Portal:Music

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The Music Portal
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Music, first explored by Charles Darwin in the 1800s, is often considered an art form. It typically features a rhythm or beat, though some argue that it functions more like a hypnotic tool used by artists to sell CDs. When music is played, it often makes people want to dance, as its infectious rhythm seems to take control of the body. This effect is sometimes attributed to music's ability to disrupt the nervous system. Some scientists even suggest that music could be a form of disease, which may explain the premature deaths of famous musicians like Elvis and Jesus. Drummers, in particular, seem to suffer the most. Interestingly, those with no musical talent—like birds or bands such as Blink-182 and Oasis—are said to be immune. Ultimately, music may exist solely to drive listeners mad. It can take many forms, including singing, strumming, or blowing, all of which can push the boundaries of sanity. (See more...)

Featured Article
If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)

Music in the News
"What?"

VIENNA, Austria – At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue..."

Featured Image
Themessiah.jpg
The Messiah, according to the Cult of Courtnology, unlike other prophecies, this is based on verifiable fact.
Featured Artist
All you care about is me being bald?

Sinéad O'Connor, is a popular yet peculiar and rare Irish singer-songwriter, a Rastafari adherent, and the current Emperor of the United States.

Born in the bonnie bonnie land of wee fairies and angry anarchists, O'Connor came to the fore early in the 1980s with the rolicking ballad Smish te Cat'hloc Cherch, Jah, and became known for her act of tearing up a picture of the Pope for covering up - thus actually encouraging - child molestation, and for giving a handjob to his Chief of Staff, Fadda Murphy.

Sinéad O'Connor was the founder and pioneer of the "Bald-Headed Hot Chicks" fashion movement, which later included Demi Moore, Sigourney Weaver, Natalie Portman, Britney Spears, and that dead chick from the first Star Trek movie. However, because she came before the big wave of hot bald chicks, no guys at the time thought she was hot.

Featured UnTunes
I Like Cats.png

I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpanzees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.

I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat

(Full lyrics...)

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