannity scrambles to intervew Levi Parnas Pansexual announces she is Liberal Democrat Black Panther director on Gilliam's Brazil: "WTF?!" Trump tweets: "impeach the pres" Trump impeached, Christmas cancelled Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? Do you worry... ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? Read Many
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