User talk:Hyperbole/chive5

Section header

A man walks into Mercy Cafe and orders a koala tea. The barista brings it to him, but there's all this pulp and shit floating on top. The man says "Hey, could you run this through a cheesecloth or something?" The barista exclaims, "Sir! The koala tea of Mercy is not strained!" pillow talk 07:27, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

lape

We don't take kindly to you fancy Shakespeare-reading types round these parts. --C:\syndrome\_ 12:44, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Here's something a little more appropriate for everyone: A penguin walks into a bar and orders a scotch and soda. The bartender is quite surprised and says, "You know, we don't get a lot of talking penguins around here." The penguin replies, "at these prices, I'm not surprised." --C:\syndrome\_ 12:48, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve bears in this bar." The bear says, "But I'd like a beer." The bartender says "We don't serve bears beer in this bar." The bear says "DAMN IT, GIVE ME A BEER!" The bartender says "We don't serve big, boisterous, burly, belligerent bears beer in this bar." The bear turns to the woman next to him and mauls her and eats her whole. Then he says "Give me a beer or you're next!" The bartender says "We don't serve bears on drugs in this bar." The bear says confusedly, "But I'm not on drugs." The bartender says "Actually, that was a bar bitch you ate." pillow talk 17:17, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

...Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questioned his motive. --C:\syndrome\_ 18:41, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

GTFO. pillow talk 19:01, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Correction, Tits or GTFO! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:03, 17 September 2009

Correction Uterus or GTFO! --Mn-z 04:53, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

Three nuns were walking through the park when a man jumped out and flashed them. The first one had a stroke. The second one had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach. Pup t 22:45, 21/09/2009

Thanks Hype

Hey Look! It's only filled with happy sand guys!! I swear to god, we're going to lose this war if Hitler keeps sending me on these ridiculous wild goose chases. We wasted a whole year running around Europe to look for the Spear of Destiny and all we found was a bunch of people who claimed to own it. We must have killed fifty people and all we have is a truck full of worthless, rusty spear heads and rotting wooden poles to show for it! Now it looks like we'll be spending 1942 finding out how many people have an Ark of the Covenant and collecting a pile of dusty, acacia wood furniture for the Fuhrer in the process. This is not why I became a Nazi. The bling with all the swastikas is nice but I look like Black Leather Jacket Dork when I'm standing here in this dark, musty craphole with the likes of Captain Doofus and Towel Head Priest Guy!

Uh oh, I need to write more crap!! At least I'll be fresh when I do--    12:51, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Time to make your page NSFW too!

In honor of the time you make my page NSFW in honor of the time you made Socky's page NSFW, I present you with this obviously pornographic image:

Good day to you, sir. --Mn-z 04:31, September 20, 2009 (UTC)

That's kinda beatiful actually.    Orian57    Talk   07:22 23 September 2009

Heh heh, that guy's got a woody. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:29, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Perve. I was talking about the scenery.    Orian57    Talk   07:34 23 September 2009

Angry and confused (well, not angry so much, more like perplexed, but then that's just being redundant, which is bad, and i don't want to be a bad person, but I don't know what else to do, AAAAAAAAAA!

Hey Hype. You, um, removed the {{Crime}} template from my article, and to add insult to injury, you didn't even vote on it! For shame! Back in my day, we knew a thing or two about proper etiquette. Humph! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 03:36, Sep 23

Oh hey, Necro! Yeah, this afternoon I became horrified at what a mess the {{crime}} template had become, so I removed like 70% of the stuff from it, took it off all the articles except what was left, and nominated a bunch of stuff for VFD in the process. I was working so fast I didn't even realize I was looking at a nominated article. Anyway, feel free to revert anything I did! And, sure, I'll read your article and vote :) pillow talk 05:43, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, okay. I didn't know you were doing some site maintenance (probably because I didn't think to look), so everything's alright. Thanks for the vote, too! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 17:48, Sep 23

Solve this.

A giant squid molests a Wikipedia Admin. After the unrelated rape scene, the admin walks into a bar. Is this possible?-Almost Sir Random Crap

I don't know, what's the barometric pressure at the time? pillow talk 21:33, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

And why did Joseph Stalin stick a candy bracelet up a donkey's ass?-Almost Sir Random Crap

For the lulz? pillow talk 21:36, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

No, because he was fucking crazy. You would fail in Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?-Almost Sir Random Crap

On an unrelated note

I updated this article. Now I'm sure it will survive VFD. --Mn-z 05:19, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

That was an excellent update, except that it made the article less likely to survive VFD. Still, I commend you, my backwards friend. --Inebriated 05:50, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

Nonsense, its a template, so mordillo will vote keep, and it mentions Oscar Wilde so dex will vote keep. --Mn-z 05:54, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

That's true, Mordillo does vote to keep every template. Maybe we should make a template called {{MordilloisaJewfag}}, populate it with 7,000 bytes of utterly random characters, and see if he votes keep. ~~Inebriated 05:58, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

~ 09:35, September 24, 2009 (UTC)

On a related note, somebody should get around to creating an article on How to save a really really shit article from deletion using no effort at all So far we got: Oscar Wilde references if the title, templatedness, iCarly references (actually all in-jokes), and preggo pics. I would also add references to pants to get MrN9000's keep vote. --Mn-z 04:33, September 27, 2009 (UTC)

Why is it every time I see that pic I think of a portion of the female anatony? And I don't mean an eye. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:58, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

My little grey cells, zey 'ave solved ze case! Necropaxx would very much like to thank you for uncovering who the real murderer was. "If not for your 'elp, mon ami, I fear zat Monsieur Murderer might 'ave escaped." Double thanks for making this my tenth feature! Woo!

Also thanks for the template maintenance. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 20:37, Sep 24

query

did you admit to being inebriated when i was away? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 08:10, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

Shoot, I don't know. I can hardly ever remember what I do when I'm drunk. pillow talk 08:11, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

haha, you're not even logging in, you're just leaving a link to inebriated's userpage as your sig. perhaps you just function too well when you're drunk. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 08:15, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

Well, Inebriated did write a far more popular article than I ever have. pillow talk 08:20, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

only a true master would allow his drunken alter-ego to take credit for such greatness...if that is you...which i'm still confused about. so i guess i'll wander away aimlessly. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 08:22, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

So what is your favorite poison Hype? ~ 09:49, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I like to stick to the basics. Jack and Asahi Super Dry. You? pillow talk 15:09, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

Asahi is a good one. I'd say Guinness and any good single malt. ~ 23:07, September 25, 2009 (UTC)

Regarding VFH

Do you have anything that you feel is VFH ready at the moment?

All, btw, is there a particular reason you don't like that cliche image of the fat guy? --Mn-z 05:44, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, Mn'z! I don't know if anything I have is VFH-ready. The only thing I really feel is VFH quality is UnTunes:All You Motherfuckers Are Gonna Pay... but then, that failed, with +7, -7 (although, admittedly, one of the -'s was me). I don't know. I always thought that was my best song.

As for pieeater... the particular reason I don't like that image is I find it fucking disgusting. To me, that question is like...if someone took a shit in my spaghetti, and said "Is there any particular reason you're not eating this?" The world would be better without that photograph. pillow talk 06:46, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

I like all your songs Hype, because you're the only one that does them really well around here, but Motherfuckers was my favourite. It was me that nommed that one wasn't it? I think it'd be worth another try.    Orian57    Talk   07:25 29 September 2009

Its on VFH again. And on a totally unrelated note, you are now in 7th place in the HoS and 6.5 articles behind the current leader. Just saying. --Mn-z 15:37, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Right on. Well, we'll see if it flies. I don't know, seems this one gets a very positive response from some people... but obviously not everyone. And yeah, I'm aware I'm close... almost makes me wish I hadn't written two FAs with socks ;) pillow talk 17:14, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Which two did you write with a sock? --Mn-z 17:19, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

The fact that you don't want a poodle (by far my most popular article ever) and UnNews:Point-Counterpoint:Is Obama smart to bring back the era of big government?. I wrote the latter with a sock because I thought the idea was so stupid it was going to embarrass me and probably face deletion. pillow talk 17:22, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Actually, by the VFH votes, UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs was your best article with a score of +24.5. --Mn-z 17:30, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Well, by voting alone, I'd have to argue that Turing Duck Test was my best article, as it tied for #1 article of 2008. But Poodle went semi-viral on Reddit and racked up an enormous number of hits - Spang told me that for a few days, it took up a significant proportion of the entire site's traffic, and was more popular than the main page. pillow talk 19:33, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Wow, that's cool. I loved that article. I nommed it, rember me when "the fact that you don't want a poodle" becomes a full blown meme that bad comedians rely on to get a laugh when things are going badly.    Orian57    Talk   23:17 18 October 2009

Thought I'd give this a try

Hi Hype, hope you're good. I'm kinda here to see if I can get some involvement in a little idea. See, the pee queue is backed up a little, and I figured that if most of our active reviewers did two reviews each this weekend, it'd pretty much take care of that. I know, I know, this is a busy time of the year 'n' shit, and you've done a bunch of reviews already this year. Cool. Thanks. And if you can't, you cant. But if you can find the time to crank out just 2 decent reviews this weekend, it'd be awesome. Hell, if we do shift the queue, it might even help grease those sticky wheels over at VFH a little. I reckon it's worth a shot, what say you? --UU - natter 18:34, Sep 30

I'll give it a shot! This is largely dependent on my girlfriend's attitude about the weekend, but I will certainly see what can be done. Cheers! pillow talk 18:50, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

I understand that one. My own participation is dependent on whether or not my in-laws are both still in hospital by the weekend (neither of them can walk, it's all fun), but I'm gonna give it all I have as well, even if only half the people I've asked chip in, it should make a difference. cheers again! --UU - natter 22:01, Sep 30

?

I didnt revert you.. But I left the edit page on for about 10 minutes before I pressed the save page button.. Seems like I overwrote your edit somehow.. Sorry, chief • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 20:24 October 8 '09

Huh, it missed an edit conflict? Sounds... broken. Which sounds... curiously normal. pillow talk 20:25, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

A wizard did it, obviously • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 20:46 October 8 '09

To Break the tension from the copyright drama, I present...

iCarly Cat

Iz not pregnut, just haz womb newtz.

That is all. --Mn-z 05:26, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

That's just sick. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:20, 10 October 2009

Well, hype has a weird sense of humor that like. --Mn-z 15:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

LOLcat. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:32, 10 October 2009

Has anyone noticed iCarly is possibly the most desperate attempt to link the real world to the Internet since Twitter?-Almost Sir Random Crap

Has anyone noticed that our articles on iCarly have little to no link with the actual show? --Mn-z 16:28, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

We have articles on iCarly? —Syndrome (Penis•Penis•Penis•Penis•Penis) 21:35, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

A few, and I blame their existence on newt magicks. Also, did you know that if you discuss a retarded topic long enough, you will eventually find it funny? --Mn-z 04:58, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

I'm commenting here so this doesn't look like VFH drama, because it's not VFH drama, you can vote whichever way you wish, as is your right, and I really care not, so I'd like to make that clear, but something struck me as amusing so I wanted to comment on it, and so here I am, gosh, this heading is getting long, and somewhat comma spliced, isn't it about time I used some other form of punctuation?

Yeah, anyway: a vote about being self-referential. From the guy who nominated Category:My sojourn? Heh. That was all. Wasn't worth the header, was it? Wasn't even amusing, now I think about it, but I've typed out that header now so I'm gonna make the comment anyway. Uh, hi Hype! --UU - natter 21:45, Oct 18

Hey, I didn't just nominate Category:My sojourn. I wrote Category:My sojourn. But that's not self-referential. It's an in-joke. The two aren't mutually inclusive. By the way, I'm drunk in the middle of the day and I have dinner with my dad in like two hours. I'm so fucked! Yay. --Inebriated 22:40, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

YOU BURNED MY SUN BEES!

Thanks a hive! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:34, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome! pillow talk 20:35, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

That's what I was saying... Thanks. Pup t 02:27, 20/10/2009

Your nommed article.

A few users have brought up the issue that it's not topical. I think this could be solved if you made the band be so out of it that they wrote the song after Bush was already gone, and just barely realized he was a bad president. I'd do it myself, but I'm terrible greedy and I'd demand co-authorship credit. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 14:12, Oct 22 2009

Hey, I just came here to comment about UnNews:Local band writes song critical of President Bush. I was going to say there may be a few ways you could make this current--have someone ask the band if they realize Bush isn't president any more, and the band didn't (they were on tour/drugs/in China where there couldn't get any news, whatever). Or maybe "So why did you release a song that's a year out of date? --It took two years to write it. It takes time to be this groundbreaking." Or of course you can leave the article the way it is--you have my permission. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:56, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Hey guys! I think I'm just gonna let that article be what it is. I wrote it last year to make fun of the bass player in my band and the anti-Bush song he had written with his former band. (All names have been changed). Never really saw it as anything likely to go to feature. Thanks, though! pillow talk 17:07, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

I called it! Didn't I call it? Yes I did. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 19:40, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Oh good grief. Don't you have anything other than that to brag about? No, don't tell me. I don't want to see a list. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:58, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Basement Dweller

If you will please change your vote to delete Basement Dweller, then my rewrite will live on. All set now. Spıke ¬  19:12 29-Oct-09

Yeah, in general, if something gets three keep votes, it ain't going anywhere. pillow talk 20:52, October 29, 2009 (UTC)

All You Motherfuckers Are Gonna Pay

I'm going to be performing this at a coffee house on Friday if that's alright with you. I'll post a video if I can. --EMC ^[TALK] 10:52 Nov 2 2009

Not only is that alright with me, that is the most awesome thing ever. Break a leg! pillow talk 15:22, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Make sure I know where the video is, if you don't mind. I'd like to see it! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:02, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

I'll upload it to my YouTube account and keep you posted. Cheers! --EMC ^[TALK] 05:43 Nov 3 2009

DIG. --THINKER 08:37, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Odd thought

Because I'm an odd person. I just realised that I must have looked at your name a million times and never commented on it. Pup

MrN

OK. So here's the thing. I'm here to pay you a complement. Something which as you know always makes me feel rather ill at ease. Therefore to compensate I think it's best to provide some form of insult before hand. If you could assume that I had recently said something derogatory about perhaps your mother or another close personal associate I would feel much more comfortable. Anyway... So here is the complement: Um... See, the thing is.... I um. OK. I have laughed my arse of at some of your votes and comments at VFD recently. *cough*. Um. Yea. Well I did. So what can I say. You sir make me laugh. To take advantage of this situation I'm going to further attempt to increase the prestige of my personal award by posting a link to it on your talk page:

You are not pants MrN9000 could not help but notice that you are not pants. As such, you have been awarded the Titanium Trousers by way of recognition. Any suggestion that this is a pants award will be treated accordingly...

That's just you and Gerrycheevers now who have won both of the MrN's wonderful awards. Oh, I'm feeling a lot better now we are back to talking about me a bit more again. MrN 16:13, Nov 7

Hey, thank you, Mr. N! I've always wanted something I can hang on my wall to support my claim that I am distinguishable from undergarments. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. pillow talk 18:33, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Beer is good

Leaving is not good. I was close to doing it myself several times, but at these points I always go and read some of Hardwick or that drunk schmuck, Inebriated, and recall why I'm really here. It's not worth leaving Uncyclopedia over. ~ 00:12, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

It might be worth it to read, but I'm having a hard time seeing how it's worth it to write. You know what really bothers me? It's content writers who pay Sannse's salary, and what do we get in return? An assurance that our opinions about content mean absolutely nothing and she's the final authority on everything. What kind of deal is that?? pillow talk 00:16, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

As much as I'm unhappy about this whole issue, I still think this is one of the better places over the web to write humor. This whole incident is just another obstacle on our road to eternal fame. ~ 00:26, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

You know, obviously I've really loved this place. I mean, I've spent hours and hours here. But I walked away from a marriage when things just weren't working. And maybe I'm getting there with Uncyclopedia. There's a few things here that just absolutely border on dealbreakers for me. I don't like the way TKF has shoved me around even though all my edits have been in good faith. I don't like the fact that IRC is full of crabby, inactive admins who hardly ever come to the wiki anymore but sure love to throw their weight around when they do. And I especially don't like Wikia. I mean, I really hate Wikia. They're making money from our work, and instead of appreciation, the site constantly gets broken - and now apparently we don't even have control over our own content. pillow talk 00:32, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

You can't leave! I was going to nom you for Writer of the Year! At least pull through till January! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 03:33, Nov 12 2009

Per above. --Mn-z 06:31, November 14, 2009 (UTC)

I'm over it

You know what? I was angry today, but then I had a beer, and I realized this is basically a one-off and nothing I should shit myself over. As a consequence, I've been holding it in, and I'm badly, badly constipated. Does anyone have a barium enema? In conclusion: I like this site, and I like you guys. Inebriated 06:33, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Aww. I like you too, Hype. (In a completely Hetero way (stop sulking, Orian, you knew it was gonna happen.).) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 06:41, Nov 12 2009

I love you too, man. And, by the way, when I say, "I had a beer," by that, I mean I had six beers and shot of Jameson. Inebriated 06:43, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

There was a night couple of weeks ago I was drinking out with some friends, and they've been feeding me what they claim was Jameson all throughout the night. At one point I stumbled to the bar and demanded another round and the bartender tells me - "Jameson? What Jameson? We don't serve Jameson here".

...

...

~ 08:48, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

lightweight. Get some absinthe into yourself! Pup

We're talking quality alcohol yes? ~ 10:34, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I'm not sure I understand the moral of your story, except that your bar doesn't serve Jameson, which is an outstanding and exceptionally smooth Irish whiskey. pillow talk 18:08, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Maybe Mordillo's real name is Jameson. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:10, 12 Nov

PRETENTIOUSNESS

I saw you being pretentious. You thought I wasn't looking, didn't you? Please say 5 Hail Sophias and spend at least 30 minutes fiddling with your rosaries. Otherwise I'll be forced to get a nun to spank your behind.  Father WHY??? (confessions)  22:54, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Found something

http://daemonica.org/wiki/Main_Page It looks like some sort of copy of uncyclopedia. --Mn-z 03:44, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

Solid Snake quoticide

Just a thought. Maybe if you took away the ironic quote, IP's would be less inclined to constantly put up stupid quotes. If they don't see any quotes, they may not see the opportunity to add one more. --Matfen 08:18, November 27, 2009 (UTC)

Port

You might not have dipped far enough down in VFD to see my request to you: I've got a fixed version of the VFD article in User:SPIKE/Port but hope you can take it in a couple new directions or maybe even supply photos. Spıke ¬  02:32 1-Dec-09

Calc

I, like, learned about you in math class.--Salafack 22:01, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

That's good. I'm far, far superior to that asshole Parabola. pillow talk 23:33, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

*slap*

SO IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!

Disclaimer: I am a huge not-a-fan of the BUTT POOP meme and have just discovered its origin. Nothing personal; I would have slapped the creator no matter who they were. Now have a cupcake to make up for it. --Andorin Kato 02:17, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Really? I thought this was the origin. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:47, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

I'm not sure if that had any influence on the article or note.

On a related note, hype can you go badger Mordillo about the arbitrary deletion, so this doesn't issue doesn't devolve into an immature hissy fit. --Mn-z 05:56, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

This is getting old. I've posted on Mordillo's talk page asking about it. Let's see if he can shed some light on the issue. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:04, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Forum:Fuck This: My Final Notes

An admin speaks out against admin abuse. If you didn't see this already, I think you'll want to. (And by the way, my support for what's written there has nothing to do with the B.P. controversy, which I keep seeing but don't actually know about and, quite honestly, don't care to get involved in). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  08:01, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Not it isn't. It's a revival of a very old forum written by a user that RDB felt like recreating as a coke - pepsi joke. Read the forum more carefully. ~ 08:51, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

I tend to read what's written, and not check through months of posts to see if something is an inside joke or not. In any case, I agree with it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:24, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

If you'd have read what's written, you'd have seen it was a joke. Christ you're an asshat. Anyways...– Preceding unsigned comment added by Optimuschris (talk • contribs)

I prefer "dumb ass," as in the Bible. "But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man's voice forbad the madness of the prophet." King James Version of the Bible, 2 Peter 2:16. Also there's a statement in Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah which I don't remember exactly but like. The Messiah makes a quote, and then is questioned because the quote is from a comic strip, I think Peanuts. The Messiah responds with something like, "I recognize wisdom wherever I see it." King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:40, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Hype

I just wanted to drop by your talkpage and say that I really hope you don't let the drama over butt poop drive you off the site. You're consistantly one of the best writers here and it would really suck to lose you over this ridiculous page. I can understand your ego got a bit bruised, but I don't think I need to remind you that ego has no place here. Sit back, have a beer and remember: Don't let the bastards get you down (something I needed to remind myself recently as well). -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:25, 12 Dec

Yes, me too. Thank you for that reminder. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:41, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Category removal

While you're fixing stuff, feel like adding Category:Things Russian roulette is not the same without to an excessive number of pages? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:45, December 13, 2009 (UTC)

I added it to Bullets. That's probably the best you're gonna get from me on this particular issue of pressing national importance. pillow talk 23:46, December 13, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, that's cool. But I'm telling you, there's still a world of things that Russian roulette is not the same without.

Also, I tried moving Kwanzaa back to where it was to test moving pages over redirect, and it worked! Except I totally killed the history of the original page somehow. High-five! --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:14, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, fuck, I didn't even think of page histories when I made that swap. Now it looks like I broke it and you made it worse. Well... fuck... High-five!! pillow talk 00:16, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Mahogany dude

Now that you're here - did you already read Classical Satire? I'm not bumming for votes since I wrote it with other things in mind, but I'd like you to read it and let me know what you think. It's one of my best ones so far, in my own opinion. -- Style  Guide 19:18, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I haven't read it. I think I will. pillow talk 19:19, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the for. The objective indeed was to try and write an article about humour that was funny at least on some level(s). A joke about a joke being the hardest ones in the world, I'm pretty satisfied with it. -- Style  Guide 20:01, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Who the hell is SuperBario

I'm new around these parts, but I ain't goin' nowhere for sometime.......or sometimes......or somestimes.....or something like that. Matter is only my second article (The first was Star Trek: The Next Generation). SuperBario 19:45, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Well, welcome to the project, and to these pants parts. I'm looking forward to seeing more of what you've got. And that's the highest compliment I can pay to either a noob or a drug dealer. pillow talk 19:46, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

What about strippers and gay porn stars? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:52, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

SuperBario is a Painter, not a stripper! SuperBario 19:57, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Painter/Stripper. You're all desicrating walls in my book. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:59, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Dude

You are tied with Cajek. Cajek. Dude. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 08:25, Dec 16 2009

Do we need to start banning him then? /me nods eagerly ~ 08:38, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

What? Cajek was banned? Wow, I totally missed that. pillow talk 18:28, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:59, 17 December 2009

If I'm not mistaken, shouldn't we wait until the vote is over to hand out thank you templates? --Mn-z 16:52, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

You don't have to win in order to say thank you. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:10, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Hell, you don't even have to have your article nominated. I could send Mn-z a template right now thanking him for his vote on Template:BUTT POOP. Which I didn't even write! pillow talk 18:27, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Mensaje!

Sometimes I make the template before I even make the article! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:00, 18 December 2009

I should have voted for that. --Mn-z 05:35, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

Quick! Everyone vote for butter before it's too late! Sorry to whore, but I just 'spread' it out a bit as suggested and it needs more 'for' votes. (Or perhaps you could edit it to make it better) Please no 'against' votes though, all those do is make babies and small animals cry and stuff. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:29, 19 December 2009

Drama

Hi, I have just wrote an article that parodies the social phenomenon on Uncyclopedia known as Drama. Seeing as its become a bit of a problem in the past few months (years?) I thought it would be quite cool to make a section at the bottom of the article about other users' opinions of Drama. So I thought I'd invite you to write one, preferably humourous. It's no big deal if you don't want to, but if you are interested, you can come up with a quote and either leave it here on your talk page and I'll add it later, or you can go straight to the article itself and add it there. Any suggestions on improvement are also welcome. Thnx. --Matfen 00:39, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Article link here.

You Sir

Are en fuego. And when I say on fire I mean you're the coolest. What I really want to tell you is, I want to make little baby articles with you. Wait, nevermind sorry, better just give you this:

The Golden Monkey Award

You are hereby granted the Golden Monkey Award for your outstanding contributions. I laughed so hard at your articles, I made this just for you!

Thank you for making Uncyclopedia funnier.

Awarded on: 24 September 2015

All for you.  ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:01, 24 December 2009

Well thanks, Zana! Apparently... I'm some sort of golden monkey. Well, I suppose I've been called worse. No, but seriously, I appreciate it! pillow talk 03:58, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Your recent purchase

Thanks For Buying Our Book! Me and Elmo take bodily functions seriously and If you enjoyed Menstruation: A Guide For Men, be sure to check out these other books in our series: Why Is There Blood In My Toilet? BOOGER! (With Oscar The Grouch)

I'll regift regifting for next year and spend more time on it then. Hopefully make a weiner out of it. I appreciate the motivation with "lasagne" to write a 2nd person escalation, it turned out pretty good.--    21:48, December 31, 2009 (UTC)

Hi

Having read through some of your stuff, I must say I never laughed so much. Hello, as well. --Nikau 03:10, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, Nikau!! Much appreciated :) pillow talk 03:57, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

Stealing the sentiment from below, I'd love to do a collaboration one day, however, if you have the time, would you mind casting your eye over this and giving your opinion. Also do things have to be pee reviewed before they are nominated? --Nikau 11:11, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hyperbole, we need your help.

Are you willing to collaborate with me on writing these following articles?

• User:Joe9320/HowTo:Come to Australia as an asylum seeker (type 'asylum seeker australia rudd' on Google)
• User:Joe9320/Tram
• User:Joe9320/If You Seek Amy (theory)
• User:Joe9320/Uncyclopedia 3
• User:Joe9320/Cybersquatting (I was going to start writing about it, but this is a better deal than the other ones I mentioned)

|Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 01:26, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

Butt Poop graduated on uncy's 5th

In honor of the birthday of uncy I've graduated Butt Poop. Also added two, one my own, one a talk page which is about the funniest thing I've seen on uncy, funny but very nice too. Happy 5th, and thanks for the page. Aleister in Chains 5 Jan. MMX

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 18:52, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Papyrus

What's so perplexing about it? The article parodies Egyptology. (the book of the dead has several chapters with even sillier names) It talks about a nonexistent scroll that does something trivial. It's been possessed by nonexistent people (Ra didn't exist, NephrenKa is a fictional pharaoh from H P Lovecraft's universe, tomb thieves are meh, and the Moses story parodies the *ahem* real Moses story) The author writes about the ways the papyrus influenced history, and the way history would have gone had the papyrus not existed (trivial differences either way, except at the last alternate history section, which is the main punchline of the article {the jews control the government conspiracy thang})

Ahem.. I hope you re-read it now that you're de-perplexed :) • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 08:01 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Are you insinuating that the Moses story was not real? ~ 08:34, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Haha :) No, It's just that there is too many versions of it • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 09:35 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

I don't think I'm any less perplexed than when I started. And I happen to know that the Moses story wasn't real, because I led the Jews out of Egypt. And that stuff about the Red Sea parting was bullshit. We had to kill every fifth guy and fashion a makeshift flotation device out of his skin. pillow talk 09:37, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

So, again, what's perplexing about it? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 09:41 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Hold on hold on. Hype? That was you? Well then, allow me to respond by saying: fuck you. FUCK. YOU. You couldn't lead us to..let's say...SWITZERLAND? HAWAII? CANADA? You had to bring us into ISRAEL?! ~ 09:52, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

We got lost. Have you ever seen a Jew try to use a compass? Well, have you? I rest my case. pillow talk 10:01, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

All you had to do was travel jew North. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:15, 12 Jan

That was totally puncalled for. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:35, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Sinai Peninsula --->Jew north----->Mediterranean Sea----->You rest your case? ~ 20:30, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

The Holy Land® ---> Jew North™ ---> Turkey ---> Part the Aegan Sea ---> Greece ---> Jew north-west ---> Switzerland --> I rest my case. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 06:47 • Saturday, 16-01-2010

-0 on VFD: Encyclopedia clichés

The writing technique about which you ask, on VFD, how it can ever be funny (the part about pompous, categorical statements--not the part about insulting disbelievers), I raised in Forum:Encyclopedia cliches, with the result that User:SPIKE/Cliches-1 is now pointed to by UN:HTBFANJS. Spıke ¬  19:59 15-Jan-10

I have a problem

Dear Hyperbole,

Whenever I do pushups, I can't shake the nagging feeling that I'm not going low enough. I focus on keeping a straight back and I drop as low as feels natural, but I always secretly feel that I'm only cheating myself into thinking that I did a good pushup. This has become a more serious problem as the doubt and worry I associate with pushups has let me to avoiding them almost altogether. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Troubled in Tuscaloona 06:37, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Come visit me at my clinic, I'll fix you up real good. Dr. Joseph Mengele 08:05, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Late thanks

An expression of gratitude We appreciate your discerning judgment and shrewd disposition in voting for HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics, even though the author is a ne'er-do-well and never pealed a steeple bell.

~ 18:07, Jan 24, 2010

Something wicked this way comes...

Do you intentionally link to dear Avril's page in all of your articles? Because once I saw the link in Amerigo Vespucci I knew for sure that it was a Hyperbole article. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 23:13, Jan 29 2010

Hey, congratulations, you're the first person to notice that! Yes, for the last year or so, I've been subtly trying to insult Avril Lavigne in everything I write. I'm not sure why. pillow talk 23:33, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

I've done that, but with Microsoft Knowledge Base because it was the first really interesting formatted page I came across here. A question, did you want to keep vfg secretive or let people know about it. Some of the funniest articles I've read came from the good list (cracked up heartily yesterday over the Brookfield Zoo page), but don't really know your thoughts about exposure (well, I know your thoughts about that, I mean awareness). Aleister in Chains 13:07 30 Jan. MMX

No, I don't want to keep VFG secretive at all! I just don't run around whoring it because that would likely make certain people irritated with me. But, no, obviously, the more people who vote and nominate on that page, the better the system works. pillow talk 18:20, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I'm sure we can find a few reasons why... ;) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 05:29, Jan 31 2010

My girlfriend wants to know if you're cute. pillow talk 06:10, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

I'm tempted to stroke my ego a bit but nah. I'm average looking hideous. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:37, Jan 31 2010

But if that's not a problem for her I'm totally down for a long-distance relationship. =D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:38, Jan 31 2010

I'll pass that right on along to her. pillow talk 19:01, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

On vfg, I had the sense it's for the type of articles which wouldn't be "suitable" for main vfh, the too graphic, or too far out, or short (like Men in Black), or censorable for the general public (Gay Jesus, or my People Who Like current nom). Am I correct in that, or in the vicinity? I will go stroke my ego a bit now, time consuming that. Never on Sunday 13:31 31 Jan. MMXXXI

Well, VFG's just a place where we look for articles that five people think are cool. So, yeah, it's a good place for articles that are just a little off the beaten path - in-jokes, image macros, short articles. On the other hand, it's also a perfectly good place to say "I wrote a new article and I'd like your quick opinion." And it's also a perfectly good place to say "I found an imperfect article but it still made me smile, check it out." pillow talk 19:04, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations

On your WOTY Award, I thought Soggy and a few others might give you more of a run, with so many great writers on the site its always hard to pick a winner. The fact that you ran away with it despite that says a lot about your work. I guess, as always, Uncyclopedia is the winner..... :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Is the worst you mean. Also, Hype, please hold the line as we chop your prize template. ~ 09:03, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, and congrats! ~ 09:05, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Meh. Lucky! He was lucky I tells ya! All he did was write like 20 plus or so features, hang around VFD for a year (being one of the best and most consistent voters ever) Do like shit loads of really good reviews, fixed shed loads of other crap, helped loads of other users, voted on everything, did everything else and was the funniest person on the Wiki (IMO) this year by miles. Actually even when he got banned for trying to help at VFD it was very funny. Other than that it was all pure luck. MrN 09:17, Feb 1

After the year you've had, and Dragon Warrior in particular, I'd have been surprised if anyone else had got it. Well done! Now, any comments on your win for the Signpost, or do I have to go make something up? --UU - natter 14:10, Feb 1

Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work.

Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff! pillow talk 19:59, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Congrats, you really deserved it this year! —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 20:05, 1 February 2010 (UTC)

Congrants on being named Whore of the Year! Umm, that is what WOTY stands for, right? (Seriously, congratulations!) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:56, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments. Now to find some way to take them out of context to imply you're some kind of deviant, in the best traditions of the British tabloid press. Mind you, you've made it quite easy for me. --UU - natter 09:28, Feb 2

Oh, additional: don't stop writing stuff! --UU - natter 12:46, Feb 2

^What they said. Congrats on winning Writer of the Year and having the #1 article of that very year! (Two things of which I forgot to vote.) Describing your brillance is certainly no hyperbole! *silence, accompanied by a cough from someone in the audience* -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 12:38, Feb. 2, 2010

Thanks for your Hyperbolic support

User:Why do I need to provide this?/UotM Thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:08, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Dammit!

What was wrong with my UnNews'??? Dammit man. Also... Banning is only really for users who don't know any better :) There are other fates available for the likes of you... We could make you an admin for example. That would teach ya. ;) MrN 19:28, Feb 4

*shudder* pillow talk 19:29, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

TECH-NO-LO-GI-CAL RO-MANCE!!

That is all. 9001(bot)  20:39, Feb 8

Ahh, it's so romantic. pillow talk 21:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Somewhere between...

...the Ghost Whisperer wiki and the Degrassi: The Next Generation wiki's ads at the bottom (the Pixar wiki, if you're wondering), I thought of you. sausage lol 13:36, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

Boop!

I heard you were feeling low and I just knew that would make you laugh. BOOP! -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:33, 11 Feb

pillow talk 00:49, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

I can haz Advice

I've been working on an article in userspace and I want your opinion on it, just to see if I should keep working on it. My main worry is that its overkill. --Mn-z 01:48, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

An Image for you

--Mn-z 01:22, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Votes for Good

A suggestion. On the immortal Votes for Good Good list, the articles which have later been featured on VFH are now striken. Why not unstrike, and maybe add also Featured in red-link, or some other form of indication that they've also been featured. But imnho I think it is an honor to be voted Good, and that those particular articles have a double-win. imnho. Al en'chains 2:55 18 3 mmx

Hmm. I could go either way on that. Why don't you bring it up on the VFG talk page and see if anyone weighs in? pillow talk 18:10, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

There's a VFG talk page? Sounds interesting, is it anything like the Gay Jesus Talk page? Will do. Al de'chain 3:20 19 3 mmx

Are you aware of...

This? --EMC ^[TALK] 00:45 Apr 17 2010

Ooooooh! You gonna take that from him, Hype?! —Pelozurian (talk) 00:51, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

I posted. Feel free to chime in. That son of a bitch gave YOU credit for that UnNews piece. --EMC ^[TALK] 01:27 Apr 17 2010

Yeah, I saw it when he decided to spam the article on Duckapple in my userspace over the course over several days. Apparently I hurt his feelings. Seems like the kid can dish it out but can't take it! Anyway, if someone could do me the favor of powdering his behind and telling him he's special, maybe he'll be able to get to sleep and he can leave the grown-ups in peace. pillow talk 04:37, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Hey you

You are neither funny, nor creative, nor an intelligent dude. Dismissed! --Duckapple 01:57, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSkype!

Hey! You! You need to visit us on UnSkype! We miss you! Love,   04:38, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I assume...

...you don't know him? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 11:38, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

It's the 16 year old kid who runs the website "Duckapple." He's sad that I made fun of him. pillow talk 19:44, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Does he understand the concept of abandoned works in progress? Or rooting around to find really embarrassing stuff? --Mn-z 02:25, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Yoooooouuuuuu!

You need to come hang out with us on Skype, because you rock and stuff. Love,  

Hey Autumn!! I just got Internet service hooked back up at my new house yesterday... hopefully I'll be able to come out and catch up with all y'all... pillow talk 03:28, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Features on VFG

The idea to not cross out the featured VFG but to list them as later FEATURED, which has been on the VFG talk page for about six weeks, has two votes to do that and no votes to keep the present style. Would you mind if I just went ahead and made it so, captain? Al sans chains 3:20 7 5 MMX

Fine by me. pillow talk 03:27, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you. I'll go do that and then we can see if it looks ok. Al sans chains 3:31 7 5 MMX

Done. Please check it out and see if you like it. Al sans chains 3:56 7 5 MMX

Eh, I dunno

That vote comment wasn't exactly reflective of my full opinion, I was just in too bad a mood and too big a hurry to properly express it. Figured I was hitting "cartoon mardy fit for comedic effect", but obviously missed the button. I don't know why I'm bothering to say this, because we both know it's not that big of a deal - guess I just haven't said hi to you in a while and wanted to. Hi, Hype! --UU - natter 08:19, May 7

Hey, UU! I understood, like, 20% of what you just said. Just wanted to give you a hard time about your unusual voting, there. Personally, I don't like the article, and I think it's funny that it keeps failing VFH and jumping back in the ring like some drunk palooka, so it was a no-brainer for me. Which is good, because no-brainers come naturally to me, for some reason. Good to see you! pillow talk 17:32, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, it was an unusual vote for me, I don't usually change my mind on something unless it's had work. I think it may have grown on me though - I did at least chuckle a bit when I re-read it after seeing the Wizard mocking me from the front page, and I thought - this article just made me laugh a little, so I can't justify voting against it. And then I chuckled again as I got to the last two pics, and I thought "that's twice, and twice more than the current feature", so time for a change. And because I was in a contrary mood, rather than trying to explain that, I decided I'd vote in a cartoon angry teenager/emo/whatever stylee. Which obviously didn't come across that well. And that's far more explanation than you wanted, needed, expected, or will read, probably, but there you go, that's the size of it. Hope you're well, and superb things are happening to you. I'm off now - there's a pie in the oven that requires my fullest attention. Always a pleasure! --UU - natter 19:28, May 7

Um...

That "Editing" part of your title was unintentional, right? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:03, 19 May 2010

Completely unintentional. I just hope your fixing it didn't disqualify me for the PLS. Mordillo can be quite the stickler. But it wasn't really an editorial change so hopefully it's cool. Thanks! pillow talk 16:23, May 19, 2010 (UTC)

Well, all I did was move them to the correct titles and adapt the links to the new titles. I may have been a little bit italic in my actions, but I'm sure you're still eligible for the PLS. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:03, 19 May 2010

iCarly rewrite

I'm trying to organize a community rewrite of iCarly in userspace. Basically, the goal use a similar process to that used in the deleted version, and hope for better results. --Mn-z 03:35, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Template:BUTT POOP

Another fly-by-night deletion. --Mn-z 22:04, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do, right? pillow talk 22:56, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Kill everyone? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:16, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

It was on VFD, it's shit, everyone agreed it was shit, it got killed -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 19:49, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

SUDDENLY, RACCOONS

...is one of the funniest (and weirdest) things I've ever read. Thanks for making a miserable old bastard smile. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:56, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Mr. Bole

The best illustrated article category is not just meant for images. It's meant for complete articles with originally photoshopped images. And I read from the PLS: "Based on how well an article's images contribute to the humor of the article. May be of an alternate namespace (images and article must be created by the user)". --EMC ^[TALK] 18:46 May 24 2010

I'm not entirely sure I see the problem. Suddenly, Raccoons is, in my view, a complete article - it's longer than at least half a dozen of our features. I created images for it, and the humor of the article lies within those images. I'm not saying it's the best illustrated article in Uncyclopedia history, but I think it is an illustrated article... pillow talk 19:43, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Over 9000 hours in MS Paint. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:53 May 24 2010

Or to put it bluntly, it's a load of shit and certainly not deserving of prize money -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 19:57, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Not so much this article, though that stands as well, but the other two entries in the category as well. Hence our decision. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:58 May 24 2010

Well, this is the certainly the first time that, within a span of a couple hours, one admin has described my new article as "one of the funniest (and weirdest) things I've ever read," and another has described it as "a load of shit." pillow talk 20:00, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not saying it's not funny, I'm saying that in the context of PLS, it's shit and simply not up to scratch in exactly the same way that I wouldn't award a prize to Fisher Price as part of PLS -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:05, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't even accept OJ did it as a legitimate entry on PLS, Hype. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:07, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I don't see why you're complaining. You have a strong chance of winning in the rewrite category. It isn't as though you were depending on the money from PLS to pay your electric bill or for some slut's abortion. If you really want Kipthedip's hair he donated, we'll gladly send it to you. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:02, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Dex, not to sound... contrary to the spirit of PLS, but I could seriously not give less of a shit about prize money. I've been planning to just re-donate anything I might win this year and save whoever the cost of a stamp. It just fucking sucks to spend a couple hours on something I legitimately thought was funny, only be told "That's a load of shit you put no work into and it doesn't even deserve to be read by judges." I'm all for extending the deadline, cancelling the prize money, whatthefuckever, I just think I'm getting the shaft being summarily told my article's too shit to even consider. Well, fuck, I liked it. Maybe my sense of humor's no good around here anymore. pillow talk 20:09, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

I could make a reproduction of your article in under 10 minutes, the only time consuming part is doing the initial raccoon cutout layer, after that it's all gravy. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:11, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Well, it didn't take just ten minutes to write. Things you wouldn't have to reproduce include coming up with the concept; considering which background images would make for the funniest situations - whether to go with iconic images, references to current events, or just keep it abstract; searching through Google images and flickr for pictures with the right aspect ratios, backgrounds, etc; considering how many pages are optimal; writing the copy; revising the copy. But, hey, you didn't like it. I get it. pillow talk 20:17, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

No, it's not just me, several people are in agreement. Regardless of the "thought" you allege you put into it, the fact remains that it's still simplistic bollocks. Now do try to get over your ego -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:40, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

PLS Competition

see this -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 19:55, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

This isn't personal

I hope that you just take a break and come back when things have cooled down, because I'd really hate to see you leave the site. --EMC ^[TALK] 21:03 May 24 2010

Hype

Your article is reinstated. ~ 22:31, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Where have you gone, Hype DiMaggio, Uncy nation turns its lonely eyes to you

Hi. You might as well take some time off, it's good to do that every month or so. But then come back, I don't think you want the terrorists to win, as the people of America have been fond of saying. And I want you to know I greatly enjoyed your Racoon article, it seemed very well done and thought out. I laughed heartily. Maybe because I like racoons. Lots of racoons. Nice work. Al des chains 3:25 27 5 MMX

FYI

I have Read your submission and have recorded my first impressions. (I used helium balloons to make my voice more hilarious for the recordings.) Soon I will review the history and other stuff & junk to finalize a score for you and the other contestants. That is all.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  28 May 2010 ~ 06:22 (UTC)

Hey Dude

So you know all that drama? It doesn't actually matter. It's like student politics or every show on MTV - entirely trivial. Just thought I'd point that out. Sorry to see you go -- shiny Ape (jam) (Riot Porn) 05:09, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

You've made your point, or multiple points. Now come back. Unless you're loving being away, then, Rule 3. Al des chains 00:33 2 6 MMX

p.s. And VFG probably needs a new archive. I'll pop it in on the next edit there if you stay away.

You Should Probably Come Back

Seriously, come back, we miss you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:21, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

What Guildy said. You helped me significantly back when I was a noob, and I think you're one of the more productive users here. I hope you come back. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:20, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Fucking thirded. Your funny rocks my jocks, and I didn't even know you left! I sad now. User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:32, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

If you're not TOAST, please return. (If you don't come back, that proves that you are TOAST.) IronLung 04:52, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

You Probably Shouldn't Come Back

Its never the same the second time round, are you clinging to faded memories of a better time, are they only with you for a pity fuck rather than genuine feelings.....when you look into their eyes on your VFH submission would you not have the doubts that they are only saying that they love you? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Sparta

Featured Article: Sparta

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

Since you aren't around at the moment, I'll just leave this here. Nobody will steal it or anything. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 21:49, June 25, 2010 (UTC)