User:Aleister/archive11

Congrats

VFS! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:47, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

Sandwichs? Al then and now

No voting yet. Can you not read? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:00, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, stop it. (talk) 02:01, 12 April 2011

No, I didn't read about timing. There were names, and places for numbers, so I put numbers in. I'll read it at some point. Aleister 2:19 12-4-'11

You're awesome, man. 1234 ~ 02:21, 12 April 2011

Is Miro Mimo nommed yet? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:23, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

The Manny

Thanks for the nom, as always. Spıke ¬ 00:47 14-Apr-11

If I nommed you I must have been sleepwalking. Or sleeptyping. Yeah, that's it. Sleeptyping. Ummmmm, Ambien. Al zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz zzzzzzzz

I'll accept it however it happened. Spıke ¬ 01:17 14-Apr-11

Psychedelic music

Thanks for your Psychedelic vote from Sog & Funnybony

--Funnybony    20:43, Apr 14

Please see THIS

I think it is ready to Nom now with the new opening lines to explain what it is. If you like it, please fire away! Y/bro--Funnybony    21:54, Apr 15

What is with the bleepin' boldfaced captions?

I can't help noticing that you insist on coding thumbnails with boldfaced captions:

[[File:...|thumb|right|'''caption''']

I won't do this and you ought not to do it.

If you really want to see captions in bold--your own and everyone else's--add to the style sheet on your PC the following rule:

DIV.thumbcaption { font-weight: bold !important }

Or, if you can convince the Cabal, change the Uncyclopedia style sheet and everyone will see everyone's captions the same, and I don't care what you decide. I understand that styles are going to vary among pages, but rendering of captions should not be one of them. We don't need special coding on every illustration that does nothing but say, "Aleister was here." Spıke ¬ 12:55 16-Apr-11

Socky was here. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:05, 16 April 2011

Well SPIKE, to be fair, he's not the only one who does it. I do it, and I've seen lot of others do it too. Why do I do it? Because it looks pretty, because I like it, and I because can (also, now that I know it bothers you, that's just another reason to do it). -- 14:05, April 16, 2011 (UTC)

Aleister was here. 1234 ~ 16:42, 16 April 2011

Aleister is near. Hello Spike, good to hear from you. As I've said before, most pics drown out the regularly shaded captions. Colours drown out the light black of the print, and even black in a pic drowns out the print. Bolded captions, which are the norm in many magazines for the same reason, can be easily read when contrasted with the colours of the pics. A caption also should be a very intergral part of a page, at least in my way of thinking, and should fill in much of the story. Haven't you noticed I don't do it in UnNews articles, although I would like to, mainly because of your style preference and I do consider you mostly in charge there (except when you're not). And I do it for the same reason as Magic man, except the bothering of you, which is a side-benefit (kidding on that last part. I wish you weren't bothered by anything, which would be nice. I'm bothered by some stuff here, like the stupidness shown in articles on Scientology and Ron Hubbard, but since I am biased in Hubbard's favor I refrain from editing any of them). Geese. Aleister 22:35 16-4-'11

Welcome back and thanks for your courteous reply. I am not arguing with your style preferences. But please make your case to the right people, perhaps in the Forum, and get all the captions changed--even in UnNews--rather than going your own way and mandating the use of boldfacing in your (and Magic Man's) articles only. Spıke ¬ 22:46 16-Apr-11

Nah, that would be too much conformity. To each's their owns is what I always says. And I haven't done an UnNews in a week or so, maybe time to get back to one of my user page stubs and work on it. Or a new one, I dunno. If I did potatochopping (and oh, fuck, I better go judge that contest thing, just remembered it) I'd do an article about Obama's birth certificate coming into the open at a press conference and biting him in the ass somehow. Anywhos, thanks for the thanks for my profound courtesy and politeness, which is my middle name Aleister politeness O'Grady 22:55 16-4-'11

The Boy Who Chose the Girl Over the Sun

Well.... I think you can make it in to something better, but that's gonna take a lot of work. I wish you luck in this endeavor. And who in their right mind would choose a girl even over bubonic plague? Good day, m'boy.--Respond 15:05, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

I actually think it's pretty cute now. Simple isn't bad (and I am very simple in real life, which is why I live among the simple-minded). In their right mind? You may be looking for wikipedia, which is down the block and up the alley there. You can knock on the back door and someone will let you in, but bring references and cash. I'll be back. Al, few moments later, must run like some wind.

You've done well, as always, but those hippie reference hogs at Wikipedia surely can't be in their right minds either.--Respond 15:22, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry they huffed it without userspacing it... If you still want to work on it, we might be able to convince somebody to resurrect it to your userspace or mine. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 09:44, April 18, 2011 (UTC)

I bet what happened is that people who voted nay didn't come back to look at it or read the comments. That's the main hole in VFD, I think, is that when something is improved it still has the nay votes hanging on it. I'll ask for user space from the huffer, but it seemed fine as is to me, and I don't know what uncy has in place to bring a page back. Thanks for the heads down. Aleister minutes later

How long, how long how long how long?...

...does it take to get to edit the Recent Articles page? Is the block because of my noobity or noobdom? I have written Doppelwanker and I really think people ought to read it RITE NOW!!! --Ed Refugee 05:54, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hello Mr. Ed. I have added the page onto recent changes for you. I think you have to be here for a year before you can edit it, trust must be earned by pounding the flesh. Al 9:58 19-4-'11

Oh yeah... pounding... thanks. --Ed Refugee 16:14, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Or a few days, one or not the other, I dunno. Probably a few days. Aleister later that same day.

Reply by NoNamesLeft

Hello Aleister thanks for the meet and greet. I'm really enjoying Uncyclopedia and as you can tell find it quite addictive - it gives me a chance to be creative in ways my daily "regular" life just doesn't. As far as topics I like, well, anything involving the law, lawyers, Judge Dredd, Mexico, Europe, history, and stale pop culture references and icons, with a twist of the ironic and the random. I also enjoy feeling like I'm doing something useful (because other people may someday see it) when I clean up articles that other people wrote, or add pictures to them. Again, thanks for the welcome! --NoNamesLeft 00:06, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Nice interests. It'll be nice to see your finished pages, and clean up and pics is something I enjoy doing at times too. Have you found our special pages, Unused files, for pics? Other ways of finding pics too, aside from categories. Enjoy. Aleister 00:14 4-20

Alister, aleister, ali-ali-leister, ali-ali-leister, dont wanna dance alilesiter!

Duder, if you have a chance could you maybe do your humour majic on this , and touch up the jokes??? Cheeeeeeeeeeeeers Ali ali ali!!! --ShabiDOO 01:13, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

'lo. Thanks for thinkins of me. My time is tight tonight, so I'll read it carefully to-mor-row. The Canadian election is a major thing though, and I like how you pointed out the Queen Elizabeth has the biggest say in Canada's politics. 17th century stuff. Al 1:17 4-20

Im gonna morph it into an UnBook, might take a day, Ill let you know when its reaaaaady ;) thanks anyways. As for the Queen, she doesnt really do anything but pretty hot babe though no ;) !?!?! jajaja --ShabiDOO 11:39, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Congrats & prediction

Al, bro! Great, you passed the big four zero. I predict you'll pass 60 before next year, just in time for the apocalypse, NOT! Hey, jump in there on Guru Maharaj Ji and improve it. Although he was totally philosophically vague no one knew what the heck he was talking about - but they thought they did. Bottom line, he comes from an off-shoot of Radhasoami sect in Punjab-U.P., India, but he has ditched all that by now. He was a Hippie Phenom. The sixties generation never looked more stupid than that. But lets make it a good page. And you keep pumping out those Features and maybe my prediction will come true (no apocalypse, I mean). Cheers!--Funnybony    10:52, Apr 20

Tanks and bazookas, Funnybony. 60 is the new 59, as Al Gore said, and I'm not planning on that, so your prediction may be wrong. You are a good predictor, though. Gee, Ji! Pretty little Ji Ji. I'll look at the page, but I like the guy, so it'll be hard for me to give him a hard knock. Thanks again for the congrats. Al 16:17 21-4-'11

The Big Four-Oh

In keeping with tradition, you should make a forum topic celebrating your achievement. I hope to hit the 40 mark myself this summer after I'm done writing nothing but college papers and opinionated CD reviews for my university's newspaper. Anyway, congratulations. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:57, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, appreciate your cent and mints. A good idea, only so I can make one when you pass the 40 line (and you should put your college papers to double use by making them into uncy articles too!). Sog's eyeing of 60 and not too far from 70 makes 40 look less like 50 but more like 10 even though 10 looks like 20 to me. Hut. Go out for a long pass. Thanks again. Al 16:21 21-4-'11

p.s. I've posted the forum, and look forward to putting one up for you soon.

No problem Al, you earned and very much deserve that celebration forum. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:25, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

Heaven's key hole

Next comet on 46 June! Reserve your place!

Just wanted to say I answered on my talk page, I know you're well busy, but I really want to hear you more on the topic. I was captivated by your story. My article's evolution is coming along fine, and I think you influenced me to make small corrections so they don't sound utterly retarded, while still being funny. I made some lulzy improvements as well. Answer me here or on my talk page whenever you have time, but don't forget to go see my answer to you on my TP. Or just frigging ignore me! Mattsnow (talk) 23:56, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

HOLY CRAP! The History of Great Britain article is a friggin book! Quite funny stuff. Mattsnow (talk) 15:22, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

I haven't taken the time to read it. And thank Romartus and Zarbag for the page, which I call The Epic. He owes me one less footnote however, thanks for pointing me to look at it again. Al one of these days

I am thanking you for the appreciated for, I appreciate the appreciation from such appreciated writers like KillerFroggy and you. Being featured is not the goal, though it would be nice. My reward is all the laughs I had while writing the article, along with that morbid fascination (human nature I guess) on researching on them. I just happened to find out you have a list of featured articles that is incredible! When did you enroll here?!?! Mattsnow 03:46, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Almost missed this note way up here. And you're welcome, it is a very good article and would be a fine feature addition to our growing collection of features. There are over 1,700 of them, and collectively really encompass a very good body of work for one website. I only have a smathering of that number, but thanks for the mention. I became an honorable member of uncy on October 28, 2009, just in time for our annual Halloween party (we all dress as things and dance naked around fires and such hoopla). And I literally have no memory of how I found the site or decided to join it. Maybe one of those alien abduction, hypnosis, prodding with sticks cases, I have no idea why I'm here aside from seeing if my fiction gene was still operating. Aleister 9:21 28-4-'11

LOL Well it's great you're here. Don't forget takeoff: 46 July. Bring some new Nikes :D Mattsnow 22:10, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Whoops

I've been on a quasi-vacation, so I was unaware that People Who Like to Fuck Naked was up for a vote until after it was already feature. Oh well. Congrats! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 19:56, Apr. 23, 2011

Alexa rankings

I think starting a forum to throw in ideas to increase traffic is a great idea. Let me know if you start one. BTW, what is the source of revenue of this place besides donations? Is it related to Wikipedia? I would not want the site to close in our faces! :P Mattsnow 12:02, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

User:Mattsnow/Heaven's Gate is ready for mainspace! The problem is I don't know how to do it while deleting the version on my userspace :S Could you tell me how to do it? Mattsnow 13:53, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Easy as pi. Just copy the page onto your mouse, then search for "Heaven's Gate" in the search bar. When it says "no says article exists", it will also offer you a choice of creating the page. Sure, create it, and when the space opens up just paste your story into it, save it, and whoooola, Heaven's Gate rides again. The forum is a good idea, although the best way of increasing people seeing the site is by media promotion. The site is hosted by wikia, and you can ask admins to explain that to you too as I usually get it wrong in my rants against ads. The only wikipedia connection I know of is that Jimbo Wales own a piece of the site, although I'm not really clear on who "owns" it, or is "hosting" it. I look forward to reading Heaven's Gate in coming-up-to-final form. Aleister 15:05 25-4-'11

Will do thanks! Heaven's Gate coming to life Mattsnow 15:27, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

HowTo:Get Featured on YouTube

You've always helped me with ideas. I need your help again. This is an idea set for a feature, and not just on YouTube. We'll both work on it together. Come up with some ideas while I think of some new ones. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:21, 28 April 2011

I can't tonight, almost set to sign off after writing up an UnNews article. I'll take a look at the page on the 'morrow, and will check out your edits then. The title has promise, for sur', and I'll mull it over in my dreams. Aleister 1:24 28-4-'11

I'll see if I can bring in Kevillips and Frosty in on the article. And maybe even Mattsnow. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:28, 28 April 2011

A gang-bang! Great, it's fun when lots of people collab on a page and do it well. Could be a fun one. Twanks for the invite. Al few minutes later

Be there tomorrow. My birthday's coming up this Monday. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:35, 28 April 2011

LOL!!! I just happened to leave a message on Aleister page, scrolled down because I saw a Lollipop post and catch the "maybe even Mattsnow" line! Lollipop, don't be afraid to ask me for help my friend. Mattsnow 03:52, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

It is a bit like saying: "Aww, if I am REALLY stuck, maybe I'll ask for help from that hobo down the street." LMAO, I have a lot of freetime here in James Bay, Quebec (All hail the Motherland), so ask me! Mattsnow 04:51, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

@ your advice...

Thanks for trying to help, but as you probably know, I can't add my allegedly "stolen" suggestion to the Did you know? because it is locked. Maybe you can help add it?

I don't know who you are, what you are refering to, what page you are trying to edit, and what suggestion you stole. It all sounds very intriguing, so please clarify. Your long lost brother, Aleister 9:14 28-4-'11

Your early comments

Your early comments on VFD regarding my 5 year old stubs, gave me the encouragement to continue to contribute to Uncyclopedia. That meant a lot to me then, but especially now, considering how much I am enjoying myself. Your words, be they even sarcastic or ironic, made a difference in my happiness today. For that, I give you my fresh minted Goldgluden --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:03, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thank you, this is just about the nicest thing said to me here. Appreciated. And your participation here is obviously worth a lot to the community, so Yay! Thanks again. Aleister 00:11 Kate and Billy's Wedding Day

...and really I am not trying to vapor lock on your sphincter or anything, but I read the HowTo:scare small children article and thought booth johnson was someone that was not you, so I was going to give him a Goldgluden but then I realized it was you and you already had one, so in a fit of silliness, I am giving you the uʍop ǝpısdn / Upside down award, made up just this minute. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:10, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

If I could write upside down I'd say thanks, and it would look something like sknaht only rolly-polly around about. Sophia herself, looking at me from below, is a pleasant thought indeed. And reminds me I should go over that page once more with a fine-tweek comb. Thanks.Aleister 21:26 30-4-'11

PICTURE STUFF

theres an picture competition in the making, its here and Im looking for people to nominate chopped and unchopped Photos from 2010. Could you please think of a nice picture from somewhere in 2010 and nooooominate!? Like seriously? Like for real. Like for cereal? Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers. --ShabiDOO 01:46, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

Catholic stuff

Hey, if you can get the evidence together, we do have UN:BP you know. I'd do it myself but you seem a bit more familiar with what the user's doin'. Just plop his name with enough links on BP and I'm sure he'll be... (puts on sunglasses) saying his prayers soon enough.

...beat...

...beat...

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:57 May 06, 2011

The only real vandalism he did was changing a good photo for something totally unrelated, but he is dumbing down some Catholic pages which I'm happy to revert and improve. So no problem so far. Thanks tho. Aleiser 18:30 6-5-'11

Whong!

Encyclopedia Dramatica is dead... long live Uncyclopedia! --84.13.106.65 19:26, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, OK. Yay? Aleister 19:40 sixto de mayo

Two questions

1. why are people so excited?
2. why are people so wrong

--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:10, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Don't ask me. I never paid much attention to it, and only looked at it once. This IP seems happy though, so, yay!? Aleister minutes later Sixto de Mayo '11

-corny smile-

Sorry, I'm used to posting on talk pages like that; don't launch a nuke. Jeez... --Gamma287 ☭Tetяis? 21:45, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, OK, no nuke. And, (scoofs at ground, kicks dirt around), ah, what are we talking about? Al later, not that day, but a little bit into the next day

Never mind. I need to start cleaning up radioactive fallout now... Gamma287 ☭Tetяis? 16:22, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Bohemian Grove

is now ready for consumption, O Mortal One! Mattsnow 09:59, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

I shall read your shameful article, which tosses maggots onto a great painting and calls it art. But later, when it can be savored and the page can be blanked. Aleister now, whatever time you want to call it

I just put a subliminal message at the bottom of the article! Think you can find it? Mattsnow 13:07, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

HowTo:Fuck

Chains, Flamingo here. When do we begin teaching the world the art of genital on genital stimulation? I don't think I can suppress the urge to spread the word (among other things) any longer. --Black Flamingo 13:20, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm. I'd forgotten about it. I'll get right on the project, later today, if not tomorrow. Thanks for the reminder. Al 20:21 7-5

Stupid Cats

Ali, I would be so super happy if you could take a look at super cats and give me comments or even do the pee review :) :) :) like, super happy --ShabiDOO 11:42, May 8, 2011 (UTC)

Super cats? Where do they gather? I can't look now, and will do so later (this is what I always say, and usually someone will just move on to other things and forget I said it), about the same time I do the task just above this one. As for pee review, I've done one and that failed miserably, so commenting seems easier for me. Please tell me where to find "Super Cats" though. Thanks. Aleister 12:14 8-5-'11

Stupid Cats in all its glory. This is a TOP 1A priority. Ive blocked your account from doing anything else (looking at this page, and commenting here on it). ;) ;) ;) --ShabiDOO 13:10, May 8, 2011 (UTC)

as socky would say, NomNomNomNomNom. You had me at the first picture. I don't know what your page has to do with Britny Spears, so that confused me, but besides that it's very good. You may want to ask Socky and Lythmeria or however you spell it to go over the page, they are both very good at finding errors and grammar and things you don't think about until they shove it in your face. Very good page, and thank you for pointing it out to me so incesstently. Aleister 16:19 same day

Me and Shabidoo make a good team. We both put our energy into it. I made concepts and he expanded them. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:36, 8 May 2011

Are you saying that you held each others paws to the fire. Al minute after that one

Not only that, but we got a ball of yarn and stared at it for 5 minutes. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:46, 8 May 2011

Okay thanks Ali. Yes, it was a colabortation with Lolipop. He started the whole page, came up with a lot of funny ideas and I added a concept (somewhat) and added the narrative. It worked out well from that point of view. He also capitalised the sentences I left in lower case on purpose. Oh that LOLI!!! But ehm...Ali...ideas? Suggestions!?!?! :) :) :) --ShabiDOO 22:03, May 9, 2011 (UTC)

Lollipop has two l's. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:23, 9 May 2011

Any suggestions ALI!?!?! --ShabiDOO 00:05, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

Is Stupid Cats the present version, or have you userspaced it somewhere? Al few minutes later

Yes it is Ali. Theres no userspace one...cause this article rocks anyways. Well...it will rock hahahah!!! --ShabiDOO 00:23, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

Would you mind if I did a little more proffing, and maybe add a few things? If you don't, thanks, and it will have to be tomorrow...or the next day...or the next. Meow. Aleister 00:35 thirteenth de Mayo '11

Shocking to say, but had I not asked for help, it wouldn't be here today. I bet RDB would of huffed it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:07, 13 May 2011

Ah, RDB, the scurge of the 92 vandal, and vica versa. Aleister soon after that last

PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE !!!!!! --ShabiDOO 01:27, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

I've made haste with some of the article, and edited the rest Hope this helps. I really like some of the jokes on the page, and the overall tone, and how you created a private universe where stupid cats sit there and try to eat the air. Stuipid Aleister after editing

To the ghost who posted here

I read a ghost's message before huffing came. Just keep on writing and improving, spirit, no matter what. You have tenacity, and you want to be a good writer. So keep it up. I don't mean here, maybe someday when you're older and really will behave (decades away?), but thanks for the best wishes. Al I wasn't here either.

So, uh...

Do you like tacos? Fish tacos. Fish tacos with squid on them. 1234 ~ 02:07, 13 May 2011

Only when the fish and squid roam free, and people take a taco shell and swim towards them, unsuccessfully trying to capture them within the taco shell. This makes me laugh for hours and hours, and then I swim to shore and shape the sand into things. Al 11:00 13-5-'11

But hey, hey hey, you...Lyrith!!! Much more importantly, do you like Fishy mexican food? Are you into cod burritos with cured trout ontop!?!?! --ShabiDOO 13:30, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

What... sorts of things? 1234 ~ 17:26, 13 May 2011

Sand dogs and sand castles and sand windows and sand towers. Lots of sand to work with, on a beach, and if something doesn't look right you just wait for the waves. Have you read Ray Bradbury's "Picasso Summer", or seen the short movie? Sand. Al 22:11 that day

Yeah I read the sand everyday. Round here it usually just says "help" in three-foot letters. Funny that. --Black Flamingo 00:55, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

Ain't never. All I know of sand is blank... blank sands, mon. How does sand go blank? Especially if the letter are three feet tall; blanking that would take doing. o_O 1234 ~ 00:57, 14 May 2011

And I would rollback your sandy edits immediately after. --Black Flamingo 01:00, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

I'll sand down your rollbacks. 1234 ~ 01:08, 14 May 2011

Edits and suggestions

Thanks a lot ali ali ali! VERY nice touches!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 15:13, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

You're very welcome, and thanks for the caps and all those pointy things at the end. Aleister 22:08 13-5-'11

User:Lollipop/The Admins and the Users: A Two Part Musical

Read this muscial so far. You'll like it. Add some ideas to it if you want. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:51, 14 May 2011

I was just dropping by

and yeah, you should read that article by Lollipop. It is developping nicely, great concept. However, the purpose of my visit was something else: I nominated another article (Well you know). I have to say I am kind of ashamed when I jumped the gun for the article I nominated that didn't make it. "It's a conspiracy!" I'm a lot more relaxed about this one. I don't take for granted that people will like it as much as Heaven's Gate. I really didn't know how the site works. I read some great article that I voted for and didn't make it on VFH (Muammar Gaddafi is an example, although it is still alive, don't ask me how that works!) Can't wait to read more of your articles. Dennis Kucinich's wife Mattsnow 23:26, May 15, 2011 (UTC) PS YOU LEFT YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AT HOME!

Hey

Hey, if you're there, can you help me with something? Can you tell me how [[1]] is? Like feedback and shit..--PoopManPoop 20:13, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Hi, and sure. There's nothing there! You gave me a bad link, but I see what it is from the edit box here, and will look on UnNews. Al minutes later

OK, I read it, and to your credit, you wrote something. Ok, you can stop reading now, skip this next part....For the love of God, everyone contact SPIKE and beg him to come back, he'd of had this page back on PoopManPoop's user page faster than a fly can swim, and give him all kinds of advice...and now take it up again. A little too random, lots of swearing, and way outside of our quality up on UnNews up until a couple of weeks ago. I'd suggest you move it back to userspace, but then again, I don't want to take up the yoke of UnNews chief, so, ya, keep working and polishing it for a few hours. Aleister back again, now leaving through a side entrance

Uh ok. and yeah, i don't know how to put links too. like you said bad link. even when i put it into word or yahoo messenger or something, it doesnt click open to the same page, it says instead that this page doesnt exist. And yeah its random, i couldn't come up with any idea of a title so i just opened up this bitch and started typing whatever. How sure are you that it will be deleted in a coupla days or something?--PoopManPoop 20:28, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Depends if it's enough to bring Spike back. There, you linked bitch to computer fine. Ah, I see what you did, you added an extra underscore to the link on your first post, and you don't need all those http's and stuff, just like you did with "Bitch" links it. And I don't mean to be hard on your story, it just reminds me of how much we need SPIKE to come and give tutorials and things like he used to do. SPIKE was banned for a week for being a dick, which he is but nobody cared really, and then hasn't come back (as far as I know). Thanks for being patient with me, a poor Hindu man on the streets of Calcutta. Al spare rupee?

Oh yeah? SPIKE eh..THE SPIKE eh..I am pretty much the same, though not in Calcutta, never in Calcutta *shaking his head*.--PoopManPoop 21:10, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

New Delhi. Are you an admin or something? --PoopManPoop 21:25, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Nah, if I were an admin the vandals would have all the secret codes and double-knots. I once had a feature with a vandal, a proud moment to relive over and over in my dreams. Have you met SPIKE? If not, maybe drop by his talk page, if an admin would let you in, and say hi and ask him to have a look at your story and give some criticism or ideas. It might just be enough to shake him out of his shake. Would you like me to do an edit sweep of a few sentences of your story? I can't write reviews worth a damn because it's hard for me to criticize, but I can edit a few sentences and you can see if you like the difference or if it's not your style (we all have different styles, which is most fun when a collab works well, like in Skinfan's frat). Aleister 00:12 18-t-'fg

Yeah you can.. but I am making some changes in the article. Will give you the heads up. And stop being lazy and go review it in the pee review, after I have done my edits, of course. Thanks..And i will drop in at SPIKE's, not maybe to get a review, but to say hi.--PoopManPoop 13:12, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

When SPIKE was at his height of news editing and taking care of the news page back in the golden age of UnNews (two weeks ago) he wouldn't as much review as yell at you all the things needed to be done. Like a gruff news editor with a heart of gold (I know he has a heart of gold, it took me upwards of ten minutes to carve the slick sucker out of him). Aleister later that day

Democracy is not permanent

Ali ali ali...when you have a chance....check this out. I don't really want any editing help, cause its pure narrative and my own evocative writing. If you can though, any ideas, advice etc... would be very much appreciated. I do like this article a fair bit, and its quite timely for the site. --ShabiDOO 06:03, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Pope John Paul II wins 'Monsignor Universe' beauty contest

Al, bro! I'm home at last. Hey, this is one of my all time BEST UnNews but it got totally overlooked because of the bin Laden feeding-frenzy. If you (or anyone) agrees with this please kindly Nom it on VFH. I think it's hysterical. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:00, May 18

Some parts of it are a little unclear. Jet lag, probably. It has a great idea and core, and just needs some trimming or adding to really make the ideas clear. Al later

You helped develop the anti-death drug!

UnNews:Old people more likely to die, study shows made it into queue, and now old people will never have to die again! Thanks for your vote, man!

-- 16:13, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

Glug glug glug. Ah, it tastes like peppermint. Aleister then and now

I sure hope not, there's a very rare side affect that if it tastes like peppermint you'll be dead in forty-eight hours... Nice knowing ya, bud! -- 00:59, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

I knew that, and was kidding just to see if you knew. I won't tell you what it really tastes like, but I do know that there is a poison spider now walking somewhere in your house, and I really hope you find it before it finds you. Hint: Look at the things that look like rags but seem to be moving. Aleister ha hahahah heeheeheeh heeheehahahaahah huh?

..

So what happeed to him? Why the hell did he get banned? BTW I redid the article you can check it out--PoopManPoop 21:46, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

He was banned for being a dick. No news to anybody here though, that he's a dick, but a competent dick so most people didn't care. Like your grumpy uncle who has his arms crossed all the time, but can beat your ass in all your video games and ups your game in the process. Aleister don't ask me, I know nothing, nothing. Well, maybe some stuff.

• And the plot thickens. The new guy is taking interest, too much interest. WIIFM? Stay tuned for the latest updates on SPIKE spiked*--PoopManPoop 09:50, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Grammar question

I know it's ridiculous, but after searching on Google and online dictionaries, I'm still lost: is it young girls' blood or young girls blood? Alex Jones' documentary or Alex Jones documentary? If you have a website better than Reverso or Wordreference that would be cool! (Remember, I'm a French-Canadian) Thank you in advance Aleister, I know who I can count on her! (YOU) Mattsnow 03:24, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

HA! You make large joke. I'm the last person on the site to come to with that question, as I don't know. I'd guess young girls blood, but that's where I always put my money. The Alex Jones one, your guess is as good as mine. I think Socky or Romartus would know the answer, they seem to study grammar. Not me, I'm lucky if the commas show up, in the right place. Aleister that evening, a few minutes removed from the last post

OK LOL Mattsnow 03:43, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

All my senses revert me back to an English class I definitely attended somewhere in my nappy-shitting days, thats its little girls' blood and Alex Jones' documentary, because apostrophes are mandatory when they are mandatory. And I distinctly remember asking her how can an Apostrophe be outside the word. For which she couln't give any closure-giving answer. But bah! What do I know I am new. --PoopManPoop 09:56, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Not only hot, red-headed, but smart too!

Mattsnow 07:28, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

User:Lollipop/The Admins and the Users: A Two Part Musical: Must Read

Have you looked at this yet? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:37, 21 May 2011

Over and answered on your talk page. Aleister 00:59 22-5-'11

As the rapture was wrong (again), how about helping me on this. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:33, 22 May 2011

UnNews:Mobster enters weak GOP field

I like it. However, there are several grammar issues that I didn't correct because I didn't want to mess up the voice you've got going in the story. Like "snarkily optimism," "seemingly a mid-level" ("a seemingly mid-level"?), and "questions which are gooing."

Also, would you mind not altering the UnNews templates to include your own work? While I agree that this one should go in the main page box, and the UnNews front page, for that matter, if I let you do it, I have to let the next user do it, and with my luck the next story that benefits from this will be Herman Cain awful and I don't work with a double standard. ~  Talk 23:53, 23 May 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for spotting the spelling mistake on "gooing". "Snarkily optimism" is an interesting phrase, which was why it was used, and "seemingly mid-level" is correct because nobody in the press knows what Johnny's status really is within the mob. On the template stuff, I only put my pages on there if I feel they're good enough to go. Didn't know you were the new gatekeeper, but you're as good as we can get if you've taken the job, congrats and thanks for doing it. I really wonder where SPIKE has gone, and if he wants to come back. Glad you liked the story, and I'll run the next ones past you before putting it on the list, if you're around. Thanks for all the heads ups. Aleister 2:46 24-5-'11

Your concerns

I have been watching Recent Changes and I've seen that you seem perturbed by the current state of UnNews, and I'd really like to try to set your mind at ease. See, I feel like I'm pretty much entirely to blame for this fiasco that you seem to perceive because I coined the term "UnNews czar." It was, in hindsight, an incredibly unwise move, because naturally the word czar conjures up images of Rasputin and totalitarian rule and iron-fisted dictatorship. The word "committee" which some have proposed is not much better, especially since it is inextricably connected to "czar." That conjures up images of the Party from 1984. Neither of these situations is even remotely what I intended when I made my initial Dump proposal.

See, my thinking was that we always had someone (namely, Zim_ulator or SPIKE) who acted as sort of an unofficial steward for UnNews. That person watched UnNews more carefully than your average bear and made sure nothing of inexcusably terrible quality got through. That person also tried to make sure that UnNews was never plagiarized (and it did happen once, many moons ago), that every story served some sort of satirical purpose (even if it was just to be patent absurdity dolled up as news), and that people that didn't exactly know what they were doing could learn. My thinking was that, with SPIKE sitting things out for a little while, there might be some question as to who was going to fill that role. I wanted to officialize this stewardship role that has always existed and made UnNews the high quality project it always has been. Since then, TheHumbucker has been trying to show that he's very much NOT a czar, and that he refuses that title. Lollipop simply erred when addressing him as such...and for that I take full responsibility.

Meanwhile, I've been discussing this with some people on IRC, and Kevillips came up with a fantastic analogy. TheHumbucker (or anybody) is not a "czar," he is simply "Groundskeeper Willie." Hopefully this calms your nerves a bit. Let me know if you have anymore concerns, or come onto IRC and hug it out with everyone.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 04:09, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

Hi, and thanks for the nice letter, like a letter from home while at camp. My concern and overblown language comes from missing SPIKE, and seeing what happened to him as unfair (a few hour ban could have surficed, and I was surprised no other admin stepped in with a cooler head and overturned a week ban). SPIKE is just SPIKE, everyone knows his style, but I do blame him now for being his usual dick-self and not saying a word the past few weeks. On top of that, I just learned of the new arrangement from THB's note, and then the committee thing, because I hadn't read the forum in a few days. So I overreacted a bit. Again, missing SPIKE, who I feel did such a great job for a long time and was treated like a noob. But I really have little concerns about any change, we have great users here, including THB, just as long as he "accepts" strange articles and off-the-wall submissions as equally as legit unnews items (SPIKE was driven crazy by some great pages, some of which went on VFH, and some that actually became features! He was overruled by Mordillo and others on these occasions). As for IRC, nah, never used it, never will, I think things are better talked out in the open. From what I heard IRC can be addictive, and I don't have the veins left for another heavy habit, man, the heroin has it's hold on me and won't let any other suitors in. Aleister almost half an hour later

Is "heroin" street for Uncyclopedia?~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 04:27, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

I can't waste time shooting it so I just stuff it up my nose, man. - Aleister

Been away on a trip. I thought you meant I spelled heroin wrong, so I went to look it up, and read over wikipedia's drug page without finding heroin listed. But it opens with two hilarious photos of drugs, a coffee cup and a glass of wine which looks like it's been tipped over on its side. But no, of course I meant heroin, and I use it as do most of the users on the site. Haven't they hooked you on it yet? You have been gone a long time. Whenever you see the letters "lol" anywhere on the site that's the code name for heroin. The white horse. The riderless pony. White skag. Snow angels. Snowball. Snowmobile. The Kentucky Derby. The triple-crown. Lol. All nicknames for the lightning, man, and people like Mordillo rode it too fast, man, and look at where he ended up. Do you have any money for me, I'm gonna start jonesing soon, and need the fix. SPIKE used to send me money. Where'd he go, man, where'd he go with my money? And where'd you think the name SPIKE came from (i.e. needles). You gotta SPIKEload for me, man? Sincerely, and with best regards, Aleister 4:46 24-5-'11

I did some peeing

Link to review here!--User:CandidToaster/sig 05:17, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

:D

I cannot thank you enough for voting for the article mate. :D *tear in his eye*. Thanks--PoopManPoop 12:06, May 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hi there buddy ol' pal ol' friend ol' er... acquaintance ol'... uh... person... or something...

How are you? I'm doing good, but one of my articles isn't. What I mean is, one of my articles is on VFH, but it's not looking too good. Maybe you could go take a look and see what you think? I'll give you a blowjob But only vote for if you really like it. Thank you, and good day. -- 01:05, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Yikes. Your page seems to be tied with a ribbon and is about to be sunk at sea. Apparantly it needs some work, but that's how it sometimes goes. I've done a little work on one of my pages you probably haven't heard of, "Skunk", but will do more before putting it up on VFH again. Sometimes it takes a couple of good tries and lots of edits before it can join the 1,700 plus feature parade. Damn, I hope everyone realizes what a treasure trove of great writing those pages are, the site has added value minute-by-minute for over six years now! Yay! Al minutes later

uh yeah, I read the article too and it's funny but, as you like to put it sometimes, the overall humor. Don't look at me like I am new i am 8 days old. Hmph.-- -> That's Poop Man Poop 04:24, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Collab

Just had a look at Special:WantedPages. How about Boyfriend? I knew a boy once, should be a breeze. --Black Flamingo 12:03, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Sli you said you would collaborate with me 3 months ago :( :( :( --ShabiDOO 13:51, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

The ΥΣΣ collabs

I'd like to help with them. Can I? Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze? -- 19:49, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

No. Well, maybe. Sure. We haven't even started yet though, although Black Flamingo has a premise outlined for "Boyfriend". You are the air beneath my wings. Aleister I'm not here

*Whoosh* (Air sounds) -- 20:14, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

God of War III on The pedophle song?

Is there really a scenc like that in God of War III?

I dunno. Ask the author of the page. You can find his/her name by going to the article and looking at the history, see who wrote it. Make sure the name your looking at is the main author, as other users edit a page or add templates and things too. Thanks for being inquisitive and knowing your way around the site a bit. Cool. Aleister few minutes later

Oh it's real. I think there is a sex minigame in all three.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 14:28, May 30, 2011 (UTC)

Sincere thanks for supporting one or more of these articles on VFH:

• Guru Maharaj Ji
• Don Martin
• Blue-ringed octopus
• Lunar Launch (with Socky)
• 2012 (with MrN)

like, really!--Funnybony    20:14, May 29 20:14, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

Your logo-replacement images...

Are blocking the tabs. >.< 1234 ~ 07:22, 30 May 2011

On my machine the pics are behind the tabs, and the tabs shine through. And as I look at the logo as I go through the site I realize it's going to be much less colourful with the "new" blah variations. Why are we going to blaher down the site? Aleister Sunday sometime

Some of the tabs show up. Some. Not all, namely the one I was trying to use. And it covers the community links... you could use smaller images, you know. As for the blah... blah is... well... it's not blah, just realistic. More so. Potatos aren't orange or even yellow; even the 'gold' ones are only a slightly brighter shade of brown... ghah, and orange and blue is a terrible combination. 1234 ~ 17:33, 30 May 2011

Yeah, so why use a potato? Are we married to the potato? If it hurts the colour on the page then it hurts the site, it blahs the site down. Just the opposite of what I would think we'd want. So why not just call it an egg, and say that the egg has been pecked open and the creative bird inside is now released (the article is written, the article which has been incubating). Why not call it an egg and leave it orangey. Think of the children! Aleister 18:12 30-5-'11

Inciclopedia uses an egg. I think they call it an egg, too. The potato. They have eggs elsewhere, I mean. But eggs aren't orange on the outside, either, generally. Not so bright of orange, anyhow. 1234 ~ 18:30, 30 May 2011

Never heard of that one, Inciclopedia. Learn something new twice a day. Well, then why can't ours be something else, but a something that has colour. And not another root tublar. Something from a tree. Don't tree things fall down and crack open. Maybe a melon of some kind. A mushmelon, but aren't those white? It's a never ending spiral downward to blah. Aleister 18:36 30-5-'11

p.s. Why not just a pumpkin? A pumpkin that has fallen and the stem has cracked off and is gone. If we call it a pumpkin we get the whole Halloween crowd without having to change anything, and probably most writers are Halloween people anyway.

We had a pumpkin, though... really. 1234 ~ 19:11, 30 May 2011

What do you mean had, I still use it on a couple of my Halloween pages. It's still there. Why don't we just use it as our official logo? Aleister 19:16 same day

We're killing Sophia? Why? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:09, 30 May 2011

The potato has a name? If so, do you think Sophia will want to become a bland version of herself, or reemerge as a pumpkin? I think not, either way, maybe. Al wherenow?

Yes, the potato has a name. Most Uncyclopedians know that. She was named in 2005. I have no absolute idea who named her. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:38, 30 May 2011

For knowledge: Sophia is so named both for wisdom and, more immediately, Sophia Loren. Also, this new logo looks a lot more professional, or at the very least, more like a parody of Wikipedia. Also also, if we changed to a pumpkin it would be weird precisely because it's a Halloween symbol. We aren't Halloweenpedia, are we?~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 20:46, May 30, 2011 (UTC)

I once read an external site that thought Sophia was an egg. They said "Uncyclopedia's logo is an egg". -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:26, 30 May 2011

Cool beans and news to me. I knew that Sophia Loren was one of our symbols, and that wisdom was mixed in there somewhere, but nobody ever told me that the potato's name was Sophia and symbolized those things. We're not Halloweenpedia? News to me (well, not really, and that would be nice). So I'd think any change in it should be for the better. Why not look at lots of potatoes and find the nicest looking colourful one, and try to duplicate that? Thanks for all the telling me things. Aleister 23:58 30-5-'11

Cool beans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 16:41, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Hi There

Thanks for the note. Its nice to see a site that is funny and articulate. One does not see that combination very often on the web. Take care! DaveFromMars 04:39, May 30, 2011 (UTC)

Whither Lollipop?

I've been thinking about this idea for a while. I don't know if it would be the right idea to do this. I decided to get an unhonest opinion. On February 19, 2011, I became Lollipop after decideing to abandon the account Maniac mcpee. Now, nearly June, i'm thinking if I should go back. I mean, as Puppy said to me before I became Lollipop: "As for the re-creation of yourself as another entity - it's probably a good idea. I'd like to see you mature somewhat as a writer as well - or failing that do a bit of work on potato-chopping, coding or reviewing, or even just general site maintenance." For POTR's words there, which can be seen here, I feel I have matured a bit as a writer (one article was nommed to VFH, didn't make it), I have become a better potatochopper (check out this, and that in terms of site maintenance I have become a rollback. But now i'm starting to feel that Lollipop is like some LSD trip that I had. And now i'm waking up as Maniac mcpee. I am not sure if this is a good idea and I need your opinion on it. Please help me on this. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:12, 31 May 2011

Do as your heart commands. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:13, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

LSD is not good for the heart. Especially LSD spiked lollipops. If I change back to Maniac mcpee, i'm going to sell the Lollipop Shop to another user. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:16, 31 May 2011

This is something I wouldn't give advice on, it's your name and account. I've changed names so many times here I don't know who I am. Some people call me Joey the Fish, others Sallywaggins. I liked it when I was Hump2Rats, and especially those few weeks I came back as TurtleLicker. But nobody can advise you either way without being a dick (my second name here was Dick), so good luck and we all like you, whoever you are. Willie TwoTone Jr. 4:40 31-5-'11

Trolls

Please don't let a troll scare you off the site. I for one, will miss your writing greatly. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:46, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, OK. Is that the troll? Did I miss something? And thanks for the compliment! /cocks shotgun, looks around for the troll Aleister 5:27 31-5-'11

I'm relieved to hear it's a false alarm, I noticed you left a message on someone else's userpage that you planned to leave. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:40, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, the thing on Dexter's talk page. I'm the one in the blue blazer, in the middle. And if you watch it you can see Zana Dark almost getting her first sip of champagne! Must sign off now, but I think I'll go watch that vid again just for the fun of seeing that second to last girl in line do a slow twirl (I've watched her do that a few times, very interesting move). Thanks. Al few minutes later

I've got a proposition

I know you've never been super big on doing Pee reviews, but I'll review your new piece on the Chicago Seven if you review one of my two articles currently on the queue (one is on a political group during the French Revolution, the other is an UnNews on Westboro B. C. that, as it stands now, sort of sucks, but I feel has potential--take your pick, I guess). Sort of a I-scratch-your-back, you-scratch-mine kind-of thing. Whadaya say? Eh? Eh?

Also, you and I should totally collaborate again. Just saying. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:02, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Fine, I'll try another pee review, as long as you put it in such nice extortionary language. But I really am bad at those, so we will see. Of course a collab would be great. I've got a few of those set go do to (the frat is doing two pages, and then that HowTo:Fuck page has to get going sometime). Just give an option of a few subjects and we'll wow the blank page to give up its ABC's. Pee review, grrrr. I'll go look at the pages. Aleister hundreds of thousands of miles away in space from where Guildy's note was written. We really travel a long ways very quickly.

Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it. As per our extortionary agreement, I'll get to reviewing your page as quickly as I can. Probably tomorrow morning/afternoon, actually, and if not then not too much later. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:40, June 1, 2011 (UTC)

??? You actually like it? Poor man, delusional. As for mine, if you do it don't feel rushed at all, if there is anything else interesting to do (i.e. mole watching) do that. Thanks for all the things. Aleister 00:42 1-6-'11

Because you're amazing

And stuff.

	Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2011

1234 ~ 02:44, 1 June 2011

Thank you! The guy on the gold thing looks like Oscar Wilde, but I have it on good information that it's really Mordillo. Aleister 13:12 1-6-'11

Hey hey!!!

Congrats on the Foolie. And thanks for the votes. I checked Dead Dick and it looks way better. The only complaint I got long ago was the excessive use of the term "dead dick" which bothered some people. Otherwise, should we wait for a Pee? Y/bro--Funnybony    06:40, Jun 2

Woah, ok I guess

Hey! Your message on my talk page kind of surprised me: didn't know anyone cpuld miss me XD I haven't been much around lately, it s true, but that is mostly because I've been hanging around on Memebase.com instead (also because my lousy grammar kinds of sap away my love of writting articles here <_<). Geez, I think I even left uncy while there was something going on with the layout... At least it is fixed now for me hehe ^^ --Drunkenshark 13:50, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

I'll answer on your talk page later, just a quick run through for now. Soon. Aleister 15:29 that day