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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

The Metalheads are an ethno-religious tribe and primitive forerunner of the human race that display heightened levels of aggression, exceptional constitution, narrowmindedness, and a strong affection for loud, violent, evil-sounding, vaguely otherworldly (Brutal) music. They are widely accepted, by most academics, to be the basis for Gods and supernatural deities in all popular religions. While the average Metalhead sees himself as a rock god, the average person sees a woman in bad need of a new wardrobe. However, this dreaded aperture when presented on stage begins to shine like gold in the form of sounds manipulated via surprising mental and physical manual dexterity. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)

... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?

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In the news [edit]

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran peace talks

Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's chance at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices

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On this day [edit]

July 1: Canada Day in Canada; Canada Awareness Day in Civilized Countries

1863 – The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
1867 – The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
1890 – Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
1933 – The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
1970 – Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year.
1980 – O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?
2020 – The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces were withdrawn from the area.

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Picture of the day

Unable to reach Him by phone, Oscar Wilde took his seat in God's waiting room (also called purgatory). It is believed that he waits there to this day.

Image credit: RadicalX
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