Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Women's Suffrage International (WSI) is a worldwide non-profit organization run entirely by women that strives to let all non-women know how much women have suffered. The organization has achieved great success in Western countries (where men are now painfully aware of how much women have suffered), though it has made little headway in the Middle East, South America, Africa, most of Asia, and Australia (where the suffering of women has been glibly ignored).
For truly as women have suffered since time immemorial, men have ignored their suffering. For example, long-suffering Mary Holcombe of Napoleon, Ohio, has suffered for at least 17 years in her strained, loveless marriage to her "good-for-nothing, beer-swilling" husband Russell. Women's Suffrage aims to help women like Mary spread her suffering to others, so that they, too, may know how badly she suffers.
| “ | The crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight. So when you make them up, give me a inch that I can let out there, because they cut me. They're just like riding a wire fence | ” |
— Lyndon B. Johnson, on his pants
| ||
George Wanker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is an American politician, businessman, and comedian who was the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009 and the 46th Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000. Born in New Haven, Connecticut, Bush is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. After completing his edumucation, he worked in the energy business, and married Laura Welch in 1977.
Bush served for six glorious years as the 46th Governor of the State of Texas, where he earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy based on the principles of bipartisanship, limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control. There is now no Governor of Texas, as the Senate unanimously voted to leave the position permanently open, believing that nobody could do a better job than George.
Bush was elected president in 2000, where he fairly and balancedly defeated Al Gore. He was re-elected by a landslide in 2004, beating out John Kerry. Eight months into Bush's first term, 9/11 occurred; in response, he initiated the War on Terror, an entirely peaceful means of bringing about change that was widely regarded as necessary. As part of the War on Terror, the Iraq War came into fruition; it involved liberating more than 30,000 Iraqi citizens from Saddam Hussein's tyranny.
- ... that swing states are called "swing states" after Jazz musicians, who frequently vacillate between being Democratic or Republican?
- ... that U.S. President John F. Kennedy started the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad?
- ... that Hồ Chí Minh was declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in his high school yearbook?
- ... that the UKIP political manifesto included a section on using homeless people to save the endangered red squirrel?
- ... that Political correctness is the state of being right about politics all the time, and should therefore be encouraged as much as possible?
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