User talk:Mimo&maxus/Archive2

Whaaa?

I have an archive.Yay!

Thanks M&m

I saw you voted for my UnNews article for featured. For some reason yours and Sid's votes only updated the For count, but your actual votes didn't register. Mind going back and voting again? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:36, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

You mean my vote wasn't saved? Anyway I voted again. --~   08:39, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

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Jan 13th, 2011 • Issue 103 • Leave to stand for 5 minutes before consuming

Voting Frenzy By Chief It's that month again, the famous voting month when Uncyclopedians gather to air their opinions on the year that has been, user contributions or lack thereof and lots of other things. The difference between this and the continuous monthly evaluation normally going on is that now we have Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year, RadicalX of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year to accompany our small selection of monthly awards/voting pages: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Of course it is the duty of every Uncyclopedian worth his/her salt to vote and have an opinion on each and every one of the above. Having no opinion is not an option; we can't afford such luxuries, not when the very fabric of our society hangs by a thread made entirely of voting pages. The UnSignpost has spoken to experts in voting patterns and strategies and they have instructed us to encourage each and every one of you to vote for whichever candidate you wouldn't like to not unwin again! It's that simple! A quick round up on our yearly awards: over on WotY Mhaille, Sog1970 and Aleister in Chains are slugging it out blow by blow for pole position. On UotY, some Spunk bubble has stormed ahead with Lyrithya in second place and all the other deserving candidates scrapping on the floor for... er scraps. On PotY Zombiebaron has taken a convincing lead. Since we failed to ask him to comment he might have said: "Braaaains, I shall consume all brains," which leads this reporter to comment that Zombiebaron may well be on the wrong website. The best articles of 2010 voting opens on the 15th of this month and will give the hardcore voters among you a chance to get stuck in again, but this time into people's articles rather than the people themselves. Regrettable, we know, but you can always nominate them for something next month. As the voting frenzy continues, the UnSignpost will continue to watch from a safe distance and will be on hand to comfort all the winners when they realise the best years of their lives have been spent essentially bailing out the Titanic with a small mug. The very worst of luck to everyone, and indeed everything, competing. Uncyclopedia is 6! By Chief It's true, it is. Six years of crawling around the back streets of the internet begging to anyone for cash/servers/food, regardless of how useful they may or may not be. That's right, everyone, you are aboard the good ship Uncyclopedia, the only wiki that has sails and a rudder and that's a fact. The UnSignpost won't be doing anything like making up poems or getting emotional and tender about Uncyclopedia growing a year older, since some people have already shown off what big girls they are by doing just that. A quick review of said poetry: Olipro thinks it's cool and manly to swear (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), Mimo&maxus thinks it's cool to be like Olipro (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), and neither of them are very good at poetry (this is true and their poetry sucks because of it). Happy birthday Uncyclopedia! At least we here at the UnSignpost did the manly thing of putting on a pink apron and baking you a cake.

Check out these pages! PLS Q&A Stuff you could be doing! Another voting page! How does it happen? From our logs: 21:30, January 10, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.210.176.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (OMG! THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITH A DYNAMIC IP! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!) 02:50, January 10, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Posting a comment on a locked forum topic. You monster!) 16:23, January 7, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked FuuuD: (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nobody cares about you, your school chums and/or their love of anal (except Olipro, he's probably taking notes)) 00:23, January 12, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.112.44.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Lovely, perhaps next time you are on the wiki we could have crumpets and discuss your crippling stupidity) 03:40, January 7, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.130.126.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is probably the sort of thing you'll find funny: YOU'RE REALLY SMART... (pause) NOT!!!!) Biopic of the Week Instead of trying to give you clues, this week the UnSignpost is just going to come straight out and tell you whom we are using for the biopic. We won't mention that he was adopted by ChiefjusticeDS but overcame this disadvantage to actually be quite useful. We won't mention the fact that he can sing, read and play music. We won't mention his featured articles, his Pee Reviews, his userboxes, his permanently broken user page or how annoyed it makes him if you spell the second part of his user name wrong. We won't dance around the issue any further; we owe it to those of you who have busy lives and those of you who are reading the UnSignpost while your home burns around you not to mince words, so we won't, we are through mincing words; our words are so unminced they are still going "Moo" and eating grass. So now we have dispensed with all that time wasting nonsense we can tell you immediately and without delay that this week the biopic is about John Lydon. Newsroom UnTune of the week Are We Human Or Are We Cancer?

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1234 ~ 03:47, 13 January 2011

Thanks

M&M, thank you for voting for Todd Palin a few minutes ago. You didn't read it all, but did you scan the links?? I've got four hidden pics in there, and want to go for five. And your car pic is still there, differently captioned, thanks for the contribution. A side story. A holy man came up to me one day and told me the secrets of life. He then told me to walk on, which I did. When I looked back he was picking up a coin I had dropped on the street and hightailing it outta there, the son of a bitch! Not a true story. But one I just thought of before coming here. Thanks again! Aleister 18:33 13 1 '11

Whoa...do you want any of my paintings? --~   18:43, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Any of your paintings? Ah, OK, I'll trade a poem for one. Where are they, and what are they made of? Chocolate, I hope. Aleister 19:13 13 1 '11

You're a meanie poopie head!

You said you'd give me a cookie if I helped you with Souvlaki, which I did. AND I NEVER GOT MY COOKIE!!!!!!!! Stupid meanie head... -- 21:16, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Happymonkey39 has awarded you a cookie! There, although mine were all stolen by Aliester and Lyrithya i still got this one so take it and shut up!

My cookie is better. --~   13:49, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

The one you didn't give? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 13:53, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Look at the bottom of Magic man's talk page. --~   13:58, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Ya, he did give me a cookie. -- 21:41, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

AND a gum. --~   21:42, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Meanie poopie head... -- 21:46, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Why so angry? You got a cookie AND a gum for free. What else could a man want? --~   21:48, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Um... Used gum! Hello!! That's gross! -- 21:49, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Really? I eat used gums without any problem. What's so bad with that? --~   21:51, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Gah! GERMS!!!!! -- 21:55, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Germs? You mean those little cute things we can't see? --~   21:56, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

But how do you know they're cute if you can't see them? -- 22:00, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Oh c'mon. You ruined everything. --~   22:01, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

No you did. By not having a witty retort. -- 22:03, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Wait wait wait hold up. Go back a bit. He said "gums". That means he eat human gums not pieces of gum... CANNIBAL. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 02:11, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

What a meanie poopie head... -- 03:04, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Make that a cannibalistic meanie poopie head. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 14:34, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Exactly! -- 16:31, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Whatever. --~   17:05, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Your paintings

They're great. So have a ninjastar!

-- 01:53, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Actually speaking of that, you have some "family portraits" with all you, even the puppy... but where is your pet monkey!

You better get drawing or ill throw my sh*t at you. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 03:32, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, I'll leave a painting of you on your talk page. Happy? -- 13:55, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!

Ya know, people used to spam these messages all over the place. How times can change. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:50, 17 January 2011

Any more pictures

The Gallery dosen't wait all day. -- 01:33, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

This is not an article

Hey groove, thanks for the tiny but very wise edit. Was a snappy idea. Don't hesitate to make more small and wise edits, and/or snappy ideas, or to piss all over the article however you like. :) --Shabidoo 15:09, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Nice article but I'm lazy

I read your article HowTo:Care for a Goldfish. It was good and not bad. I can't review it because I'm lazy and couldn't give you any criticism. Also I think that Magic Admiral fella wants to review it. Can't be stepping on peoples toes, especially high-ranking officers (who are magic), reviewing articles all willy-nilly. Feelings could get hurt. No. I'm just lazy. That's the reason. --Omnifluff 16:07, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

ALSO NEWB!

Congrats from a former Noob of the Month in, hmm, I think about 1909. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  17:25, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

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Jan 20th, 2011 • Issue 104 • Whatever happened to Wagon Wheels?

PuppyOnTheRadio makes a discovery! By Chief Incredible, isn't it; we were pretty astounded ourselves... the UnSignpost actually has some news to report! Yes, everyone's favourite radio-fetishist canine has made the discovery of the century decade year week by coming up with a way to condense games down into one, two, three or even four pages as opposed to 167. This discovery has many benefits, none of which are likely to affect you, but it helps fulfil Uncyclopedia's green commitment by reducing internet congestion by quite a high number and it makes your work easier to destroy, thus breaking your spirit up to 50% quicker! This paper understands that the discovery occurred as PuppyOnTheRadio was sniffing spores, mould and fungus (as he does every Tuesday), when he accidentally sneezed mucus all over them. POTR then observed some remarkable effects as the games mould shrank down into one or two easy-to-manage pages piles. So if you witness some huge game purges going on, do not be concerned; it's just the administrators cleaning up after POTR; needless to say they hate him for this. You all think about that before you next consider doing something useful; all you have to gain is the eternal hatred of every active administrator, although if you really want that, he has posted some ads looking for help. Also yes, this paper is aware that the image accompanying this story is of Sigmund Freud as opposed to a real scientist; this is not because we don't know who he is, but simply because POTR has issues. Facebook for a day By Chief Those of you who arrived at Uncyclopedia on the 16th of this month may have noticed that the main page looked like Facebook. We here at the UnSignpost certainly did; we were celebrating the inevitable salaries, dental plans and offices with swivel chairs that inevitably come with people who have money being in charge when Zombiebaron told us it was just a reskin, what a jerk. The page has received high praise from the community, especially those who were in it. The brains behind it (and we use the term brains loosely) were Zombiebaron and Lyrithya, who spent a great deal of their seemingly limitless free time working on it. This newspaper can only assume they were both living off other people's money and not paying tax at the time, because if they contributed anything to society then they would have been slumped in front of their TV's, miserable and alone, frittering away their time on earth like the rest of us. Did we mention that they are probably in the country illegally? As per this newspaper's policy of forgetting to ask people for quotes in case they say something worth writing, we have simply observed Lyrithya (from a safe distance) to find out her feelings on the reskin. Don't do this, for your own safety. All she does is eat Cheetos and whine. Zombiebaron has once again obliged us by simply saying "Zombiebaron" in response to any question our reporters ask. All joking aside, the reskin was superb and a lot of hard work went into its creation, and not just from the two users mentioned. Others were involved in some of the jokes, creativity and stuff. Check the reskin out in the main page history if you missed it, or you can check out all the main page reskins in the reskin archive.

Check out these pages! The PLS..... again Wikia r teh suxx0rz!!!11!!one!! HELP!! Check out the toilet! From our logs: 6:53, January 13, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Ihatethisbloodysite (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (we're not too fond of you either) 11:09, January 17, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Uncyclopedia Is Racist Towards Niggers (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (COON!!!!) 23:58, January 18, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.238.88.224 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (It's captain gaylord! Thank you for saving us!) 16:37, January 19, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.196.51.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (With a pottymouth like that Santa won't be bringing you any gifts this year) 18:58, January 19, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked ChíefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Fuck ChíefjusticeDS) 12:58, January 17, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.12.66.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (partly for vanity, partly for cyberbullying, partly just for being from Luton.) Biopic of the Week Anyone who has ever strode into the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is probably familiar with our user for this week. Not only does he seem to have been there since the dawn of time, but he never leaves the place. He is always there; he is to the IRC what lying is to politics, what dilithium crystals are to the starship Enterprise. Yes, this week it's finally time for a biopic on Olipro. Olipro has been here since... a very long time ago and is a great mystery to everyone; most people have no idea he is an administrator, most people have no idea that he considers a morning wasted if he hasn't called 5 people cockjockey by lunchtime. Olipro is one of those mysterious creatures who occasionally tinkers with important pages, occasionally drops by to tell his favourite users that they were born out of wedlock, and, if you rub the side of his magic lamp, occasionally produces pages of code to make the mining maintenance of the site easier. Chances are he has effected you in some way during your stay on Uncyclopedia, if not get yourself into the IRC and tell him that his username sucks balls; that way you are guaranteed the full, untainted Olipro experience. Newsroom UnTune of the week Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

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1234 ~ 08:15, 20 January 2011

Supernoob replying to the question of Greekness and the name Romaioktonos

Hehe, no I am not Greek, but I am an avid student of Greek history and Ancient Greek society (henceforth all the Greek references in my articles, although my lack of experience yields low quality as of this point, although my newest Europa Barbarorum article I think may be better). The name Romaioktonos is indeed of Greek origin, meaning "Roman slayer". The concept of Romaioktonos (pl. Romaioktonoi) rises from the Europa Barbarorum community, which has a fringe group called the Romaioktonoi that is noted by Rome-hating, although not necessarily Philhellenism (although most are, some like Karchedon/Carthage, Parthia, etc.) --Romaioktonos 02:54, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

-And I just noticed your Greek spelling fix. Thanks :P (would you mind teaching me all the Polytonic accent adding?). Romaioktonos 17:40, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Polytonic? What's that? A word with two tones? --~  17:47, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

I use the Polytonic keyboard for accents such as the circumflex (that I gotta repick as I skipped over those in my self-inducedintroduction to Greek) example being ὧ Romaioktonos 18:07, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Wait... you don't use the polytonic keyboard to add your accents? I only know the rough breath mark on the regular Keyboard... Romaioktonos 18:10, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Polytonic? No. I use the english-greek keyboard. I still can't understand what polytonic is... is circumflex a polytonic something?... --~  18:14, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Maybe not... v(^_~)v Romaioktonos 18:28, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Your sig

I don't know if you know this but... When You hit the sig button it puts this: -- before your sig. And seeing as you already have the ~ before your sig you might want to delete those dashes every time you hit the sig button, or take the tilde from your sig. Anyway, the way it looks now is like this: --~  Just saying, it's ugly. -- 18:06, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

What about this? ~  18:08, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, like that. -- 18:12, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Velcum the Uncyclops

Why you no use our welcome template?

Hello, {{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your [[Special:Contributions/{{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}|contributions]]. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you: Beginner's Guide Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends How to be funny and not just stupid If you read anything at all, make it the above three links.

To find out more about Uncyclopedia or for help with something, try these: About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

To find out about writing on Uncyclopedia, see here: At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, [[User:{{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}/Article about stuff]]) so you can edit it without the fear of being deleted. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in! If you still can't decide about what you want to write you can also search here in order to find ideas about new articles.

For more help, go here: If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join.

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please remember to sign your name on talk pages or Forums, using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. Again, welcome!

→ I am greatSoup? 19:01 25-Jan-11 ← You're right. I forgot about it. Sorry. --~  19:03, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

How could you? /cry → I am greatSoup? 19:07 25-Jan-11 ←

Hey! Wait a minute! You don't use it either! --~  19:08, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

I thought I just did → I am greatSoup? 19:08 25-Jan-11 ←

That doesn't count as a welcome. --~  19:09, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

But when didn't I? → I am greatSoup? 19:11 25-Jan-11 ←

When didn't you what? --~  19:12, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

I did it on User_talk:Stefan382, User_talk:RAVERWORM, and User_talk:Scabada → I am greatSoup? 19:13 25-Jan-11 ←

Yeah and you did it wrong. Go there and look what you made. --~  19:18, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, so a couple of them I messed up on subst'ing them, but still → I am greatSoup? 19:19 25-Jan-11 ←

A couple? They are more than the half. --~  19:20, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

lol, more than half of the three

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

→ I am greatSoup? 19:22 25-Jan-11 ←

I have two cows? Great! I'm going to sell those poor animals to the butcher and make money. --~  19:23, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

lol, it's part of a political science joke from this other site I was reading... [1] → I am greatSoup? 19:25 25-Jan-11 ←

Hey! The joke doesn't tell anything about the greeks! --~  19:27, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, you're right... hmmm, what would you have it say? → I am greatSoup? 19:29 25-Jan-11 ←

It would go like this

You have two cows

You sell one and buy a lamb

You throw the other one at the pollice officers.

~  19:34, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Haha

Chinese Corporation

You have two cows

You pay ten people a nickel a day to milk each cow for 16 hours without breaks

You adjust the value of your currency to get maximum profit from selling the milk to Americans

Am I doing it right?→ I am greatSoup? 19:40 25-Jan-11 ←

Yep. C'mon. Make another one about the greeks. --~  19:43, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

You have two cows

You avoid paying taxes on them

The government goes bankrupt

Germany buys your cows

→ I am greatSoup? 20:17 25-Jan-11 ←

I made one for uncyclopedians:

You have two cows

You you bring one on a sojorn

The other one gets detained by the admins

Then you make up an Oscar Wilde quote about the whole mess

-- 21:25, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Haha, that's perfect. → I am greatSoup? 21:36 25-Jan-11 ←

Thank you! Thank you! *Bows* -- 03:39, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost! Wheeee!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

Jan 27th, 2011 • Issue 105 • Do not try this at home!

Awards and Voting Update By Chief As the Uncyclopedian voting season draws to a close, the UnSignpost is proud to have spent a full ten minutes looking at the scores on the award pages so you don't have to! Over on Writer of the Year Aleister in Chains has taken a lead of two points over Mhaille and Sog1970 who are tied in second place with 9 each. It looks as though WotY is set to be a real roller coaster thrill ride as the frontrunners approach the final furlong, looking to be the first to vault the pommel horse of victory and ultimately hit it out of the park for a triple 20 score of 180, all without potting the black... or getting knocked off their broomsticks. Meanwhile Uncyclopedian of the Year is interesting, if only to watch Uncyclopedians revelling in a completely non-gay celebration of how fantastic everyone else is, all except the leader, ironically, who this newspaper maintains is a work-shy wank-stain on the pants of life. RadicalX of the Year is a Zombiebaron appreciation party and he leads his nearest competitor by 7 points. The Top 10 articles of 2010 is almost finished and the leaders of the pack are becoming apparent, with Suddenly, Raccoons leading the pack and Gay whales in Darfur and A wizard did it tying for second place. There has been some comment on this positioning: mostly screams of horror that an article comprising 6 words could possibly competing for best article of the year, sighs of resignation as it inches closer to actually achieving that end and the snorting guffaws of the people voting for it as they accidentally eat the ends of their fingers while eating crisps and try to cross busy roads without looking. UnSignpost Disclaimer: All scores are correct at time of writing, if they change, as they inevitably will, why not look at it as a metaphor for our inability to understand the universe as it changes around us and leave this story alone? Panic, despair and anguish By Chief It was a fine day, and then Wikia came. They destroyed that which we hold dear, had the tenacity to upgrade the site, kidnapped our children after we refused to pay them for piping all the rats out of town, turned all our clocks backwards 3 hours and worst of all they turned Mordillo into a newt... but he got better. Yes, this week has seen another Wikia update, and our roving reporters have taken to the streets, in flak jackets naturally, to investigate the chaos currently engulfing Uncyclopedia, as people wake up to discover the changes to bits of the site they never used. First of all we stopped by the Village Dump, where the peasants are revolting, and some people are quite upset about the new changes. Chief among those people is Dexter111344, starter of the forum topic Technical difficulties with Wikimedia updates in January 2011; we didn't bother interviewing him as he looked quite mean, though this periodical does observe that Dexter has been protesting against regular bathing for some time now and nobody else really wants to talk to him. If you aren't Spang, Olipro or Lyrithya you won't have a clue what is going on, so we have condensed it down into a suitably stupid phrase just for you "Shit dun' got fucked up". From here we dropped by Wikia headquarters and, once we had obtained docking clearance and the shield on the forest moon was deactivated, we were able to speak to Grand Moff Sannse about the changes. "DPL has changed with the latest version of mediawiki, it will need tweaking" she explained, clearly oblivious to the fact our journalist doesn't know what all those words mean and thinks DPL stands for Dragons, Pixies and Lions. Sannse went on to say that the userbase will need to contribute in order to get things back to normal, as our interview concluded she pointed out that "Trousers aren't needed, just knowledge," which will come as a shock to the active userbase who have been turning up with neither for several years now. Stay classy, Uncyclopedia, and watch out for DPLs. If you find something that is badly broken and adversely effecting the running of the site as a whole then contact an administrator or an Imperial Stormtrooper member of wikia staff, and no, minor aesthetic changes don't count.

Check out these pages: Best of 2010 Candidates! Alone in the Dark Scraggle Salamander Jewish Cuisine A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass Little Adolf's School Report Regular K Bond Villain BIBLE! From our logs: 07:01, January 22, 2011 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Iwillkillyou333 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Not being Zombiebaron: This is a joke ban. Anybody who says it's not is a fucking liar. Now, start updating scores when you vote, or I will never ban you again. Ever!) 18:23, January 20, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.68.85.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (He is not God. God would be wearing a hat 14:56, January 21, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.44.241.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Crazy for "but sex," apparently. And bans.) 14:57, January 21, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 32 seconds ‎ (This Sycamore thinks he can just be "competent" and "Scottish". He'll have another think coming after I eat another jaffa cake.) 01:05, January 26, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked True mystery (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (YOU'RE A RIOT, TRUE MYSTERY, A REGULAR RIOT!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week Everybody likes magic; we here at the UnSignpost are firm believers in it as it delivers the periodical which you are currently perusing directly to your talk page every week! Brilliant stuff. The only person who likes magic more than we do is this week's user Magic man. He has even set up an award for the most magical user every month, because we are actually really short on silly awards like that. Besides that, Magic man has been a steady contributor to the site since June and has proved willing to help out where necessary; be it delivering the UnSignpost, frantically refreshing recent changes in search of creativity, sweeping, dusting, polishing and even writing articles. While he might not have penned thousands of featured articles, Magic man has proved to be helpful and more than willing to put in the hours, so by all means say hello to him and suggest he marry your sister when he has a free moment. Cajek Ban of the Week! 05:06, January 24, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (I am banning you because you edited Uncyclopedia) Newsroom UnTune of the week I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)

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1234 ~ 04:44, 27 January 2011

Wow

I was going to come compliment you on the beautiful picture of the river, and then I see your beautiful ocean gif. I'm jealous now, and kicking dirt around. Very nice work, those pics and the entire article. Aleister 14:05 28-1-'11

Thank you. I just put a dolphin image. Is it better now? Do you think I'll be going well in PLS? --~  14:09, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

You is very welcome. I'll look at the page, but can't comment on better or worse. The contest rules allow no help, not even opinions on "better now", at least that's how I understand them. Your Uncyclopedia Noob page is very good, and thanks for the mention in there, and yes, I will be asking for payment (haven't thought of that until I read your article, but my agent is contacting your people even as I type.). Enjoy,,,,,!!!! Aleister 14:15 28-1-'11

Yeah, well... about the payment... my agent, Lyrithya will arrange it... what's yur opinion about my new image... you know, the one with the dolphins. --~  14:19, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Unquotable:Quotes in AAAAA!

The reason I don't want the "AAAAA on finding a penny on the street" in the article is that it kills part of the joke. Think about it, "AAAAA! on Uncyclopedia", then "AAAAA! on doing something he thought was funny", then "AAAAA! on getting banned", and last "AAAAA! on dying old and alone...". Get it? It's as if AAAAA! is an uncyclopedia vandal. So finding a penny on the street makes no sense for the article. Anyway, hope I didn't make you angry. Thanks. -- 20:19, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Oh... --~  08:14, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

PLS

Sorry... --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 18:37, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city! made it into queue!

Thanks for votin...

-- 23:38, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

WINNER OF THE JANUARY 2011 MANIAC OF THE MONTH

--      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:39, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

home work articles

Your entry for the poo lit is really funny, the picture with the dolphins and the homework is great. did you make that yourself, its one of the best images ive seen on uncyclopedia. Anyways, I hope you place! --Shabidoo 15:25, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you! You really like the image? You can vote for it at VFP and your vote is needed. I saw your ozon article too. I didn't read it because I wouldn't understand what you're saying(I'm from Greece and it's hard for me to understand englsih). I think your article is going to be one of the three best in this categoy of PLS. Anyway, thanks again and good luck. --~  15:29, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Hahahaha, im actualy european too and I asked a belgian and spanish friend to read it to see if they could understand it and the belgian said she could, though being technical it was super challenging and the spaniard had no clue!!! Where is the VFP??? Ill vote for it RIGHT NOW, im serious its REALLY great! --Shabidoo 15:39, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

here Vote like you do at VFH. --~  15:43, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:VFP/Dolphs.jpg <==== There. --~  15:49, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

I voted for it, but all the comments winge about the upper lip of the dolphin. If I had a copy of photoshop Id try to touch it up but I dont. Why dont you work on the lip if you can. P.s. read your noob article, it has some pretty funny moments too. --Shabidoo 20:46, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Welcome message

I think you have a problem there, there is a section when you say "for more help look here..." but there are no links present. ~ 19:30, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Ooops. I'll try to fix it but the people I have already welcomed won't go somewhere for more help. --~  19:33, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Wait.There's no problem now. --~  19:38, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, I see what happened. I missed the "show" buttons. You might want to drop them or point them out to the noobs. If I missed it, there's a good chance a noob will as well. ~ 22:47, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Didn't think of that... I added those, thinking it'd save space or look cool or whatever, but you bring up a good point. Maybe they should go, although it might present another learning experience for the noobs if they learn about the [Show] buttons, too. → I am greatSoup? 23:03 1-Feb-11 ←

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

Feb 3rd, 2011 • Issue 106 • Can you feel the news melt?

Awards and the winners thereof By Chief Those of you who were rapt by the news from last issue were doubtless concerned by the news of Wikia updates, however life around the wiki appears to be proceeding as normal, albeit with more swearing and misery. Despite this last week being quite a slow one as far as news goes, the UnSignpost refuses to simply lie back and think of England. Our roving reporters have sat down with the yearly award winners to find out just how it feels to have no friends win a yearly award on Uncyclopedia! Our first stop was Zombiebaron, Potatochopper of the Year for 2010, and after turning down his offer of a plate of brains, we listened as he simply said "Zombiebaron Zombiebaron zombiebaron BRAINS!". Now accustomed to interviews with Zombiebaron, the UnSignpost had brought along former UotY winner and pretty lady Sockpuppet of an unregistered user to translate. According to Socky, Zombiebaron had this to say: "Well it's absolutely top hole, the chaps and chapettes singling me out for such a spiffing honour, really the whole venture is a jolly bit of sport which encourages the assertion that we must all pull together to make Uncyclopedia splendid and, of course, win the boat race. A glass of Iced tea anyone?" The UnSignpost suspects Socky made some of this up; everyone knows Zombiebaron hates Iced tea. Next we stealthily followed Aleister in Chains to work to find out just how he felt about being named Writer of the Year. He had this to say, to someone else: "Everyone nominated deserved the award. Seriously. It's like chopping a baby up bit by bit (dibs on the heart and some of the toes)," which means he is a whole 10% more stable than last years winner! It seems only fair that we should speak to Mhaille, repeat Writer of the Year loser and bureaucrat; he said, "I'd like to thank all the voters who for the fifth year running didn't get me a WOTY award and all the people who took time out from their busy schedule of not being on Uncyclopedia to come back and offer their support in our annual awards." What a splendid fellow. We here at the UnSignpost are all agreed that it takes real talent to lose as gracefully as Mhaille does. In an unprecedented turn of events, Useless Gobshite of the Year was jointly received by both Arsehole and Twattycake; Twattycake also picked up the Uncyclopedian of the Year award in a final evening of voting that will go down in history as having happened last weekend. We haven't asked them for quotes, though Twattycake did manage to say something about being incredibly grateful to everyone who voted for him. He then tried to consume our correspondent's "essence," so we haven't got anything more from him. The Top 10 of 2010 extravaganza also concluded with Suddenly, Raccoons taking the top spot, closely followed by A wizard did it, Filial Piety and Gay whales in Darfur. Mhaille, who won't stop following our journalists around, said "This years "Top" 10 shows once again that people of taste and infinite comedic writing talent must be found soon to stop this travesty from ever occurring again". The top ten extravaganza will continue for a while longer as each of the articles in the top 10 is once again highlighted on the front page. With that, Uncyclopedia's voting season draws to a close, leaving the UnSignpost bereft of filler material. Again. UnNews update By Zim After spending the last several months in a sensory deprivation tank, Reverend zim ulator has returned to his position at Uncyclopedia, though only on a part-time basis, the slacker. In his absence, SPIKE has been doing a great job of holding UnNews together. Kudos to him for a job well done, the slacker. There have been some grumblings about the UnNews podcast, more specifically the lack of updates since last summer. As of today, the podcast has been updated with UnNews' latest audios, dating back to January 24 2010. By the time this article is published, the list should stretch back to last August or so. Go check it out now; we'll wait. UnFunnies on UnNews main page are being changed again, after a hiatus. The cartoonist had been hospitalized with juxtaposition atrophy for the last several months, keeping him from his easel.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia MADE EASY!! I'm sorry! I can't hear you! This was a triumph Suck it! From our logs: 07:33, February 2, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.165.238.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanker: Take a week off. Get some air. Get a haircut. Go for a walk. Stop pissing me off.) 21:24, February 1, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Adsfsderaewfds (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bzahahahahahahahwahahh. Very eloquent of you sir.) 23:07, January 29, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Editing the wiki without due care, attention or care for my feelings, which you left in tatters as you departed leaving our song unfinished... I'm still not gay, that would be gay) 07:48, January 29, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 23 seconds ‎ (who the fuck are you, and what makes you think you can "write" an "article", eh?) 16:59, January 28, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.211.11.143 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Bad move - we lurve Asian women round here) 14:36, January 27, 2011 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10001 days ‎ (FU) Biopic Cop-out of the Week ChiefjusticeDS certainly is cool and worthy of a mention. Old school Featured Article New to Uncyclopedia? Have you had a look around and are wondering what to do? Why bother with all the glory of writing your own articles and having them featured? Why make useful contributions to other articles or help in the fight against vandalism? No. It's far more fun to beat other authors into the ground by telling them why their work sucks so much. Why not do a Pee Review, the last refuge of sexy cowards? The advantages to Peeing are wide and varied. For males, Pee Review can increase penis size, height, and even personal hygiene. For females improved breast shape along with better hair and more shoes are common side effects. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Will Possess Your Log Mordillo's musing of the Week "The Uncyclopedia community has disappointed me once more. Where else would you find an ungodly mishmash of the so called "top ten" as we have around here? Where else would an article about The Occult competes with an article about A Overview of the Wildlife in the Sahara, Gay Rights and Intercourse with Admins?. Even our great rival partner in crime cousin remote friend that other place makes sure to have some more consistency with their material. What have become of us? And then there are the Writer/Uncyclopedian/Schmuck/Whatever of the year. Enough to say that it's a waste of time. They're all sockpuppets of Mhaille by the end of the day. So, congratulations, Mhaille for your overall victory!" Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #873 You can't read. Random fact of the Week We have used all the custom userboxes the original designers of this periodical deemed to be safe, this is hardcore.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 02:36, 3 February 2011

Souvlaki

Για τσέκαρε λίγο τον πρόλογο Souvlaki γιατί το χιούμορ μου είναι από τον ΑΨ98P πλανήτη της Ανδρομέδας. (μην παιδεύομαι τσάμπα) Papas 21:28, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

OMG. Το πρότυπο με τον Τσακ εσύ το έκανες? --~  13:57, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

ναι, μαλακία είναι? Priest^{Annoy me here} 14:19, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

ΤΑ ΣΠΑΕΙ! --~  14:35, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

Έκανα μερικές αλλαγές και τελείωσα γιατί πρέπει να δουλέψω και λίγο. Πήγαινε δες εάν είναι εντάξει και βάλε και κανένα link. Αν δεν σου αρέσει ο Τσακ βγάλτον. Καλό απόγευμα. Priest^{Annoy me here} 15:33, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

ΧΑ! Μπορώ να μιλήσω ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΟ ΠΟΛΥ! -- 22:59, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

µr 9r347 (now with internal monologue!)

You are a funny bastard. And endearing in a Corky kinda way.

Is that funny? Does he get that reference, Omni?

I jest. About the Corky thing. Not the funny thing. You are Funny. :)

Really. An emoticon. What are you like fucking twelve?

So umm..?..???

Why, Omni? Why can't you just pay a fucking compliment to someone, then shut the fuck up? Just a little reassuring pat on the back. You always do this!

Well talk to you later.

Oh, that was a great line. "talk to you later." You ruin everything! You aren't talking you stupid-where's the backspace button-fuck I accidently hit sa-

--

Er... ever heard of "doctors"? --~  13:12, February 9, 2011 (UTC)

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

Feb 10th, 2011 • Issue 107 • The newspaper that you should really sign up for and read on your own talk page

Surprise! By Chief Is this a bag of poo I see before me? Indeed it is, good sirs and questionable madams; surprising, isn't it?! See how we have magnificently crafted the title of the competition here? We used the word poo, so it's sophisticated and funny! Especially if we set it on fire! Yes, it is Poo Lit Surprise time and it has been since January the 18th! However the UnSignpost won't let being some 23 days late to the competition stop the relentless march of journalism. The competition has been hosted this time around by sexy Scot Sycamore. When asked about the competition, Sycamore told our reporter "Things have gone pretty well with PLS. I've enjoyed reading many of the entries, and the quality has been very impressive - hopefully we'll see some great features from some very good new and old writers". Now in light of these comments, you may be thinking, "There's a man with his head screwed on correctly, I must pop round to his house for tea and muffins next time I'm out on a jaunt round Scotland," but we implore you not to do this, because Sycamore is, to be frank, snooker-loopy. After saying the above, Sycamore began to remove his clothing while saying, "As far as my personal experience goes, it’s been a challenge here and there - with some people wanting stuff that’s simply not feasible, capricious judges or general oversight to make sure special Uncyclopedians aren't walking into walls or playing with their faeces (a risk with several contributors). Overall I think I've been great and any problems have been someone else’s fault.." At this point our interviewer fled, just before Sycamore could provide an answer to the age old question about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts. The competition is due to provide definitive results by the 13th, but the fierce intensity in the competition id rivalled only by Mordillo's intense desire not to do any judging until late March (he claims he has life issues) and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user's desire to avoid allocating a clear winner (he clearly has life issues). The UnSignpost would like to extend its congratulations to everyone who participated in the PLS; as we always say, every single one of you is a winner; it's just that most of you won't actually be winners. Big News! By Chief First, a confession: I have just lied to all of you; there is no big news to report. Just about everyone has gotten over the Wikia update frenzy of a few weeks ago, there are no big awards left to report on, no controversies or pregnancies, or indeed pregnancies or controversies. We, well, I say we; it's just me really - which makes the meetings and functions really dull- have thought and thought and thought about what to put in this space. Should we tell you about Socky's idea to have yet another chance to vote in case you weren't completely sick of voting by now? Or should we look for a part of the site that nobody edits much, like UnTunes or UnScripts? We were stumped until we hit upon the idea of reporting on how you are all bunch of slackers who haven't done anything interesting this week, and it's true, everyone except Sycamore has been happy to just plod along being vaguely useful, and the UnSignpost is here to tell you that this is entirely unacceptable. We see you every day, adding things to QVFD, patrolling Recent Changes, writing articles and generally hanging about the place being limber and stress free; your attitudes are what reduced Mordillo to the burnt out husk he is today. Not that this paper encourages drama or vandalism; we just want to see the wiki fall into rack and ruin and be there to chronicle every glorious second of it! As the flames leap high into the night sky, the UnSignpost would be there, finally making use of the flak jackets we were issued last summer. Think of the coverage! We could interview Wikia representatives in their bunker at the heart of Skynet! We could run messages across the darkened fields of open warfare to... Fredd's house, the heart of the Uncyclopedian resistance. Imagine the pictures: Olipro executed by Wikia for a particularly groundbreaking piece of code that actually works! Lyrithya brutally murdered in the dead of night by nobody in particular! Not using that fecking dog image we've been using since issue 2! So to conclude, there is no way for us to fill this space this week short of encouraging a violent revolution. We hope the lot of you are satisfied.

Check out these pages! Blatant liberal bias! Wikia r teh suxx0rz A man with a plan Need an idea? From our logs: 03:46, February 8, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Mexicanswithoutborders (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I hereby diagnose you with xxXtreme gay syndrome) 20:15, February 7, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.35.199.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (See peace in the embrace of allah) 15:34, February 5, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 178.212.247.172 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Who are you people? Why do you keep turning up? Will you buy me some chips?) 12:06, February 3, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 83.14.194.82 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Take a step back and literally fuck your own face) 12:02, February 3, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.51.59.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Rabbinic intervention to stop you screwing Virgin Mary) 09:16, February 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.187.239.89 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (congratulations, you tripped our "predictable twat" alarm!) 20:51, February 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 165.234.184.39 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Hurrah for penis, it shall lead us to the promised land.... or was that Moses?) Biopic of the Week The time has come for us to talk about Syndrome. A splendid fellow, by all accounts; he has written stuff, he has reverted vandalism and is generally a splendid fellow, did I mention he is a splendid fellow? His approachability, fondness for muffins and the fact he thinks the admins are cool and sexy meant there was no competition when it came to deciding who should receive the honour of an UnSignpost biopic. The sad part, however, is that Syndrome is around less and less these days, and this just will not do. So here is what we shall do, we shall go out into the streets and we shall buy muffins, except the admins who will simply look cool and sexy as always, and we shall hold the muffins aloft until Syndrome gallops into view. It's foolproof! Word of the week, provided by: Mhaille Shandygaff Definition: (Noun) A large spoon used to clear drainpipes: "Pass me a ladder, a bucket and the Shandygaff" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A beer mixed with citrus-flavored soda, carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or cider: "Make mine a Shandygaff" Newsroom UnTune of the week 7 Shits

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 02:26, 10 February 2011

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday Mimo&maxus

Happy Birthday to you.

Yay! Lots of cake and crunchy things in wrappers. Aleister 13:30 11-2-'11

Don't even think about any treat. But thanks. Yay! Thanks! --~  13:34, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

And now, in greek!

Χρόνια πολλά σε εσάς,

Χρόνια πολλά σε εσάς,

Χρόνια πολλά σε Mimo & maxus

Χρόνια πολλά σε εσάς.

Και πολλά άλλα! -- 17:25, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Look at your talk page. Didn't I just say your greek sucks? What are you trying to do? Make my ears bleed?

P.S. My birthday were yesterday. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:30, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yes. Bloody ears turn me on. -- 17:45, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

I prefer bloody noses. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:47, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, I find blood in general to be sexy. -- 17:48, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Ever tried drinking blod and tequila mixed together? -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:52, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Every night. -- 17:57, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

And now in Canadian!

Haэppy Birthday to you, eh?

Haэppy birthday to you, eh?

Haэppy birthday to Mimo and Maxus, eh?

Haэppy birthday to you, eh?

--      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:16, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks

For the edit of Frederick The Great- Trivia. Not sure what you did but it looks better now.

Lost ESheep 17:19, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

The only thing I did was to put your sig out of the page. Nothing really changed. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 17:23, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

dolphin

Hey mimo, are you going to replace the dolphin image with the one I touched up? file:dolpha.jpg its up to you.--Shabidoo 01:06, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Hmm...I'm sorry but your image hasn't got anything different from my image except the paper which is not a plus. But thanks for trying. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 20:18, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

What are you talking about? I fixed the upper lip?!?!?! --Shabidoo 20:22, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

...looks the same to me. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 20:24, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Well ... as you like. It was a lovely waste of half an hour. Good luck with your articles and stuff. --Shabidoo 20:41, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Oh I see, your angry now huh? Alright then mr.Angry man! -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 20:42, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

No, Im not angry.Just disapointed after helping you with your article and trying to get your picture voted for and you shake that additude. Its fine, but I wont put any more effort into it if thats your additude :) --Shabidoo 20:45, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Okay you can replace it. Whatever. You make me look bad. If that's what you want, you can replace it. Whatever. -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 20:47, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

No its really really okay. Have fun. Uncyclopedia is fun. Good luck! :) --Shabidoo 20:51, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

Oh God! Would you both just shut up?!? Mimo, stop being a dick. And Shabidoo, stop being a dick too! NO MORE DICKS FOR ANYONE!! -- 23:13, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

But thats really prejudice against homosexuals here, who might want dicks! Its also insensitive to any nymphomaniac women, guys who dream of penis enlargements. And also, Im write and Mimos wrong and he should be punished! --Shabidoo 23:41, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

You see that right there? THAT'S WHAT WE CALL BEING A DICK!! -- 00:38, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, the difference between being a dick and no dicks for noone!!! ;) Okay, fine, no "hard" feelings then mimo! I was wrong and you were right. But you now magic man, im going to sabotage everything you do and vote against everything you write. ;) --Shabidoo 00:54, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Heh heh heh... hard feelings...

P.S.

That doesn't mean you were wrong Shabidoo, I just wanted you two to stop being dicks. -- 00:59, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Too late magic man. Still going to sabotage everything you write! :) In anycase, we werent being dicks, call it mediteranean banter. Magicman... interested in colaborating on an article!? --Shabidoo 01:01, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Lots of dicks in this section. Everybody, stop being one or some admin will wander by and wipe the floor with you. Your dicks I mean. Wipe the floor with your dicks. Aleister 1:18 15-2-'11

Is there anything on uncyclopedia that isnt inspired by penises or dicks!? --Shabidoo 01:40, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Actually... 1234 ~ 02:26, 15 February 2011

Shabidoo, I'd love to collaborate on something. I'm actually writing something now. I can put it in my userspace and give you the link to see how you like it. And if you do we could start collaborating. Unless you already had something in mind... And by the way, I'm not inspired by penises or dicks. I'm inspired by vagina's and asses. -- 03:25, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Olé. This must be the more lucky thing ive seen in this day! --Shabidoo 03:32, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

You can put the link on my user page ;) I wonder what Zombie Baron is inspired by, seeing that Zombies are asexual --Shabidoo 03:34, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Heaven

Hello. I tweeked and edited Heaven a bit more, hope you like it. Let me know. Thanks for letting me play on your page. Aleister 1:19 15-2-'11

Ah!

How divine hast thy signature become Mimonarusa! Given that thou hast decided to rip-off our fair maiden Lyrithya's signature, I have only one conclusion to make

THOU ART A GIRL!!!

And here's my customary gift to all girls on this site!

Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude.... But tonight I'm HUGGING YOU! Scofield has deemed you worthy of a hug for the above reason Thus, you may now consider yourself hugged. At this point, you may also want to consider checking your pockets so as to ascertain that everything is still there.

MARRY ME, Mimonarusa! --Scofield 16:21, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Hey I'm not a girl! At least I don't remember being a girl recently. Anyways if you still want to marry me I say YES!(we can be married until next Monday) -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 16:26, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Your VFH nom

Hello. I did very quick research on it because the page sounded like it had too many good one-liners for a one-time IP to put up, and quickly found it as early as 2001 with many other copies in the next few years. So this was something just copied onto the site, and what usually happens to these is they get quickly VFD'ed and tossed overboard. It was extremely funny though. And thanks for the necklace vote, that is very appreci-a-ted!! Aleister 19:55 15-2-'11

you keep making me angrier and angrier -- ~ Mimorianusa (talk) • (stalk) 19:57, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

? You should be as happy as a lark. And like I said, that page made my laugh way too much, which is why I had suspicions that it came from a one-visit IP. And your heaven page reads really good, I like what you did to it. Yay! And did you see Maniac McPee wanted to change his name??? Aleister 20:09 15-2-'11

My neck hurts.

Also, your sig is too big. Please, 12px maximum... that applies to font size as well, including <big> tags. Also, please don't use my daji... it's my precious.

And just because it took me this long to get around to noticing doesn't mean you should disregard, if you've that idea about you. And did I mention my neck hurts? 1234 ~ 03:05, 16 February 2011

I agree with daji because a symbol can become a unique signature. Almost nobody has used Mordillo's spinning star thing, although one guy came close and got jumped on by a few people, and one guy tried to steal Puppy's name once and got jumped on, so it is kind of serious. People like their symbols. It's all part of the learning thing, and now you can get even angrier at me if you want. 1234 ~ Aleister 3:14 16-2-'11

Thankee, Goode Sir/Ma'am

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thankee for supporting my featur'd and PLS winning Article.

I give Thanks for your goode and earnest Praise toward it.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:45, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

---

A message to everyone

ジャスティンビーバーは同性愛者であり、彼は下品な魚のペニスが子猫をレイプを使用しています。ダーティファッカー

あなたが本当にそう思う？ --~  19:49, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

私はありません。-- 20:38, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

私はたわごとを与えることはありません。--~  20:41, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

それはいいね... -- 20:43, February 16, 2011 (UTC)

あなたの日本語は、ギリシャ語よりも悪いです。 --~  16:41, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

Feb 17th, 2011 • Issue 108 • The newspaper that won't be interrupted by some kind of nocturnal omniv-

Who are these people? By Chief That's right, this week, Uncyclopedia has seen several old people reappear and start editing with the best of us. The first to appear was Codeine, who appeared on the wiki after previously dropping by only every few weeks to revert the anniversary pages and bemoan the general state of things; our forecasters are currently unsure whether we will see a full resurgence of Codeine, but they are hopeful that levels will continue to rise until everyone is crushed beneath Codeine's massive... mixed metaphor. Rcmurphy has also joined the wiki and can be sighted wandering around on recent changes, asking silly questions and trying and failing to create articles; we asked our forecasters what they thought about Rcmurphy and the chances of him staying here, but apparently they don't care about "some noob". Anyone who has not had a chance to speak to either Codeine or Rcmurphy should head to their talk pages right now and ask about their Mum and offer to adopt them, respectively. Be gentle with these two aged Uncyclopedians; remember, everything was far simpler in their day. When they were your age, all of this was fields, Mordillo was happy, the servers frolicked in a Wikia free wonderland and you were still a glint in your Mother's eye. We were lucky enough not to sit down with Codeine, but can predict with frightening accuracy that he would have said "Would you like a mint imperial?" if we had. You can't actually sit down with Rcmurphy because he has lost his 'sitting down and giving quotes to the UnSignpost' glasses, so we don't have a proper quote from him either. We can live with this and so can you. Remember, if you edit hard and eat your greens, you too could be just like Codeine and Rcmurphy in a few short years; how awesome would that be?! Suddenly News! By Chief So it was, with a mixture of relief and apathy, that the top 10 extravaganza drew to a close and it was revealed to everyone with no knowledge of the chronology of numbers which article claimed the top spot. Suddenly, Raccoons joins Dragon Warrior, AAAAAAAAA!, Captain Obvious, You Are Dead and the awkward tie from 2008 in the grand cupboard of Uncyclopedia where it shall remain as an example of how to write an Uncyclopedia article. The UnSignpost refuses to congratulate Hyperbole for writing Uncyclopedia's favorite article three years running, since doing so would run contrary to our aim of ultimately crushing him with the futility of his own existence. Hyperbole: You suck. In other news, the PLS scores have been added up; anybody who has been peeking at the results page while it was being created should report to Uncyclopedia HQ for the customary 15 lashes of the cat (the same punishment for reading this periodical before it is delivered), but should also be aware that ties in the PLS are unacceptable - don't ask why; they just are - and any ties have been broken with the help of the Power Rangers tie-breaker judges. If this upsets you, then just remember that it is all Socky's fault. The UnSignpost will have a full rundown of the winners and losers next week. A quick word on the forums: Poo. That was fun wasn't it? The final item of news for you this week is that Zombiebaron, everybody's favourite flesh-devouring chocolate flavoured snack admin, has taken it upon himself to propose an image manipulation competition which appears to take a very strong lead from the PLS in that essentially it is the PLS, but with images, not articles. We asked Zombiebaron if this was correct. "Zombiebaron," he responded emphatically. So if you think you have what it takes to chop potatoes with the best of them, then this is the competition for you. The UnSignpost will be following this new competition as it attempts to take wing and head for the skies and will be there to chronicle its rise and equally will be there to gleefully report every crushing failure! You can follow the competition here; now go and prepare, chop chop! BEST JOKE EVER!

Check out these pages! Srs biznss Cat cat cat Awwww Seriously, fuck this guy From our logs: 04:15, February 12, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Lairest (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Please read HTBFANJS: like mellow out, dude! peace and love and shit.) 14:52, February 11, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.74.26.175 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying is scientifically proven to be symptomatic of underdeveloped genitalia) 17:34, February 10, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.251.48.194 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Vandalism. Please grow up. Unless you're like a midget or something, in which case, grow out. Or round. Or down.) 20:50, February 9, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.139.210.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I'm quite flattered by your huge man-crush on me. All I can say is take a number, get in line) 06:06, February 15, 2011 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (attending a college that rejected my application) Biopic of the Week: Aleister's mother's rotting skull A WIZARD DID IT It's fucking magical or something! Word of the week, provided by: RabbiTechno Schmekldekker Definition: (Noun) A Lithuanian shoe used for Morris Dancing: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Gunther for last night I split my Schmekldekker" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A Yiddish word for Condom: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Isaac for last night I split my Schmekldekker" Newsroom UnTune of the week Stinky Love Song

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1234 ~ 06:16, 17 February 2011

Clinked half-full glasses to you

I thank you for your half-vote, although RPM is now banging on my door and shouting something about vote-stealing. I think that's who it is, anyway, it might be my neighbour having one of his 'funny turns.'--Holy shit it's Neopowell 16:18, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

You know, you remind me of Aleister. Are you Aleister's sockpuppet? --~  16:33, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

No. We gave it a try, but his wrists were too wide and I'm not willing to carry out the required stretching exercises.--Holy shit it's Neopowell 16:43, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

When I was at your age I thought Aleister was a woman... good old times. --~  16:44, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Perhaps he/she is, we did attempt Operation: Sockpuppet in the dark.--Holy shit it's Neopowell 16:48, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! Now you guys are tied! -- 16:50, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

I just said that at his talk page. --~  16:52, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Oh... I never looked. -- 16:59, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

It's all very exciting...I hope the prize is cider.--Holy shit it's Neopowell 17:12, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

The prize is just two used condoms and some stinky nachos. --~  17:24, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

...Used by who?--Holy shit it's Neopowell 17:59, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Me...Aleister, SPIKE, Chief, Magic Man... actually by every male uncyclopedian. --~  18:06, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Only two condoms? Didn't the last people in line feel a bit...icky? I know I did> would.--Holy shit it's Neopowell 18:59, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

We use them only once every month. --~  19:16, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Ahh, time for them to dry out, it all makes sense now.--Holy shit it's Neonazi powell! 19:58, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

I've been neopowell's sockpuppet all along. And I am a woman, a senior in high school named Missy Lou, who dances on the weekends down at Slim Jim's Lounge. By the way, both of us have edited that heven article a little, but neo may not have read the pee review (on the talk page), and you, M&M, should be doing the heavy editing from the pee review, yes? And thanks for the condem, all my boyfriends use the same one too! We call ours Kenny. Aleister 12:37 19-2-'11

You're a woman! I knew it! --~  12:39, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Thses last two comments aren't showing up on my screen, yet you answered mine. Do they show up on your screen? Aleister

yep. --~  12:54, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Liar. I still don't see these last comments. I'd better go put a comment on another talk page to see if it shows up for me, maybe my talk screen chip has turned into butter. Still think you're lying though. Missy Lou, catch me at Slim Jim's, I go on at 10:15 tonight 12:01 19-2-'11

I did not read the pee review, I hereby hang my head in shame. I have now read it and will make MOAR EDITS based on its advice when I've grown tired making jokes about the homeless and inventing imaginary battles for them to fight. --Holy Shit It's Neonazi powell 15:55, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Have any ideas?

I want to make a funny topic and get it featured. Any ideas? It could be a HowTo or a Why? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 18:51, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

I don't know. I just made an article named HowTo:Get into Heaven. You can make one like this, named HowTo:Get into Hell. --~  16:06, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I just made one called HowTo:Get Expelled from School. How is it? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 16:34, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Pretty good. I promise I'll work on it too. --~  16:35, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I'm adding some pictures now. And i'll make a HowTo:Get into Hell now. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 16:42, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Getting into Heaven

I have made some alterations to the article's introduction, have a goosie and see what you think so far.--Neonazi powell 20:06, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

i saw it. What did you do with your sig right now? Don't change it, it destroys the whole thing. Your edit was brilliant. Edit more, more MORE! --~  20:09, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

I re-added the 'Holy Shit It's...' bit, it seems to be working ok now. No problem doing more edits but they'll be bit-by-bit as I'm also doing a new article and I intend to go to the pub at some point. Mmm, cider...--Holy shit it's Neonazi powell! 20:13, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

And now for something completely different!

My new article: The article where paragraph 1 is the work of a five year old girl, paragraph 2 is the work of a crotchety old man, and paragraph 3 resulted from a collaboration by a epileptic goat, a squid with Alzheimer's, and an emo kid - is it any good? - Another n00b 23:38, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

err...well...yeah, it's pretty.. good.. --~  09:08, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

MOAR EDITS

I have done some MOAR EDITS on the Heaven article, please read the MOAR EDITS and let me know what you think of them. If you like them I'll do even MOAR EDITS just as soon as I can think of some funny ideas. I have a hangover at the moment which is making hilarity hard to come by.--Neonazi powell 12:00, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

I also reverted my sig back to your original version after the amount of technical trouble my attempts at changing it have caused. I suck. Holy shit it's --Neonazi powell 12:34, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

At least you know it now. --~  12:36, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Haven't forgotten the article, but I have important, non-parody related work to be doing over the nexy couple of days. Your help with the Hobo Army article was appreciated, by the way. --Holy Shit It's Neonazi powell 16:39, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hello Mimo

Would you like a grape lollipop? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 18:14, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I haven't got something better to do, so... yeah. --~  19:50, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

(Note:There used to be a grape lollipop here, but it got removed because Mimo is allergic. If you want a grape lolly, ask me on my talkpage.)

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:06, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Grape? LOLLIPOP?!?!? I didn't agree about getting any grape lollipo! I'm alergic to grape lollipops. Take that thing away from me. --~  20:07, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I asked you if you'd like a grape lollipop... I took the grape lollipop away. I'll give you strawberry instead.

(Note:Mimo is awfully fussy today. He didn't want strawberry either...)

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:17, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S THE ONE YOU WANTED TO GIVE TO ALEISTER! What am I? A crap-eater? No! I want another one. A greek lollipop. --~  20:20, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

They all look the same. But it's a different one, I assure you. But since you asked, i'll give you a Greek lollipop. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:22, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:33, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Nice greek lollipop. Don't know about you, but I think your heaven page is in pretty good shape right now. It may pass VFH, and if so, will gain you much in ways of peer respect among the people you know and that girl you like, the one with the long blond hair tied up behind her head. Nice page. Aleister 14:IH 22-2-'11

Wanna... nominate it? Please? No? It's okay. --~  14:18, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

It may be nominated, but if it is, someone misspelled it by not capitalizing heaven. And whomever nominated it only noticed afterwards that another recent page nominated is a how to get into hell page, so they kind of play off each other. Good timing or bad timing, I don't know. Nice work! Aleister 14:34 22-2-'11

I said wanna vomit on it. But I'll vote. Thanks. You're the best. --~  14:39, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I'm making two HowTos: HowTo:Hold in your shit for a long period of time and HowTo:Get a lot of views on YouTube. Enjoy. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:39, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I'm considering a HowTo:Escape from Hell page, or have we had enough of this afterlife-as-a-revolving-door thing now? --Holy Shit It's Neonazi powell 19:25, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

I voted for the article because Mimo threatened to beat me around the legs and stomach with sticks. *sob* --Holy Shit It's Neonazi powell 11:45, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Mimo? Where are you?

I haven't seen Mimo around here for a while. 2 days I believe. That's not him to disappear like that. Hope he's okay. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:37, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

I am here but when I was in you were out. --~  12:07, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Oh. *phew* Did you enjoy the greek lollipop? Now you can order lollipops here! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:16, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignnull pointer exception

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

Feb 24th, 2011 • Issue 109 • Just heat and serve!

Poo Aftermath By Chief We write on what is, for the UnSignpost, a very sad day. It is sad because the Poo Lit Surprise has concluded and thus, after this story, we will once again be bereft of material to fill the eternal white space which mocks us every time we begin a new issue. Nevertheless, we have resolved to wring the final droplets of news from the damp flannel of the PLS; it's easier than thinking, you see. After the ties and laziness of the judging process had been overcome, through the miracles of adding up and generally being unfair, Sycamore was finally able to reveal the winners to the world. As you would expect, the UnSignpost staff were all otherwise occupied while he was doing this, but have not only swung by the winners circle and spoken to the few contestants who don't yet have restraining orders against us but have also fetched the scores from the competition page thus saving you from the horrors of excessive reading once again. The winner of the coveted Best in show article rosette was BabyTV, written by the camera-shy Black flamingo11, who was just ecstatic about the win, we assume. Other winners were a noob for their noob article, and Guildensternenstein, who won the Best Alternate Namespace Article with another article; this no longer merits any congratulation as we have come to expect and demand this of him by now. The Best Illustrated Article category broke all known records by having only three entrants and then being unable to select one to triumph over the others; it was eventually decided that - since we edit in a corrupt aristocracy where the cabal secretly decides everything - the two admins would win together and Lyrithya could have the supreme honour of being runner up! Lyrithya was permitted this enviable honour for a second time in the Best Rewrite category where she and Black flamingo11 lost to Thekillerfroggy. The UnSignpost would, as is customary, like to offer its congratulations to all the contestants and its thanks to all the judges for ensuring that the competition failed to run smoothly; thanks also go to Sycamore for ruining running the whole thing. It's all going to end in tears By Him again Like the eviction notices that keep arriving at UnSignpost HQ, the imminent threat of terrorism drama has once again demonstrated that it is impossible to escape and this time our top scientists believe it could be deployed within 15 minutes to effect each and every one of us. The threat is now so real that Mordillo is thought to be, at this moment, appealing to Wikia for emergency powers to deal with the possible uprising! Repent! The end is nigh! Duck and cover! No, not really; while the spectre of remotely possible drama does indeed hang over our heads, there is no reason to stop drop and roll just yet, though this week tension has ramped up a notch as a proposal to change the rules of the mythical other form of VFS was raised in the forums. The idea was pioneered by Electrified mocha chinchilla who suggests that the present system is unfair and is calling for change. Hyperbole has also voiced his opposition to the present system by making it sound like we are editing in a slightly less humane version of Stalin's Russia, where the proles non-admins flit from doorway to doorway on stormy nights to write articles in secret, for they know this is when the administrators are surely distracted by dining lavishly on the finest sweetmeats Wikia can buy, all the while chortling about how much fun it is to have all the power. At least that's what Mhaille told our correspondent that Hyperbole was saying (he assured us he was Hyperbole's best friend). Rallied against change are the embittered power mad administrators who cling to power like limpets, notably among this group of despicable despots is the definitive despicable despot Mordillo and despicable definitive despot Rcmurphy. Olipro has taken advantage of the preoccupation with most of the active userbase in fighting to the death in the Ministry of Love to propose the locking of the sandbox talk page. What fun he must be at parties. The UnSignpost will continue to monitor the situation, but just remember, admin rights are just like haemorrhoids; sooner or later every arsehole gets them. Think about that.

Check out these pages! I have a massive hat! What do you call it? Don't forget this! From our logs: 14:19, February 21, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.191.71.173 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (God probably has most concern over man's inhumanity to his fellow man than fucking around on a comedy website) 07:40, February 21, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.89.143.221 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY) 09:27, February 23, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 63.228.102.161 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (You sound lovely, give me a big manly naked hug to celebrate your undeniable loveliness) 03:52, February 21, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (you are banned, fucker!!!!!!!!!) HowTo of the Week (Courtesy POTR) HowTo:Join the UnSignpost First we need to get police clearance for you. This requires 100 points of ID. Due to recent regulatory changes this means you will need to post original copies of your birth certificate, passport, driver's license, a copy of a recent bank statement, and any pin numbers you have. Also, as you are no doubt aware, our editor in chief has had to flee the country due to persecution by his enemies. As an UnSignpost reporter you have to be resourceful so we are entrusting you to help us get the 40 million USD we have managed to hide from his enemies out of the country. This is a matter of life and death, and we are happy to give you 25% of this sum for your assistance. Please, do not tell anyone about this, as we cannot trust anyone with this secret. Send us your bank account details, and place 2,000 USD in the account immediately to cover banking costs. Oh, and we would like to get an idea of what your health status is, and that of your immediate family. Our doctors are experts in diagnosis via photo recognition, so send us as many photos as possible of yourself and all your family members naked. Welcome to the team! Word of the week, provided by: Sockpuppet of an unregistered user Guffaw Definition: (Noun) A small but highly vicious breed of Ferret "Jonathan watched helplessly as the mad Scientist smeared his genitals with Jam and released a massive Guffaw" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A boisterous laugh: "Jonathan watched helplessly as the mad Scientist smeared his genitals with Syrup and released a massive Guffaw" Newsroom UnTune of the week Be Gay

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1234 ~ 07:43, 24 February 2011

HAPPY MONKEY COMPETITION MARCH 2nd

¡¡¡ OLÉ !!!  :)

--Shabidoo 09:59, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Are you going to play in the Happy Monkey? Even if you have a time difference we all still get 24 hours. I hope your page does well, and thanks very much for the vote on The Old Man and LV page, that was a joy to work and focus on. Happy monkey! Aleister 14:24 25-2-'11

I don't know what this Happy Monkey thing is. --~  14:32, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

A happy monkey is what happens when a porpoise goes into its cocoon, emerging as a porcupine which, shocked at the quills on its back, turns into a goose, and only later, when it is about 5 years old, does it take the form of a happy monkey. Aleister 14:36 25-2-'11

O_O Seriously, what is it? --~  14:38, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Aleister left out a lot of really disgusting parts in that whole process. He makes it seem really fun but to get to be a happy monkey you actually have to go through a great deal of suffering. Or do happy monkeys suffer? I dont remember where the dark part goes. I actually kept you in Mind mimo when I chose the time. It will be 23.00 where I live, so I thought you could still have a chance to think about it at 00.00. --ShabiDOO 15:33, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

There will be a giant monkey. You will go inside the giant monkey. 1234 ~ 17:26, 25 February 2011

LOL Lyrithya. I was giving a class while reading this, had to keep myself from laughing out loud!!! --ShabiDOO 21:28, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Don't worry. Had you been elsewhere, it doubtfully would have been so funny. That it is inappropriate... well, that tends to make such things more laughable. 1234 ~ 21:52, 25 February 2011

Asminfs

To you, Zombiebaron, and Hyperbole: Thank you too for thinking of me on the temp. admin page. One of the reasons why I wouldn't want it is I'm lousy at code, and figure that admins play with charts and code books and trapdoors that I couldn't even knock on. So best left to the guys who can work the machinery. Plus I would feature things like a week ahead of time, and not ban people that should be banned (I like the 92 vandal, and would end up giving him all the good codes and keys in exchange for a ringside seat), and be hesitant to huff pages. But thanks though. And what does a mouse catcher do? Aleister 14:00 27-2-'11

You can always vote for me. I know I won't ever be an admin but I want a vote. --~  14:26, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

I used my three votes. And why say "won't ever", who knows? When you are an admin please give me all the codes and keys so I can give them to the 92 vandal. Thanks. Aleister 14:28 27-2-'11

But... aren't you the 92 vandal? --~  14:30, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Only sometimes, when he's on vacation. Aleister somewhere in time

Okay. Am I an admin in your something book? --~  14:33, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

No, but a good poopsmith though, although I'm not exactly sure what that is. Aleister 14:58 27-2-'11

I will be the best if it's about poop. --~  15:53, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

By counting my votes at the forum I discovered I did have one more vote, and used it on Puppy in hopes that others would vote for him too. He'd be a very good temp. admin. Congrats on the Potatochopper award, it looks nice floating on your user page. Aleister 5:00 1-3-'11

No, it doesn;t. You're lying. --~  15:39, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

World distracted, Rabbi Techno slaps a massive template on your talkpage

ITS BETTER NOW, JEW

IT CERTAINLY IS, GOY. THANKS. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:52, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

ANYTIME, JEW. --~  15:04, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

super happy competition topic

Hey your topic will be ready here at about five minutes before the start of the competition (5pm EST or 2200 UTC). HAVE FUN AND GOOD LUCK :) PISSING ALL OVER YOUR FACE --ShabiDOO 21:47, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

March 3rd, 2011 • Issue 110 • Be sure to listen carefully for the Satanic messages!

Hip Hop Admin Master Mixer By Chief Yes, that's right, it's all here: votes for temporary adminship. Two things that are immediately noticeable to those looking at forum is that the community is divided and that it isn't funny at all. Even the permanently enthusiastic joke Dolphins kept in the dream filled creativity lake outside UnSignpost HQ are struggling to provide any inspiration for jokes to be made on this subject, and reading the forums pertaining to this is about as funny as having a brick thrown in your face only to wake up and discover there is a gas bill tied to it. That is why the UnSignpost refuses to make any mention of it again ever. The UnSignpost would instead like to draw your attention to this picture of a Dog dressed as a Lobster, and feels that there is greater allegorical significance to it than is immediately apparent. To help us out we spent a huge amount of money that we just found on getting an interview with Professor Oswald that ends wald who has spent his life studying stuff! We were permitted to observe as he perused the picture, occasionally sniffing our correspondent's hair and twitching. After falling over twice and arguing with a nearby desk fan, the professor mused: "If there's one thing your average sweet old lady really likes, it's a damn good row over a few pence..." and from looking at the picture, the UnSignpost can certainly see how he came to this conclusion; if you can't, then you aren't looking hard enough. Our reporter watched in fascination as the Professor stumbled around the room and appeared to develop his prior assertion: "The other things old ladies enjoy are drinking sherry and racism." Truly thought-provoking. The professor finally stood swaying in front of the picture and his eyes seemed to clear in a glorious moment of clarity. "Fuck me, that's an ugly Dog!" he proclaimed before collapsing into a heap on the floor. Got an opinion on everything but no knowledge of anything? Be an UnSignpost authority on nothing! Contact recruitment today! Pooper scoopers and General stuff By Chief Poo. Yes, poo. It's the Dilithium crystal equivalent for Uncyclopedia in that the place couldn't work without it, but nobody is quite sure why. Unlike taking the piss, taking the Poop is a job that not just anyone can do, and the poopsmiths are the chosen few who are permitted to archive the important pages; this reduces the number of plastic bags bans handed out to innocent noobs just trying to help out by power crazed administrators, thus meaning Uncyclopedia is 30% greener! Incidentally, this issue of the UnSignpost is brought to you entirely through the miracle of recycled pixels! Feel free to reuse them later! This week has seen a new Poopsmith appointed to the order, Lyrithya. When asked to comment on this, she said, "It makes me feel as though a great gong has sounded in my loins," which at least demonstrates the appropriate mindset for the job. In other news, the Earth continued to orbit the Sun and through the unrelenting march of time another month has ended and the monthly awards duly dished out to people who don't deserve them. Socky took Writer of the Month, something which has left him as cheerful as can be (we assume), Black flamingo11 took Uncyclopedian of the month, something which as left him pleased as punch (we assume) and new fellow Rpm snatched Noob of the Month from under Rcmurphy's nose, something which has left them respectively pleased and miserable (we assume). Finally; Uncyclopedians have been sharing their pathetic stories of how they came to edit the site. It's all undeniably homosexual, especially the parts concerning supposed women. The UnSignpost editorial team certainly won't be contributing to Uncyclopedia's very own Princess Diaries; we came to be here in the normal way: an accident involving a van, a tin of baked beans, a large vat of sherbet and 50,000 volts of direct current.

Check out these pages! Roman Dog Bird So many words... More words Jack Phoenix is sexy From our logs: 13:05, March 1, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 172.162.2.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Garfield fan + AOL user = epic faggot) 21:14, March 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (if I'm gonna take a month of banning people, I might as well get one last fix. *click* ahhhh yeah - that's the stuff...) 08:13, February 28, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.97.154.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'm pretty sure you called yourself a "niggerfaggot" at one point so I'm not sure there is anything I can do to insult you further) 19:13, February 27, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.149.157.59 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Thank God you're here copy-and-paste-stuff-from-Wikipedia man!) 22:43, February 24, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked ChefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (ohai evil alter ego) 10:28, March 2, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.194.154.216 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (3 days for vandalising Uncyclopedia. 4 days for thinking he was vandalising Wikipedia.) Biopic of the Week What can we say about Mimo&maxus? Not a great deal, since all of our devoted research team is on a fact-finding mission to the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. However the editor demands that we say something, so here it is, all the information this journalist could dredge from his userpage. Mimo&maxus can allegedly potatochop, he likes trees, he likes goats and he was noob of the month back in the heady days of October last year. You can usually find him laughing and otherwise being unproductive, which is not his job; it is ours. So there you go, Mimo, the biopic you always wanted, with a picture of a goat for no extra charge. Word of the week, provided by: Olipro Toepassing Definition: (Noun) A popular dessert in the Netherlands. "Because of your splendid Toepassing, I am prepared to overlook the incident with the lorry-load of Penguins." OR (less commonly) (Noun) Dutch translation of the word Application: "Because of your splendid Toepassing, I am prepared to overlook the incident with the lorry-load of Clogs." Loser of the week Under user; what does he mean by not being here?

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1234 ~ 16:06, 3 March 2011

Hey

Hey! Howzit? Thanks for the welcome! --BobNewbie 15:31, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Anytime, noob. --~  15:33, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Er... If I were you I'd be careful what you say to new users. That sounded mean. Even if you didn't mean it that way, that's how it sounded. He might take it to heart, and leave. Just saying... -- 16:38, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

He is not new. I know how to treat to new users mr.Perfect! He is a famous user at the superhero wiki or something. Mr.awesome! He is used to wikies. --~  16:42, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hey hey hey! No need to get defensive. If he's used to Wikia, then fine. I just didn't want to lose a new user over a well meaning comment. -- 16:45, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, no offence taken. Also, I am well known on may wiki's because I'm prolific, and yes I do work at Superpower Wiki. Anyway, just need some help getting to know everybody and those things, but I'm not a total noob. So...yeah, I take that fine. B0B ^{Shitface • Newbie} 18:10, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

I will tell you everything about Uncyclopedia but can I call you "noob"? --~  18:13, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Sure. --B0B ^{Shitface • Newbie} 18:15, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

How could you like that?

The article School Vandalism fails UN:HTBFANJS, Does not parody anything in plain site apart from possibly Manchester United fans and is Very badly formatted. In fact, this is QVFD material as it is just horrid, unappealing to practically everyone and breaks almost every Guideline, Manual and Policy of this website. - 77.103.26.107 16:51, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, it's too old to be QVFD material, and deleting it without a discussion at VFD would break certain Guidelines, Manuals and Policies of this website. pillow talk 16:52, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

I can't put it on VFD, as it has been semi-protected for reasons regarding the common belief that IPs are Vandals. - 77.103.26.107 16:57, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, you're correct; 90% of IPs are indeed idiotic vandals, and those 10% who are not often do not understand our procedures and policies well enough to participate on VFD.

But you seem articulate enough. If you'd like to create an account, we'd love to have you. You'll still have to play around with other things for a week or so before you can use VFD. pillow talk 17:00, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

School vandalism parodies the most of the edits by vandals because this is who the contest of the page would look after it was being vandalised by someone. Also this is why there is this green box on the upper place of your screen. It is what people see when they are trying to undo the edits of vandals. I can't speak english and you may not understand the joke. Ask some other users, maybe the one who wrote this. --~  17:02, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

And no, it's not a common belief that IPs are vandals (have you ever read Kitten Huffing? That was written by an IP, and it was featured). We've just had a lot of vandalism by IPs on that page. And while we're on the subject, why don't you make an account? -- 17:04, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

If i wanted to read an article which shown an image of Al Johnson with a caption saying "This mAN raepd yuor FUC Knig daugHter", I would read ED. - 77.103.26.107 17:13, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Christ on a bike, why do you care so much??? - LOL vandalz

77.103.26.107, I don't disagree with you that that page is bad. But... yeah, we have probably 10,000 pages that are terrible, unfunny, and probably need to be deleted. Why you chose to fixate on that one is a little bit beyond me. pillow talk 17:18, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

If you really want, I'll nom it for VFD. Just say the word. But I still think you should create an account and do it yourself... -- 17:24, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah create an account. Althought you seem to be smart and this is not what uncyclopedians are you can be a member of our something, something. --~  17:26, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah! If you create an account you can be in our something! Wouldn't that be fun? -- 17:32, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

This is what I just said, magic man. Stop copying me. You will never be as awesome as I am. Even if you talk and dress like I do. --~  17:35, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Don't have sympathy for 77.103.26.107, he is in my 10th grade class and he lives down the street to me so we have the same IP, he got my IP blocked on wikipedia for Cyberbullying, vanity and Vandalism. He is the reason I am permanently unable to edit Wikipedia. Fuck him. - LOL vandalz

Er... I thought every computer had its own IP... -- 17:42, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

It's every Postal code area in the UK, for some reason. - LOL vandalz

Are you sure? -- 17:45, March 8, 2011 (UTC)