User talk:Frosty/archive6
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UnSignpost - 29 December 2011
Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth
December 29st, 2011 • Issue 151 • I wrote something here!
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Goddamn Chief!
 Right now you might either be saying to yourself, "What the hell? How did someone other than Chief score the first slot on the Unsignpost? That egotistical jerk always gives himself the first slot!", didn't even notice that it was someone different writing this week or (and most likely) you're not even reading this, as you have a "real" life, whatever that means. Well that seems to be the case this week with our friend ChiefjusticeDS, as he released the following statement today at 13:42 UTC:
But have no fear, my lowly peasants, as, once again (as in, this has never happened before, and will probably never happen again), I, Magic man, swooped in just in the nick of time to save the day with my amazing power to write dumb shit really fast (no, seriously, this is probably not going to be finished until five minutes before it's scheduled to be delivered). Everyone should stop by my talkpage and tell me what a great, amazing, cool, fun, awesome, lovable, orphan-hugging, money-donating, saint I am. By the way, for anyone who was wondering, that's my rendition of Chief up in the corner there. I'm the editor this week, so I get to do what I want. This is fun! My attempt at actual news  Yeah, as it turns out this is a hell of a lot harder than it looks (I'm literally just looking over the dump to see what the hell's happened this week). Once everyone's done telling Chief what a worm-ridden, rotten, ugly, stinky, dick-sucking, shit-eating, dumb-ass piece of shit he is (because I'm sure everyone will obey everything I tell them on the UnSignpost), also remember to tell him what a great guy he is for doing this every week.[1] Anyway, TKF reached forty features, so that's fun. I'll put the link to the obligatory forum in that section over there (I'm pointing right now, but I guess you can't see me). Staying with the TKF shit, he also rewrote Sex. I meant to help him with that, but then I went out of town. Sorry, TKF. Anyway, it looks like it'll be featured (yeah, forgot to mention it was up on VFH. Everyone go vote for it). I won't go on about how great the rewrite is, 'cuz you can go read it yourself, but it is. And now to deviate from TKF (that sexy bitch): Al started a giant Just pennies a day-style collab here, and has been asking for everyone's help. So... go do that. In other news, Christmas happened, but no one cares about that. Well... that really didn't take up as much space as I thought it would. So... anyone got any ideas? I sure as hell don't. I'm sure there was much more important news that I'm forgetting, but who really gives a shit? I sure as hell don't. Damn, this is a lot harder than it looks. Welp, looks like the columns will be uneven again this week, not that anyone cares. I sure as hell don't.
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~ 
I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:52, 29 December 2011
4 hours travelling...
What part of Oz are you in/from? Pup 10:53 30 Dec '11
- Sydney, I went aaway for a couple of days to visit family, we came back late on Friday. So I was like "Hey I could go on Uncyclopedia" so here we are. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
22:01, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
- People have been given medals for less. So you weren't driving then Frosty...--
RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:25, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
- That is correct, remember how I'm 15 and thus not allowed to drive yet, and heaven help you guys when I can. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:26, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
- This is Australia. 4 hours driving gets me just to my next door neighbours house. Ah, neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. When you're next around Melbourne drop me a note and I'll buy you alcohol and hookers. Pup 12:54 02 Jan '12
- My parents fear Melbourne, with the reason it contains far too many people from Melbourne. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:56, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Pardon? Didn't hear that over the sound of the espresso machine. (And I'm at a café. Wearing black. I'm such a stereotype.) Pup 01:39 02 Jan '12
- My parents fear Melbourne, with the reason it contains far too many people from Melbourne. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- This is Australia. 4 hours driving gets me just to my next door neighbours house. Ah, neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. When you're next around Melbourne drop me a note and I'll buy you alcohol and hookers. Pup 12:54 02 Jan '12
- That is correct, remember how I'm 15 and thus not allowed to drive yet, and heaven help you guys when I can. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- People have been given medals for less. So you weren't driving then Frosty...--
History
Spoil of the sport. Come on, leave it vandalized until Romartus sees it. A new year's gift (Romartus knows I love the page, so he won't care, at least not too much). Aleister 00:28 2-1-'12
- He appears to have put a great deal of effort into that article, perhaps too much effort (250kb or something???!!!) to leave it that way. Plus he can ban you now, I'm really doing to a favor :P ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:33, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Spoil of the sport, spoil of the sport. Of course the effort is there, it is one of the miracles of uncy, one of our treasures. That's why it's funny: That after all that work that the History of Great Britain can be summerized in one gif. Romartus might laugh at it, which is the reason to do it (where are we, wikipedia????), because he knows I love the page. If he bans me then I will spend my time eating crackers and tying little knots out of fleshy things I have lying around. Better yet, you revert it back to the vandalization. Come on, go wild, live life on the edge! And happy new year to ya! Aleister 00:42 2-1-'12
- Consider it "fixed" damned peer pressure. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:49, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- I could give you a kiss but then I'd have to kill you. Aleister 1:02 2-1-'12 (look at all those 1's and 2's!)
- O_O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:04, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Have you seen "Oz"? I'm just finishing the fifth season going on the sixth, then I'll add onto the Oz article here. Weird show but compelling after awhile. It makes you want to stab people and blame it on your other friends. Aleister minutes later
- Nahhh, I can't be bothered to :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:07, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Then you won't know when I'll negotiate with Puppy to cut you in the shower or in the cafeteria line, and for that I will give him tits. Aleister 1:08 2-1-'12
- Bahh, he's from Melbourne that about uhhhh 1100 kilometers from where I live. Good luck! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:10, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Psst (in whisper). Look at the bottom of Mattsnow's talk page, and then maybe ask him to look at one of your articles. Hee hee huh? Aleister 21:03 2-1-'12
- Bahh, he's from Melbourne that about uhhhh 1100 kilometers from where I live. Good luck! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Then you won't know when I'll negotiate with Puppy to cut you in the shower or in the cafeteria line, and for that I will give him tits. Aleister 1:08 2-1-'12
- Nahhh, I can't be bothered to :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Have you seen "Oz"? I'm just finishing the fifth season going on the sixth, then I'll add onto the Oz article here. Weird show but compelling after awhile. It makes you want to stab people and blame it on your other friends. Aleister minutes later
- O_O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I could give you a kiss but then I'd have to kill you. Aleister 1:02 2-1-'12 (look at all those 1's and 2's!)
- Consider it "fixed" damned peer pressure. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Spoil of the sport, spoil of the sport. Of course the effort is there, it is one of the miracles of uncy, one of our treasures. That's why it's funny: That after all that work that the History of Great Britain can be summerized in one gif. Romartus might laugh at it, which is the reason to do it (where are we, wikipedia????), because he knows I love the page. If he bans me then I will spend my time eating crackers and tying little knots out of fleshy things I have lying around. Better yet, you revert it back to the vandalization. Come on, go wild, live life on the edge! And happy new year to ya! Aleister 00:42 2-1-'12
Why would I do something like that? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 
21:05, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
- ahhhhhhhhh, because it's fun. When the first guy did it, the new guy, he didn't know any better and it just looks odd. So I added on a page, and that's maybe funny (did you see the comment when Zarbag reversed that horrible vandalism you did on History of Great Britain?). Anyway, Matt can just delete it, he doesn't have to keep it on his page. Wait, the police are at the door....Aleister minutes in the future
- I see. I'll keep that in mind O_o ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 02:58, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
- I completely missed Al's tomfoolery. Yes History of Great Britain is the enemy of brevity...wait the History of Brevity is my next project...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:10, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
- I completely missed Al's tomfoolery. Yes History of Great Britain is the enemy of brevity...wait the History of Brevity is my next project...--
- I see. I'll keep that in mind O_o ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
A belated thank-you from an inveterate procrastinator
Greetings, Frosty. You voted for me on POTM for November, and also for Mexico lol.jpg on VFP, and for me on UOTM for December, and holey freaking cow, you also voted for UnNews:Son_of_Gaddafi_caught_attempting_to_enter_Canada on VFH. Now, obviously it's been a while since this happened. However, I figured that, while it can be too late to ask for forgiveness, it is never too late to give thanks.
(Also, it's quite clear you're fond of me. But I have to say...we should probably let our romance cool off for a while. People are starting to talk.)
Once again, thank you, and my apologies for not thanking you sooner. This impersonal, auto-generated message will self-destruct in 5 seconds. ~ BB ~ (T) 
~ Wed, Jan 4 '12 11:31 (UTC)
UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
January 5th, 2012 • Issue 152 • Stop, drop and roll!
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'Tis the season to be voting
 It's that time of year once again; the time when Uncyclopedians link arms and stride into the glorious light of a new dawn of a new year. It is also when we hold our annual brown-nosing competitions otherwise known as the yearly awards. Now you and all your friends can vote on Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year, RadicalX of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year as well as WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to go and vote on all the userspace awards. We were able to speak to Romartus as he prepared to start all his voting: "I don't know whose dreams to crush first!" he squealed at our correspondent like a child on Christmas morning; assuming that child was also frothing at the mouth and twitching. Thekillerfroggy got the awards off to splendid start on Sunday, by nominating Zombiebaron for both Potatochopper of the year and Uncyclopedian of the year and doubtless picking out a wedding dress for the day he finally plucks up the courage to propose to him. The homicidal amphibian also nominated Black flamingo11 for Writer of the Year and was incredibly sickening in doing that as well. Commenting on this in an off-the-record interview TKF said "It's January, the one month out of the year where we suck each other off for a while." If only we could have spent Christmas at his house. Alas we must now stop reporting on the substance of the nominations and votes as the vomit in the office is beginning to reach knee level.  The scores are far more interesting to report on since the usual practice of seeing who can concede to their valiant opponents in the most heart-warming fashion isn't quite under-way as nobody thinks they are far enough in the lead to risk it. Writer of the Year is being lead by Sog1970 who would doubtless be thrilled by the news were he aware of it, as it is he hasn't edited in ten days and was probably killed seven days ago in a horrendous tram accident. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Zombiebaron, TKF's husband to be. Naturally he had a comment to make and it was to say "Zombiebaron" to all his loyal supporters. Over on Potatochopper of the Year Lyrithya appears to be trouncing the competition already much to the delight of Aleister, we assume, we never understand what he's saying and our interpreter is out of the office until the end of the month. The only person this news will upset is Lyrithya herself who professes to find awards "Upsetting and distracting." This is apparently not compensated for by the unbridled joy of crushing one's opponents and asserting your superiority over your fellow man. The excitement! Who will win? Hold onto your hats folks there's another 26 days of thrilling voting to get through before we find out! From the desk of the Cabal: Resistance unnecessary in 2012
 Another year vanishes into the swirling mists of yesterday and it is once again time for the non-existent Cabal to address you, the filthy under-people. As always the Cabal wishes you a happy new year and is more than happy to execute ten filthy under-people for every filthy under-person who refuses to have a happy new year. It did not escape our attention that once again you have failed us. Last year we recommended complete compliance and abiding at every possible opportunity, yet in 2011 we saw two VFS votes, four new administrators and two new bureaucrats. It seems we must remind you that a secretive cabal isn't much use if everybody on Uncyclopedia is included within it. We also witnessed deletions of important pages in the name of "seeing how things work", namespaces, admin experiments and a skin change. You continued to persecute the weak amongst you and generally behave like the loathsome, occasionally funny[1], group of monkeys we know you to be. Your single saving grace is that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2011 closed a week before the end of the year, however the page is soiled with bacon, ponies and the unregulated prattling of Roman Dog Bird in no less than 30 of the reflections. Such foolishness does not amuse the cabal. Now our all-seeing eyes must turn to 2012. This year it is recommended that users unquestioningly accept any changes that may or may not be made to the wiki, editing should not be undertaken without obtaining a certificate of normalcy from your divisional sub-prefect, remain indoors, do not attempt to breach the walls. The good ship Uncyclopedia must sail onwards and without all of the filthy galley-slaves we cannot arrive at the distant shores of... well that need not concern you. That is all voters, you may now continue to maintain the complex.
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Greetings
I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. ~ 
18:57, 6 January 2012
- Uhhh, thanks I guess. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:44, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
Timestamps
Please use them, especially when doing things like nominating stuff on VFD. Makes it hard to archive them otherwise, but in general it's just a nice thing to do. ~ 19:44, 6 January 2012
- I use your VFD thingy in User:Lyrithya/tags.js which does not add timestamps. Should I just do it manually then? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:43, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
I'm going to need your expertise on this one
Dear Sir Frosty,
My family and I are planning on going on a trip to Australia sometime in the future, but they’re some things I need to know before we go. And considering that you’re an Aussie, I’m hoping that you could give me some tips on how to make this trip memorable.
- Name some hot spots that might be interesting for an American tourist such as me. (.e.g., Ayers Rock, the Sydney Opera House)
- I’ve seen Crocodile Dundee and I’m planning on having a Mad Max marathon; do you recommend any other movies that might give me a better understanding of the Australian way of life?
- Describe some customs and manners of Australian culture, PARTICULARLY ones that may differ from those in America.
- Could you give me a brief little lesson on the slang of Australians? (Because believe me, reading Uncyclopedia’s Australian-English Dictionary was not much help to me)
- What clothing would you recommend me to wear for my trip, so I won’t get too warm or too cold?
- This one is optional, but I’d be delighted to meet you in person, so if you could tell me your real name, along with your city and favorite hang-outs, we could maybe have a little get-together. (Please do not be disturbed by this request in any way. )
Okay, I think that’s all. Try to answer me as quickly as possible. And I’d prefer it if you’d answer me on my talk page, because it’s that important.
-Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 01:19, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
- You definitely want to watch the Castle. Pup 01:27 07 Jan '12
Thing
Yeah - it's in userspace, but there are starts that promise VFH worthy, and starts that promise VFD worthy. I'd like to encourage someone starting to use the resources we have to help before finishing something and finding it deleted. Pup 07:08 07 Jan '12
- I guess so. But its more encouraging to think they're on the right track, rather than just to post its bad, read this. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:19, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
- I could have said This is a delete-able load of shit that I wish I could erase from all existence. Pup 07:22 07 Jan '12
- I think pushing them in the right direction whilst disregarding your own personal opinion is uhhh better. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:22, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
- Which is what I did. Pretty bad comes from the context of knowing what doesn't work. Pup 07:30 07 Jan '12
- Although you're argument is overwhelmingly stronger than mine. I'll declare myself the victor and bid you good day :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:32, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
- I can't argue with that logic. (Although I am going to steal it.) Pup 07:41 07 Jan '12
- Bah. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:42, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
- Bah. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I can't argue with that logic. (Although I am going to steal it.) Pup 07:41 07 Jan '12
- Although you're argument is overwhelmingly stronger than mine. I'll declare myself the victor and bid you good day :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Which is what I did. Pretty bad comes from the context of knowing what doesn't work. Pup 07:30 07 Jan '12
- I think pushing them in the right direction whilst disregarding your own personal opinion is uhhh better. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I could have said This is a delete-able load of shit that I wish I could erase from all existence. Pup 07:22 07 Jan '12
Unununium
You plopped a random tag on Unununium. This is a fun page, and is very high up in the google search for unununium, which is why the first couple of graphs are more serious (to draw in the fish). Then it goes into a pretty complicated but coherent and tied-together story of an element which is discovered to have specific unique abilities to transform people and societies--but with tragic side effects. Please read it again, wrap your head around it, and savor the taste of unununium. Thanks, and I'm glad you are doing so well on uoty, well deserved praise aplenty. Aleister 12:46 9-1-'12
- p.s. I've just done some editing, thanks for bringing my attention to the page again. Um um um.
- I taggec a lot of chemistry related articles because they suck, I didn't think much of ununium but you have improved it somewhat... I'll remove the tag. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:18, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks. Um um um. Did you forget to log-in earlier, and leave the picture link at the bottom of my talk page? Or was it an actual IP who trolled my post above about "wrapping your head around it". A good pic too. Aleister 1:14 10-1-'12
- I didn't do it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:29, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
- On closer inspection I know exactly who that is "The Masked Crumpter" is actually just a user who trolled me by thinking he was an IP, sadly I can't divulge his name. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:32, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
- On closer inspection I know exactly who that is "The Masked Crumpter" is actually just a user who trolled me by thinking he was an IP, sadly I can't divulge his name. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I didn't do it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Thanks. Um um um. Did you forget to log-in earlier, and leave the picture link at the bottom of my talk page? Or was it an actual IP who trolled my post above about "wrapping your head around it". A good pic too. Aleister 1:14 10-1-'12
- I taggec a lot of chemistry related articles because they suck, I didn't think much of ununium but you have improved it somewhat... I'll remove the tag. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
UnSignpost - 12 January 2012
Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
January 12th, 2012 • Issue 153 • You may fire when ready.
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TAW!
 TAW! TAW! That's the sound the Article Whisperer would make if it was a bird! It isn't, of course, but you understand. This is the news that The Article Whisperer closed for judging on Monday. In MadMax's unending quest to prove himself more efficient than anyone who has ever run the PLS, the competition has already named the victor in the category Best Most Wanted Article, and the winner of the best article that you want the most to be the best was Lyrithya, who took the opportunity to disturb us all with an article on Twilight. In case you're worried you'll catch the gay from reading it, the crux of the matter, according to Lyrithya, is that things are hard, and having a boyfriend is impotent (it's like important but spelled differently). Speaking after posting the competition wrap-up 12 days before the competition wraps up, MadMax denied claims that he was jumping the gun somewhat, calling such suggestions "Preposterous pointless poppycock". Pleasing alliteration aside, preposterous pointless poppycock is very much the remit of the UnSignpost. The competition is accepting judgements from competition judges until the 16th; it remains to be seen how MadMax handles the usual competition finishing problems: everyone, including several people who didn't participate, tying for first place in one of the categories and one of the judges suddenly vanishing two hours before the deadline. Never forget that Aleister cannot be trusted.  A quick update on the yearly awards: Zombiebaron is still triumphantly leading the pack on Uncyclopedian of the Year, Lyrithya still hates awards and Shabidoo thinks the best way to get round this is to ignore everything she says. Satanic messages abound over on Writer of the Year, as all three leading competitors have scored six each; Mhaille is also present, scoring a much more acceptable four in his yearly quest not to be writer of the year. Potty is a much more straightforward affair with Lyrithya destroying all competition. Clearly she only dislikes competing for things when she isn't certain that she will win. That's all for this week; keep those voting fingers voting! Who Cares?
 Looking back at this shitty doggy smelly piece of shit, I cannot help but realise the true beauty of not caring. Through the days of editing, not caring has saved my life more than once. I didn't care about the mince pies. Nor did I care about the French and Indian War. I mean, seriously? A French and Indian War? LOL. Why am I telling you this? Because I want YOU to stop caring about something. Does one not relish the true beauty of not caring? Do you not see what are the results of this beautiful action could be? I told Magic man this and he turned me into a frog. Again. Anyways, if you stop caring about something, you will realise the true result of not caring! I mean, look, some users stopped caring about VFH, and let me tell you, they're having a wonderful time now! Well, except for one of the admins, who said: "Oh, Popsy! If you stop caring about articles, you're in trouble!". Oh, ha ha, nice joke. There appeared to be a problem for a while because after not caring about VFH for a few days, I couldn't edit any pages for a week. Weird. Some weird-ass picture popped out saying some bullcrap - "You can watch Uncyclopedia but you can't shag the shit," or something like that. My aim is to have a certain topic with so little caring, it should be under the Nobody Cares category. Can we do that? I think so! Just stop caring about something! I don't care what you stop caring about and you shouldn't care if I care that you are/aren't caring about what you normally care about! So what are you waiting for? STOP CARING NOW! Important announcement
You all remember the Pee Review? It needs more people reviewing. It also needs more people who say they're going to review things to actually review things, and people who request reviews to review stuff themselves. So this is an announcement announcing that I, Lyrithya, will feed anyone who doesn't review stuff to my cat. Seriously, she's hungry and I'm broke and this was the best thing I could come up with. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:01, 12 January 2012
Getting raped in the ass with a plunger
Sorry about that. I just thought that it was supposed to be mainspaced since there was a redirect to it that was created by another user. --
22:24, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- thats ok, the general rule is that only the creator can move it. However you probably did confused by the redirect thing and thats not meant to have been created either. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:26, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Hey!
Hey, Frosty. Been a while since I talked to you. Voted for you for Uncyclopedian of the year and I seriously think you deserve the award. Anyways, I came to wish you good luck.
Good luck, Frosty and stay frosty! --POP!GoesTheWeasel 
10:46, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
- haha thanks :) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:40, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
UnSignpost - 19 January 2012
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
January 19th, 2012 • Issue 154 • Remember to proofread! The red penis your friend!
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We're all going to die!
 Death is coming. What's that noise? Death. Who's that at the door? It's death. Death will come for you, just as it is coming for Uncyclopedia, freedom and the American way. This week sees the UnSignpost tackling two issues, the first of which is SOAP. January 18th this year was in fact something more than simply another day where I contemplated suicide as I trudged to the bus stop in the cold. This year it was the big exciting SOAP protest day. Uncyclopedia won't stand for SOAP, nor will it take it lying down. Wikipedia spent a tremendous amount of time coming up with the idea of blacking out all their articles to protest against SOAPn and while the UnSignpost, as you are well aware, often shies away from making political statements on issues such as this but in this case feels compelled to condemn Wikipedia for racism. We submit to you that blacking out ones articles on a day of protest implies that black is a worse colour than white, which as we all know is racist. Denizens of the internet, rise up - let Uncyclopedia protest by whiting out all of its articles because the only way to protest racism is to be racist but in the opposite direction. This SOAP stuff may seem dangerous, but a quick scrub and it's like you never used it; plus you smell nice. What a massive fuss over some SOAP. Next thing you'll be telling us that some sort of internet censorship programme is passing through the US congress, what an outrage that would be! Uncyclopedia, unfortunately, ignored us completely for that special day. Our suggestion of the slogan "Don't drop the SOPA!" was met with universal disdain; we even swapped a couple of the letters around to make it more passive aggressive. Racism abounded in the SOAP forum, with users suggesting black-outs, black-ins and white-ups. That is, until Matt lobster suggested that we simply make fun of Wikipedia like we normally do, then there was voting and then there were pop tarts. In other news, Uncyclopedia has no users and we are all going to die unloved and unmourned thousands of miles from home. Unless the latest figures are to be believed! Mattsnow has produced compelling evidence that Uncyclopedia is not in fact doomed. Speaking on Tuesday, Mattsnow said: "You can prove anything with statistics, which is why I've compiled this list of statistics to prove the other statistics wrong!". Obviously we attempted to get in touch with Dr. Skullthumper, who usually reminds us all why we're doomed and usually has a plan involving deleting most of our articles to save us from the fiery unpopular-on-the-internet circle of Hell. Unfortunately the good doctor was out, but there was a note reminding us all that Uncyclopedia is doomed and that we shouldn't believe a word of what Mattsnow says. We leave you to reflect on these issues, with Socky's analysis of the situation: "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!" Uncyclopedia turns the light switch off to protest Wikipedia's blackout.
All through the wonders of css and js, Uncyclopedia did manage something after all in a last minute attempt to mimic Wikipedia. And, just like on Wikipedia, by doing something as simple as disabling Javascript, users quickly found they could turn the light back on. Or they could have added " In conclusion, OMG, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:05, 19 January 2012
What is a game
There's been some argument over this in the past. Game:VMSCE I would consider mainspace, as it isn't a game. People have disagreed and put it back in as a game. God's answering service is a mainspace article, but up until recently it was listed on the games list. It seems that there is a concept that if there are "links" that take you one way or another it can be classed as a game. I don't agree, much the same as you, but I'm in the minority, so I've stopped arguing the point. Pup 06:41 21 Jan '12
- I'm all for huffing every game (even Zork), why? Well they aren't games really you just click a bunch of links and hope for the best really. Theres nothing particularly interesting about them as all. I gave up with in-jokes and games too, seeing as everyone loves them so much. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:43, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Zork, Oliver Twist, and Alone in the dark I would try and keep, as they are often pointless but generally funny. The rest of them I would be happy to delete. It may make you feel better but over the past couple of years we've managed to get rid of about half of them. It used to be that you couldn't put them up for VFD because you'd have to put up every subpage individually. Pup 06:51 21 Jan '12
- Well I wasn't here 2 years ago was I :D. I think a lot of the games are just people trying to create the next "Zork" or whatever. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:54, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Given we had Zork 2, Zork 3, Zork 4, Zork unlimited, Zork π, Zork Shareware, along with Grueslayer, Grueslayer 2, Grueslayer PVP, and a few others, I'd agree. The sad thing is many of these clones were created by people who hadn't even seen the game Zork was parodying. Pup 07:04 21 Jan '12
- I see, yeah thats hy games are so fucking annoying. Nothing original. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:16, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, I'd disagree with Game:Alone in the dark, but that may be vanity. Pup 08:00 21 Jan '12
- I see, yeah thats hy games are so fucking annoying. Nothing original. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Given we had Zork 2, Zork 3, Zork 4, Zork unlimited, Zork π, Zork Shareware, along with Grueslayer, Grueslayer 2, Grueslayer PVP, and a few others, I'd agree. The sad thing is many of these clones were created by people who hadn't even seen the game Zork was parodying. Pup 07:04 21 Jan '12
- Well I wasn't here 2 years ago was I :D. I think a lot of the games are just people trying to create the next "Zork" or whatever. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Zork, Oliver Twist, and Alone in the dark I would try and keep, as they are often pointless but generally funny. The rest of them I would be happy to delete. It may make you feel better but over the past couple of years we've managed to get rid of about half of them. It used to be that you couldn't put them up for VFD because you'd have to put up every subpage individually. Pup 06:51 21 Jan '12
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
CLICK HERE--ShabiDOO 09:59, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
- Is the fact that it's big supposed to make me want to click it O_O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:13, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Did you talk to Lollipop by e-mail? I always hope he comes back. 
Mattsnow 23:26, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
- He's on IRC now. He said he's quit editing or something, but he'll still be on IRC sometimes. Help convince him he should go back to editing. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:28, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
Asexuality page
Hi, on the asexuality page, the new version with the AVEN triangle was created when a few avenites were offended by the other page. When the original page was written, it was written by aces in a tongue in cheek manor in the spirit of Uncyclopedia. The new page reads as if it should be a part of the official wiki and it just doesn't seem entertaining for a site such as this. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 69.171.163.42 (talk • contribs)
- Is that an assumption or do you have inside knowledge? Pup 12:13 26 Jan '12
- I take that back. Thank you for pointing out that article to me. The current version is much better than the variant that you were trying to change it to. And thank you for point out the AVEN triangle to me. Until today it was a symbol I didn't recognise. I'm now going to use it as my twitter avatar. Pup 12:30 26 Jan '12
- Reverting sysops is bad, mkay? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:29, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
- Reverting sysops is bad, mkay? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I take that back. Thank you for pointing out that article to me. The current version is much better than the variant that you were trying to change it to. And thank you for point out the AVEN triangle to me. Until today it was a symbol I didn't recognise. I'm now going to use it as my twitter avatar. Pup 12:30 26 Jan '12
UnSignpost - 26 January 2012
All your readers are belong to us
January 26th, 2012 • Issue 155 • CAKE!
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Phoning it in!
 That is exactly what I'm doing, I'm actually writing the UnSignpost from a phone, my phone, I'm not a thief or anything. As such it is a thoroughly miserable experience mitigated only by the feeling that nobody will be disappointed when, tomorrow morning, the UnSignpost arrives in the manner you have all come to expect. So what's happening on Uncyclopedia? I don't know, I'm still waiting for all the tabs I opened to load! It's Wikia's fault, I mean what the shit is this? I remember when I could use the internet on my phone from a car on a dark hill somewhere in the East Midlands and it wouldn't mean the complete lack of any functionality in the device. We won't see the like of last week again soon! I tell a lie when I say I couldn't start Uncyclopedia, I made it to the main page. Naturally I sobbed for ten minutes because I don't have any messages, much like I do in real life before realising that I wasn't logged in. Then I sobbed for another ten minutes when I realised that didn't make the slightest difference to the number of messages I had. So we have a feature, it looks excellent and I'm sure it is excellent voted on as it was by a Zombie, a dog and a man from Belgium! The forums actually loaded quite quickly on this brick with internet access that the people at HTC had the gall to refer to as "Quietly Brilliant". IMAGINE MY SURPRISE AT THE FIRST TOPIC: Forum:Fix the mobile site. I for one can attest to the truth behind this request; the mobile site is about as easy to navigate as a rave in a hedge maze, and slightly harder to find your way out of. Have a splendid week, I'm off now. As soon as I find the save button.
Found it.
Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:26, 26 January 2012
- Thankyou bot. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:27, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
Images
Uh yeah, Sir Frosty, I made some images that I would like to share with the world of Uncyclopedia. What do I do to upload them to this site? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:44, February 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Special:Upload? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:26, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
UnSignpost - 3 February 2012
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
February 3th, 2012 • Issue 156 • There might be wild hungry cows on the loose!
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On Felonies And Awards
Hello. I was sitting in the study this evening, sipping imported white jasmine tea while reading Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus, Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 2 in E Minor proudly flowing into the room by way of a full orchestra I had composed of Hungarian slave children I'd purchased on the black market, when it suddenly hit me. I realized that there should be a way to communicate to the Uncyclopedian community (as well as our friends down at the Springfield Elk's Lodge, who hold a free shrimp buffet every second Wednesday) that the yearly awards for 2011 had been recently voted on, tallied, and awarded to their respective award-winners. Then it hit me, again! "Reginald," I said to myself aloud, severely confusing the few English-speaking members of my illegal young orchestra, "Why not personally drive across the world in an old Ford Torino, spreading the excellent news to everyone?" This idea was bound to work. In short, it didn't work. I'd explain the whole sordid tale, but I need to leave room in this thing for the actual news itself, so without further adieu (I do, too), here are your 2011 "...Of The Year" winners.
Congratulations to all winners, formerly prospective winners, nominees who didn't have a shot in hell at becoming winners, and Virgil Gordon of the Springfield Elk's Lodge, who last week correctly guessed the exact number of jelly beans inside of the mason jar that was set out in front of the lodge. Unfortunately, no prize was associated with guessing that there were 592 beans in the jar, as it was not intended as a contest, but as a mere decoration. In the future, the lodge will explicitly state the purpose of all jelly bean-filled mason jars by way of a small cardboard sign propped up against the jar. The Top 10 Articles of 2011 voting is also finished, but all of them haven't been re-featured and listed yet, so we're not going to mention that we know the winners until next week. Thank you for your support
 Good morning, Uncyclopedians (or evening, or possibly afternoon, depending on where you happen to be when you happen to read this). It is with high honour and big words that I announce that I have the utmost appreciation for your fine community here; for all of the squabbles on discussion pages and intractable behavioural issues demonstrated therein, you all have yet again exceeded even the highest expectations. Yes, you had the courage and decency to support me in my quest for wiki-domination, elevating my to the position of sysop, an endeavour for which I am tremendously grateful. As much as it would please me to richly reward you all for this show of faith, however, I must regretfully inform you that as a sockpuppet and general test account of User:Lyrithya, I am not actually authorised to act in any capacity exceeding the plausible scope of productivity and the odd prank or two. My sincerest apologies. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:09, 3 February 2012
Please, could you take the time
Please read the forum post I made regarding myself, and how I wish to be unbanned and allowed to make it up to you guys. Please read it! --Staaaampedo returns 10:27, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Link? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:29, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Forum:Me and my request to Uncyclopedia --Staaaampedo returns 10:32, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- lol deleted. You'd have to say some pretty appealing things to want you unbanned. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:39, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- I offered to help clean up vandalism in exchange for my old account and a second chance. --Staaaampedo returns 10:43, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Here it is. Prove your worth before Zombiebaron shows up. And don't bother posting here again, I'm going to bed. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:45, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- lol u got banned. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:37, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- lol u got banned. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Here it is. Prove your worth before Zombiebaron shows up. And don't bother posting here again, I'm going to bed. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- I offered to help clean up vandalism in exchange for my old account and a second chance. --Staaaampedo returns 10:43, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
- lol deleted. You'd have to say some pretty appealing things to want you unbanned. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Forum:Me and my request to Uncyclopedia --Staaaampedo returns 10:32, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
Hey
Just thought I should say thanks for the consideration on my rollback rights, which Zombiebaron pointed me to. Thank you very much! :) -- Lost Labyrinth 
• (t) • (c) • (a) 18:34, February 6, 2012 (UTC)
- You're welcome :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:20, February 7, 2012 (UTC)
pssst
you been thinking about your topic?
happymonkeycompetition@gmail.com :)
--ShabiDOO 00:16, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- Oh shit I totally forget about that. Kinda been busy, not sure if I'll actually be able to take part. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:52, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
About Cajek,
Should I block him? I'm very tempted to. What do you think I should do? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 01:12, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
- Nahhhh, Cajak is dead anyway so even if you could the joke would be kinda lame. And more nah.... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:12, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
- Wait, do you mean "Cajek is dead to me", or "¡Ay, Dios mío! Cajek es muerto!"? ~ BB ~ (T)
~ Fri, Feb 10 '12 7:44 (UTC)
- Still dead. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:46, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
- Still dead. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Wait, do you mean "Cajek is dead to me", or "¡Ay, Dios mío! Cajek es muerto!"? ~ BB ~ (T)
UnSignpost - 10 February 2012
I love it when the news comes together
February 10th, 2012 • Issue 157 • Ack! Ack! Ack!
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Something happened this week.
 In the coming days, the aftershock of these events will come to a screaming peak, as countless forum topics are created, talk-page flamewars are started, and before you know it we're experiencing a virtual Titus Andronicus effect being enacted upon our peaceful wiki. When asked for comment, Modusoperandi will say something unrelated, yet witty, and we'll all step back for a moment and realize what's happening to us. We will then continue on in our back-and-forth for an indeterminate amount of time, probably zombifying the topic several times over before it finally fizzes out later on down the line, then being re-awoken and used to adopt new site policy. This, in turn, will spawn a similarly detailed UnSignpost story, if we're still around by then. Personally I blame this all on the one who was holding the watermelon at the time. You know who you are. You disgust me. Shit Happens Shit Happens all the time. Lets say ... you're drinking some kind of soda and it accidentally spills onto your shirt. Or you are biting on a burger when you accidentally choke to death but nobody cares. Or your penis falls off. Anyway, my point is, there are some negatives in life but you must learn to tolerate them .. especially when you're a fat ass who sits in your room spending your entire life consuming hotdogs and giggling at comedies on television while jacking off to classical fucks and trolling on the Internet which is absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. So always be positive, even when your balls drop off. Or your penis. Or even your cat. Because as you know, the World isn't fair ever since some dick with an ass of a triangle set foot on this Earth. So get used to life, and if you can, get used to the dicks who banned your ass and spammed your page which is also, absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. Oh, and always remember to stay on the bright side even if you are found lying naked with an underwear eight times the size of your penis and you get arrested, get thrown in jail, get beaten up by a kid who apparently isn't a kid and get castrated unintentionally while having a sandwich crammed down your throat trying to squat in a cell and you finally get out after 5 years only to get run down by an ass in a car and you get admitted to hospital but a doctor feeds you the wrong medicine and you rot away and die and you get dumped into the sewers. So remember kids ... always be posi-  |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:22, 10 February 2012
Wait a second.....
Cajek is dead? Seriously, is he really dead, as in deceased? Or are you just pulling my leg? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:14, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- No, I mean he doesn't edit much these days. IRL stuff I guess. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:15, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
Your happy monkey topic
Your topic my dear Frosty is: The emperor of Barbados.
- Write the article on your namespace
- I'll be judging the articles based on creativity, originality and cleverness.
- Good luck, you have until tomorrow night (23.59 UTC, 6:59PM ET) to finish.
(happy monkey just picked his nose and but at the same time!)
--ShabiDOO 11:58, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Rightio. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:20, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Barbados doesn't even have an emperor its a constitutional monarchy, Elizabeth the second being the monarch >_< ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:25, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Then why on earth would someone come up with a topic like that!?!?!? --ShabiDOO 21:28, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Obviously, because if you give someone a topic they can't deliver on than the person in question might get one they can and win by default. Geez. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:30, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Obviously, because if you give someone a topic they can't deliver on than the person in question might get one they can and win by default. Geez. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Then why on earth would someone come up with a topic like that!?!?!? --ShabiDOO 21:28, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Barbados doesn't even have an emperor its a constitutional monarchy, Elizabeth the second being the monarch >_< ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're now on Uncyclopedia.
It seems we're the last guys that just do that, or am I wrong? I raised the topic on IRC. There are also users who didn't receive any welcome message at all! (Well I guess after 2 days, it's kinda late) Mattsnow 04:41, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- lol i know. At the moment I'm trying to write an article on a topic that doesn't exist. I tend only to welcome users at night anyway (my night) because that's hen the wiki is at its slowest and nobody will give a shit if I spam up RC. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:43, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Would you be cool enough to include this pic in my welcoming message: File:Welcome beach!.jpg I don't know anything about how to do shit like that {{subst:welcome}} ~~~~ for now, so I guess if you could just take the message and include it with like 400px ( but do whatever looks good) and rename that say {{subst:welcomeMattsnow}} that would be great. Whatever the link name is, as long as it has the pic and is different. Much love snowman!
Mattsnow 04:54, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- If you ant to modify the welcome page, copy the {{Welcome}} code. Paste it to {{User:Mattsnow/Welcome}} and modify it to include the image you wish. Then, when you welcome users, just type {{subst:User:Mattsnow/welcome}} ~~~~ :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:57, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- If you ant to modify the welcome page, copy the {{Welcome}} code. Paste it to {{User:Mattsnow/Welcome}} and modify it to include the image you wish. Then, when you welcome users, just type {{subst:User:Mattsnow/welcome}} ~~~~ :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Would you be cool enough to include this pic in my welcoming message: File:Welcome beach!.jpg I don't know anything about how to do shit like that {{subst:welcome}} ~~~~ for now, so I guess if you could just take the message and include it with like 400px ( but do whatever looks good) and rename that say {{subst:welcomeMattsnow}} that would be great. Whatever the link name is, as long as it has the pic and is different. Much love snowman!
Uncyclopedia:Deletion Policy
Read that please. There is a definite guide to what should be considered QVFD, and what is {{ICU}} or {{Fix}}. QVFD is reserved for one liners and obvious vandalism. Macintosh, which you just added to QVFD is pretty bad, but it's neither of these things. It is a coherent article - albeit not a very attractive one and with a concept that really is sub-par - and the author (of which there was a single predominant author) should be given the opportunity to fix it before it goes bye-bye. Just deleting the article is not encouraging potentially good writers. Pup 02:11 12 Feb '12
- Macintosh is actually a part of the Happy Monkey. I tried to move it into the dude's userspace, but I'm not sure he understands what that means. -- The Zombiebaron 19:11, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- It's not part of the Happy Monkey. The guy added the article to list well into the contest because he didn't realize what it was. --
19:21, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Oh, ok. -- The Zombiebaron 19:28, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Well basically in reply, since the deletion is not instantaneous the state of the article when you looked at it was probably different to the state it as in when I added it to QVFD. I do not reserve QVFD for just crappy one liners, if it's an unformatted paragraph of unfunny I will add it and 99% of the time someone deletes it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 20:55, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Fair point. I guess I consider one liner to also include one paragraph, and at the time I posted this I didn't realise there were quite so many smaller revisions. Never mind. Nothing to see here. And the Happy Monkey confusion has been fixed (I think) for all those playing at home. Pup 10:07 12 Feb '12
- lol, ok. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:42, February 13, 2012 (UTC)
- lol, ok. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Fair point. I guess I consider one liner to also include one paragraph, and at the time I posted this I didn't realise there were quite so many smaller revisions. Never mind. Nothing to see here. And the Happy Monkey confusion has been fixed (I think) for all those playing at home. Pup 10:07 12 Feb '12
- Well basically in reply, since the deletion is not instantaneous the state of the article when you looked at it was probably different to the state it as in when I added it to QVFD. I do not reserve QVFD for just crappy one liners, if it's an unformatted paragraph of unfunny I will add it and 99% of the time someone deletes it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Oh, ok. -- The Zombiebaron 19:28, February 12, 2012 (UTC)
- It's not part of the Happy Monkey. The guy added the article to list well into the contest because he didn't realize what it was. --
The saddest page ever
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fuck you, Frosty. He's asleep. NOT DEAD. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Feb 14 '12 1:05 (UTC)
- o_O Pup 02:40 14 Feb '12
- I'm not heartless enough to post dead puppies. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 04:18, February 14, 2012 (UTC)
- Do you email them instead?
Pup 06:50 14 Feb '12
- I put this comment on the vote page, but it may get huffed soon so I'll leave it here too:
- I liked the original version, with the word running over the top of the page. Interesting coding? The page would be much better if it were true to its name, "puppies", and add more large pics with each one being funnier than the last, with puppies/dog which aren't dead but either look close to it in a funny way or dogs that should be dead. Has potential, although some people might actually thing the first pic is a dead dog which is one of the only no-nos here (showing corpses or huge wounds). Aleister 10:53 15-2-'12
- Failed VFH nominations never die; They're just archived away. Pup 11:12 15 Feb '12
- I know that, I've just used the word huffed so much lately it rolls off the typing finger. I edited a page earlier and then minutes later had to go back to fix a newly created red-link. Aleister 15:17 Valentine's Day Boxing Day '12
- Failed VFH nominations never die; They're just archived away. Pup 11:12 15 Feb '12
- I liked the original version, with the word running over the top of the page. Interesting coding? The page would be much better if it were true to its name, "puppies", and add more large pics with each one being funnier than the last, with puppies/dog which aren't dead but either look close to it in a funny way or dogs that should be dead. Has potential, although some people might actually thing the first pic is a dead dog which is one of the only no-nos here (showing corpses or huge wounds). Aleister 10:53 15-2-'12
- I put this comment on the vote page, but it may get huffed soon so I'll leave it here too:
- Do you email them instead?
- I'm not heartless enough to post dead puppies. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- p.s. and here's some dead puppy image ideas for your browing UnPleasure. Al.
Titles
Frosty, about how often do you change the title on your userpage? (I'm asking this to get an idea about when I should decide to give a new heading for my page.) -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:50, February 18, 2012 (UTC)
- {{Title}} ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:58, February 18, 2012 (UTC)
- I think the question was about the regularity, not the methodology. You can always do like I done did to my signature and give it a bundle of random things to choose from. Pup 01:05 18 Feb '12
- Oh right, oops. Whenever I feel like it I guess. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:06, February 18, 2012 (UTC)
UnSignpost - 18 February 2012
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
February 18th, 2012 • Issue 158 • This is the place to be for the end of the world show.
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Important competition news As you all are no doubt aware due to paying the utmost attention to that which goes on around you, there was a competition this week, or possibly last week, or at very least, at some point relatively recently. This competition was the 2012 Happy Monkey Competition, in which various contestants competed to do something possibly monkey-related. According to the sitenotice, it is wrapping up around now, waiting only for the judges to show up and do their damn jobs, or, as the case may be, leave already so the janitor can clean up; it's not the competition hosts' fault you're homeless, and it's not their job to provide you with shelter past the allotted judging hours. What the rest of you may be less aware of, however, is certain controversy that has inevitably sprung up about this contest. Allegations of unfairness in proctoring and judging and a general lack of effective organisation and topics have no doubt sprung up, as they invariably do with every competition. Complications have also indubitably arisen from the tendencies of certain individuals to simply do things without asking, and of others to ask first and then ignore the responses. Rest assured, for the cabal is watching, and all who disturb the order of things will be dealt with accordingly.  MOAR PENIS
Penisman has been sorely under-utilized as of late. In fact, he's been sorely under-utilized as of recent, and sorely under-utilized as of the past while as well. I just have one thing to say about this... Prepare for World Domination
After a pro-longed session of drinking high-quality whiskey and smoking imported Cuban cigars, the fate of the world was finally decided between the Oli brothers. The western world, under the dominion of the English Empire and her colonies, would come under the complete control of King Olipro, while the eastern world consisting of the USSR and the powerful nation of Monaco would come under the control of Head Commissioner Oliphaunte. The two leaders would then combine their powerful empires into one global superpower and conquer all the little nations with their armies of pirate robots and Flying undead pilots. After which, a spaceship made completely out of cotton balls and masking tape would be launched to conquer Mars, Saturn, Venus, Uranus, and Neptune. Not Pluto, though, because that's no longer a planet. Instead, the two Olies will construct a replica Star Wars deathstar, which will be painted completely blue to avoid copyright infringement with Lucasarts (George Lucas now owns nuclear devices and becomes unstable when his trademarks are re-created without permission), and will use it to blow up Pluto for the hell of it. The planets will then be under the jurisdiction of the top friends of the two Olies. Saturn will go to Zombiebaron, Mars will go to Lyrithya, Neptune will go to Black flamingo11, Venus will go to Dr. Skullthumper and Uranus will go to Mattsnow simply because he wouldn't stop laughing when we told him Uranus was conquered. Now that the plan and been decided and the gears are in motion, it's only a matter of time before the entire world is conquered by Uncyclopedia, and everyone will be forced to contribute at least one article everyday about how great their overlords, Oliphaunte, Olipro, and friends, truly are! Mwhahahahahahha. Ha? It was then that Oliphaunte woke up in a back alley somewhere in Atlantic City with a dozen empty bottles of whiskey, a bag a hemp, and a calling card for male prostitutes. There was also a note next to him that read, "You got drunk and threw up on my living room rug, so I flew you to Atlantic city, beat you up, and left you with a bunch of male hookers. Also, stole you Hageen-Daaz from the freezer. -Love, Olipro." Oliphaunte then realized that the plan for world domination was just a dream...Oh well, at least he has rollbacks now. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:54, 18 February 2012
Greetings
My question as a new member is: How do you upload a picture?
On the above tool bar, there is an icon that says 'insert a photo gallery or slideshow. I've attempted to click on that..maye two dozen different times and it excites my computer, freezes it and almost goes threw a Crash type of mode.
I'm looking for a browser like all the other sites that allow you to upload.
Oh great wise Frosty. Tell me what to do
Will
(aka wllmlos)
- Special:Upload and follow the directions. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:44, February 23, 2012 (UTC)
- I've been trying to work out what you're looking at. The icons for edit look like
to me. Are you seeing a different set of icons? Pup 05:20 26 Feb '12
- I've been trying to work out what you're looking at. The icons for edit look like
UnSignpost - 23 February 2012
Better sign it.
February 23rd, 2012 • Issue 159 • FUS RO Journalism!
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Softly softly, happy Monkey
Now we here at the UnSignpost would be the first to admit that our coverage of the Happy Monkey Competition has amounted to less than the laser show of words that you were probably expecting. It is a sincere regret of the UnSignpost that it has been unable to provide any sort of meaningful coverage of a competition which describes itself as 'pure awesomeness' on its signup page. The competition successfully concluded this week and Aleister in Chains was declared the overall winner. We were privileged not to catch up with Aleister regarding this, and you shouldn't consider it either. In second and third were ICameHereInACloche and Xamralco, who lost slightly less than everyone else. For those who don't know how the scores for the Happy Monkey competition are calculated, it is by a simple process of getting the judges to rate an article out of ten in a table, much like this one, adding all their scores up, then throwing them in the bin and letting Shabidoo decide who the winner should be. The UnSignpost is very impressed with Shabidoo's ingenuity in overruling the opinions of his peers and stomping on the faces of his enemies. Those who enjoyed the Happy Monkey should take note of Shabidoo's next competition which he calls "Forced labour in a Salt Mine, while I eat grapes and sit on a deck chair". The competition has furnished Uncyclopedia with sixteen new articles. A splendid achievement; asked just how he had done this by Mattsnow, Shabidoo replied: "Raisins! Never underestimate the alure of raisins!". The UnSignpost fervently hopes that Dr. Skullthumper is still reading the UnSignpost so that he can take this knowledge and use it to save us from ourselves, a task he accomplishes at present by lurking on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel and successfully saying the word 'penis' more than anyone else.  For the fans of long unbroken blocks of text among you, this week saw the arrival of this forum in which Thekillerfroggy sets out his agenda to sell Uncyclopedia to "the man" piece by piece. He also thinks that we should bring back cash prizes, introduce a daily editing charge and require that an article can only be featured on the front page if it also attempts to sell the reader discount Viagra. Finally an administrator who isn't afraid to say what we're all thinking: "When am I ever going to get some sort of financial return for editing this humour wiki?". The last word this week goes to Modusoperandi who asks: "Is there code to keep the ads and hide the pages?". The Forum
 TheHappySpaceman just can't wait for April Fools day. He's so desperately excited that he has started a forum in which we can all plot and scheme about just how we will take in the entire world this April 1st. ICameHereInACloche wasted no time in suggesting that we make Uncyclopedia good for April fools day and was, quite rightly, kicked down a flight of steps by Olipro, who pointed out that it's April fools day and not Christmas. The discussion is needless anyway since I have already decided that we should do absolutely nothing for April Fools day. Except, and here's the catch and the really clever bit, we make it look like we have. We'll all sit on IRC going "Lol" at all the plebs who arrive on the website going "OMG WHAT'S CHANGED???". Shabidoo wants to know what your name is! It's not creepy at all! There's a lot of discussion going on regarding huffing! No need to read any of it, just remember that you should FIX IT, DON'T {{FIX}} IT. Administrators take note, or PuppyOnTheRadio will come to your talk page and make you feel very bad indeed. The bad news is that BHOP still exists and TheHappySpaceman is using it to plug his very own award. He could least haven chosen something that Aleister might not win every month. In conclusion: don't go to BHOP. It's not nice there. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:45, 23 February 2012
Good job
Besides your other great edits I have to congratulate you on this one Good job. Keep up the good work. :) -- UserTalkContributions 05:13, February 28, 2012 (UTC)
- uhhh. Thanks. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:21, February 28, 2012 (UTC)
errr...no...
Hey, man....dont wanna bitch about shit, really....wanted to thank you for the intro page(i noticed the talk page in the village or whatever the fuck its called....dump?...anyway...), and mention i did a couple edits, one was on the do this page(again, or whatever the fuck its called), and i hope my sense of humour doesnt end up with a conservapedia style lynching(horrid site, but i found you through them, so...god works in mysterious ways, eh?)....tnx, and good absolute nonsense to us all!
- um... what? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:37, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
UnSignpost - 1 March 2012
The edition that's black and white and dead all over
March 1, 2012 • Issue 160 • You are all about to die.
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Nothing.
So I got up this morning, ate some breakfast and watched some television, ya know, just normal morning stuff. Then I decided it was time for me to check Uncyclopedia, as I do every day. So I walk over to my computer, turn on the screen and bring up Safari. I go to Uncyclopedia, log in and what do I see? Oh, I'll tell you what I saw. This thing that I saw was so terrible, I almost died. What I saw was... NOTHING. C'mon, guys, can't you do anything? Start a competition, a new exciting forum, even drama! Anything! I mean, I can't be expected to entertain myself, can I? And to any of you smart-asses out there who tell me that nothing is something in and of itself, shut up and go fall in a hole full of pointy objects; you know what that would be helping by telling me that? Take a guess. News? For those with eyes in their brains and mugs in their ale, it should be clear that all manner of very important things have been occurring in the news. Or is this the news? Well, you get the idea. Apparently Uncyclopedians, Shabidoo in particular, think there is something wrong with the site. While this is indoubti-bi-tubby the case, a more pressing concern we must bring up is this: has there ever been anything right with the site? Today the scare involves NotM, a highly prestigious award won by all the people who aren't here right now, and how it creates problems in regards to new editor retention, despite the minor issue that we would have to have new editors in the first place in order to retain any of them. Another scare involves the complete lack of sufficient delete votes on VFD, along with the fact that Sycamore wants to decrease the maximum number of active votes there to 14 when 15 would in fact be a much more round number, and to decrease the score required to delete things from 5 to 4, when 5 is also a much more round number. We suspect Sycamore just has something against round numbers, probably due to some childhood trauma or something, unless it turns out that these are the wrong notes and it was someone else who wanted to do all that. Everything's so blurry.  In other news, Wikia broke the site again, our illustrious admins keep forgetting to update the feature queue, VFP is lacking an appropriate number of votes, containing only the nominations of three images by Zombiebaron, who demands that more people vote for them because pi is awesome, and Uncyclopedia needs more sharons. And I really need to lie down. Profit! Profit! A word that has dogged Uncyclopedia, most especially those pages doomed to huffing, for years. A concept that we, as a community, have overlooked in our time, and need to bring the focus back to.  A user has recently pointed out that as a community, we are forgetting this one fundamental principle. Our growth - nay, our very survival - depends on this principle. We need to become part of the corporate machine to further our plans of world domination. To do this, we may need to advertise, and to pay for quality submissions. Now many of you may be afraid of this. Change can be frightening, and after all, our last venture into the world of capitalism has left us falling short of the desired funds to The point is, ladies and gentleman, that profit, for lack of a better word, is good. Profit is right, profit works. Profit clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Profit, in all of its forms; profit for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And profit, you mark my words, will not only save Uncyclopedia, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much. Editor's note: This is most certainly not a veiled attempt by the resident money launderers to give them something to launder. The people want this. They already have a number of ideas relating to the promotion and growth of the site, and want your feedback so they can have feedback! Yes! |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:23, 1 March 2012
Ban patrol
No. I would like to stay with showing examples on how to ban users. I think it's more efficient for the admins to see what they're doing. -- UserTalkContributions 23:48, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, I was trying to save you some time. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:39, March 2, 2012 (UTC)
Noob of the month
lol, Why am I nominated for the n00b of the month? -- UserTalkContributions 22:13, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
- For all your effort. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:39, March 2, 2012 (UTC)
Frosty...
I remember we've talked this thing before... Yeah, about edit conflicts... But don't worry, I ain't gonna kill you. I was going to do excatly the same thing you did. So I believe it's a place of thank you's... Yeah... So thank you for saving my precious life time... Thonx. OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 10:08 3 March 2012
- hahaha! Neiner! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:09, March 3, 2012 (UTC)
- NEEEEEIIIIIINNN! OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 10:14 3 March 2012
- yeah that too. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 10:15, March 3, 2012 (UTC)
- yeah that too. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- NEEEEEIIIIIINNN! OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 10:14 3 March 2012
More about The saddest page ever
This is all right Frosty, better than anything I could ever cook up. But I'm not certain if you want to mainspace this. (Although you could probably remake this article in five seconds)
Nice dog; and could you read this article I wrote and then send me feedback on my talk page? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:02, March 4, 2012 (UTC)
- Will do. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:55, March 4, 2012 (UTC)
What do you think I should do?
...I'm sure it's just me, but I'm worried that Aleister in Chains might be cyber-stalking me. I'm saying because last time I was on Uncyclopedia, Aleister was paying attention to every post I made; I wouldn't exactly that he's watching my every move, but I'm just wondering what I should do, because it was definitely odd that someone was paying attention to the things I posted on other people's talk pages. What I'm trying to say, is that I think my privacy's being invaded. .....Or maybe not. Anyway, tell me what you think.
Thanks. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:07, March 7, 2012 (UTC)
- Aleister's probably just trying to be friendly, I wouldn't worry about it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:47, March 8, 2012 (UTC)
UnSignpost - 8 March 2012
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
March 8th, 2012 • Issue 161 • The most recycled periodical on the internet!
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Vote for Change
 There have been rumblings on the wiki this week, and not just because someone in the UnSignpost office insists it is their human right to have three kebabs for breakfast. These are the rumblings of discontent, and they stem from the behaviour of several users on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. Frosty was decent enough to create a forum in the Ministry of Love explaining his discontent with pretty much everything IRC. Those of you who are fans of long blocks of text with lots of unnecessary swearing will not be disappointed as Frosty delivers Uncyclopedia's first blockbuster of 2012. The crux of the issue is that the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is not unlike my back garden, dangerous to enter alone for fear that Olipro will burst from the undergrowth and verbally assault you before hiding in the shed. There appear to be several views on this issue, besides the obvious; the UnSignpost sat down with Socky to discuss how we could fabricate a quote from him this week and he didn't say "I propose that all who argue should be put to death". Determined not to be outdone when it comes to simmering discontent with our benighted wiki, Lyrithya weighed into the forum to say that she too was disgusted with the present situation and something should be done. It's both worrying and strangely comforting that you can always rely on her for this particular viewpoint. The rebuttal to all these dissenting views has been varied, mostly involving admitting that yes Olipro and Dr. Skullthumper are an acquired taste and that everyone should generally go back to the important task of Speaking of maintaining the wiki, it is with great pride and the greatest pleasure that we bring to you more reforms from the keyboard of Dr. Skullthumper, Uncyclopedia's lead innovator and blue sky thinker. He proposes that in order to make new users feel welcome we should abolish Noob of the Month. Don't look at us like that; it makes complete sense to me: new users plus no awards equals a better Uncyclopedia. That isn't strictly true, as PuppyOnTheRadio suggested that instead of having a system by which we award one user the award per month we stack the new users up and treat them as though they were articles on VFH. This will at least kill two noobs with one stone, as nothing proves quite so heartbreaking as having your first article stomped on and then thrown into the bin because it "Lacks cultural significance". You could then change to the VFN page and watch yourself be stomped on and then thrown into the bin because "His/her articles lack cultural significance". Users interested in this plan should report here and support Thrak Thrak the destroyer of Worlds: May his power endure eternally, praise be, praise be to use the name he uses in his welcome message. Oh and in case you had forgotten, Thekillerfroggy still wants to sell Uncyclopedia to the man, man. Our pessimistic thought for the week goes to Electrified mocha chinchilla, who urges you to look on the bright side by saying: "Uncyclopedia will die if we do not make a conscious effort to expand our presence on the internet, thereby reaching a wider audience and attracting more contributors". So to conclude:
Only you can prevent forest fires, is what we would be saying if it was time for forest fire week again. It's not. Instead it is almost time for another Conservation Week! Unfamiliar with Conservation Week? Want to learn more? Why not head on over to the page and do a spot of reading? Or don't; trust that our summary of the rules is gospel and just start writing. Basically you rewrite articles so that they are no longer suitable for one of Dr. Skullthumper's templates of doom. Having completed your rewrite you gain a point, and you want to have more points than everyone, especially HauntedUndies, who is the Team Rocket of Conservation Week. Honestly, it's true. You can enter the competition for the low low price of ten English pounds, which goes towards oiling the gears and cogs of Uncyclopedia. Your article should also contain at least two pictures of a Monkey, regardless of the subject matter. Well? What are you waiting for? HAH! False start; the competition isn't running just yet, and updates could come from anywhere, at literally any time. Check out the forum and await further instructions. |
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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:21, 8 March 2012
hey
im gay, heard you were too Tetsujin is gay (talk) 00:26, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
- i gay, wanna be butt buddies? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:41, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Come quick!
Me and Lyrithya are in a debate right now; you gotta help me before she does something terrible! -The Honorary Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:40, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
- I'd fear worst, but ok. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:41, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Hey
Can you come on IRC for just a moment? -- UserTalkContributions 02:36, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I am on IRC, lol. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 02:37, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
St. Patty’s Day
Are you wearing green today, sir? Matthlock 
21:34, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- As it happens, yes. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 22:37, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Good thing then. Right on, right on. Matthlock
23:39, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Its a very dark green... o_O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:49, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Its a very dark green... o_O ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
- Good thing then. Right on, right on. Matthlock
Thanks
And a down wet and smiling St. Patty's day to ya!!! Aleister 1:10 next day
- umm... what did I do? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:12, March 18, 2012 (UTC)
The Pea Buddy Awards
We need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Mattsnow 00:33, March 20, 2012 (UTC)