User talk:Orian57/archive8

This should have been here several hours ago. Sorry.

rape. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:32, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

YEAH! YEAH! I DID IT! WOOO! NO EDIT CONFLICT OR ANYTHING! HELL YEAH! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:33, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh noes... I mean, huh? This is your life goal? Raping your... uh... other father? Go to your room! Or not. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (18:15 11-8-2008)

Put In A Fucking Header In Future For Fucks Sake You R-tard!

No really! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:36 29 September 2008

sorry, Orian ;_; -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:00, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh great now I have two! Geeze you fail! You know I'm kidding, right, my lover? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:02 29 September 2008

No. No i didn't. T_T -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:06, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Sorry I forgot you were retarded American, You see we British folk have a very dry sense of humour. Meaning that sometimes we say nasty things like we mean them when we really don't. *Hugs RT, the poor mentally disadvantaged sissy boy* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:09 29 September 2008

It's ok. I forgive you, you crazy british son of a bitch :D *hug* -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:11, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Forgive me? It was you that was in teh wrong! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:12 29 September 2008

GO FUCK YOURSELF! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:14, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

You meanie. You make me sad @:-( even though I have an afro. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:19 29 September 2008

Hey is this the fuck yourself club? Cause...like...I...uh...oh hey! RT, has daddy taught you how to fuck yourself yet? - [15:35 30 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

no... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 15:41, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Well then I say we have a debate. How about a maths one? Gotta love that joke, cause he OMG OMG OMG OMG - [15:47 30 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Whut? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:49 30 September 2008

Gasp! Orian doesn't get it either! I thouht it was cos I'm american :P -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 15:50, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

It sounds a bit like one of teh maths teachers at my old school. He aparently used to do maths debates, like why pie is 3.14 as apposed to 3.13 ect. it was never funny though. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:58 30 September 2008

Maths debate, guys? Seriously, that's hilarious. Some funny shit, that. Maths...debate...ah ha ha ha hah ha! - [18:04 30 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Ohhh! I get it! :D god, i'm slow... -_- -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 18:41, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

No seriously, what the buck? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:12 30 September 2008

That guy's voice gets on my nerves. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 21:32, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

I think it's meant to, i just like the bit in the title music where he gose "love you bitch" and "I whip it out whenever I can". SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:36 30 September 2008

Dude...DUDE!

Have I just been not seeing you around here, or are you just not around here? Dude, where you been? The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 23:51, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Dude, don't panic, dude, I'm still here, dude. Granted I haven't been doing anything useful, I haven't written or reviewed recently. I have however been patrolling Count to a Million and Yettie's talk page. Also has any one noticed that lack of signpost this last few weeks? Oh and happy October first! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:41 1 October 2008

How could you not notice Orian? He's like everywhere - out there, in here, over there, inside me, under that thing. Everywhere this guy is. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:47, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Are you calling me fat? *Has a compleate breakdown and sobs over a bucket of double choc ice cream* *sniff* You meanie! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:07 1 October 2008

Oy! No cryin' down there, fatty! The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 20:41, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

What...? *gasp* *sniffle* I- I thought you loved me!!! *wails* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:42 1 October 2008

Don't fret, Orian, I still love you! (platonic-ly, of course) /holds Orian close, but has chastity belt on just in case -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:12, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

/Tears off RT's clothes and forgets about lubracant. I *grunt* love you *grunt* too! *smack* Bitch! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:13 2 October 2008

Godammed defective chastity belt! Hehehe did anyone notice that "chastity" has "titty" in it? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:52, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Well damn these faulty condoms too. Sorry/Congratulations RT you're peregnant! I'm not paying for the abortion, and if you keep it I don't want anything to do with it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:49 3 October 2008

/me aborts RT's baby It's... for the better! Yes... /me laughs evilly while running away with the fetus Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (18:20 11-8-2008)

Well that wasn't disgusting... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:04 8 November 2008

So... why did Methy re-re-register with an exclamation point? Or... what? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:25, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

I forgot my password to both my yahoo e-mail and my account. I added an exclamation point because not many people say my username without it (seriously, when it's at the end of a sentence). Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (20:11 11-8-2008)

UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008

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October 2^nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

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Check out these pages! Feature Kitten Huffing (Again)! Sarah Palin hates kittens Our kitten overlord returns, bearing a gift From our logs: 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 12:16, 23 September 2008 Cajek (Talk | contribs) blocked a kitten (Talk | contibs) with an expiry time of 4 hours (it's lonely in the ban room, i want a friend) 19:01, 24 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.236.90.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I tire of your actions. Begone, ye pointlessness, from yon wiki.) 06:59, 1 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.106.6.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Pro Cat-in-the-hat vandalism? I think the internet just hit a new low.) Biopic of the Week DJ Irreverent: HAS A LIL' KITTEN!!! Old School Featured Article of the Week Kitten Huffing is the newest form of street activity that is corrupting the youth of the nation. Your nation, that is. By ingesting kittens nasally, one can enjoy a euphoric 'high' of sorts, complete with snazzy colors and loss of motor skills. A prepped kitten awaiting huffing is pictured. Kitten huffing has spawned many parodies and non-existant memes, but the act of snorting live kittens is no joke. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Enjoy the time you spend with your kitten this week because...um...just in case... see more horoscopes People with Kittens this week This guy. Sabbatical of the Week Zombiebaron has taken an extended leave to ease his undead mind and change out his forest-green blood. He may or may not be traveling to some of the most luxurious and tropical destinations that Canada has to offer. He may or may not still ban you while he is away. His sabbatical may or may not be kitten-related. Stay tuned to the UnSignpost for the latest developments on ZB's location.

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-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:36, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh hey RT! What's with all the kittens? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:55 3 October 2008

USP loves pussy. Also, hello! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:02, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

Quick!

Nom me for NotM! Why? I dunno! Just dew it! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:21, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

But you've been here for ages! Havent you, you've been here at least two months... Haven't you? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:22 6 October 2008

Well, yeah, but I wanna win something. BADLY. So yeah. You know what? I feel like making up an award. Like... um... i dunno -_- -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:30, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

RVotM? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:31 6 October 2008

RV...? OH! Um... well... um... no. I mean cos I'd really be the only one who'll win it... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:34, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Well actually it occured to me after I hit save, that we could have something where the victum of the funniest talk page rape gets an award. or maybe the person who commits the rape gets teh prise and we have RotM. meh. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:37 6 October 2008

I was thinking of something completely out of the blue with really convoluted requirements. Like KSotM or GJFRotM or something. I want some more OJ. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:45, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

What does "convoluted" mean? And I dunno, I thought mine was funnier simply because it was a little closer to possible. Meh on that note, I've writen something SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:11 7 October 2008

I personally think that Happeningist Talk Page of the Month should be an award.... just flinging it out there (along with a ball of string, two chewed biros, a three eights eaten chocolate bar, some ice cream, some pubes, an iPod, my penis and an easy button) - [21:16 7 October] Sir FSt Don Yettie 21:16, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Yes! Also, convoluted, is like uselessly complicatedSUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:30, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Ah I see. Thanks for the vocabulary lesson Mr Tenenbaum. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:11 8 October 2008

UnSignpost: October 10th 2008

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October 9^th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!

Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube This week the first UnTunes was uploaded onto YouTube, the video sharing site so weighed down by copyright infringements that it certainly would not float in the tub. Our staff couldn't be bothered to watch the video, but we assume from the description of the foray that it is some sort of archival recordings of Oscar Wilde being awesome. The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours.

Check out these pages! Be nice to n00bs! Poop management A modest proposal From our logs: 17:23, 4 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked AdamtheSpud (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Thou shalt not create stupid MySpace vanity; nor shalt thou spam links to it across the site, lest ye be smited) 02:00, 6 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 100100100 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus rang. He hates you for blanking your neighbor's article. Also, he says he caught you mastrubating the other day. They're reserving a spot in the ninth circle of hell for you. Enjoy!) 23:50, 6 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.147.9.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Excuse me my kind sir, but may I please ask of you what the fuck you're doing?) Biopic of the Week The Thinker is an Uncyclopedia powerhouse. He was last year's bestest writer and is the proud papa of 17 featured articles (and proud co-papa of a further 14). He has won numerous awards for his writing skills, journalistic style, and sexy baritone. His fame and fortune stem from his daily routine of cleansing the body and spirit. Old-School Featured Article of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships is an annual Swedish tradition dating back to simpler times, when the joy of launching rodents into a lake could light up the face of the young and old alike. However, protests and scandals have recently threatened this once-great occasion, and interest has dwindled to the point where the land of Sweden is once again littered with unlaunched rats.

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— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:46, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Show-offy Spam

(guess which one's me!) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:56, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Umm, were you the one that was idling in the hall as the two guys ran passed? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:05 11 October 2008

Hehehe nope! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:25, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Were you the informant guy? the guy behind the counter with glasses? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:35 11 October 2008

Hmm... I'll let you choose which one, just so you won't be disappointed by my looks :D -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:40, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Actually there was a guy in the background, just as the guy in white came down the steps. Background guy had a nice ass. 2:09 is the frame i'm looking at... Actually i have a sneaking suspicion you were Stephen. Which one were you? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:46 11 October 2008

O_O Background guy is really Aznshugo ... and my best friend. I'ma tell him you thinks he has a nice ass XD anywho, which one would you be less disappointed by? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:52, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Doh I thought he was there by accident XD. erm I dunno, er I'm-- would you rather I found you atractive? It's just that... er. oh crap I don't like this game... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:03 11 October 2008

Well, nevermind then! Um... um.... aren't The Cranberries great? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:07, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

No they're not. Now tell me wich one you were before I say anything else I might regret. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:10 11 October 2008

The weird looking one behind the desk with the glasses and the underbite T_T -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:13, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

I thought this might be a clue Although that's when I've combed my hair and my tie isn't all tangled up... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:18, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

oh I forgot about those, well nice to meet you. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:24 11 October 2008

(To RT, just to clear up the confusion) Sooo... speaking of the fact that the whole movie's in Spanish... where were you born? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:25 11-13-2008)

God, Methy, stop invading my old conversations -- do you know how long this took me to find!? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:02 13 November 2008

In California, it's just that the movie was a project for Spanish class :P. Oh! and I'm making another one! And this one'll be a million times better. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:34, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

<sarcasm>A million times better! Wow! But isn't that setting your self up for a HUGE challenge? </sarcasm> SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:02 13 November 2008

nuh-uh! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:10, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Cloverfield!

Cos it's too hard to reply on Yettie's page.

Yeah! I saw it when it first premiered in the states. I waited in a line two blocks long... but it was worth it! (cos I had a coupon) Also, it seems someone transcluded that page onto itself. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:56, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

I got it for £8 (that's like $20 or something) from Woolies, although I wanted to see it in the cinima. You're right though dead worth it! Brilliantly written and I loved the camera-eye-view (like with Diary of the Dead, except it was slightly dissapointing, the whole slow zombie aspect is so dated and, please, hell over flowing? Satan is a property developer, for fucks sake!) actually made it scarily real. Also if you pause it at just the right moment you can see the monsters arse hole which is always fun, weird bestiality porn. Not to mention that Rob guy was pretty hot. I'd hit that for sure. Other than the fact it was exactly like Godzilla in every way, it was a damn fine film! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:06 17 October 2008

Ack! The monster was a bit disappointing, though. That Abrams guy said it was going to be the most original monster evar! or something. It wasn't. I liked the whole mythos that surrounded the film too. Like that big "slusho" thing... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

I liked the monster, looked like someone that would stick up for you in a fight, though it did remind me of things from the Metroid Prime games and even TimeSplitters. The parasites were interesting, I thought they were it's babies at first but then I watched the extra features. I have no idea about Slushos though. I don't even know what they are. Cloverfield actually has to be one of the first films I've seen and known almost nothing about in advance (adverts are to revealing nowadays don't you think?). SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:17 17 October 2008

Well, it's like some giant backstory (the slusho thing) that's only alluded to once in the movie. Apperantly, there's this stuff at the bottom of the sea that makes things giant and ugly. This japanese drilling company was using it for some reason in their slushos (icee or slurpee thing) and some underwater thingy ate some and turned all evil. And the connection!?! Rob's brother is wearing a Slusho shirt at the beginning of the film. The end. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:23, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh, cool. I would never have noticed that. So the monster is some kind of ocean mutant? That's NOTHING like Godzilla. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:28 17 October 2008

I dunno. There's also something about a slusho satellite that awakens the monster or something. it's all over the internet and we just added to it! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:30, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Go us! Would this satelite have been called Cloverfield by any chance? There's also a conspiracy theory in the movie Hud asks if it was the government. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:35 17 October 2008

I dunno the name of the satelite, but I think "Cloverfield" came from a freeway near Abram's house or something. Disappointing... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:34, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

I think it's kinda cool. I am actually watching it again as I type still fun. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 22:43 17 October 2008

Could you pump this up for me...

Hey, I cooked this up, but it still needs something...croutons? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:27, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Where's the linky :S SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:46 17 October 2008

Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar? Weren't they suppose to bring the linky instead? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:10, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh I dare say, my link delivery men are useless, I may have to let them go if they don't improve. And I shall see what I can do, I like the title anyway! :) SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:13 17 October 2008

Sorry I haven't got back to you in ages, I was busy and then asleep for sixteen hours. I really liked it! It had some really good lines (particularly the second caption Dude, your feelings are valid, but you are so lame...) and was pretty solid. I think it might need another picture towards the bottom just because once you scroll down it looks like it doesn't have any. The quote I'm not a fan of (but don't take that personnaly it's just me default), but if it must stay modify it so it reads: ...song that I call Feelings... as that would tie in with your later gags about homemade songs. I liked your comparison with whiping out a guitar and pubplic indecency, that made me laugh. I think this could probably be featurable, so good luck with it! :D SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:09 19 October 2008

Clichéd?

Naw, I wouldn't say that you're that predictable, but you know that some things naturally follow some other things, and I'd have been disappointed if it hadn't happened. Nice to have you about Orian, as always. Now, when are you going to inch closer to that Diamond Dumper? --UU - natter 15:52, Oct 20

Ooo! U.U. chasing me all the way over to my own talk page. How lovley, I'll make tea. Yay I'm not that predictable! :D I did half do that review I tagged and I'll finish it soon. I pwomise. Also do you know about SysRq's talk show? If you have twenty three minutes of your life you have something against this is a good way to annoy them. I'm going to be on it soon, when he finishes chopping up what I actually said to make me sound like a total doofus. Oh and aren't you married now? Wouldn't Tittyfuck rape be like adultery or something? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:07 20 October 2008

Don't mind me, I'm still away, but I have to say I'm bored enough to be listening to SysRq's thingy (hooray for having this page on your watchlist) and I have to say: Oh. My. Bloody. God. —–Sir Heerenveen, KUN UotM RotM VFH (talk), 20/10 16:19

You're still away but checking your watchlist? Interesting concept. And it is a little disturbing isn't it? Wait till you hear my voice and what it had to say at 2am (when I did the "Interview"). I'll probably regret every syllable. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:24 20 October 2008

I have that fancy/annoying (take your pick) watchlist-edit-causes-email thing, and it's kind of hard to ignore your own email! Never mind every syllable, I'll bet your regret every letter. And the punctuation you speak with. That's a bitch. —–Sir Heerenveen, KUN UotM RotM VFH (talk), 20/10 16:39

Oh I have that, but only so a little message pops up on my screan and I know when to check my list, I almost never actually look at my e-mail so I probably have thousands of notes from wiki. And thanks for the confidence vote! :D SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:49 20 October 2008

UnSignpost: 21 October 2008

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May contain traces of humor!

October 16^th, 2008 • Twenty-Second Issue • Now with 40% more Batman!

Uncyc Users throw Support Behind Joe Plumber By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedians today officially declared their undying allegience to Joe Plumber, a newcomer in the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Plumber was thrust into the spotlight last night at the second of many dreadfully boring presidential debates between those two or more candidates currently jockeying for the office. His name was mentioned no less than twenty-four dozen times by the candidates, with each claiming that Joe sided with him on issues such as healthcare, tax increases, and the 'Canada Problem'. One candidate even went so far as to claim that he and Plumber were 'buddies', and that Plumber installed a new bathtub in his palatial presidential candidate mansion last July. Several prominent Uncyclopedians spoke out in vehement support of Plumber, citing his many qualifications to be the leader of the free world. "He's a maverick in the plumbing industry," said staunch pro-Plumberer Colin "All your base" Heaney. "He also has a plan to live the American Dream, through the infinite wisdom of buying his own plumbing company. America needs dreamers, Gerry." Despite being asked to stop commenting, Heaney went on to say that Plumber "cleans people's pipes on a regular basis." Other supporters of Joe Plumber's campaign and platform included inanimate objects such as TheLedBalloon. "The most important thing to know about Joe Plumber is that he is AMERICAN, in bold italics underlined and all caps, just like that." When asked to give another example of how patriotic both he and Plumber are, Mr. Balloon replied, "Just picture him standing in front of a flag with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background, and you'll know why I support his presidency." Current polls show Plumber trailing in the presidential race, with an estimated zero percent of all voters. His backers are trying to spread the word about Joe's tax relief plan, his rugged good looks, and his skill with a pair of slip-nose pliers. Uncylopedia Issues Food Stamps By Gerrycheevers Due to the recent downturn in the economy, Uncyclopedia officials have issued hundreds of food stamps to users who have no means of feeding themselves. These users might be out of a job or have no arms. In any case, these food stamps are to be given out on alternate Thursdays, except for odd-numbered months, months ending in 'y' or 'r', and April. They will be available at the Uncyclopedia Meat Depot, the boron smelting plant, or by calling the new food stamps hotline. These food stamps will be valid for purchasing a wide variety of nutritious and delicious items from the Uncyclopedia Farmer's Market and Livestock Emporium. Included are items such as pre-packed huffable kittens, gummi grues, and AAAAAAA! cookies.

Check out these pages! Happy days are here again! For the greater good of the Empire Weekly 'Uncylopedia sucks' forum, right on time From our logs: 06:45, 10 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Wp 815 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Blanking pages is so Emo. Now go write about it in your Livejournal.) 16:46, 13 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked You can shove your wiki up your arse. SIDEWAYS. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎(I'd come up with something witty if I wasn't too busy eating.) 09:01, 14 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Nihilist909 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Whatever it is you're doing, you shall not do that anymore. At least until tomorrow.) 12:23, 15 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.15.183.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(What's the Thai for "fuck off and stop vandalising our website"? Whatever it is, kindly do so.) Biopic of the Week With one of the loudest userpages you'll ever see, urine aficinado and making-stuff-up-as-you-go-along expert Orian57 is, among other things, pleased to not be a Power Ranger. Just don't look under his mattress. From the Desk of the Cabal Firstly, there is no cabal. However, if one were to exist, it might remind citizens to leave the Uncyc offices well before dark, as the streets are generally safer in the daylight, and Cajek continues to feed the gremlins after midnight. In addition, whatever organizations intended to ensure public safety might happen to exist might also happen to enforce a shoot-on-sight 7:00 curfew. These guidelines are still useful, even though there certainly is not a cabal.

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--Sycamore (Talk) 09:48, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm bored.

Do something amusing. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:45, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Nevermind! I found something to do! Wanna help? :D-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:44, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

It looks pretty funny, not sure if it can be carried across a whole article though... I'm kinda working on this Holliday project for the moment and It's going to date faster. Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:32 23 October 2008

Despoiling Userpages?

That's new... --UU - natter 10:21, Oct 23

Oh is it not cool any more? I'm sorry, Mordillo just did it to Syc -- he's not cool too! Go embarrass him! Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:23 23 October 2008

No, Mordillo despoiled Syc's talk page. There's a subtle difference... --UU - natter 10:28, Oct 23

If you had any idea how red I've just gone... Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:30 23 October 2008

Not cool eh?--Sycamore (Talk) 10:36, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh geeze you're here too? Why not bring everybody around and you can throw rotten fruit at me. Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:37 23 October 2008

me/ Lobs half eaten Jaffa Cakes:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:38, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Mmm tangy! /me confort eats... Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:40 23 October 2008

/me eyes ban hammer ~ 10:50, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh noes! I'm in trouble! :( I didn't mean it -- isn't the hummiliation enough? Blame Yettie he's been a bad influence! Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:52 23 October 2008

I'll just ban Cajek instead. ~ 10:53, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

*sighs with relief* That seems fair enough. Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 10:55 23 October 2008

I think Orian's got it right here. Fight the power! Throw some scorpion's down the man's pants! Eat a dookie sandwich! That'll show 'em. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 00:59, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

South Park?

Lol, hey, do you watch South Park? Cause I love dat Show! It's Da SHIT!--Black Suga Baby Gurl Speak up! 00:37, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

I just creatd a new header for you as this is a totally different topic. And sometimes. Personally I find it very hit-or-miss. Can i ask why you're asking? Sir Orian57~Sweets~Talk 00:49 3 November 2008

See here...

Look here, mate, I don't appreciate you just barging onto my talk page and flaming Yettie like that. Is it really that much wonder he prefers me? Some of us just...have it, you know. Oh, and before I forget, vote for me. BlueYonder - CONTACT

You don't have shit! You're just another one of his hussies. Also I'll give it a look. Also I'm not yettie normal talk page rules apply here. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:26 5 November 2008

Don't call me a hussie, mate; Yettie trusts me. Notice how he wanted to do that competition behind your back? He doesn't trust you to take care of your own baby! But me...I'm going to make him a template. HA! Also, look into it faster; it's loosing life as we speak. BlueYonder - CONTACT

You know I'm only joking about with the insults, me and yettie just bully each other, you must have noticed. Also I did read your article, and I'm sorry I didn't like it much. Quick advice would be to cut it back by quite a bit to make it sharper, as it is it feels like too much of teh same joke for too long. Also use {{cquote|quote here}} boxes for longer quotes, makes it look better, but you should break up really long quotes with phrases like "And then he went on to say" just so it's not throwing everything out all at once (unless that's a desirable effect). The concept is quite good and I'd say featurable, just not as it is for my vote. Also I'd be happy to sign over my paternal rights, for Unprv. It just screams and demands attention I'm too busy playing GTA4 to give. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:46 5 November 2008

'Course I know you're just joking; I'm not that inexperienced anymore. If I happen to make any homophobic comments toward you at any point, I'm also joking. And if you don't like it, vote against it; I don't want special treatment around here. And I really don't see how you can put a video game before Uncyclopedia, which is so much more involved, but to each his own. BlueYonder - CONTACT

Ok then. Well good to talk, we havent before much. Cept from reviews but they're deliberatly impersonal. It's just I'll feel bad vating against your when You voted for mine... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 21:29 5 November 2008

UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

November 3^rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!

Address Change: Return To Sender? For those of you with your heads buried in the sand, or who choose to concentrate on writing articles, or who don't ever look at address bars, or who don't care: Uncyclopedia's domain name has been changed by evil communist oppressors Wikia. If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident: Sannse tells us Wikia have decided the domain is changing. We don't get any say in the matter, but do get to suggest ideas for the new name. Lucky us. Fuck.Wikia.Com is a popular suggestion with all except Wikia. Lots of people get angry, Zombiebaron sticks his undead head in briefly, Codeine adds a Bill Hicks clip railing against the evils of advertising, lots of people sign a petition threatening something vague if the change goes ahead. The change goes ahead. There follows an uncoordinated response, during which some users go on strike and do nothing, some users open the wiki up to vandalism, and some users get pissed off about it. The UnSignpost goes on strike for a week in solidarity, and doesn't, for example, miss another week due to the laziness of editors. Oh no. The change is of such profound magnitude, it even brought Mooses out of self-imposed exile. Briefly. Sort of. The community decides an uncoordinated response isn't working, and tries to get its shit together. There are even attempts to elect a Cabal to deal with the issues. The self-defeating nature of attempting to establish an Uncyc Cabal is not lost on some. Skullthumper solves the problem. Sort of. If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary: Shit happened. People got pissed. The world has so far failed to end. More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! The UnSignpost is pleased to be able to report that, after a two-month self-imposed embargo, popular poopsmith MrN9000 has made a glorious return to using underwear references in his daily conversation! The dam finally burst at 23.06 on Oct 22nd, and all those who know him could feel and share the relief, the release of that pent-up tension and the sheer untrammelled joy of their favourite user with a pair of tits in his sig. Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment.

Check out these pages! ALL CAPS v Ban Magnet. Modus gets vaguely irked. Did we miss doing a Hallowe'en issue? From our logs: 09:26, 20 October 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.217.149.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're interrupting my essay writing. Unless you plan on writing my essay for me, fuck off.) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 18:03, 22 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.70.120.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Your friends do not interest us. Your sister does.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) Biopic of the Week Sexy, Pompey-supporting bureaucrat Codeine has probably banned you. If he hasn't, he probably will. Soon. Viewed as one of the most diligent and trusted admins on the site, Codeine has probably been here longer than you as well. And he'll probably be here long after you leave too. Deal with it. VFD kept article of the week French accent. Zo, you zink ze article iz zaveabeule? Zut alors! Well geurd leurck weez reewriteeng eet zen! Meurdeus, Preetiestpreeteey and 'yperbeule 'ave made a stert. Cajek ban of the week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

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Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:41, Nov 6

No, that's not a euphemism. --UU - natter 11:41, Nov 6

YOU!

What the fuck are rollback rights and why do you get them? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:33, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Because. Go look at U.U's talk page. Then go ask Codeine. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:38 7 November 2008

Oh. coolies. By any chance, do you happen to have a coop, deep, movie-narrator type voice? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:36, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

I do, but I charge $2.99 for the first minute and $0.99 for every minute after that. sirsysrq @ 01:45 Nov 7

get back on skype you tink. Also RT not really. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:00 7 November 2008

I have skype! I can haz fun? Also, SysRq: damn. I'm, like, on several levels of broke here... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:42, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Get on the Skype. A lot of us are on there now. My name's alexguitarsex. And for group, its free. sirsysrq @ 02:46 Nov 7

Hey RT what's your Skype name? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 02:55 7 November 2008

Well, i'm sorta sharing my current account with my uncle... will what ever we're doing show up in any records or history or anything? (I should probably get my own account...) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:06, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

typed stuff does but audio no. get your own accunt anyway and i'll see you tomorrow. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:07 7 November 2008

No proper sig for me.

I am not a proper person.

and im giving you this award for the heck of it.

PieSoup Likes you, and he hopes you like him back...

Firstly: Regardless of proper you need one. Always sign with four tidles (~) (unless you set it up for only needing three) just so people know who you are and what time you said things. I know it sounds anal but seriously. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:08 8 November 2008

Secondly: Thanks! Me likes awardses. Also feel free to come ask me stuff if you're stuck. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:08 8 November 2008

Cool, i forgot the squigileys, im not perfect, dont be do anal or the bunny gets it!!1! PieSoup-Drink Me! 04:16, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

(Sorry bunny) Also take care to indent properly, use one more colon than the person you are replying to used. Ta. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:28 8 November 2008

"Orian57: nagnagnagnagnag" ok, ty for the nice lesson on talk page stuff. and i would never kill my bunny, and i will make a proper sig tomarro... im not good under peer pressure. :o PieSoup-Drink Me! 04:32, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

That's ok, I was just saying how because of RT's talk page. Doesn't matter much to me what your sig looks like so long's you sign. anyway i'm going to stop nagging now and masturbate before bed. Have fun. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:36 8 November 2008

You raped me...

Orian, I'm pregnant. And you're the father... somehow... WHY DID YOU FORGET THE COMDOM!? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:32, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

I didn't forget it. I punctured it before I put it on. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:10 8 November 2008

No you're not. Well, not anymore. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (20:15 11-8-2008)

(Shh! If he doesn't know, maybe he'll pay child support!) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 21:55, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

This is Uncyclopedia we're talking about. There is no fee for child support. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:29 11-9-2008)

Good to have you back Methy! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:38 9 November 2008

I WILL NOT WEAR A CONDOM AND I WILL NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND I WILL NOT WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT ME BECAUSE I AM BLACK AND PROUD. Oh wait, is this the Bad Parenting Convention? sirsysrq @ 16:49 Nov 9

Well look at the conversationalists most of them are mostly gay (and the other is way too proud of being straight) so yah. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:56 9 November 2008

SysRq is gay? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 17:07, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

well duh SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:02 9 November 2008

Yeah, RT, don't you remember that UnTunes? Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (00:07 11-10-2008)

If either of you like that enough go ahead and nom it, although thanks to sissy it's months out of date. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:30 10 November 2008

For some reason I always thought Orian wrote that... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:55, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Sigh... I did write the lyrics, but that isn't my voice. SysRq is not homosexula. You're so easy to mislead it isn't fun. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:06 10 November 2008

Well, at least we all learned something from this whole expirience... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:11, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Except from you. You just sat a thought about chips. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 03:52 10 November 2008

chips? where? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:29, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Bet it was amateur rape. You should come to South Africa and work with the professionals. And that song doesn't flow. What am I doing here? BlueYonder - CONTACT

To crush my spirit? Also, fair enough. I'm not happy with it either. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:51 10 November 2008'

SWEETS

I lieks dem. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:25, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

You mean my halloween thing? You only just got round to reading it? Cool. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:29 11 November 2008

Well, actually, I was reading it as you were making it... I really liked it, though! (4 was my favorite) It's just that I thought you'd have a lot more oohs and ahhs by now, and i didn't want you to feel like it was a waste...so... hurrah for Orian! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:00, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh thanks! Actually 4 was kinda rushed, I prefered 2. yeah I was hoping more people would care aswell but meh. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 01:13 11 November 2008

UnSignpost: 13th November 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

November 13^th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!

Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life" In an unprecedented development, Uncyclopedian 15Mickey20 has made a foray into media activity outside of the internets. Mickey, Uncyc's tennis correspondent, has been seen on popular-with-students-and-pensioners UK gameshow Countdown, operating under the pseudonym "Martin". Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick! Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine. Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis Writer of the Month: There's a bumper crop of WotM candidates nominated this month for your voting delectation. The UnSignpost's own Gerrycheevers is the early favourite, having established a significant lead over this week's biopic star Mrmonkey72, several-time nominee SysRq, inactive-for-ages-but-funny Nydas, dark horse Knucmo2 and the multi-featured and multi-talented An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. But! There is still time, your votes can still make a difference! (Unless you've already voted, natch). Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously). Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again. Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM!

Check out these pages! Mad for Uncyclomania! Logical Merge? Hyperdeletionism From our logs: 14:58, 11 November 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.118.10.166 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (idiots never learn. That's why they're idiots.) 08:09, 6 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.203.113.117 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Didn't your mother tell you not to use such bad language? Inbetween all those dicks she was sucking, I mean. ) 05:04, 6 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.46.44.68 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yeah, I agree, this site is the worst. Tell you what, now you don't have to edit here ever again! Aren't I the best admin ever?) Biopic of the Week Mrmonkey72 is another stellar addition to the Uncyc ranks this year. This highly evolved simian's natural habitat seems to be UnNews, where he's settled with impressive speed, although he's not above writing the odd high quality article as well. And with a Foolitzer Prize and a WotM nom already under his belt, who knows how far he'll go? VFD kept article of the week Odd. Surely there's some potential here folks - one talented writer, or failing that anyone with enough time on their hands, might want to add copious sprinkles of funniness dust to this strange confection. Glorious Return of the Week Hey everyone, SysRq's back!

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MrN9001 12:51, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Just passing and an oddity...

Why are you reverting IPs which are fixing typos:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 20:50, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

I dunno. They way he had it didn't look right. maybe he was. you decide. I can't spell. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:53 18 November 2008