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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

MTV's Jersey Shore chronicles the lives of 8 ~~Italian-~~Americans, and has become quite a national sensation. It first aired in December of 2009 and immediately garnered a lot of attention (mostly negative). The unorthodox nature of the show mixed with the disastrous critical reception it received, and topped with the mountains of pending lawsuits that have been filed apparently is a recipe for success. The show is overwhelmingly popular among the teenager demographic, which is the only demographic MTV has ever cared about.

A man can spend his entire life, from conception to his deathbed, watching the groundbreaking show on a continuous loop and still not understand what he was watching. It is that exact reason that a compilation of data has been collected, dissecting every moment of life on the set of Jersey Shore, in hopes of helping someone, somewhere, one day understand Jersey Shore. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)

... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
... tennis isn't just a game?

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In the news [edit]

It's real.

Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released (pictured); Steam crashes for the second time this year.
Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Trump presents new science project to Cabinet (Pictured)
Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions
Starmer bans pornography nationwide
- Starmer to ban VPNs nationwide
Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3)

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger in jail • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump, either by angry cartel members, "meanie judges", or (finally) releasing the Epstein files

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On this day [edit]

September 5: National Dance the Funky Chicken Day (Moldova)

1698 - In an effort to move his people away from archaic customs, Tsar Peter I of Russia imposes a tax on women and children with beards.
1836 - Sam Houston's version of the Funky Chicken is chosen as the official dance of the Republic of Texas.
1969 - Foghorn Leghorn takes some LSD.
1983 - King Kong's daughter, Stella Kovalski McKong is born. Stella quickly learns the chicken dance from chickens at a local farm.
1984 - Prime Minister Bakka-Lakka Da'kka declares the People's Republic of Jerkmenistan free from Morongolian rule.
1985 - Chickens go to a local disco dance party and gain popularity with their chicken dance.
1992 - Vacationing group of retirees attacked by flock of angry chickens while dancing the Macarena.
2006 - First Annual International Day to talk like a '80s metal singer. Millions attempting to imitate Ozzy Osbourne are instantly shot. Twice.
2007 - In a bid to improve the aerodynamic characteristics of his body, Asafa Powell amputates his nipples.

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Picture of the day

Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!".

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