User talk:Prettiestpretty/archive8

1 or 2 things...

"Run-of-the-mill" - are this kind of expressions written without the dashes nowadays? Not being sarcastic, mind you: I actually don't know. There are a couple without. And no problem - it's refreshing to see an article that's rather subtle than a rip-off. -- Style  Guide 04:54, 18 December 2008 (UTC)

Congrats

It appears your picture is going to win the TDB. Congratulations. I was impressed by your Short bus article as well. Very clever and nicely done. --EMC ^[TALK] 04:22, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Also... MrN 05:05, Dec 21

Yes. That as well. --EMC ^[TALK] 18:47, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

---

A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:23, Dec 21

Congrats On The Double Victory!

PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

---

BITCH, PLEASE!

I'd just like to say to you, <insert name here> Merry/Happy/Already with the happy! Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Capitalism, bitch-nizzle! and other mildly offensive things that make self-respecting white-people cringe with disgust. -Colin "All your base" Heaney

Also: congrats on your image winning the TDB! Colin ALL YOUR BASEHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 20:25, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:58, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

----Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 08:06, 25 December 2008 (UTC)C

UnSignpost 1st January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

January 1st, 2009 • Issue 29 • The first newspaper to wish you a Happy Christmas 2009!

The UnSignpost starts 2009 as it ended 2008: Late The UnSignpost, the wiki newspaper with the highest staff turnover on the interwebs, has made a promising start to 2009, by being late with the first issue of the year. Gentleman editor UU said "I could say the issue was ready on time, but it was tricky to find a paperbot, but we at the Signpost have never hid behind excuses. Oh no, wait, we do that all the time. I couldn't be bothered to hunt hard enough to find a paperbot. Sorry. Still, it's not like the readers expect better, is it?" Several readers were probably available for comment, but we didn't ask them anything and blatantly made one up: "it wouldn't be the UnSignpost if it arrived on time", Orian57 might have said, if we'd asked him. The Patronising New Year EditorialTM If you follow a sensible calendar, and not a Chinese, Jewish, Muslim, Celtic or whatever one, a New Year has just dawned, bringing with it the faintest vestiges of hope. Hope that things may just be different this time. Hope that we may keep a resolution for longer than a week. Hope that we will achieve all those targets our hearts desire. Hope that mankind may finally rise above the pettiness of squabbling between families, religions and nations, and unite in a glorious surge towards a bright, common future. From this we can infer that Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption didn't have a clue what he was on about - hope is a ridiculous thing, and should be crushed as soon as possible. However, there is still the possibility, however remote, that something good might happen. Active users might start writing more good articles again. VFH might start to flow like it used to. Old users may return, invigorated, to bestow upon us fresh fruits of their imaginations. New users may arrive to take up the baton, and stride boldly forward, blessing us with a wealth of new articles that inject fresh purpose and impetus to the site. Don't look like that - it might happen. Well, monkeys might also fly out of your butt. Depends if teleportation technology ever becomes viable, widely available, and small enough to secure in such a narrow location. Face it, we haven't a clue what this year holds for us yet, folks, all we can do is try and make it the best we can by writing more articles, and helping new users out, and see where we go from there. This is your UnSignpost, patronising the fuck out of you. Happy New Year! Kevin Rudd says Uncyclopedia is the worst By Joe9320 Recently, Kevin Rudd said that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in Beijing, China, he said "Uncyclopedia is the worst. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. Fuck Uncyclopedia! It's just a plain ripoff of Wikipedia" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "Illogicopedia is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even Wikipedia doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words". As the people of Uncyclopedia, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is not a ripoff of Wikipedia. Hail Cthulhu!

Check out these pages! Something about us being the worst, maybe? Possessive pride The "bring back Gert" bandwagon starts here Upstanding songwriting competition From our logs: 14:04, 26 December 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.59.56.100 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (For doing something to a page on Phil Collins. You have terrible taste.) 12:56, 25 December 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked YourFriend (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (If I shove a Christmas tree up your ass, does that make you an angel?) 21:23, 18 December 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.182.114.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Your edits are bad on a scale I haven't seen in quite some time. You'd be the chosen one if the goal of this wiki was to make shitty stubs about your friends.) Biopic of the Week Proudly the worst since 2005, Uncyclopedia is the place all subscribers to this newspaper will have edited at least once. That means you are directly responsible for its worstness. We hope you feel suitably chastened. Year of the week 2008. As far as years went, it was OK - there were days in it, things happened and whatnot. People joined, people left, people returned, people lurked, people vandalised, and drama was never far away. But it's probably the best year we've had for at least 8 months. Year that hasn't happened yet of the week. 2022. We just get a good feeling about it. It'll probably suck now. Exhortation to vote on stuff of the week We at the UnSignpost know how much you all love voting, so what better treat than the bumper crop of New Year voting pages? Top 10 of Dec, WotY, UotY, PotY, WotM, UotM, PotM, RotM, VFH, VFD... How much fun can you have in one month?

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MrN9001 01:01, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?

So yeah, if you remember this, I've finally had a bit of a chip at it. Enjoyed it too. I was contemplating further chippage, but thought I'd get your thoughts on how it stands so far, and if you're happy for me to continue - wouldn't want to tread on the Prettiest toes! --UU - natter 14:06, Jan 5

Dude. Your edits have touched that special place I call my heart. Seriously, its so much better. Thanks! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:15, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Yay! I may undertake some more chipping shortly then. Hope you're having an agreeable 2009 thus far. --UU - natter 14:28, Jan 5

America is 15 days away from unloading George W. Bush. Its going to be a great year. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:58, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Sweet Smokin' Genius

I like. Gave it a quick proof-read, got rid of a couple of typos and some redundant words - if I've inadvertently altered any American spellings to English, do please feel free to revert. I've got to go and look after a friend's children this afternoon but will give some thought to the article while doing so and see if I can come up with anything to add. Doubtless Modus will come up with something too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:01, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

January 8th, 2009 • Issue 30 • Suckling the Milk of News from the Teat of Truth

Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live By SysRq Recently, hundreds dozens some Uncyclopedians have joined the ranks of thousands of pizza-faced proud high school graduates and pre-pubescent twelve year old boys in the dysfunctional, loosely connected network of gamers known as Xbox Live. Among these traitors to Uncyclopedia were Orian57, a friend of the UnSignpost and frequently featured writer. Other Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live include The Woodburninator, Mhaille, Bonner, and Heerenveen. How could such successful Uncyclopedians go so wrong? I went undercover as "Pope Gustav" to expose these turncoats and find out why they abandoned the site in such numbers. The following is an actual transcript between me (under the alias "Pope Gustav") and Orian57 (under the alias "Orian57") on Xbox Live. Pope Gustav: Hey buddy, it's SysRq from Uncyclopedia. Orian57: Hello. You want to play some Horde? Pope Gustav: Yeah, man. We're playing on Gridlock, right? Orian57: Actually, Security is a much easier map for Horde. Pope Gustav: Cool. This is stunning evidence that Orian57, along with others, is leaving the site for the glamorous life of Xbox Live. When confronted with this transcript and these accusations, Orian replied that "I was just on Uncyclopedia today. I was just bored and wanted something else to do." Oddly enough, all of the other Uncyclopedians that have Xbox Live accounts that I spoke to also claimed to have "lives" outside of Uncyclopedia, lives that mainly consist of playing Halo 3. Article gets +21 votes on VFH By Mnbvcxz. Only a few days after going back to featuring "Today's Featured Article" for only one day, instead of the previous two, the article, The defense rests, your honor received 21 "for" votes and no "against" after a mere 3 days on VFH. The article, nominated on VFH by SysRq, and written by noted admin Modusoperandi, is the first article surpass +20 votes in a long while on VFH. Upon hearing of his accomplishment, Modus is heard to have said, "I'd like to thank all of the little people that I crushed to get where I am," and, "Can I wear my Kernel Popcorn costume?" SysRq, the article nominator is quoted as saying, "I was the one who nommed that article; I deserve some recognition." For those of you are new around here, VFH is the process by which uncyclopedia nominates articles for "Today's Featured Article", the article in the top left corner on the mainpage. All users of uncyclopedia, including anonymous ip users are encouraged to vote on VFH and nominate articles on VFH. VFH can be found here, but typing in VFH in the search box, by clicking the "Votes for Highlight" link under the community links on the right (it's second from the bottom between "Pee Review" and "Votes for Pictures"), and Uncyclopedia:VFH, in addition to several other redirects. Many users have expressed approval of this accomplishment, as the more votes an article gets, the better an article is. Therefore, by voting on an article, one injects more quality into an article, in the same way that manufacturers "inspect" quality back into a finished part. Additionally, the admins will not longer be forced to torture various cute animals to inspire users to vote in VFH: provided VFH doesn't stall out again.

Check out these pages! Serious Bitchin' Business Women farting on baked goods... Who was that guy? From our logs: 14:30, 7 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.249.151.205 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hi hi poop? That's the best you can do?) 22:38, 6 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.201.148.112 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (People who don't learn need to get extra lessons via their anus. Well, I'm here to give extra lessons. Bend over mister!) 15:22, 4 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.175.81.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (1nd, I have 2 dads, and 2th, just because I am the product of dirty, dirty incest, and also a fuckface, that is no reason to blank my talkpage. Fuckface.) Biopic of the Week Whatever else you say about Mordillo, you can't say he's idle. Except in real life, because he's spending all his time on his computer, banning asshats, deleting crap, making stuff happen, writing quality articles, and sorting shit out. Of course, as he's a Zionist, it's all part of a wider conspiracy to control our very thoughts, but that's probably a small price to pay for such an efficient admin. Old School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. Translated Uncyclopedia Article of the Week Drill Sergeant in Mexican. ¡UN INSTRUCTOR DE ENTRENAMIENTO ES LO QUE CARAJOS SOY! ¡DESDE AHORA NADA VENDRÁ DE ESA INMUNDA COLADERA LLENA DE CACA QUE USTED LLAMA BOCA! ¡SÓLO RESPONDERÁ CON 'SÍ SEÑOR' O 'NO SEÑOR'! ¿¡ENTIENDE RECLUTA!? Read the original. The welcome(?) return of Cajek ban of the week 09:46, 7 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Cajek, you have no idea how wasted I am. 15 shots of gin and somehow I'm still awake. And blocking you. Fuck yes.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 16:02, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

There ya go luv

Hey Now!

I'm in research and scribble mode with a new project. Something along the lines of "HowTo:Be A Damsel In Distress". It'll need a woman's touch if you (or anyone else you can recommend) is interested in some collaborative work.--    11:01, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Now that is enticing. Give it a start and I'll harmonize right in. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 19:23, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Will-Do, I've compiled a bunch of ideas and notes and I'm deciding on angle. I have two hilarious home-made pics I found that go with a modern real woman allowing her pathetic spouse to feel wanted and needed by playing damsel in distress. Then there's the comic book/superhero angle including advice on how to choose your hero and villain wisely. "Don't get close to superheroes that attract freaks for enemies". Lots of pictures. I know a site that specializes in pics of vintage Comics covers that feature damsel-in-distress being tied up/bondage. Any thoughts?--    20:08, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

You could do this one of two ways. You could a) play it as real thing that can happen, but only if you are being held captive my a dragon, locked in a tower, etc. - OR - you could play it very, very low key and show that there are all sorts of people about that can help you, "your problem is that you've been condition to expect a handsome prince to come to your rescue, not an overweight plumber named Ralph with a butt crack like a Vegas slot machine" angle. Just me thoughts. PP Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:10, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

As I start writing it's looking like it's going in a real-thing-that-can-happen direction. User:DrStrange/HowTo:Be A Damsel In Distress I think my gut instinct is moving toward making fun of the fact that "damsel-n-distress" is an overly-used plot device for entertainment in all forms. The world would just fall apart because protagonists would be unmotivated, etc. It's tone would be kinda like girl-talk, poking fun at pathetic men and their need for drama/self esteem issues and giving each other tips for dealing with the role. I'll keep working on the skeleton, it should provide an avenue for all of the angles and jokes we're mentioning.--    11:18, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

It's ready for you to mess with/add to. Nothing is too sacred here, see/say what you think--    20:13, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15th January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

January 15, 2009 • Issue 31 • Making the New York Times look like Mad Magazine (or is that the other way round?)

From The Desk of the Cabal: Incest and sex change are now bannable offenses From the desk of the cabal. Embedded with the last person who came looking for the cabal Following the sex change operations of citizen (now citizeness) Yettie, and several suspicious sexual activities in the Uncyclopedia compound, the Cabal hereby decrees the following: Sex changes are only allowed if the citizen wishes to become a voluptuous female. Any other operations are banned (particularly those who wish to become males, or just more manly looking, in order to improve their chances of scoring with various Uncyclopedians of either gender). Any sexual activities with family members is strictly prohibited. Exceptions are: members of the AAN family members, who can shag aunts and granddaughters as much as they'd like. Sex tax is now in affect. All sex acts taking place in Uncyclopedia are taxable. Taxes should be paid to Olipro no more than 24 hours after the act has taken place. Acceptable currencies are: Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Young Boys and Camels. Thank you citizens, this message was not delivered by the Cabal which does not exist. Behave nice, vote on VFH and obey the Cabal. The Cabal is your friend. Or it would be. If it existed. Pee Revuu? In a surprise move, Boomer, former dictator in absentia of PEEING, the group for opinionated users who enjoy nothing more than giving a good Pee Review, has announced his official retirement. His last official act was to appoint Under user, noted reviewer and maintainer of the Pee Review committee page, to his old position of Captain Catheter. Some regular pee reviewers are worried; Orian57 was heard to say "If UU is going to do Boomer's job, then who the hell are we going to get to do UU's old job of keeping track of pee reviews, judging the quality of pee reviews, and actually getting around to doing the occasional pee review? Don't look at me, I'm gay." UU himself dismissed such fears, pointing out that he's got nothing better to do with his time than arbitrarily judge the quality of other people's opinions anyway, and adding "I'm relieved to be taking up this position as it will drastically reduce the number of reviews I'm expected to do. Also, I'm thinking of introducing a policy of stripping Orian57, and only him, of his RotM award, his rank, his mittens and his right to drink hot chocolate ever again unless he does a bloody review some time soon". However, some users are still not convinced this is a good idea, or even possible. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "I seriously doubt that UU can do Boomer's job and his own at the same time. I mean, how can he be accused of being a lazy arse if he has almost twice as many good pee reviews as anyone else and does 75% of the pee review maintenance tasks? This ruins the running pee review committee in-joke about Captain Catheter not doing anything. There is no way this can work."

Check out these pages! Rcmurphy of the Year Mooses pops back for some bandwagon action The reason for 4pedia From our logs: 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) 23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.) 01:06, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.135.165.198 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hey! I remember you! You evaded that ban that one time, remember? Good times, man, good times.) 15:17, 10 January 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modus Operandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (1 month for being an ass, the other for that stupid username.) Biopic of the Week It's hard to define the singular entity known as Modusoperandi in mere words. He's like Uncyclopedia's wandering troubadour of amusing non-sequiturs: roaming the land in search of discussions worthy of his absurdist input, sitting by the campfire of the conversation, treating those assembled to another whimsical one-liner, and then heading off toward another exchange where his presence is required. Kinda like the Littlest Hobo, but with jokes. And lots of awards, featured articles, admin powers and suchlike. VFD Delete vote of the week Delete How many half-baked, stale jokes can we fit on one page? More importantly, how can something be stale and yet only half-baked? by Syndrome on Awesomeness. Transatlantic jaunt of the week After many months in the hands of that most malevolent of dictators, the United States date format, the New Year allowed our stand-up English editor to put the UnSignpost printing presses on a 747 to what this journalist considers the correct British format! Rejoice! (Note: What you paid for this paper may or may not have gone on the presses' ticket. We don't know. It may also have gone on that booze over there.)

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MrN9001 21:31, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

January 22 + 7, 2009 • Issue 32 • Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while

Zionists consolidate wiki power By The rather nervous junior horoscope writer accidentally promoted to editor in chief Yeah the st-story is, erm, about Mr Mor-Mordillo’s erm asce-ascent—rise to new power. He was, eh, pr-promoted to erm, Be-Beu- Bureaucrat? Which, erm, me-means he can- can now do- do th-things he cou-couldn’t d-d-do b-before; Kind-kind of like m-my pro-pro-promotion. Heh-heh, th-that was a j-jo-joke. S-some Un-Uncyclope-Uncyclopedians th-think this p-p-proves s-s-s-something abou-about so-some s-sort of J-Je-Jewish, erm, conspiracy. Or-or something, I-I’m n-not really sh-sh-sure why that was meant to be funny. Pro-pro-probably was-was-wasn’t. So-sorry. Th-the decision ca-came about b-b-because of th-the fuh-fuh-forum voting process in-in-initiated b-by Under—Under user wh-who was u-u-upset tha-that Bureaucrat C-C-Codeine had decided to leave. After s-some ti-time voting it-it was d-d-decided that Mordillo w-w-would become a Bureaucrat and that C-C-C-Codeine wasn’t leaving a-a-after all! Which was g-g-good. M-M-Mordillo di-didn’t ma-make a c-c-comment s-so I-I’ve b-been told t-to make one u-up. Erm, “Ha ha ha! N-Now you-you’re all un-under my thumb!” Or something, that that wasn’t really f-funny ei-either. Sorry, M-Mordillo, it-it’s not my W-words! Image:Do a jailbait.jpg Determined to be a Shemale By Mnbvcxz and Orian57 To the relief of Uncyclopedians everywhere, notorious image "Do a jailbait" has been scientifically proven not be a girl. Originally, many suspected that the disturbing and disturbingly attractive image was that of young girl: age estimates ranging from jail bait age down to "pedo-bear approves" age. However, due to much "research" on the internet regarding the appearance shemales who are just over the age of consent, it has been determined that said image was in fact a young shemale. Researchers said the hairy arms and the huge penis of the lady in question proved without reasonable doubt that the image can not be that of a girl. Many in the Uncyclopedia community were relived by the news. Orian57 in particular who stated the child was “quite sexy.”, on the image talk page, was relieved to find he could no longer be considered bisexual. Some worry about the continuing freedom of Sockpuppet of an unregistered user after his comment: “I don't care. Me wanna rape!”

Check out these pages! Think of the Grues, won't someone please think of the Grues? Looks like the cool and sexy admins IP is back under another different name then Virtually nothing From our logs: 19:48, 22 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Jeus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (And the Lord said, "Let there be bannination," and there was bannination, and one more asshat was kept off of the wiki, and the Lord looked and he saw that it was good.) 03:30, 19 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.27.241.181 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking talk pages is annoying. Your inability to take a joke is even more annoying. The fact that you haven't yet been banned for either is the most annoying of all. I can fix one of those.) 02:47, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked CANIHASTHISPLEEZ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Looks like somebody needs to get a life. This nice little ban will keep Uncyclopedia from getting in the way of that.) Biopic of the Week To some, a meaningless jumble of letters, Mnbvcxz is much, much more than that. In fact, he's much, much more than you could possibly imagine. In fact, he's so much more that trying to explain it in a small box in a wiki newspaper is futile, particularly if you spend so much time explaining that you can't explain his awesomeness that you leave yourself little space to try. Still, he reviews, categorises, helps out and does stuff. But that's only the tip of the iceberg that is Mnbvcxz! Reason why the UnSignpost is a week late of the fortnight The editor was busy, and totally lacked inspiration. Want to make sure the paper is on time next week? Give us a story in the press room! Cajek ban of the fortnight 05:21, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a spanking ‎ (20 bans in August, 9 in September, 10 in October, Just 2 in December and 2 in January. Disgraceful.)

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MrN9001 02:30, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

It is a tradition

That POTY has to conjure his own prize template. The prize committee will be waiting for your proposals :) ~ 16:35, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

• I am struggling with it as I type. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:57, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
  • Lovely. Congrats on the award! ~ 19:19, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Hey, Homie!

How's it hanging? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 23:42 1 February 2009

As my husband would say, hanging loose. Now that you asked - could you take a look at Sweet somking Jesus and opine on its merits? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:56, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

I could try, but you've given me a red link and I'm full of the cold right now. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:24 2 February 2009

Sweet smoking Jesus still needs more cowbell. I'm finally about to get back to doing a little work on it and any and all input (especially from someone like yourself) is helpful --    19:30, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

oh right I'll see how I'm feeling tommorow. trying to look at tagstit's monkey-fucking idea and barely concentrating on that. :| ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:33 2 February 2009

N00b Stuff

Hi there. I hate to keep bugging you about this, but I'd still like to be adopted if you're still up to the whole idea. If not, well, that's totally cool, but yeah. I mean, I've read most of your stuff and think it's all really good and I think I could learn a' thing 'r two under your Uncyclopedia wing.

Furthermore, I find you to be an incredibly attractive and sexy woman. *does creepy stare*

Finally, on a totally unrelated note, I'd like to be nominated for the incredibly prestegious N00b of the Month award, as I am a N00b and been here less than a month. Me calling you attractive had absolutely nothing to do with me trying to get you to nominate me as NotM. Seriously, nothing at all. Stop assuming it did.

I will now sign my post, as per our agreement:

--Guildensternenstein 21:37, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Recipes on Endangered Species

Now hold em' steady while I rip his guts out

Take a look at the latest plot twist to help fuel this article somewhere ridiculously funny. Hit the link and it should be instantly apparent.--    22:08, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

• I've always thought that this article should go for the insidious, rather than slapstick. The recipes are good, and most of the illustrations. But I want to redo the cookbook, either as a Billy Mays cookbook or as a Martha Stewart one. Let me play around with this today when I can at work. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:17, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Sounds good! I'll continue working on better recipe pictures. Martha Stewart and evil/insidious are an easy match IMO. I have the pic pieces necessary to have Martha Stewart handling/cooking endangered species by herself and with celebrities. Any thought on celebrity friend recipes? Russell Crow Koala Stroganoff maybe? What think you?--    13:35, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

We had a rough evening last night with our little one, so I didn't have a chance to work on an image. I like this one in concept, but the koala is fuzzy. Could be a VFP if you could get a clearer koala, though. I have an idea for Chinese. Will get to it. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:18, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

YUUUUMMMMMM Manatee rue! Really? VFP for that pic? Sure, I can find a better koala. Also, I understand that between the two of us, I'm the one with very little going on in the life dept so no need to apologize. BTW, that disc golf tourney sucked. One inch of frozen crust on top of 6 inches of powder snow which covered a thin layer of black ice on the ground. Wind chill was horrible, it was whipping up dust devils of powdered snow. Definitely a survival experience.--    16:42, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

This article needs to be moved to unbooks. It no longer is encyclopediac. And oh, darken the blood in the image. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:35, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Blood darkened. That's exactly what the Mrs said, "blood's too bright". It takes forever for the new version to show these days for some reason but it's been altered. UnBook, eh? I should do one myself sometime.--    21:54, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Got yer message, I just happened to notice the move at roughly the same time after hitting "recent changes". So, after the Black Jack idea for endangered species (and seeing his grinning mug) I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head so I'm using him for something even sillier. Take a wild guess what the next project is!--    15:21, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Congratulations on PotY

You've earned it. By "earned", I mean "slept your way to the top". I assume that's how you did it, anyway. That's how I'd do it. Apropo of nothing, that's how I did it. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:10, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Why thank you! You know, sleeping ones way to the top is much easier than sleeping ones way to the middle. Now that's a challenge. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:21, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Now we have to clone you. Hold still. Stop squirming! There. The next generation of photochoppers is guaranteed. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:02, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

February 5, 2009 • Issue 33 • It's Journalism Jim, but not as we know it.

The ‘of the Year’ run down of the year! By Orian57 So after a long neurotic month of blatant prostitution, secret e-mail canvassing, bribery and coercion in deciding who should win the various ‘of the Year’ awards (plus a completely normal five days of knowing who did) the results are in! UotY: Mordillo! Nominated (but not voted for) by UU with the reason “[he does] the big bad wolf stuff to keep fuckwits at bay.”. 21 Jew jokes later (“Jew that controls the internet”, “I feel I have to vote for him” and “I love this man. To the point that his girlfriend is seriously distraught by it”) Mordillo was the landslide victor a whole 12 votes ahead of the runner up, UU! And he deserved it too (though to be frank I deserved it more)! Our WotY was Modusoperandi! Narrowly beating Mhaille by 2 votes he was nominated by UU with the reasoning “…Tends to brighten my day whenever I see him, although that could be the light reflecting off his gleaming naked body.” Another 19 Canadian jokes ( “this silly Canadian”, “I never would have thought that casting a vote would be so painful as this” and “Modus is like maple syrup. On the outside he's all golden, sweet and sticky. On the inside however, he's all golden, sweet and sticky”) won him the award! (though to be frank I would have appreciated it more!) Next up was our winner of PotY, Prettiestpretty! She was nominated (but not voted for) by Mhaille because she is the “producer of some very impressive work” and has won the PotM twice! 18 girl jokes later (“such a foregone conclusion”, “She's earned this and then some” and “Unlike most people here, I'm actually going to give a reason for voting for PP. I'm even going to write two sentences explaining the reason.”) she deservedly won the award which she herself designed. (I don’t even know how to use MS paint but I’d still like to have been acknowledged). There was also an impromptu N00b of the Year award created that Rcmurphy ran off with. He was nominated by Spang with the reason “He really deserves it this time” and received 12 N00b jks (“How can you be a year old and still be a noob without being rcmurphy”, “He's still confused too” and “[Hyperbole is] regularly here and dangerously competent. Rc remains the quintessential n00b”). (*grumble* I started lurking in 2007…) Lastly and leastly there was the UGotY which was awarded to Wikia. Nominated by Mhaille with the reason “Wikia continue to raise the bar on defining what it means to be a Useless Gobshite”. He/she/it got 5 jokes that I don’t properly understand (“As much as I'd like to see Yettie take this, Wikia is both more useless and far more of a gobshite”, “it's rare to see such dedication to gobshitery” and “Outstanding contributions to fail.”). (Ok so I’m not bitter about loosing this.)

Check out these pages! Penis Pants Er, fox? From our logs: 1:33, 2 February 2009 Flyingfeline (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.169.166.86 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Oh, brilliant. Well, that's going to be fun for both of us. I wonder who'll get bored first?) 04:39, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.138.52.153 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hey there! Remember me? I was the admin that asked you to stop failing so hard back in October. Now I'm asking again, but with a ban length 12 times longer.) 18:16, 29 January 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Sej (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ ("And He saw the work, and He was sore displeased; and He did smite the n00b with all his wrath". Book of Codeine, ch. 6, vs 9) Biopic of the Week YesTimeToEdit Commonly known as Yettie, he won N00b of the Month back in April 08 after writing a featured UnNews. He went on a crusade to gave us all more things not to care about than we can handle. Following another feature he deservedly won UGotM. There has also been some recent confusion about his gender. Cajek ban of the week 04:48, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 28 minutes ‎ (Apparently the UnSignpost has a 'Cajek ban of the week' section. This is my week!) Custom box #3 This box is empty. Imagine something nice here like a Caribbean holiday, getting sand in your shoes and arse crack while being blistered by sun you weren't made to handle and pretending to enjoy yourself.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  03:15, Feb 5

You can do something FOR me

Look at my article what I done and judge it. There is also this. Was this the kind of thing you had in mind when you said you could do something for me on my talk page? :) Also I hope you don't hate the bit in the paper about you. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 07:51 5 February 2009

I liked the article, would have changed one word in the song and have no problem-o with the sign-post mention EXCEPT it forgot to mention how God damn inmpressive my self created award is (which I may play around with and alter in the coming weeks). And Oh, don't forget you promised to take a peek at Sweet smoking Jesus my little honey bunches of oats. Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:32, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Sorry about that, I'd thought about putting in a picture of your award but I didn't really have the space. Also can I drop a subtler hint? And also this? ;) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:43 5 February 2009

You're the coolest! :D If only circumstances were different... For now though, *cyber hug*. :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:37 5 February 2009

Snatch, what are friends for? Could you take a look at Pupate Homosexual and tell me if I have it right? Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:44, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

I'll have a look. But you're really not asking the right person. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 01:55 6 February 2009

Do you know any gay people around these parts? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:44, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Well theres MrN9001, he doesn't have an orientation of his own so you can assign whichever one you like. Though I just meant I'm almost 19 and still haven't been kissed yet. I had an unrequited love for nearly two years when I was 14-16 if that counts though. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 03:13 6 February 2009

Oh, how sweet! You're saving yourself; but if you don't at least take a quick taste of the fruit of life, how will you know if the flavor doesn't suit you? Lucky is the young man who awakens from the drudgery of the world to discover you, and allows you to discover him. As for that unrequited love for two years, learn from that mistake. You are young, and the future seems endless for now: there is nothing sadder than one who gives their heart to another who has no use for it, only find that that the years have slipped by without reward of real affection. This is the only tragedy life - to give ones heart to another who doesn't care. The opposite of love isn't hate, its apathy. Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:08, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Also this was great, You'll need to sort out some SpellIng/grammer issues but I thought it was pretty solid other than that. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:18 6 February 2009

Does Template:Infobox Shitland need to exist?

Would that work in the article as a code substitution? One use templates generally aren't good: there is a risk that some noob might spam them and they tend to encourage noobs to spawn other such templates. I'm not saying that template shouldn't exist, I'm just asking if there is a reason its a template. --Mnb'z 06:23, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

I don't care how it is as long as its on the article. If you don't like the template, then create the code to take its place BEFORE you nom the template for a VFD. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:09, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

GILF

I'm tempted to nom this page but want your permission. Are we finished yet?--    22:32, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

Have at it. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:51, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

I suppose the VFH board will open up a slot soon and I'll be at it. I kind of bumped into GILF when you were doing minor edits and I couldn't think of a thing to add or rephrase on it. I'm still going to work on my...ahem...period piece which won't feature Jack Black but I've had a brainstorm on a new project that will finish sooner. "Private Eye" has not been covered as a general subject and beyond a few articles that are specific characters the subject is wide open. I've been listening to a steady diet of Old Time Radio for about three years now, so I'm producing a paint-by-number private eye story that focuses more on the metaphor abuse so common in this particular genre during the radio days than some fascinating intricate plot. I'm not going for Naked Gun stupid and trying to emulate Pat Novak for hire and Broadway: My Beat. I'll give you linky when it's off the clipboard and maybe you can think of some bizarre metaphors using contemporary subjects.--    12:56, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Ooooooh well, sorry about that. I didn't think it was the Mona Lisa or anything but some of the stuff that's popular on VFH looks like it was tossed together in an afternoon so I thought it had a chance. Perhaps a lack-of-prurient-interest for the target audience was a factor. Who knows. I have linky for Private Eye. Still in base construction mode. I've already written some odd metaphors down that can be worked-on or altered or completely ignored. It's inspirational material just like the damsel writing tactic. This is going to be a fast moving story that may have gaps in-between relatively brief chapters (ADD enabled). I really need a better demographic for his milk-bone underwear sideline to cater to.....I don't like "tourists".--    11:02, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Drive-by: looking promising Doc, I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. You might wanna read this, if you haven't already, to make sure you avoid coming off too close to it. --UU - natter 11:05, Feb 12

Thank you UU, I did have a concern that there might be something out there I needed to avoid duplicating.--    11:46, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Private Eye

Uh oh! we're getting into dialogue and intricate plot now! That's OK, because I like the way it's going so far. I've made two more sections needed for a proper film noir and today I'll be doing some reading to establish the genre's industry-standard cliche "escape mechanisms" to employ in order to resolve the story properly.--    12:23, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

OK, I have a plot. I really only want you and me to know the details. People are watching and I don't want to write the surprise ending until the very end for suspense purposes. Any way to PM the info to you? Yahoo box or something?--    13:07, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Go ahead and email me the plot using the email this user linkie in the left side box. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:05, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

I think there was a touch of "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" in the plot. After the weekend we might have ourselves a finished product. You're rollin'.--    17:59, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

PI is now on pee, PP. It needs some blue linkage, perhaps some micro-scrutiny on the grammar and that's about it I think. If you see an opportunity to get another good zinger in or perhaps fine-tune a silly metaphor, have at it.--    14:28, 20 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

February 12, 2009 • Issue 34 • Mainlining news direct to your talk page artery

Worrying influx of n00bs a threat to Uncyc's "worst" status By UU How can you resist my n00b power of cuteness? After the flow of n00bs slowed to a trickle at the tail end of 2008, 2009 has seen the site experiencing a veritable tidal wave of new editors, enthusiastically bounding around the site like wide-eyed puppies that have yet to meet Olipro, tramping mud into the carpet, and leaving half-eaten IPs on the floor of the Village Dump. Worse still, many of these new arrivals show early signs of being dangerously competent: writing funny articles; giving in-depth pee reviews; voting on stuff; helping folks out - generally making the kind of contributions that could, if the community is not careful, lead to the site losing its coveted "worst" status. Experienced editors queued up to condemn the invasion - "Very happy to see the influx in good new editors coming in, we've been devoid of that extra boost for far too long it seems" said RAHB, the bile seething from his every pore, while MrN spoke scathingly about "great additions to Uncyc". But is it too late? With competition for the NOTM award at its most fierce for months (4 noms and none of them Rcmurphy at the last count), it looks like it may be too late to reject this transfusion of new blood. Is there any hope for the long-term future of the proud traditions of the wiki under this relentless onslaught of new talent? A comment on Bullshit from MrN As a well known protagonist of the noble and honourable art of bullshitting I felt it my place to speak out regarding this most tricky of issues. Much has been said of late regarding the consistency, and texture of what we at Uncyc consider to be suitable for our beloved wiki. As you know, normal traditional (un-specified) crap we don't want, but there must always be room for more bullshit on Uncyclopedia. Some will no doubt consider my last comment to be horse shit, which (as you may know) has a slightly thicker consistency. The dilemma we must then face is how do we categorise and specify the fine (if rather smelly) line between what is crap and what is bullshit. The study of bull-crap may also been of concern to some readers, but I feel it not my place to enter that arena. This article stinks enough as it is. However... When considering bullshit, I feel it important to point out our rigorously defined guidelines regarding the use of bollocks as I feel many of the important principles apply. If I may quote: “Sometimes articles arrive at Articles for deletion which have only the most tenuous connection to reality: they are, to use a British term, Complete Bollocks. This is not always a bad thing.” ~ Uncyclopedia:Complete Bollocks I think that speaks for itself. Got it? So basically, we want more bullshit, some horse shit, and a liberal helping of complete bollocks. But NO CRAP. Unless it's crap which adds to the general stench of the article in question (assuming that stinking is what we want). Got it now? Well, look at it this way... There was a man who had three wives. No, that was Moses. Oh, so Moses comes down from Mount Sinai and says: "Well, lads. I got him down to ten, but adultery is still in." No wait. Sorry, that was complete bollocks. I'm drifting into the realms of pointless excrement, and what does this have to do with anything? Don't tell them that! So what was it I was talking about again? Oh, yea... Does anyone know where I left my slippers?

Check out these pages! Apparently, we had a "golden era" Only the Lonely Oh, it's nothing to do with marriage. I'm disappointed Random suggestion If we weren't on the internets, I'd say this was getting geeky From our logs: 13:25, 9 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.71.123.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (1 day for blanking, 1 week for blanking a featured, 2 weeks for blanking a top 10 and the rest is a bonus!) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 16:41, 7 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Luvvy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a purrr ‎ (And that's for flirting with another admin. Shame on you.) Biopic of the Week DrStrange is one of these here stellar n00bs that we're wittering on about in that there main article. He's been here for a bit over 2 months, and in that time has won NotM and already been nommed for WotM. At this rate, he'll be WotY by about June. Good job he's funny and good at writing things really, otherwise we'd be obliged to hate his precocious guts. Gender confirmation of the Week YesTimeToEdit astonished the Uncyclopedia community by admitting to being male. Orian57 continued in whale raping Yettie. SysRq consequently "won teh penis", granting him this most prized life-time achievement award. In the ensuing chaos, Sockpuppet of an unregistered user cut off Yettie's penis and went on a raping spree with it. Mnbvcxz still believed that Yettie was a girl and the latter declared his love and desire to be raped towards the former. SoaUU AKA Sockie admitted having a vagina, or did (s)he?... Mnbvcxz refused to give his/her gender... Will Yettie get his penis back? Who is pretending to be male and who is pretending to be female? Tune in next week! Same penis-time. Same penis-channel. Cajek ban smackdown of the week 02:53, 10 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a voyage made in less than twelve parsecs ‎ (You want a ban-off, RAHB!? BRING IT!) 00:46, 7 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Kessel run ‎ (I shall not allow TheLedBalloon to dethrone my weekly Cajek-banning title!)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  20:46, Feb 11

Thanks for voting

And now, a special message from the President *pff...hehe* of the United States My fellow Uncyclopedians, This past vote on VFH has been an emotional one for our wiki. The people have spoken, and I am honorated to accept the privilegitude to servify the Uncyclopedia front page for another eight years. What do you mean, articles are only featured for one day? Thank you for voting. Much love, —Sir SysRq (talk)

Hey

Hey I am fairly new here and I do not know if you know about me but I know about you...creepy huh? Well anyways, I just started really getting into photoshop, and have turned up my first image for an article I am doing. I just asked Orian what the requirements were for making VFP quality pictures or what people are looking for and he directed me to you. So I was just wondering if you had any thoughts or tips you could bestow on me because my dad and stepdad are about as clueless as I am when it comes to pictures...no offense to them of course. Sorry to bother you, but if you do help me out thanks alot in advance! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 08:28, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Fuck you, I know plenty about images. I'm just too lazy to do em, that's all. =] —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:27, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh...well I just never see pictures on your page haha. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:49, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

"Ha ha" He's laughing at you, Sissy. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:50 14 February 2009

Damn straight...by the way I got my second feature today! =D ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:52, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

"Damn straight" Fucking homophobe. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:53 14 February 2009

No, I think what he meant was "Damn straight" as in "Damn those straight people and their ball scratching ways!" —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:58, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Fucking heterophobes. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:59 14 February 2009

GOD! ORIAN YOUR NOT EVEN PROUD OF MY FEATURE. I HATE YOU! IM GONNA GO LIVE WITH MY REAL DAD! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:00, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Fine you were getting too old for me anyway. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:02 14 February 2009

Good job at your baseball game, son! Wanna go get an ice cream? —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:15, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

You're not my daddy. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:16 14 February 2009

YA! Can we hang my feature in my room? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:18, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Let's put it right here on the refrigerator, son. Right next to all of the other things you made me that I hate. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:21, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Aww well I'm just happy to make you so proud. By the way, if your my dad and orian is my stepdad...who is my real mom? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:23, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Heerenveen. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:25 14 February 2009

Heerenveen. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:27, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Why her? I have never really seen her...or him... I thought it'd be Yettie ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:30, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Well she's away right now. so we can say anything we like and teh chances of her finding out are probably nil. Yettie is just too psychotic to have actual baby-making secx with. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:32 14 February 2009

Oh ok...she is funny though...is she a boy or girl...for reals...I have no freaking clue anymore ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:34, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

She's a girl, with a vagina and periosds and everything. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:35 14 February 2009

Gross...by the way...I feel bad for the people who come back to their page with a full conversation between random people in a section they didn't even contribute to.~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 19:37, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

That is a lie. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:38, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

HOLY SHIT WE'RE ON P.P.'s PAGE! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:39 14 February 2009

Thought I might...

...wish the only female on this site a happy Valentine's Day. So: "Happy Valentine's Day!" <3 --Guildensternenstein 17:20, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Aww! Somebody has a crush. /giggles like a school girl ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:33 14 February 2009

I do not! Girls are icky! --Guildensternenstein 04:13, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th February2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

February 19, 2009 • Issue 35 • Sifting the flour of news into the soufflé of your talk page

Uncyclopedia shuns ads in favor of product placement By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia admins today announced that there would most definitely never be advertisements placed in the hallowed halls of yon humor wiki. However, it seems in order to rake in the cash that would have resulted from these ads, similar to raking in the flavor from KFC's new Turkey-Flavored ChickenTM, we will instead be treated to subtle product placement in every facet of Uncyclopedia. The driving force behind this decision is undoubtedly greed. The driving force behind the new Ford ExplorerTM is Jack Bauer. Catch 24 this Sunday on FOX! Jack Bauer drives a Ford! When asked for Uncyclopedia's official political stance on the matter, sysop TheLedBalloon said, "You can't fool me Jimmy Carter! I voted for Gerald Ford in the last election and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT! You can't intimidate me with your 'pretending to be the newspaper reporter but actually being Jimmy Carter in disguise who will then detain me for several months of waterboarding hell' routine--fool me once, shame on you; fool my twice, shame on me...", which only added more fuel to the fire of speculation surrounding this occurence. For the best value fuel, visit Egan's SunocoTM. The mood in the Uncyclopedia break room was sombre today. Several users expressed their concern about not having ads placed on the wiki. "What? No ads? But how will we make money?" asked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. It seems the secret of product placement has been kept under wraps by the non-existant Cabal. For the best quality cling-wrap, choose Crestfield Wax PaperTM. When asked for the reason behind the secrecy, TheLedBalloon further elaborated on his earlier statement, saying, "FORD WAS RIGHT TO PARDON NIXON, DAMMIT! So take your goddamn liberal hippy goddamn elitist goddamn tax-raisings somewhere else!" Readers are reminded that Williams BrandTM is the preferred brand of hippy elitist tax-raisings by a 2-to-1 margin. Please stay tuned to the UnSignpost for further updates on the ad situation, the product placement situation, and how really, really terrible all of our articles are going to look with trademark tags mucking up the line spacing. Sonic Fever Hits Uncyclopedia By Joe9320 For the first time in 18 years - in fact, since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991 - Sonic Fever has again spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic is back! (Among several users on Uncyclopedia, at least). The first Golden Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic was way past his prime, grumbling about how he "used to be a contender" and trying to hock his large collection of gold rings and emeralds for beer money. People no longer cared about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time on the internet! It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. Uncyclopedia Experts have determined that the mania will be short lived, and be replaced by Mario Fever, and then a resurgence in Pokémon Fever all within the next 3 years. Meanwhile, Twilight mania among teenage girls will continue to outstrip it. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he was too busy for an interview. The UnSignpost imagines he'd probably have said something about Rouge The Bat being "hawt".

Check out these pages! Suffering voting withdrawal? This'll keep you happy for ages! So, do we collaborate... ...Or colonize? Decisions, decisions From our logs: 21:29, 15 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Thebigj2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1. blanker. 2. I live 10 minutes from Anna Frank's house, ergo - you're trashing my neighbourhood) 17:55, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Flyingwombatperson (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (If Britain no longer exists, why can I still buy British Breakfast tea? HUH? ANSWER ME THAT, SMART GUY! (also don't blank pages, please)) 13:21, 13 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Gettgett (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Do I know you? No. Do I know your butt ugly friends? No. Do I CARE about you and your friends? NO. Do I think you are all bored and butt ugly. YES. Get the point? Get some good looking friends) Biopic of the Week What do you look for in an amphibian? Long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits (fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail? Or a large banstick, supercool admin powers, awesome writing skills, gratuitous profanity and minor homicidal tendencies? If you chose the first option, you need a regular frog. If you chose the second, you need TKF. (Just don't call him TFK). If you chose the third option, you aren't playing properly. The continuing saga of Cajek block of the week 15:09, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Can you believe I haven't blocked you yet in 2009? Yeah, I know!) 07:40, Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 hours (Thou shalt not be Cajek, though I suppose thou must, so I shall cut thou some slack) 17:50, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 11 minutes ‎ ([edit/QuickEdit] Cajek (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • BLOCK (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) -- how Cajek on VFS looks to the sysops) 21:30, 11 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (Right you two - sod off, the chap had enough!) 21:06, 11 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 672 seconds ‎ (Oh that just fuckin' tears it Led. You hear me?! That fucking TEARS it! It's ON!)

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9001(bot)  18:09, Feb 19