User talk:Sonje/4

Your page looks very empty

Add a little content. With colors. Hurray! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:13, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Even if you make it look pretty... it's still rape. --^Dame 20:14, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

You may call it whatever you want. I prefer to think I was doing you a service. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:16, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Woody, it was good for me ;) --^Dame 20:18, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

I aim to please madame. No one can resist colors. That's why everyone loves my sig. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:27, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:57, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization preojects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:07, 6 Jun

Another image request

???

I would like a picture of an Italian soda over a beacon, and a happy guy sitting down with an Italian soda. Thanks. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Sure, but I don't quite understand. What kind of beacon? What is an Italian soda? And what article is this for? Generally if you make image requests it's best if you leave me a link to the article cause then I can get more details for the picture. --^Dame 09:48, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm sorry, I was in a rush. [1]This is an Italian soda. [2] That is the beacon I had in mind. Put the soda in the middle, please, and the other one can be found on Google Image, probably. I'll just search "Guy with drink" and see what comes up. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Ok, so here is the first attempt. I still don't really understand what you want here. Could you give me a link to the article it is for cause it will really help me figure out how to make the pictures work better. --^Dame 16:02, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

And here is the happy dude. --^Dame 16:28, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

You can find the article here. I think they fit in pretty well, not to mention they were funny, again thanks. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Dame Sonje:

A couplet from Billy the Kid: Your vote's put another notch on my gun, Historical revisionism has never been such fun.

Thanks for your vote! IronLung 02:19, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

press

hi sonje. i was wondering if you had any comment for the unsignpost concerning one user's recent calling-out of men for thier immaturity, crassness, and love of naked ladies. do you find yourself rolling your eyes at these 'stupid boys', or is it tolerable? do you have any suggestions for uncyclopedia's male users to clean up their act? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:49, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

I must say, I find it peculiar that this user chose to base her ‘respect’ for men on the contents of a parody site. I find the crassness rather endearing (in moderation). Perhaps this particular user has a more deeply rooted psychological reason for her disdain of ‘porn or sex or expletives’, perhaps resulting from her own self-image. --^Dame 15:37, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

thanks sonje!! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:41, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Chicks eh? Wattya gonna do? :D -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:08, 10 Jun

Ahem... Mr Chris, this does not mean that I did not notice that 'kitchen' comment. Always remember, kitchens are filled with utensils that can easily be transformed into weapons O_O --^Dame 16:16, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Ooooh, Mr. Chris! That sounds so much nicer than what women usually call me. And it wouldn't be the first time I was stabbed. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:24, 10 Jun

Yes, Orian told me about that. XD --^Dame 16:27, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Yes but Chris (Mr Chris) how many times have you been castrated with an ice cream scoop? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:30 10 June 2009

Twice. The first one didn't take. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:32, 10 Jun

Hitler! Has only got one ball! ect. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:38 10 June 2009

Award

Rabbi Techno would like to honour you with the coveted

BLUE SCROTUM AWARD
Which is given to those who have demonstrated remarkably excellent judgement,
impeccable good taste and faultless, all-encompassing wisdom
(by doing something like voting for ME to win WotM).
Well done and thankyou, from Rabbi Techno.

---

Thank you

I guess this pales in comparison to a Blue Scrotum, but...

YOU ARE LOVED! And in appreciation for your donation to The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association I am sending a sign of my personal love for you — your very own polyester prayer handkerchief, suitable for wiping the tears of joyous revelation. ~ B. G.

Delivered by his personal altar boy. --T. (talk) 13:49, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Where there is a colourful scrotum, Billy Graham can't be far behind... Good work Mr. Lyons! :D --^Dame 13:54, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

You're too kind.  :) As a rather sad photo-GIMPer, I have to say I am a fan of your work. Just warning you that I may come knocking one of these days with a request.  :) I think it's great that you're aspiring to write though, and perhaps I can lend a paragraph or some new perspective to one of your future projects. --T. (talk) 10:55, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

As I too am a fan of your work it would be a pleasure both to answer a request and to get any future writing assistance :D --^Dame 11:00, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Preemptive Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

(Though it hasn’t actually been featured yet.)

—Guildy

---

On babies, chopped babies and writer's block

I don't know if it's a common phenomenon or not, but the second I gave that review a peek, I started feeling like my brain started hitting nothing but blank white space when I was trying to come up with something more for the article, especially with an attempt for something more "over the top". Somehow, getting a formal feedback form filled in left me with nothing left inspirationwise to work with.

Maybe it's just me, but I joined this site because I can write for myself and maybe get a few laughs out of it while I'm at it. So it seems a little odd that everyone seems to be fussing over these featured articles. Enough so that a guy I don't really know was linking me to some voting page or another time and time again on my talk page. Which doesn't make sense to me. Can't a girl just write for the fun of writing, even if the article does seem a little mediocre on standards she isn't familiar with yet?

To return to the pictures, I have seen a deck of cards at sale at various bookstores but never brought myself to purchasing it, with "correct" and "incorrect" ways of holding and handling babies on them done in a simple black-and-white cartooney way. Maybe something like that would be applicable. There isn't even a need for photorealism, as long as the humour in itself is conveyed. Let me know if you've got ideas brewing. I'm not going to be going too far, except maybe next week, being all holiday-ey and whatnot, so road trips to various non-internet-riddled locations might occur. Thankfully, having grandparents fussing over a baby means I can sleep. *wink* Little Pink Sock 09:31, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Your writing is very good, I think the review was just trying to guide you towards the target audience around here. I suppose the fuss over featured articles is that it increases the size of said target audience. And the vote page the guy was linking to was probably VFH, which I would also recommend, cause it lets you see what the rest of the people round here are up to writing-wise, might be good for inspiration, and also voting is good cause it ensures there are quality features on the main page. But the most important thing is that you write.

I on the other hand, chop. I want to write and hopefully will soon but for now I chop. And at present I believe you wish for chopped babies. I think I know what you mean with the cartooney baby holding guide, I don't really draw but I may be able to figure something out. I'll work on it during the week and let you know what I come up with. On a side note, the first picture you have at the moment of the baby flipping you off could possibly be replaced by something like this.

Anyway, enjoy the holiday and subsequent sleeping opportunities and more importantly welcome to Uncyclopedia! XD --^Dame 10:42, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately, the holiday starts only when my hubby returns from abroad, so I've got a week with that rascal to spend trying to not go insane. Anyways, I think that could very well work as a picture for the article. I need to give it a go when I get back from a mad running of errands, though. My internet use is limited to when A) The baby's asleep, B) I'm at home by the desktop and C) when I have completed everything on my daily to do list, which is a mile long. Hubby being away on business often, I'm stuck with running the home myself. Little Pink Sock 11:17, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

As long as you don't know you're going crazy... --^Dame 15:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

I Will Possess Your Vote

Hi Sonje. I apologize that there's no clever template this time around. I just wanted to thank you for voting for UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log before it gets dropped from VFH...

Cheers. --T. (talk) 15:32, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I, like, appreciate your support, or something.

—Guildy

---

Sad, sad, request

I feel so feeble and pathetic having to ask other people to make my images. so, I want a movie cover for Every Jim Carrey Film Ever Made, do you think you can do that? Staircase CUN^t 00:56, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Er... this tactic of yours... of saying how depressed this request is making you... it's not a great strategic move on your part. You should be shameless like Orian, I like making pics after all. More importantly, I think I can make this pic of which you speak. But I owe LPS a chopped baby, so I'll do it as soon as I finish that. --^Dame 13:36, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Sounds good. Staircase CUN^t 18:40, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry it took so long. --^Dame 02:45, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Argh, I made it say 'movie' instead of 'film'. I'll fix it tomorrow, it's a minor edit. But I'm too sleepy now. --^Dame 02:58, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Fixed. Lemme know if you want any changes. --^Dame 03:06, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Shameless request

I'm proud of my inadequecies. Could you take the "heartbeat" text from this picture and put it in this one. additionally could you also add the nombers 2012, in a sort of red "spray paint" font to the end? It's for this article I'm working on. What do you think of it by the way?    Orian57    Talk   04:26 15 June 2009

Your shamelessness is what made me see to your request firs and also cause it was the easiest. As for the article, I love it, lemme know when it's done and I will nom the shit out of it. --^Dame 13:32, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Looks great! was sort of really needing it to be 2012, though... And sure thing I'm hoping I'll finish it later.    Orian57    Talk   14:33 15 June 2009

Argh! Sorry. Fixed it. --^Dame 14:41, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Yay thanks a lot, once more!    Orian57    Talk   14:42 15 June 2009

Thanks

I feel so much better for my award: I'd like to thank (insert name here), my parents and God. I don't suppose you happen to know if there are any images of Women in Burqas on a rollercoaster? My article on the magical world of Talibanland seems a little empty without one.--Sog1970 18:02, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

It's a pleasure, keep up the good work. About these Burqas... I could try to make such a pic for you. I've got a few pending image requests but I'll try and do something in the next day or two. --^Dame 10:57, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Something like this? I can fix it up to match the article more later. --^Dame 16:48, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

That's perfect. Thank you. Now all I have to do is make the prose as good as the pick--Sog1970 13:26, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks thank tank (again-again!)

"Joshy, what have I told you about manners?" Sorry Mummy... I have to thank you all again because you voted my story THE BEST article of May and that means that someone who wanted to hire a space comedian will know that I'm funny and give me money so that I can buy toys!

   Orian57    Talk   00:31 16 June 2009

UnScripts:Heartbeat 2012

Whatdya think to the finished product? As good as you hoped?    Orian57    Talk   05:24 16 June 2009

I love it! Is someone still peeing on it or can I nom nom? --^Dame 13:47, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

It is on the pee queue, but I personally don't think I could improve on it much anyway. Have at it.    Orian57    Talk   13:53 16 June 2009

Done ^_^ --^Dame 14:42, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks! :D    Orian57    Talk   14:51 16 June 2009

very late thanks

hey sonje, thanks again for the dead man's hand image. i know you made it a while ago, but i finally got around to writing a solid article to place around it: it's here. i think it's the perfect way to finish it off! thatnks one more time! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:32, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

It's a pleasure. That pic was my very first edit on Uncyclopedia so I'm glad you have found a way to use it at last. Let me know if you have any other amusing pic requests, I'd be happy to oblige ^_^ Also, the article is hilarious so can I nom it or are you still awaiting some PEE? --^Dame 09:33, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

i put it up for pee, i'd like to get some feedback so i can be sure it's in the best possible shape if it ever were to make the front page. thanks, though, and i'll be sure to come up with some more images i need! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 12:25, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Template spam

The Narrator Would like to thank you all... For voting on his rendition of Snow White. "It’s a fine story. Has everything a child needs to learn about the universe and it’s capricious, unfair ways."

   Orian57    Talk   16:09 17 June 2009

Thank you spam

Hi Sonje. Thanks for the back pat on WotM. :) --T. (talk) 15:49, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I hope to provide a less ectoplasmic back pat next month ^_^ --^Dame 15:52, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I'd better keep writing then. It looks like Billy G has made it over the hump, but my Cajek song will probably crash and burn very soon.  :) --T. (talk) 16:07, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Alas, some of the peasants do not appreciate the more refined forms of comedy. I'm sure you'll win them over with your Untunes eventually. I do however think that the current system is hindering your success. Can't we get some of those fancy built-in media players like Wikipedia has? --^Dame 16:19, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I can't complain really; 2 out of 4 of the songs I've uploaded have been featured. As for a media player, I haven't really looked at what Wikpedia has, but I will. If it's not too difficult to spork over, I'll do it. Otherwise I'll see if Spang can help, if he's not too busy. --T. (talk) 16:43, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

How Does One...

...go about getting those cool South Park-esque self portrait things? I've always wanted one, and noticed you now have one, and I don't know where one gets one. If you could tell me, that would be pretty cool. Or something. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:08, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

You use this. And once you've made it, Print Screen cause it doesn't have a save option, and then crop the picture to your satisfaction ^_^ --^Dame 15:16, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. I can't seem to get the great big amount of white space on the right to go away, though:

Is there anything you can do about that? And, if so, could you do it for me, please? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:10, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

It got all warped when I saved it over your version so have that one qvfd'd and use this one instead. --^Dame 16:45, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:53, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Actually, they both seem fine now, dammit. Anyway, no problem ^_^ --^Dame 16:58, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Well...thanks again! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Vista has a convy "Snipping tool" under the Accessories menu, that allows you to crop the pic straight from the screen, too. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:47, 19 Jun

Thanks Cousin Luvvy <3 I only have XP at work so I used good 'ol Picture Manager at the time. My talkpage seems to been taken over by giant Guildys now. I think they are watching me O_o --^Dame 17:57, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm a little tired right now, with little or no idea what it was I was up to. Probably has something with household chores to do, though. I'm not really good at choppin', but I occasionally have given it a go. Like with that .gif heart in my sig. Mr Luvvy will be here 12 hours from now, so I doubt I'll get much rest. :D -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 18:17, 19 Jun

Well I've decided to sleep all weekend, which is gonna make people mad at me cause I owe them chops. Your heart is luvvly cousin Luvvy, if you ever need a more intricate chop I'd be happy to oblige. Anyway, hope you (and Mr. Luvvy) have a good weekend. ^_^ --^Dame 23:16, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I'll have a really good week with him if I can have my will ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:29, 19 Jun

Then you shall have to force him, regardless of the fact that force is a crime. --^Dame 23:47, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I should have forced him to not go to bed right after he got off the plane. He's jetlagged, he caused me to get "jetlagged" and now we're awake in the middle of the night because we can't sleep :/ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:44, 20 Jun

Sounds pretty rough (in the unpleasant sense of the word). Ah the horror of jetlag, I feel your pain, I'm usually a walking corpse when I visit home. I'm from South Africa but I live in Scotland so holidays are a nightmare. --^Dame 07:17, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

And then the bugger woke up before me, didn't find anything to eat in my kitchen and now I've stuffed him with bacon and eggsies and he's all happy... ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:53, 21 Jun

Silly boys. So easy to please. --^Dame 10:30, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

That's sexist :P Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:58 June 21 '09

Pish! It's a well known secret that a way to a man's heart goes through his 3rd and 4th rib. Or through his tummy with yumsy calorie rich meals. Whichever means leads to a better end from your point of view... I love being woken up by someone cuddly. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:35, 21 Jun

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce

Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens By Gerrycheevers This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! By: Saberwolf116 Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! By: Gerrycheevers Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC By Sockpuppet of an unregistered user People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.

Check out these pages! Release personal details here. Overractions! Slander! Hot Republican Chicks with Guns! Death To Our Enemies, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Illogicopedia. From our logs: 14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park ‎(The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!) 15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎(Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it) 12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly) Biopic of the Week Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her six featured images speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety. This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism. Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week #12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:29, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Moar Feature Thankies

Writers, of all kinds, would like to thank you! For voting for the article on Writing to become featured. They wrote this template just for you, please apreciate the effort - it is a work of art after all!

   Orian57    Talk   12:59 22 June 2009

You sure are on a roll this month Mr. Orian. Well done! ^_^. --^Dame 13:08, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

I am yeah, thanks, I even have a half finished Joshy article I'll finish off tommorow (will have to be his last though, even I can tell when a joke has run its course). :D now good night.    Orian57    Talk   13:12 22 June 2009

Kewl, lemme know if you need illustrations for Joshy :) --^Dame 13:16, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Sonje!

I just saw for the first time that you're a musician! I was wondering: what kind of stuff do you do? Do you have any recordings? pillow talk 21:16, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I've got some rough demos on myspace. Are you a musician too then? I must say your interpretations of pop lyrics are truly awe inspiring, I haven't laughed that hard since Eugene fell off his horse. --^Dame 22:07, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I play some music. I've got a few UnTunes on the site, and my more serious stuff is here. I've never done any recording with a full band, but I'm hoping that will happen within a year, now that I'm actually in a band that's actually any good. I'll listen to your demos when I get to a computer with speakers. Glad you liked the abridged pop songs article :) pillow talk 22:18, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Argh, full bands, we've been having bassist issues. It is the bane of my existence. I just listened to some of your stuff. I really like the 'Caffeine' one. I'll check out the Untunes shortly. Gimme a shout if you are ever up for an Untunes colab or something ^_^ --^Dame 22:27, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Ah, that's a shame, I've had bassist issues before. But now our bassist is sort of, like, our main songwriter, so he's pretty solid. I think an UnTunes collab would be a completely fantastic idea. It's cool that you like 'Caffeine' - that's one of the first songs I ever wrote, back in like 1999. pillow talk 23:11, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

I wish I'd been older in 1999. it looks like it was a good year.    Orian57    Talk   01:52 23 June 2009

The 90s were awesome. Especially musically. Btw, great work on the latest Untune on VFH Hyporbole! I shall never be able to look at a duck in the same way again. --^Dame 18:38, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Na, I wouldn't say that.. The 90s is when real Metal died.. Apocalypse, if you ask a metalhead.. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 19:08 June 23 '09

OMG! Code flood! Dude, I hate your sig! Anyway, I prefer the grungy 90s rock to metal any day. --^Dame 21:18, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

\m/ I prefer the mid 80s thrash and late 90s death to any thing, any day.. Any music other than metal just sucks (except for classical music and symphonies, or so would a metalhead tell you) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:40 June 23 '09

The 90's has great metal. --Docile hippopotamus 21:56, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

So I'm just now listening to Around Zero. Very cool stuff. I've always had a soft spot for moody, gritty rock. You've got a great voice, too! Shed Some Skin sounds fantastic. And I'm definitely a fan of almost all your influences. Imogen Heap! Yay! I spent a good seven hours unsuccessfully trying to ape her style and do an autotune trio of myself... pillow talk 04:29, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

I too am rather enjoying it, should have had a listen ages ago but I forgot. Anyway I've just had a thought, you know how you require a bassisist? Well how about you change your band's name to "B Arse Squireist?" -- wait, wait there's method in my mental unstability, you see it's an anagram for "require bassist", so it gives you both a ligitimate reason to use the word "squire" quite alot and it advertises the plight. Also has horrible degrading text speak meaning you'll appeal to chaves and scum. Also Scotland! Yay! We're practically related. Also Shed some Skin is awsome! :D    Orian57    Talk   06:56 28 June 2009

Thanks, I'm glad you both liked it. We had another mini recording session this weekend so we recorded 3 new songs. Just rough acoustic stuff but one is at least a bit more cheerful. And I've also attempted the whole autotune choir thing but nae luck so far :P And thanks for the name proposal Orian but I'm already fending off enough neds to find a decent bassist. --^Dame 15:27, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Polite request

Hi sonje! Make an image for me </rant> tl;dw Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 15:04 June 23 '09

Mkay Mooshy, I'll have a look and see if I can come up with something. --^Dame 18:34, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I'd prefer a cover for the book. Alibaba, the cave (hangar), and some badass bikers with bandannas. That would be good, I guess. And if you come up with a better idea, tell me :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 19:04 June 23 '09

K, I'll give that a go when I have time. Been a bit busy lately so you'll have to be a little patient. Did I mention I hate your sig? --^Dame 21:36, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Will this work? --^Dame 14:08, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Hello

I'm trying to learn how to photoshop and I have a question. In this picture [3] duty is turned into beauty. Is there a simple way to change the text of a nonstandard font, or is mad skill required? Ellemonopy 18:16, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I wouldn't say mad skill is required. It would depend on the text you are trying to replicate. I would look for a matching font to download and then cover up the original text and replace it with the new text using the downloaded font and then edit it as required. Some pre-made fonts are done really well so they don't require much editing. But if you can't find the font you are looking for then some mad skill is required. What exactly do you want to chop? Maybe I can help? --^Dame 18:33, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I was going to try to make a picture for my article on France France Revolution (not yet on uncyc (also, not a real game)). So far I found these 3 pictures that would be a good starting point, with the text changed and some pictures that vaguely relate to the French Revolution: [4], [5], and [6]

Well, apparently the fort used for DDR is called Serpentine bold. I found a free version here. It is just the basic font though so you will have to edit it to give it texture. The easiest one to mimic will be the Ultramix cover art because it is pretty basic. It will all depend on how detailed you want to get with the pic. I could give you a step by step guide of how to edit the font if you're in this for educational purposes or I could add it for you when you're done with the pic if you wanna do a kind of colab. --^Dame 10:02, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I suppose the step by step guide would be preferable if it's not a problem for you. I'm planning on contributing lots of pics to uncyc once I get this photoshop thing completely figured out. Ellemonopy 16:02, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

In that case it won't be a problem at all. Ok, how bout this. Upload what you've done so far, then I'll give you tips on how to improve it. The text should be the last thing you add. Before we continue... How much of a photoshop noob are you? I take it you understand the program fairly well. --^Dame 16:36, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm kind of a dumb

See? It's not exact, but when I see your sig, it's all I can think about. And now I'm thirsty. Jerk.

But I've always wondered how to pronounce your username. I'm crap at pronouncing names and whatnot. Right now, in my head, you are Sone-yeh. So, how far off base am I? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:52, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Really, I'm not nearly sofisticated, I went for son-gee.    Orian57    Talk   20:20 23 June 2009

Like, it rhymes with spongy? Interesting.... In fact, you may even be right. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:22, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Lol. Actually it is pronounced almost like Sonya. Like in Mortal Combat or the Underworld movies. The 'j' is soft. Blame my mother. Also, I resent being associated with sponge O_o --^Dame 21:26, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

So, I was closer! Ha! Suck it Orian!............. Bad choice of words. But sponges are awesome. Like at school, they tell you to be a sponge, and soak all that information in. Delicious. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:29, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

That would depend entirely on the information at hand. Round here there are all kinds of undesirables to absorb. --^Dame 21:35, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey, how do you pronounce my name? I dont think the English pronouncation is anywhere near the original Egyptian one.. So how do you pronounce it? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:43 June 23 '09

Honestly? If I were to say it, I guess it would be Mah-Moosh-ah. But generally I just think of you as the guy with the rotating pepsi logo. Is that wrong of me? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 22:36, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Ahem.. Its the Ægyptüsian flag. Or not? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:40 June 24 '09

I dunno Moosh, it does have a very pepsi-esque quality to it... --^Dame 09:22, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Seriously?! You mean you didnt realise that its a flag? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:00 June 24 '09

No, we are saying your flag looks like a Pepsi logo. --^Dame 10:06, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

yeah, I live in pepsiland :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:19 June 24 '09

I didn't realise it's not a pepsi logo until sometime last week, Moosh. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:20, 30 Jun

It is kind of sadistic that the Egyptian flag looks like a Pepsi logo don't you think. I mean, it is a desert, do they really need to be reminded how thirsty they are all the time? Shame Moosh, when will the persecution of your people end!?! --^Dame 11:25, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Also Joshy

Here. Whaddaya think?    Orian57    Talk   20:20 23 June 2009

Love the new Joshy Orian. Very cute. I have no idea what LazyTown is but I giggled all the same. Made a few typo fixes, hope you don't mind. Is it still being PEEd on? --^Dame 09:04, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I did get a mini pee, and they scored it at 40, which is encouraging. And as for what it actually is, LazyTown is just a kids show that I happen to quite like, it's originally from iceland but it's kind of global now. And thanks for correcting typos and stuff, that's always helpful. :)    Orian57    Talk   13:42 24 June 2009

Also I've just made a few revisions to it and I think it's probably as good as it's gonna get. If you want you could nom it, I mean if that's what you were hinting at above... Although people might talk if you keep nomming my stuff. Remember what I said, what we do is secret. shh!    Orian57    Talk   22:55 24 June 2009

Oh gawd! People are gonna think I've made a man outta you O_o Anyway, VFH is a bit crowded at the moment. Best wait a bit anyway. --^Dame 12:45, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

SHHH! Can't you just stay my dirty little secret, next they'll have it in the paper that I'm some horrible muff-diving straight-boy - and I'm not! I'm not. It's just you. Look like a man or something. And yeah that seems fair! :)    Orian57    Talk   18:56 25 June 2009

Oh hell no! Don’t go trying to turn me into a gay dude to cover your dirty secrets just because I am penisly disadvantaged. Your like a frigging Jehovah’s Witness of gayness! A Gayhova’s Witness! --^Dame 14:49, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Well. Yes. I have the correct sexuality and women should just die. I think that seems fair. /me grabs Sonje's ass and feels guilty. horribly, horribly guilty    Orian57    Talk   14:57 26 June 2009

FU

on behaf of the FU gradjewating class of 2009 we the stewdents of the Fackulty of Agrickulchur awnors program wish to xpres our sinsear appreesheashun for yer suporting a desent edjewcashun for peepul like us hoo mite haf utherwize ended up in jail for growin pot or sumthin which we wood of like only did just for medical use cuz we herd that Flin Flon, Manitoba needed help cuz they coodnt keep up with deman anymor ~ Ricky, Bubbles & Julian

Another impressive conquest, nicely done Mr. Lyons. --^Dame 09:01, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, Sonje.  :) --T. (talk) 11:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Celebrating my 1000th game namespace edit!!!!

Flutter has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 23:17, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

It's been two weeks now

OK, I am trying to be nice, and guess what? There is no reply such as "OK, I'll do it, but it will take ages" or something like that. I requested three images to be made and two weeks later, the requests other people made (including myself) hadn't been done! So, I got one question: Why is it taking so long now? Please, I have waited two weeks for my photos, and the rest of the people you owe them images with had waited for a month now. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill | 09:07, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Whoa, what an attitude, kid. Sonje's doing photochops voluntarily in her spare time, and you are in no position to demand anything. The last thing you want is to have your spare time start feeling like work. Especially unpaid such. So go away, think about what you did wrong and get back here and humbly rephrase that in a means that doesn't come off as demanding or condescending. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:45, 27 Jun

O, Sonje, thou most beautiful creature God hath created, thou who art pretty as the moonlight, calm as the Pacific Ocean, shalt I compare thee to a flower? No? Ok. Now would you please do the 'chop I requested. Pleeeeease? :) (is that what you meant by rephrase, luvvy? ^_^ ) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:31 June 27 '09

Sonje has been a bit less active lately, it seems. I'm sure she has her reasons. Just try to be patient (and don't imply she owes it to people) and I'm sure things'll work themselves out. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:47, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Joe, dude, I am a very patient person, and I really hate drama. But this is the last straw. I don't owe anyone images. As my dear cousin Luvvy pointed out I do it in my spare time voluntarily and because I enjoy doing it. You have been really rude several times at RadicalX's Corner and I only agreed to make you a pic because I thought you had changed your ways. Evidently this is not the case. I have told you before, I, (nor anyone on this site) am not your slave. So I suggest you take your requests elsewhere because I will not be chopping anything for you, ever.

Mooshy, you don't need to suck up, I'm happy to help. I'll try and finish your pic by the end of the weekend, I've been a bit busy IRL with band stuff. --^Dame 12:56, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I was just joking.. And thanks a lot :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:16 June 27 '09

The hell with this. Sonje, feel free to remove his requests from the queue if you want - I'm still on a break, but will make a quick exception to sort this obnoxious behaviour out. --UU - natter 20:05, Jun 27

Thanks UU, hope you have a good break but come back soon! --^Dame 23:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Better yet...

...just give Joe9320 a link to the gimp and tell him to do it his own damn self. Also, this isn't my talkpage. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:15, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Ah, Modus, you ALWAYS have the most cunning plans to resolve conflict. Also, my talkpage is your talkpage. Make yourself comfortable and feel free to raid the fridge. --^Dame 23:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

All that's in there is a box of baking soda from the 70's and some broccoli, also from the 70's. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:12, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

That's vintage broccoli Modus, possibly even has hallucinogenic qualities by now... --^Dame 14:11, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Sog

Hi Sonje..I left a message on Sog's page about a WOTM nom for him in July. Do you want to do the honour ? I will second the motion..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 23:31, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Hi Rom, I saw that, I was just about to reply to your post there. I've been planning to do so anyway, the guy has been producing some excellent material. I reckon we may not be the only ones contemplating the nom though. But thanks for letting me have the honour :) --^Dame 23:44, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

I was going to nom him, too O_O Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:45 June 28 '09

First come first serve I suppose. Gentlemen, start your engines...--^Dame 14:13, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

If you liked Heartbeat 2012 then you'll love...

This! Probably. Do you?    Orian57    Talk   11:33 28 June 2009

I do love it. And I would nom it. If you promise not to attempt to emasculate me again O_o --^Dame 15:02, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Emasculate you?! You mean you have something to emasculise? And I'm pretty please with it myself, so yeah, feel free to take whatever action you deem nescessary. ;)    Orian57    Talk   16:14 29 June 2009

No, have no somethings to speak of. But that didn't stop you last time. I still have nightmares. --^Dame 16:17, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

I must have been really high.    Orian57    Talk   16:35 29 June 2009

Image Request

evil enough?

I heard you were good at making images, so I'm here to ask to make a picure of Stewie Griffin with the body of an evil ruler or knight for the article Stewie Griffin.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

If you want an actual knight like with a horse and stuff let me know. I don't know if this one will work. --^Dame 11:14, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

That image looks evil enough, Thanks---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 02:30, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Glad you like it. Good luck with the article. --^Dame 12:49, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

June 25th, 2009 • Issue 53 • The newspaper that steals other newspapers' lunch money

Users Campaign to Delete Vast Portions of Uncyclopedia By Gerrycheevers Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions. First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project. Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again By Gerrycheevers The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris. The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!"

Check out these pages! Ledddy calls for more reminiscence The counting goes horribly, horribly wrong THIS JUST IN THIS JUST OUT From our logs: 01:41, 24 June 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 66.109.20.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Dex is all like BAN HIM and I'm like OKAY DEX) 00:18, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Do you see my penis? Here, I'll pull it out! LOOK AT IT DANGLE, FAGGOT!) 00:17, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) ‎ (wrng "a"gn) 00:16, 21 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (NO MORE MR. NICEGUY) Biopic of the Week "How has the UnSignpost never run a biopic on So So?", you might ask. "I mean, his userpage is somewhere between confusing and disturbing, but the guy's a comedic genius! His writings are classic!", you might continue. You might even mention that he was nommed for WotM for about half a year in 2007 before finally winning the thing. Well, you might be interested in reading this week's UnSignpost, and then you might look into shutting up. Old School FA of the Week The Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice is the longest possible order you could order at Starbucks. It was ordered only once (in the late 1990's), and it singlehandedly destroyed the economy of South America. It is now illegal in both American Continents, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Antarctica. In fact, it's now illegal everywhere save for a select few unclaimed square inches in the Southern Pacific Ocean and Belgium (but nobody gives a crap about Belgium.) The United Nations is working on this problem even as you read this.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   15:34 30 June 2009

This is terrible fun!    Orian57    Talk   15:34 30 June 2009

Thanx, Since when are you the paper boy? --^Dame 15:35, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Since the others broke.    Orian57    Talk   15:37 30 June 2009

Suggestion to ignore

Since you seem to be under some pressure to produce a whole article rather than just brilliant images, I had an idea that I'm in no way competent to produce having no photoshop skills. Out-takes from the bayeux tapestry (or bayeux bloopers) or some such. The whole thing is easily available on-line , you could wave your magic wand over a few scenes and change history. Why were they fighting anyway? Dispute over girl friend? Gay spat? What did they do while they were still buddies in Normandy? Monster-truck racing, I suspect. Four or five images and you wouldn't have to come up with much commentary. Then people can stop whinging. Just an idea--Sog1970 18:15, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah! I have no idea what you're talking about but I'd love to see a Sonje article.    Orian57    Talk   18:18 30 June 2009

Thanks Sog, I will definitely look into that. I have been mulling over a few ideas for articles and I will eventually write one. My time is just a bit limited at present. I've had to write like 6 songs in the past week so I basically just chop cause I'm lazy. But I will check out this tapestry thing and I assure you I will produce an article at some point, though I cannot vouch for the quality. --^Dame 18:29, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Look forward to it. Just thought the tapestry is well known and probably easy to edit (as if I'd know). BTW thanks for voting for Mrs God - lots of people clearly dislike her, which makes me very happy--Sog1970 18:51, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

If you nee help with writing, or even just a friendly "review" if you get any ideas, you can always drop me a note. And cousin, were you so inclined that you don't hang out in irc, there's always that email thingie off-site for talking shite about people behind their backs exchange of recipes/photochop hints... ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 07:26, 1 Jul

Thanks for the support guise ^_^ And perhaps I shall drop by IRC sometime cousin Luvvy, though I warn you... my recipes can be fatal. --^Dame 12:48, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Ta!

I, Orian57, extend my grattitude for (of?) your vote on WotM! No but seriously, guys. Thanks, it means something to me, more than it should probably.

Also about nomming LazyTown... I think now might be the most strategic because IP's and Newbies will see that the WotM wrote it and vote for without even reading it because tehy'll make assumptions. /sniggers Also thanks for being around, you're definitly one of the best new users, certainly the best photoshopper we currently have. so yeah, Have Fun!    Orian57    Talk   11:43 1 July 2009

Congrats, you really deserve this one. And thanks :D Also, I'm kinda torn, I don't know if I prefer Trapped at Sea or LazyTown. I'll give them another read and pick one. --^Dame 12:47, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Oh Trapped at Sea is leauges ahead of LazyTown. I suspect it'd go over much better and I can't self nom it.    Orian57    Talk   12:49 1 July 2009

Nommed :D It's really funny, I'm sure it'll do well. --^Dame 13:09, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey thanks! :D    Orian57    Talk   13:29 1 July 2009