Neko
 |  |
| Neko | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Kingdom | Animalia |
| Phylum | Chordata |
| Class | Mammalia |
| Order | Antropoformia |
| Family | Furra |
| Genus | Animae |
| Species | A. nekus |
A neko (猫) is a mythological creature that comes from the island of Japan. A breed of furries, nekos are relatives of the kitsunes, with which they share several traits such as their cuteness and their need for a romantical partner.
The name neko is often translated into English as catgirl, in the case of female nekos, or catboys, in the case of male ones.
Characteristics[edit | edit source]
Like every other known species belonging to the furries, nekos have similar characteristics to those found in the homo sapiens species, but also shares several traits found in different mammals – in this case, those of a cat. As a result, their body is very similar to human anatomy, but have huge eyes, a fluffy tail, and cat ears.
A perplexing characteristic of catgirls and catboys is that they have not one but two pairs of ears: one pair of ears come from each side of their head, and resembles a human's ears; while another pair of ears come from the top of their head, which resembles a cat's ears. This has vexed scientists around the world, who wonder what kind of mutation had to take place in the neko's evolution to bring this rather strange physical trait.
Behaviour[edit | edit source]
Nekos have the tendency to act rather playful and cute. More feisty or playful nekos will bite people. Nekos have a characteristical mating call, which often sounds like nyaaaaa~
Spread over the world[edit | edit source]
Originally, catgirls and catboys were found only in Japan; however, in recent years, they have been spreading to the rest of the world.
Relationship with humans[edit | edit source]
The neko species are always in danger by the stalking of local humans. However, these humans do not try to hunt or kill the neko; rather, they have hot, raw sex with them against the neko's will. This is as a result of a legal loophole: because they look like humans, it doesn't count as zoophilia; but because they're not humans, they do not have human rights, meaning that they can be freely fucked without their consent. On top of that, their cuteness factor and child-like wonder make them easy targets for perverted weaboos.
Several organizations, such as People for the Ethical Treatment of Antropomorphic Animals, have denounced this immoral practice; however, few people have taken action. The bite of a neko has similar effects to a werewolf bite in that it will turn the bitten into a neko over the course of 2 days, unusual since no other species on Earth can do this save for some subspecies of human like vampires or werewolves.
Known nekos[edit | edit source]
- Barack Obama - One time president of the US and golf champion of Zimbabwe, (or was it Hawaii?), Obama is a well known neko. He is self conscious of this fact and hides his cat ears whenever he is in public by using a bald cap with some black fuzz glued onto it. A hat is worn when the bald cap is at the dry cleaners or being reconstructed by a 5th grade art class.
- Justin Bieber - Yes, beliebe it or don't beleibe it, the beiber himself was a neko. How else did you think he appeared so attractive to practically everyone under the sun? Everyone loves catboys! His cat ears in the past were hidden under his oh-so-luscious locks of hair, but due to an accident in modern times involving a tattoo artist, a palm tree, and an inflatable dolphin, the cat ears were cut clean off of his head. This accounts for the strange hair patterns on his head when shaved.
- Megan Fox - A very famous and not so subtle neko, Megan has been a strong proponent of the neko life and has been an overachiever in the saving of their species via reproduction. Her cat ears had to be removed via CGI in every movie that she was in by order of the Screen Writers Against Nekos in Kulture (SWANK), a movement started in the 40s that treated nekos as a 2nd class society.
- <insert name here> - Oh, what, you're going to deny who you really are now? Going to try and tell me those cat ears "accidentally" got "super glued" to your head after that Halloween party...? Were you dressed up as OPTIMUS PRIME??
A fact to be aware of[edit | edit source]
See also[edit | edit source]
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