Chiyo-chichi
“Wa I wa Neko de aru! Uh Ai weesh Ai wur a burd!”
– Chiyo-chichi on Himself
Chiyo-chichi (千代 父) also commonly known as Chiyo's Dad or Father Cat, is a character from the popular animu, Azumangay Daioh. He is highly popular, although known to secretly destroy anyone he hates during offscreen times.
About[edit | edit source]
Not much is known about Chiyo-chichi, when he was born, who his parents were, are all shrouded in mystery. What we know is, he has a daughter named Chiyo, and he had sex with himself to produce her. We also know that when he is forced to remove someone to silence him, he cannibalizes them and then turns their bones into chalk.
Chiyo-chichi is known to have many hobbies, such as testicle licking and playing "qwake tu". He is also often seen around hot springs, "helping" young girls with their "cleaning" of their bodies (usually involving their "lower region")
Early years[edit | edit source]
Chiyo-chichi started out whoring himself to female kitties to build up funds while increasing the size of his Ca Twang. When he had achieved a large enough Twang, he moved on to selling crab cakes in Los Angeles, but was shunned for being yellow by the racists.
He tried to recoup his losses by joining a cheerleading squad, but would be sacked later on as he would often take peeks upward while he was doing the "people pyramid". After being fired, he tried to apply for a job as a taxi driver, but he could not grip onto the steering wheels due to many factors, such as his lack of fingers, and the smooth feel his palms have developed from touching the fresh young butts of teenage boys.
Later, he joined the Yomiuri Giants of the Japanese baseball league, throwing 5 perfect innings and becoming the only Japanese pitcher to hit a home run in his first at-bat. His career looked promising until the post-game conference, when the authorities realized he was not human and suspended him.
Chiyo-chichi's prime[edit | edit source]
Neko only began to be recognized by the masses when he struck a lead role in the animu Azumanga Daioh, where he would fondle female students, pretending to be a doctor under the cover of their classmate, Chiyo's dad. He would assist them in "cleaning" their "basements" and "mopping" them until they were squeaky.
A smarter student came on to his schemes, and he was forced to eat him, hence our not knowing his name up till now. As of then, Neko has put his molesting on hold, and instead focuses on sending girls to America and pretending to be a "bird".
Fall[edit | edit source]
Chiyo-chichi would later become too horny due to a lack of HIGH SCHOOL GIRLZ N STUF (especially a lack of Kaori), and often went to Whore Hut, the rival of Pizza Hut. He had too much "pie" and acquired many forms of aids, such as hearing aids.
His daughter Chiyo would then migrate to Amerika without him, leaving him and his nighttime English lessons obsolete. Chiyo-chichi tried to commit suicide, but his hands did not have fingers, and thus was unable to pick up a knife.
Chiyo-chichi slowly faded out due to the cancellation of Azumanga Daioh, and has never been seen or heard of ever since. Some say he became a bird, while others say he might have been over sixty years old.
The True Strength of Chiyo-chichi[edit | edit source]
It is rumored that Chiyo-chichi has a hidden level of strength, only truly unleashed when one of the following conditions are fulfilled -
- Chiyo-chichi is suspected of being a fake cat
- Chiyo-chichi is being fingered by a Fucking Motherfucker
- Chiyo-chichi is having sex with a pickle grinder
- Chiyo-chichi is stopped from molesting his targets
- Chiyo-chichi feels like molesting real men
When Chiyo-chichi unleashes his true power, none can stand in his way. He will go to any means necessary to ensure that his enemies' tongues are pulled out, and their genitals slashed and soaked in lemon juice. It is wise to commit Seppuku when Chiyo-chichi is in his enraged form, for the pain he will make you feel cannot be described by words.
