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Portal:Politics

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The Politics Portal

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Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)


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A die hard capitalist out for a walk.

Capitalism, more widely known as Crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin word "capital" meaning "head" and "ism" meaning "gooey, cheese like substance." It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league." Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as 'oppressors'. It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of Capital Letters.

Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights." This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding...…

Archive Article credit: Nyuknyuknyuknyuk (more…)



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43rd President of the United States

George Wonderful Bush (born July 6, 1946) is an American politician, businessman, and comedian who was the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009 and the 46th Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000. Born in New Haven, Connecticut, Bush is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. After completing his edumucation, he worked in the energy business, and married Laura Welch in 1977.

Bush served for six glorious years as the 46th Governor of the State of Texas, where he earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy based on the principles of bipartisanship, limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control.…

Archive Article credit: Bradaphraser (more...)


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This Day in Politics

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Quote of the Day

“The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by Indian homosexuals working for the KGB. ”

– Clive James
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Did You Know...

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Notable Politicians

Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:

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