User talk:Lost Labyrinth/Archive 4
Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost[edit source]
Predictably (and because let's face it, nothing else is happening on the site), the admin election takes the lead story. For those of you living under a rock and those that are just plain slow, Kip the Dip is leading the race by far (+19) and should win be a few lengths, this is definitely because of how hard his jockey is riding him. Cat the Colourful is trailing at second with +13, followed by Leverage at +8 and Banzaikitten at +6. Other notable mentions include Aleister, Mr-ex777, Lost Labyrinth Mattsnow and DungeonSiegeAddict510 who have all succeeded in avoiding the highly embarrassing score of getting +1 or less. Feel free to message the losers with negative scores and point and laugh a lot hahaha.
It shuld be no surprise that the page has been mercilessly trolled with other complete joke nominations including The Chief of AIDS and The Zombie of AIDS.
If you haven't been to the forum yet to cast your vote, do it today! Uncyclopedia admin elections: Twice the drama, half the fat!------------
VFH smells
By Frosty
This story is nothing short of a PSA, circle-jerking with traces of vote whoring in as well. If you are reading this, you should vote on VFH. VFH voting takes very effort and makes it, at the very least appear, that we have active users. So get down there some time today and vote on all the articles. Some might say you need to actually read them first, well this is (probably) a good idea, but do bear in mind that we don't actually know if you've read it or not. And unlike, when you didn't read Hamlet in your 9th grade English class there is not going to be a surprise test on the matter.[citation needed]
You should also go vote on Frosty's article(s) currently on VFH, it's the least you could do after he SINGLE HANDEDLY wrote this terrible newspaper for you. If you don't, the length of his e-penis will decrease considerably all because he didn't get another feature on a website with a userbase smaller than an Eastern Siberian village.
Biopic This week's biopic is the user named TheRealSexyFluttershy, which just goes to show how desperate we are for biopics that we are willing to write about literally anyone who shows a vague interest or presence in the site. TheRealSexyFluttershy can be found on The Internet Relay Chats discussing things that have relevance to ponies and poopdick on a disturbingly regular basis. However, he does occasionally make the odd presence on the Wiki and even more occasionally he makes useful edits to some page or another.
If you appreciate him go to his talk page and thank him for his noble contributions in the field of poopdick, if you don't appreciate him please feel free to spam his page with poopdick (although he may start furiously masturbating).
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week You Are Gay (14/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Frosty thinks all the other administrators are highly useless. Yeah, sorry guys but you are.
Chat Quote [21:19] <sleeptyper> RAHB dislikes niggers
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 
23:40, 1 August 2014 (UTC)
Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit source]
Not that much over a year ago, TKF left us with the classic "I'm quitting forever in a highly obnoxious and auto-fellating manor". For about 66 seconds Uncyclopedians everywhere were sad, we all fapped in sadness at the loss of our beloved TKF and things were never going to be quite the same again. Then we all thought to ourselves "good riddance, I hope he contracts Anthrax and dies."
No surprise, but he has come back under the highly illusive nickname "Argylesocks" which is obviously not somebodies sockpuppet because it contains the word socks in it. I mean, if you were a sockpuppet would you give it away so easily? Flawless logic! He can also be found on IRC chatting casually under the "dcik", showing his support for "The Dyslexia Support Foundation".
Head over to his user page and talk page to find out details about his awesome "Uncyclopedia Retrospect project" which is probably some grand social experiment documenting the life and times of hopeless losers on the internet, but hey it SOUNDED COOL.------------
Forum dramaz
By Frosty
Uncyclopedia has recently had an infestation. An infestation of drama. Drama is bad mmkay? Aside from the obvious fact users get banned, users quit and people proceed to hate each other to the point where you would rub hot English Mustard into their prolapsed anus if you ever saw them in the street, drama distracts you from writing. As does reading the UnSignpost. But reading the UnSignpost is more constructive as the constant not so subliminal messaging telling you to write articles is plastered everywhere. WRITE ARTICLES.
But drama can be entertaining when coupled with cheap scotch and buttered popcorn to the humble obverser. But mainly it's bad, so stop it. No matter how funny you think your drama mongering will never compete with Asperger's Syndrome is no laughing matter... ...and the sequel rest of the trilogy.
Biopic
This week's biopic is Chaoarren, which if you haven't meet him yet... You suck basically. He can be found on IRC, occasionally editing the Wiki and frequently reporting established users to Ban patrol because "they made fun of him in his pink skirt" or "he smells funny". Chaoarren has also done the highly laughable feat of running dead last in the most vote rigged admin election in history, where losers like Kip the Dip and Colin actually stand a chance of winning losing.
He's also a noob that hasn't buggered off yet. I wish more of them were like you Chaoarren... I really do...
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week What's-his-name off that thing (12/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Confucius say "Shut the fuck up and edit an article".
Chat Quote [20:17] <James_T> My dick is large
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) 
~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:19 (UTC)
More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost![edit source]
It was dark times being without Uncyclopedia. Maybe if I got out of the dark and went outside once in while it would be less dark. But you know, lazy me.
I plan to visit Uncyclopedia and do my 'thang (wink wink) at least once a week. But I hold no promises because you can't trust me. I'm a hoe and 3!OH!3 told you to NOT TRUST HOES.
However, I'm sure you guys found out why I was absent from the site for a good 200 years 4+ months and it was because my old laptop KOed and I finally got a new one for school.
So that means I won't be uploading images of Madiq. (pictured)...
I missed you, just kidding, but really. However, I didn't forget you, maybe sometimes,
Is this a haiku or something? My grammar sucks too.------------
New admins for you!
By Sir Peasewhizz
Beware everyone, as a result of this there is now an additional 8 new sysops/administrators. They all expect BJS and prizes.
Kip the Dip
Leverage
Supergeeky1
Banzaikitten
Mr-ex777
Colin "All your base" Heaney
Lost Labyrinth
Cat the Colourful
They expect sacrifices. So chop, chop. Make haste.
Biopic This weeks biopic is on someone who doesn't read Uncyclopedia (but they will because we will make them through laughter har har). Her name is Elizabeth and she's from Australia. She showed Sir Peasewhizz her tits...
They were nice. And that is it for today's Biopic. What the fuck did you expect? A fucking biography on the Borgia family?
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnBooks:Holmes On Homes (16/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News This just in: Don't hit your children.
Chat Quote
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:08 (UTC)
VFD[edit source]
Hi Lost Labyrinth! Are we now deleting articles with only two votes against them? Because normally there should be at least five delete's... Anton (talk) 14:13, 17 August 2014 (UTC)
- Initially I did wonder that myself. I looked through the latest VFD archive and found that there have been other deletions as a result of two against votes and no keeps, so like the noob admin that I am I just followed what I learned. For whatever it's worth the article was on VFD for 9 days before it was deleted. -- Lost Labyrinth
• (t) • (c) • (a) 14:19, 17 August 2014 (UTC)
- I would say 2 isn't enough - B@NZai k!tten
(Meow?) 16:42, 17 August 2014 (UTC)
- Personally, I don't disagree as +2 hardly represents a general consensus, despite only two users voting in 9 days. However, that's also an issue in itself. There have been numerous instances of articles having only +3 or +2 unanimous delete votes leading to the deletion of the article itself, that's pretty much what inspired my judgement in this case as well as the prolonged amount of time that the article was on VFD. Of course if there were any keep votes for this particular article, even if the delete vote count was still +2 or +3, then it would be a different story and I probably would have reacted differently. I'd like for nothing more than VFx to become more active in the sense that people are voting more but that's easier said than done. I do see where the concerns come from and I'll try to learn from them as I see fit.
- I would say 2 isn't enough - B@NZai k!tten
- Also for what it's worth, I don't see anything saying that a delete count has to be +5-ish (correct me if I'm wrong), just that there has to be a consensus for a deletion to take place. I don't know if an arbitrary value that decides whether something stays or goes is necessarily a good idea but I digress. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:36, 17 August 2014 (UTC)
- Also for what it's worth, I don't see anything saying that a delete count has to be +5-ish (correct me if I'm wrong), just that there has to be a consensus for a deletion to take place. I don't know if an arbitrary value that decides whether something stays or goes is necessarily a good idea but I digress. -- Lost Labyrinth
Block user[edit source]
79.79.143.90, replacing content on pages. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 19:12, 20 August 2014 (UTC)
- Banhammered for a week. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:13, 20 August 2014 (UTC)
- He was really annoying. Thanks. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 19:13, 20 August 2014 (UTC)
- MagicBus you should get to know about Ban Patrol. Check it yo Zzz
19:17, 20 August, 2014 (UTC)
- I didn't know where it was. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 19:18, 20 August 2014 (UTC)
- MagicBus you should get to know about Ban Patrol. Check it yo Zzz
- He was really annoying. Thanks. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 19:13, 20 August 2014 (UTC)
We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular![edit source]
By Banzaikitten
Welcome to another no longer sporadic edition of Unsignpost. Yes, the quantity of USP's being written has gone through the roof in the last few weeks and as such there is absolutely nothing to report- hence why people who have previously never written one of these are being roped in. One thing of note that has changed is I am now an admin and as such can block RAHB with impunity. God I love to block RAHB. There is nothing quite like the fizzy rush in the root of your penis and the dizzy thrill you get in your anus when blocking RAHB. I urge all who can to try it.
But anyway, I'm an admin now and I'm going to try and be the best admin that I can be, and judging from my recent attempt at changing the featured article, and all the admins reactions to my fuck up, the best admin I can be is one who does absolutely no administration work and just writes the occasional UnNews. Thanks for all your votes.------------
RAHBs Sexuality
By Banzaikitten
I know I've already spoken about RAHB but god help me I just can't stop. We all like voting and there is a very important vote occuring right now. You, yes you, could decide what sexuality RAHB is. Come the end of the vote RAHB sexuality will be decided for him and he will have to perform sexual acts of that nature for the rest of time. I'm hoping Ponies wins.
Shame on you By the curate
As the curate and the moral compass of this sinful land I must say that I have been appalled at the terrible news that my milkman brought to me. Although I don't remember his exact words, I'll try to reconstruct his speech from my memory, which - and for this I thank God - I am still honored to possess, despite my respectable age.
| “ | Now, I heard Mr What's-his-name talk to his son about something he heard in the neighbor's house, which I didn't hear, but Mr. What's-his-name-again described it so well that I am positive I can repeat it almost word-by-word. So his neighbor was giving his dog its food and commenced discussing our village's events with it, Mrs. Elizabeth soon became the topic of the conversation, and she, as you know, has a daughter... And a cat. Oh, what a fine Siamese cat! But it is of no relation to our current subject. So e man and his pet chattered on and on and, apparently, that dog ... oh, I mean the man (but, you know, from a distance you really can't tell the difference) uttered that "Mrs. Elizabeth's daughter once read an educational page on the Internet, which talked about homosexuality and how you cure it." And can you guess who the author its author was? Mr. Frosty, the man who lives next door to you! | ” |
These were the words of the milkman. However, this isn't all. I was not terrified when I heard this, because teaching fellow villagers to cure an abominable disease, which homosexuality certainly is, is a commendable act from Mr. Frosty's part, especially if it was done with no impulse other than to save good Christians.
Alas, I, we have been greatly deceived in our trust! Beware of the appearances, especially when they are found on the unholy Internet!
Ah, wicked men! I, your curate, willing to help your ungrateful souls, decided to try the so-praised advice of Mr. Frosty on myself and proceeded to accomplish it yesterday. I did everything he said to the very last phrase and - I swear by the Holy Grail - it didn't work!
Biopic
bakpak2hvy is a guy who frequently lurks on our IRC without saying anything. The other day he said something.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week F4 (13/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News
Chat Quote
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> so I wrote the USP kind of
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> its entirely about RAHB
[17:16] <RAHB> Awesome
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:11 (UTC)
Labbie, hello![edit source]
Hey, Lab! So, I ended up creating an account here and I don't know what I'm doing here besides lurking (so yeah, just like my contributions to TSW). Just thought I'd stop by and say hi and also check up on how you're doing (but mostly to announce my arrival). DanPin • talk • contribs 20:47, 22 August 2014 (UTC)
OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE![edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop throwing tomatoes you assholes! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
Okay, so what is really going on, you may say? 'I'm about to fucking tell you. Enjoy.
Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.
For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.
Okay? Okay.
Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir Peasewhizz
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Biopic For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.
When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.
| “ | no | ” |
Thank you! Give it up for auror!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Psychedelic Rosie and Her Coat of Many Colors (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News The USP will be delivered on Sundays now. (or around then)
Chat Quote
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Kippy is forever topical
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Just like the lotion he uses when he takes it to the hub.
[17:46] <Kippy> You don't even need to see all the nudity to take it to the hub.
SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:02, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day and some cash you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.
Piss on my review quests.
Olipro is gay.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.
Uncyclopedia App
By Anton199
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.
The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).
The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Biopic Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.
His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."
So when we asked MrC if he could tell us how to get, how to get to Sesame Street, he said "I don't know... bribe Cookie Monster with a cookie?"
There you have it, words of wisdom BOOI!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Shirley Phelps-Roper (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Hi. This is a lazy edition of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
[21:46] Star651 has quit (Quit: Page closed)
[21:46] SirPeasewhizz: NOOOOO
[21:46] SirPeasewhziz: BAE
Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming![edit source]
Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which mimics is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?
Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Ludwig Wittgenstein (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
[15:07] bakpak2hvy is edible.
[15:07] TheFakeazneD525 chews on bakpak2hvy
The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?
So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?
Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnNews:Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods (10/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
<ColinAYB> Actually his lips did sink ships
<ColinAYB> In the sense that he sucked e
Shabidoo's Celestial Objects informal competition...[edit source]
...is on this year. Last Year's was fun. I know you want to! --ShabiDOO 03:02, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
Can I have like Poopsmith powers on VFD?[edit source]
I want to archive the finished votes. --Nikau (talk) 11:41, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
- Okay. I've added you to the list over at UN:POOP. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:05, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
User:Everyotherusernamewastaken/Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck[edit source]
I don't know what an abandoned WIP is, therefore I don't know why you userpage'd my article, so could you please explain this? Also I was wondering if you could help in that IRC hasn't worked for me in a while. Cheers!--EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 17:39, 3 October 2014 (UTC)
- An abandoned WIP is basically an article in any of the content namespaces that is a work in progress but hasn't been edited for about a week. Normally these are either deleted or moved to the author's userspace so they may work on them at their own pace and then mainspace them once they're finished. The WIP template in any of your current userspaced articles doesn't apply in those circumstances, so you're free to remove those if you wish.
- As for IRC, are you having problems connecting with KiwiIRC? If so you can try qwebirc and see if that works any better. Don't hesitate to let me know if you're having further issues.
- By the way I've seen you around a bit and you've been writing some good stuff with a lot of potential. Keep up the good work! -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 22:24, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks for the help. I don't really know much about IRC, but the other version works.--EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 22:53, 5 October 2014 (UTC)
- Now neither channel works. What it does is refuses to send my messages, but I think it still notifies everyone when I go on, so I look like a bit of a tit. --EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 21:40, 20 October 2014 (UTC)
- I saw that you were in the channel via webchat. I've heard others have been having issues with it recently too which are resolved when they refresh the client. It's bizarre but probably worth a try. If you don't mind installing some extra software, I'd recommend using HexChat or, if you have Firefox, Chatzilla for IRC and point it to join #uncyclopedia on irc.freenode.net - these both work a lot better than qwebirc and KiwiIRC. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 21:46, 20 October 2014 (UTC)
- I saw that you were in the channel via webchat. I've heard others have been having issues with it recently too which are resolved when they refresh the client. It's bizarre but probably worth a try. If you don't mind installing some extra software, I'd recommend using HexChat or, if you have Firefox, Chatzilla for IRC and point it to join #uncyclopedia on irc.freenode.net - these both work a lot better than qwebirc and KiwiIRC. -- Lost Labyrinth
- Now neither channel works. What it does is refuses to send my messages, but I think it still notifies everyone when I go on, so I look like a bit of a tit. --EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 21:40, 20 October 2014 (UTC)
Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit source]
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.
Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Firesheep (10/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has begun.
Chat Quote
<Denza252> ephemey: am i trololololololing?
made me laugh[edit source]
If you're a girl, suck my dick. If not, still suck my dick. Leverage (talk) 20:39, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
- =D -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:40, 10 October 2014 (UTC)
dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Do u think we should cancel the USP
Anyone
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it againnn!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnDebate:Should women rap? (10/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has ended.
Chat Quote None
Solar flares[edit source]
You helped to get solar flares featured. As a reward, here's a dope picture of a solar flare. You can totally make it your desktop background or something.
Thanks for your vote! --
01:08, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit source]
By Sir Peasewhizz
Before time began there was the cube. Wait, hold on... yeah wrong script. Okay, let's start again. Before the internet was cool, there was no Uncyclopedia. This is because before Uncyclopedia was a website, there was this awful site for information that anybody could edit called Wikipedia. There was also catfishes and cocks.
That all changed back in 2005. When Uncyclopedia was established/founded/spawned/born/emerged/created, the internet took off. Not literally, but metaphorically... or something. The fact remains that the world, with the introduction of Unyclopedia, began to gain faith in the internet. The Amish began to use electricity after Uncyclopedia was established!
And our legacy could fade away; not unlike my basketball trick shot.
All jokes aside, Uncyclopedia may be content-free, as one could say, but it is not free to run. Uncyclopedia runs on a server and this requires money. We don't mean like the billions Obama requires, but it still needs a bit of money to be a legendary thing.
How does Wikipedia stay up then? Well, we're not Wikipedia. We're run by no employees and we're instead run by dedicated users who spend their time editing/fucking with the site that they love. Uncyclopedia is nearly ten years old, so it's not like the joy of "uncyclopediating" isn't real. It's in the Webster Dictionary.
Not every one is rich either, in fact, we're all kinda bland. Money doesn't grow on trees. Now we're not gonna hold you for ransom and we sure as hell aren't going to guilt you into donating to our cause... but think about the children that would starve without us!
Basically, read more about it here. Thanks for your time.
If you can't donate, don't. We won't force you to do something we can't ourselves.
And another thing you could do besides donate is spread the word or buy something from our store.
Anyone
Biopic
You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it!
From The Logs
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VFH Highlight Of The Week President Hoover (11/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Donate to Uncyclopedia if you can.
Chat Quote None.
Christmas song[edit source]
Vocals are trickling in (from all over the world) but the more the merrier. Would you be willing/able? Leverage (talk) 21:38, 8 December 2014 (UTC)
- I'll perhaps give it a shot later. My mic is currently fucked and I haven't had time to fix it. If I can't get it fixed, I guess I'll have to use my phone for the recording. Get the Auto-Tune ready. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:17, 10 December 2014 (UTC)
Vote, Vote, Vote[edit source]
It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! -- 02:24, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
*untitled*[edit source]
Thank you for fixing the quote on my user page. I owe you one. User:Matthlock/sig2 06:00, 26 March 2015 (UTC)
- No worries. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 20:51, 2 April 2015 (UTC)
I KNOW ALL YOUR SECRETS[edit source]
Even as XY007 I do. I remember when this sort of thing happened on ED. XY007 (talk) 23:15, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- I didn't steal that copper wire, I thought they were throwing it out. An older boy told me to do it. Honest. I also didn't kill that bloke who threatened to report me. It was all Olipro. Yeah they're his secrets you're sitting on, not mine. I covered my tracks...I think... -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:23, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
Autopatrol?[edit source]
Why do I have this right anyways suddenly? XY007 (talk) 23:27, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- So that any edits you make are autopatrolled and don't require somebody else to do it for you. You seem trustworthy enough based on your Illogicopedia contribs and I doubt you're going to destroy the site by letting you go on your merry way, or at least not on your main account. ;) -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:34, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for promoting me, I'm telling all my friends at Illogicopedia (I have rollback there too, due to winning Writer of the Month).
XY007 • talk • contributions 23:38, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for promoting me, I'm telling all my friends at Illogicopedia (I have rollback there too, due to winning Writer of the Month).
Illogicopedia[edit source]
You may want to check out some of my contributions on Illogicopedia. My favourites are Malaysia and You and your pet Jamaican (collab with Island Monkey). Look out for them! 
XY007 • talk • contributions 23:41, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- Thinking of writing a piece on Team Plasma also and why I hate them so much.
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Lost Labyrinth, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
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If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!
Yes, I like it. Leverage (talk) 14:48, 19 April 2015 (UTC)
- :D -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 22:08, 21 April 2015 (UTC)
Webchat[edit source]
Webchat on uncyclopedia is going crazy. I'm trying to talk and I'm getting spam? How do you make it stop? -- MagicBus Talk to me! 12:59, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
- It's Spam Month! Ain't no way we're stopping until June. :D
- Nonetheless if you wish to contribute without getting flooded off, I recommend using HexChat. It'll throttle whatever you feed through it so that freenode's servers don't boot you off. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 13:04, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
- How do I add my own spam and make it repeat? -- MagicBus Talk to me! 13:55, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
- Type things and press enter repeatedly. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 11:11, 5 May 2015 (UTC)
- Dont worked for me ....
- Then you're quite clearly doing something incredibly wrong. Download Hexchat, pick what name you want, scroll down the network list until you see Freenode, connect to that, once it's connected up type
/join #uncyclopedia, press enter so that you actually end up in the channel, then do what Banzaikitten said to do and you should be all set. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 18:03, 5 May 2015 (UTC)
- Nope. not worked A×N×O×N×Y×M×O×U×S
- Sounds like you might need to buy a keyboard. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 08:57, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks Banzaikitten and Lost Labyrinth! -- MagicBus Talk to me! 14:22, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
- Magicbus, you can set up scripts to autospam- I don't know how to though. Also if you just copy a huge amount of text- assuming your client has a throttling function, the text will come through as a bunch of posts overtime. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 15:04, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
- Magicbus, you can set up scripts to autospam- I don't know how to though. Also if you just copy a huge amount of text- assuming your client has a throttling function, the text will come through as a bunch of posts overtime. - B@NZai k!tten
- Thanks Banzaikitten and Lost Labyrinth! -- MagicBus Talk to me! 14:22, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
- Sounds like you might need to buy a keyboard. - B@NZai k!tten
- Nope. not worked A×N×O×N×Y×M×O×U×S
- Then you're quite clearly doing something incredibly wrong. Download Hexchat, pick what name you want, scroll down the network list until you see Freenode, connect to that, once it's connected up type
- Dont worked for me ....
- Type things and press enter repeatedly. - B@NZai k!tten
- How do I add my own spam and make it repeat? -- MagicBus Talk to me! 13:55, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Uncyclopedia:Flammable's Office[edit source]
Hi, could you please change my section so I'm referred to with female pronouns? I have stated several times on Special:Webchat I prefer female pronouns. Giant Tankton (talk) 21:31, 17 May 2015 (UTC)
Rollback Princess Drama Queen[edit source]
17:21 (User rights log) . . Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) changed group membership for User:Miley Spears from (none) to rollback and autopatrolled (Have some free user rights!)
- Gee, thanks!
DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:33, 16 June 2015 (UTC)
- You're welcome! :) -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 16:30, 16 June 2015 (UTC)
- You're welcome! :) -- Lost Labyrinth
stop being a duchebag[edit source]
i make the votes to deop lost labyrinth forum but the banzai delete it so stop being duche and learn to be nice like tkfeck
- Thank you for input. Your opinion is important to me. I hope I have not lost you as a fan. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 16:30, 2 July 2015 (UTC)
You remind me of Columbia Tristar Pictures.[edit source]
--192.99.219.255 (talk) 15:23, 6 July 2015 (UTC)
- Okay. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 16:42, 6 July 2015 (UTC)
Comedic serial killers[edit source]
Hi Lost Labyrinth! I added an image to this article, re-formatted it properly, moved to UnBooks and permitted myself to remove the WIP template. I actually really enjoyed reading it, it's a very funny parody of what a research paper on serial killers could look like. I looked up the books in the references and they're apparently all fake, so it's definitely not spam. Cheers! Anton (talk) 16:12, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
Hey[edit source]
You might as well block me straight away. MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 00:34, 12 August 2015 (UTC)
YOU ARE WINNER[edit source]
|
Uncyclopedian of the Month August 2015 |
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:27, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you all so much for giving me this prestigious award. It's an honour to finally be recognised for doing fuck all for Uncyclopedia and this award is truly something that I myself, my family and my friends can all be proud of. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 17:42, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
- Congrats you lazyass admin. 17:57, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
Help photoshopping[edit source]
Can you help me with the Sega Mega Drive article? I think it would be cool if someone were able to photoshop the cover art of Genesis' Abacab onto the Genesis console, considering the console and the band share the same name and ABACABB is the blood code for Mortal Kombat. Maybe add a picture of Phil Collins or something? I'm not good at image manipulation, do you know someone who is?--EpicWinner (talk) 22:54, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
[edit source]
Hey, are you Lost Labyrinth from The Sims Wiki? --Stranger195 
(talk • contribs • guestbook • wt • unf) 14:06, 10 October 2015 (UTC)
- I am indeed. Nice to see people there are stalking me. :P -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:03, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
- Omfg I knew I recognised you from somewhere. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 09:32, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
- Omfg I knew I recognised you from somewhere. - B@NZai k!tten
So...[edit source]
Someone told me you were sexy. Is that true? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:28, 2 November 2015
- Oh yeah definitely. Very sexy in fact. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:37, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
- I sent you an email. Did it work? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:41, 2 November 2015
- Got it, replied. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:45, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
- Got it, replied. -- Lost Labyrinth
- I sent you an email. Did it work? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:41, 2 November 2015
HeyHey[edit source]
Hey remember me? You were there when I made http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Why_did_the_Olipro_cross_the_road XD. I hope you are well. I dropped by to say hello! XD Chilly99 (talk) 00:49, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Please[edit source]
18:07, 4 November 2015 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs | block) resurrected PeeWee92 (talk | contribs) (Maybe, maybe not. But judging by his other edits including deleted and the blank, I'd say he's just a little misguided, so please don't adjust a block I made especially without consulting me first. Anyway his day is up so unblocking.)
i seriously don't think he's here to contribute. he created a one liner afterwards and put my stuff on VFD. He clearly has an agenda and is clearly not misguided. I blocked him for 1 week because he misused VFD to his own agenda, on the same article.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 
15:36, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
- Oh you told him to do so...--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!!
16:01, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
- Judging by his edits he simply doesn't like your article, hence why I told him to send it to VFD if he wanted it gone that badly. Whether you agree with him or not, not liking an article for whatever reason is a valid reason to send something to VFD. Looking over his edits he hasn't actually done anything wrong since his last block (except write a one-liner about somebody, which actually isn't vanity as Rachael Riley is reputable enough, but I'll have a word with him about that). I'm going to release him from his block for now and see how this goes. If he gets blocked again for whatever reason, that's down to him but I just think it's unfair to give somebody a week-long ban because they simply don't like something. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 17:19, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
- Judging by his edits he simply doesn't like your article, hence why I told him to send it to VFD if he wanted it gone that badly. Whether you agree with him or not, not liking an article for whatever reason is a valid reason to send something to VFD. Looking over his edits he hasn't actually done anything wrong since his last block (except write a one-liner about somebody, which actually isn't vanity as Rachael Riley is reputable enough, but I'll have a word with him about that). I'm going to release him from his block for now and see how this goes. If he gets blocked again for whatever reason, that's down to him but I just think it's unfair to give somebody a week-long ban because they simply don't like something. -- Lost Labyrinth
- Oh you told him to do so...--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!!
Stop assisting him.[edit source]
Anyone who starts stuff by blanking is clearly not here to contribute. You are clearly helping his agenda and will contribute to him deleting every single one of my articles. You are merely feeding fuel to a already successful and happy troll. You are also telling this troll that he has special privileges and can't be touched, and when someone blocks him he will be released quickly without a trace. Don't do that.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 05:38, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
- Yes he blanked your article and replaced it with a delete tag. Going by his edit summary he wanted to delete the article because he didn't like it. No, he shouldn't have gone that way about it but I told him that while he was blocked for a day for writing vanity, and suggested that he sends it to VFD if he really wants it deleted. He acted on my suggestion and he was well within his rights to do so, just like you are free to nominate any article over at VFD that you don't like.
- As for his agenda... what agenda? He didn't like your article and he sent it to VFD. You then took it upon yourself to revert him and ban him again. After he was told not to blank articles he doesn't like, he didn't do anything else particularly terrible that was worthy of a ban. What exactly makes you think he's aiming to delete every single one of your articles? Honestly I can't say I blame him for leaving you messages like this when you're blocking him at every possible moment. Also, nobody is telling "this troll" (how is he trolling exactly?) that he has special privileges over anybody else here. If he does something that's genuinely banworthy then he'll get banned. He was only "released quickly without a trace" because his ban(s) were unfair. That's it.
- You are the only person on this entire site who has an issue with that particular article being on VFD. I get that it's disheartening to see one of your articles on VFD. Honestly. But you can't go and wipe out a VFD nomination for your article "without a trace" like you did and you can't go banning people for having an opinion that you disagree with. This is pure, and I hate to use this term, "op abuse". I'm not going to bother reverting you over at VFD, because there's nothing I would like more than to move on from this, but I will be lifting PeeWee92's block because it was completely uncalled for, and others I've spoken to seem to agree with me. If somebody, whether it's PeeWee92 or not, wants to put any of your articles on VFD, just vote keep or whatever and leave it be. Whether it stays or goes is down to the community that you are a part of. Don't take administrative action on somebody because you believe that they are targeting you specifically by nominating your articles on VFD or taking issue with an action that you have undertaken. Everybody makes mistakes, be open to criticism and become a better person as a result. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 18:51, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
- Also I didn't see that he made a deop forum when I wrote that. While I do feel he jumped the gun in creating it, he was still within his rights to do so and I still don't think that was worthy of a ban. But this bullshit has been drawn out for long enough now anyway. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 18:54, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
- Also I didn't see that he made a deop forum when I wrote that. While I do feel he jumped the gun in creating it, he was still within his rights to do so and I still don't think that was worthy of a ban. But this bullshit has been drawn out for long enough now anyway. -- Lost Labyrinth
welcome test. -- Lost Labyrinth 
• (t) • (c) • (a) 22:57, 24 November 2015 (UTC)
Oh Dear...[edit source]
Hello, Lost Labyrinth, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
- Beginner's Guide
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- If you're a vandal, this may be your wake up-call!
- How to be funny and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:01, 24 November 2015 (UTC)
youre worse than spike[edit source]
this is swagpersonified
i have a new home now http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Contributions/Swagpersonified
spike is nice and you are not
- Spike banned him about a minute after posting this. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 18:51, 27 November 2015 (UTC)
you are a egotastical maniac
learn to be nice to people pls
Yeah for being such a dick take this! - B@NZai k!tten 
(Meow?) 11:49, 30 November 2015 (UTC)
This admin is such a bastard, users who have been caught in their wake have had to complain to other admins.
- I have no idea whatsoever what is going on here but I like awards, so thank you very much Banzaikitten for this prestigious award. It is a great honour to be receiving the Bastard Admin Award. :D -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:10, 2 December 2015 (UTC)
Shrek[edit source]
Would it be possible for you to unlock this page?--EpicWinner (talk) 04:34, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
- Changed the protection to semi (as it's still a FA) so non-admins can edit. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 17:34, 14 December 2015 (UTC)
r u ever coming back[edit source]
yh i c the stats was broken and i c u quit the internet so i want to know if ur ever coming back to fix it
- ? -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 00:54, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
Tukey[edit source]
Hello young man. Looking for a replacement judge for the Bad Taste category (for the Turkey ball) and a third judge for the Image category. If you have the time please go ahead and judge (one or both). Would like to get this wrapped up before the end of the year. Cheeeeeeeers ShabiDOO 17:50, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
Niggers[edit source]
Can you unlock this article so I can make a few touch-ups?--EpicWinner (talk) 23:04, 17 January 2016 (UTC)
IRC[edit source]
Wanna chat in IRC again?--Abacab (talk) 22:41, 19 January 2016 (UTC)
- Maybe another time. Normally I would be up for it, but I'm going to bed in a little while as I have to go to work in the morning. :( -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 22:51, 19 January 2016 (UTC)
Before you sleep, can you plz vote for the articles on VFD to get them out of the way?--Abacab (talk) 23:00, 19 January 2016 (UTC)
Good golly[edit source]
Thank you for letting me have this stab at happiness by helping to bring one of my pitiful articles to the joyous rank of featuredom! CHYAAAH! I owe you one for this, Lost Labyrinth. User:Matthlock/sig2 00:12, 23 February 2016 (UTC)
Plagiarism, I say[edit source]
Looks like the official Sims forums is copying us (or at least our count to a million thread). Proof here -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:00, 3 August 2017 (UTC)
- It's a rather old forum game. I don't think they're copying anybody. LDA MyOwnBadSelf, 'Does it look different enough for y'all?' (talk - stalk - block) 22:58, 3 August 2017 (UTC)
- I somehow ended up missing this message, partly thanks to the usual group of twits who like to spam my talk page.
- But yeah, I'm with MyOwnBadSelf on this one. It's a popular forum game across the internet. Similar to the origin of my username thread. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 17:53, 24 August 2017 (UTC)
- But yeah, I'm with MyOwnBadSelf on this one. It's a popular forum game across the internet. Similar to the origin of my username thread. -- Lost Labyrinth
Hey, man[edit source]
Would you mind adding Trent Reznor to Category:Nine Inch Nails? Trent is protected. Thanks. ~ Kakun · talk 22:47, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
- All done. :) -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:44, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
One more thing[edit source]
Hi again LL, I don't know if you're an expert, but there's a problem with Template:Infobox musical artist, it causes a red message "Script error" appear on the page, for example: Black Sabbath. Do you have an idea how to fix it? ~ Kakun · talk 07:07, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
I think[edit source]
you hardblocked part of the AT&T cellular network. Can you please change it to anonymous users only? I edit from AT&T networks sometimes. Awesome Aasim (Aasim Syed) 08:18, 11 March 2018 (UTC)
Finally you, a fearless hero protecting us, poor and starved spammers[edit source]
Hey, dat spam removal unit starved us. Thanks to save the day. --Spam Allowing Unit (talk) 17:01, 18 August 2018 (UTC)
Spam Removal Unit[edit source]
I believe you were quite hasty and made an error in judgment by blocking the Spam Removal Unit. I found him to be extremely helpful in finding spam and spammers and alerting me. I can't thank him enough for all the hard work he did. His block has spawned at least one blatant spammer, whom I've already taken care of. If it's alright with you, may I please reinstate SRU, even on a trial basis? Thank you. 
PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:18, 18 August 2018 (UTC)
- The block was made based on CheckUser evidence, which did show one particular IP of his was being used for dicking about. All his IPs belong to the same ISP and all user agents are the same. The reason I ran the check was because there was a user in the past with a similar username and being dedicated to anti-spam/vandalism who turned out to be a sock of somebody else and thought they may have been related (it wasn't who I was thinking of, the other stuff I actually found by accident). If you think he deserves another chance then I won't stand in the way, provided he stays on the straight and narrow from now on. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 22:41, 23 August 2018 (UTC)
Delete request[edit source]
I saw you blocked User:I am going to eat you and can you please delete his page because we do not need this user page existing almost 2 years. I am usually here to witness banned users of trolls and vandals from the past and today. Jaymes (talk) 04:07, 2 February 2019 (UTC)