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From today's featured article
My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...
Reasons not to vote for Buddy:
I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
In the news
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." (Pictured)
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard
On this day
- AAAA – AAA AAAAAAA AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAA
- AAAA – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA. AAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAA.
- AAAA – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA, A AAAAAAA AAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- AAAA – AA. A AAAAAA AAA AAA; AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA A AAAA AAAAAA.
- AAAA – AAAA AAAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA.
Picture of the day
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Jo(h)n is far from able to grasp the grim reality. Image credit: OPOSSUM, Alula, DaniPine3, L10nM4st3r, as well as YouTube’s PilotRedSun, whose video inspired this image. |
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