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From today's featured article 

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Dick Willie Johnson: Hey there folks! Thank you for tuning in to the Presidential Wrestling Classic! As always I'm your host, Dick Willie Johnson, joined by my good friend and colleague, Bud "Lite" Bigmeat.

Bud: Yes, let me be the first to tell everyone that we have one hell of a show for y'all tonight. This is something truly special.

Dick: Folks, grab a cold beer and just enjoy the show tonight. No matter how old you are, grab a goddamn beer, crack that sumbitch open and get a little buzz going.

Bud: Goddamn right, Dick. I got me some Jack Daniels! My absolute favorite, as I'm sure you all know! (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (Pictured)
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
  • ... that in Spanish, "chinga tu madre" means "have a nice day"? Tell your friends!

In the news 

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Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out..

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: Charlie KirkRobert RedfordU.S. Federal GovernmentJane GoodallDiane KeatonGaza WarDrew StruzanWindows 10D'AngeloYouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISSJune LockhartNick MangoldJamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefsCapitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys

On this day 

Talk funny, I do not

November 10: Like Yoda, Talk You Should Day

  • 1923 - Lenin accidentally ordered to execute 10,000 Russian oligarchs imitating master Yoda with the words "Execute, do not, forgive"
  • 1962 - President John F. Kennedy says "The Moon, we choose to go, because it is easy not, but because hard it is."
  • 1967 - Mick Jagger states, "To meet you, pleased I am. Guess my name, hope you I."
  • 1994 - Quentin Tarantino says, "Pulling in here, when you came, you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage, did?"
  • 1998 - President Bill Clinton states "Sexual relations with that woman, I had not"
  • 1998 - Britney Spears sings "One more time baby, hit me you shall."
  • 2005 - Kanye West declares "Care about black people, George Bush does not."

Picture of the day

Individually wrapped M&M's (from OCD)
NEW! Individual wrappings prevent Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Image credit: MoneySign
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,968 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.