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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

The Internal Revenue $ervice (IRS, also known as the Infernal Robbery $ervice, Insignificant Rhethoric of Shits, or The reason I hate the US government) isn't a service at all but a side arm of the judiciary that strikes terror in those who get a dreaded audit letter. Actually, it's a bureau of the U.S. Department of the Treasury but it may as well be situated in a waterboarding room in a El Salvadorian super-prison. It is an evil organization whose purpose, according to the law that created, is to "harass, bully, intimidate, threaten, fine, imprison, and dismember American citizens who do not fork over everything they own. This includes their future salary and your vital organs. Why? For no other reason than that the IRS says so. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)

... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?

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In the news [edit]

Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
Austria wins Eurovision (Pictured)
MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church

Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and Deltarune • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run • Night Court • Lopez vs Lopez • Jayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen

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On this day [edit]

May 23: Stop the Stoat Molesting Night

818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time. The Force puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on her door.
1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
1831 - Tupperware factory accident kills dozens of women and children.
1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
2006 - Hal 9000 starts an advice column for worried humanoids, fails miserably.
2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.

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