Portal:Politics
The Politics Portal
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)
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| A die hard capitalist out for a walk. |
Capitalism, more widely known as Crapitalism, derives its roots from the Latin word "capital" meaning "head" and "ism" meaning "gooey, cheese like substance." It was created by a group of men calling themselves the "justification league." Capitalism has been misunderstood by the left and right of the political spectrum: Capitalism's ultimate purpose is to allow those born into luxury to justify to themselves that they deserve it, and to give those not born into luxury a life purpose to dismiss those creating wealth as 'oppressors'. It Can Also Mean The Study and Worship Of Capital Letters.
Capitalism is a system of idiot economics that entails the rights of the elite to control the means of production and enslave the workers, with limited state control and judicially preserved property "rights." This system rewards those who create what the market is demanding...
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Donald Rumsfeld demonstrates his penchant for papercraft.
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| Come on man, let's sit down and chat. |
Psst. You. Yeah, you. Come on, don't stare at me like that. Listen, I got a little offer for you. Something really useful for you. What? No, don't look at me like that.
What are you getting at?
Come on now, "getting at" is such a harsh term. I've got this fucking valuable thing, and I can't just give it away for nothing. A good old colored friend of mine is giving up a position in power. I'm supposed to "appoint" his replacement. That's where you come in.
You want me to bribe you?
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would never consider bribing. Let's just say it's empty, and I've got to fill it in. Let's also say, with a little push, you might have an "influence" on my decision.…
| Archive | Article credit: Terrakyte | (more...) |
This Day in Politics
- 1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook.
Quote of the Day
“One thing I can say about George...he may not be able to keep a job, but he likes a good handjob. ”
– Barbra Bush on George Bush.
Did You Know...
- ...that Joe Biden is a fan of the Pope's.
- ...that Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song 'Happy Birthday'.
- ...that former enemies, United States and Russia now have a great deal in common - they both have the highest incarceration rates.
Notable Politicians
Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:
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