User:Eversincethewar/Deathcore
“What is Deathcore you ask? Deathcore is like strangling monkeys with an extension cord while you scrape your nails on a chalk board”
“Have you ever boiled a cat?...""...or poured hot acid on a chicken? Yeah it's something like that”
“Fuck you scene kids that was my idea”
“Who am I, why am I being ask questions about "Deathcore" I've never fucking heard of deathcore it sounds rude!”
Deathcore is an amalgamation of two musical styles: Ass and Dead Babies.
Characteristics[edit | edit source]
It is basically the mix between two genres Polka and Britpop which some how turns out to sound like an orangutan punching a baby in the face while you stab a bag of baby kittens with a soldering-iron while you watch gang-rape hentai with a sub-woofer speaker in the back thumping Sting's great hit...um....did he have any hits?.
History[edit | edit source]
Many People know that deathcore was invented by Yanni and he was very proud of the thing he created, so proud he introduced it to the famous grindcore band Waking the Cadaver and they took it and introduced it to the "great" band Greenday which they took it and killed Thom Yorke with it (which is why he became zombie Thom Yorke).
In the last 10years the order of deathcore has been switched around alot such as the fact that anyone who listens to one deathcore song mysteriously is killed by a pink meteor. Which is cool but since it's pink it's totally Gay no one wants to try to re-connect with you after your dead because they think your a total Fag for being killed by a pink meteor.
Latest news on deathcore it was spotted in southern California having sex with under age girls and stealing Malt liquor from corner stores.
How Deathcore Changed Andy Dick's Life[edit | edit source]
One day famed Queer Fanny bandit Comedian Andy Dick was walking home when he saw deathcore breathing hard a and bleeding all over the side-walk. He walked up to deathcore and solemnly asked "Whats wrong deathcore?" in which he reportedly said "Fuck you, you fucking Fag". "Why the hell are you talking to me you piece of queer bait?" So Andy like any upright citizen grabbed him by the neck and squeezed untill blood started streaming out of deathcore's mutilated mouth in which Andy took the opportunity to have gay sex with deathcore's mutilated broken body.
The Bands[edit | edit source]
Eternal Whore, iwatchedhercry, Divine Hershey Bar, The Who, The Chuck E Cheese Band, Radiohead, Ass Mutilating Cock Spit, Chickens Destroy Everything, AAAAAAAAA!, Awhoraphobic Cuntbleed, Greenday, Plus Many Other Non Sequiturs.
Grindcore Holocaust[edit | edit source]
Deathcore being the Nazi it is started the grindcore holocaust which lead to wars between anal cunt Eternal Lord and a big brawl between nintendocore bands iamerror and I Shot the Duck Hunt Dog and it caused all the scene kids to gather up and start screaming at each other which caused the screaming fight of 1339AD (Always Deathcore) in which the scene kids were to have said.
| “ | This is why we hate all y'all grindcore muther fuckers. | ” |
Then all the scene kids captured the grindcore lovers and put them into Concentration camps and beat them over and over again with wet towels and had a big scary lookin' mother fucker named Dan Gleesack beat them in the face with his 15in cock.
Then for some reason all the scene kids blew up from the atomicbreakdown of 3131AD.
Does Jesus like deathcore?[edit | edit source]
Recently in an article from the Washington Post it was reported people asking Jesus if he liked deathcore he responded
“Fuck yeah, Breakdowns Make my mother fuckin' day my dad hates when I listen to it but ya know what screw him he can suck a chode”
“That's it! I'm sending you back to earth you little shit.”
Etymology[edit | edit source]
Deathcore is in fact a form of Bat Fuck Insane which causes Diarrhea and involuntary spasms that cause you to kill and torture pine cones with a wet noodle and a Spork. The word deathcore comes from the Greek word Dethaminiuminomicore and then a bunch of gay paleontologists found it written on the side of a Br00t4l cave.
The Br00t4l Caves[edit | edit source]
This is where scene kids used to reside during the grindcore holocaust they were made of used black nail polish bottles and eyeliner tubes and were glued together with the scene kids spit which we all know has the properties of super glue.
“That's when we found it, the word "deathcore" as clear as day on the side of the br00t4l cave.”
these Br00t4l caves are today now known as Hot Topic the breeding ground of incest and other foul un-biased things such as roller derby, kitten smashing, Waterboarding, and Ellen DeGeneres Watching
| “ | I know not what lies beyond this serrated tomb but doth does this entail? | ” |