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From today's featured article 

*gets classical music mp3*


*ahem*... 3... 2... 1...

After gaslighting their followers that the non-existent country of France was a real place, and after stating that Jeffrey Epstein was "my best friend", this horrid Uncyclopedian user has earned their place as one of the most hated Uncyclopedians on the site. It eventually went way deeper than these surface-level facts, however, as it has been revealed that Brown9622 has had a secret history of lying, pedophilia, and even more. These events have escalated so much, that recently, Gergdown has deleted their Discord account, and alongside it, have left the Uncyclopedian Discord server. So how did this story occur? (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
  • ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
  • ...that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
  • ...that I'm better than this person in particular?
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
 

In the news 

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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet slothRobert RedfordU.S. Federal GovernmentJane GoodallThe Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane KeatonGaza WarDrew StruzanWindows 10D'AngeloYouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion

Upcoming deaths: DEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs

On this day 

Contrary to popular belief, Roger "The Saint" Moore is not the patron saint of saint rogering.

October 19: Feast of Saint Roger (Estonia). Feast of rogering saints (Bulgaria).

Picture of the day

Zoloft Seppuku
Though Zoloft has been very successful in its ad for fighting depression on American television, it's had difficulty adapting its campaign for Japan.

Image credit: RadicalX
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,791 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.