Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
A hauntingly compelling vision of crash consumerism in Mona Lisa Overdrive, the American Dream continues to call its public on closer to the precipice of overweight hubris. The most successful public relations campaign of all time, even exceeding that of Stephen King and surprise silent partner Jimmy Carter's conspiracy to Scare the Hell Out of Everbody at $36 a hardcover pop, this barbecue heat-shimmering vision transcends all times, all moral values, and all tax classifications. What is this silent killer, and why does it draw the ambitious onward like trailer park girls to a free keg party?
Existing as a featured article under the right to pursue Happiness with an itchy trigger finger, the American Dream rapidly gained a large following. Virginian, Carolinian and Georgian landowners resisted the idea, claiming that as they had gotten there first they deserved all the gains. Yankee carpetbaggers, naturally, disagreed.
| “ | Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man | ” |
— Ronald Reagan, on some guy named Inflation
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Donald Ronald "The Donald" Trump, Sr. (born June 14, 1946) is an unevenly tanned American, real estate developer, reality television personality, a closeted secret agent from either Russia, China or North Korea, cereal rapist and intermittent Republican candidate who served as the 45th Televised President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. Following his landslide electoral victory against Kamala "Cometh in the Morning" Harris, he is now the current 47th President, wherein he will serve his scheduled term from 2025 until Elon Musk finishes taking over all three branches of government.
Born in New York City, Trump migrated to Florida in 2019 as part of the natural lifecycle of New Yorkers. Before he became Commander-in-chief, Trump dipped his big toe into politics by yelling at Obama on Fox and Friends. He ran for President on a platform condemning the political establishment and their Muslim–Chinese–Mexican vanguards. Trump won the 2016 election on the tried and true campaign strategy of not being Hillary Clinton. However, he faltered in the 2020 election against Joe Biden due to his campaign strategy of being Donald Trump. Prior to leaving office, he ordered hordes of deplorable rednecks on mobility scooters to storm the U.S. Capitol and vandalize all of Nancy Pelosi's favorite vending machines. He won again in 2024 on the even more tried and true campaign strategy of not being a woman.
- ... that the Republicans chose the elephant to be their political symbol because they are fat, heavy and like to trample over Black people?
- ... that a Civil War is a form of warfare defined by its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to other methods like total warfare?
- ... that a Civil War is a form of warfare defined by its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to other methods like total warfare?
- ... that in the China, reading this website will lower your social credit score by five points per visit?
- ... that Political correctness is the state of being right about politics all the time, and should therefore be encouraged as much as possible?
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