Race car

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for race, or car? How about people on hard drugs going left and then left and then left oh my god just stop driving?

“Vroom!”

~ A race car, going "Vroom!"

That’s a race car. You can almost hear it going "Vroom!".

A race car is a type of fancy car that people buy when they want to show off their money or if they have a midlife crisis. They go very fast and make a vroom sound. Someday I will buy a race car. It will happen. What was I talking about?

Who likes them

Again, only middle-aged dads like race cars, and those bozos who live in Indiana. Race car is also a palindrome, but you probably didn’t care about that. Racing is a sport that involves race cars, and fatal accidents that the lawyers deny. The Indy 500 is a popular race that everyone pretends to like but really doesn’t.

Ah, yes, the joys of racing.

Origin

Race cars were invented in 420 in New New New Mexico when one guy wanted to go very very fast. He built the first one out of human skin, motor oil, olive oil, and gears. He achieved his goal and went very very fast. Obama would have personally congratulated this man, but Obama decided not to because Obama did not yet exist. The first time a race car was sold was 1912, when some guy said, I want some money! And he decided to make a race car based on old prototypes, and sold it for $π⁵.00, which may not make much sense, but this is Uncyclopedia. Get used to it.

The War on Racing
Date A time Location the racing track Result Someone broke their neck, like all racing
Belligerents
Person Total dead 0	Other person Total dead 1.1

Use in warfare

Race cars have been historically used to run people over at high speeds. They were first used against the Germans in WW2. That may sound brutal, but so is everything else in war. It continued to be used by Americans in the wars in the Middle East. Their usage was permitted by George W. Bush, who declared, “what the heck, I’m the president, let’s do something stupid!”.

The first race

Racing started when some people wanted to beat each other up, and they decided, “What if we could do that in CARS?” So they did! They bought a track in Antarctica, and raced the hell out of each other. One participant died. Yay!