Portal:Music

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The Music Portal
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Music, first explored by Charles Darwin in the 1800s, is often considered an art form. It typically features a rhythm or beat, though some argue that it functions more like a hypnotic tool used by artists to sell CDs. When music is played, it often makes people want to dance, as its infectious rhythm seems to take control of the body. This effect is sometimes attributed to music's ability to disrupt the nervous system. Some scientists even suggest that music could be a form of disease, which may explain the premature deaths of famous musicians like Elvis and Jesus. Drummers, in particular, seem to suffer the most. Interestingly, those with no musical talent—like birds or bands such as Blink-182 and Oasis—are said to be immune. Ultimately, music may exist solely to drive listeners mad. It can take many forms, including singing, strumming, or blowing, all of which can push the boundaries of sanity. (See more...)

Featured Article
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So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you.

Written by GlobalTourniquet
Music in the News
"What?"

VIENNA, Austria – At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue..."

Written by Modusoperandi
Featured Image
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50 Cent was decried by his peers as a nepo baby due to his famous ancestor, 50 Schilling.
Image by Marinos
Featured Artist
And so it was that the Misunderstood never came to pass.

This particular misunderstanding began when fate decided to try her hand at unpopular music. She created five unwitting suckers along with DJ John Peel. Then she brought them all together and the boys conspired as rebels with a cause of being Yardbirds-wannabes, while John became their mentor.

Although just a rag tag band from California's Hayseed-meets-Hollywood Inland Empire, by 1966 Peel had teleported them to another reality, far far away, in "fab" London, where they became Psychedelic Music icons, like, NOT! In London town the band were enticed with promises of bread and water into signing a pact with the first company to giva-a-shit: Fontana Records.

Written by Rsbj66
Featured UnTunes
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Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
Yo homies, my rhymes are much better than crack
So pull up a chair and put down that smack
And don’t get in my face cuz my man’s got my back
It’s the Middle Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
Check it out, G. Am I a bad buttocked mother hugger or what? Ha ha ha!
It’s the American dream, the life that I got – 2 kids and a wife, a Beemer, a dog
I’m not so good looking and I got a big gut
But I’m white and I’m rich and that’s more than enough

(Full lyrics...)

Written by Todd Lyons
Further Reading
Genres
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