User:Everyotherusernamewastaken/Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck

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This visually striking poster was used to advertise Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck in California and Nevada.

Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck, also known as This Is Not a Dating Site!, is a 1949 musical feature film written by Oscar Hammerstein and Irving Berlin and directed by Stanley Donen, starring Gene Kelly as naive playboy Bill Rogers, Josephine Baker as "Marylin Monroe" and Marylin Monroe as Poster Whore (pictured right). Released in the US with taglines such as "You've got 1 friend request", "Fuckbook is back" and "No signup, no bullshit", it detailed Bill Rogers' anticipation of a brief sexual encounter with an old black woman whom he thought to be a young white woman. It includes many hit songs such as the title song "Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck", which won the 1950 Academy Award for best song, "I Wasn't Willing to Fuck Ugly Women At a Moment's Notice", and "Not Got the Knack for a Black in the Sack?".

Reception[edit | edit source]

Upon the movie's release, it got no critic reviews, and hasn't yet had one to date. It was a box-office failure, as most of the public is reported as passing by the posters silently or remarked quietly on their lewdness. It remains a mystery how it won the Academy Award for best song.

"Just Send a Message and Ask to Fuck" lyrics[edit | edit source]

The title song is used as the overture and credits, and is sung by a shifty newsagent (Peter Lorre) 15 minutes through the film, as Bill Rogers explains to him that he is feeling very depressed and hasn't got laid in two days.

You want some quick release after a long, hard day,
You want her to relax you in a long, hard way,
And there's only one way, you can climax today
Without signup, or bullshit, it's at a moment's notice...
Just Send a Message, and ask to fuck! ask to fuck! ask to fuck!
Just Send a Message, and ask to fuck! ask to fuck, right now!
But be aware, if you should care, you must be willing to
Fuck ugly women at a moment's notice, as that is a rule
From MILFs to GILFs, delightful Filth you shall receive...
Should you Just Text and Ask to Fuck!