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From today's featured article
Dick Willie Johnson: Hey there folks! Thank you for tuning in to the Presidential Wrestling Classic! As always I'm your host, Dick Willie Johnson, joined by my good friend and colleague, Bud "Lite" Bigmeat.
Bud: Yes, let me be the first to tell everyone that we have one hell of a show for y'all tonight. This is something truly special.
Dick: Folks, grab a cold beer and just enjoy the show tonight. No matter how old you are, grab a goddamn beer, crack that sumbitch open and get a little buzz going.
Bud: Goddamn right, Dick. I got me some Jack Daniels! My absolute favorite, as I'm sure you all know! (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
- ... that in Spanish, "chinga tu madre" means "have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
In the news
- United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports
- A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race
- US government shutdown leads to the cancellation of over 1000 flights
- New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured)
- Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
- Dingo eats a woman's baby
- Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government continues to shit itself
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC
Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys
On this day
November 10: Like Yoda, Talk You Should Day
- 1923 - Lenin accidentally ordered to execute 10,000 Russian oligarchs imitating master Yoda with the words "Execute, do not, forgive"
- 1962 - President John F. Kennedy says "The Moon, we choose to go, because it is easy not, but because hard it is."
- 1967 - Mick Jagger states, "To meet you, pleased I am. Guess my name, hope you I."
- 1994 - Quentin Tarantino says, "Pulling in here, when you came, you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage, did?"
- 1998 - President Bill Clinton states "Sexual relations with that woman, I had not"
- 1998 - Britney Spears sings "One more time baby, hit me you shall."
- 2005 - Kanye West declares "Care about black people, George Bush does not."
Picture of the day
| NEW! Individual wrappings prevent Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Image credit: MoneySign |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
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- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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