Poopsmiths

Mushington Chamberpot, the original poopsmith.

“I say, fair Poopsmith, have you seen the King's sheep?”

~ Homestar Runner on Poopsmiths

“You DO know what they say about giant piles of poop right? Only Poopsmiths dig em'.”

~ Richard Feynman on Poopsmiths

Poopsmiths (spelled Poopsmithes in Europe, Asia, Super Asia, Euthanasia, and surrounding islands, and Donald Rumsfeld in the USA) are the source of most of all natural recources. They make different stuffs (i.e. Candy {mostly Taffy}, Cheese {mostly Parmesan}, and sometimes Pants) out of giraffe poop. They are not to be confused with Pizza Men, who are much different (see paragraph 4).

The most famous Poopsmith is, of course, the very first one from Free Country, USA, Mushington Chamberpot. He served nobly under The King of Town, and has won several Poopsmithing awards. He has taken a vow of silence, and hasn't spoken in more than 3 years.

Origins

The first known Poopsmith was in Free Country, USA. He was hired by some dude named The King of Town (see above paragraph). Abraham Lincoln was the first U.S. President to use a poopsmith, reserving a pile that still exists today in the White House Rose garden. Many more people (including James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard) noticed Poopsmiths and decided to use Poopsmiths on their own lands.

Also, Mushington discovered Zaigon in his visit to Vietnam which subsequently lead to the Vietnam War.

Poopsmiths and Pizza Men

In many places, Poopsmiths are often confused with Pizza Men. The most notable differance is that Poopsmiths harvest the pizza's main toppings and such, while Pizza Men deliver and harvest the crust. Other differences are their looks, gear, and buttocks size.

Poopsmiths Today

Poopsmiths themselves are vanishing from the universe. In fact, North America, South America, and of course all of Pluto are the only places known to be home to Poopsmiths in any numbers (even though they are less popular then the Pizza Men in those lands). Abraham Lincoln set up a campaign called "Poopsmiths for everyone". He says "Send every piece of crap you make to The White House so that many products can be made".

This disappearance is largly due to modern sewage systems. At times these systems run too smoothly, and the Poopsmiths are left with less work to do. Most of them find odd jobs at Kinko's or in IT where they can at least make people very aggravated and wish in their minds, "Damn, I wish I could just poop right here in Kinko's so this idiot loser can clean it up."

To keep occupied, Poopsmiths often hang around dog-parks and just wait patiently to become useful.

See Also

Uncyclopedia:Poopsmith's Lounge