Portal:Politics
Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (See more...)
Republican Party Pornography (also known as Red Meat) is the objectification of objects near and dear to the hearts of millions of red blooded Americans. As with other forms of pornography, it is the idea of putting on display those things and objects which would otherwise be forbidden and then objectifying them turns them into something exciting.
Republican Party Pornography may be as simple as taking the word and twisting the meaning into something that would flunk someone taking a high school vocabulary test, or it can be as complex as trotting Alaska’s Republican Governor Sarah Palin out onto a stage in Minnesota to say a few choice words, and out comes the penii of every horny Republican man everywhere to masturbate while watching the Republican National Convention.
| “ | See if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper (belches) ends around under my—back to my bunghole | ” |
— Lyndon B. Johnson, on his bunghole
| ||
Dennis Kucinich's wife may be the hottest wife or mistress who has ever walked the halls on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., according to The Hill newspaper's centerfold section and presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. "Even I think she's hot," says Goodwin, "and I haven't been with a woman in years."
Hot. Her London neighbors thought she was sizzling, her relatives thought she was smokin', and all the stars in the sky thought "This girl is so aces that one day she will marry an American movie star and probably take up Scientology".
Then, upon entering Year Two (the school would not allow her to attend early infant school, saying it would have disrupted the classrooms, hallways, and the headmaster's office), her hotness did not diminish, but increased, sometimes on a daily basis. As the years came and went, and Mother Nature continued to carve Her masterpiece from flesh and bone, Dennis Kucinich's wife looks stunned and enchanted the growing crowd of British onlookers. Photographs taken from a discrete distance were sold door-to-door in her neighborhood, and soon nationally, and then throughout Europe.
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that the Sunset Advisory Commission is a government agency created solely to combat the tyranny of effective governance?
- ... that in the China, reading this website will lower your social credit score by five points per visit?
- ... that Political correctness is the state of being right about politics all the time, and should therefore be encouraged as much as possible?
- ... that the Republicans chose the elephant to be their political symbol because they are fat, heavy and like to trample over Black people?
-
Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
Meta-Portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia
