User talk:Sycamore/Archive9

Pants

That is all. MrN 13:00, Dec 27

Trousers, shirt and tie. Then shoesies:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:04, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

Ok...--AnotherBadName 17:58, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

ICarly

ICarly appears to be being re-created, fairly close to how it was when it was before, although it looks a little more restrained, at the moment.--Mnbvcxz (Annoy) 15:43, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

My understanding was that re-created material was to be QVFD, especialy if its an IP...?:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:51, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

I'll probably get complaints, but I've hopfully got it a good stage where it can be completed, or huffed in 30 days:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:11, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

I've been trying to fix the article some, without annoying the ip authors or getting into a revert war. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'm helping, or just making it worse. The main thing I doing is trying to turn the retarded "newt in utero" idea into a euphemism for pregnancy. Although the euphemism is worse than its subject, I think it might have some potential to be funny(ish), if I can purge the "tail sticking out of Carly's privy regions is a you-know-what" from the article. Also, I'm partially regretting some of the images that I uploaded; I'm afraid that they might draw the "wrong kind of" ips to that article, and only make the problem worse. --Mnbvcxz 03:00, 4 January 2009 (UTC)

It is a bit of a shame that the ips aren't helping here. I would suggest either going on the IRC, and asking for it to be semi-protected - meaning only regitered users will be able to edit it. Or moving it into your userspace like User:Mnbvcxz/iCarly and putting the old on on QVFD. I think a finished version might sort out the IPs. I don't like the idea of trying to get bans for something like this as I don't think these IP edits are in bad faith. Hope this helps:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:49, 4 January 2009 (UTC)

Welcome note

I guess you're watching the new user lists - neat to get a welcome note so quick! :) I'm not new to wiki editing (you'll find me under the same username on en.wikipedia and *heaps* of other places), but it's really helpful to have the Uncyclopedia policies all laid out there. Thanks! Keep it up! Rosuav 14:38, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Groovy:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:40, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

It must be your chizzled good looks, I never get any "thank yous" from newbies :( ~ 14:40, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

I reckon it's the bad boy moustache... — Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:12, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Nah, it's the kilt. And the fact that you're not wearing any underwear. ~ 15:15, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Finally

Platinum Pisser

Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

---

'Bout time I got to give you this! --UU - natter 09:14, Jan 2

Thanks:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:21, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1st January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

January 1st, 2009 • Issue 29 • The first newspaper to wish you a Happy Christmas 2009!

The UnSignpost starts 2009 as it ended 2008: Late The UnSignpost, the wiki newspaper with the highest staff turnover on the interwebs, has made a promising start to 2009, by being late with the first issue of the year. Gentleman editor UU said "I could say the issue was ready on time, but it was tricky to find a paperbot, but we at the Signpost have never hid behind excuses. Oh no, wait, we do that all the time. I couldn't be bothered to hunt hard enough to find a paperbot. Sorry. Still, it's not like the readers expect better, is it?" Several readers were probably available for comment, but we didn't ask them anything and blatantly made one up: "it wouldn't be the UnSignpost if it arrived on time", Orian57 might have said, if we'd asked him. The Patronising New Year EditorialTM If you follow a sensible calendar, and not a Chinese, Jewish, Muslim, Celtic or whatever one, a New Year has just dawned, bringing with it the faintest vestiges of hope. Hope that things may just be different this time. Hope that we may keep a resolution for longer than a week. Hope that we will achieve all those targets our hearts desire. Hope that mankind may finally rise above the pettiness of squabbling between families, religions and nations, and unite in a glorious surge towards a bright, common future. From this we can infer that Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption didn't have a clue what he was on about - hope is a ridiculous thing, and should be crushed as soon as possible. However, there is still the possibility, however remote, that something good might happen. Active users might start writing more good articles again. VFH might start to flow like it used to. Old users may return, invigorated, to bestow upon us fresh fruits of their imaginations. New users may arrive to take up the baton, and stride boldly forward, blessing us with a wealth of new articles that inject fresh purpose and impetus to the site. Don't look like that - it might happen. Well, monkeys might also fly out of your butt. Depends if teleportation technology ever becomes viable, widely available, and small enough to secure in such a narrow location. Face it, we haven't a clue what this year holds for us yet, folks, all we can do is try and make it the best we can by writing more articles, and helping new users out, and see where we go from there. This is your UnSignpost, patronising the fuck out of you. Happy New Year! Kevin Rudd says Uncyclopedia is the worst By Joe9320 Recently, Kevin Rudd said that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in Beijing, China, he said "Uncyclopedia is the worst. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. Fuck Uncyclopedia! It's just a plain ripoff of Wikipedia" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "Illogicopedia is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even Wikipedia doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words". As the people of Uncyclopedia, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is not a ripoff of Wikipedia. Hail Cthulhu!

Check out these pages! Something about us being the worst, maybe? Possessive pride The "bring back Gert" bandwagon starts here Upstanding songwriting competition From our logs: 14:04, 26 December 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.59.56.100 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (For doing something to a page on Phil Collins. You have terrible taste.) 12:56, 25 December 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked YourFriend (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (If I shove a Christmas tree up your ass, does that make you an angel?) 21:23, 18 December 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.182.114.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Your edits are bad on a scale I haven't seen in quite some time. You'd be the chosen one if the goal of this wiki was to make shitty stubs about your friends.) Biopic of the Week Proudly the worst since 2005, Uncyclopedia is the place all subscribers to this newspaper will have edited at least once. That means you are directly responsible for its worstness. We hope you feel suitably chastened. Year of the week 2008. As far as years went, it was OK - there were days in it, things happened and whatnot. People joined, people left, people returned, people lurked, people vandalised, and drama was never far away. But it's probably the best year we've had for at least 8 months. Year that hasn't happened yet of the week. 2022. We just get a good feeling about it. It'll probably suck now. Exhortation to vote on stuff of the week We at the UnSignpost know how much you all love voting, so what better treat than the bumper crop of New Year voting pages? Top 10 of Dec, WotY, UotY, PotY, WotM, UotM, PotM, RotM, VFH, VFD... How much fun can you have in one month?

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MrN9001 01:04, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Award.

IronLung 08:37, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Thanks there:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:33, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Apologies...

...for the fiddling - it'll get me on the sex offender's register one of these days - hopefully, it'll reduce nit-picking on Pee Review though. Nice article, by the way - sounds rather like my own musical tastes. I've put a link in Hasid House to it too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:19, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the fiddle - heres to alienating music:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:23, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

/me np Blok 57 - This Is Not America. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:29, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Swift Once-Over

This is not a review request, this is a request for you to take a swift glance at Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?, which Prettiestpretty wrote and I embellished, and give one of the following responses on this talk page: 1. Needz moar workz; 2. Lol, dude that haz teh funniez; 3. Something intelligible. Whaddaya say? --UU - natter 13:19, Jan 6

I pick number 2 "Lol, dude that haz teh funniez." Yeah its good - nice pace etc. good stuff:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:38, 6 January 2009 (UTC)

Cool. Ta. --UU - natter 13:40, Jan 6

UnSignpost 8th January 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

January 8th, 2009 • Issue 30 • Suckling the Milk of News from the Teat of Truth

Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live By SysRq Recently, hundreds dozens some Uncyclopedians have joined the ranks of thousands of pizza-faced proud high school graduates and pre-pubescent twelve year old boys in the dysfunctional, loosely connected network of gamers known as Xbox Live. Among these traitors to Uncyclopedia were Orian57, a friend of the UnSignpost and frequently featured writer. Other Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live include The Woodburninator, Mhaille, Bonner, and Heerenveen. How could such successful Uncyclopedians go so wrong? I went undercover as "Pope Gustav" to expose these turncoats and find out why they abandoned the site in such numbers. The following is an actual transcript between me (under the alias "Pope Gustav") and Orian57 (under the alias "Orian57") on Xbox Live. Pope Gustav: Hey buddy, it's SysRq from Uncyclopedia. Orian57: Hello. You want to play some Horde? Pope Gustav: Yeah, man. We're playing on Gridlock, right? Orian57: Actually, Security is a much easier map for Horde. Pope Gustav: Cool. This is stunning evidence that Orian57, along with others, is leaving the site for the glamorous life of Xbox Live. When confronted with this transcript and these accusations, Orian replied that "I was just on Uncyclopedia today. I was just bored and wanted something else to do." Oddly enough, all of the other Uncyclopedians that have Xbox Live accounts that I spoke to also claimed to have "lives" outside of Uncyclopedia, lives that mainly consist of playing Halo 3. Article gets +21 votes on VFH By Mnbvcxz. Only a few days after going back to featuring "Today's Featured Article" for only one day, instead of the previous two, the article, The defense rests, your honor received 21 "for" votes and no "against" after a mere 3 days on VFH. The article, nominated on VFH by SysRq, and written by noted admin Modusoperandi, is the first article surpass +20 votes in a long while on VFH. Upon hearing of his accomplishment, Modus is heard to have said, "I'd like to thank all of the little people that I crushed to get where I am," and, "Can I wear my Kernel Popcorn costume?" SysRq, the article nominator is quoted as saying, "I was the one who nommed that article; I deserve some recognition." For those of you are new around here, VFH is the process by which uncyclopedia nominates articles for "Today's Featured Article", the article in the top left corner on the mainpage. All users of uncyclopedia, including anonymous ip users are encouraged to vote on VFH and nominate articles on VFH. VFH can be found here, but typing in VFH in the search box, by clicking the "Votes for Highlight" link under the community links on the right (it's second from the bottom between "Pee Review" and "Votes for Pictures"), and Uncyclopedia:VFH, in addition to several other redirects. Many users have expressed approval of this accomplishment, as the more votes an article gets, the better an article is. Therefore, by voting on an article, one injects more quality into an article, in the same way that manufacturers "inspect" quality back into a finished part. Additionally, the admins will not longer be forced to torture various cute animals to inspire users to vote in VFH: provided VFH doesn't stall out again.

Check out these pages! Serious Bitchin' Business Women farting on baked goods... Who was that guy? From our logs: 14:30, 7 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.249.151.205 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hi hi poop? That's the best you can do?) 22:38, 6 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.201.148.112 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (People who don't learn need to get extra lessons via their anus. Well, I'm here to give extra lessons. Bend over mister!) 15:22, 4 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.175.81.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (1nd, I have 2 dads, and 2th, just because I am the product of dirty, dirty incest, and also a fuckface, that is no reason to blank my talkpage. Fuckface.) Biopic of the Week Whatever else you say about Mordillo, you can't say he's idle. Except in real life, because he's spending all his time on his computer, banning asshats, deleting crap, making stuff happen, writing quality articles, and sorting shit out. Of course, as he's a Zionist, it's all part of a wider conspiracy to control our very thoughts, but that's probably a small price to pay for such an efficient admin. Old School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. Translated Uncyclopedia Article of the Week Drill Sergeant in Mexican. ¡UN INSTRUCTOR DE ENTRENAMIENTO ES LO QUE CARAJOS SOY! ¡DESDE AHORA NADA VENDRÁ DE ESA INMUNDA COLADERA LLENA DE CACA QUE USTED LLAMA BOCA! ¡SÓLO RESPONDERÁ CON 'SÍ SEÑOR' O 'NO SEÑOR'! ¿¡ENTIENDE RECLUTA!? Read the original. The welcome(?) return of Cajek ban of the week 09:46, 7 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Cajek, you have no idea how wasted I am. 15 shots of gin and somehow I'm still awake. And blocking you. Fuck yes.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 16:07, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

Article

PsychotypeD 16:01, 10 January 2009 (UTC)Hey Sycamore, I need some help. I've got this really annoying IP user who keeps trying to completely re-alter my Spongebob V.S. Zim article. I'm usually an open guy, but I don't like what he's doing to it. This has gone on for three days and no matter how much I do away with his stuff, he just keeps coming (and messing things up). Do you know any way I can block him or something like that?

IPs can be problem from time to time (also very helpful sometimes). Luckly for you, you appear to have just the one that is causing trouble here: 24.147.190.89. Now you could post a message on the IP talkpage explaining things first. Also when you revert you can leave a message in the summary on why those edits were crappy. This is my advice on what to do first of all - I'll be keeping an eye on things now that you've brought it up - If you can deal with it this way, and it does not work, then we'll have a look at trying something else. Does that sound OK?:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:19, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

PsychotypeD 18:52, 10 January 2009 (UTC) Okay thanks. The guy is welcome to edit the page by adding new characters or new events, but when it comes to completely altering the entire article... well that's pretty serious. I have kept some stuff (such as General Godzilla) that he wrote, but I don't like how he is completely altering things like Spongebob beating Zim. If he wants there to be an article like this on the site, fine he can make it. But I don't want him taking apart my article and building it his way to do it.

By the way when you mean the IP address talkpage, do you mean clicking on the link there and brining it up on the discussion part (I've never had to do this before)?

Yeah, just click on the IP discussion page and leave a message. Often that will be enough, he does not look to be adding anything in bad faith, so its fair to assume he might be reasonable:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:46, 11 January 2009 (UTC)

Oi! You!

You're supposed to be on a holiday no?! ~ 10:59, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

I know, I'm a very bad person;) /me goes to write 2000 word essay and pester people for internships--Sycamore (Talk) 11:01, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Did you finish your essay??? I'm not letting you slack on your studies there! O_O ~ 13:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Yes I did M-, SPECTRE has been defeated again and I have passed around that problem I have to several women...--Sycamore (Talk) 14:37, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh do pay attention Double O Sycamore. --UU - natter 14:39, Jan 16

UnSignpost 15th January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

I love it when the news comes together

January 15, 2009 • Issue 31 • Making the New York Times look like Mad Magazine (or is that the other way round?)

From The Desk of the Cabal: Incest and sex change are now bannable offenses From the desk of the cabal. Embedded with the last person who came looking for the cabal Following the sex change operations of citizen (now citizeness) Yettie, and several suspicious sexual activities in the Uncyclopedia compound, the Cabal hereby decrees the following: Sex changes are only allowed if the citizen wishes to become a voluptuous female. Any other operations are banned (particularly those who wish to become males, or just more manly looking, in order to improve their chances of scoring with various Uncyclopedians of either gender). Any sexual activities with family members is strictly prohibited. Exceptions are: members of the AAN family members, who can shag aunts and granddaughters as much as they'd like. Sex tax is now in affect. All sex acts taking place in Uncyclopedia are taxable. Taxes should be paid to Olipro no more than 24 hours after the act has taken place. Acceptable currencies are: Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Young Boys and Camels. Thank you citizens, this message was not delivered by the Cabal which does not exist. Behave nice, vote on VFH and obey the Cabal. The Cabal is your friend. Or it would be. If it existed. Pee Revuu? In a surprise move, Boomer, former dictator in absentia of PEEING, the group for opinionated users who enjoy nothing more than giving a good Pee Review, has announced his official retirement. His last official act was to appoint Under user, noted reviewer and maintainer of the Pee Review committee page, to his old position of Captain Catheter. Some regular pee reviewers are worried; Orian57 was heard to say "If UU is going to do Boomer's job, then who the hell are we going to get to do UU's old job of keeping track of pee reviews, judging the quality of pee reviews, and actually getting around to doing the occasional pee review? Don't look at me, I'm gay." UU himself dismissed such fears, pointing out that he's got nothing better to do with his time than arbitrarily judge the quality of other people's opinions anyway, and adding "I'm relieved to be taking up this position as it will drastically reduce the number of reviews I'm expected to do. Also, I'm thinking of introducing a policy of stripping Orian57, and only him, of his RotM award, his rank, his mittens and his right to drink hot chocolate ever again unless he does a bloody review some time soon". However, some users are still not convinced this is a good idea, or even possible. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "I seriously doubt that UU can do Boomer's job and his own at the same time. I mean, how can he be accused of being a lazy arse if he has almost twice as many good pee reviews as anyone else and does 75% of the pee review maintenance tasks? This ruins the running pee review committee in-joke about Captain Catheter not doing anything. There is no way this can work."

Check out these pages! Rcmurphy of the Year Mooses pops back for some bandwagon action The reason for 4pedia From our logs: 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) 23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.) 01:06, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.135.165.198 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hey! I remember you! You evaded that ban that one time, remember? Good times, man, good times.) 15:17, 10 January 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modus Operandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (1 month for being an ass, the other for that stupid username.) Biopic of the Week It's hard to define the singular entity known as Modusoperandi in mere words. He's like Uncyclopedia's wandering troubadour of amusing non-sequiturs: roaming the land in search of discussions worthy of his absurdist input, sitting by the campfire of the conversation, treating those assembled to another whimsical one-liner, and then heading off toward another exchange where his presence is required. Kinda like the Littlest Hobo, but with jokes. And lots of awards, featured articles, admin powers and suchlike. VFD Delete vote of the week Delete How many half-baked, stale jokes can we fit on one page? More importantly, how can something be stale and yet only half-baked? by Syndrome on Awesomeness. Transatlantic jaunt of the week After many months in the hands of that most malevolent of dictators, the United States date format, the New Year allowed our stand-up English editor to put the UnSignpost printing presses on a 747 to what this journalist considers the correct British format! Rejoice! (Note: What you paid for this paper may or may not have gone on the presses' ticket. We don't know. It may also have gone on that booze over there.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:34, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Re:Is this ready?

Yes! --EMC ^[TALK] 21:17, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

NORBIT

Sycamore

You look like Norbit. Mixed with John Coffey. And cross-bred with a carton of bumper stickers. NORBIT! --noamshouseparty 09:36, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

I actually look more like this. You have a lousy imagnination.--Sycamore (Talk) 09:41, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh, too bad. At least I had a guess. And my imagination is much worse than the everyday garden variety LOUSY model. But no matter. --noamshouseparty 09:50, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Hello, Sycamore

Just a friendly hello from AnotherBadName in uncyclopedia! And please have a good day! Im off! Oh, and GO CARDINALS!--AnotherBadName 17:49, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Yeah! Cardinals goin to the super bowl!--AnotherBadName 01:16, 19 January 2009 (UTC)

Fred Phelps

Hey Sycamore, I added the Matthew Shepherd bit to the Fred Phelps page. Do you think it's a bit extreme? Or is it good?--Ericap 19:25, 19 January 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, looks alright. It's tagged for rewrite so you can wade in there - check out these Uncyclopedia:Best of and HTBFANJS. Have fun:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:32, 19 January 2009 (UTC)

nominated

Nominated Author of the Month

This user has been nominated for UnBooks Author of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at UnBooks:Author of the Month.

--Docile hippopotamus 04:07, 20 January 2009 (UTC)

voting

are users allowed to vote for and against someone for the same award? --Docile hippopotamus 21:18, 20 January 2009 (UTC)

Which awards are you talking about? - sometimes negative votes cannot be counted (normally)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:44, 20 January 2009 (UTC)

You voted against Benson and for sannse for uncyclopedian of the month. Choose. --Docile hippopotamus 04:33, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

No.--Sycamore (Talk) 08:49, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

A note for the Uncyclonazi

The facts:. I don't like you and I know you don't like me. However, I feel the need to clarify my insult so that it's crystal clear.

You have quite the collection of treatises about how everything sucks on this site in recent years, including numerous references to the quality of writing now being poor by comparison with the past (mythical idealized past). Excuse me sir, but you just voted  For on an article that actually used "Dave" to rhyme with slave....there's no context or need for "Dave" and I can find numerous grade school children who are better at rhyming than that. Hey! Let's put it in the front page!!! Sir, you have no standards beyond political ones and your flowery prose reeks of pompous ass.--    09:39, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Calm down Doc - I voted for that too, and I did so because it was a funny article. The "Dave" rhyme amused me, partly because it's so incongruous, and reminds me of quite a lot of songs which are great for the most part, but have a dodgy rhyme or two in them. It's a funny article. Perhaps you should relax a bit, and remember this isn't all serious business. Syc's a good guy. You're a good writer, but seem very quick to get on your high horse about perceived slights. Chill, man! ;-) --UU - natter 09:59, Jan 22

I did not know that I did not like you - I'll be sure to update the vengeance list! Just to qualify I vote on the basis of what I find to be well written and funny - I don't really care what people choose to see it as; however the site being filled with pretty wacky types like myself and often what I vote for will reflect what a lot of other people find funny – there’s no covert bad faith issue here. My articles (I assume you are talking about Uncyclopedia) about the site are often laced with quite a bit of self parody as well - the truth is that a lot of the negative qualities I have parodied reflect something I think we have all contributed to, not a bitching session or any slights against users. I hope that nothing I have ever done on here has been to undermine people individually, however some actions that are unhelpful I will flag up without hesitation, as I would expect others to do of myself - this is all part of a collaborative project, not a one man quest. I would also make a lousy Nazi since I hang around with Jews:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:25, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Somebody's calling a Sycamore a right wing racist?! I always got the feeling that Sycamore was a raging liberal. --Mnbvcxz 19:16, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Obviously, now get back in line Number 133 or I'll use this cattle prod on you...--Sycamore (Talk) 19:27, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Whoring Myself Out

I created pretty much everything i'm gonna contribute way earlier and want to eventually get out of college and turn some of it either into a cartoon or comic book or both. Can I put something at the end of say my Rangers article like "Anyone who would want to draw an actual comic book about these characters should contact....[my set aside yahoo account that can get hacked and die for all I care cause i only use it to store porn anyway]. I don't wanna break any uncyc rules buuuut i also don't wanna start putting up my ideas if i can't turn them into real life gold later. The jew in me needs to whore out but the writer in me is dying to give the world a taste of my creations. --Shingraham 16:28, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

My understanding is that would not be good option - any stuff you submit is not owned by yourself anymore and the characters you have created can be used by anyone - so getting publishing etc could be borderline impossible is someone could distrbute your work for free. You're sort of suggesting advsertising for future sequals and contributions outside of the site which kind of goes against the idea. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:03, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

K so then i'm gonna keep my other characters to myself, thanks. But just so i'm 100% clear from this point on if i myself wanted to take anything that I put on here and try and distribute it either for free or for profit that's just me being a money whore and doesn't really affect the site, right. Because i'm totally building towards being a money whore.

Its very prefereble that you don't whore for reasons (money, stuff) outside of the site as we're non profit; however being a money whore in life is the only way to go:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:44, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Pants

HeHe. MrN 22:12, Jan 22

Twice in a row, impressive--Sycamore (Talk) 22:14, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Sylvia Plath

I want to edit my profile, but I have no idea what to do or put. Could you help me Sycamore? --Ericap 15:24, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Hi there, If you click on the red link User:Ericap - there will be a question of whether you want to create to the page, if you say yes you'll come up with an editng screen where you can add text etc just like an article. What you put is up to you, usually most put some stuff about themselves, to do list, or articles thet have written or will write - its a question of preference. Good exapmples of others would be like Hardwick Fundlebuggy, Mhaille or Jocke Pirat. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:31, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

January 22 + 7, 2009 • Issue 32 • Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while

Zionists consolidate wiki power By The rather nervous junior horoscope writer accidentally promoted to editor in chief Yeah the st-story is, erm, about Mr Mor-Mordillo’s erm asce-ascent—rise to new power. He was, eh, pr-promoted to erm, Be-Beu- Bureaucrat? Which, erm, me-means he can- can now do- do th-things he cou-couldn’t d-d-do b-before; Kind-kind of like m-my pro-pro-promotion. Heh-heh, th-that was a j-jo-joke. S-some Un-Uncyclope-Uncyclopedians th-think this p-p-proves s-s-s-something abou-about so-some s-sort of J-Je-Jewish, erm, conspiracy. Or-or something, I-I’m n-not really sh-sh-sure why that was meant to be funny. Pro-pro-probably was-was-wasn’t. So-sorry. Th-the decision ca-came about b-b-because of th-the fuh-fuh-forum voting process in-in-initiated b-by Under—Under user wh-who was u-u-upset tha-that Bureaucrat C-C-Codeine had decided to leave. After s-some ti-time voting it-it was d-d-decided that Mordillo w-w-would become a Bureaucrat and that C-C-C-Codeine wasn’t leaving a-a-after all! Which was g-g-good. M-M-Mordillo di-didn’t ma-make a c-c-comment s-so I-I’ve b-been told t-to make one u-up. Erm, “Ha ha ha! N-Now you-you’re all un-under my thumb!” Or something, that that wasn’t really f-funny ei-either. Sorry, M-Mordillo, it-it’s not my W-words! Image:Do a jailbait.jpg Determined to be a Shemale By Mnbvcxz and Orian57 To the relief of Uncyclopedians everywhere, notorious image "Do a jailbait" has been scientifically proven not be a girl. Originally, many suspected that the disturbing and disturbingly attractive image was that of young girl: age estimates ranging from jail bait age down to "pedo-bear approves" age. However, due to much "research" on the internet regarding the appearance shemales who are just over the age of consent, it has been determined that said image was in fact a young shemale. Researchers said the hairy arms and the huge penis of the lady in question proved without reasonable doubt that the image can not be that of a girl. Many in the Uncyclopedia community were relived by the news. Orian57 in particular who stated the child was “quite sexy.”, on the image talk page, was relieved to find he could no longer be considered bisexual. Some worry about the continuing freedom of Sockpuppet of an unregistered user after his comment: “I don't care. Me wanna rape!”

Check out these pages! Think of the Grues, won't someone please think of the Grues? Looks like the cool and sexy admins IP is back under another different name then Virtually nothing From our logs: 19:48, 22 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Jeus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (And the Lord said, "Let there be bannination," and there was bannination, and one more asshat was kept off of the wiki, and the Lord looked and he saw that it was good.) 03:30, 19 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.27.241.181 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking talk pages is annoying. Your inability to take a joke is even more annoying. The fact that you haven't yet been banned for either is the most annoying of all. I can fix one of those.) 02:47, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked CANIHASTHISPLEEZ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Looks like somebody needs to get a life. This nice little ban will keep Uncyclopedia from getting in the way of that.) Biopic of the Week To some, a meaningless jumble of letters, Mnbvcxz is much, much more than that. In fact, he's much, much more than you could possibly imagine. In fact, he's so much more that trying to explain it in a small box in a wiki newspaper is futile, particularly if you spend so much time explaining that you can't explain his awesomeness that you leave yourself little space to try. Still, he reviews, categorises, helps out and does stuff. But that's only the tip of the iceberg that is Mnbvcxz! Reason why the UnSignpost is a week late of the fortnight The editor was busy, and totally lacked inspiration. Want to make sure the paper is on time next week? Give us a story in the press room! Cajek ban of the fortnight 05:21, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a spanking ‎ (20 bans in August, 9 in September, 10 in October, Just 2 in December and 2 in January. Disgraceful.)

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MrN9001 02:34, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

So yeah, people normally thank others for their vote if they won something, but I'm chuffed enough at being runner-up to Mordillo in UotY, and I'm on a thanking spree. Not with a template, but with words of genuine gratitude - cheers man, from an absolute trojan like yourself, that vote means a lot! --UU - natter 17:15, Feb 1

No probs, along with the evil Jew you keep the place going:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:50, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Who ya calling an evil Jew eh? eh? Also, I'm in your bloody kingdom, and the whole place is shut down due to severe snowing. I thought you lot used to rule the world? You know? The sun always shines on the Union Jack? And you can't handle snow? O_O ~ 10:21, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

All the Northern countries lost their power after the Global Cooling started. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:26, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Glasgow actually not too bad, its the Limeys that are getting hit pretty bad - you should have come to Scotland for better weather:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:28, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

I'll make a note on that for my next trip. Bloody limeys, honestly sic, I have no clue how they ever managed to conquer Scotland. ~ 10:36, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

We know precisely how to handle snow, thank you very much. If you see more than 3 flakes in the space of 24 hours, you: panic; close the schools; get into massive traffic jams; complain about it to anyone who'll listen (and several who won't); take the day off work, claiming it's "unsafe to drive". Did I miss anything? (None of which explains why I'm at work, now I come to think of it...) --UU - natter 10:51, Feb 2

You forgot the part about the trains being stopped and the airports being shut down and people wonder about waiving their arms like bugs on drugs. ~ 11:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

You should all do what I do when the weather gets bad, sit around in your pants for days on end and pull a Howard Hughs.--Sycamore (Talk) 11:08, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

That's what I've been doing for quite some time now. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 11:11, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Modusoperandi published a self help book based on the "smug layabout welfare lifestyle" - I was converted; its less emotianlly harmfull as Fight Club, more fun watching Science fiction.--Sycamore (Talk) 11:15, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

February 5, 2009 • Issue 33 • It's Journalism Jim, but not as we know it.

The ‘of the Year’ run down of the year! By Orian57 So after a long neurotic month of blatant prostitution, secret e-mail canvassing, bribery and coercion in deciding who should win the various ‘of the Year’ awards (plus a completely normal five days of knowing who did) the results are in! UotY: Mordillo! Nominated (but not voted for) by UU with the reason “[he does] the big bad wolf stuff to keep fuckwits at bay.”. 21 Jew jokes later (“Jew that controls the internet”, “I feel I have to vote for him” and “I love this man. To the point that his girlfriend is seriously distraught by it”) Mordillo was the landslide victor a whole 12 votes ahead of the runner up, UU! And he deserved it too (though to be frank I deserved it more)! Our WotY was Modusoperandi! Narrowly beating Mhaille by 2 votes he was nominated by UU with the reasoning “…Tends to brighten my day whenever I see him, although that could be the light reflecting off his gleaming naked body.” Another 19 Canadian jokes ( “this silly Canadian”, “I never would have thought that casting a vote would be so painful as this” and “Modus is like maple syrup. On the outside he's all golden, sweet and sticky. On the inside however, he's all golden, sweet and sticky”) won him the award! (though to be frank I would have appreciated it more!) Next up was our winner of PotY, Prettiestpretty! She was nominated (but not voted for) by Mhaille because she is the “producer of some very impressive work” and has won the PotM twice! 18 girl jokes later (“such a foregone conclusion”, “She's earned this and then some” and “Unlike most people here, I'm actually going to give a reason for voting for PP. I'm even going to write two sentences explaining the reason.”) she deservedly won the award which she herself designed. (I don’t even know how to use MS paint but I’d still like to have been acknowledged). There was also an impromptu N00b of the Year award created that Rcmurphy ran off with. He was nominated by Spang with the reason “He really deserves it this time” and received 12 N00b jks (“How can you be a year old and still be a noob without being rcmurphy”, “He's still confused too” and “[Hyperbole is] regularly here and dangerously competent. Rc remains the quintessential n00b”). (*grumble* I started lurking in 2007…) Lastly and leastly there was the UGotY which was awarded to Wikia. Nominated by Mhaille with the reason “Wikia continue to raise the bar on defining what it means to be a Useless Gobshite”. He/she/it got 5 jokes that I don’t properly understand (“As much as I'd like to see Yettie take this, Wikia is both more useless and far more of a gobshite”, “it's rare to see such dedication to gobshitery” and “Outstanding contributions to fail.”). (Ok so I’m not bitter about loosing this.)

Check out these pages! Penis Pants Er, fox? From our logs: 1:33, 2 February 2009 Flyingfeline (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.169.166.86 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Oh, brilliant. Well, that's going to be fun for both of us. I wonder who'll get bored first?) 04:39, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.138.52.153 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hey there! Remember me? I was the admin that asked you to stop failing so hard back in October. Now I'm asking again, but with a ban length 12 times longer.) 18:16, 29 January 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Sej (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ ("And He saw the work, and He was sore displeased; and He did smite the n00b with all his wrath". Book of Codeine, ch. 6, vs 9) Biopic of the Week YesTimeToEdit Commonly known as Yettie, he won N00b of the Month back in April 08 after writing a featured UnNews. He went on a crusade to gave us all more things not to care about than we can handle. Following another feature he deservedly won UGotM. There has also been some recent confusion about his gender. Cajek ban of the week 04:48, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 28 minutes ‎ (Apparently the UnSignpost has a 'Cajek ban of the week' section. This is my week!) Custom box #3 This box is empty. Imagine something nice here like a Caribbean holiday, getting sand in your shoes and arse crack while being blistered by sun you weren't made to handle and pretending to enjoy yourself.

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9001(bot)  03:18, Feb 5

Template:Random

My main reason for editing to template was to keep the image from going outside the template borders. Also, I really don't like 100% width templates, they tend to look bigger than they are. --Mnb'z 16:20, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah - it could do with some work, I think it's an idea that they are not too intrusive, unless its something more major (like ICU). I like the Cleanup one - it can be added to the bottom or the top and its nice a clear about what its asking for and it does not muck up a page. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:10, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

I think this template is trying to function as a canned joke. It does serve a marginally useful warning purpose (i.e. it tells the reader to go any further.) Ideally, templates should warn without uglifiying and cluttering a page too much. I personally think the template should look like this:

But, I'm afraid that big of change will not go over well with certain people. Some humor is such templates is ok at times, but warning templates and sectional templates exist to convey information, not to (try to) be funny in themselves.--Mnb'z 17:45, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

I agree 100%, I like the one you've done, maybe a little more noticlable, but its the sort of thing that conveys the idea there:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:32, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately, some people use this template as a canned joke. Also, that template is functioning both as a "warning" and as a "fix this" template, and maybe as a "foul this up even moar" template. --Mnb'z 22:07, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

It is your destiny.

Your fate is sealed. Nothing can stop me now. I promise you, with God as my witness, that I will make you op. You cannot win! Muahuahuahuahuaaa! —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:31, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

I am very flattered, bad sadly I do not really want to be an op:(--Sycamore (Talk) 08:47, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

February 12, 2009 • Issue 34 • Mainlining news direct to your talk page artery

Worrying influx of n00bs a threat to Uncyc's "worst" status By UU How can you resist my n00b power of cuteness? After the flow of n00bs slowed to a trickle at the tail end of 2008, 2009 has seen the site experiencing a veritable tidal wave of new editors, enthusiastically bounding around the site like wide-eyed puppies that have yet to meet Olipro, tramping mud into the carpet, and leaving half-eaten IPs on the floor of the Village Dump. Worse still, many of these new arrivals show early signs of being dangerously competent: writing funny articles; giving in-depth pee reviews; voting on stuff; helping folks out - generally making the kind of contributions that could, if the community is not careful, lead to the site losing its coveted "worst" status. Experienced editors queued up to condemn the invasion - "Very happy to see the influx in good new editors coming in, we've been devoid of that extra boost for far too long it seems" said RAHB, the bile seething from his every pore, while MrN spoke scathingly about "great additions to Uncyc". But is it too late? With competition for the NOTM award at its most fierce for months (4 noms and none of them Rcmurphy at the last count), it looks like it may be too late to reject this transfusion of new blood. Is there any hope for the long-term future of the proud traditions of the wiki under this relentless onslaught of new talent? A comment on Bullshit from MrN As a well known protagonist of the noble and honourable art of bullshitting I felt it my place to speak out regarding this most tricky of issues. Much has been said of late regarding the consistency, and texture of what we at Uncyc consider to be suitable for our beloved wiki. As you know, normal traditional (un-specified) crap we don't want, but there must always be room for more bullshit on Uncyclopedia. Some will no doubt consider my last comment to be horse shit, which (as you may know) has a slightly thicker consistency. The dilemma we must then face is how do we categorise and specify the fine (if rather smelly) line between what is crap and what is bullshit. The study of bull-crap may also been of concern to some readers, but I feel it not my place to enter that arena. This article stinks enough as it is. However... When considering bullshit, I feel it important to point out our rigorously defined guidelines regarding the use of bollocks as I feel many of the important principles apply. If I may quote: “Sometimes articles arrive at Articles for deletion which have only the most tenuous connection to reality: they are, to use a British term, Complete Bollocks. This is not always a bad thing.” ~ Uncyclopedia:Complete Bollocks I think that speaks for itself. Got it? So basically, we want more bullshit, some horse shit, and a liberal helping of complete bollocks. But NO CRAP. Unless it's crap which adds to the general stench of the article in question (assuming that stinking is what we want). Got it now? Well, look at it this way... There was a man who had three wives. No, that was Moses. Oh, so Moses comes down from Mount Sinai and says: "Well, lads. I got him down to ten, but adultery is still in." No wait. Sorry, that was complete bollocks. I'm drifting into the realms of pointless excrement, and what does this have to do with anything? Don't tell them that! So what was it I was talking about again? Oh, yea... Does anyone know where I left my slippers?

Check out these pages! Apparently, we had a "golden era" Only the Lonely Oh, it's nothing to do with marriage. I'm disappointed Random suggestion If we weren't on the internets, I'd say this was getting geeky From our logs: 13:25, 9 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.71.123.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (1 day for blanking, 1 week for blanking a featured, 2 weeks for blanking a top 10 and the rest is a bonus!) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 16:41, 7 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Luvvy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a purrr ‎ (And that's for flirting with another admin. Shame on you.) Biopic of the Week DrStrange is one of these here stellar n00bs that we're wittering on about in that there main article. He's been here for a bit over 2 months, and in that time has won NotM and already been nommed for WotM. At this rate, he'll be WotY by about June. Good job he's funny and good at writing things really, otherwise we'd be obliged to hate his precocious guts. Gender confirmation of the Week YesTimeToEdit astonished the Uncyclopedia community by admitting to being male. Orian57 continued in whale raping Yettie. SysRq consequently "won teh penis", granting him this most prized life-time achievement award. In the ensuing chaos, Sockpuppet of an unregistered user cut off Yettie's penis and went on a raping spree with it. Mnbvcxz still believed that Yettie was a girl and the latter declared his love and desire to be raped towards the former. SoaUU AKA Sockie admitted having a vagina, or did (s)he?... Mnbvcxz refused to give his/her gender... Will Yettie get his penis back? Who is pretending to be male and who is pretending to be female? Tune in next week! Same penis-time. Same penis-channel. Cajek ban smackdown of the week 02:53, 10 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a voyage made in less than twelve parsecs ‎ (You want a ban-off, RAHB!? BRING IT!) 00:46, 7 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Kessel run ‎ (I shall not allow TheLedBalloon to dethrone my weekly Cajek-banning title!)

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9001(bot)  20:50, Feb 11

VFS

Seriously? What the hell? "and there would be no need for the stuff I do around here" Eh? Dude seriously... Look at Led. Did being an op affect him? MrN 22:39, Feb 11

Led seemed to do a lot more writing before he was opped, at least as far as I can tell. I kind of feel that it would make being here a lot less fun, I’m gunning down to be a GUN (as you might guess from the amount of crap I’m pumping out) and I’m pretty content to terrorize the inmates as I am for now:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:56, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for voting

And now, a special message from the President *pff...hehe* of the United States My fellow Uncyclopedians, This past vote on VFH has been an emotional one for our wiki. The people have spoken, and I am honorated to accept the privilegitude to servify the Uncyclopedia front page for another eight years. What do you mean, articles are only featured for one day? Thank you for voting. Much love, —Sir SysRq (talk)

Artemis Fowl

I simply reverted the Opal/Artemis section to its previous format because it was funnier that way. I'm new on Uncyc but it seems that many articles, particularly the Artemis Fowl article seem to be being rigidly controlled by certain users, particularly yourself (no personal attack intended). The irony being that when users add silly random things to articles (such as that nonsense about baby eating in the aforementioned AF article) that aren't nearly as funny as the stuff you remove, you permit it. There's a similar problem taking place on Wikipedia actually so I don't know if there's some sort of secret organisation of rigid, totalitarian comformists trying to take over Wikia but I assure you, as long as I'm on the scene it won't be happening. --FunnyMan 13:49, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

We're not a "silly random" site in a stupid sense - although this is very clear - check out our Our articles we want rewritten and see this and this for a bit of inspiration and help with you contribuitions.--Sycamore (Talk) 14:01, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

I don't think I'm the one who needs help with his contributions Sycamore. I think you are. The thing is, your contributions don't seem to be funny, whereas ... well, mine are. Uncyclopedia seems to have a funny idea of what's funny and what isn't, ranging from pseudo-intellectualism to just plain silliness. --FunnyMan 18:09, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Hm. How about I jump in here? We get a lot of people like you who think you're funnier than we are. The truth is, Uncyclopedia is a very particular brand of funny. We take time in writing our articles, and we're pretty damn proud of the hard work we do around here. Sycamore is one of our top writers. You are nobody. Sycamore is vigilant about making sure that all articles, including those that are not as funny, stay, for the most part, free from vandalism. No one user has time to fix every article. That's why we rely on each other to fix unfunny articles and make this a better place. This is a wiki. It's a work in progress that will never be complete. That's why we encourage users to Be italic when it comes to fixing what they think is unfunny. If your edits are reverted by a more experienced user, tough. You have much to learn.

But I don't care about how funny you think you are. I care about my buddy here, who happens to be our current Author of the Month. See, he knows what he's doing. He's funny. He's clever. His articles are satirical and have a general point to make, as is our wish for all articles. Are all articles like Sycamore's articles? Unfortunately, no. Is every article that Sycamore edits going to be funny? No, Sycamore edits many articles, and not always to make them funnier. Sometimes he just tries to prevent further damage from being done. But what I don't appreciate is a little noob like yourself who thinks he's so much better than us showing up and telling my buddy he's not funny when he clearly is. Sycamore happens to be one of the most valuable users on this site, you are nobody. Please be productive instead of talking shit about my buddy or get the fuck out. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:21, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

I am...em...wow...~ 21:32, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

The irony is that I didn't know he had been banned for being a sock until after I posted this. Now don't I look silly? =] —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:37, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Also wow Sys, I have to admit I guessed it was a sock of Narcissus a while back, but thats the way these things go:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:16, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah that's actually one of the funniest things I've ever read on Uncyclopedia, not that that's saying much. Furthermore the fact that this wingeing Scot is the nominated writer of the month or whatever is merely testament to the idiocy of the children who run this website. I am the Messiah of Uncyclopedia. Without me it is nothing. You, SysRq, are nothing. You're less than nothing. In fact, you're not even important enough to talk to me. Fortunately for the website I neither forgive nor forget so I will be returning and you will wish you'd never heard the name Narcissus Black. 217.42.254.36 17:01, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh, grow up! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:12, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

He started it. --86.142.67.193 02:31, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Hmm...who would have guessed that the "Messiah of Uncyclopedia" would, in fact, have no writing talent whatsoever? Kinda makes you wonder what good this "Messiah" actually is, other than just talking a lot and getting banned. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:25, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

Better than the other one who talked a lot and got crucifed.--Sycamore (Talk) 10:16, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

Probably only in the sense that he has no influence over people. At least neither of them are real. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:42, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Pagan imbecile, YOU ARE SO OUT OF YOUR DEPTH! I'm just about the only person on this pathetic site with any writing talent. You on the other hand just stalk and insult editors superior to yourself. --86.142.67.193 02:31, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I don't think you could be considered the only person on this pathetic site with any writing talent, because you're not on this site. That's what the bans lead me to believe, anyway. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:35, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, why exactly are you here? We don't like you, and you don't contribute. There's no real reason for you to be here, unless you're just another troll like all the others that come here, beat their heads against the wall for a bit, and then leave. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:44, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

If its all so pathetic why do you come here? - seriously if you think people here are just complete bastards find something else with your time. This site is maintained by a largely uncreditied group of users who help around and about and keep the place nice, and a small writers who produce work for us (most do both to some degree). Its really not the place to make some kind of "stand about something" - find some people outside to call stalkers and facists - its really pathetic to go around a wiki anonymously and be abusive to others. I hope this will be the last we'll here from you.--Sycamore (Talk) 09:56, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

I know this may be totally random

..and a complete waste of your time but I feel compelled to ask, whats your take on Encyclopedia Dramatica? They all seem to hate us and if you visit their site on almost every talk page someone is dissing Uncyc, flaming us with random insults and whatnot.--CannabisUser94 05:55, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

My time is always wasted. With regards to ED, I don't really have a take, although some feel there is a rivalry between the two sites which I think prompts the slating from both communities. The reality however is that there is little in common with both sites, although sometimes content can be comparible the aims are very different and overall the content of both communities is pretty far apart:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:21, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

For nominating Memoirs of a Critic, its great to see your work appreciated, even after all this time.

No probs, I've always liked that one:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:25, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Also welcome back, seems you've not been around for a while:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:27, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Image

Yeah, not sure if you saw RadX made Image:Satan-business-is-good.png for you - I've archived it as it's been there for a while now, but just thought I'd mention it. --UU - natter 12:35, Feb 18

Hay thanks, I'm a bit snowed under, I had forgotten all about it:)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:57, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th February2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

February 19, 2009 • Issue 35 • Sifting the flour of news into the soufflé of your talk page

Uncyclopedia shuns ads in favor of product placement By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia admins today announced that there would most definitely never be advertisements placed in the hallowed halls of yon humor wiki. However, it seems in order to rake in the cash that would have resulted from these ads, similar to raking in the flavor from KFC's new Turkey-Flavored ChickenTM, we will instead be treated to subtle product placement in every facet of Uncyclopedia. The driving force behind this decision is undoubtedly greed. The driving force behind the new Ford ExplorerTM is Jack Bauer. Catch 24 this Sunday on FOX! Jack Bauer drives a Ford! When asked for Uncyclopedia's official political stance on the matter, sysop TheLedBalloon said, "You can't fool me Jimmy Carter! I voted for Gerald Ford in the last election and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT! You can't intimidate me with your 'pretending to be the newspaper reporter but actually being Jimmy Carter in disguise who will then detain me for several months of waterboarding hell' routine--fool me once, shame on you; fool my twice, shame on me...", which only added more fuel to the fire of speculation surrounding this occurence. For the best value fuel, visit Egan's SunocoTM. The mood in the Uncyclopedia break room was sombre today. Several users expressed their concern about not having ads placed on the wiki. "What? No ads? But how will we make money?" asked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. It seems the secret of product placement has been kept under wraps by the non-existant Cabal. For the best quality cling-wrap, choose Crestfield Wax PaperTM. When asked for the reason behind the secrecy, TheLedBalloon further elaborated on his earlier statement, saying, "FORD WAS RIGHT TO PARDON NIXON, DAMMIT! So take your goddamn liberal hippy goddamn elitist goddamn tax-raisings somewhere else!" Readers are reminded that Williams BrandTM is the preferred brand of hippy elitist tax-raisings by a 2-to-1 margin. Please stay tuned to the UnSignpost for further updates on the ad situation, the product placement situation, and how really, really terrible all of our articles are going to look with trademark tags mucking up the line spacing. Sonic Fever Hits Uncyclopedia By Joe9320 For the first time in 18 years - in fact, since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991 - Sonic Fever has again spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic is back! (Among several users on Uncyclopedia, at least). The first Golden Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic was way past his prime, grumbling about how he "used to be a contender" and trying to hock his large collection of gold rings and emeralds for beer money. People no longer cared about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time on the internet! It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. Uncyclopedia Experts have determined that the mania will be short lived, and be replaced by Mario Fever, and then a resurgence in Pokémon Fever all within the next 3 years. Meanwhile, Twilight mania among teenage girls will continue to outstrip it. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he was too busy for an interview. The UnSignpost imagines he'd probably have said something about Rouge The Bat being "hawt".

Check out these pages! Suffering voting withdrawal? This'll keep you happy for ages! So, do we collaborate... ...Or colonize? Decisions, decisions From our logs: 21:29, 15 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Thebigj2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1. blanker. 2. I live 10 minutes from Anna Frank's house, ergo - you're trashing my neighbourhood) 17:55, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Flyingwombatperson (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (If Britain no longer exists, why can I still buy British Breakfast tea? HUH? ANSWER ME THAT, SMART GUY! (also don't blank pages, please)) 13:21, 13 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Gettgett (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Do I know you? No. Do I know your butt ugly friends? No. Do I CARE about you and your friends? NO. Do I think you are all bored and butt ugly. YES. Get the point? Get some good looking friends) Biopic of the Week What do you look for in an amphibian? Long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits (fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail? Or a large banstick, supercool admin powers, awesome writing skills, gratuitous profanity and minor homicidal tendencies? If you chose the first option, you need a regular frog. If you chose the second, you need TKF. (Just don't call him TFK). If you chose the third option, you aren't playing properly. The continuing saga of Cajek block of the week 15:09, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Can you believe I haven't blocked you yet in 2009? Yeah, I know!) 07:40, Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 hours (Thou shalt not be Cajek, though I suppose thou must, so I shall cut thou some slack) 17:50, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 11 minutes ‎ ([edit/QuickEdit] Cajek (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • BLOCK (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) -- how Cajek on VFS looks to the sysops) 21:30, 11 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (Right you two - sod off, the chap had enough!) 21:06, 11 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 672 seconds ‎ (Oh that just fuckin' tears it Led. You hear me?! That fucking TEARS it! It's ON!)

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9001(bot)  18:14, Feb 19

Meh

Dont you even take a look at a sites history when you add categories? Arent you curious as yo why there are none =P Anyway, as you can see on the history I was workin on reverting the IPs empty work (his paragrafs were soo boring) to the old article. Even though that one aint great either it has categories and an image. Just lettin you know so you dont get all surprised if ya ever run into that article again =) Good to know we're both roaming "category-less" articles ;) Cheers. --kit 18:26, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

What don't I do! I even I have my own range of imitation noobs...--Sycamore (Talk) 18:41, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Where did he go? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 14:06, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Are you looking for a new job?

...With exciting new friends?

...With new challenges each and every morning?

...With new and shiny badge on top of your fedora hat?

...AND YOU GET TO PLAY WITH SHIT ALL DAY LONG!!!!

The Poopsmiths want you to join the guild, sign up today, before it's too late! ~ 11:33, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Sure, you're wish is my command Princess Tinkles:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:54, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Designated Poopsmith ! This user is designated an official scooper-jocky for VFD . Pity them.

I warn you, this badge is VERY messy... MrN 11:56, Feb 21

So, do we need another one? ~ 11:59, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Hopfully UU and MrN9000 will not abandon this completly?--Sycamore (Talk) 12:01, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

I think having two has worked well for me and UU... If one of us was not around the other filled in. Or shoveled out. Either way, I recommend two poopsmiths. MrN 12:02, Feb 21

/me eyes RabbiTechno--Sycamore (Talk) 12:03, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

I ain't planning to abandon this completely ;-) Although I have to say this is such an inspired choice. --UU - natter 17:02, Feb 21

Thanks

Thanks for tidying up my code :)– Preceding unsigned comment added by ChadiW (talk • contribs)

No probs:)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:21, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

Fiona Apple images

Thanks for the image help - it looks much better, I'm impressed.

Although I still like the bottom photo on the left to balance the pictures out, but I'll defer this time.

If you have twenty three more minutes to help me with some image arrangement stuff (I'm still really trying to get the hang of it) I would be indebted to you if you could suggest some better arrangements for the Los Angeles Angels images.... I wouldn't blow you or anything, because my price for that is a lot higher, but I would appreciate any time you could give.

Thanks --TPLN 18:25, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Had a look, is that better?:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:12, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

The look is much better. But the jersey image necessarily "goes with" the "Latest Controversial Change" section, so it's a toughy. Plus the two other pics are inexorably tied together, so you can't put the jersey image between them. Oh, well. I don't know.

Also, I understand getting rid of red liks, but sometimes the joke is in the link ("drug addled thugs" - there is no joke without that clearly referring to the Oakland A's; and "worst president ever" - linking to Bush is a tired cliche, while linking to the Rangers is a bit fresher). Is there a way to address this fact without a red link? --TPLN 20:28, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah it can be tricky, as you go along you can move the images about until they fit how you like - it can take time getting it to look cool. Usually I find that they come together as the article goes along, usually pretty spaced is the best way - either staggered or all aligned right looks good. The red links is tricky - they can be added again and its not bad thing to have a few (some say having red links looks more authentic as a parody of Wikipedia). Its really a preference thing, so I can add them again if you'd like?--Sycamore (Talk) 20:24, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

I'll work on it. Thanks for the time and the input. You are a kind and generous Tree. --TPLN 20:28, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

I hope I do my bit, you've been doing some really cool articles:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:48, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Well, thank you. I'm just over here playing in my corner, hoping that my mud pies come out at least a little bit tasty. --TPLN 20:57, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Are we...

Are we still good? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:21, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Of course:) - I'm told I can be gruff (especially in the morning) and I like to do things my way (heil!). MrN9000 put it pretty good, we need to keep these things working well, and fun on Ban Patrol is not good idea (I'd like some more patrolling and ban patrol use) - I've done and do a fair bit on here, if you have a question as to what I'm doing etc - however that should be done here, not on maintence pages etc (I'm accountable, and not above the same rules as everyone else). I do like to leave silly edit summeries however I usually find that your average vandal will leave pretty legit sounding ones so that you won't check them out:)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:33, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Okay. Glad to hear it. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:36, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Additionally...
Are we human or are we dancer? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:32, 25 February 2009 (UTC)