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Happy Meal · The Big Mac · I Lovin' It · Nutrition Facts · Order · Dollar Meal

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Today's Value Meal

The McDonald's is an international temple-chain where worshippers put sandwiches made of "meat" and "bread" to the altar and let the robed priests disassemble these foods and put each food components into a refrigerator. Only by making foods return to their original status, can they please Ronald McDonald, the God who created the franchise.

McDonalds is also the name for a terrorist organisation whose purpose is to ruthlessly slaughter young children by feeding them McPoison.

A little known mom and pop's in western Indiana , McDonald's is hailed the world around for its heart-friendly diet and secret "meat" in its chicken nuggets (coincidentally, which a North Korean once told me tasted suspiciously similar to German Shepherd) . The most common given name among the employees is Topeka and Pippi. Another strange coincidence is the McDonalds locations with petting zoos as play areas, which has animals constantly rotated. supersize...

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Did You McKnow...

...that Ronald McDonald is watching you?

...that Ronald McDonald has more power than Oprah?

...that McGwax likes McDonald's?

...that George Bush has connections with the McDonald Empire?

...that your mom is doing Ronald McDonald right this minute?

...that Al Roker consumes Value Meals every hour, on the hour?

...that Al Roker shits said Value Meals every hour, on the hour?

...that even Jesus can't resist the occasional Happy Meal?

...that I'm going to McHell for saying that?

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McNews

Pickle shortage at McDonald's restaurants, resulting in a total of fifteen order screw-ups.

Ronald McDonald arrested for selling dope to kids, McDonald says that he would do it again.

Ronald McDonald's Activation Station found to contain subliminal messaging. Subliminal messages include "Eat my shit" and "Suck my McCock.

George W. Bush chokes on his Happy Meal toy. The president will be spending the next couple of days in intensive care.

McNews – Radio Free McLunch

On this McDay...

McJuly 11: National Bow Down to Ronald McDonald Day

1939: Ronald McHitler begins world conquest.

1942: The McEmpire develops the potent and highly addictive sweet and sour sauce with its original name, "Soße, die sowohl Süße als auch Säure ist und die Erde versklaven wird".

1943: World gains 28lbs as a result of too many McNuggets dipped in the sweet and sour sauce.

1945: McLard® is added to the menu. Millions gorge.

1948: Ronald McDonald enslaves the western hemisphere.

1968: The Big Mac is introduced. Eastern hemisphere submits.

2005: The Bush Administration launches attack on the McEmpire.

2005: George Bush enters local McDonald's establishment with the intent of purchasing one Happy Meal.

More McAnniversaries...

Today's Featured McPicture

McDonalds shows the public how its sandwiches look much better in real life than on T.V.

Image McCredit: Loke
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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