Minivan

“That car is a fucking mom van!”

~ Me on looking at a minivan.

“Anybody can drive a mom van. but do you know what i like more than a minivan and a fucking super car? KNOWLEDGE.”

~ Tai Lopez on Reviewing a minivan.

“I know why you decided to purchase a minivan. It's because your a mom. Which people will say "you drive a mom van."”

~ Captain Obvious on a mom van.

Jesus, who created this monstrosity?

A minivan is supposed to be a smaller version of a Real man's van. Or a kidnapper's van. Doesn't matter. It usually has 1-2 rear doors. Most likely sliding doors. They are more commonly known as a "mom van".

History

Now with a free lift that makes average pickup trucks look like a Smart ForTwo.

The first minivan ever made was a Stout Scarab. A weird looking car that doesn't even look like a minivan.

This does not look anything like a minivan. I mean look at it! I am surprised that people are interested in this ancient "minivan."

Then more minivans were soon to follow. Now I am not gonna blind you with more minivan facts as i am a lazy bastard.

Toyota Minivans

I am only gonna list the well known ones.

• Shitlookingvan - a van that I mentioned
• $ienna - a common minivan that is mostly used in the US.
• Preeus Victory - Is it a minivan or a hatchback? We will never know.

Ford Minivans

• Aerotransparencystar - A minivan that has aero compatibility since 2007.
• TransitiontoIraq - This, this is a fucking van. But it's a minivan so I have to add that into the list.
  

  the Ford Aerotransparencystar may not look transparent. But it predicted Windows Vista by 11 Years.

GM Minivans

This is were their minivans are for real men.

• Chevy Downlander - A minivan that refuses to go up.
• Chevy Astronaut/GMC Safari Web Browser - Hey! my neighbors own that! GO AWAY!
• Chevy Lumina - The closest minivan to an actual van.

Kia Minivans

SPOILER: they only made 1 minivan.

• Sedona, Arizona - A minivan that was actually made in South Korea other than Sedona, Arizona.

Honda Minivans

SPOILER: There is also 1 minivan. And it's the last one.

• Space Odyssey - A minivan that cannot go into space.

Notes

• The Ford Aerotransparencystar was discontinued because the aero transparency caused Windows Vista to crash. Which caused the car to breakdown more than nuclear physics.
• The Ford TransitiontoIraq was banned in Iraq due to having anti-Muslim posters all over the damn van.
• Since a plane full of doughnuts crashed into the middle of Sedona, Arizona, the people changed the name to Sedonuts, Arizona.
• the mom-van may be known for being Your Mom's car.
• Did I mention that the minivans are so slow that speedracist such as Sonic, y'know, that blue hedgehog? Anyways. He would probably say that Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear would go faster on foot than your slow piece of shit.

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