User talk:Under user/Archive 30

Your talkpage is strangely empty

Allow me to start filling it up again, sir. —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 08:08, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

Thank you Paizuri, that is an agreeably genteel start. --UU - natter 08:12, Jul 22

Would it be one or two sugar lumps with your tea sir? Would you like foot massage with that? ~ 12:24, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Always better to be Mhaille'd...

...than Olipro'd, I suppose. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:52, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!

UnNews hits warp factor Whore By Zim That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd By UU The most exclusive and coveted award on Uncyclopedia, the Mhaille award for excellence, has been presented for only the 14th time in 4 years, and the first time in first time in a year, to the suitably humbled RabbiTechno. The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer.

Check out these pages! Whoops! Andorin did it again Vote for less voting! What's a "Braydie"? From our logs: 06:03, 22 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.236.215.111 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbully - also apparently believes women to have penises and is thus either aged under six years or is a Lady Gaga fan. Either way, unsuitable for Uncyclopedia) 08:04, 19 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.167.1.63 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (returning blankist. Nice to see you again chap.) 06:06, 17 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.171.137.61 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I get my dubious software from Synaptic package manager, thank you.) 01:45, 17 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.32.64.51 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (yo article so fat) Old-school featured article of the week A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples. The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday. Cajek ban of the week brings you - Cajek's first ban! 15:06, 20 September 2007 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (When an admin archives a VFD, voting is closed.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 13:50, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Why!!!

What's a preview button? Why was I banned for editing my own userpage? Well, at least I can chat on talk pages; maybe it's a good way to get to know everyone! Oh wait I can edit for some reason; check my contributions. – Preceding unsigned comment added by NeuroticNinjaPirate666 (talk • contribs)

The ban was a short one, just to get your attention, it wasn't a serious one. The preview button is there next to the "save page" button. It allows you to see the effect your changes are having without saving every minute. You don't need to save that often. Some people keep an eye on recent changes to see what's going on, and all I could see was you saving every minute - you really, really don't need to do that. So I have seen your contributions. Lots of them. All to the same page, and all within minutes of each other. So yeah, use the preview button. You're in good company, mind you - Cajek was banned once for doing something similar. Don't let it stop you contributing, just let it stop you saving so often! Finally, questions need question marks, not three exclamation marks. Just a tip. --UU - natter 10:31, Jul 23

Good god, UU - you're becoming almost as pedantic as me in your old age! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:38, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Wrong. I have always been pedantic. You're just noticing. --UU - natter 10:40, Jul 23

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Might I be able to interest you in my latest commercial venture, UU? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:47, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Karen Gillan page

You seem to have deleted the page for Karen Gillan from Dr Who and I'm not sure why. Could you let me know? Ta. Cls14 10:40, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Yep. It had an {{expand}} tag on it. The expand tag has an expiry date of a month. If the article hasn't been improved in that month, it can be deleted. The article hadn't even been touched in that month, let alone improved, so I deleted it. If you want, I can restore a copy to your userspace for you to work on, just let me know. --UU - natter 12:48, Jul 26

Behind the Template

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I, like, appreciate your support, or something.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:02, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

---

Can I get some protection?

Now that you're having kids, I don't guess you need it any more... BAHAHAH. Unfunny jokes are the funniest. No, but seriously. I was wondering if you would extend your automatic ban for using the r-word over to my page as well. Let me try and get under the UU umbrella, if you would. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 00:50, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Happy to oblige. Let me know when to swing the hammer. --UU - natter 08:04, Jul 28

Gracias. I'll put a little reminder on my page then. And now to something a little more awesome: this. I like it. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:56, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Like it. I'll return the favour by directing you to this, which I really like. Some of 'em may be a tad "British" for you, but some of 'em are just clever, I think. --UU - natter 11:05, Jul 29

That is quite good. I always appreciate clever jokes like that. Makes me laugh/feel stupid for not thinking of it first. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:44, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Could you do it for me, too? I'll probably only ask if someone tries to use it after an archive- because 1. That's so stupid and unoriginal and 2. It's really, really irritating. But I noticed that people tend not to read the rules I put at the top of my talk page, so maybe a ban would convince them.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 06:28, July 28 2010 UTC

Go on then - although I'm not sure "it's unoriginal" is the very best reason to use, but I do think it's reasonable to expect people to respect someone's wishes on their talk page, so that would be my reason. Let me know if I'm needed. --UU - natter 11:05, Jul 29

Another soldier in the fight against unoriginal jokes and bad manners, stiff upper lip and all that sort of thing eh what. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 11:36, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

These thanks templates will get shorter soon, I promise

Funny: Uncyclopedia Kitten Huffing. Just ... Kitten Huffing. '... so please, do not huff too hard.' Everything Savethemooses has done, really. ... with SAVINGS!!! Wait, what?

(1473 entries were redacted for space reasons—ed.)

'He should write a song about what he had done!' Just how he describes the aftermath ... genius. Their page on TV Tropes, anyone? You're kidding, right? Your Mileage May Vary, I guess. I thought for sure that was a Wall Banger.

TV Tropes is a feature! So I guess, even though I disowned it, I should thank you for your vote on VFH. Thanks! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:08 29 Jul 2010]

HOW DARE YOU!

Seeing dick jokes that I had missed. I am displeased, sir. Very, VERY displeased. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 08:56, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

That ban for emc

You said it was for a vote reason on VFH. Was it on the Chiefjustice Unbook thing? Because he's taking a line from the article itself... Not something one could have his vote struck out for or be banned for. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:08, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, in that case, I'll have another look. Mind you, it does seem that it looks a mite mean-spirited if more than one person has missed that point. --UU - natter 09:32, Jul 30

Yeah, but I think you guys (admins in general) should be a bit more careful with their ban buttons on people... Especially when that well-established user could be getting perma-banned soon for his behaviour on IRC and elsewhere. It just wouldn't make sense for him to purposefully do something that could make things worse for himself, does it? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:46, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

I can't see why anyone would get perma-banned. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Which was why I made the comment I did. I'm very careful with my ban button. Surely you can see why I did what I did? And how easy it was to miss EMC's point? Perhaps, in the current climate, repeating the same joke that was missed a first time might have been less than a great idea? (Even with the link). If I ban, it's for what I consider a very good reason, and if someone comes along and explains I may be wrong, as in this case, I'm always happy to reconsider and admit it if I fucked up. That's what experienced users and the community is for - people always miss something, nobody is perfect etc etc. But yeah, I'm careful, me. I can't speak for anyone else. --UU - natter 10:01, Jul 30

That said, are there any other times you think I haven't been careful enough with my bans, Dex? Because I'm always happy to discuss stuff, and either explain my reasons or change my mind if you have a point. --UU - natter 10:13, Jul 30

Yeah, you banned little Timmy. He cried and shot himself in the left pinky toe with a water gun. Why'd you do that to him you asshole?! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:22, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

Little Timmy had got stuck down the well for the ninth time that week, necessitating Lassie to come and warn me again. Now, when falling down the same well, once is a mistake, twice is just about forgivable, three times is being a stupid little sonofabitch. And nine is nothing more than cruelty to Lassie. Why, having to squeeze through the seven barbed wire fences around my house every time is not good for a dog. The blood loss was quite severe. So little Timmy needs to learn a short, sharp lesson. Damn his animal-hating eyes. --UU - natter 14:29, Jul 30

Under User now makes mistakes?! Fuck VFS, I'm demanding a de-op! --Matfen 17:20, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

Lol. Under user as a normal contributor. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:26, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

I like to build up the suspense

It makes the climax much more enjoyable. --EMC ^[TALK] 14:29 Jul 31 2010

Needs Johnny Raven.....and actually so many, many people.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Uncyclopedia:VFP/Line

I see you voted against the image because of the who's/whose typo. I figured I'd let you know that someone uploaded a new version that fixes the mistake. Since it's one of the few images currently on VFP that's worth its weight in storage space, I respectfully suggest that you give it another look. --Andorin Kato 07:50, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

You sexy motherf....

) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Just giving the public what they want... --UU - natter 09:37, Aug 2

QVFD

What should I do with regards to dates with no UnNews ("18 march 2009")? Saberwolf116 14:45, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

If in doubt, leave it out. As I say, QVFD is only for the obvious ones, if you're not sure, leave alone or, if you feel you must, VFD 'em. --UU - natter 14:51, Aug 3

A friendly ban

Deserves a friendly hallo, my fellow Englander. Hello. How is everything!? - [16:04 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

My sentiment exactly, except I'm not English, nor has anyone cared to ban me in my absence :(    Orian57    Talk   23:42 3 August 2010

I was only banned because I made an edit yesterday or something. Besides you've got all those beautiful features to love you. What do i have? Aside a pile of usergroups and associated leaflets that we never used? - [23:48 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

Want to ease your way back? How about writing something for the signpost about how the place feels after a loooooong break? Could be a fun angle to come from, particularly if you just plunge in and don't try and find out everything that's gone on before you do! --UU - natter 08:14, Aug 4

Is that still running? And i'mw orried about joking about all this drama that seems to have happened. Something to do with VFS? Are people still er...sensitive about that? - [10:16 4 August 2010] PlebYettie

Yeah, I'm trying to avoid that - I missed last week's issue specifically to avoid writing about any of it. We don't need to stir up any more feeling right now, so I'm looking for something a little silly but fun. If you don't want to, no worries, I'll write something, it just sounded like something that could be funny. And yes, it is still going. For all that people care! ;-) --UU - natter 10:24, Aug 4

I'm impressed you've kept that up! I would love to do it...but I'm not sure I really have enough to write to fill an article. I'll give it a go. But honestly, apart from what I did yesterday I haven't written humour since I left uncyc. I'm feeling a bit rusty. - [10:32 4 August 2010] PlebYettie

How about this: just try and hammer together 2 - 3 paragraphs, that's all it really needs. Drop it in the press room, and if I like it, I use it. If not, no biggie, it may still help to clear those writing cobwebs. Like the title on that article, BTW. Haven't looked at it yet. That's not whoring, is it? Didn't think so! ;-) --UU - natter 10:38, Aug 4

Not whoring, no sir, just emphasising a point. Promise, sir. As for UnSignpost. I'm sure I can manage a few paragraphs. i shouldn't really be on uncyc at the moment, but I might be able to do it this evening? is it solely you running unsignpost now? - [11:19 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Have been for about the last year or so... Gerry buggered off as well. No problem with this evening - if you can't do it, I'll rattle something off tomorrow morning. But if you can, I shall be most grateful. And I should never be on this website. But I still seem to end up here. Ah well. --UU - natter 11:24, Aug 4

Indeed. I am off to have some food. And such like now. And, UU, if Orian is too lazy or just can't, for whatever reason, do you think you'd have a spare moment to help me with that? I understand you're busy and such like, so it's okay if you can't. I'm not entirely sure who the pee reviewers are at the moment. Don't recognise many names. It seems many of my generation have sorta faded and died. But yes, anyway, I asked Orian if he could do it, but you know how unreliable he is.. - [11:30 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

I am neither lazy nor a slut. I would be a slut, if there were the call for it but there's no way I'm [too lazy to type teh rest of this sentence]    Orian57    Talk   12:03 4 August 2010

I'm sure you're not lazy, I just felt like insulting you in your absence. You know, for old time's sake? - [12:52 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Yettie, I don't actually have the time to do many reviews these days - most of the time I used to use for that is taken up by my daughter now (lame excuse, I know). I've done about 6 this year. I can't promise to do a review for you, but what I can say is if I do get the time, and Orian hasn't done it, I will. But that's quite vague, because christ knows when I'll get that time! --UU - natter 13:14, Aug 4

I didn't expect you'd have the time to do it. I would not exactly class a daughter in the category of lame excuses (clearly you've never received a reply to a message that someone's "typing fingers are broken"). But what I would appreciate is if you get a chance to just quickly skim read it and give me any initial opinions? Whatever you have time for, just an informal thing. - [13:30 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Oh I just remembered your strict talkpage rules oh whoring. Flouting the rules! Yay. - [13:31 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Uh, my typing fingers are covered in lube, so you know, they're slippy. Not ideal reviewing conditions I'm sure you'll agree.    Orian57    Talk   16:17 4 August 2010

I think slippy fingers could be a benefit to your writing, may actually get you to write, you know, what do they call it - good stuff. - [16:30 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Oh the bitch is back.    Orian57    Talk   16:41 4 August 2010

You are? :) Hey, hey, hey, I've got a nice new annoying toy to play with! Yay. I think that's actually quite a good idea. Also, Orian, I've decided that I am gonna try and create like some unofficial guides on anything I feel that isn't covered officially. I probably won't be bothered. I just needed to fill space. Anywho, Orian how come you're so ugly? - [17:58 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Sorry, real life calls this evening. I won't get a chance to write anything for unsignpost. Sorry! You do know that UnSignpost acronymised is USP as in unique selling point? - [22:14 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

PEe Review

Oh, I'm so sorry, i completely forgot about it, if you look at my talk page i was/am hosting a composition and i forgot i even wrote that. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:45, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Don't apologise, just do the review. Before it becomes more than just a friendly warning - get my drift? --UU - natter 09:21, Aug 4

...didn't I...wait...ugh, i wrote something, my computer just likes being stupid from time to time...I really g2g right now however. I'll try to get it done. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 13:15, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Another voting question

So I noticed that on the old nomination for the anal sex article, you voted Against per zim and Hyperbole. Well, the article's been through Pee Review (42/50 from Chief) and has been improved/expanded/touched up a bit, per his suggestions and those of others. Both zim and Hype have seen the improved article and given their support for it, so I was wondering, seeing as how you voted per both of them, whether the improvements managed to address your concerns with the article as well. If that isn't the case, do you have any suggestions for improvements to the page that would make it acceptable? --Andorin Kato 20:34, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure glad this appeared here before the VFH vote was put up, otherwise this would have been talk page whoring, and I would have been forced to frown upon it. I'll have another look at it in good time - I can't do so from work, because, call me crazy, but I'm not certain my boss would be colossally impressed if he saw that first pic on my screen if he happened to pass by... --~~

Why halloa there

So after your suggestions, I was looking through the queue again and saw a request to review Mathematical theory of hunting. The problem? It's not original at all. It's like one of those geeky jokes that spread viral throughout the Internet before YouTube existed, like operating systems as airlines or whatnot. But I dye grass—what's the policy on these? Are these outright deleted? Does the review request stay? etc. Sir MacMania GUN—[13:33 5 Aug 2010]

That looks NRV to me. Ho hum. - [13:37 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Allow me to answer your question with a review deletion, a page move to userspace, and a message on the "author"'s talk page. Thanks for pointing that out! --UU - natter 13:56, Aug 5

Not a problem. So, off now to see if I can get a review done... Sir MacMania GUN—[13:59 5 Aug 2010]

Congratulations!

You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of August 2010. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

For anyone out hiding in the undergrowth of Uncyclopedialand your activities are more than obvious, and sometimes damn right sexy. Until you get dragged away by the authorities I would like to offer my own little award in appreciation. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

You're kidding? /me snatches award quickly before Mhaille changes his mind, pushes all other trophies off shelf, places award in the middle, and sits down with knees pulled under chin to stare at it. --UU - natter 15:18, Aug 5

It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together

VFD minimum time limit introduced By UU Yes, folks, it's actual news this week. We know, next week will see normal service resumed. However: following a forum discussion on the dump that impressively managed to avoid any real drama, it has been decided that, to avoid any articles being deleted without a proper window for debate, all nominations on VFD will remain open for a minimum of one day. Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start By UU Those with a passing interest in sports might notice that Uncyc's never-popular Fantasy Football league is about to embark on its second season, and has begun the draft process necessary to create the teams that will be taking part. So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season.

Check out these pages! You're new, aren't you? I have this way of telling Fighting the good fight: a beginner's guide Someone returns, creates forum From our logs: 07:55, 3 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ethine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (I'm seeing the words "Added category!" when I sleep now) 14:44, 29 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.74.132.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I'm sure Emma is a really nice girl when you get to know her. Ask her out for some coffee or something. And when you guys fuck, don't post about that here either.) 00:14, 28 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.9.0.0/16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (I got bored, so I decided to block 2/3 of Norway. Bug an admin in IRC and they'll unblock you, maybe.) Biopic of the Week Some user was just some user who created Uncycloversity, Unquotable, and had the world's greatest departure message from Uncyclopedia. Despite only having been at Uncyclopedia long enough for everyone to cry when he left, Some user brought a plethora of knowledge to Uncyclopedia. He taught us all how to find our inner sockpuppet and be humble, the former of which has duped countless users into earning lengthy bans and the latter of which was laughed at out of confusion and then soon forgotten. He also taught us all about the laws that protect one's anonymity on the internet, reminding us that the internet is a safe, anonymous world. Fact: every time a person uses a proxy, God makes a rainbow. Sexy 'Crat of the Week Mhaille is quite possibly the reason why all sysops on Uncyclopedia are assumed to be sexy. Going by his South Park likeness here (have you added yours?), his excitingly furrowed brow speaks of smouldering hidden depths, his trim goatee teamed with his unkempt hair hints at the animal nature he so barely keeps in check, his narrowed eyes show he's always ready for action... Face it folks: the man drips sex. Being banned by him is actually illegal in twelve American states as being too erotic.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:45, 5 August 2010

The misus and jr. are off on holiday

I didn't change diapers nor warmed a bottle for 24 hours now. I think I'm getting the shakes. Do you need a bottle sir? ~ 10:44, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh man. Mrs UU is talking about taking her parents away for 2 days without me in a little while, and I'm struggling to come to terms with the idea of 2 days without UUette - a fortnight would have me in convulsions. You really don't realise how much you'll miss them until they enter your life, do you? I really don't know how I could start the day without the huge smile I get when I go to pick her up for the first time each morning. Be strong, big guy - he'll be back before you know it, and he'll be sure to bring you extra poop! --UU - natter 10:53, Aug 9

VFH

Noticed you posted on Gumphog's talk page, and I was going to leave this be. But now he's VFH'ed a page (its -3.5 now) that includes a last graph you may have an interest in. The other page that he wrote, cough, ahem, chewing my cud, I followed up on the one you found, saw it had a discussion page, tracked that back to a blog of the guy who wrote it, and if it is to be believed and I did it right it ain't our guy. I talked to him on his talk page after you, yet his new VFH nom, written in the same manner as his other pages (all in one edit, shiny new and complete), well, just check out the final graph of Anti-Emo Pill. Aleister 23:35 9 8

p.s. The page, upon another close reading, looks like something run through an english translator into Chinese and back again. The second to last graph seems to include the German translation and then the english version. Something fishy in the state of Denmark here, and I'm bringing all of this up because I gave him a wide-open chance to fess up and start anew in my comments on his talk page after yours. I thought his name change marked a new start. Unless I'm totally wrong and he's a child genius from age 11 on who passes himself off as a 23 year old blogger and writer on another site. Sigh. Some can't be saved, and those you have to toss back sometimes.

Uh... Graph? I'm seeing no graph? I'm not seeing much to go on there, TBH. --UU - natter 08:14, Aug 10

Perhaps AiC means paragraphs... Sir MacMania GUN—[12:35 10 Aug 2010]

Then where's the apostrophe indicating abbreviation? A 'graph is different from a graph... Besides, I'm still seeing little to go on there. You can have your suspicions, but I'm not seeing anything clear-cut to convict on, y'know? --UU - natter 12:41, Aug 10

Er, babelsporked from Stupidedia? [1] Google Translate and BabelFish seem to yield something very close. As far as I know, without attribution either. Sir MacMania GUN—[12:56 10 Aug 2010]

Now why couldn't he say that in the first place? I'm far too stupid lazy to do so much research myself! A strong word shall be had. --UU - natter 13:17, Aug 10

Research? Bah! Only uni students and postgraduates need research. Well, they and anyone who might rely on medical and technological advances for everyday living. But mostly postgraduates! Sir MacMania GUN—[13:21 10 Aug 2010]

cinzano bianco

I have been known to yell that out at serious pub matches. Really screws with your opponents mind. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 12:30, Aug 10 2010 UTC

Stumbled upon this

And I believe this is yet another proof of how silly you brits are:

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

``Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

I was definitely born in the wrong place. ~ 20:37, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

Haha. Made me chuckle. —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:10 10 August 2010]

I like it. I can't believe it, but I like it. --UU - natter 21:14, Aug 10

I find that wearing my sword can really become a bitch, especially in the car, because they tend not to be collapsible and get in the way. —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:16 10 August 2010]

Banning

Well congrats, you've done it. You just made yourself admin of the year! You successfully banned someone for not doing something, even though they did.

Nice job there. I thought you were all nice, and that you tried to set uncyclopedia in order. But no, you rather just throw around bans because you have "the power".

One thing i find weird is that uncyclopedia is a place where people are supposed to fool around and mock things. It's not a serious thing. It's not something, that even if you are given power to, that you should waste your life on. Sure, if I was admin, id be on more, i would take it a bit more seriously, but i wouldn't act like I'm some sort of military commander, i mean my country isn't going to be destroyed if someone forgets to sign there post or if someone doesn't.

But there you are, banning, which i understand. But really, I'm not a troll running around ruining pages. I'm not a guy that flames everyone in sight, hell, I'm nice to everyone, and even though i may not be the fondest of some people, i try and get along.

But then you ban me for not apologizing. O.K, a few things wrong with that. First of all, it's not a big problem. I didn't do something that's going to piss people off, and more importantly, i did not do it INTENTIONALLY. If i perposly went around saying i would pee on articles and didn't i would completely understand, but i didn't and it was my first time.

Second, and here's what really ticks me off...I DID.

You banned me for not saying I'm sorry, but if you read my talk page i made it quite clear that i was sorry...3 days before the ban. Sure it may have not be on the pee review page but good lord, cmon it's not worth a ban for that.

Seriously, some bans can take seconds, like from trolls, but when a guy like me, a active user that gets along with anyone, could you at least double-check to make sure that, hey maybe he did say sorry, maybe on one of the two users talk page.

I know i may be going against my "don't take it so seriously" by having a hissy fit at you but now i got a ban on my record, and i don't like that.

Bottom line, (stealing from spiderman here) "great power comes with great responsibility". In this case, "Greater Power than others, comes with a little more responsibility". And don't make this site your life, get out, enjoy the great wonders of life. I don't know how much you are on, but when you talk and act the way you did with me it seems that you are taking a parody site too seriously. I can tell your a nice guy, just please, be more careful with your "power".

And is there any way to take this mistake off any sort of records there may be? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 23:22, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

If I may give you some advice before UU sees this- don't tell admins what to do. He did say he was going to ban you the next time you promised a review and didn't do it. Just saying. (Also, he's new. Please be gentle, lest you destroy his innocent soul) Seriously though, let's just calm down while we wait for him to come on- don't get too wound up about this.--HM (T) 00:16, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Helpme to be honest this is the first time you've commented on something about me that it seams that you don't hate me. Usually what you have to say is right, but in this case i don't think you understand what happened.

I said i would pee on an article, i never got to it. So UU told me to do it anyways. I never got to, so then he said to at least apologize, if not just apologize and do it. So i did and told the person i was not going to be available for a few days. When i get back i found out i was banned, and that it was because I never apologized...but i clearly did.

And Ive had enough with the "respect the admin stuff". I do, but there not gods. It's a website, again I'm not gonna pray to them, of course i wont flame them, but if i want to tell them what's on my mind i will, and i hope you and everyone else understands that. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 01:38, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

1. I don't try to be particularly tough on you; I just tend to be very blunt when it comes to giving people advice. I don't hate anybody here. It's a humor Wiki- it's certainly not worth the emotion it takes to hate someone. 2. You apologized on your talk page rather than his, which he might not have seen. I'm not saying this was your fault- you probably didn't think he wouldn't look at your talk page again. 3. You don't have to kiss their ass- I'm just saying that it tends to wind up people when you tell them what to do, and this applies to people who have more power than you especially. It's not unique to the Wiki. It's human nature. (UU tends to be a more "chill" admin than most, but still) UU has been a member for a long time- he knows what the Wiki is about. My point was that you shouldn't tell people who know what they're doing how to do what they do.--HM (T) 01:49, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Happymonkey I got quite a long ban way back that I was not too happy about. My opinion is this: Just forget it, mutter some things about the admin (that may or may not be deserved) under your breath and then decide that either 1. no one's gonna stop you from editing your beloved wiki or 2. you can't work and edit with ppl making such unfair decisions (in your opinion). I personally think that sometimes admins make the wrong decisions, of course, because they're not infallible and obviously they have a lot of crap to do and to put up with. And they're not even paid! And when you feel you're in the right (I've been there) it can be really fucking annoying. It's nice to rant at people, but it probably won't actually help. What I think is best, is take your ban and go and show it to anyone who'll listen, to prove how bad you are (that's what I do, works a treat for picking up girls...if you know what I mean, *nudge nudge wink wink* - do the kids still say "picking up girls"?). I really don't want to sound a preachy, holier-than-thou idiot (I spelt 'holier' with a 'wh' first time round, just then). I'm not, I'm a fairly crappy Uncyclopedian who manages to pass for an experienced and useful editor. And now I forget what the point was that I was making. Are you English? Why not declare some sort of nuclear war on us over here in the UK, strictly for revenge? And then write a hilarious article about it! —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [02:05 11 August 2010]

Sorry to burst in like that. I really have nothing to do with this. But if anyone one's looking for a new window, I'm your man. —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [02:06 11 August 2010]

No apology needed. It feels good to know I'm not alone Mysterious Hat Man (that's you). And I'm from Canada...thus explaining the red and white sig...why doesn't anyone ever notice that! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 02:38, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

My response: You apologised on your talk page? Where is the good in that? The guy who you promised the review to, the person affected, isn't likely to see that. All they know is that you promised to review their article, and haven't done it. That is, as I said quite clearly, rude. I don't like people being rude. So if you apologise, do so on the review page, this serves two purposes - one, the person you made the promise to sees it, and two, other people see you are no longer intending to review it, and might pick up the review instead. If people see someone else intends to do a review, they tend to leave it for them - so not only are you not doing a review, but you're stopping someone else doing it. That's doubly bad. That's why there's a warning in red on the pee review page. And then I left you a warning on your talk page. A couple of warnings - one friendly, one not so friendly. You had ample time and opportunity to avoid your ban, and you didn't. So you can have no complaints. None.

Next: yes, we are here to have fun and mock stuff and all that, but there has to be a certain amount of common courtesy, which is one of the things admins are here to help with. There is a reason for that red message on the pee page - people want reviews, that's why they request them. If they don't get reviews, they get annoyed. If someone promises to do a review and doesn't do it, that's even more annoying. I've seen new users leave because they didn't get a review and they thought they were being ignored. That's why I instigated the rule, and why I patrol the pee queue regularly. We're serious about some things because some things matter. And if admins don't put some effort, attention and care into this place, people complain. So don't complain when I do. Got it? Now go do the fucking review. --UU - natter 08:07, Aug 11

Oh, and as for "don't make this site your life, get out, enjoy the great wonders of life" - I have a wife, a daughter, and a thriving social life. I have enjoyed plenty of wonders, believe me. But thanks for the concern. --UU - natter 08:16, Aug 11

He's also the most handsome admin on Uncyclopedia. I should know, I've lost the beauty contest to him. ~ 08:28, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

You were definitely a close second, Mordillo. Personally I just think that on the night UU had had one less beer and a more flattering bikini...Oh well, next time, eh? —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:06 11 August 2010]

Further thing. On another look, I suspect you are getting confused about which review I was referring to. You apologised for not getting around to this one, but this is the one I was referring to. So, just to recap, that's twice you promised to do reviews and didn't follow up on your promise. Please understand that I tried quite hard not to ban you. I gave you warnings and everything. Keep track of your promises, and try to fulfil them, OK? --UU - natter 13:26, Aug 11

Hold on...after all of that you still haven't seen my apology. Let me make it clear for you. Click here. God lord man i write like 6 paragraphs and you still don't get it?...in the end i apologized for both. And if you look closely at the first one, i never actually said i would do it. I said I would make an attempt but if anyone else wants to to go ahead...never in there were the words i promise...and i was serious about the songs thing, i actually can't do that one, i really do think i have ADD. That's why a wrote an article on it. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:18, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Well I didn't see the other paragraph before I wrote the one above. And I completely understand why we have to apologize on the page. But there are a few problems.

1. You said apologize and get it done. If you read my apology I said I'm sorry and that I have to leave for a few days and I will try to get it done when i get back...which was two days ago...and I got banned twice.

2. It's not worth a ban in my opinion. Again I understand why you apologize on the page but he happened to talk to me so I apologized there, there's no point of doing it twice. Banning shouldn't be for little reasons like that. Now I'm amused that when you did ban me that you didn't notice the apology, but again, you should check these things.

3. There is also an really big coincidence that i must tell you about. Sonic (the dude with the pee review article) contacted me before the day i left. I told him that fact, and that ill try to get around to it. If it weren't for him contacting me on my page, i would have said it on his review page. And if you look at my history, it was one of the last things i did that day. Because i had to get ready to go, i was only on a bit longer, and never got to go to his pee review page and say that i couldn't do it, but he was aware that i couldn't so if he really wanted it reviewed he could have just did something about it himself.

4. I can't stop writing lower case i's when they're supposed to be capitalized. What the hell is wrong with me?

But can you not see why im upset? DO you not think that the ban may have been a mistake. I am one stubborn teen, and I'm aware of it. I stand my ground until my point is proven.

Oh and i honestly didn't know the age span of this site...and I didn't mean to offend you about the "life" stuff, but most of the admins on this site, i picture them fat eating potato chips in their mothers basement. But I never pictured someone married with a kid on this site...weirds, but i respect it. The one thing i have to say is take advantage of sex man...you know what it's like to be a teen...ugh...why can't i have a girl :P.......that last line was a joke, but seriously sex is good, especially for you stress level! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:40, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ah - I didn't see that bit on your talk page, and you can see how I could have missed it, I hope. I did check Sonic's talk page, the article's talk page, and other places quite carefully. In that case, I'm happy to admit it was an overbanning. I would still have banned you for an hour or two for taking so long to not do a review, and also for not re-opening the review to others (seriously, it takes a few seconds to go to the page and put something like "not going to get this yet - anyone can take it", a little like what Chief did following your ban.

Listen, I've been on this wiki for years. I'm generally good natured and easy-going, (and happy to admit when I make a mistake). But I get annoyed when I see what I perceive to be rudeness or inconsiderate behaviour. That harms the community, and I try to take steps to avoid it. You're not the first person I've banned over this issue, and you won't be the last. Most people hold their hands up, say "sorry, I was meaning to get to that", and go review the article. So perhaps you need to chill out a little too, huh?

I take the actions I take because, in my experience on this site, they are actions that support the community. I never try to abuse my "power", and if anyone thinks I am doing so, they can talk about it openly with me. I would hate to be thought of as unfair. So: sorry for your overbanning. Now how about you go do the review for Sonic, and we'll forget it all happened? --UU - natter 15:12, Aug 11

/me going to yell at mom for not keeping my potato chips bag full. ~ 15:26, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

How did i know you were going to say that mordillo?

Anyways that's all i wanted, the irony of an apology. And yes i do understand how you could have missed it, but (this makes me feel like an admin) don't do it again...hehe, that felt good...say what does it take to become an admin...i know it probably wont come to me soon, if at all, actually i don't think i will be one, but i want to. It's got to be fun to ban idiots. But if you knew i was not around you would have still banned me?..eh, whatever, i don't really care about an hour, but TKF scared the hell out of me with the one year ban. You know i figured you would say something along the lines of abusing your power and unfairness, because truth is i may have overreacted, but again, can you blame me.

Anyways I'm just curious, if your married with a kid, how old are you, and how do you have the spare time to run this site? If you think it's too personal of a question you don't have yo answer, but it's something good to know. Yah know, adults still having that teen sense of humor, and how we all can really get along no matter what age.

Oh, and ill try and get that review done now, although necessarily i can take as long as i want after what Chief wrote.......ok I'll do it.....--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:24, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Enough with the banning please...that last one was pointless... oooh I get it now, but still cut it out thank you. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:39, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Temptation much? Let me show you something: this and maybe even this. There is never enough banning. NEVER! MWAHAHAHAHA! Ahem. --UU - natter 15:09, Aug 12

When a innocent user begins to grow tired of pointless banning, that's the sign that there is too much banning. -_-"--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 20:45, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

And when a slightly supercilous-sounding user doesn't take a few jokes in the spirit they were intended, that's a sign that maybe the rod is a little too far up their ass. You were the one to talk about not taking things too seriously - joke bans are two a penny around here. Go ask Orian. I'm just messing. Here's an idea - we're both winding each other up over nothing, why don't you step off my talk page for a while, we can both chill, and then next time we meet, we can be friendly and shit. Yeah? See you around. --UU - natter 20:52, Aug 12

ugh i love irony...my previous comment was a joke to your joke to the joke ban...-_-"--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 20:55, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

See the second half of my previous comment - I think your sense of humour and mine are not working with each other right now. Let's take a few days to chill out, hmm? --UU - natter 21:08, Aug 12

..why? I'm not pissed :P...are you? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 21:13, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

When I use allcaps in an edit summary and say LEAVE IT THERE, I actually mean it. My daughter is teething, which means I'm getting little sleep, and I'm fraught, and my temper can be measured in millimetres. I want to like you, and if you go away, and we kinda don't have any more encounters until monday, that'll make it a lot easier for that to happen, OK? Do not reply to this, just go have fun elsewhere, and we'll all be friends forever. Probably. --UU - natter 21:22, Aug 12

Slade

After decoding your archives I caught a typo.

It's Cum on feel the noize not come on feel the noize.

Just wanted to point it out for you in case I get banned again... --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 02:49, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Good point, well made. I shall respond by pointing out that the perpendicular pronoun is capitalised, as in "I", not "i". I have corrected this for you. You are welcome. --UU - natter 08:19, Aug 11

Leave my bad grammar out of your non-song-title-knowingness. <---and yes that's a word in my books. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:20, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Moving to more light-heartedness, here's a letter from Filmmakers for Lens Flare

Thanks for supporting Lens flare! Sir MacMania GUN—[19:56 11 Aug 2010]

And right back at you wiEXTERMINATE!

Thanks for voting for Dalek! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:13 11 Aug 2010]

There's footballs afoot!

On to the draft for two straight picks! (Two straight picks?!) Yes, two straight picks! -RAHB 01:30, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

And where do you think you're going young man?

I don't remember signing on your vacation form 224/Z and 445/Y? ~ 21:03, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Taking the nipper to meet my sister. Shall be driving for much of the next few days, which would make internet access perilous, to say the least. So tatty byes, see you next week! --UU - natter 21:08, Aug 12

Have a good one! Drive safe. ~ 21:10, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Uhhhhh, are you, like, English? Isn't that that place where, like, everything sucks? --Butt-head 21:24, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks again for further spellchecking and improving my articles

Have another of my personal ninja stars,

Celtic Ninja Star This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

Thanks again ya anal bastard:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:39, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Wasn't Wumbo

I mean; didn't Wumbo already survive VFD? I ask because I remember a conversation about how it was the top Google link for Wumbo (it's not anymore) and so I added it to my list of articles I watched for vandalism. It got lots of edits from IP's, but few vandalism's, & I think a lot of people liked it the harmless little thing. (It just goes to show you what happenes if you don't check the VFD for a few days.) Can we get it back???  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  14 Aug 2010 ~ 01:27 (UTC)

Formatting Help

I was wondering how you remove the contents bar from an article. Can you tell me? --Some Idiot 07:05, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

beep! beep! (drive-by) add this:  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  14 Aug 2010 ~ 08:00 (UTC)

“ __NOTOC__ ”

Indeed. Anywhere in an article Similarly you can put __TOC__ to control where the contents table to goes. —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:33 14 August 2010]

Should we be worried?

About the length of this? I would do a few reviews myself but I'm busy (blah blah normal excuses etc.). But I did do my first in a long time, today. Anywho. Is the list not getting a bit long? Or is everything under control? —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:40 14 August 2010]

Everything is under control, we sometimes have a lot of reviewers and other times not so many. Writers are generally encouraged to do a review when they submit to the queue and we get a couple done each day. If things get particularly bad we will go on a more general campaign for reviewers. But to be honest, I've seen the list look worse that it has right now, I don't think we need to worry just yet. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 21:54, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

Okay. Cool. —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:56 14 August 2010]

Yettie, I'm surprised. Don't you remember the "Pee List of 93"? This is a Cake walk. Speaking of which I'm currently writing something! For this website!    Orian57    Talk   22:17 14 August 2010

Am I seeing things or is that you, Orian? I am sure I must be seeing things, because I was over here and saw your name. And a ridiculous number of features! I think I must be a little ill... —BULLSHIT WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:25 14 August 2010]

Off To The Field, Eh?

Something something FOOTBALL!!! -RAHB 04:21, August 16, 2010 (UTC)