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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

<insert name here> has joined the chat!: <<insert name here>> Hello!; <<insert name here>> Hellooo ...; <<insert name here>> ...; <Piefan29> ...; <<insert name here>> Finally, someone to talk to! So wasup?; <Piefan29> Dw u liek pie; <<insert name here>> Huh? What?; <Piefan29> Дu чц likёё pie??; <<insert name here>> Are you asking me if I like pie?; <Piefan29> .du u?; <Piefan29> iets a simpul qstin; <<insert name here>> Yeah, I guess. What's your deal man?; <Piefan29> Whatt kinnees; <<insert name here>> Apple, cherry, blueberry, boston cream etc.; <Piefan29> etc?; <Piefan29> wht is etc pie?; <<insert name here>> etc. means continued; <<insert name here>> Are you okay in the head?; <Piefan29> Il asc ta qstins here !
<insert name here> has dropped the chat.

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Did you know... [edit]

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?

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In the news [edit]

Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise (pictured)
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
Austria wins Eurovision
MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG and Stranger Things 5 • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup •

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success

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On this day [edit]

June 7: Execute a Journalist Day (Iran)

5000 BC - Wheel reinvented after initial square-shape design doesn't do the thing wheels are supposed to.
100 BC - Persia detains Greek journalists covering the Battle of Thermopylae.
212 BC - Archimedes arrested for indecent exposure. (Pictured)
1222 - Mary had a little lamb, with tumeric, black pepper and some olive oil.
1893 - Mohandas Gandhi commits his first act of civil disobedience by neglecting to pay a traffic ticket.
1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after ninety-one years of agonizing marriage.
1981 - Israel bombs a nuclear reactor in Iran in celebration of the Jewish holiday Shavuot.
2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets some satisfaction, is later arrested behind a local Nando's.
2012 - Mick Jagger no longer has sympathy for the Devil, and is banished to hell.

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