Animal Farm
“This place is creepy ...”
“It’s about a farm with communist animals.”
“I’m dating Oprah!”
Animal Farm was an English rural holiday resort and theme park owned by pigs, operated in collusion with Mankind and run by "would-be livestock". It was the precursor to Disneyland, a massively up-scaled imitation.
The new order[edit | edit source]
Animal Farm was the result of a 1945 coup d'état. It was masterminded by a single Berkshire boar (b. 1940), known subsequent to the uprising as Napoleon I. With the help of his human aide, Mr. Whymper, Napoleon was able to convert the farm into first a petting zoo, and then a holiday resort catering to young families from the upper middle classes. Napoleon would sire three pigs with bows (representing rhetorical propaganda promoting the new order); these pigs led many uprisings and what-not. This is featured in the hit video game series "Dynasty Bitches" following primarily the story of the dogs. The new order would fall and rise again on a Vietnamese farm in the 1960s.
The story[edit | edit source]
Four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad for legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs bad four legs good two legs better send Boxer to the glue factory for some whiskey.
The ending[edit | edit source]
It sucked.
Disney[edit | edit source]
The Napoleon family, now a major porcine dynasty, remained the proprietors of Animal Farm until 1955, when their mockery of socialist ideals and hatred of Jews caught the eye of one Walter E. Disney. A gigantic takeover followed swiftly and the Napoleon brothers became the youngest multi-millionaires in Britain. When he turned 16 Napoleon married Disney's daughter. Their sons and her "nephew" eventually relocated to Acapulco to lie in the sun until atrophy set in.
The first act of the new management was a "labour reassignment drive", which saw every member of the current non-human workforce turned inside out and their skins fashioned into costumes.
