User:MrN9000/TalkArchives15

Another bloody classic 4 U

Under Pressure! CLASSIC!!! What Beatle could sing or perform like that!??

Yeah Queen wooo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 23:24, Jan 31 2010

I wish I had seen them live... MrN 23:29, Jan 31

A band named Queen with a lead singer who's gay? Who would have thought it? But didn't you know they were finally forced to admit Freddie Mercury was lip sinking? All his parts were really sung by Ringo Starr. (Seriously, Freddie Mercury was apparently bisexual, not gay. While I like this song, which I like better with David Bowie and Queen, to me Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is one of the greatest rock songs ever.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:03, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Queen is my favourite band of all time. Same applies to Funnybony. Check out this which Freddie wrote for the "Love of his life". If anyone ever comes up with a definition of exactly what the word "Gay" means which is better than my comment at Gay then I would like to know. Also: "Queen had been working on the song under the title "Feel Like" but were not yet satisfied with the result. The final version that became "Under Pressure" evolved from a jam session the band had with Bowie at his studio in Montreux, Switzerland, therefore it was credited as co-written by the five musicians". I'm going to start calling you Captain Obvious one of these days Why. ;-) MrN 08:54, Feb 1

Ah, gee, I made my first gay joke on Uncyclopedia and nobody laughed. Shucks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:08, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Hea! We did! MrN 19:14, Feb 1

Love of my life.

“His stage persona and music was not gay, and I never heard gay music.”

~ Funnybony on Freddie Mercury

According to the unholy Wikipedia, "In his will, Mercury left the vast majority of his wealth, including his home and recording royalties, to Mary Austin, and the remainder to his parents and sister. He also left some money to others, including his male friend till the end. But he was bisexual, and always loved Mary Austin (female) more than any person in his life, and considered her his wife. His stage persona and music was not gay, and I never heard gay music. In fact, what does sexual preference have to do with music?

But to the point, what singer in any band could touch Freddy's range and ability, from heavy metal to opera? All the Beatles vocal talents combined don't come close to Freddy. And as to "Stage Presence" Freddy could make Michael Jackson look like Reddy Kilowatt on speed, or make Chubby Checker look like, ah, Chubby Checker. And this is not my opinion, consider this, Queen sold 300 million albums as of last year, and BBC named their 1985 gig as the Greatest Live Performance by any band ever. AND recently? In 2006 Queen's Greatest Hits album was the United Kingdom's all-time best selling album, with sales upwards of 5,407,587 copies, over 604,295 more copies than its nearest competitor, The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.--Funnybony 18:30, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Not gay. Not even a little bit. But a Poof with a bionic penis no doubt!

Yea, I linked to the article WP are referencing above. HeHe. Lol. Well, maybe he might have been just a little bit gay? Probably just his cock or something... MrN 18:42, Feb 1

HAAAA!!! Sure! But when I was a kid "gay" meant happy, and "Queen" meant the wife of the King. Like, how did that change? Was it a dictionary thingy? Any way, if "gay" means totally gay, then he's wasn't, he was bisexual. In any case, the silly drag picture was not his stage persona, as can be seen by the two YouTube performances. And, is Al Pacino REALLY Cuban? Bottom line is, "If you want to get to the truth then just follow the money!" - and in Freddy's case the money went to a women.--Funnybony 18:55, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

You got me with the 'follow the money line'. ;) Very clever sir... Well if you want to know my views about what the word Gay means, read Gay cos I wrote most of it. ;) MrN 19:13, Feb 1

For an article on Uncyclopedia that's titled "Gay," that suprising doesn't suck (pun intended). Seriously, I think this ought to be put up for Pee Review. I think with a few edits here and there it would be ready for VFH. (And I liked the "follow the money" line too.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:37, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Man, this is one of my oldest projects. I have totally re-worked it more than once. It's been reviewed a few times I think, and failed on VFH more than once already. Been a while since the last nomination though. Check the talk page. As for "a few edits" do em them!?! Let's not all stand around here talking like a bunch of gays!!! Or Fags, whichever works better... MrN 19:41, Feb 1

I might do that, if I have time. Right now my primary focus here is reviving IC, and the article's in much too good of shape to warrant colonization, in my opinion. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:44, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Does anyone find it odd that several of America's "good" musicians are gay? (Freddie, Elton John, Boy George, George Michael, Lance Bass... Actually, never mind. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 04:40, Feb 2 2010

Actually, I don't even think some of those are Americans, either. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 04:41, Feb 2 2010

BTW: "Follow the money!" was advice given by M to 007 (as IF he didn't already know that!?).--Funnybony 16:11, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Do you I LIKE PIE???

Um, hi. I lefted a note for I_LIKE_PIE!!! you might like to read. That is all.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  01 Feb 2010 ~ 11:03 (UTC)

Yea, cool. I actually just read that b4 you post here. I'm not sure he can read mind... I doubt he will even bother read what you post. I do admire your determination to turn him into a useful user. As I said previously though, if I see any more similar dickery from him when he next return it's curtains... I will tolerate a level of dicking about, but not when it's coming from a user who does nothing useful for the wiki. MrN 11:13, Feb 1

Yay! I appear to have inspired someone's username! --Ozymandiaz 14:36, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Bacon powder? MrN 16:31, Feb 1

No you fool: I LIKE PIE! See my conversation with SPIKE on his userpage. --Ozymandiaz 17:50, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

What? If you want me to look at it give me links. Or I could just start randomly blocking people to be on the safe side... Maybe that would work. MrN 18:02, Feb 1

Can I get a copy of the deathcore transcript so I can work on it more?- User:Eversincethewar

Well, apparently MadMax already did it. User:Eversincethewar/Deathcore. This MUST be VERY DIFFERENT from the version which was deleted at VFD if you want to move this back to the mainspace. Not just a bit more tidying up, your new version needs to be totally different. When you have changed it loads, and want to move it back to the mainspace, let me or Max know and we will check it, and if it's OK, move it back for you. Don't move it yourself, it will get deleted if you do. Hope you managed to come up with something which is good, and very different. Have fun. MrN 16:31, Feb 1

I did read it. And what did you do to my userpage?--I LIKE PIE!!! 21:19, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Furby

Hi! Despite its unanimous vote for deletion, Mr. Anon I.P. has redirected Furby to Evil. Is someone on this? Spıke ¬  14:14 1-Feb-10

Ya lost me dude. What's wrong with that? MrN 16:33, Feb 1

Well, there was a vote to make it go away, and it didn't, it just got worse! What next? anonIPs working QVFD? If this is not a problem, okay, and thanks for the reply. Spıke ¬  16:39 1-Feb-10

Well the article is gone right? How did it not go away? Now it's redirecting to another page. Actually that makes it less likely that someone will create another Furby page ya know! MrN 16:44, Feb 1

UnScripts:Who built the moon

Dude! I just read this. Good one. Can you imagine THAT as a real movie? HAAA!!! What a rap!

I have a real script of the Novel that has some funny parts, is that allowed in unScripts? Oh, did you fix up "NY Evicted?" - much thanks on the dialog. Did you think that absurd enough?--Funnybony 18:02, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Who built the moon is based on a book of the same name. All the facts are true, and to my mind something more than a random coincidence. Check the talk page... I thought you might have some input considering your knowledge of the Vadars. You can submit whatever you wish so long as it's not copyrighted already. Some of our UnScripts are VERY long. However... If you do then you will not be able to make money out of it in the future. If you give it to Uncyc, you give it to the world man. Yea, I just made a small edit to that... Looking at [1] there are two of em! MrN 18:13, Feb 1

Construction tag

I didn't know that the tag was only for new articles. Learning something new every day. thanks. Aleister in Chains 19:45 1 Feb. MMX

Yea, it's one of the few templates us admins are a bit picky about... MrN 19:54, Feb 1

Thank you!!

Thank you!!

I stand here before you, arms outstretched and butterflies exploding from my zipper, in thanks for supporting me for Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.

Throughout 2009, many people had stupid ideas, and many of those people wrote those stupid ideas down, but apparently you agreed that no one thought of so many idiotic things, nor humiliated himself on such a regular basis, as I.

You pity me! You really pity me!

May 2010 be an even worse year for us all!

---

-) MrN 19:55, Feb 1

About FA credit

I saw your post about FA credit here, and wonder about why it works the way it does. For example, my big mega contribution to Transformers was making a couple largely reverted edits and a few suggestions on the talk page that probably hurt more than they helped. If it gets featured, for that I'd get half credit, which seems like a heck of a lot more than I deserve. On the other hand, I realize if someone had to go through every edit by IC members and determine who was deserving and who wasn't, it could take some poor schmuck forever to go through, and then lead to all-out warfare and rebellion. I'm guessing that's why the rule is that if you colonize an IC article that gets featured, you get half credit, period. Am I right? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:20, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Yep. I think that's why it's like that. We want to encourage people to join and get involved. If someone did very little, and someone pointed it out then it might be different. Actually I think the person who runs IC gets to decide who gets credit. Or that's what SysRq did I think. Basically FA credit works by people being honest, and others pointing out if they are not (which hardly ever happens) :D MrN 22:27, Feb 1

All right. It's completely hypothetical on Transformers (which just got Pee Reviewed, and may or may not be transformed into something featurable), but of course Michael Jackson is currently nommed. If I change anything in FA policy, it won't be on articles that have already been worked on by IC. But I'll think about maybe changing it for future articles (after asking everybody's opinions). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:22, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Well I don't think you have any control over past events. You can control who gets FA credit on new IC efforts though. Just as SysRq did. MrN 23:26, Feb 1

Understood. Even if I did have control of past events, I wouldn't change what was. I hate creating temporal paradoxes. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:35, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Undead

Mr.N., Mordillo, I swear I really don't insist that Uncyclopedia have a Rulebook. What frustrates me, though, is when someone takes dramatic action as though there were one, then someone else arrives on the scene and lays down the law as though there were a different one. In the face of such chaos, it has always helped induce movement toward a common goal to put expectations in writing. End of speech. Spıke ¬  01:56 2-Feb-10

There is no written constitution in the UK. The US has one. sorry, it did have one. Um, anyway, I'm not sure what you are saying... I hope my constitution talk makes sense. Anyway, maybe I should point out that everyone makes mistakes from time to time, and that each situation takes different judgement and will be seen in a different light by different people. If you are looking for perfect consistency in policy you ain't going to find it on Uncyc. Like I said... You should have been here a few years ago. Back then the admins really were ban crazy... Also, we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at Mordillo's ban stick... AGAIN!!! MrN 02:15, Feb 2

Christ! you understand that the US used to have a Constitution. Then you lay on me the old Bush did it too line! Again, "end of speech," and there are no hidden messages. Please accept the above opinion and don't feel pressure to do anything in particular, least of all instantly exhibit perfect consistency. I am not unhappy with any of you; but I personally would treat each of the recurring tug-of-wars by striving to put more things down in writing--realizing above all that writing a falsehood quickly elicits the truth. Spıke ¬  02:38 2-Feb-10

Yea.. Used to. We have the internet here in the UK ya know. ;) ... Well, that's were you missed the point of my constitution talk... If you write a rule down... Then people can use that against you disregarding the actual spirit behind why the rule was created. What matters is the reasons why, not the rules themselves. We make the rules up as we go, but the why does not change. If all you have is the rules, then people forget the reasons why. The founding fathers just wanted men to be free for example... MrN 02:52, Feb 2

Hang on!!! Did you just compare me to Obama! Bastard! :P MrN 02:57, Feb 2

I'd quibble that the Constitution analogy doesn't hold. With the Constitution, you have a bunch of lawyers scheming to get wins who really don't feel bound by the Constitution in the first place. The case of a manager putting his expectations in writing to guide subordinates is less hidebound. If people march to the words and forget the why, my response is to try to write more clearly. This from your resident corporate tech-writer. Spıke ¬  03:02 2-Feb-10

Well that's my point then. This argument is really going down hill cos I think we agree! The lawyers are the vandals, trolls, sockpuppets, disruptive and dishonest users. Because Uncyc does not have many rules it's not possible for those people to try to use whatever rules there are to their advantage at the expense of the spirit behind them. I there was a rule which said that a sysop must do something in a given situation then he can't say... "Hang on, screw this, I know what you are really doing, and that's not right"... This sounds to me like actually you are still pissed of because I blocked you on VFD that time. Well, you were abusing VFD then. Not much, but a little bit. By deliberitly slowing the vote down like that purely to whore your article was rather selfish I though. (You were making someone else have to read that crappy article). Not much, but a little bit. If we had complex set of rules I probably could not do what I did. But, I was able to do it because you were (very slightly) breaking the spirit and idea behind what VFD is all about. Had I not blocked you, you would not have taken me seriously... Or not as seriously as you do now... MrN 03:12, Feb 2

Yeah, we mostly agree. I'm not proposing "rules" to tie a SysOp's hands in the face of vandals, but "policy" to guide writers on what's expected; clarity.

Regarding my own ban, no, I didn't expect it and indeed would have appreciated some advance clarity; not so I could use it to tie your hands or decline to "take you seriously" but to have notice of what was acceptable and what was not. (Back to the legal analogy despite my claiming it doesn't fit, knowledge of the boundaries was the essential reason for law--not full employment for lawyers.) Spıke ¬  03:25 2-Feb-10

Well it was for 45 mins or something right? There are no boundaries in Law. Just a framework. That's why we need courts and judges. I don't want to write a rule to say "no whoring on VFD" cos whoring on VFD is a dam good place to do it. Hea, if someone can be arsed to read a shitty article, then it's more than fine with me if they whore their heart out in their voting reason... But VFD is for deleting articles. If people start to do things which actually interfere with the actual process (like changing a vote) or maybe something else then it becomes different. Should we write down every possible option for what they can and can't do? Tell you what... Why don't you try? Hyperbol wrote HowTo:Whore your article on VFD Now that was VERY funny. He then put that article onto VFD to whore it. Actually nominated it for deletion. (That's why I referenced him in your block reason) Now Hyper's trick was VERY funny. Very, clever and totally unexpected. How could I have written a rule which would have dealt with that? "No whoring on VFD unless it passes level 7 of the Humour scale" Um... He knew that it was far too good for VFD, but still nominated it anyway under the full knowledge that people might have been spiteful and voted to delete it. As it was it was so funny that it was kept, and Hyper got his article well and truly whored on VFD... No ban there. Everyone agreed it was funny enough to justify there not being a ban for him being an arse on VFD. Had he nominated the main page (which is the oldest joke in the book) then he would probably have been banned. But because it was funny enough people did not mind. If you have a set of rules which defines funny then please produce it. ;) Bottom line... We can't have a rule for everything... What we can do is try to make sure that people uphold the spirit of what is right. I think you know that when you changed your vote it was actually against the spirit of what VFD is about. Don't ya. ;) MrN 04:00, Feb 2

It's arguable. I had fleshed out an alternative to the article on VFD and flipped my vote to prolong the vote--not so "people would read my article" but to enlist aid in creating one. (By the way, banning me and in the same breath naming a user who could get away with it, sounded like a ban just to be clever.) The common goal is writing good articles, for which I needed help; and sometimes I get volunteers among the other voters. Your job is to administer VFD, to which my gambit was a distraction, one that I hate when newbies see potential in an article and we have to wait until three-or-so more Deletes straggle in. But who was pursuing the end goal and who was preoccupied with process in this case? Spıke ¬  04:31 2-Feb-10

Well... You flipped your vote to keep an article which you did not actually think should be kept, purely to advertise a different article. Agreed they had the same name, but it was a different page on the wiki. One which was in your user space I might add... By flipping your vote it meant that another user had to come along and read the crap article. You thought that was OK, as they would be rewarded by having to view the advert for the new article.

The common goal here is to produce a wiki which is the best possible amusing parody of Wikipedia. To do that we need to write new articles, improve the average ones, and delete bad ones. VFD is specifically a page for deleting the bad ones. If someone does something on VFD which interferes with purpose of VFD they will be asked not to. There are many other places in Uncyclopedia which people could use to find articles to fix (pee review, ICU and WIP which are close to 1 week old and such), but they often choose VFD because it's a busy page, there are more users around, and therefore they are more likely to find collaborators to assist them. That's absolutely fine. However if their eagerness to find collaborators gets to the point that what they are doing actually slows down VFD and they start voting based not on the quality of the article in question, but to advertise a different article then they are using VFD for the wrong purpose. You new what you did would slow down VFD. That's why you did it. I would do the same thing again if you did something similar which got in the way of the primary purpose of UN:BP or QVFD. UN:BP for example is even more "sensitive" than VFD. Try making "joke" ban nominations on BP to whore articles and see how fast your block count increases.

I'm sorry you obviously feel so strongly about this, it was only a 45 min ban. I have gotten bans of this length as "joke" bans myself in the past. The reference to Hyper was more a reference to whoring on VFD. I'm sorry if you thought the joke was on you, but you were whoring on VFD and that's what Hyper's article was about. I figure that as Hyper wrote the article on whoring on VFD that kinda makes him the expert in it. Unlike yourself. ;-)

If this issue was actually your motive for coming to my page in the first place, and the remarks which you have been making about me around the wiki of late then I really do wish that you had come to me before and discussed this. I will never block someone for asking me why I do what I do. Hopefully I have explained why now, but if not I'm happy to continue this discussion. If you want to, you might try to address the questions which I asked you in the other text above (such as when I suggested that you attempt to write a complete set of perfect rules). Also, I'm around IRC a fair bit of late, and maybe you might find it better chatting to me about these kinda things in there, rather than on the Wiki. Tis up to you. MrN 10:09, Feb 2

I want to add another point, since the original post was intended for me as well. This is the Nth time you are pushing towards having set of rules for what I (and I believe most other admins) consider to be quite uncommon incidents. This case and the previous one in which you asked to put a rule regarding "no nominating articles and then abstaining" are not typical. Again, in general, I think we're working fine with common sense and UN:R. True, sometimes different admins act in different manners - but this is why you have different admins who balance each other. If we look at those "dramatic" incidents you mention (I can think of two you were involved with) - the Q template issue and this VFD issue, I think they managed themselves quite nicely. I wasn't happy with Spang's involvement in the first one, and I voiced that. However, I didn't think it was a big issue for me to revert his changes (something I typically don't do anyway). With the VFD issue we had last night - I saw a festival on an article on vote on VFD, which is extremely annoying for the people who manage the site maintenance, I locked it. MrN thought I overdid it, he unlocked it and I was fine with it as he normally is more connected to VFD than I am. So all those incidents tend to sort themselves quite easily. I'll repeat once again what I've said several times - your work here is greatly appreciated, but I'd like to stop having those discussions every time something happens which doesn't fit in a rules framework of some sort. We are currently running one of the most stable mixture of contributors/admins in the last few years and not being chained to unnecessary rules, is one of the strong points of Uncyclopedia, in my opinion. We are not Wikipedia, we don't have their problems and we don't need their red tape. I'm also somewhat involved with the Hebrew Uncyclopedia. The levels of rules they have there is astonishing - which I believe is the primary reason they can't go above 1700 articles for about 4 years now. ~ 10:32, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Wow folks, this is a lot of words for "stop making a mountain out of a molehill". ;-) --UU - natter 10:49, Feb 2

Well, thanks to both for the explanations. I would revert to the initial paragraph here: the observation, which you have adequately rebutted, that "tonight's events seemed chaotic and might have been helped by having more things written down." Spıke ¬  11:35 2-Feb-10

Wow! You're not telling me you guys actually read all that carp up there we just typed!?! HeHe... To be fair to Spike, I did invite him here to my talk page to discuss this...  :-) Now, off to ban Spike again! Only joking! MrN 11:42, Feb 2

Spike, trust me, you don't know what's chaotic in this place. Look up NXwave and the day that Wikia moved into a new domain. ~ 11:52, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

So, basically, I should just nominate the Main Page, right? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:16, 4 February 2010

You nosey bastard! What the hell are you doing reading all the way back up here? MrN 00:17, Feb 4

Wasting time, no doubt. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:32, 4 February 2010

Freddy Mercury - Bombay's Greatest

botDude! Who Built the Moon is great. I would love to see THAT done by James Cameron. With Allah played by Rick Moranis in a huge rag-hat. HAA!! I also read "Gay" - and I can't understand why it was not featured? There's just nothing wrong with it, it covers all the bases, and it's plenty funny. Man, if that won't make it, then, what the heck!?? Better run that by VFH again.

Anyway I'm writing because I think all the Freddy Mercury rap from the VDO comments above would be useful material in a Freddy article: "Freddy Tricks Hollywood with Bollywood". Do you want to partner on this one? There is a lot to spoof with Freddy, and he would just love it! He was like a cross between Divine, Mario Lanza, and Michael Jackson. And sold more bloody records than Moses and the Hail Mary Chain!? Greatest singer ever, greatest performer ever, greatest crowd control ever, and greatest Poof. If Hitler would have been Freddy Mercury then he still wouldn't have won the war, but at least he would have sold 300 million records.

Should I start it out? Or do you want to start it. He was born in Zanzibar, in the Sultanate of Agrabah, the son of a belly Dancer with a ruby belly-button, and a used Magic Carpet salesman, Mrs and Mr Alladin Bulsara. He was not actually born, but rather came from inside a magic lamp when it was feveriously rubbing itself. Being an only cock, He first appeared as a raging hard on and slowly settled into babyhood in Bollywood, where the culture was such that he practically had to stand on his penis. Blah Blah... Freddy gave something very special to the Poof community, something they never had before Freddy, viz., AIDS! Freddy is the founding-father of the AIDS revolution, which wiped out VD for all the normal people, and made a fortune for the condom makers, In fact, it has recently come to light that Freddy was self-styled CEO of Trojan. - Whattya say? I bet you know more about him than I do. Lets do it, bro!--Funnybony 15:17, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I used the search tool (that box on the left) and I see that there are already two articles about the great man...

• Freddie Mercury
• Freddy Mercury Aggregate

Rather than start something new, I would probably prefer to contribute to one of those articles. As Freddy Mercury is probably the "main" Freddie article that's probably the one to go for. More people would find it, and more would want to contribute. Maybe some of the ideas above could be included into that... Looking at the edit history and talk page I see that no one else appears to be regularly editing this page, so that means that we would be fine to "take over" that article and change the concept behind it if we wanted to. The thing to be careful of though, is to try and avoid the obvious. When people come to an article on Freddie, what are they going to expect? Probably something about him being Gay, something about aids, and something about how awesome he was. Well, obviously those points should be made in a Freddie article, but the main focus should be something a bit different to make it more interesting than the expected. My style tends very much away from the random, and more into mixing real facts into an article, but making it so that the reader can't actually tell if they are being bullshitted to or not. What we don't want is another fan style article. Captain Obvious would not even do that to Freddie. He deserves something far more creative... So... How about this for a concept... One of the things with Freddie was that many people who were fans of Queen had no idea that he was gay (or whatever). Not for a good while anyway. My parents had no idea for years. LOL. How about we go with a concept of the author being someone who is actually very homophobic, but was a huge Freddie fan? Maybe we could change the name of the article to Freddie Mercury (Heterosexual musician). That might give us plenty of opportunity for humour as the author grapples with their hate for homosexuals, and their love for Freddie... The thing with "rewrites" which is kinda what this would be is that you can trawl through the page history looking for ideas and inspiration. Often good material gets lost over the years, but it's all still there in the history if you know how to look. That's one of the many advantages of taking on rewrite rather than starting something new... Do you see what I'm getting at here? MrN 18:11, Feb 2

MrN that sounds like a hilarious idea. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 20:23, Feb 2 2010

• For. Oh wait, this isn't IC. My mistake. (But I still like the idea.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:37, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

Dah! Glort! Skiffle! KERBOING! Jeez. What was the URL of the "search box" again? Hehe!!! Yes, great. Lets do it if we can add more buzz. You hit on a great idea.--Funnybony 07:44, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

All-time favourite music comment: when a friend of mine complained that having the Buzzcocks on the pub jukebox was "too gay", and declared he was going to put "something less gay on... like Queen". Also, passing note: the album version of Hammer To Fall features one of my favourite guitar solos ever. The single version just isn't as good. And with that, farewell! --UU - natter 10:23, Feb 3

That video on the front of your userpage...

... Reminds me of the time when I used to go to this MGS forum, and some moderator left for unknown reasons. Then it transpired that one of the forum members had been blackmailing the moderator into leaving; threatening to show transcripts of the moderator-in-question grooming a prepubescent forum member on IRC as well as a picture of him jacking off (that the mod had given to the kid). Also, from the same forum, one of the moderators genuinely believed she was an angel of god's own service, and that there were unicorns and a world of dragons and other shit. Anyway, that video o' yours just reminded me of that forum. I guess not all moderators possess a brain then, LOL. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 20:11, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

Hea man! Lovely to chat with you. I'm glad you to see you have an open mind about all this and are willing to enter into a sensible discussion. Did you watch both of the videos linked from there, or did you just watch the first few mins, and make your comment after that? MrN 22:38, Feb 3

What? What? I don't give a shit about you believe. I don't think anyone on this site gives a shit about what you believe, unless it has something to do with Uncyclopedia or something cool (HAH! did you TOTALLY see what I did there?). But there's something cool about not promoting political beliefs IN BOLDERNISED CAPS on not just your user page, but your usertalk page (which is a great way of hinting you want someone "willing to enter a sensible discussion") so you can get someone to satisfy your bizarre need to discuss SRS SHT with anyone, anywhere. Esp. on a comedy site. Go talk about that shit at the pub and keep your laughing side here. Peace, nigger. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 23:29, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

I will take that as a "Yes MrN, I did not watch it. My mind is closed to this matter". Which is fine by me. I did not ask you to watch it. Do you think you have a right to tell me what I put on my own user pages? If you "don't give a shit about you believe." why are you talking to me now? Clearly you do. Also, that video has nothing to do with politics IMO. In addition, be more polite when you talk to me please. I'm sure I can be unpleasant to you if I want to be. MrN 23:44, Feb 3

Fine man, give the impression you don't care about what Uncyclopedia's about. It seems very clear to me you DO want people to watch that video, why would you bother otherwise? I don't care about what you believe (ie. no I didn't watch your shite videos, I don't care about that. I'm a pacifist, vegetarian, enviromentalist, nauseating cunt. Nobody is gonna change that, I'm sure you say the same about yourself, so I don't provoke people about what they believe), I'm saying I think you should consider what beliefs you are presenting on a comedy site, about comedy, where people talk about comedy and mirth at comedy. At least, as a moderator keen to set an example. If I put "MEET IS MURDER!!!1!1!!111!1111 watch my vidz" on my userpage, am I presenting a format that fits in a comedy website? --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 00:28, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Well... I'm a pacifist, and an environmentalist. Just like you are. Those videos are not attempting to change anyone from being an environmentalist. It's a complex matter which is often miss-understood by those who have not done enough research... One of the things they do point out is that our current policy on CO2 is killing millions because we are now burning food and as a result food prices have doubled and the very poor can't afford it. How does that fit with you being a pacifist? Oh, many users on Uncyc have already said to me that they were very grateful for me posting that video on my user page, and that it opened their eyes to what is a rather complex subject. I could try to educate you, but you have already stated that your mind is closed to this matter. Your suggestion that the users of Uncyc do not push their own believes is laughable. As for the rest of your comments, I will not address them as I think your aggression towards me is misguided because you don't understand the issues here. Maybe one day you will realise that I was actually on your side here... MrN 01:12, Feb 4

You're anti-Monckton, right? --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 01:21, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I assume that as you are still here you do want to discuss this more. Well... I'm not pro or anti-Monckton. He's a person who says things in a video. I certainly don't agree with him about his views regarding aids. Did you read the bit where it said "Don't argue with me until you have watched this video". I'm guessing that you think he is simply saying that it's OK to pollute the planet. He is not. Did you know that some of his best friends started Greenpeace? Like I said, it's complex. Maybe you might like to listen to what he has to say. I promise that if you watch both of those videos you will learn some things which (I'm guessing) you don't know. Maybe you might just watch this. MrN 01:44, Feb 4

Jesus Christ, man. I just said I don't care about your views on global warming, stick it elsewhere. That's my point. I certainly don't know about other Uncyclopedia users going to you and saying they opened their eyes to you or their arsecheeks to you or whatever the fuck, probably because I couldn't care less. My point is: why use this COMEDY site as a focal point to talk seriously about political (and I mean general politics as in partisan intrigue, not just establishmentarianism) subjects? I don't want to see your video, I don't even see the point in bringing it up on Uncyclopedia. The only way otherwise would be if you were to present it as social commentary (ie. HUMOUR), but you're not. You're just posting a video and waiting for some poor sod to talk to you about what they think about on global warming, on comedy site. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 02:06, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Nachlader. I was just wondering if you're also opposed to people expressing their opinion about Islam on their userpages. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:14, 4 February 2010

Islam, global warming, nationalism, whatever, I don't see why I should give a shit about talking seriously about any of them on a humour website. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 02:22, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I did not ask you to give a shit. I did not ask anyone to talk to me about this. I SAID Don't argue with me until you have watched this video. Why are you? ... Like everyone else on this site I will post whatever I wish on my own user page. If you don't like it, kindly don't come here again. MrN 02:33, Feb 4

Fine. I'm not even arguing about what the video says, hence my policy on "not watching your beliefs being read out on Uncyclopedia unless it's comedy". Do you like that? It's a policy! That's what gets you excited on Uncyclopedia, right? Not all the brilliant and side-splitting articles this site has conjured over the years, it's talking REAL MEAN TURKEY. I'm arguing about the video, discussing a serious topic, being on this site. Good luck looking for idiots willing look at your video and talk about SERIOUS BUSINESS on (yet again) a COMEDY WEBSITE. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 02:41, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Aren't you the one treating this comedy website as a serious subject? Hah, I got you there! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:48, 4 February 2010

There are many, many serious subjects discussed on this site in many, many different ways. I was not attempting to discuss one here. You were. I just post a video on my talk page. Your attempts to insult me have failed as I now do not respect your opinion. Please do not come to my talk page again until you realise how much of an ass you have just been. MrN 02:56, Feb 4

I just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this. I was bored in some parts. Angry in others. Horny in one, which left me more confused than anything.... In conclusion, you're all fags. Suck it, douche bags. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 07:27, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Which part made you horny? MrN 10:53, Feb 4

I had no intention of getting involved in this discussion. But I just read a related post by a former professor of mine and thought some of you might be interested in reading and maybe commenting on it. It starts out with a quote from the New York Times: “The decade ending in 2009 was the warmest on record, new surface temperature figures released Thursday by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration show…. 2009 was the second warmest year since 1880, when modern temperature measurement began. The warmest year was 2005. The other hottest recorded years have all occurred since 1998, NASA said.” The full blog is at http://progreso-weekly.com/2/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1441:really-inconvenient-truth&catid=40:lastest-news&Itemid=59 King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:37, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Also I haven't watched the whole video yet, but do plan to. What I've watched so far seems interesting. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  08:04, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

There are two videos linked there... I read the links you gave me. My understanding is that it's been getting warmer for a long time now. No one here is saying that 'climate change' is not happening. If people had watched that video they would know that. The climate has always changed. Always has, always will. What tends to happen is that people get confused thinking that CO2 is a pollutant whereas it is actually plant food and only has a very small impact on global warming. The biggest lie which people believe is that CO2 drives temperature change. Although CO2 is a greenhouse gas it's not a significant one. Actually temperature change drives CO2 levels. People tend to get passionate about this issue because they think that anyone who believes that CO2 is not a pollutant also thinks it's a good idea to pump crap into rivers, poison the atmosphere, not bother recycling and burn fossil fuels in a manor which generates pollutants. Modern coal fired power stations emit virtually nothing other than CO2. Like I said, there is a difference between C02 and pollution. I think we need to stop polluting the planet, but that's not the same thing as simply cutting C02 which is actually being used as a new method of taxation.

I might add that to me, this whole issue is very amusing. I find it very funny that people get so passionate claiming that they are environmentalists when actually they are supporting something which is preventing the development of the third world, and killing millions of innocent people by burning food. OK, the killing millions of innocent people is not that funny, just like when they banned DDT in Africa which caused the death of millions due to malaria which could have been prevented only re-legalise it a couple of years ago when they realised what they had done. I'm no expert in this subject, but I have watched a lot of videos about global warming made by different people which look at the issues from various different perspectives. this was the most informative one I found. I have also read many papers and documents on the subject. After doing that I made up my mind about what I think is going on. It is funny that people get upset without actually bothering to do their own research, or consider views which might differ from that which they currently hold. Oh, if Woody is still reading I currently have my hand down my pants. MrN 10:53, Feb 4

The perfect cure to my horniness: Picturing MrN with his hands down his pants. Much obliged, sir. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:45, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

"Like everyone else on this site I will post whatever I wish on my own user page." orly? /me whistles innocently. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:24, 4 Feb

Well unless it's a picture of a penis obviously. Think what could happen if we allowed that? Cheers man. Yea, I still have no idea why I took the flack for the person who deleted that image. Guess I was just trying to calm down the drama queens because they have a habit of upsetting the rest of the wiki. Still the sausage image has its own MyFace page now or something I hear... MrN 18:36, Feb 4

Niggas need to chill. Wikipedia has a policy that your userpage is not yours, which I believe applies to Uncyclopedia to some degree. But first and foremost, Uncyclopedia has a policy that Nobody cares. I would like it if we could please stop behaving like monkeys and picking each other's nits. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 18:45, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

You know I'm starting to realise how those old school admins get bad tempered in their old age and start becoming really nasty... Not me though. I love all you guys! Except OptyC. He's a cunt. MrN 19:07, Feb 4

You forgot worthless. He's a worthless cunt. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:56, 4 Feb

I can't figure out how to indent this properly. so here it is. I got through 23:23 of the Lord Monckton video (I know, my Discordian friends will probably make a big deal about that number). I know you said you wanted people to watch the whole thing before they commented, but I doubt I'll get much farther. I'll say why below.

I have seen summaries of reports which agree with Lord Monckton's claim that using food for biofuels has meant people who need food can't get it. I've also read about reports that it is not efficient, and that it doesn't significantly reduce polution because, while it pollutes less while running a vehicle on biofuel, it creates a great deal of pollution making it.

I strongly agree, based on both my reading and personal experience, that the people at the top who are making the final decisions are often woefully uninformed. They can't be well-informed because in the modern era there's too much knowledge out there. The book The Peter Principle discusses some aspects of this in detail. There are systems that work better than the versions of hierarchical systems used by the world's great powers, but they mean those who have the most power would have much less, and people in power generally don't like giving it up.

I'll move on. After 23 minutes and 23 seconds, Lord Monckton's said almost nothing about CO2 and global warming, but he does talk about other points. He says that over a 40 year period about 40,000,000 people died because DDT was banned, as it had been used effectively to kill malaria mosquitoes. That may well be true; I don't know. Then it was allowed beginning in 2006. Then at 13:26 he says, "But the left, the environmental left, the intolerant, Communistic, narrow-minded faction that does not care how many children it kills, is campaigning once again for DDT to be banned." That's an extreme accusation (if he named specific individuals, it could be enough to bring lawsuits against him), but he offers no evidence that his oppostion consists of intolerant Communists who don't care if they kill children.

At 15:18, he says his opposition should be trying to make everybody rich. I am not an economist by any means, but I am fairly good in math and know this isn't possible. Rich is a relative term; there can be no rich if there are no poor; you can't have someone living above the mean average if you don't have someone living below it. We hear the term underpriviledged a lot (Google hits: 2,230,000), but rarely overprivileged (Google hits 75,300). But you can't have one without the other.

Then around 22:00 he tacks "we're all going to lie" above the quotes of his opposition, and makes his point at around 23:23 by making fun of Al Gore's accent ("we're all gonna lah!").

He may have some good points to make later, but unfortunately I will probably miss them. But I will check out the other video; hopefuly it won't devolve into ad hominem arguments and unsubstantiated accusations of mass murder, but will stick to facts and useful information as I really am interested. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:34, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Well it's obviously up to you dude. Yea, he says a lot which I don't agree with also. What I do is listen to the facts he states, and check them out for myself to see if they are true. "Apocalypse no" is probably better if you are going to judge all his facts based on how he talks or a few opinions you don't agree with. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince... Or... You have to wade through a lot of crap to find the truth... MrN 20:49, Feb 4

To clarify, I am not "going to judge all his facts based on how he talks or a few opinions" I do not agree with. If you'll read my comments again, I don't think you'll find any evidence I was doing that or said I would do that. In fact, I wrote, "He may have some good points to make later." But I rarely watch an hour and a half of anything unless I really want to watch it. If I can find the information from a source where I don't have to wait through insults and accusations, I am definitely interested in finding it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:14, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry if came across like I was attacking ya. All this is kinda why I put the "please don't talk to me unless you have watched" the... I knew I would get this kinda reaction if people had not watched all of both the videos... OH, I give up... FIRE AWAY!!!! MrN 21:37, Feb 4

If I can put on my SRS BSNS cap for a moment, I think Monckton is woefully uninformed about DDT. First of all, Western "Communists" didn't institute a "global ban" on the stuff - that's not even possible. What, we're going to ban DDT in Africa the way we banned... female genital mutilation??

So why, then, aren't African countries still using it? Because it doesn't work anymore. In the first couple years we used it, it wiped out something like 99.9 percent of the mosquitoes in the areas it was used - and progeny of the survivors are almost completely immune. Plus, there's almost no doubt that the stuff is incredibly, species-endingly, toxic to many species of birds. DDT use won't kill mosquitos anymore, but it's a surefire way to rid the world of its condor problem.

Interesting. I'll check that out. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:18, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

This wasn't a very funny post on my part, but I did say "genital mutilation," so I guess that's worth a chuckle. pillow talk 20:55, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

If you say so. I have not really looked into the DDT side of things. Did a quick google and found this. I'm more interested in what he says about global warming myself. MrN 21:08, Feb 4

Did somebody mention genital mutilation? -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:15, 4 Feb

Well, even that article says that DDT can only reduce malaria incidence by something like 35%. That's down from something like 95% when it was introduced. It's a chemical that mosquitoes have adapted to alarmingly quickly. I'm definitely not opposed to having Africans spray it inside their homes - one life saved is one life saved, after all - but to claim that evil Western Communists killed millions of people with their dastardly global ban... just ignores the facts.

I'd discuss what he says about global warming, but I don't think I have the attention span to watch that viWHOA THERE'S A PICTURE OF A GIRL SITTING ON A GUY'S FACE DOWN THERE! pillow talk 21:18, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

There are Ice creams. MrN 21:37, Feb 4

The picture immediately under this section header

... Reminds me of the time when I used to surf the net for pornography, and my browser locked up for some reason. Then it transpired that my girlfriend had come over unexpectedly and used her spare key to get in; threatening to walk in on a scene of me defiling myself to indecent images. So, I had to choose between attempting to zip up and attempting to get the image off my screen. Splitting the difference, I kicked my computer so hard that it flew across the room, wrenching the plug out of the socket, and then dove into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind me, as I attempted to writhe back into my jeans from a supine position. Upon emerging from the restroom, my jeans soaked in the pools of standing water left over from my morning shower, she asked me to explain the commotion, along with the reason my PC was lying in the corner amidst a pile of MIDI cables. "Thai food," I said cryptically, hoping it would put an end to the discussion; and, in fact, it did.

However, I'd like to take this opportunity to opine that I don't give a shit about what you believe. There's something cool about not allowing me to post that patently unfunny picture and story, or discuss it, on not just your user page, but your user talk page (which is a great way of hinting you want someone to "post similar femdom images") so you can get someone to satisfy your bizarre need to discuss Hyperbole's intimate personal habits with anyone, anywhere. Esp. on a comedy site. Get that shit off this page immediately. Peace, you gay nigger. pillow talk 19:47, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

:) Thank you. That's from my Battle of the Sexes article right? My g/f actually found that in the downloads directory of my computer once and asked difficult questions about it. She was actually concerned about me, and it took me ages to explain that it was just for that article. Even when I showed her it in the article (in context) she was still kinda "odd" about it. Just as well she never found where I actually hide my porn... *cough* MrN 19:55, Feb 4

My girlfriend has found *so much worse* than that picture on my computer. Fortunately, she's very open-minded about such things, having just ended a four-year relationship with another woman and such and such. As long as there are no children or animals involved, I think she's incapable of being shocked. pillow talk 20:01, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

This reminds me of when a friend of mine with whom I shared intimate relations had watched a relatively innocent rented video and hadn't removed it from the VCR (yes, I'm old enough to remember VCRs). What my friend didn't know was that I had removed that tape and had inserted another one that, well, was not one the family video place would rent. So my friend took the video out (my video, not the rented one), and took it back to the video store. Fortunately, the worker at the store noticed the titles didn't match. But my friend was very embarrassed, and reprimanded me with, "Why didn't you tell me you put in a different video?" I said "Why didn't you check it before you took it to the store?" King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:46, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

In regard to "as long as there are no children or animals involved, I think she's incapable of being shocked." I bet she'd be shocked by PuppyOnTheRadio, then. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:22, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Hype, remember this picture?

Those cans make me question my non-belief in God. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:44, 4 Feb

Ice creams or GTFO. MrN 23:46, Feb 4

I don't have any ice creams, but I did provide some cones. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:49, 4 Feb

And... Somewhere to store them. MrN 23:53, Feb 4

Actually...

The most convincing evidence of the negligible scale on which global warming is occurring are the ice core records. You look at those graphs and you see that everything they've ever told you about global warming is complete and utter bull. Now everybody STFU and go write an article or something. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:12, 4 February 2010

I think the real question here is who the "they" you're referring to are. pillow talk 21:20, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

You don't get to find out that right away. You have to have sex with a grey lizard from the Zeta Reticuli star system first. That or watch the video(s) maybe. Na.

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

MrN 21:41, Feb 4

huffed article: Nathan Explosion

Not quite sure why this was huffed, I've seen articles much shorter than mine, and I spent a while crafting that infobox. If you want it expanded, I will do so, I wasn't aware that it wasn't up to snuff.

--Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 1554 EST 3 February, 2010

Hi. Well, it was huffed because I put an expand tag onto it, and you did not expand it. As well as that, I personally found no giggles at all. It looked like you had added a few random things in, but I could not find where you had attempted to make it funny. Maybe you had, I'm not sure, but it was the fact that it was not expanded that it was huffed. That said, I have put a copy here for ya. Make sure you expand it some more, and try to add in some material which will appeal to people who don't know the subject before moving it back to mainspace. As it is now I feel confident that it would be huffed if it were put onto VFD (though obviously I could be wrong). If that did happen you then could not get it back. Oh, Optimuschris said he might like to contribute to this, so maybe have a word with him. Enjoy. MrN 22:49, Feb 3

The correct answer is, it was just TOO BRUTAL for Uncyclopedia. Plus all that other stuff MrN said. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:57, 3 Feb

Don't give me all that. This is really about those transcripts of me grooming the prepubescent boy on IRC and that picture of me jacking off that I gave to that him ain't it? MrN 23:02, Feb 3

Got Bot?

Morning old chap, if you have a spare few minutes and the inclination, would you mind awfully pointing the postbot at Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/04-02-10? Would be much obliged. --UU - natter 09:16, Feb 4

Much ass grassy ass. I notice you dropped a copy in for Max - want to do the same for Spang, for similar reasons? --UU - natter 16:26, Feb 4

Wow. Careful. I'm not that brave you know! OK... I will see if I can get away with it.. :) MrN 16:38, Feb 4

UnSignpost 4th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!

Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently By UU Renowned Wikia fan, code monkey and sexy admin Spang has performed what many users believe to be the clearest sign to date of impending apocalypse: he's archived his talk page. After almost 2 years of torturing the Wiki's servers, and having amassed a fairly impressive 410,844 bytes of content, Spang finally decided to give people the chance to talk to him without waiting for half an hour for his page to load. When asked for his reasoning behind this unprecedented move, the muddy funster quipped "no comment". Faced with such dazzling repartee, this reporter has no choice but to cut to the next story and hope he has some better quotes to pad it out with. Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost By Someone who definitely isn't running out of ideas already this year Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say: Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off. Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access. Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger. And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?." Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope.

Check out these pages! No really, it's archived and everything! There are moar quesitons than answers Not sure what the point is, but it's not made with a certain style A question we have all asked, so many times From our logs: 13:56, 2 February 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 161.12.7.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Take it to Niggermania, VNN or one of the many charming forums for racist lunatics like yourself out there.) 11:15, 1 February 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.49.98.244 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (ITALY does not rule and has not ruled for quite some time now actually. Blame the Christians if I were you...) 19:46, 29 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.11.81.96 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Improve your manners, cunt) 09:51, 29 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.167.51.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (UN:VAIN. have a quick read of it, and see why we're not interested in you. although you could probably just look in a mirror and figure that out...) Biopic Legend of the Week MadMax. Forty two thousand edits. Countless other contributions that can never be measured by simple Wiki stats software. No drama. Ever. Probably the single greatest force for good on this miserable little wiki. And it took us until issue 74 to profile him. The UnSignpost sucks; Max certainly doesn't. Old School Featured Article of the Week The 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube is by far "The Most Difficult Puzzle Of All Time™". Many have scrambled, twisted and turned this mythical puzzle, but few have solved it. By the end of this article, YOU TOO will be able to solve this puzzle. Unfortunately... you may encounter some problems on the way though... such as, twisting the cube the wrong way when speedsolving. The Desperate Return of Cajek Ban of the Week! (Block log); 10:20 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10000 years ("And he shall scourage the Earth for 9999 years. And then one more" Book of Mordillo, chapter 1 verse plox. ) Horoscope of the Week Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - So, yeah, it's the start of Black History Month. And speaking of Black History, seems like it's an appropriate time to finally track down your real father. You see, it turns out, that's not just a Jew-fro. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here. Redundancy of the Week Did we mention Spang's archived his talk page?

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9001(bot)  15:14, Feb 4

Soma

Dude! I know you have a lot to do, and you have helped a lot. I reworked Soma according to a helpful Pee, and I just put in a self nom on VFH. If it doesn't work, then I bet you could rewrite it and make it work. Lets see. I used Wikipedia style with short intro (for a change). I know, I'm just being impatient, yes, you're right. But if that's the worse I am, then no big deal!

I'm looking forward to replies to my questions. Because it just might be the "liability" factor being off us, is, perhaps, worth the control. So far "W" have not seemed to mind whats going on - even though they're the liable party in any dispute. Anyway, liability is a big factor for this wonderful site.

BTW: Now Laird's article would piss him off. I guess if the subject doesn't feel pissed off then it must be a weak article. Hows things, dude?--Funnybony 17:15, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hea, not too much going on... Same old stuff ya know... :D Well I wish you luck with Soma. Yea, I have been pants. I did say I would edit it. I was struggling a bit though as was kinda struggling to do it without totally taking over the whole article, which I did not want to do. I did make some edits to 2012 a while back. If you are looking to polish something else up for VFH that might be a good one to look at again... I'm not sure how Soma will do on VFH. Now that article may very well be such that it goes over the head of VFH. I doubt many people will understand a lot what you are doing there. You never know. I have been reading through that document you sent me. Interesting stuff. I will have a load of questions for you when I'm done with it I'm sure. I do want to get involved with that Freddie article we were talking about. From the sound of it, there might be a few other people around here who would also be interested in editing it... If Soma does not do well, please don't be disheartened. Some people on this site care far too much about having an FA template on their user page, and actually seldom do much to other articles which are not "theirs" because they know they will not get the template for it if they do that. Why would they spend time working on something if they don't get the badge for it? That's not how I see this wiki, and that's not how most of our best users see it. {MadMax for example has (to my knowledge) never got an FA, but as UU said in this weeks pager, he is a bloody awesome user. It ain't about the FA credit man... Though I know it's nice from time to time ;) If you want to edit something new, maybe you might take a look at Freddie's current article... Find some different versions in the history and look for ideas which can be included into the new version. As you see, I'm trying to teach ya how to do a rewrite ;) Cut out what is obviously crap from the current (or best version you can find, you can revert to any version in the history if you get the hang of how the history page works) and start trying to convert his article into the style that we were heading for. If you managed to get that going, I will start wading in myself, and hopefully a few other people will join in also. I'm glad to see that you are using Pee Review a bit more also, just remember to try to do a few reviews yourself if you are getting them done for you... MrN 17:55, Feb 4

Yeah!!! Soma might bomb completely, but there will still be another chance if you do a rewrite. Which you're welcome to do. 2012 needs the lists shortened, but I don't know what to delete!? Any suggestions, OKOK, the ones that aren't funny... but! They're all funny. Ghad!!!--Funnybony 09:24, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

You told 151.49.98.244 that Italy does not rule. You know what I must do now.

Jenny? 20:19,4February,2010

Yea, but I was lying when I said that. Obviously everyone knows that the Vatican actually controls the New World Order... :P What? MrN 20:22, Feb 4

So the Vatican is full of Jews? :P • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 20:49, Feb 4 2010

Na, that's the Black Pope and the Jesuits... Wait, they probably are Jews. Screw it, I'm converting to Judaism. What? I'm not allowed in? Why? Oh, yea... That. MrN 20:59, Feb 4

ITaly. Jenny? 21:04,4February,2010

British Lord Monckton

Good lord, why is there no article on this man? MadMax 20:49, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

He does appear to be getting a lot of attention at the moment for some reason! Are you suggesting a collaboration Sir MadMax? MrN 20:51, Feb 4

Ice Creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

Ice creams!

OK. I have started selling Ice creams on my talk page. Please form an orderly queue behind the picture of the bird pissing on the bloke up there... 95p for a single flake, and £1.50 for a double. MrN 21:29, Feb 4

I'll take a double. I need an ice cream; somebody just stole my UotM Award. :-( (See here and there. And by the way, I'm not at all upset; I thought it was funny.) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:37, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

That will be £3. You think the cable we don't know that? I think you boys are more than big enough to look after yourselves... MrN 21:44, Feb 4

But you said "£1.50 for a double." Why am I being charged £3? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:51, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Inflation. MrN 21:53, Feb 4

lol. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:57, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

no, it's because of the sun. MrN 21:59, Feb 4

Categorical thanks

Thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:41, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. No need to say thanks. :-) MrN 23:42, Feb 4

Various from Spike

I've just poked into a new namespace with UnNews:Government Unveils Shatter-proof Pint, based on an only slightly less ridiculous story that moved here on the AP wire, based on a thoroughly ridiculous declaration of Her Majesty's Government. You may be able to tell me if I'm doing anything seriously wrong--or, based on the many pound-signs just above, add some authentic local colour.

Separately, my frequent collaborator Romartus cast the only vote against Work in VFH, which stated that the trailing sections lagged in quality (as they were leftovers from earlier times). We've just rewritten the History section and the resulting article is even better than the featured version, not that that's grounds for swapping it in.

Lord Moncton appears on radio talk shows over here from time to time. He fits right in.

Why is most of your talk page about masturbation? Spıke ¬  00:58 5-Feb-10

Romartus, along with Sycamore, are two of the most frequent "Against" voters on the wiki. Now, if you'll excuse me, my penis needs tending to. pillow talk 01:03, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

No! read on (well, I guess you won't), I am grateful for the rationale in his No vote as well as his collaboration in rectifying what he correctly observed. Spıke ¬  01:08 5-Feb-10

Meh. There are far too many pussies voting on VFH who are too scared to vote against so they silent abstain IMO. For the wiki it's actually more useful if people vote against if they don't think it's an FA. I may not always agree with how Rotomus votes, but I do respect the fact that he's got the balls to vote the way he feels is right.

Spike, ya need a pic in there, and then you can add it to {{RecentUnNews}} which will make it appear in the list on the front page. Make sure you read the instructions, and remember to remove one from the end to keep the total at 15. :D Hope you like my changes... MrN 01:18, Feb 5

Done (with one false start, as {{RecentUnNews}} instructions were buried in the code). I do like the substantive changes; putting quotes in italics was odd but I left it; fixed one broken sentence and deleted the footnote apologizing for hewing too closely to AP, as it's no longer true given your changes. Thanks for the help! Spıke ¬  01:38 5-Feb-10

That's just how I do my quotes... Whatever you prefer I guess so long is it's consistent. I made a little change to {{RecentUnNews}} for ya also... Obviously it's fine to add stuff into that, but we do like it to be close to finished before it's added. It's also worth pointing out that anyone can add a good UnNews into that template if they see one, and realise that the author did not know how to do it. As you see... We don't like to advertise how to do that too much, that way we get less pictures of cocks on the main page... Enjoy. MrN 01:44, Feb 5

We seem to have stumbled on the same illustration independently. But your changes to the first sentence sell the story. Thank you very much, this Labatt's to you! Spıke ¬  01:56 5-Feb-10

Na, I just used the one you had... MrN 01:57, Feb 5

After a fourth day of contributing stories, I read the intro, and quotes-in-italics is indeed the local style, specified probably by the Rev.Zim. By the way, thanks for defending my user page overnight. Spıke ¬  17:42 7-Feb-10

I still can't believe you are trying to save Penis sword! Lol. Maybe you might like to take the best of that article and merge it into Penis and then I could huff it? Looks like that VFD vote is not going to come back from the dead now... MrN 17:48, Feb 7

All right, give me half an hour before you toast it. In fact, I have been to Penis before--am responsible for adding the final illustration in Section 6. Spıke ¬  17:55 7-Feb-10

I'm sure you can make a fine erection out of it... :D MrN 17:59, Feb 7

Sections 1-3 of Penis sword are now a new Section 6 of Penis. You may now have your way with my Penis sword. As it were. Spıke ¬  18:09 7-Feb-10

I will get my chopper out... MrN 19:11, Feb 7

Yikes! Anyway, Penis is now mostly rewritten, much less babble. Except for that God-awful list of euphemisms at the end. Some have got to be vanity, some won't mean anything to more than a handful of people, but I don't know which. Separately, I've minced some words in Objectivity and added a section on Objectivity in the law. Have fun. Spıke ¬  03:00 8-Feb-10

Apocalypse? OMGWTFBBQ!!!

Alright, I know I wasn't supposed to, but I watched the video. He's very collected, but all the data doesn't go past 2004. Why is this? Is it because... he's a fraud!?!?!?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 06:40, Feb 7 2010

Ah, but did you watch the full version or just the sound bites? You can't be a Lord Monckton DENIER unless you have watched the full version... That video is a few years old now, it did come out well before the climate gate scandal broke. 2004?!?!? In 2007 his contribution to the IPCC's Fourth Assessment Report - the correction of a table inserted by IPCC bureaucrats that had overstated tenfold the observed contribution of the Greenland and West Antarctic ice sheets to sea-level rise earned him the status of Nobel Peace Laureate. I thought it was crazy to say that man made global warming was a problem (pollution = bad, C02 != pollution)... Then one day I discovered that David Bellamy thought that it was bullshit also. WTF I thought??? Then, I looked into it in more detail... MrN 08:05, Feb 7

It's not how in the future. It's by his going far back in history of earth science and shows natural trends which are not man made. And in NWO Politics he just plain knows what's going on. I'd like to see his up to date assessment of NWO. Thanks for putting the VDO and that bit of info here. Lots of people are/were fooled. Which IS the very idea.--Funnybony 18:47, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Well, most people don't have the time to spend a whole year of personal research trying to find out what is going on. I'm not sure it's beneficial to talk seriously about the NWO. Despite the fact that if you google the term you get thousands of hits of world leaders all over the planet talking about it. There are even quotes where the power brokers of the world actually say that global warming "fits the bill nicely" as a method of control. I find people relate more easily if you mention the Lizard people, and the Loch Ness monster, and the fairies and the flat earth, and the hollow earth, and the UFOs, and Elves, and leprechauns :) It's almost like someone had planned it all ;)... Wikipedia has two articles about the NWO. The one where they admit it's real... and the one where they say it's a "conspiracy theory". I'm sure George Orwell said something about double think... Magic wands in the old days were made out of Hollywood with which they cast their spell onto people ya know. See. MrN has lost it... Apparently... The wikipedia article on "magic" is actually rather good. Don't know if you have read it... I find there are 3 stages of knowledge... First things are ignored. Then violently opposed via mocking and ridicule, and then they are accepted as obvious. Or is it Ignorance, Arrogance and Enlightenment?.. I struggle with getting past the arrogance myself. That's my problem... If you are going to tell a lie... Make it big and make it simple. People will never consider that it could be a lie if its big enough... Especially as often the first people to notice such things and talk about them are the crazy people who believe all the other crazy stuff... Not like us eh? We are not crazy. It's them! Those guys who live in my head. They are the crazy ones... Listen to them laugh! HaHa! Could I have my medication now please? Note:MrN would like to go on the record as pointing out that he does not actually really believe in Lizard people. Not even David Icke really believes that crock of fucking bullshit... ;) MrN 19:37, Feb 7

What IS a Lizard person supposed to be?--Funnybony 19:49, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Not a Jew. That's the first mistake people make when they start to get it. Icke is not against Jewish people. He is talking about the "reptilian brain" which is real. He is also talking about genetic bloodlines. Mostly what he is talking about is evil rich fuckers who just want to be more evil and rich... As you said... Follow the money... ;-) I sure as hell don't agree with all Icke has to say btw... Some of it is him pretending to be more crazy than he really is (for various reasons) and some of it actually is that he has really spent too long talking to too many other nutters. ;) Not like us. Obviously... :D MrN 20:04, Feb 7

What was that about BBQ? Jenny? 04:06,11February,2010

Thanks dude

Thanks for pulling Soma, it was headed no where, and I regretted the Nom without your input.

One thing I notice about your winning style is, unlike Wikipedia article, you seem to 1) start with a long beginning, and 2) make it sound very personal, like it's you telling a story. I wasn't aware that was cool. Should I start to do that? Or just keep my style and leave that to you?

Also, if I and our guitar player wrote a song then the record said "Hill/Brown" - so why can't two collaborating writers of a FA BOTH get credit, why only one person? Like 2012, it didn't stand a chance in my surfer style, but you changed it and Laird Hamilton both to be possible winners. That means that it was your work with made success possible? So why should only I get credit on a joint venture? Just wondering how to proceed. Reply coming...--Funnybony 18:41, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

FA credit? Success possible? What got FA? I see no FAs here... 2012 is far from in the bag yet, and I actually think that Laird will not make it. :) Yea, Soma was never going to fly in it's current form... Well I figured that you had still done most of the work on those two articles so I figured sharing the "credit" was not appropriate. I also really don't care much about FAs anyway. How about this... We will call 2012 a collaboration, but Laird stays as being credited just to you?

As for article style... I vary mine. Sometimes I'm more formal, and take an encyclopaedic tone, sometimes I write in the first person. The point is to entertain as best you can. Cool is whatever works I guess. Depending on the subject also... Sometimes when I write I pretend to be an author with an amusing point of view so that I can set-up a load of self mocking jokes, sometimes I write very seriously deadpan style, or sometimes I'm really just being myself and trying to make a subject funny while I talk about it. As for what you should do... I can't tell you that. As Yoda said "You must do what you feel is right of-course". What is right will probably be what feels the most natural for you. I don't think you should have a fixed style. Let it flow man. Am I telling you this carp? Dude. It's just like music man... I think you have been trying to force a style which is what you think is wanted, when probably what you should do is actually be yourself a bit more... Having read some of your works from outside Uncyc it's clear you have a mastery of the use of language, but looking at many of your articles here that's not so obvious... You have been going for the surfer dude type style in too much of your work perhaps... Maybe write a bit more like you do in your serious works, but hea. I sure as heck can't tell you what feels right for you... MrN 19:55, Feb 7

As I have said... Go to UN:BEST. Read... Repeat. For you right now... That's probably the best thing you can do to improve your style. That and reading HTBFANJS from beginning to end every night b4 you go to bed... Which I'm sure you do. :) MrN 20:07, Feb 7

I LIKE PIE!!!

I WILL NOT GET BANNED AGAIN "clapping hands"!!!--I LIKE PIE!!! 21:21, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

# 21:36, 7 February 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of
infinite ‎ (God damn it, are you like 5 years old or something? Christ almighty, get out.) (unblock | change block) 

Apparently he liked Pie... R.I.P MrN 22:43, Feb 7

Star651

On a possibly related note, User:Star651, created 25-Jan, no user page, no talk page, no contributions, has just sent me e-mail raving about my UnNews article on the Super Bowl and probing to see if I share some of his interests. Not gonna answer it unless I know what his game is. Spıke ¬  03:05 8-Feb-10

I do. I'll block his option to send emails. Ignore him, he's a troll. ~ 07:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

QVFD

I added those articles to QVFD THEN you added the comments to my talk page.--Yutsi 00:42, February 23, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, looks like the server may have been lagging at my end. My Bad. You would still be well advised to lay off the maintenance tasks for a little while longer however. You might notice that everyone else on this page posts new messages to the end of the page... I think you just need to spend a bit more time finding out how things work around here, and I'm sure you have a lot to offer Uncyclopeda. Welcome. MrN 00:57, Feb 23

Lord Christopher Monckton

Hey Dude! I just read several featured articles, and spent over 90 minutes watching Lord Christopher Monckton's "Apocalypse? No!" Some guy asked something like, you're on the right and believe in God, so why should we believe you? I didn't hear him mention God except at the end he said, "God bless you!" which is kind of just a standard thing to say. Otherwise religion played ZERO part in his presentation, which was very interesting. That previous hot cycles have taken place regularly in the past proves it all! Thanks for putting that up as I would never have found it. The last question about NWO was to the point where it's time to read United States of Earth. I tried something different with Soma that might be in the right direction... Take care!--Funnybony 17:23, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

My experience is that those who judge someone's views about one subject based on their views about another subject will learn far less than they could. I also like the quote "A mind is like a parachute, it works best when it's open" :) Atheism is a religion btw ;) Atheism (religion). Atheists have faith that science will one day explain everything. That concept has always amused me! If you want to annoy an atheist, tell them they have faith. :) Just because organized religion has been used by evil men to control good men, that don't mean it's all bull. I will take another look at those two, but maybe not tonight. I still have some of your other stuff to read through also! Have a think about how our article on Lord Monckton DENIER could be put together... I have a few ideas, but not really enough to make a start yet. MrN 18:29, Feb 10

I think the article needs an intro like he gets before he speaks, and then let him speak, quote him...specially Questions and Answers. Make him a Super Royal Scientist.--Funnybony 08:15, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Lord Christopher Monckton DENIER

Welcome ladies and gents. Our speaker needs no introduction, none at all, but I normally give one, so here goes. Lord Christopher Monckton, 1st Nobel of Benchely, is the 2nd Uncle of Prince Phillip, and will most probably become King of England unless HM The Queen lives forever, which is the case so far. He is a world-renowned denier, and he has successfully denied that the Earth was round, and also disproved electricity and gravity. But his most well known denial is that global warming is bad and that Al Gore is good, both of which Lord Monckton considers poppycock.

His name is known widely, even as far as the Bleached Bone, North Dakota. In fact, Lord Christopher Monckton is the ONLY person the residents of North Dakota have ever heard of, apart from Jack Bauer.

In this talk Lord Christopher Monckton will explain how the Sun, not humans, is responsible for global warming, and why global warming is actually quite wonderful. If it weren’t for global warming, “we would all be freezing our nuts off”.

He will disprove all the lies told by Al Gore in his SiFi horror fiction film, An Unacceptable Truth, and Lord Monckton will demonstrate how the Medieval Warming period, which was immorally deleted completely by Gore, was truly a golden age, when the price of grains was dirt cheap and there was no bloody Rap Music. The Muslims were brought under control by God Him/Herself after proving themselves to be mentally challenged, and ass holes were drawn and quartered.

He is here to take our questions and set our minds at ease, Ladies and Gentlemen, will you please welcome His Right Royal Lord Christopher Monckton…

Applause

"Thank you! Thank you! Alright quiet down now! Thanks! Thanks you! That's enough! Stop! Will you all shut up!!"

Quiet

"Good! That's much better! Now, you're probably wondering what right do I have to deny anything? Well, I have as much right as OJ Simpson or Charlie Manson!"

THIS IS BS. But bull shit is better than horse shit (according to the Hindus). Some question and answer deal, like at the end of his talk. Daa--Funnybony 13:49, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Denier

Good job on Denier. I couldn't think of a single way to improve it. And lots of laughs. I hope my straight article comes across, cause it makes me laugh. And I saw that MadMax went through and edited plus added funny links. I had a good laugh just reading his edits. Please add or change anything you like... I think the point is made about Global Warming. It's actually pretty silly to even consider humans, rather than the obvious Sun, could cause global warming!?? Way to go, and thanks for the intro to the great man.--Funnybony 20:19, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Both articles still need lots of attention IMO. Yea, Max is very handy with the links. He's been around since the beginning of time so knows most of what we have. I will take a look at what you did... He is probably the most respectable person around who has a public profile who knows the score and tells it. If Monckton is wrong I will eat my hat. MrN 20:35, Feb 13

Jenny? 00:08,11February,2010

Because keeping the drama going is a good thing for the site right? No, it upsets many people, and distracts others away from actually being creative. Also it's borderline UN:CBN aimed at the guy himself. We are not ED. I am please that you did not create another forum after I deleted that one. Thanks for that. Seriously. MrN 00:12, Feb 11

I tried to make it clear in the first sentence of the forum that I was NOT trying to start drama. Jenny? 02:06,11February,2010

Fair enough. But you were wrong. It did. I'm sure there was a reason why you created it other than to create drama, but I can't for the life of me think what it was. MrN 02:09, Feb 11

It was because I saw the stuff on his talk page, thought it was kinda funny, and thought he deserved a proper, non-drama-filled farewell. If there's ever something that gets me infibanned, I'd want users to create a goodbye for me. And even though he can't edit, he can still see the forum (if he happens to notice it). Jenny? 03:18,11February,2010

[some user name]

A sockpuppet of [some other user name], I presume? Why would he have asked me to rescue [some article] after his last ban, if he intended to spend the rest of his life reverting it, this time moving my edition to a new name? Are there more than one of them? Spıke ¬  00:20 11-Feb-10

He's a retard. You encouraged him a little. Read this MrN 00:23, Feb 11

Oh... This is probably better MrN 00:28, Feb 11

No, I understand why vandals vandalize--and maybe even why jihadists wage jihad. It's simply odd that, if a rewritten article were to be his trophy, he would keep trying to revert. Perhaps it is just the delight of inducing yet another user to enter a pissing war with him. Well, I knew he was probably a twerp when I took it on; I rewrote one of his three suggested articles because it was good work waiting to be done, and avoided the other two because I couldn't. Thanks for defending it. Spıke ¬  01:23 11-Feb-10

Nope. You did not understand why I linked you to this. What are you doing right now being here on my talk page? Hopefully you understand... MrN 01:26, Feb 11

I do. Let me censor the start of this section.... Spıke ¬  01:36 11-Feb-10

Cool. My answer still stands also... He's a retard. Nothing more... Actually, that's being un-fair to retards, many of whom are good people... MrN 01:40, Feb 11

Question

I was wondering why did you permablock the I LIKE PIE forum? I'm not making a big deal about it cause i honestly don't give a shit, but I am curious because there wasnt anything stupid and no flamewars and offesive stuff, just us uswers having a little with a ten year old who got his ass kicked, or as we say on Uncyclopedia, banned.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 02:58, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Question

I was wondering why you permablock the I like pie is dead forum. I'm not making a big deal about it cause I dont really give a shit, but I'm curious because it was nothing stupid and no flamewars or offensive stuff was put on there, its just a little fun for a 10 year old who got his little white ass kicked, or as they say in Uncyclopedia, banned.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 02:54, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Aw fuck, I put that question there twice becaue the first time it messed up and I thought the message was deleted, guess not, sorry. But who gives a fuck

Not me. I certainly can't be arsed to type out a long explanation telling you how wikis work as a result of it. I suggest you go and read what Mordillo typed in the forum again. MrN 03:04, Feb 11

Question

Why do hotdogs come in packages of 8, but hot dog buns come in packages of 10? -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 04:43, Feb. 11, 2010

They are just fucking with us man. It's that simple. MrN 09:50, Feb 11

Get real, both of youse! Hot dogs take time to cook. Buns don't. If you are at a cookout where the chef gloms down only the two surplus buns waiting for the dogs to char, you are lucky. Spıke ¬  17:51 18-Feb-10

Thanks

For the long discussion today. No hard feelings on my end, it was more like, "That's been nommed?" morphing into a quick discussion on the merits of both the page and its "yes" voters. Anyway, thanks again, and enjoy. Aleister in Chains 4:35 11 Feb. MMX

Hea. I was trolling. I really was. As was the person who was pretending to be the user we are talking about IMO. What generally happens is that someone makes a post (like I did with that comment) and then sits back to see what happens. It's then very funny for them to watch and see if some people get upset about it, or take it more seriously than some other people do. IMO you sir have been thoroughly trolled. Some trolls are more harmless than others, but all distract the wiki away from actually writing articles and making Uncyc the best amusing parody of Wikipedia it can be. I may be wrong, but I doubt that even a 10 year old is daft enough to act in the way that guy did after the two warning bans he had received. I guess I was trying to enforce a little bit of this regarding what I did consider to be a sockpuppet rather than a real users, but no hard feelings at all though... In the end... UN:N applies in large quantities. It's all good. ;) MrN 10:02, Feb 11

Nice troll. I was reeled in like a baby guppie. As for cake, if he is also a troll that makes it even more fun, but the reason I doubt it is the sports scores he was listing. I'd do stuff likethat when I was 10 (or 20), that pegs him at 10 unless he's a real good puppet, like the Little Mermaid/Hey People episode. And he didn't once give a sexual comment, which again shows good puppetry or a pre-puberty thought structure. But on the nom, you got me, I will now go and lick my wounds. Al 12:33 11 Feb. MMX

If it was a troll why the VFD nom? I put up a vote and comment there, but will try to keep the drama down while saving a good article. If for some reason, and I don't really know why it should be considering its interesting history and the fact that many established users like it, if it is taken down please move it to my userspace, discussion page too. Thanks. Aleister in Chains 13:23 12 Feb. MMX

And I've improved the first line of the article after a comment by Spike. This makes the point of the page much clearer and funnier, imnho. Al 13:48 12 Feb. MMX

Well, the nom had little to do with the troll really. I just thought that it was not really that great an article. I'm not really a fan of poster style articles like that. They tend to make n00bs think that they can create a similar article but then get frustrated because they are quickly huffed when they don't have the support of the group of users who like the inside joke associated with it. Think of it this way... If an IP had created this, and it was not related to any other issue, would it have normally survived QVFD? Maybe, maybe not... I might have huffed it, and I know that many other admins might have also. I'm sure someone would have put it onto QVFD. Still, if it survives on VFD... Good luck to ya sir, clearly that will mean that my judgement was in error. Obviously if it does get deleted, you can have a copy in user space. MrN 14:01, Feb 12

Thanks. Again, just a pov thing. Possibly the concern of some is that this makes uncy more EDlike, but I think with the improvements it moves well beyond that. And I would draw a clear line at ED's enjoyment of dead bodies and wounds and such. To kiss ass a little, ape style, I really enjoy your new article on userspace. But if you tell anyone I'll DENY it.Al a few minutes later

Oh, you nosey blighter you! I bet it's you who has been going through the bins around the back of the poopsmiths lounge! MrN 14:17, Feb 12

What I forgot to mention was... If it survives VFD... Then you can put it into the In-Jokes category... ;) I'm sure you will agree that's fair. VFD is almost always the best judge. Except when it disagrees with me obviously. ;-) Good luck! MrN 14:24, Feb 12

ATTENTION COLONIZERS: WE ARE RECREATING CREATIONISM

The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 05:17, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Robot Required

I think you know what to do. The gratitude is in the post. Or something. --UU - natter 11:34, Feb 11

He loves it really. MrN 12:56, Feb 11

UnSignpost 11th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

Feb 11th, 2010 • Issue 75 • Picking the nuts of truth out of the muesli of news. Or something.

New way to win awards, impress friends, crush rivals! By UU Writing competitions, eh? With the Poo Lit Surprise, the Turkey Day Ball, and a conservation week or two, it would seem Uncyclopedians can't get enough of 'em. And now there's another! But this one has a point that separates it from the herd. Well a couple of points, actually. One: it's organised by human wiki-whirlwind MadMax, so it'll probably be efficient as all get-out; two: it's a sneaky way of fulfilling a need. See, there are all these great ideas for articles floating around at UN:REQ; articles that would undoubtedly improve this festering little wiki. And there they sit, being good ideas, but not being used. This competition aims to change all that! Yes, that's right, The Article Whisperer is a competition that gives you the ideas to get you started, all you need to do is supply the funny. What could be easier? Well, since you ask, perhaps judging it could? Max is also looking for at least 4 more opinionated types, unafraid of passing withering judgement on their peers. If you're interested in judging or entering, or if you have a good idea that would elevate this competition from being a damn good idea to a colossally awesome one, let MadMax know either on his talk page, or on the article's talk page. For those who want to selflessly improve the wiki while crushing all around them under the steel wheels of their genius, there can be no finer opportunity! General news round-up By UU As several things have been happening recently in Uncyclopedia, and ace cub reporter DogNewspaper is in some sort of snow-induced hibernation, and consequently too lazy to write individual articles on any of them, here is a quick synopsis of a couple of the more newsworthy recent events on the wiki in handy easy-to-digest bite-sized chunks. Mordillo nearly went mad attempting to feature all articles tied for tenth place in the top 10 of last year. And then spent the rest of this month to date patiently fielding questions about how long the rest of the featuring was going to take, and when normal featuring would resume. POTR did his best to help. When not asked for a quote, Mordillo said "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND SEE YOU IN 2011". We think he's just talking about the top 10, and not about taking a 10 month hiatus. That is, we hope so. A recent VFD nomination ended in a deletion marathon, as MrN and RDB spent 2 hours removing every last trace of the notorious Game:Page. Apart from the traces Mordillo deleted, that is. And the redirects to it that UU took care of, come to think of it. But still, all told, an impressive act of mass carnage only made more awesome by the fact that they somehow managed to delete Socky's userpage at one point during the proceedings. MrN claims "Both RDB and me still have sore huffing fingers you know".

Check out these pages! Insulting sports players - the future of comedy When is a month not a month? The most important link you'll ever click From our logs: 15:04, 8 February 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 169.139.1.20 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (We are having communications issues here. When I say don't recreate, it means don't press that little create button and paste the same content for the third time) 11:55, 8 February 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.75.78.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (there are a million better things you could be doing with your life right now, but you're inserting barely literate insults to a sports player on a comedy wiki. must suck really hard to be you.) 08:35, 7 February 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.92.151.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (We don't care if you fuck horses. No need to tell the world. Maybe the police, but that's up to you.) Biopic of the Week Being as he's now been on Uncyclopedia for three bastardin' years, this seems as good a time as any to profile Kip the Dip. A man of many contrasts, Kip appears to be some sort of useful gobshite. His enthusiasm for all things Uncyclopedia, including his tireless championing of Euroipods and sterling work on The word parakeet written exactly two hundred and forty-two times have helped make this wiki what it is today. The Worst. Thanks, Kip. Old School Featured Article of the Week Patriotism is an air-borne disease caused by the bacterium enlistment bonusai. It was first observed in 1776 by Dr. Arnold Bazonga, but was initially confused with the alcohol-borne illness bravery. Patriotism is communicable through the auditory ingestion of feces. Contamination often occurs from politicians, entrepreneurs, country music singers, Richard Albinger and French Emperors. Final Side-Panel Box of the Week Because we don't need that much padding this week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  13:02, Feb 11

User JGordon

--is once again doing edits that, as you put it on his talk page, "suck balls." I happen to be watching Penis after the recent move of text, and I see he has done comparable work (one more quotation regarding what Anne Hathaway lets her boyfriend do) to two other pages dealing with Naughty Bits. I've suggested on his talk page that he help with the clean-up. You might want to review the situation. Spıke ¬  22:27 12-Feb-10

Now those were some edits which really do suck balls... MrN 22:52, Feb 12

http://www.instantrimshot.com • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 23:22, Feb 12 2010

Predictably, he also hit Anne Hathaway. (Bottom line: She's a slut!) Aleister cleaned it up, and Mordillo protected it against IPs, which won't stop him. They missed one of his additions but I got it. Jilted lover before Hathaway became famous?! Spıke ¬  23:52 12-Feb-10

Well you saw my message on his talk page I guess. If someone makes enough shit edits, and fails to learn or fails to read HTBFANJS and act on it... I'm happy to get the ban stick out. I would not want to see non-admins threatening bans for a history of shit edits, I would like to see lots of warnings on talk pages with links to HTBFANJS. It's all good. You did the right thing (kinda). MrN 23:58, Feb 12

Actually, the right thing in this situation would have been to buy me some novelty T-shirts and mail them to me. pillow talk 00:01, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

If I mail anything to you it will be returning that 35 foot inflatable penis which I borrowed from you last year. I simply have no use for it in my garden whatsoever. Although I do agree it looks rather nice. MrN 00:05, Feb 13

Oh, is that what it was? At the party I thought it was a gigantic fountain. Probably shouldn't have let the kids play around in it, then... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 07:27, Feb 13 2010

Apropos of penises, there is now a new section Penis#Size doesn't matter. Can't keep my hands off it! Spıke ¬  02:24 15-Feb-10

Poem 2 U

I'm not much of a poet, even though my songs are all poems, but I dedicated one to you, on my UserPage at top of the list--Funnybony 08:24, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

I deny everything. I was rather pleased with the "and was the former advisor to Dennis Thatcher during the time when Margaret was being a real bitch." :) I don't know how much you knew about old Dennis, but he was always something of a hero of mine. :) MrN 08:29, Feb 14

That first vid you linked to (the one with the random dude) is pants mind. Who is he? Some random. Get a better one. Maybe one with Gore where he is talking about the sea level rising by 35 feet? MrN 08:35, Feb 14

Dude, the childish nature of the "lies" VDO kind of appealed to me, with AC/DC intro, and concise points, as being made by the good lord's "rather slender American boy friend". In that way it's silly but effective. But you have really researched this subject, so if you can direct me to a VDO that does as you say, just dealing with the Gore lies only, then please let me know and I'll change it (or you can just change the YouTube Link to the most appropriate VDO). I don't know much of Dennis, but the joke is WELL understood *grin* - good one. Later--Funnybony 09:57, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! I just changed the lead-in to the corny lies VDO. And it plays up the childish attempt in a way that only the VDO can reveal. And besides, it covers all the major lies in one go. Plus it was prepared by the good lord's "own son's rather slender and quite well-informed American boyfriend, Mr. Carson Bell. Please pay attention, as this is his feature film debut! And I see a promising future for this talented young director! Especially as the weather heats up a bit. Thank you..." And in this way it might be so bad that it's good!?!--Funnybony 14:40, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Yea, that's looking better. I think his use of English can be smoothed off a bit here and there but it's becoming rather good. I doubt this one will ever make it at VFH regardless of how good it is, but you are doing a great job with it. MrN 14:52, Feb 14

The best part is that we're getting his message across, via parody, but just the same, we're giving real truth. I just read that 30,000 scientists sued Gore. Man! How would you like to be sued by 30,000 scientists!? How bloody embarrassing! Did you see that? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdRaxN5jUZE --Funnybony 15:11, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Not seen that particular vid, but I did know this was going on. ;) Yea... The guy who founded the weather channel. Lol. Not that he would know anything about the weather... MrN 18:29, Feb 14

Moreover

Excellent choice, dear boy - a considerably more Cowardian term. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:00, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

One might suggest that perhaps Queen and Iron Maiden might have been better choices for the "straight" bands. Perhaps fat bottomed girls, and maybe... Oh, you get the idea. As for the pictures, I'm fresh out of ideas. I thought your reference to Seamen was a bit obvious, and kinda betrayed the subtlety of the rest of the article. I think you do the same thing in a few other places here and there also, although I could not think of what better to do without hacking it apart too much. It's quality stuff, but just needs that final bit of tender stimulation from a gentleman to bring it to a thoroughly satisfactory conclusion. Oh, the word Shag was never used anywhere??? A Shag is a type of sea-bird often encountered by seamen... Or a tobacco which could leave a nasty taste in ones mouth. Baldrick and Blackadder would approve of a mention of them I'm sure. MrN 13:44, Feb 14

I can has

cheeseburger rollback? --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 14, 20:33, 2010

One particular point tells me that you don't know enough about rollback to have it yet. The fact that you don't know what that is... Kinda proves my point ;) MrN 20:35, Feb 14

Actually, I do. It lets you revert edits with one click, and it lets you revert all the edits of the article made by the editor you rollbacked. You can also move pages without creating a redirect in the original page. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 14, 20:39, 2010

Actually, that was not the point which you did not know. Spend some more time on recent changes, and get handy with using the undo feature first... I'm not sure I have seen you use it much. Also... That was not the point you don't know either... ;) MrN 20:42, Feb 14

I used to have rollback status in another wiki. I did pretty well there. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 14, 20:44, 2010

I also use the undo button a lot too. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 14, 20:49, 2010

I'm sure you have had rollback on another wiki. That counts for nothing here. You have used undo a lot? Looking at your contributions I can't see where you have. Also, I can't see much evidence that you regularly monitor recent changes. Anyway... I can't give you rollback. Seriously. Which was my point. I suggest you take my advice and spend some more time on recent changes before asking someone who can. MrN 21:02, Feb 14

Okay... The use of undo is disguised by the usage of changed edit summaries, most of my time at uncyclopedia is spent looking at recent changes in most situations, and I have a lot of experience with the rollback feature. Also, with the exception of a few wikis, most wikis have the same underlying rules. Is my argument making any effect on your decision? --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 14, 23:53, 2010

Man. I CAN'T GIVE YOU ROLLBACK. Seriously. You need to talk to someone who can. Dude. I'm not a bureaucrat on this wiki. I'm a sysop. Only bureaucrats can do that here. You are the first person I ever saw who asked for rollback and did not know that. That's the main reason why I figured you probably don't know Uncyc well enough to have it. Uncyc is not like most other wiki. MrN 00:06, Feb 15

Oh. Well, this discussion was quite pointless. I'll ask Mordillo. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 15, 00:09, 2010

Sure was. Maybe you might have read what I was typing and you might have got that a few posts ago. When I told you. MrN 00:13, Feb 15

Sorry. I was misinterpreting your posts. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 15, 00:15, 2010

Okay! I NEVER read the HTBFANJS page!

I NEVER READ THE DAMN HTBFANJS Page because...I DON'T CARE!

Huffing Mutiny on the Bounty and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner was a low-blow so I'm not returning until Easter because of this! Either have them sent back...or...FUCK UNCYCLOPEDIA AND GOODBYE FOREVER!>:(MrCleveland 21:22, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

You are not leaving because of that. I saw you say this on another page. You said:

"Thanks for reading the Purpose-Driven Life Page and I took some of the ideas from Wikipedia and such. This is my first UnBooks page, so if you can please make it into a good article since I'll be off the internet for the Lenten Season. And if nothing happens...I put it on the UnBooks Request page. I can only give it as much as I can"

Don't lie to me. I ban people for that.

I warned you not to create any more pages and that you should work on the ones you had. The new pages you created were just the same as your old ones. Right now I think you are too young to edit Uncyclopedia. MrN 21:32, Feb 14

HA! Now you have to be nice to me! Or is it the other way around...

THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!!! JENNY #6!!!

Grazie. Jenny? 23:58,14February,2010